Barack Obama

Penn Jillette, on Obama Locking Up People for Doing the Same Drugs He Did: "It's not a goddamn joke!"


Our favorite magician has uncorked one hell of a righteous rant about our pot-smoking president and his life-destroying Drug War hypocrisy:  


Re-read Jacob Sullum's October 2011 cover story: "Bummer: Barack Obama turns out to be just another drug warrior." And re-watch Nick Gillespie's interview with Jillette below:

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  1. Penn’s epic rant was linked by Drudge via FoxNow. The comments at the Drudge-linked Fox blog were comically depressing.

    1. Or FoxNation. Whatever.


      That’s what this country needs. Legal Marijuana.

      A high population is a malleable population. Free drugs is the pathway to controlling the masses.

      Now somebody hurry up and counter this with a comparison to booze.

      That’s the cogent argument from the comment section.

      1. More typical quote (referring to Penn)

        Typical lib loon. This guy is supposed to be some big ‘skeptic’, what a joke. He bought everything Obama was selling without checking for false representation. Some skeptic. Now he’s upset with Barak Hu33ein Obama, friend of the Mus1im Brotherhood, lover of the Call to Morning Prayer, for not allowing marijuana to be legal? Silly man, you should have known the ol’ Mary-jane is Haram . . . Forbidden, by 1slam. Just wait what until you see what they have in mind for other forms of Haram activity.

        Still not the comment section crazy person. But way wrong. And yes, I did link to that page just to get a chance to re-read Pinker’s money quote:
        1. Who are you voting for in November? Barack Obama, because he most exemplifies Reason and Free Minds (sorry, the country is in no mood for Freer Markets). The contrast between his discernment and eclecticism and the Republican ticket’s impulsiveness and idiot populism is vastly more important than any differences in their adherence to libertarian first principles.

        That’s still funny. “Discernment and eclecticism”. Funny…

  2. Does Penn not know that he can be arrested for criticizing Obama? I learnt it at scool.

    1. That’s one fine edumacation you got there.


  4. People have been brainwashed quite nicely through public education and popular culture to understand that recreational drug use – any recreational drug use – is evil. Conventional wisdom among journalists seems to be that it’s correct to demonize drug legalization advocates.

    Maybe the next generation will be able to convince the lemmings in the press to critically analyze the situation rather than regurgitate prohibitionist propaganda. Until then, I can’t see much legalization traction with politicians, even those who might actually be secretly sympathetic to the cause.

    (Of course, a big part of the equation continues to be the assholes who make money off drug war policy.)

    1. Conventional wisdom among journalists seems to be that it’s correct to demonize drug legalization advocates.

      Well, yeah. If you criticize drug laws then obviously you have no respect for those laws, nor for the authority that says drugs are bad.

      What other laws do you disrespect?

      Do you respect any laws at all?

      Fuck, you’re probably a terrorist! Prove you’re not a terrorist! Fucking terrorist!

      1. sarcasmic, you’re like a man possessed today. Your ranting is both epic, full of the best kinds of snark and consistently on-topic. I pray to God above that we get a police abuse story posted and dunphy shows up. I’ve got a feeling that that thread would be like fucking Thunderdome.

        1. He chooses his battles.
          When I’m on a roll he’s no where to be found.

          1. That’s how I feel. He’s avoided me lately as well.

            Imma try something here.


            Let’s see what happens.

            1. Not defending dunphy, but he’s in law ENFORCEMENT. Congress, the President, and the States have created the laws that Pen is ranting about – they are the ones giving the marching orders in this insane war.

              While it’s a nice fantasy that the DEA and the rest just refuse to fight the war, that isn’t going to happen. And why should it? American voters keep electing drug warriors.

              1. You’re right. I demand the release of every Nazi Stormtrooper that was just following orders. After all, they didn’t create the policy, even if they carried it out. It’s not their fault!!!!!!

                Seriously, Drake? You’re giving the guy with the truncheon a pass because he didn’t pen the law? Fuck that, and fuck you if you think cops should get a pass.

                1. Uh, we never prosecuted “Stormtroopers” (WWI shock troops).

                  We did prosecute camp guards for mass murder – after beating the shit out of the country that elected murderous leaders and people more than willing to follow them.

                  I didn’t give cops a pass – I stated the fact that there are more than enough people willing to take the job. The majority of American voters think the drug war is a good idea, that’s why it continues.

                  1. You pretty plainly said it is the writers of the laws we should be concerned with, not the enforcers of it.

                    Sorry, but any man that would enforce immoral laws on another is no better than the bastard that wrote the law. In fact, he may be worse since he has the ability to stop it. But the overwhelming majority of the cops out there will keep going after drug users, knowing all too well that it will ruin their lives.

                    Fuck everyone involved in fighting the drug war. They are equally deserving of my rage and contempt.

                    1. I said we should be concerned with the writers of the laws because that is the only way it will change.

                      Hate cops all you want, it won’t change anything.

                  2. I didn’t give cops a pass – I stated the fact that there are more than enough people willing to take the job. The majority of American voters think the drug war is a good idea, that’s why it continues.

                    This is a dangerous place to be posting pragmatic concerns.

                2. ^^This.

                  I have two relatives in law enforcement and when I posted to Facebook the other week “Cops are nothing but whores, and the state is their pimp telling them who to fuck” my family tore into me. Bunch of bootlickers… not once did I accuse either of my two cousins of being actual prostitutes, but because so many people have their tongues so far up the ass of authority, any logical argument is lost on them.

                  While I have little to no respect for the police, I still love my two relatives. And there are some cops out there that recognize errors in the law (LEAP, even dunphy to some extent). But cops who enforce bad laws should not be excused simply because they didn’t write them.

                  1. But cops who enforce bad laws should not be excused simply because they didn’t write them.

                    Exactly. And to me, doing something for a paycheck is worse than doing it out of principle (misguided though those principles may be).

                    1. Bingo, Karl.

                      Hit men, mafia enforcers, etc. are all merely doing their jobs.

                      Don’t blame that contract killer, he’s simply following order, just doing his duty, had to put food on the table, etc.

              2. he’s in law ENFORCEMENT

                At least they have enough grace to not call it JUSTICE.

    2. And I would guess 90+% of the journalists in major media either have used or are using illegal drugs. Then they push the drug war line.

      1. They must if they want to keep their jobs.

        Like I snarked above, failing to show respect for the law and authority with regards to drugs raises the question of what else you fail to respect. The answer to that question is to fire you.

        1. Nah. They are just “the rules don’t apply to us” assholes. Believe me, if cops ever started busting upper class white people for the drugs they use, our drug war problem would end very quickly.

          1. Meh, the laws we have today don’t mean shit.

            If you raise too much of a fuss, you’ll be hauled off to jail for one of your three felonies a day at the least. Does it really matter which “felony” they imprison you for?

          2. I think John’s right.

            1. That’s no way to talk around here Matt. People will start to think you’re a loon.

            2. I think it’s a bit of both.

          3. Certain business owners, the politically connected and their families, people who can afford expensive lawyers, and others get special treatment by the cops.

            Everyone else gets treated like shit.

            If cops started treating those people (mostly upper class whites) the same way as everyone else, not just on drug related issues, many problems would end very quickly.

            But they won’t. Knights are polite to the nobility and the nobility likes it that way.
            Neither cares if the serfs are abused.

          4. That sort of happened, once.

            Major General Smedley Darlington Butler, Quaker, was given leave from the Marine Corps to serve as the head of Prohibition enforcement in Philadelphia.

            They got rid of him when he started busting rich people’s speakeasies as well as the poor man’s gin joint.

          5. The trouble is, they’re the same people who’ll get very – and very efficaciously – angry at the busters. And, thanks to the income tax, they can get reliably stentorian about how much they send the government’s way!

            “The Income Tax: Mother Of Plutocracy.” Somewhere, the ghost of H.L. Mencken is busting a gut laughing.

            “Silly leftie….”

  5. Don’t forget Obama admitted to drunk driving as well


    1. Off all the shit I hate Obama over, his beyond-hypocrisy on drugs I think I hate the most. That or killing Americans without due process. Fuck it. I hate him every day for a new reason.

      1. You should design one of those tear-off calendars that features a daily new reason to hate Obama. I’m thinking of something pithy, “365 Reasons to Hate Obama”?

        Be a good libertarian, and use your anger to make some cash.

        1. Let’s see if the bumperstickers move first.

    2. raced down a highway with gin clouding my head

      That obviously refers to thinking about the card game he just left.

      Stop dissing the President!

    3. Obama, the gift that keeps on giving…

  6. Can somebody bring me up to speed on the Jimmy Fallon reference?

    Was the drug war mentioned on Obama’s appearance last month?

    1. What the fuck is a “Jimmy Fallon”?

      1. An un-funny comedian.

        1. True. However his Jim Morrison impression was spooky it was so good.

          The Doors

          1. Fucking amazing.

            1. Meh, it’s better than Frank Caliendo would have done, I’ll give you that.

              1. Can’t say that I ever “saw” Morrison. But that sure sounded like the voice I grew up with.

                1. Never had any use for Fallon until I saw that. That’s pretty much spot on. The Roots do a great job as Manzarek and company as well.

          2. Whoa. That’s like Kilmer good.

    2. Google thinks YourWeedGirls’ posting is relevant to your question.

      Tell Me America doesnt have the coolest/greatest laid back but get his job done president that ever lived. And tell me that its not crystal clear in your face that our President Smokes Weed. Theres no other way hes just like us potheads. Cool Laid Back Fun Chill but still hard working Just like the WEED Girls!

      This is what team-blue blinders look like.

      1. This is your brain on team blue.

      2. I might actually laugh if they get busted.

      3. It’s kind of like the gay marriage stuff…

        Obama: Yeah I support gay marriage, but I’m not going to lift a fucking finger to make it happen.


      4. You linked to MySpace why again?

  7. In Sparta, the crime wasn’t the activity but getting caught doing it. Jillette is certainly right. If Obama ever got busted his political career would have been still born. Likely would have never gotten into Harvard Law at that time either. American drug law is Spartan but far more cruel given the inconsistency of application.

    1. The thought of a drug bust destroying Obama’s life is the only positive thing about the drug war I can think of. Unfortunately, it’s just a theoretical.

      1. Says who? He could still be caught doing a line of blow on a hooker’s ass. We don’t know for sure he’s not still doing it.

        1. There is a whole group of LEO’s who know exactly what goes on in the White House. Long ago their loyalty to the Constitution was superseded by their allegiance to the President.

          1. I wasn’t thinking arrest, more of the massive political fallout that would occur if someone let it leak.

  8. That was some industrial-strength tirade right there, and iron-clad truth. We destroy hundreds of thousands of lives every year with these fucked-up laws. It’s no fucking joke.

  9. Beautiful rant.

    Every congresscreature, administration weenie, and staffer should be required to state under oath for public record every instance of every mind-altering substance they have ever ingested. Why has this simple protection for the children never been enacted into law? Who could *possibly* object to it?

    1. Fuck that. We test the military for drug use, why not the civil service and the entire Hill? Test those little bastards and prosecute every one who turns up hot.

      1. Yes – live with your shitty laws. And enjoying letting somebody watch you urinate once a month.

        1. I imagine a lot of drugs would magically become legal were our congressmen forced to admit they’re high when they write the bullshit they come up with.

          1. They don’t write laws. I’m convinced most of them are illiterate. My own NJ Senator Lautenberg is demonstratively senile.

            Members of Congress have big staffs to write thousands of pages of shitty legislation and stroke their egos.

      2. Oh, that goes without saying, John.

        I want these hypocritical fuckers to tell everyone how their *youthful* indiscretions ruined their lives.

        1. I also want to know how gay Rick Santorum was in his youth to hate fags so much.

          1. Not at all. Team Red ain’t what it used to be: they’re tightening up their laces. They learn slowly, but they do learn.

            Since my role seems to be your party-pooper, allow me to double down. Santorum, by placing second in the Team Red all-fall-down-except-Mitt extravaganza, is now in the catbird seat. The beneficiary of the Team Red “his turn next rule” is none other than Ricky.

      3. That would be unconstitutional, unfortunately.

        1. The amendment process still exists.

        2. It would be unconstitutional to remove a member of Congress for failing a drug test. Couldn’t the Senate just vote to have it be one of their rules that members must be tested and the results made public? If they wish to initiate impeachment proceedings against a member who tested positive that would be their perogative.

          Wouldn’t it?

      4. And the cops.

        We definitely need to regularly test the cops.

  10. From his rant: he would not have a beautiful, smart wife, he would not have a great job.

    Jillete’s generation amuses me at times. Have you ever met one of them who is capable of admitting when a black woman is fug ass? They have no idea how not to condescend in terms of race.

    With Michelle, I have no idea how smart she may be. There are only two sets of data available, her public persona, never impressed me, and her thesis which is horrible. Knowing even that much, it is still possible she is a shy public speaker and she phoned in her paper.

    However, that face. The only time she is even passable is when she is sedated. Once she starts moving those deep Klingon grooves in her forehead, it’s a fucking horror show.

    1. Good catch. Did anyone ever call Laura Bush beautiful? And Laura Bush was not bad looking for the over 50 mom class.

      The fact that they call Michelle “beautiful” when she so obviously is anything but just shows how racist they are. They really don’t consider black people to be worthy of being held to the same standards as white people.

      1. Hillary Clinton gave me a woodie in 1992. It was a confusing start to puberty.


    3. I wouldn’t credit that to his generation, so much as to Penn’s personal outlook on humanity. He seems to have a very zen-like “everybody is beautiful and unique, and we should all love each other as we are” outlook. At least that’s the impression I’ve always gotten from him.

      1. This. He’s not an outright asshole to humanity as a general rule.

  11. OT, but my search for the above found what may be the worst shoop ever. BTW, that site is full of insane win.

    1. As GT might say, “Oh, my!”

  12. That Penn is mightier…

  13. I just wish people spent less time commenting on how Michelle Obama looks.
    If she really is pretty, then say so. If not, say nothing.

    The silence would be deafening.

    Do you guys remember how much Hillary was touted as beautiful when she was first lady?

    1. I wished you would die, how about that instead?

    2. As for your accusation. You have no idea what you are talking about. People don’t talk about Michelle’s looks around here, I comment on her fug ass at every opportunity, and then some people are prompted to give their two cents as a result. It is my theme and mine alone. It will continue to be my running gag until the ban hammer is thrown. Don’t like it, fuck you and fuck the high horse you rode in on.

    3. She was actually pretty attractive back then. People were wondering why Bill was fooling around when he had her at home.

      1. She was pretty freakin’ cute on the campaign trail in ’92. The mavens of DC insisted on an image change soon after arriving, though.

        1. You got it backwards. She dolled herself up to appeal to Arkansas voters. Once she arrived in DC, she reverted to the Wellesley College dyke look.

  14. Now there is a dude that is just WAY too full of himself lol

  15. Penn Jilette is absolutely bang-on: it is about class. It’s the liberal answer to a top corporate exec who supports the TSA 110% while gliding off to his Gulfstream.

    Hate him for whatever reason, but Donald Rumsfeld did go through the grope line. So did Henry Kissinger.

    Team Red watchers be advised that those two doing so is a sign that the cloth-coat ethos is back. And you know what that means in re the richies of Team Blue…

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