Brickbat: Rabbit Season


North Haven, Connecticut, zoning officials sent the Lidsky family a cease-and-desist order because they were keeping "livestock" on a property smaller than two acres. The livestock was the family's pet rabbit. After local and national media picked up the story, however, North Haven officials said they will change the zoning ordinance so the family can keep the bunny.

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  1. North Haven zoning commissioner Alexandra Forrest said that she had spent a lot of time recently with Mr. Lidsky and that the rabbit would no longer be an issue.

    1. Sounds a little ominous doesn’t it?

    2. Commissioner Forrest decided to keep the rabbit, she named it Stu.

  2. Could have been worse – the city could have shot the bunny in self-defence

    1. Shoot the wabbit! Shoot the wabbit!

  3. “Bwa-a-ha! Give me the rabbit, little girl. I want you to watch me kill it so you’ll know never to fuck with government again. Give it. Open your eyes. You’re going to watch this; it’s for you own good. Stop crying! Ordinance 87, section 3 means I can arrest you if you cry why I’m killing a pet in front of you. Haw-haw. You got blood all over you. Rabbit blood constitutes a biological hazard. Here’s a fine under 43.6. Don’t get blood on that! That’s a finable offense. Now get out of here. No, you can’t burying your unauthorized livestock under 26.7. What did I tell you about crying? The rabbit will be incinerated at your expense and the ashes disposed of properly. Go on, get. And the mikes in your bedroom better not pick up any crying.

    Goddamn, I feel great. I’m going to go find a dog to shoot and make this a perfect day.”

    1. once again you indulge in a hysterical fantasy unmoored from reality. There is no way a caring city official would order the bunny incinerated at her expense. That would contribute to global warming. Instead she would be required to turn it into mulch and apply it to the local First Lady-inspired organic vegetable patch

      1. He has it incinerated to power the North Haven police cars, which run on the ashes of children’s murdered pets.

        I guess they do it differently in Kangaroolandia.

        1. what are cars? Our police ride on horses. Also, we like dead rabbits*

          * fun fact – my mother knew the guy who invented myxamatosis. He famously injected himself with it to prove that it was safe for humans

          1. Awe, you think kangaroos are horses.

          2. Our myxomatoid kids spraddle the streets, we’ve shunned them from the greasy-grind
            The poor little things, they look so sad and old as they mount us from behind
            I ask them to desist and to refrain
            And then we call upon the author to explain

            1. Burroughs?

              1. Nick Cave… like Burroughs, but with better hair.

                1. and more impressive bugger grips

                  here is a lovely picture of him. Sadly he shaved


                  1. The evilest of all possible men.

          3. * fun fact – my mother knew the guy who invented myxamatosis. He famously injected himself with it to prove that it was safe for humans

            Invented it? I thought it was a disease, essentially “bunny conjunctivitis.”

            1. yep, good pickup, that was sloppy. Frank Fenner investigated it and I think found a nice ‘n’ nasty strain that killed quickly. He also was one of the key guys in the eradication of smallpox

  4. Looks to me like fatbunny needs to get away from the lowfathearthealthywholegrain diet.

  5. To be fair, rabbits can be pretty dangerous.

      1. Wow, that easter bunny is clearly homicidal.

    1. Good point. Has anyone checked to see if the vegetables in the area have been drained of their juices?

    2. That’s not a dangerous rabbit,

      This is a dangerous rabbit

    3. Oh Jesus Christ.

      THIS is a killer rabbit

  6. General Woundwort is not going to be happy about this.

  7. “I warned you but did you listen to me? ? Ooh no, you “nut uhed” didn’t ya!” Oh its just a harmless lil’ bunny isn’t it”


  9. We’re gonna catch a fox rabbit, and cut his tail off.

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