Police

Brickbat: Mitch? Mike? Close Enough

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When Mitch Torbett applied for a construction permit in Tennessee, authorities ran his driver's license number and told him there was a federal arrest warrant out for him. Torbett told them the warrant must be for his deceased twin brother Mike. Local police arrested him anyway. But they released him two days later after figuring out the warrant really was for his dead twin brother.

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  1. “If they would’ve trusted me, if they would’ve given me the benefit of the doubt, if they would’ve done that, none of this would’ve happened,” Mitch Torbett says.

    Also: if your twin brother wasn’t a big douche who gave your name instead of his.

  2. Associating with a known felon. I’m surprised they released him anyway.

    Good morning, Hit ? Run!

    1. An ampersand? However did you do that, you clever thing?

      1. I don’t think his ? is that clever…

      2. You should use this one anyway:
        ?

        1. Show up as a blank box.

      3. ?AN amperstand! ?However did you do that? (FTFY)
        As much as I ? my head on the desk, it makes no ?. Peace and ? must be the answer because ? of us can’t do that. Better ? ? or at least ? it before someone else does. You must be some kind of ? to know these thing. This comment fell ? because I am not as ? as I think I am.

        1. Please report to ? 7G for your reprogramming.

        2. Will my Mac let me have a piece of the ? or not?

        3. I don’t get the Yen part.

          1. Too early, no breakfast. I thought it was wrong,I meant zen. (le sigh).

  3. It’s about time someone rebooted the Weekend At Bernie’s and Parent Trap franchises.

    1. What about Twins 2, like I’ve been promised!

    2. How about the Parent Trap twins (all grown up) crossed with a female prison flick?

      1. I’ll be in my bunk.

      2. They would be what, about 65 now?

        Unless you meant the newer version, in which case you could just call it The Lindsey Lohan Story.

  4. You’d think with all the awesome ploice state techy gadgets they have now it would take about 36 minutes, not hours, to show the fingerprints didn’t match.

    1. Maybe he had an evil goatee and cops thought they captured the evil brother.

  5. Law enforcement needs to take its incarcerations more seriously. If you’re going to remove someone’s freedom, even if only for a day and a half, you have a duty to be certain you have the correct person.

    1. Well they’re not going to, so cram it with walnuts.

    2. Either that or they should split the police funding straight down the line (capped at current rates plus a small inflationary factor) with the public defender’s office. Separate crime labs, separate people, actually have paid officers (or better yet, farm it out to PIs) to dig up evidence counter to the police’s story. We talk about having che ks and balances in our government but one area in which this is sorely lacking is in policing and prosecution.

      Maybe a good billionaire out there will get the idea and develop a foundation to support this kind of thing. Unfortunately, things like the Innocence Project tend to get the most egregious cases that have gone on for years or have the highest stakes (capital crimes) and they don’t have the resources to go after the ubiquitous smaller abuses of state power.

  6. I’m testing a comment written in an English script.
    The symbols ? and ? are being tested as ampersands.
    They both show up correctly in Preview.

    1. The first one appears as a blank orange bordered box to me.

      1. Both FF and IE render correctly on my PC.

    2. So is 8/27/12 about to become the day of the rogue ampersands? If you can smuggle in an ampersand what’s next?

      1. Outsourcing commenting. O3 is the test program. He’s actually a quite nice fellow in Bangalore struggling with his limited English to troll the board for his paymasters.

        1. Death ? Destruction will plague us all.

  7. True story: I was once detained (in handcuffs, sitting on the ground in a parking lot), because one of my older brothers had once used my name as an alias, so an arrest warrant for him would show up when the cop ran my ID. They didn’t arrest me or take me to jail though. I just had to sit in the parking lot in handcuffs for 1? hours until my brother’s probation officer showed up to verify that I wasn’t him. That night turned out to be a pretty lousy first date.

    1. My first date, I was screwing the girl on top of the car by a local lake that’s behind a housing development. I had my pants down around my ankles when she starts to react to something. A cop car rolls down the hilly road in front of us and I pull back from her and wind up falling. The cop is laughing his ass off as I get my pants up. He asks for my license, sees it, says, ‘hey, you’re John’s little brother. I haven’t seen you since you were little. We use to have parties back here. Watch yourself though, car thieves like to come out this way to strip down autos.’ So, my brother is kind of like the opposite of yours. Saved my ass from trouble.

      1. This wasn’t my first date ever, just with that particular girl. We were making out on the beach. The small park where this beach was located closed at sunset, so the cop decided to harass us for being there at midnight. After he handcuffed me he called the girl’s mom to come pick her up. He also threatened me with being charged with statutory rape since she was 17 and I was 18 (which is perfectly legal in Florida, but who could expect a cop to know the law?). Her mom didn’t want her dating me anymore, and didn’t believe that it was a mistake; she was convinced I must have been some kind of criminal.

        1. The small park where this beach was located closed at sunset,

          When park attendance is outlawed, only outlaws will attend parks.

          Just another one of the tiny policy decisions that add up to the retarded situation the Modern American finds himself stuck in.

  8. hmmm . . .
    wha?

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