Conspiracy Theories

Arizona Secretary of State Asks Hawaii to Verify President Obama's Birth, Hawaii Asks Arizona Secretary of State to Verify Himself


would rather pander than do job?

Though Arizona's Secretary of State says he's not a birther, he sure sounds like one: "I'm not a birther; I believe the president was born in Hawaii — or at least I hope he was," Ken Bennett said in a radio interview this week.    Apparently, that's why he asked Hawaii two months ago to provide "verification" that Barack Obama was born there. Hawaii's response? Go verify yourself! From TPM:

In the weeks since then, Bennett said, Hawaii officials have forced him to provide proof that he is who he says he is. They asked him to send them copies of the Arizona laws that prove the secretary of state really is the person in charge of handling the ballots. Admittedly, Bennett said they told him they were "tired of all the requests." But he is continuing anyway.

Looks like someone in Hawaii has a sense of humor. Seriously though, while Bennett claims he's not playing to birthers, it's hard to see why Bennett would waste his time, not to mention taxpayers' money, on these theatrics if he wasn't using the opportunity to build his support up ahead of the 2014 Arizona gubernatorial election in which he's expected to compete. The birther issue is a popular one there.

Read Nick Gillespie's take on the latest fodder for the birthers, the Obama bio from his literary agency that mistakenly said he was born in Kenya.

NEXT: The End of a Libertarian Era: Freedom Communications Selling Off in Chunks

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  1. District Attorney: What is your name?

    Kris Kringle: Kris Kringle.

    District Attorney: Where do you live?

    Kris Kringle: That’s what this hearing will decide.

  2. I dunno…apparently the Prezzydint has been telling folks he was born in Kenya.

    1. “The first time I came to Kenya was in 1987.” -Obama, 2006.

      The poor guy doesn’t know where he’s from. Maybe he’s tetched.

    2. He will tell anybody anything they need to hear in order to get what he wants. He is such a good con-artist I bet he could con his way into being President…. oh wait.

  3. It would be pretty funny if it eventually turned out that he was actually born in Kenya, and that all his proof was bullshit.

    I wonder what sort of effect that would have on progressives.

    1. It would be pretty funny if it eventually turned out that we never landed on the moon, and that all the evidence that we had for landing on the moon was bullshit.

      I wonder what sort of effect that would have on people who haven’t been auto-trepannated.

      1. Yeah, sure. Except I didn’t imply I was of the opinion that it’s probable, or even possible, that the evidence in Obama’s favor is false. It was purely hypothetical.

    2. They’d ignore it.

      1. They would say “so what” and make an excuse why it is okay, the same way they make an excuse for everything else he does.

        (Same goes for the other side as well)

    3. We’d get a defacto change in requirements without following constitutional amendment procedures.

      Eventually Schwarzenneger is elected president and the slightest breach of the law results in an automatically dispensed citation. All restaurants are Taco Bells. Sexual intercourse and french kisses are illegal and by 2032 toilet paper has fallen out of use.

      1. It’s too bad we don’t have John Spartan to fuck the statists up good.

  4. Bottom line is that all the fellators and adoring media really have no idea who they put in the White House. Makes them all look like ignorant fools.

    1. And in the spirit of The Art of War, that might be the Breitbart gang’s only goal here.

      1. Racial Equalizer God-King Barack I Obama — that’s who they put in the White House. Don’t be racist.

  5. Is that just a bad picture, or does Bennett always look crazy?

    1. I know it’s been said here many times, but why do they always have such punchable faces?

      1. Ah, I was trying to remember on which thread we had our list of Most Punchable Faces. This one would be added somewhere near the top.

        But serious question: If you were to attempt to give this guy an Atomic Wedgie, what are the odds you would find the waistband of his BVDs already up over his head?

  6. Seriously though, while Bennett claims he’s not playing to birthers, it’s hard to see why Bennett would waste his time, not to mention taxpayers’ money, on these theatrics if he wasn’t using the opportunity to build his support up ahead of the 2014 Arizona gubernatorial election in which he’s expected to compete.

    Or, perhaps, Arpiao is keeping his family hostage.

  7. Has anyone bothered to check to make sure that Hawaii doesn’t actually belong to Kenya?

    1. Maybe Obama will just go and annex Kenya. “It’s a state now, bitch!”

      1. Only if he’s got investments in the flag manufacturing industry.

  8. My theory is that he is what he appears to be: a cyborg constructed by aliens in their base on Triton. The aliens got all the paperwork right but the bureaucrats and literary agents keep fucking it up.

    PS: JFK was also an alien cyborg. Oswald knew that and that’s why he was killed.…

  9. Who gives a rat’s ass where he was born? Albert Gallatin would have been a wonderful President. He was a peace maker.

    1. I’d love it to be true so that it could be used to impeach the fucker though.

      1. President Biden?

        1. Comedy gold. Totally worth it.

        2. How would that work? If he is ineligible then the whole ticket is ineligible, which would mean McCain/Palin. I have to admit the comedy gold of Biden would be pretty good.

          1. I don’t thinks so, at the very worst it would fall to the third in line Speaker of the House John Boehner.

  10. I hear that Mexico wants to build a fence along the border with Arizona.

    1. You laugh. At some point, other countries will start looking down on the poor, unwashed Americans flooding their borders.

      Luckily…luckily most of these other nations are pursuing the same economic policies we are (or harder) so a retreating tide lowers all boats.

  11. the Obama bio from his literary agency that mistakenly said he was born in Kenya.

    So we should not trust a Auditor whose job it is to confirm candidate eligibility who says he is not a birther but we should trust the literary agency that they were the ones who made the mistake on the Bio even though on their submission guidelines page they ask for the authors to write the bio.

    Ed should I slap Obama’s dick out of your mouth or Weigle’s?

  12. Incidentally, the man in charge of birth records in Nairobi? Recently gave an interview in which he clearly stated that Obama was born in Kenya.

    If you need more definitive proof, I don’t know what to tell you.

    1. Hi Ken!

      Nice to see that you’ve finally woken from your 2 year coma. As you know, there have been some changes to the world. One the major ones is that we now “roll” people with this video.

      I wish you luck your adjustment to 2012.


      Heroic Mulatto

      1. Hate to break it to you, but the Birther movement is so two years ago, too! What more appropriate way to…

        Oh, and my link was to a guy breaking down the Birther argument to the world.

        Your video didn’t even address the birther movement’s arguments at all. Why the fuck would I link that?!

        1. P.S. You’re lucky you didn’t get Rick Astley.

          1. HEY! I like Rick Astley!

            1. Rick Astley would have been a good choice, too, but the Trololo guy? explains the birther position so well that…

              I’m not sure it’s possible to truly understand what the birthers are trying to say? UNLESS you watch the Trololo guy all the way through.

      2. I prefer this one.

  13. I personally doubt that Obama was born in Hawaii. The COLB they produced was an obvious forgery, his SSN is from CT, he has no Selective Service registration record, he refuses to release his college records, his passport information is a mystery and he has relatives on record saying they attended his birth in Kenya. Oh, and a bio for a potential book deal (that every person I’ve ever heard had one said they are written by the subject and merely edited by their publicist or agent) says he was born in Kenya.

    Laugh at me all you want, people, but I really don’t see what’s so hard to figure out here. He either lied once then (to maybe get a book deal) or he’s lying and hiding records that betray him now in more ways than I can count to make him eligible to be President.

    1. I don’t know, but I can tell you that the COLB is identical (even the color) to my wife’s Birth Certificate who was also born in Hawaii. She was born in ’68. Oh shit, maybe my wife was born in Kenya too! lol

      1. Does the type on your wife’s continue in a straight line while the page curls from the microfiche? Are there inconsistencies in the typeface? Do they refer to her race with a term that had not yet come into use?

        1. His looks like a photocopy of the original printed on the exact same paper as hers. Same color, same vertical and horizontal lines. Her’s is not a photocopy of the original, and is not the original because she had to get a new copy, it looks like it was just printed out. The format is different. The certification and date certified on the bottom of his is on the back of hers but is identical. The one “official type” thing I don’t see on his that is on hers is the Seal of the State of Hawaii which is stamped on the front of hers. The file number and certificate numbers are the same formats. His actually has more information than hers does. Quite honestly, if they wanted to forge it, it would seem like they would just print out something like what they sent my wife, because it would be pretty easy to forge. Maybe that has to do with the fact that his is a photocopy of the original and hers is just a reprint.

          1. So what you are saying is your wife is a keynesian?

            1. She doesn’t like math much less economics so no:)

    2. The Birth announcements his grandma put out in the paper convinced me he was born in Hawaii.

      Still it is amusing the conflations Ed and David Weigel are making over this.

      Apparently a State elections official is crazy for asking for confirmation and is a birther but Obama’s own literary agent isn’t and simply made a mistake.

      Can we say “Hacks”?

      1. My sister was in Texas where her husband was stationed and my mother put a birth announcement in the local (Virginia) paper when she had her last child. It was the pre-Facebook days, so people did that often enough that I don’t think it would have been uncommon at all in pre-computer days for someone to announce a birth that happened overseas in the local paper.

        1. My mom put an announcement in the local paper for my daughter’s birth when we were still in Bangkok, and that was in 2006.

        2. In the announcement the address of Obama’s parents is listed as a Hawaiian address.

          What address did your mom use for your sisters kid?

          1. Off the top of my head, I couldn’t tell you. I’d have to look in her scrapbook.

      2. The birth announcements settled it for me so I paid no attention to the birther shit. If Obama was posing as “Kenyan-born” in some quarters for a few decades and managed to largely cover it up then what all else do we not know?

        1. You do understand Hawaii issued BC’s for children born outside the state that appear as if the child was born in Hawaii?

    3. Like I said, unless it would serve as a way to get the guy out of office, I really don’t care where he was born. He’s an abominable progressive degenerate, and that’s more than enough to despise him for.

      1. I agree with you 100%. If his mom was a citizen, I think it makes him one by birth. I personally don’t care unless it can get the asshole out of office faster.

        1. His mom was too young to pass on her citizenship.

          1. lol wut?

            1. In1961 the law was, you had to be resident in the US for five years after the age of 14 to pass on your citizenship. Obamas mother was only 18 when he was born.

    4. I think he was born in Hawaii. I think he lied about being born in Kenya at various times so he could get preferential treatment in college. I think that is why he won’t release his college transcripts. He’s a lying liar who lies, though, whichever way you slice it up.

      1. I wondered about that too, when I first heard about this. He might have told the lie earlier and would feel he had to continue it in the bio or risk exposure.

        I don’t buy the agent’s story one bit. I’m sure Obama would have read the bio at least once when it was first written (even assuming he wasn’t the writer) and an error like that would not likely go unnoticed.

      2. I think Demonica Archiva wins the Kewpie doll here.

      3. That seems the most likely. He’s just like squaw Warren.

      4. The real mystery here is why anyone would want to do a biography on this guy before he ran for president.

        What exactly did he do in his earlier life that anyone would care? I didn’t even know this guy existed until the campaign and he’d been a senator for two years.

        1. First black president of the Harvard law review.

      5. The real mystery here is why anyone would want to do a biography on this guy before he ran for president.

        What exactly did he do in his earlier life that anyone would care? I didn’t even know this guy existed until the campaign and he’d been a senator for two years.

      6. The real mystery here is why anyone would want to do a biography on this guy before he ran for president.

        What exactly did he do in his earlier life that anyone would care? I didn’t even know this guy existed until the campaign and he’d been a senator for two years.

    5. I love you to death Sloop, but methinks you are a bit off your rocker.

      I agree with the people who think this pitiful excuse for a Prez simply inflated his resume at every given opportunity and simply is getting tripped up in the wash. He reminds me of that freak show who claimed he was Sidney Poitier’s son (Poitier never had a son), David Hampton, who was the subject of that Will Smith piece de resistance, Six Degrees of Separation.

      I really think, even though it makes the Obama Fellating Press Corpse totally incompetent and partisan, that this is designed to re-ignite Birfers, Freepers, and Coast to Coast nutjob conspiracy loons to distract from O’s abysmal presidential record.

  14. That guy’s eyes have that ‘excessively wide apart’-look of an inbred… or an alien. He can probably see his own ears. Both, at the same time.

    1. Not to upstage the POTUS, whose ears can both be seen with the naked eye, from Pluto.

  15. would rather pander then do job

    Hey dipshit Krayewski whose job is it to confirm that mayors live in the cities they are elected in? What about county commissioners? Who checks to make sure federal reps live in the districts they serve?

    Could it possibly be the Secretary of State?

    Do you know what the word “hack” means?

  16. [H]e asked Hawaii to provide “verification” that Barack Obama was born in Hawaii two months ago.

    Hawaii or Kenya, it was definitely earlier than that.

    1. I don’t know, he whines like a fucking baby whenever he doesn’t get his way; see Citizens United

  17. The birth certificate doesn’t matter. He’s ineligable because his father was a foreigner.

    1. Is his VP also ineligable because he’s retarded? Who would be POTUS then if the One had to leave office?

      1. That would be The Big Orange Boner.

        1. I am sorta ok with that…. I mean compared to the lying commie and the retard, I welcome our new orange overlord… until we Ls take over the world.

    2. Juke Box Hero was a great song!

      1. For a pop group, yeah, it was ok, not great

    3. Having both parents as American citizen’s is not a requirement, simply being born here is.

      1. Ice Trey thinks some old frog bastard gets to define the words “natural born citizen”.

        1. No, I think the Supreme Court in the Minor case does.

          “…all children born in a country of parents who were its citizens became themselves, upon their birth, citizens also. These were natives or natural-born citizens, as distinguished from aliens or foreigners.”

          BTW, Vatell was Swiss. Better get your facts straight when you challenge me.

          1. A passage in a philosophical text book does not get to be law just because you and a handful of other crackpots want it to.

            And your Supreme Court case does not support your view at all. If anything, it contradicts it.

            And Vattel is a French name. And the language in which he wrote his book was French. I don’t care if his actual nationality was Swiss he was ethnically French from the French section of Switzerland. Hence froggy bastard.

            And no matter how widely read his work was it doesn’t overrule reams of contrary precedent and the fact that colonial America followed British law in making jus soli with no regard for the citizenship of parents the primary requirement for citizenship.

            You also have to account for the fact that there has never been a single opinion in law expressed in support of your theory. The legal meaning of natural born citizen has always been recognized to mean what is normally inferred from that simple three word combination. ie someone who became a citizen as a consequence of their birth.

      2. So what about the children of citizens born outside the country? The child of illegals born in the US is eligible but the child of two citizens born overseas isn’t? That would include McCain?

        1. Congress has passed laws, as it is empowered to do, that provide for the citizenship of children born to American citizens in foreign countries.

          1. Citizenship sure. But according to you to be “natural born” you have to be born in the country, jus soli right?

    4. He’s ineligable because his father was a foreigner.

      Waddaya mean?

      Frank Marshal Davis was definitely an American.

      1. Unfortunately for Obama he’s stuck with his Kenyan father, because that’s who’s on the birth certificate!

  18. It is cool. .Place_to_meet_a__younger_handsome_men. Every_sexy_cougar_is_welcome_here !if_you_ interested_in_meeting_younger_men

  19. It is cool. CougarFlirts.-C?M .Place_to_meet_a__younger_handsome_men. Every_sexy_cougar_is_welcome_here !if_you_ interested_in_meeting_younger_men

    1. Do you have a means by which I can confirm the cougar’s age? Some kind of document?

  20. Remember Thomas Friedman is on Jeopardy tonight, kids.

  21. I’ve got a brilliant idea for Gary Johnson to not only break Ed Clark’s record but draw a serious chunk of the vote. Go full-birther on Obama’s lyin’ Hawaiian ass!

    Hell, GJ is already pandering (ineffectively) by touting the “fair tax”.

    There is going to be plenty of room to Romney’s right and going where the squishy GOP Establishment won’t will get that pro-abortion albatross off his neck. Think of all the free campaign exposure he’d get from Alex Jones and WND!

    1. You are kidding, right, SIV?

      All Johnson really needs to do is get into the televised debates and destroy the O and the white O, and get RP supporters.

      Alex Jones is a bit of a wacko most of the time… most of the time, but it still amazes me how many people think that agenda 21 is just a conspiracy theory.

      1. “but it still amazes me how many people think that agenda 21 is just a conspiracy theory.”

        What mean: “people think that agenda 21 is just a conspiracy theory.”?
        A-21 is a watermelon’s wet dream, but if there’s any ‘conspiracy’, it was among those who got it passed and hoped no one would figure out what it meant.

        1. That is what I mean, I still talk to lots of people who think agenda 21 is a conspiracy theory. Check out your own community and see if there is any ‘sustainability’ programs going on. If not, you would be an exception. Agenda 21 is not passed anywhere as far as I know. Like most sneaky low life shit that progressives do, they call it something else and try to sneak it in somehow without any legislative process.

      2. GJ won’t break 1% unless he comes up with a game-changer. I’d be willing to bet real money that if he can get into the debates the result will be to drive his poll numbers down.

        I’m only half-kidding.Going hard negative on his opponents wouldn’t hurt.

        1. If he gets RP supporters onboard, he is going to break 15%. You heard it here first.

        2. He’ll never get into the debate.

          Fuck the media kept out of the Repub debates yet took Trump and Gingrich seriously.

  22. Looks like someone in Hawaii has a sense of humor.

    You think?

  23. OT: I would like to congratulate Epi on a wonderous effort of trolling.
    He appealed over the last few months that “Drive” starring Ryan Gosling was good.
    I found it on Netflix, and I want those 100 minutes back.

  24. I just spent the evening drinking double IPAs from a local retail outlet Bestway, having a little block party…..prstart=0

    with two Hara Krisna monks. I explained to them the numbness they feel in their faces and arms, it’s THC. they both laughed out in ecstasy and hugged me then they chanted prayers. They are walking up the road in their saffron robes as I right this, too fucking unreal for words to convey:

    1. Where can this legendary IPA be found? I don’t much like IPA, it’s bitter, which is why I prefer lagers or pils, but if it has THC and I get to see monks in saffron robes walking down the road afterwards, then give us the GPA coords. Don’t be fucking with us man, we be Libertarians, arrgghhh!

    2. Wait, the monks drank? That’s a defrockable offense.

      1. You sure? Show us the clause from the monk handbook that says that one must be defrocked for drinking hallucinogenic IPA? That is of course, assuming that Killazontherun is not completely making up that story. I am still waiting for GPS coords so that I can go and verify. Someone has to report on these things.

        1. Here you go.

          Like Buddhism, the Hare Krishnas believe in abstaining from intoxicants. The laity can drink, though it’s frowned upon. For Shramana (be they Buddhist, Jain, orthodox Hindu, or Hare Krishna) drinking would be an offense that could have the penalty of defrocking.

          1. I’m not ratting them out, but I have no doubt they were the real thing. Just wondered in to our pre celbration — the product party is tomorrow, so this is a pre release thing going on. I saw two strangers – decided they needed welcoming.

            1. Uhh, dude, we don’t give a rats arse about the monks, we want the THC IPA. GPS coords bro, GPS coords…

              And no, I am not from the government, and I am not here to help, I am here to drink your beer, bwaahhhaaaahhaaaahaha

          2. Yah, ok, I am going to ask my son-in-law who is a buddhist, and I am not joking here. He doesn’t eat meat, but drinks alcohol. He is also Libertarian, and Brazilian. And I am not making this shit up. How many people know a Brazilian Buddhist Libertarian? Even I did not believe it at first.

          3. HM, wife let me know she is one hundred percent sure that they were two hipster putzes out having a good time. A big let down to me, but shit, we DID have a good time.

            1. You just said that you were sure that they were monks…. Are you 100% sure that there was not something else besides IPA??? We are watching you dude, watching you…

    3. having a little blockGlock party

      Me and my son, tomorrow at Duncan’s Outdoors. Which has indoor ranges. Go figure.

      Don’t imagine alotta Krisha’s are there, but if any Reasonoids are in the Bay City, MI area tomorrow, come on over.

    4. Also – pics or it didn’t happen!!

      1. It is possible that they were two guys doing a gag, but multiple people were snapping shots of them. Shouldn’t be that hard to find. Handsome long haired guy would be me, and chestnut haired short skinny lady the wife.

  25. Last: Bennett looks like a fundie dickhead. Fuck Arizona. I kind of like Jan Brewer’s “fuck you”-itiveness, but they sure bring the stooopid with Sheriff Fuckhead and this bullshit.

    Come on AZ, act like you’ve been here before…

    1. Okay, I went back and grabbed a bottle from the stash we had been drinking from — Hercules Double IPA — Great Divide Brewing Co.

      1. WTF is it with IPA? My oldest brother and my son both like it also. I really do not like that bitter taste. Are you sure it has THC?

        1. Yes. I know the feeling intimately.

          Forget about the monks, man. Even if hipsters out dressed to impress they had the longing deep inside.

  26. Am I the only one who sees a 25 year old (maybe 30) Mike Huckabee when I look at this pic for more than 5 seconds? Too funny considering the context.

  27. Gah, sometimes I really hate the jokers in my state.

    Buuut, you know that if we ever make real strides in reducing the grasp of the state, as it shrinks jokers like him will make up an increasing percentage.

    I see a curve analogous to the Laffer Curve in which there’s an optimal batshit insane to minimal government ratio.

  28. Anybody up to watch the SpaceX launch

    1. and it FAILED!!!!!

      1. Not so much a failure, which to me implies destruction of the vehicle. Just a scrub on high chamber pressure in one engine 0.5s before liftoff.

        1. Yeah, I know, but I was so eager to watch it live. It failed on my entertainment level, but I did discover this lovely lady while trying to find the webcast

          Amiko Kauderer-Nasa PR

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