Great Moments in Local Journalism: CBS Says Autauga County, AL Drug Raids Are "an adventure you don't want to miss."
Pretend you're an Alabama reporter; how might you report on a massive, county-wide early morning drug and weapons round-up, a year and half in the making? And say that raid resulted in 36 arrested and involved 150 officers from:
The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives; the Drug Enforcement Administration; U.S. Marshals; Central Alabama Drug Task Force; Alabama Department of Corrections; Autauga, Elmore, Chilton, Montgomery Sheriffs' Offices; police departments from Prattville, Montgomery, Andalusia, Millbrook; and Alabama State Troopers….
Available weapons and tech for these officers was:
a range of weapons and machinery used in the execution of the sting. M4 Carbines, MP5 Sub-machine guns, shotguns, SWAT gear, halogen lamps, and battering rams were available to agents in the field. Helicopters were also available to officers in case a suspect decided to flee the scene.
Well, if you're CBS 8 reporter Jessica Gertler, all of the above information can be ignored, or breezily rushed past in vague description. The only thing her CBS piece offers is a parade of b-roll of masked SWAT officer and various black men being put into cars, some saying sassy things to the camera about "haters! Snitches!" The above block-quoted information is from the al.com blog which, though seemingly a bit slanted, at least managed to include some useful information.
Gertler, on the other hand, invites viewers along for "an adventure you won't want to miss". Her tone is breathless and excited about the police action.
The Thursday morning raids were one of the largest drug raids in state history. They were a success, if only because no one — not law enforcement or any of the suspects, or even any dogs, as far as we know — was injured. They didn't even have no-knock raids, but they rather "knocked and announced [themselves]" according to one undercover agent involved. The amount of drugs found was not yet reported, though most of the folks' warrants were issued because they had sold marijuana and crack cocaine to undercover agents. There were also a few illegal weapons found.
But of that information is not very relevant to Gartler, it's just good fun to watch the authorities, whoever they are, do whatever it that they're doing. Check out the report for yourself below. Also telling is the mayor of Autaugaville referring to the arrested as "trash":
On the other hand a different blond, young CBS 8 reporter actually bothered to talk to neighbors a few hours after the raids and after Gertler's report. Some locals — though not all — were troubled by the raids. Noted Autaugaville resident Totanisha Cobb, "First thing in the morning, I just didn't really know what was going on, especially with the kids and them being kind of scared and figuring out what was going on."
Strange, schizophrenic reporting from CBS, but there's no excuse, even an initial lack of information, for the kind of childish, ra-ra SWAT reporting that Gertler engages in; even if she is not the only one.
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My nuuuuuuttttsssss...
Seriously. Reason, did you get Balko back for the day or something? Because today's been one nutkick after another.
Lucy has been bringing the nut-hurting pretty consistently since she started.
This is definitely the only field where that's a really big compliment.
I'm sure there are dominatrices who would be pleased to hear it, too.
It is my great hope that one day Lucy will be able to deliver my nut kick in person.
(That didn't sound to creepy, did it?)
Seems like I owe Andrew S. an apology though, because Mike Riggs just posted on the crackdown on 71 Medical Marijuana dispensaries, so apparently the spirit of Balko has possessed the reason staff today.
If you feel the need to ask, you probably already know the answer.
Government announces early morning raids resulting in seizure of over three dozen illegal negroes. White folks swoon.
That isn't much of an exaggeration. She keeps saying that they are "being taken to jail" like a 5-year-old - not arrested or charged.
There is no mention if any actual drugs or illegal guns were found. Who cares? Some black people were arrested and the old neighborhood white guy is thrilled.
Too bad we don't have a black President, he might get pissed about this shit. Investigate or something.
Lucy, I have an alternative alt-text: "It's not a job, it's an adventure."
I should have just gone with "Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"
You need one of those looped animated GIFs.
We agreed years ago, when you were a mere glint in the Milkman's eye, that we would only say "Weeeeeeeeeeeeee" after any use of the term "Living Constitution"
I thought "weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee" was the safe word. No?
I wonder how much more of a boner Gertler would have gotten if they shot a few dogs or even some people. I mean, you don't want to miss that, right?
I wonder how much a boner Gertler would have if one of the officer's weapons accidentally discharged, the bullet exiting the gun and lodging itslef into Gertler's buttocks.
Guns went off, people were hurt...
I got shot in ass once (either air pellet or light caliber, grazed by, bloodying my cheek and ruining my pants). Didn't give the boner I was half expecting such an incident would.
I got shot in the ass with a BB gun once. That was enough to make me not want to get shot with a "real" gun ever, in any bodily part. Owwwww....
Stupid careless friends of my youth!!
My friend is now a cop on the NYPD. He was actually a likeable, but prankish fellow in high school. And, yes, I totally, completely and legendarily kicked his ass over it.
Just looked him up, no longer on NYPD but a cop out in Wisconsin now.
https://www.facebook.com/chris.alexander.714049
The guy with the baseball hat on the right?
Yup. Looks just like his dad did at about fifty five.
He should be just turning 45.
Look away, look away, look away Dixie Land.
I just Googled the first blond young CBS 8 reporter and I have to say she does not do well on camera. Some of the stills had her fairly attractive but every one of her on camera has her mouth open and looking like an idiot. Maybe her tone is always breathless and it's not just the police action?
OMG NO KNOCK RAID LOL SO FUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
This made me laugh out loud. Twice. Fer reelz.
lulz - good times
How unsubstiantive of you.
I don't even know you any more
Former commenter Jennifer had a good line: "government cock won't suck itself."
Won't it?
I didn't think government was that flexible.
Apropos of nothing, I've come up with a new useless phrase: The Locutus position.
You're right, that is...completely useless.
It's like the lotus, but more Borgy.
That makes perfect sense.
Use it during Transcendental Assimilation.
"Resistance is Futile... Ommmmmm!"?
Om resisti futile h?m.
Obturatio resisti! Obturatio resisti!
That'll be in the next stimulus.
Reading.. I'm still not quite sure what the fuss is all about.
Baddies got taken out?
You are a sub-par new sockpuppet. Fuck off.
Uh, DARK SKINNED baddies.
If you're gonna have dark skinned baddies, you better supplement with dark skinned hotties.
Most telling. We don't need no stinking trials. We is the law here.
In ~25 years in bidness, etc., I've found most local reporters (TV even more than print) to be largely breathless idiots who were incurious, un knowledgeable, and reliably misquoted people (in print).
This is utterly unsurprising. The surprise would be if Muffy questioned the authoritahs, and presented some context. "ZOMFG! Look at the cool action shots!!11!" is Local TV101.
YMMV
PS What is this, National "Cop Shoots Dog" Story Day? This is about the 6th or 7th one. For a website called REASON....
Does that activate the drinking game clause even though it was done sarcastically? Because I could use a drink after today's group of stories, and I need an excuse.
Ohhhh, was I being SARCASTIC? Well EXCUSE ME for being SARCASTIC. I wouldn't want to be SARCASTIC and invoke the DRINKING GAME by ACCIDENT.
/sobriety
People love violence, and they love being on the side that's handing out violence. It's exciting.
In every war in history, either one or both sides was completely morally in the wrong. But every war produced poetry, and every war produced young women breathless about the excitement of it all. The justice or lack thereof of the cause never had anything to do with it.
Right, so you love war and violence. Go on...
Leave Jane Fonda out of this.
So, is Gertler the Jesse Pope of the drug war? She seems about as talented.
The endless poetry...
+ 1 Lord Flashard
War is the father of all things.
Yeah, I remember CNN's Aaron Brown during the 2003 invasion being literally breathless over how impressed he was by all the boner-inducing footage of tanks driving on Baghdad and Basra.
Funny - I just remember my wife being tired a lot, and scared, same with my kids and definitely me too. I do not love violence, and what I did have to do has stayed with me in a bad way for years. I did write one poem, but it was about a nighttime helicopter trip, not violence or morality or rah-rah redwhitenblue.
Didn't we fight a civil war so that Alabama would stop doing shit like this?
No, we fought a civil war so the Federal Government could do it too.
I'll give props for that one, Paulperiod.
Speaking from personal Alabama experience, TV stations in this state see themselves as adjuncts in the Drug War.
You ain't kidding. They have a pro Drug War take on a local drug bust all the time, so I stopped regularly watching local TV news a long time ago. I'm just tune in every now and then for the weather.
Alabama is not so special, they pull the same shit in New York and Boston.
The Drug War never sounds quite as evil as when it's being advocated by a lunatic Southern sheriff.
Is there any other kind.
It even has its own trope.
So 100% of the reporters, police, onlookers were white.
100% of the alleged -- wait, they didn't even mention "alleged or accused" -- suspects (or "trash" according to the bystander) were black?
The "Trash" comment was the mayor, not the bystander.
A mayor for all the people aint he?
Well, after that, I'm sure she expressed her gratitude to at least one of those brave officers. And I'd be willing to bet handcuffs were used. She seems the sort.
Badge Bunny?
Yeah there is. Any criticism and the cops will stop taking the reporter along for the ride, and the reporter will soon be looking for work. For a while. I mean, who's going to hire someone who got fired for criticizing the police?
"That's a nice news organization you got there. Be a shame if something happened to it."
Think of how much money was invested in paying these assholes to investigate for a year an a half, let alone a hundred an fifty of them (no doubt on overtime) conducting the raid!
Fuck!
Tax dollars at work!
SHovel ready project.
Masked SWAT officers; I have seen them in action, in real life.
Chickenshit cocksuckers, in desert camo and ski masks; what in the fuck has happened to this country?
Good thing the law is on the job on the mean streets of Autaugaville.
One day, we'll have Iran handcuffed naked to chair in it's front yard. Metaphorically speaking...
I don't have to watch this. I am already aware that hickish local television operations are low budget, simplistic, and corny.
I got my one and only moving violation in 30+ years of driving in Autauga County (Prattville), Alabama.
71 in a 55mph zone. Prattville sucks but how else are you going to drive to Selma from Atlanta?
I am pretty sure there is no town named Autaugaville. It is Prattville, the county seat of Autuaga county.
Autaugaville is indeed a place, albeit small. Wiki puts the population at 870.