Paul Ryan

Barack Obama's Not the Only One You Can Win Dinner With

The Romney campaign's offering "a bite" with Paul Ryan. You want dinner buy a plate at a fundraiser!

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not cat food!

The Obama campaign has been raffling off dinners with the president throughout the campaign, holding the last of the raffles just yesterday. The efforts are useful in pumping up excitement and, most importantly, fundraising. But if "dinner with Barack" wasn't for you, the Romney campaign's taken a page out of the playbook. Of course you can't have dinner with Mitt Romney, who may or may not be a cyborg that doesn't actually eat, but you can "grab a bite" with his running mate Paul Ryan:

Friend,

Chatting with supporters like you over a good meal is one of my favorite parts of being on the campaign trail.

But with the warp speed we're at in the homestretch of this race—it doesn't happen as often as I'd like. That's why I hope you'll enter this contest for a chance to grab a bite with me.

As we get closer to Election Day, every bit of support will help us win this thing. We can't do it without you.

Donate $3 to be automatically entered: www.mittforpresident.com/donate/grab-bite-paul-ryan 

Thanks and good luck, 

Paul Ryan

Three dollars is the 2012 campaign's "can you spare a dime?" Inflation!

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  1. Almanian – 2012
    I’m Not Asking For Any Money
    And You Can Buy Your Own Damned Lunch
    And Sit Next To Me if You Want!

    Almanian – 2012
    Buy Ya Own Damn Lunch

  2. Does this include a forced P90X sesh for dessert?

    1. It’ll be far more awkward if you just sit there and watch.

      1. …and keep asking, “sooo ya’ gonna eat that?”

  3. This totally blows. I called Gary Johnson and he offered to give me $3 to have lunch with him and then go fight sharks at the beach. At the end of our afternoon, I pledged my vote to him. Good guy.

  4. I seriously doubt I would be able to sit across the table from any of these guys and eat…or for that matter sit there and not puke.

    1. Yeah, unless dinner includes an open bar…

      1. What other kind of dinner is there?

  5. The only reason I would enter contest to have dinner with Ryan or Romney would be for the opportunity to throw up all over them.

    -jcr

  6. How about “dinner” with John Huntsman’s Daughters?

    1. Looks like I SF’d it

      http://www.theblaze.com/storie…..moking-ad/

    2. Huntsman was a winner. The GOP is too fucking stupid to see it though.

      Obama 82% at Nate Silver. Romney is a fucking douchebag, John.

      1. “Huntsman was a winner.”

        Apparently not.

        1. Huntsman who?

    3. I always mix them up with the Santorum kids.

      Then I remember that Huntsman’s girls are hot, and Santorum’s are the ones with the BIIIIIIG foreheads.

      1. What’s the deal with Mormon gals, anyhow? Why are they so much hotter on average than fundamentalist Christian broads?

        1. The Mormon men have multiple wives so they have the luxery of wearing condomns with their ugly wives and not wearing them with their pretty ones. Just like breeding show dogs.

          1. Actually, if it’s a legitimate Mormon wife, the female body has ways of making beautiful daughters.

          2. Makes sense.

        2. Don’t know, but I can attest to this. I flew for SkyWest airlines out of Salt Lake. The flight attendants there were scorching hot.

          1. I have found that the smaller airlines have the hottest flight attendants. Gotta be a union seniority thing for the bigger airlines, right?

            1. Has to be. Unions ugly up everything they touch, including strip joints. Especially strip joints.

              1. If she has a weird shaped head and her sweat smells like kielbasa, bitch is union straight up.

            2. Gotta be a union seniority thing for the bigger airlines, right?

              Absolutely right. The regional airlines are entry level positions and therefore have younger (read hotter) flight attendants. But LDSer flight attendants were, for some reason, even hotter.

              1. Sixth grade, the second girl to sprout big boobs was an LDSer named Leslie. We treated her like a goddess. She was very pleasant to be around. The first though was a Scots-Irish redheaded whack job named Tara. Even better looking, but too scary and a mere ‘hi’ could set off a random kick in the nuts.

                1. Girls named after the O’Hara plantation are often hot.

                2. I’m already in love with your red headed fireball.

              2. Do you still fly? I’m going for my PPL. Some days I wish I had chosen a different career path, but I understand ATP or commercial pilots have weird ass schedules and lifestyles.

                1. I left military flying to do the airline thing in 98. Took me about 8 months to realize I didn’t want to live out of a suit case for the rest of my life. Went back to the AF.

                  Some guys love it, but I’m kind of a home body. Better to be deployed for a few months at a pop than to be gone all the time as part of your job.

                  When you are young, flying is cool as shit, but like anything, it eventually becomes just a job. I haven’t been in an airplane for two years and I don’t miss it at all.

                  On the other hand, my best friend flies F-15s for the Hawaii ANG and he loves it as much today as the day he started. So I guess it depends on the person.

                  1. Huh. It’s conventional wisdom that when you do what you love it’s the best thing ever. But what I’ve found is that it becomes tedious. I’m a chemical engineer and I get bored bored bored with it sometimes. But I absolutely love to do it on a nonprofessional basis. Put me behind a desk and it sucks donkey balls after a while. I can see the same thing happening with piloting, if I had tried it as a career.

                    1. I graduate next spring with a Chem degree and I am already sick of it. School has beaten every iota of love I had for the subject out of me.

                      I’ve actually been considering going back after a few years and getting a chem e degree. Do you think that would be a good move*?

                      *instead of grad school. i don’t want to do academia, but would rather start a business or go into industry.

                    2. If you really want to it can be very rewarding. Remember that chem E is very very different than chemistry. It’s more about scaleup and operational issues that lab stuff. You will learn a completely different set of lessons than Chemistry taught you. Eventually the most important thing is what service you can provide. Ch.E will teach you tons more about how to profitably make chemicals rather than the pure search for knowledge. Chem will get you a job in a lab or product R and D. Ch.E will position you to become a leader. Or just another cog. It’s up to you.

                    3. Do you think that would be a good move*?

                      Sure, if you want every iota of love you have for the subject kicked out of you.

                    4. That’s why I got into it. The job should be something you love. The jobs in the AF I enjoyed the most were the ones that gave me the most autonomy. Something to be said for you being the one calling the shots.

                      I’m an avid fly fisherman and I had a buddy who always thought it would be fantastic to be a river guide. I was always skeptical. When you turn it into a job, you are on someone else’s schedule and at their beck and call. Can’t think of a faster way to fuck up a passion than to turn it into a job.

                    5. thus ended your career as a fluffer?

                    6. Unless you’re like dunphy, whose passion is beating the shit out of people.

                    7. Never gets old, apparently.

  7. If you read the fine print in all of this, to make it not a “lottery”, legally they have to allow you to enter without giving them any money.

    http://www.mittromney.com/form…..-paul-ryan

    1. Thanks God – without these kinds of laws, we’d be a veritable SOMALIA, I tell ya.

    2. I don’t know about the rest of the states, but MittRyan seems to be following CA local laws. Some CA cities have have prohibited restaurants, like MacDonald’s, from promoting meals with toys. The workaround is that there’s no purchase necessary. Check this out, you can actually drive to every MacDonald’s in San Francisco, walk up to the cash register with your kid in tow and demand a toy without buying anything. I figure you could hit 20 to 30 MacDonald’s in a day and sell the booty on ebay for about $0.35.

  8. Holy Shit, David Rothkopf stops fellating Obama and anointed government Top Men long enough to declare that there’s a lack of world leadership, and it’s best exemplified by the U.N. General Assembly meeting this week:

    There are, we should acknowledge, real leaders out there — people creating new jobs, overseeing the development of new technologies, curing diseases, solving big problems. They just don’t happen to be the people causing most of the traffic jams in New York this week. So perhaps if we can’t get these people in town for the General Assembly to actually lead, we might do the next best thing and stop calling them what they are clearly not.

    If I knew Rothkopf was capable of thinking that governmental service was not mystically elevated above business and technological development, I might have held out hope for him over the years.

  9. I was half lisy

    1. OK, fuck you REASON squirrels.

  10. How about I donate $3 to my balls and you mail me a ramekin of mayo to dip ’em in?

  11. …Mitt Romney, who may or may not be a cyborg that doesn’t actually eat…

    “…who doesn’t actually eat.” You started with “who” and changed to “that”. Your microagression against cyborgs has been noted, Ed.

  12. can someone please repost that Korean girl group “Gangnam Style” video from yesterday? I had no idea what I was probably missing.

    1. That’s some dude rapper. This is what you want.

      1. Thank you for that.

      2. Thank you very much for that.

        And this is not spam, squirrel.

      3. The way those girls shimmy their bottoms is very reminiscent of Tom Tom Club performing live. All the girls (including Tina Weymouth) would have their backs to the audience and shaking for the entire refrain of “Wordy Rappinghood” (ay-yi-yi-yippy-o…)

      1. Yep. That’s the one.
        thanks.

        1. hth

  13. The Refs are back!
    http://deadspin.com/5946798/re…..is-weekend

    1. I have been reading the NFL rule book, no linky that I can get to work, google it yourself. It’s not as long as I expected, but it’s weirder. Rule 2, Section 1, Ball Dimensions:

      The ball must be a “Wilson”, hand selected, bearing the signature of the Commissioner of the League, Robert Goodell.

      1. While you are there, find out the difference between a “kicking” ball and a regular football. Some QB on TV the other day was bitching that the scab-ref had given him a kicking ball, which he felt was impossible to play with.

        1. They’re just balls that haven’t been broken in and are slicker.

  14. Who the heck would want to break bread with some pompous windbag, lying politician?

    http://www.PrivacyCrew.tk

    1. It is learning! It is evolving! Soon anonbot will be indistinguishable from human libertarians!

  15. Thought I’d share this little gem from the NYT opinion page:

    WHETHER you agree or disagree with President Obama, there is no doubt that he has formulated a coherent approach to the use of American power. The Obama Doctrine involves getting into a conflict zone and getting out fast without ground wars or extended military occupations. This approach proved its effectiveness in Libya last year.

    http://www.nytimes.com/2012/09……html?_r=0

    1. Being coherent, the most important part of war strategy —
      narrowly ahead of good grammar.

      By the way Cytotoxic, I just took my medicine Cytoxan tonight. Are you related?

    2. He’s like Sun Tzu 2: Electric Boogaloo! The newest take on war since…ever!

      1. That’s better than the Master Po ref I was thinking of, db. But I have video!

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5kBqrHphjo

    3. The Obama Doctrine involves getting into a conflict zone and getting out fast without ground wars or extended military occupations.

      Well, that certainly explains why casualties in Afghanistan skyrocketed during his reign.

    1. OTOH, the requirement for hands-free in CA led me to get a car with a built-in bluetooth, with the microphone near the windshield visor and the audio via the stereo speakers. It has taken away the least favorite part of talking on the phone to me, that is, holding something up to my ear. Now I don’t even mind taking a phone call when driving, while I despise being on the phone in my home or office.

      1. it’s a double standard, or more like a “whole bunch of standards”. hardly limited to the cops and notthecops(tm)

        (1) Except as provided in subsections (2) and (3) of this section, a person operating a moving motor vehicle while holding a wireless communications device to his or her ear is guilty of a traffic infraction.

        (2) Subsection (1) of this section does not apply to a person operating:

        (a) An authorized emergency vehicle, or a tow truck responding to a disabled vehicle;

        (b) A moving motor vehicle using a wireless communications device in hands-free mode;

        (c) A moving motor vehicle using a hand-held wireless communications device to:

        (i) Report illegal activity;

        (ii) Summon medical or other emergency help;

        (iii) Prevent injury to a person or property; or

        (iv) Relay information that is time sensitive between a transit or for-hire operator and that operator’s dispatcher, in which the device is permanently affixed to the vehicle;

        (d) A moving motor vehicle while using a hearing aid.

        1. definition of “emergency vehicle”

          Authorized emergency vehicle means any vehicle of any fire department, police department, sheriff’s office, coroner, prosecuting attorney, Washington state patrol, ambilance service, public or private, which need not be classified registered or authorized by the state patrol, or any other vehicle authorized in writing by the state patrol.

          1. The only group benefiting from the double standard that aren’t state minions is the private ambulance folks.

            I’m still comfortable that its ia double standard.

  16. prosecuting attorney

    say wha….????

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