Embassy Attacks

U.S. Diplomats to the Muslim World Tweet About Wind Power, Fast Food, and (Appropriately!) Killing Time

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Has significantly better throwing motion than Ryan Zimmerman

Speaking of questionable U.S. embassy tweets, I took a tour last night of how our taxpayer dollars are being spent on diplomatic social media throughout the Muslim world. Aside from the serial video-apologetics, there were these head-scratchers:

U.S. Embassy Tashkent, Sept. 11:

US #economy adds jobs for 30th straight month, growth that supports the country's continued recovery. http://goo.gl/ijCeg  @USDOL

U.S. Embassy Abu Dhabi, Sept. 15:

#Wind power has plenty of potential and little risk as an energy source for the future.http://goo.gl/aukBX  #science #sustainability

U.S. Embassy Nigeria, Sept. 15:

Contrary to popular belief, Americans do not eat fast food every day http://goo.gl/mLFc9 

U.S. Embassy Kuwait, Sept. 11:

Idiom of the week: "To Kill time" : To waste time, consume time.

The most ridiculous diplomatic Twitter feed I found belonged to Ambassador to Albania Alexander A. Arvizu, but excerpts cannot do that kind of poetry justice.

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  1. Contrary to popular belief, Americans do not eat fast food every day

    “So fuck you, Nigeria. You’re the one who’s fat.”

  2. “Contrary to popular belief, Americans do not eat fast food every day”

    Obviously the State Department folks in Lagos have never seen Michael Moore or Karen Lewis.

  3. “US #economy adds jobs for 30th straight month, growth that supports the country’s continued recovery.”

    Embassy in Tashkent being rented out to OFA?

    1. They have to keep the $3 donations coming in.

    2. Is shameless Uzbek propaganda.

  4. How come no one throws that stuff like Kent Tekulve or Jenny Finch?

    1. I have no idea how Tekulve ever threw a strike. I guess if you feel natural with that throwing motion, as you get older you develop accuracy? But that is one ugly pitch. Also, an ugly man.

      1. He’s on the post game show now for Root Sports in Pittsburgh. Since I typically only watch stuff like that after wins, I haven’t seen much of it lately. But, he strikes me as not being as painfully gut, intuition, and old school as some other baseball talking heads.

        1. He was on the 1979 World Series team with Willie Stargell, Dave Parker, John Candelaria, Phil Garner, et. al. I was a Reds fan at the time, but man what a great team. Probably the last time I cared about baseball.

        2. Well, he has been a paid scout for the Pirates so his opinions tend to be more fact based and well analyzed than those of folks who have never had a paycheck ride on being right about anything.

    2. It’s likely some submariners will get involved in this before it’s all over.

      1. Well played.

        I think they’ll have results similar to this pitched ball.

  5. Wow. Just wow.

  6. “US #economy adds jobs for 30th straight month, growth that supports the country’s continued recovery.”

    Wow. Not so much of a headscratcher Matt. George Krol is a very successful career diplomat. He has been getting plum jobs under both D and R administrations. That kind of success requires mucho ass-kissing.

  7. I think the Administration stole the plans for my random tweet generator from the patent office. I feel just like Harry Stamper.

    1. I’m surprised the USPTO hasn’t issued a patent for the concept of choosing a government via majority vote to one of the major parties already. It’s not like prior art means anything anymore.

  8. Have you guys ever met anyone who works at State? The entire agency is filled with the special little snowflakes of America’s upper classes. This is par for the course for them.

    1. “Skilled” government bureaucrats are the tulip bulbs of the 21st century. Their time is coming.

      1. The people at State are incredibly naive and sheltered.

        1. You’d think mixing with the corrupt and the barbarous would further their educations, but I guess not.

          1. They don’t mix with the corrupt and barbarous. They stay in fancy hotels and embassies and live a fantasy life. Imagine living your life in an episode of No Reservations.

            1. They don’t mix with the corrupt and barbarous.

              Don’t they meet with government officials and diplomats?

    2. Some of the USAID folks I met in Afghanistan were made of sterner stuff – and some of the security folks are OK. Most of the rest, I have no particular use for.

      1. I always liked the USAID people. But the State people always struck me as stupid little rich kids out trying to save the world.

        1. Save the world? You mean maintain an upper-class lifestyle without ever having to produce anything or justify yourself?

  9. I suppose it’s just coincidence that they chose the idiom of the day with the word “kill time” in it on the same day the ambassador got killed. The Kuwaiti cops need to drag the Kuwait ambassador at midnight for some voluntary questioning.

    1. “Contrary to popular belief, killing time doesn’t mean striking RPGs at our embassy.”

  10. So the Kuwaiti embassy sends out a tweet about killing time, and a bunch of nutters take them seriously.

    “The pigdog infidels say its time to kill, or to kill time, who can understand their heathen tweetering. Its killing time! To the embassy!”

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