Campaigns/Elections

White House Quietly Removes Obama Boasts from Other Presidential Bios (CORRECTED: No they didn't)

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Relatively speaking, this was a terrible idea.

CORRECTION: I need my eyes checked. The Obama infoboxes are still there, but they appear to have been redesigned to look less like part of the other presidents' biographies. My apologies for the temporary blindness.

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It appears as though the White House has decided that maybe the official biographies of other presidents are not the best place to campaign for President Barack Obama's reelection.

In May, several folks took note that the White House's web site had quietly added USA Today-style factoids promoting Obama's accomplishments at the bottom of the biographies of other presidents, Democrat and Republican alike. The discovery caused a small flurry of negative publicity and a parody Tumblr by the GOP. (Which, disappointingly, they did not sustain. They finally did something actually funny and sharp with viral potential, but they couldn't stick with it.)

But as quietly as the Obama boasts appeared, they have been removed. The bullet points are now gone from all the biographies on the White House's website. But that's okay; there appear to be plenty of other tone-deaf campaigns coming out of the Obama administration, like asking us to praise our king wish Daddy Obama a happy Father's Day.

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  1. When Washington did not tell a lie and confessed his sin to his father, it was President Obama who urged him to do the right thing.

    1. It was actually President Obama that drafted the Emacipation Proclamation and urged Lincoln to sign it.

      1. But did he help Lincoln kill all those vampires?

        1. We’ll have to wait until the movie comes out to find out.

          1. Saw “Prometheus” the other day and the Abe Lincoln flick was the top preview. It looks idiotic.

            1. You don’t say.

            2. It will either be idiotic, or it will be awesome, but I seriously doubt it will be anywhere else in between. We’ll have to wait to hear about it.

              1. Either way I’m sure it will be better than Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter which is one of the few movies where I just gave up watching after fifteen minutes. The only other movie I just stopped watching was this Peter Jackson puppet flick.

                1. You stopped watching Meet the Feebles?!? What the hell is wrong with you?

                  1. It’s fucking horrid. I tried several times in various states of altered consciousness. The furthest I got was when I was tripping balls, but my attention span wasn’t long enough to continue.

                2. My wife and I tried to watch JC: Vampire Hunter. You made it further than we did.

          2. it creates the possibility for the History Channel to merge with ScyFy. John Quin(t)cy Adams in Jaws 1800

            1. When Ancient Aliens attempted to invade at the first thanksgiving, it was a time travelling Obama that stopped them.

              Obama [punching alien in the face]: “Welcome to Earf!”

  2. “Just as George Washington was the father of his country over a 100 years ago Barack Obama is our father now”

    1. That was a great line from the first installment of the Matrix trilogy!

  3. When Lincoln freed the slaves during the Civil War, he did so in anticipation of President Obama freeing the gays in 2012.

    1. Shit, I need to read more before commenting.

  4. Obama helped Ike plan D-Day.

    1. Don’t forget to mention that he fought in it too- and took out several strategic nazi gunner positions- using his teeth to pull the grenade pins.

      1. Not quite using HIS teeth, but he did make the GUTSY CALL to have other people use their teeth to pull the pins, and risk their lives rushing the machine guns head on. …with GUTSY delegation of the decision to a flag officer, so there would be a scapegoat if things went to shit.

        1. I just looked at the famous Iwo Jima photo, and I could swear that it’s Obama there, trying to pull down the flag.

          1. So he’s really not the skinny noodle-armed wuss that he appears! It took four Marines to overcome his strength.

  5. As Peter Suderman noted recently, the times there was only one set of footprints, President Obama was carrying us….

    1. Fuck me with Sugar Free’s dick….maybe this will work…

      https://reason.com/blog/2012/05…..een-one-se

      1. [Jabba laugh]

        1. I believe the correct phrase is, [fat chortle]

          1. No, after the Jabba laugh comes this guy’s laugh.

  6. Obama, more than even Bono, focused the world’s attention on Kenya.

    1. Of Obama and Bono had a baby- let’s name it Obamono- certain people would sacrifice animals to it. But, Obama would stop them- because he’s that benevolent and cool.

      1. Sounds like an Obama-nation.

      2. He’d stop it at the urging of his animal rights supporters, and substitute human babies at the urging of his abortion-loving supporters.

    2. Obama doesn’t have the big sunglasses, though. OTOH Bono doesn’t have the big ears.

  7. Plus, it was great when President Obama helped Al Gore invent teh interwebz.

  8. When Teddy Roosevelt decided not to kill that bear, it was only after a fully convincing argument from Obama. Teddy bears should actually be called Barry Bears, but he’s too modest for that.

    1. And what is Marion Barry, chopped liver?

        1. Well, at least he got drugs off the streets.

          1. I think that was his campaign slogan when got out and ran for city council.

            1. An honest politician! That’s what America needs!

              But seriously, his racist tirades have made me laugh more than anything else I’ve ever heard any politician say.

          2. Well, at least he got drugs off the streets…..and into his hotel room.

            You know that the bitch set him up.

  9. Remember when we won the Space Race? That was Obama.

    1. Are you saying black people are fast? Racist.

      1. What are you talking about? Obama is white.

        1. Are you saying Obama is half-fast?

          1. O is the “Boss”. He is The Fastest Fascist.

            (Hopefully someone else has read A Wrinkle in Time.)

            1. I kept hoping the kids in that book would get eaten by The Black Thing.

              Which, come to think of it, is RACIST.

    2. Then Obama nuked the Berlin Wall from orbit.

    3. You’re getting Obama confused with some other black guy

  10. White House Quietly Removes Obama Boasts from Other Presidential Bios

    Why “quietly”? This should go on his list of accomplishments.

  11. George Lucas came up the the Chewbacca character only after Obama shaved his pubes, glued them to Michelle’s face, and sent Lucas a picture.

    1. Mountain Dew hurts when you snort it through your nostrils…

      1. Get the Throwback. Not as bad.

  12. Wasn’t he the One that said “Emperor Qin Shi Huang, tear down this wall”? He’s a collosal failure!

    1. I donno. Parting the waters is still a pretty good trick.

  13. Chuck Norris doesn’t let Obama’s calls go to voice mail!

  14. Teddy Roosevelt said “speak softly and carry a big stick.” Abraham Lincoln said “it is better to be thought a fool, and remain silent, than to speak up and remove all doubt.”

    Today, Barack Obama instructed his staff to compare his meager accomplishments to previous presidents, then backtracked when he realized it was making him a laughingstock.

    1. He really should give himself more credit. He was well on the way to being a laughingstock, without their help.

    2. Or, per the update, he didn’t realize it made him a laughingstock after all.

  15. Dumber than Carter . . .

  16. Merry Father’s Day, King Barack!

  17. By the seventh day God completed His work which He had done, and He rested on the seventh day from all His work which He had done.

    Similarly, President Obama enjoyed a game of golf after having signed the historic Affordable Care Act.

  18. I really am so excited to watch the post-administration back stabbing and under the bus throwing vengeance that Obama’s surrogates will throw out after he’s gone.

    A guy with this kind of ego has had to have pissed off a decent sized chunk of people on staff that will be ready to grind that axe like there’s no tomorrow.

    Should be a hoot.

    1. Yes! I too hope for a joyous Christmas season!

  19. Obama accepted Cornwallis’ sword at the battle of Yorktown.

    1. …in his favorite homoerotic dream…

  20. The heartening aspect of this news is that maybe the government really is too incompetent to every get a full police state dystopian society in place. They are just too clumsy with the propaganda. In fact, this kind of clutzy stupidity makes me hope Obama wins another term, since no one really takes him seriously.

  21. Here’s the problem, none of you paid attention to David Broooooks’ admonition. Heed your betters. Deploy your asses. Accept greatness.

  22. Lyndon Johnson signed the Voting Rights Act into law, in 1965, to end the disenfranchisement of African-Americans and end intimidation by Whites at the polls. In 2010, President Obama’s lackey, Eric Holder, helped to bring this full-circle, by allowing armed African-Americans to intimidate and threaten Whites at the polls with impunity.

  23. The discovery caused a small flurry of negative publicity and a parody Tumblr by the GOP. (Which, disappointingly, they did not sustain. They finally did something actually funny and sharp with viral potential, but they couldn’t stick with it.)

    TEAM Red: Snatching defeat from the jaws of victory since 1854.

    1. Hard to say…

      Maybe they figured it was played out, and they would be better off waiting for the next thing to go viral about Obama.

      This has, in fact, happened weekly ever since. “The private sector is doing fine” suggests that they weren’t off-base.

  24. I found the comments still on several president’s bios: Reagan, Carter, and Nixon.

    1. “Some people referred to Richard Nixon as ‘Tricky Dick.’ Today the Obama Administration honors this tradition by referring to the president as ‘that dick.'”

    2. Crap you are right. They changed the format of them to separate them from the bio more clearly and I missed them. The shame. I will add a correction.

  25. “President John F. Kennedy famously suggested the American people: “Ask what you can do for your country.” In 1961, the Peace Corps was created, facilitating service among citizens working toward peace in developing countries. In 2011, President Obama celebrated the 50th anniversary of the Peace Corps with a Presidential Proclamation.”

    Still all Obama all the time.

  26. Not only did Obama put the boop in the boop boop she boop, he even put the rama in the rama lama ding dong!

    1. Who was that man? I’d like to shake his hand. Or at least sign his national father’s day card.

  27. From the tumblr:

    Obama At The Signing Of The Declaration Of Independence

    Matt and Nick, you didn’t tell us you gave Obama a signed copy of your book. Also, they misspelled Independents.

  28. It is not commonly known that Alan Shepard is actually only the second person to play golf on the moon. Obama was not only first, but also hit a hole in one and averaged two under par.

  29. I can’t link to it here at work, but Google “michelle Obama Chewbacca” and one of the pics is Barack at the helm of the millennium falcon, along with some other funny PhotoShops.

  30. It was Obama that explained to Oppenheimer the flaw in his blueprints for the Atomic Bomb and how to correct it.

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