Sex Work

Photos and a Lawsuit in the Secret Service's Hooker Scandal


secret service tried to shaft her

No secret service hooker scandal would be complete without some pictures, and the Daily News has them.

The "scandal" consists of eleven Secret Service agents outed for partying it up with up to two dozen Colombian hookers (including, apparently, this one). It's not a crime in the hotel where the Secret Service agents were preparing for the President's arrival, but it is a crime against the sensibilities of the more Puritan portions of the American population.

Three agents have left the Secret Service, and one is already planning to sue. None of the eleven agents or the dozen military officials also involved have been identified, and the President's said if true the scandal angers him.

Our own Tim Cavanaugh argues there's nothing wrong with Secret Service renting hookers. The agents' actions were only uncovered because of an argument over the price: the escort pictured says she was offered $30 for $800 service. The clean up's going to cost the government a lot more than that.

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  1. You know I’ve been thinking about seeing South America…..

  2. I’d stiff her.

    1. What’s the over-under on whether her chest is real?

    1. Male cheetahs are social and often live together in coalitions….

      So that’s the “acceptable” term for juvenile cross species relationships.

    2. John Wayne had a pet cheetah in Hatari!. Made me want one.

      1. John Wayne was a fag. I installed two-way mirrors in his pad in Brentwood, and he come to the door in a dress.

        1. Sometimes you’re thinking about a plate of shrimp, and somebody says “plate,” or “shrimp,” or “plate of shrimp.”

    3. That is odd…in the forth image the dog is rubbing up against the cat.

      For a cat that form of affection is innate. For the, dog I suspect, it was learned simply by hanging out with the cat.

      1. Nah, dogs love to lean a shoulder against you. I suspect that’s all he’s doing here.

    4. I don’t know – that cat is already looking psycho. I give it another year before that dog is turned into kibble because it won’t stop barking when the doorbell rings.

      1. Cheetahs are weird, supposedly they’re more dog-like than the rest of the cats. They’re even another genus.

        I was watching the Houston Zoo’s pair lean up against the legs of their keeper, which is something you’d definitely never see with any their other cats. Not if you wanted to keep the legs, that is.

        Loved Dean Ing’s bounty hunter character who had one as a watchcat/pet.

  3. Come for the hookers, stay for the blow.


  4. So $800 seems like a lot to pay for a Columbian hooker, even one as hot as this one. What sort of perversions do you suppose he bought?

    1. Something SugarFree will describe as mild, no doubt.

      1. He won’t pay above $20 for his little Thai boys. He told me so himself.

        1. Big spender. That’s about $19.50 more then they’re worth.

        2. best thing about lil kidz is their lil hands make one’s junk look soo big! bada boom…

    2. I’d drop the $800. It’s for all night.

    3. It’s still cheaper by the hour.

    4. $800 a night is too much! I’ve rented Costa Rican girls for $100 a day. There are so many hookers in Latin America, you should be able to name your own price.
      Most are single moms with kids to feed. Just tell the hooker you have know a girl who will stay with you for $100, but you want to try someone new. If she said no, move on to someone else.

  5. There’s nothing wrong with Secret Service agents sampling the perfectly legal local sexual services, but if he tried to cheat her, I hope she swears out a complaint against him (or whatever they do down there),

  6. “the more Puritan portions of the American population.”

    I can’t believe there are actually people who believe that Puritanism is still a Clear and Present Danger in America.

    Or perhaps it’s a rhetorical cudgel to cut off all criticism of any given sex scandal: “What’s the matter, killjoy, the sheep wasn’t hurt and the Senator just needed some relaxation. It was just his bad luck that the schoolbus full of children happened to drive by at the wrong moment.”

    1. This scandal is more proof that many Americans are uncomfortable with men who are sexually aroused by women.

      1. Or perhaps it’s a rhetorical cudgel to cut off all criticism of any given sex scandal…

        Well sure it is. And so what? Anytime anything like this comes up, the usual suspects do the usual pearl clutching.

        “OMG, Sex! Not married! Hookers! Think of the Children!”

        But you go ahead EvH, clutch some pearls for us.

  7. It’s not about the prostitution, it’s more about the fact that government employees are doing this sort of thing when they should be doing their jobs. It’s unprofessional.

    1. What’s unprofessional about raping and looting?

    2. Bingo. There’s a coupld of possible explanations (note: not necessarily mutually exclusive):

      (1) The Secret Service regards overseas trips as junkets/vacations, and sends out advance teams that are either too large or have too much time on their hands so they can sample the local delights while waiting around for the President to show up.

      (2) The Secret Service sent just the right number of guys, with just enough time to do their business, but they blew off their obligations to stage “Hangover III” in Bogota.

      Either way, this is not how you act on company time.

      1. I thought they were off duty?

        1. Is one ever off-duty on a trip that being reimbursed by taxpayers?

        2. If you’ve got enough guys and enough off-duty time to throw what sounds like a pretty serious blowout like this, then I think we are looking at Option (1), above, no?

          1. No. There is another option, call it “option 2, get real”.

            They have a number of tasks to accomplish in the days preceding the Prez’s arrival. They don’t do this 24 hours a day, they work humane hours like normal people. Group leader’s briefing goes like this:

            “Ok you fuckers, today we do A, B, C, X and Y. It’s 7am now, we should be finished about 5pm. After that you’re on your own until tomorrow’s 7am briefing.”

            Now, I’ve never been in invited to join the SS, but I bet my guess is closer than yours

  8. Not guilty!

  9. I agree that they should all be fired for unprofessional conduct. But someone help me out on this contemplated lawsuit–Aren’t all Secret Service agents at-will? And isn’t the Secret Service exempt from all those pesky anti-discrimination statutes the rest of us are stuck with?

  10. That’s one andvantage to prostitution being legal. You get a lot more “top shelf talent” taking up the trade. Basically you get chicks who look like pornstars and like to fuck going into the business as opposed to skanky hos who don’t have any other way to make a living.

  11. I hate this phrase, but “perception is reality”. If the President’s closest protectors are acting like licentious, unprofessional dopes, that degrades their authority.

    1. acting like licentious, unprofessional dopes,

      I hear an organization’s culture starts at the top.

      1. Yes, it certainly does.

        That was something that it was very hard for this libertarian to learn, but the trappings and appearances of authority and the appearance of discipline matters in any organization. It is a function of leadership.

        1. Libertarianism is about limiting force, not limiting authority. Very different things.

  12. Umm sure nothing wrong with hookers…

    But giving hookers access to where the president is coming is, in terms of security, a very bad idea.

    1. Maybe they were just testing out the hookers before his royal highness arrived.

    2. “But giving hookers access to where the president is coming is”

      essential to letting them do their jobs, unless we’re talking about some kind of telefucking.

  13. $30 is too low, but $800 is WAY too high.

    1. And how would you know this, Apple?

  14. If McDonald’s sent a bunch of dealmakers to Colombia to work on opening some new restaurants there, and got caught having a wild hooker party…and the company fired them for tarnishing the McDonald’s image, would you guys be siding with the fired employees then? Would you be accusing McDonald’s of puritanism? Of course not.

    The US government has an image to project also, and that image should not be one of patronizing prostitution (even if one believes it should be legal, as I do). So I’m fine with the Secret Service goons being let go over this.

    1. Especially since their mission briefing probably included these words: “oh, and by the way guys, don’t fuck any hookers over there”.

  15. Lobster Girl!

  16. I heard a story on the radio yesterday that Bunny Ranch owner Dennis Hof was going to offer first-time’s free to Secret Service agents, saying this scandal probably wouldn’t have occured had they patronized his establishment in the first place.

    1. Except you can go and see the Bunny Ranch workers. They’re not bad, but not worth his prices. I’d rather have that Colombian chick. Kind of a butterface, but if you got the body and not the face, then you go into sex work and not modeling.

      If you want top shelf paid sex in this country, you call someone in the porn business. Most of those girls escort on the side. You know exactly what you’re getting, and you know they’re probably clean.

  17. I’m sorry, but whether or not you agree with prostitution as a legal enterprise, how can this be taken as anything less than a very unprofessional dereliction of duty to guard POTUS? Not that I’m a huge fan of Obama, but these guys had a job to do. I highly doubt fucking foreign whores was on the official agenda.

    1. “very unprofessional dereliction of duty to guard POTUS”

      Were they on duty at the time?

      1. I find it hard to imagine that the US Secret Service, like members of the US military or a US police force, are not held to a code of conduct that is enforceable around the clock, and regardless of whether these agents were in uniform or not.

        1. Bullshit. Soldiers and Marines can fuck all the hookers they want as long as it’s legal and they are off-duty.

          Drive to you nearest major base (home base for an Army or Marine Division) like Lejune or Bragg. You’ll know you are getting close as the yanky-cranky massage parlors become more frequent.

          1. Secret Service Agents are not your run-of-the-mill-soldiers, and the Code of Conduct is written for a reason. They have Top Level Security Clearances that can’t be compromised. It is enforceable around the clock, and that comes with the job. It’s not for everyone, that’s for sure.
            They’ve read and signed the code. They all knew what they were doing. Dumb Asses.

      2. Regardless of whether or not they were “on duty” at the time, reports indicate that they brought the hookers to rooms that contained sensitive intelligence materials. Whether on duty or off, putting yourself in the position to compromise sensitive materials should be a big no-no.

    2. What if it had been a Republican President? Not to mention the Secret Service men and women have a moral clause. A friend who was in the Secret Service said when he was on or off duty with the elected official he was with he lived like a monk. Sex could wait until he got home to his partner.

  18. $800??? Good grief what kind of sex did one man have for that price? Am all for making paid consensual sex amongst adults legal. What concerns me is that these Secret Service men did not use better judgement.

    When you drink to much in a bar with women who make money by having sex you better know that drunk often means poor choices, including what you agree to pay, which can come back to bite you.

    Being a Libertarian means using my brain and making wise choices that will NOT involve law enforcement or government. Remember we the taxpayers paid for the training the Secret Service men/women get.

    1. Not to mention their salaries as well.

  19. ” the escort pictured says she was offered $30 for $800 service”

    Oh lols

  20. You know what they say right? Boys will be boys!

  21. Going into euphemism land. As a artist who does commission work, there are certain subjects that I can paint well but intensely dislike. There are also customers who are obnoxious. If I run into a nasty customer who wants a mural of an obnoxious subject, I raise the price to the point where I don’t mind doing it. If he thinks the price is too high, I get out of doing something I don’t really want to do. If he coughs up the money, then I can live with that too. If, however, I finish the mural and then he only wants to pay the price of a quick charcoal portrait, you better believe I’m going to raise a ginormous stink.

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