Romney Releases Returns, More Protests in Pakistan, Counter-Protests in Libya: P.M. Links

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  1. Mitt Romney has released his 2011 tax returns. Enjoy picking over that.

    On a Friday afternoon??? Not even the news media will do that!

    1. He clearly released them on a Friday afternoon becasue he has soemthing to hide! T o n y said so herpittyderpderp…

      1. I do kinda hate the Friday afternoon drop though. Obama does that shit all the time.

        1. It gives everyone with nothing to do on a friday night something to look forward to though.

          1. It actually is a nice little “fuck you” to the media–he knows darn well they’ll now pore over his returns all weekend, and spoil whatever time off they had planned.

          2. I think there is some increasing anxiety in the r camp:

            Barack Obama to be re-elected President in 2012
            71.6% CHANCE
            Last prediction was: $7.16 / share
            Today’s Change: +$0.17 (+2.4%)

            http://www.intrade.com/v4/mark…..tId=743474

  2. Apple’s iPhone 5 hit the market today. In case you hadn’t heard.

    So when’s the iPhone6 being released?

    1. When the Fed needs a GDP boost.

    1. Does this model look plus-sized to you?

      Yes.

    2. No Fat Chicks

      I guess this is more your size?

      For the calories in/calories out crowd: She has to eat every 15 minutes because she cannot store fat. She eats 5,000 to 8,000 Calories a day and weighs less than 60 pounds (4 stone).

    3. Does this model look plus-sized to you?

      In the bewbs department, yes.

    4. 6 foot 2 and a size 12? Yeah, I’ll pass.

      I really don’t see the difference between hitting that and hitting a man. If you tried to spoon it, it would be like being in bed with Vince Wilfork.

      1. If you tried to spoon it, it would be like being in bed with Vince Wilfork.

        The things a player will do for a sack…

      2. If you tried to spoon it

        It time Snoo Snoo!!!

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0o5i2jUzMB0

    5. I think Robyn Lawley is really a case where you can honestly say “she’s not fat, she’s big boned.” Proportionately, she still looks healthy and below average.

      Something John and I would probably agree on for once.

    6. Honestly, I care a lot more about her height than her weight. She doesn’t seem overweight at all given her frame, but she’s too tall for my preference

  3. What’s an Iphone?

  4. Nevada left the union??

    1. Fixed already. Never mind.

  5. Pm links? You didn’t post that.

    1. Yeah, more like happy hour links.

      1. Not happy enough for us west coasters.

  6. The heads on easter island have bodies too

    1. That blows my mind

    2. Oh, fer fuck’s sake.

      It was hard enough to figure on a bunch of stone-agers moving those giant heads around. But they were actually moving around much more gigantic complete statutes?

    3. Naturally. Robots without bodies aren’t much use.

  7. Protests over Innocence of Muslims have turned deadly in Pakistan. Fifteen have been killed so far.

    Is that perceived to be a problem?

    1. It’s kinda like a case study in stupid: We’re pissed off at America over some youtube video no one watched until we allegedly pretended to be pissed off over it. So, to retaliate, we’ll burn American flags and end up killing 15 of our own idiot brethren.

      Wow, you guys really showed us. Keep doing what you’re doing.

    2. Unless, we know who these 15 were, it’s unfair to say that. They could have been innocent bystanders for all we know

  8. Protests over Innocence of Muslims have turned deadly in Pakistan.

    Better than the We’re Easily Manipulated Backward Fucks And We Can Prove It protests, I suppose.

  9. Apple’s iPhone 5 hit the market today. In case you hadn’t heard.

    “She was born in the 80’s. She still uses her phone as a phone!”

    1. I turned 30 today. I have a phone that I can only use as a phone.

      1. Happy birthday, weirdo. Is your phone avocado green and does it have a rotary dial? Do you pick up the receiver and ask the operator to give you KLondike5-1982?

        1. I’m trying to get myself into the habit of answering it with “Ahoy ahoy.”

      2. Congrats, I have you beat be a month and a day. You’re going to feel older and older every day. I actually had a second job interview yesterday and began wondering if this might be the last time I sit in an interview without them purposely disregarding me for my age.

        1. That’ll happen again when you are older.

        2. My wife’s the same age with some grey, whereas I had to grow a mustache just to look half my age. Thanks all for the well-wishes. I didn’t mean to troll for compliments, it just seemed apropos.

      3. I have a phone that I can only use as a phone.

        Me, too. Right on my desk at work. (Well, actually on the back of one of the orphans I use for office furniture, but you know what I mean).

        I have another “landline” at home, too. Need it for the cable box and the home security system (the one that doesn’t eat kibble by the truckload and crap all over the yard).

        1. No, this is the kind that you can carry around wherever you go, except I can’t bring it in to work with me. We don’t have a land line – I mean, we do, but we don’t use it.

  10. Where’s Waldo is only 25?
    That doesn’t seem right

    1. he’s easy to find. just look for him on his parent’s health insurance plan.

      1. You didn’t build that joke.

    2. I tried to google some Waldo/Carmen Sandiego slash fiction once, but I couldn’t find any.

  11. I have to double-post because I only got in the end of the Romney tax thread, but you people’s have to see the Gawker story on it, which calls them “basically made-up” because he overpaid. First graf:

    Mitt Romney has just released his long-awaited 2011 tax returns, and guess what? He deliberately overpaid his 2011 federal tax burden so he wouldn’t look like an avaricious plutocrat gaming the system. Which is just bizarre.

    The commenters do not fail to bring it. I am laughing/crying too hard to say more myself.

    1. And if he had taken all his legal deductions what would they be calling him?

      1. I don’t know, but I have to say, some people are…not good. From the article itself:

        In other words, Romney picked a tax rate and told his accountant to hit it. “Just get me somewhere north of 13% so people don’t get mad at me.” It’s just an accounting gimmick; numerical smoke and mirrors.

        Smoke and mirrors…oh, and, you know, a bunch of real. fucking. money. Like, a shitload of it.

        1. Zounds!! You mean to tell me a rich man can afford to hire an accountant that will find the loopholes and deductions needed to get to a certain threshold?

          Who could have seen that coming?

    2. Post some of the comments. I don’t have your masochistic capability to wade through that shit.

      1. Don’t track that all over reason‘s rug!

      2. First, let me say that I took a pledge to never visit Gawker again, which I broke because I knew this would be EPIC. Also, that I do this only for you.

        “Bet you 10,000 bucks that he files an amended return after Election Day (assuming, you know, nobody gives a crap about him anymore at that point).”

        “I believe he has three years to file an amended return and claim all of the appropriate deductions. I wonder if he’ll file a correction after the election.”

        “You know, the interest and penalties associated with the Offshore Voluntary Disclosure Initiative would really push the effective tax rate up a bit from his historic 10-15% range. I’m assuming that is the basis for his 20% etr.”

        On the apparently invalidity of Harry Reid’s statement that there were years in which Mittens paid nothing: “I disagree with this. If he had paid zero he would not have paid taxes. His campaign could make the statement “the lowest annual effective federal personal tax rate was 13.6%” a “0% personal tax rate” would not be effective.

        We will never know until they release the returns in their entirety.”

        1. Also: “So he lied when he said ‘I pay all the taxes owed and not a penny more.’

          “Maybe he’ll now follow his next thought: ‘I don’t think we want someone running for president who pays more taxes than he owes.'”

          1. Sorry, one more, my favorite: “It appears you missed the overall point of this post. There is no proof that he conspired with his accountant to get his rate up above 13%, but it’s a pretty big coincidence that it hit just at 14% and he gave up an assload of deductions. You can either assume he didn’t take advantage out of the goodness of his heart or that it was deliberate to make his tax rate more palatable to all us poors out there who he knew would be seeing it this year.”

            1. Thanks for braving the swamp, nicole. Their palpable need for him to have done something nefarious is very, very telling. BOOGEYMAN!!!

              1. They are so far past parody it’s amazing. I didn’t even get into the ones where they just claimed donating to the Church didn’t count as charity. That’s boring at this point. There are so many new and unexpected (but so boringly predictable) contortions beyond that!

                1. The “donating to the church is not charity” and the “these are faked” were my two guesses for the left reaction to this.

                  This is just pathetic.

                  1. I agree with the notion that deductions to churches usually aren’t really charity.

                    1. It is nice to know King Fluffy gets the final word on what is “charity”. I would say donations to a lot of things are not “charity” in my book. But who asked me?

                    2. I would personally be very interested in your views regarding what is and what is not charity.

                      But who asked me?

                      Fluffy did.

                2. The best part is their magical belief that he would do anything actually shady. He doesn’t have to; he just hires a ream of accountants and tax lawyers who make sure whatever they do is 100% legal. It’s not like there aren’t tons of loopholes they can use. But of course, instead of ROMNIAC being a run-of-the-mill asshole politician, suddenly he’s Lex Luthor.

                  1. Romney has a lot of flaws. But being a crook isn’t one of them. The idea that a duddly do right Mormon was some kind of mafia don level tax evader is beyond satire.

          2. “So he lied when he said ‘I pay all the taxes owed and not a penny more.’

            Somehow I think “Romney covered up tax overpayment” isn’t going to play the way that guy thinks.

            1. I wonder if these folks have heard of the Buffett Rule Act yet.

              1. The Buffett Rule is “All you can eat,” right?

                1. The act is a joke the Republicans in the House got passed to create a checkbox on tax forms so you can more easily donate extra to fedgov.

    3. But who amongst us is brave enough to wade into the Fark comments?

      1. For the nerds that frequent Fark, “lesser Americans” is an apt description.

  12. Unemployment rates rose in 23 states. Nevada leads with 12.1 percent.

    Another ugly side effect of Romney’s 47% mega-gaffe.

    1. No, it was clearly a result of his criticism of the Cairo statement.

  13. A new poll shows Americans trust the mass media less than ever.

    This is bad news… for Obama.

  14. A site for Jurassic Park toys nostalgia. BE SURE TO WATCH OUT FOR THE OFFICIAL “JP” LOGO!

  15. Around 30,000 Libyans marched through the eastern city of Benghazi on Friday in an unprecedented protest to demand the disbanding of powerful militias in the wake of last week’s attack that killed the U.S. ambassador and three other Americans.

    Thirty fucking thousand? If that number is anywhere near correct, holy hell.

    1. I’d be willing to bet that many of those folks are paid by the CIA or some such.

      It’s pretty tin foil-ie of me, but when our administration has gone above and beyond to blame a fucking YouTube video and absolve official policy of blame, I wouldn’t put anything past them.

      1. “Please don’t bomb the fuck out of us” wouldn’t get you motivated to march?

        1. Wouldn’t marching just cluster you together, making you easier to bomb?

    2. Well, if there were a sliver lining to the cloud that was Gaddafi it would be that he was a secular Arab socialist. Also, thanks to being such a ‘personality’, Libya was fairly isolated from both the Wahabi of House Saud and the Mullahocracy of Iran. Thus, less of the Libyan population got infected with the bat-shit crazy Islamist meme.

    3. And many are impatient with Ansar al-Shariah’s talk of imposing its strict version of Islamic law. The group’s name means “Supporters of Shariah Law.”

      No, the term Ansar is closer to this.

    4. That would be really impressive if they were all toting AKs.

    5. So I’m the only one not too cynical to find this genuine, impressive and heartening?

    6. But remember, according to people here, all of them are savages who want to kill Americans. You’d think libertarians of all people wouldn’t be so quick to stereotype and collectively judge other people

  16. The U.S. Postal Service has figured out how it’s going to survive. It’s going to send you even more junk mail.

    The 90’s. What a great era for junk mail. I never had to buy my own cologne nor blank CDs.

    1. I heat my home with junk mail.

      1. I heat mine with postal workers.

        1. I use mine to make jerky.

  17. This is fascinating:
    Singapore GP: How do you turn Marina Bay into an F1 street race?
    http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/formula1/19667126

    1. Way back in the 90s when I lived there, bringing F1 to Singapore was a big deal. They are always pissy about KL hosting one. Glad to see it made it.

      1. Austin TX (I know, Austin!?!) is getting an F1 track. So cool.

    1. Am I missing something? I can’t believe I watched the whole thing, but I can’t find anything unusually scary about it.

      1. Creepy, maybe? I don’t know, but the over the shoulder shot of the suspect and the haunting music and Stack’s narration were excellent.

  18. The U.S. Postal Service has figured out how it’s going to survive. It’s going to send you even more junk mail.

    If they do that my mailbox is going to explode, and not because Ken hit it with a baseball bat. Maybe that’s for the best. I wish I could get rid of my land mail like I did my landline phone.

    1. At one point in life, I got rid of my landline. I saved tons of money.

      Then I moved to the sticks where the ONLY form of “broadband” internet was fucking DSL, so I had to get a land line all over again. It’s fucking bullshit.

      1. That’s what you get for moving to the sticks. Too bad satellite “broadband” is still pretty slow.

        1. I hear WildBlue’s new satellites are much better. I live just outside the footprint of their highspeed coverage. Dammit.

          Fucking HughesNet is lagging like crazy. Bastards were supposed to have one for my area a couple of months ago.

          1. Once they have real broadband coverage almost everywhere and safe reactors (fission or fusion) that are small enough to be put in a house to power it, people could conceivably live and work remote from almost anywhere on the planet, even Antarctica. That should satisfy you sticks guys.

          2. This is what I got a couple of months ago. 12 mbps download is cool.

          3. Wildblue is good. I have it up in the mountains here in Colorado.

      2. I’d damn near kill for DSL right now. We’re on fucking wireless, which isn’t quite as shitty as satellite but close.

  19. Unemployment rates rose in 23 states. Nevada leads with 12.1 percent.

    So how’s whorehouse harry working out for you, bitchez!?

    On a serious note, I followed the link in that article and it says rates rose in 26 states and staid stagnant in 12.

    So 19 states got better? (57 – 26 – 12 = 19)

  20. Lowest rated season premier for The Office. Thanks for running out of entertainment NBC!

    1. As long as Community keeps going, I couldn’t give a shit about the rest of NBC’s lineup.

      1. I was told Community is going to suck without Dan Harmon

      2. I thought this was the last season?

          1. this is dated, but my understanding is that it’s this 8 and I’ll have to look elsewhere for Alison Brie

            http://articles.nydailynews.co…..cre-sitcom

            1. I’d like to propose a law banning the canceling of any show Alison Brie is in. Who’s with me?!?

              Also, NBC, hate to break it to you, but Revolution sucks. It’s barely not as awful as Terra Nova. So you’re canceling your best series and starting a crappy one. You guys are geniuses!

              1. Revolution? Six seasons and a movie!

              2. Maybe she could get work on BP’s new Star Trek: Orion Slave Girls series on HBO?

                1. I’ve already called her agent. Then the cops called me, I’m not sure why.

                  1. Well, shipping the fifty gallons of green skin-dye may have been the problem.

                    1. You assured me she would accept the role! I was just being proactive!

                    2. Your mistake was going through her agent. She prefers face-to-face meetings.

              3. “‘d like to propose a law banning the canceling of any show Alison Brie is in. Who’s with me?!?”

                Fuck Yeah!!

                http://img.flickkr.org/fvb/2010/01/Alison Brie/alison-brie-complex-04.jpg

                1. Squirrels. If you Google Image image her name, you get a picture of her licking an ice-cream cone.

      3. Man, I really, really want to love Community more than I do. I’ve watched every episode, and it’s a very smart show, with much of the same meta level comedy as Arrested Development.

        But I really get sick of the “look, a study group becomes a highly unlikely and exclusive clique of best friends then there is drama, then they always patch everything up at the end of the episode with some absurdly cheesy resolution about how much they mean to each other.” They really should lay off the excessive, gross, fuzzy cheese and stick with the hilarious comedy.

        1. Still, it’s probably the best non-animated comedy on TV, although Parks and Recreation has its moments too.

  21. A new poll shows Americans trust the mass media less than ever.

    Not that I don’t trust that poll, but how much do Americans trust polls?

    1. Postal inspectors deliver the mail now?

      1. They do when they’re trying to entrap someone for pot possession.

  22. Unemployment rates rose in 23 states. Nevada leads with 12.1 percent.

    So rates fell or stayed flat in more than half of the states. Everything’s coming up Milhouse!

  23. Cop hits pedestrian with car mirror and proceeds to pull a gun on the man when he gets pissed off.

    FTA: Montgomery County Police have not suspended or disciplined the officer involved in the incident, Starks said, and University Police spokesman Capt. Marc Limansky declined to identify the individual in question because the department did not make any arrests.

    Of course not. Pulling a gun on somebody who throws a water bottle at your car because you fucking hit him with it is a perfectly sane and reasonable reaction.

    1. Officer fucked up. He left witnesses.

    2. One witness said the officer seemed belligerent and overly aggressive, but according to Limanksy, the statements taken on the scene conflict with each other.

      I’m sure they do. Opinion is undoubtedly divided: The officer says he didn’t not act belligerently, everyone else says he did.

  24. But as the Postal Service embraces direct mail to shore up its faltering bottom line, it faces opposition. Cities struggling to pay recycling and landfill costs to dispose of billions of pieces of unwanted mail are objecting to the expense. Localities estimate that they spend about $1 billion a year to collect and dispose of it.

    Sounds like a perfect jobs program, with a multiplier effect and everything.

    1. I have a plan to turn junk mail into fuel.

      1. I hope it’s jet fuel.

        1. Nah, it’s a little more steampunk.

    1. Those look like thumbprints. When he goes down on her, she clamps her legs and asphyxiates the guy. In the struggle to live he leaves those bruises. Lucky bastard.

        1. Proof positive pussy eating asphyxiation has been Goldblum’s fetish for well over twenty years and counting. Likely doesn’t have enough brain cell material left to rub two synapses together at this point.

          1. Just remember: He was engaged to Geena Davis and Laura Dern.

            1. Strong thighs there.

    2. 59 years old, dating a 29-year-old former Olympic gymnast? I should’ve taken acting lessons.

  25. J.P. Morgan and Bank of America claim their sites were attacked by the Iranian government, which then used the anger over Innocence of Muslims as a cover story

    It’s a cover story the Obama administration is handing them, with a ribbon on it.

  26. David Suzuki still hasn’t figured out what an “externality” is

    Dr. Suzuki recites his oft-repeated claim that “economics is a form of brain damage” and here adds the allegation that economists “know damn well” that we deliberately deceive people into thinking economics is a science when in fact all we want to do is torch the planet for sweet, sweet cash.

    1. When did Suzuki turn into such an angry little man? An angry, angry little man.

    2. all we want to do is torch the planet for sweet, sweet cash.

      Wait, wait, wait. I can get paid for this?

  27. Eternally speaking, there is only one means and there is only one end: Private plane Wendy’s. This is how we do.
    Kim Kierkegaardashian

    My life is infinitely better now that I know this exists.

  28. Man jumps into tiger cage at Bronx Zoo, gets mauled.

    1. What a dipshit. I can’t believe he lived. Though if that were a suicide attempt*, well, that’s actually a pretty badass way to go.

      *I doubt it, because he apparently rolled under a wire to escape at the direction of the zoo staff.

  29. Oh, for all the people who were talking about how there’s no over the top hero-worship in the Republican campaigns, there’s this little gag-inducing pronouncement from Ann Romney:

    it’s an important thing that we’re doing right now and it’s an important election and it is time for all Americans to realize how significant this election is and how lucky we are to have someone with Mitt’s qualifications and experience and know-how to be able to have the opportunity to run this country.

    1. Is it wise for any politicion to self-reflect and/or clamor for the chance to “run the country”? I don’t think Obama would even go there. His fans? Probably, but him, or his crazy-assed public-healthifyin’ wife?

      1. I don’t like the attitude that led to this, but it’s a common enough expression for what the president does.

    2. Its his wife, for crying out loud. Gag-inducing, maybe, but I don’t really count it as hero worship if it comes from a family member or a paid flack.

      1. Frankly, given the love for Obama on some metaphysical level that’s never been about experience, qualifications, or aptitude, this sounds almost rational to me.

      2. Oh please, can you imagine the response from the usual suspects if Michele Obama told everyone that they ought to be more thankful to have her husband running the country?

        1. I have to say, the term “run the country” sticks in my craw.

            1. THAT i agree with, but the point about it being his wife is also true. it’s in no way shape or form analogous to the obama cult of personality worshiip from people like S-Jo etc.

        2. Well, it’s different in one important respect: We know Michelle’s husband sucks at running the country. I actually don’t think Mitt will be a bad President from the standpoint of your actual average citizen. For us, yes, he would be terrible.

          Now insert standard libertarian disclaimer regarding 1) “running the country” 2)Dems and GOP being two different colored soda pops.

          But Mitt Romney has a shitload of actual competence at being a day to day executive. This cuts both ways. If he sets out to do evil (which is very possible) it means he probably is going to accomplish it. But conversely it means the basic, day to day stuff, is going to run smoothly. Like, if he decides to arm the Mexican drug cartels, well….his guns will have GPS trackers and the drones will be bombing the crap out of said guns as soon as the cartel takes delivery.

          So, you know…evil but competent….maybe, just maybe.

          1. But Mitt Romney has a shitload of actual competence at being a day to day executive.

            Does he? He may be good at choosing companies to invest in, but I don’t see where he was ever really in the position of running one.

            1. Well, you know….Bain Capital is a company. That he ran. Or at least was a high executive in.

              Look, I don’t really like the fundraising pitch, but competence is not something Mitt Romney is lacking. I’m very concerned about what he would do with that competence, but it’s most definitely there.

              1. Being a businessman has nothing to do with being president. They’re two completely different jobs, and you can be very competent at one and very incompetent at the other

                1. Eh, I think competence carries over to some extent. Of the competent people I know, most of them would be competent at whatever they did. Competence to me springs from:

                  1)Intelligence. If you’re not smart, you’re not going to be competent.
                  2) Work Ethic. You can learn to do anything, but you have to put the work in.
                  3) Judgement. If you can surround yourself with competent people, then you’re already halfway there.

                  I think Mitt has those qualities. They’re polar opposites, him and Obama. Obama is breathtakingly incompetent. It’s a rightwing talking point, but it’s true. He’s never in his life been responsible for anything, and then he’s the guy in charge of the biggest organization in the country. His failure was inevitable. On the other hand, I wonder what exactly the enigma that is Mitt Romney wants to do with the federal government if he wins the popularity contest.

                  I find Mitt to be an admirable man in almost every aspect of his private life. The only problem I have with him is his search for political power, which I find suspect at the best of times. Right now, I think the only person who would want the job would be someone who relishes the challenge of saving a collapsing entity, or someone who wished to ride the wave of chaos for his own ends. I’m far too cynical to believe that he’s the former, but it is possible, I suppose.

        3. “Barack is one of the smartest people you will ever encounter who will deign to enter this messy thing called politics.”

      3. . . . I don’t really count it as hero worship if it comes from a family member or a paid flack.

        And it sure is a far cry from posing for photos with pro-Obama messages written in Sharpie on your hands.

    3. Her plane apparently just almost crashed.

      Imagine the shitstorm at Gawker if Ann Romney died in a car crash and Mitt got to be the grief-stricken husband at a funeral 5 weeks before the election.

      1. Are you suggesting that Mittens had one of his goons cut the brake lines?

      2. The plane made an emergency landing after the cabin filled with smoke. I didn’t know Cheech and Chong were Romney supporters.

        1. They’re not. Get it?

      3. They’d be pissed off at him for pretending not to be as soulless as they know he is.

        That reminds me that Joe Biden lost family in a car crash. So now I don’t hate him as much right now.

    4. You had to dig a quote from his wife to make your lame ass case everyone is as bad as the Obamabots? That’s pathetic.

  30. Anyone know the current percentage of the American work force that is directly employed by government (federal, state, local breakdown would be nice) and maybe even contractors indirectly employed?

    1. Answer from a guy who put it together onfreerepublic from the Census Bureau.

      Number of Full-Time Federal Employees – 2,518,101 Part-Time – 250,785 Full-Time State – 3,818,577 Part-Time – 1,451,002 Full-Time Local – 11,039,250 Part-Time – 3,383,976

      http://www.freerepublic.com/fo…..6363/posts

  31. Dude sure does like to talk a LOT of smack!

    http://www.AnonFolks.tk

  32. “Unemployment rates rose in 23 states. Nevada leads with 12.1 percent.”

    Such bias. Why not say unemployment did not increase in TWENTY SEVEN states?

    1. I was told there would be no math.

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