Remembering Mike Wallace, and "The Homosexuals"


60 Minutes warhorse Mike Wallace died Saturday at the ripe old age of 93. Via the Twitter feed of Justin Elliott comes this fascinating Wallace highlight from 1967 that reminds us how far societal tolerance has evolved since the Summer of Love:

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  1. Someone please, oh please, describe this to me as I cannot watch at work. I imagine it is probably on a level with this (sorry, youtube does not seem to have the whole thing unfortunately).

    1. From the battlefield of Antietam, a middle-aged Mike Wallace describes how the healthful vapors of tobacco can deter homosexual predilections brought on by malarial influences in low-lying malarial settings.

      1. But that’s all true!

        1. But if a 19th Century surgeon amputates both your arms, how do you smoke cigars to ward off the “soldier’s cigar?”

          Mike Wallace knows, but he won’t say.

          1. Is this new meaning to the term “Smoking fags?”

            1. No, a faggot is just a bundle of sticks. Usage: Throw another faggot on the fire.

      2. That seems more appropriate to the battle-lines between Pillowstown and Blanketsburg.

        1. “I just heard from the Guiness rep. He’s not coming. He’s been fired in what he described as the world’s biggest mistake.”

          1. Winger said at the time, “It’s a slanderous betrayal akin to 9/11”, which he would later admit was “essentially accurate”

            1. The war won’t stop with First Blood Part II. It will escalate to Rambo III. Which should really be Rambo II: First Blood Part III, but the Rambo titles never made sense. And neither does war.

              ? Abed Nadir, Facebook Status Update

              ? Leonard likes this post!

              1. -Leonard “Bleeding Guts” Guiterez
                Veteran, Korean War (North Korean Army)

    2. “Homosexuality, in fact, is an illness.”

      I think that sums it up.

      1. Why the fuck was this made?!? By CBS, no less?

        1. I imagine it was a response to some completely fabricated homo-hysteria. I really can’t say though; maybe it was simply a reaction to too much LSD.

          1. Homo-hysteria reminds me of libertarian-hysteria and atheist-hysteria: oh noes, this incredibly small, powerless minority is coming to get you! AIIIGGHHEEEEE

            1. Yeah, I think that’s why I confuse such hysteria with LSD. Because none of it makes a single bit of sense to me.

              1. LSD makes perfect sense. When you’re on it.

                1. OT: Absolute worst fucking hangover in my life came from trying LSD.

                  My fucking god did I think my head was going to explode.

                  1. Then your LSD was cut with something shitty. Probably speed. Bad, bad combo.

                    1. How can a tiny piece of blotter paper be cut with a significant amount of anything?

                    2. How can a tiny piece of blotter paper be cut with a significant amount of anything?

                      Took the words right out of my mouth Joe. The drug dealers I know usually purchase it in liquid form and put it in food items for buyers. 1 frosted mini wheat = 1 hit of LSD.

                      @anon how did you take it? I’ve heard in recent years that many psychedelics are being cut with bathsalts, especially MDMA. I would definitely discourage usage unless you know for certain the drug’s source.

                    3. The whole “bathsalts” thing was just a way to get around restrictions on selling unapproved drugs. Simlar to the fake pot sold as “incense, not for human consumption”. No one was taking actual bath salts to get high (or using them to cut other drugs to any significant degree).

                    4. Are you being sarcastic?

                      There are many instances just in Ohio of actual wide scale “bathsalt” usage. I am sure it is worse else where in the U.S.

                      “fake pot” is definitely not actual marijuana. It is just a shitty grade of non-toxic incense loaded with cannabinoids to get you high.

                    5. It’s not cut, just poorly refined. If it’s near pure you’ll know it.

                    6. Possibly elsewhere in the U.S, but not in my area.

                  2. Tip: drinking 30 beers while coming down might seem like a good idea at the time, but it isn’t.

                    1. Oh yes it is! Alcohol immunity is a feature.

                  3. OT: Absolute worst fucking hangover in my life came from trying LSD.

                    Never tried LSD, but tried E recently, and felt like crap the entire next day, got nothing done.

                    It was fn good during the peak, tho. Dunno if I’d do it again.

                    1. Never tried LSD, but tried E recently,

                      Why would you want to try E! — isn’t it all Kardashian all the time?

                    2. The Soup

                    3. Yes, the cardinal rule of E is to take the next day off. Don’t try to go to work at 8am and then get tortured with a 4 hour Barenaked Ladies bootleg like I did.

                    4. Yes, the cardinal rule of E is to take the next day off. Don’t try to go to work at 8am and then get tortured with a 4 hour Barenaked Ladies bootleg like I did.

                      The first time I did MDMA I had work the next morning at 7 am. I ingested the pill at around 1am. I’m amazed I didn’t get fired when I showed up for work sweaty, pupils like dinner plates, and an undying need to touch everything. I guess I would have if I didn’t leave the glowsticks in my car.
                      I tested the waters again the next week when I came to work still tripping balls from the night before. I completely forgot about a meeting with my fellow managers that morning. Being locked in a tiny office with fluorescent lighting and 5 or 6 of my coworkers and my GM was a tiny slice of hell. It took an amazing amount of willpower to not run out of there screaming.

                2. It’s funny because it’s true:) I remember having revolations of absolute truth, later to be dumbfounded by the ideas.

            2. When the gays when, the human race dies. Supporting gays = extinction event.

              Or something like that.

              1. Homosexual sex is OK, as long as they are having sex to procreate, and nothing nasty like fun or pleasure (Santorum issue sheet).

        2. That was a quote from a doctor, not Wallace.

          Bonus quote: “Marriage is obsolete.”

          Oh, the failed futurism.

    3. “People who answer opinion polls think teh gayz are worse for society than whores and aborted fetuses.”

      Okay, I updated the language, but that’s the summary of the lede.

  2. Harry Morgan produced this? His finest acting work here.

  3. What is interesting is in the first minute: less than 10% of people thought that it was a crime.

    Considering that 23% of Americans support the death penalty for denigrating Elvis, Americans seemed pretty damn progressive back than…

    1. What kind of denigration are you talking about? Saying he was derivative of Carl Perkins, or something really bad?

      1. Equating Elvis sequins, which are manly and heterosexual, with Liberace sequins, which are fay and effeminate…

        1. Well Elvis’ sequins illuminated his masculenatly where Liberace’s illuminated his gayness. Problem solved:)

          1. sequins, sexual orientation’s thermoses.

          2. Sequins, sexual orientation’s thermoses.

        2. *shot of guy holding a sequin between each forefinger and thumb, alternatively giving each sequin very serious consideration*

        1. I thought it was too much to hope that that was a link to a clip from “Mystery Train.” Well done. Though points off for lack of Joe Strummer.

          1. Here is some wonderful Joe Strummer footage, Lucy. From Rude Boy.

            Damn, I love The Clash!

            1. Mrghhh. I don’t want to get all A.M. Links, but sigh. Joe Strummer, sigh.

    2. How dare you insult the King! KILL HIM!

  4. I wonder how many of the “progressives” writing panegyrics to Wallace were aware this existed.

    1. Same number that were aware that Bird belonged to the KKK…
      and than ignored this as well:

    2. “It’s ok though, cause he was one of us.”

      ^^Typical Progressive.^^

    3. It’s not Mike Wallace saying that homosexuality is bad. He’s reporting on society’s attitudes. Admittedly the interview time given on a pro/anti basis is pretty lopsided, but the bit about Boise’s failed witch hunt gives the piece an attitude of anti-persecution.

    4. Bill Moyers is even more beloved by Progressives than Wallace. And Moyers spent the 1964 campaign trying to out homosexuals in the Goldwater campaign. That doesn’t seem to have affected their love of Moyers. So I doubt this will affect their love of Wallace.

      It is always okay when one of the good guys does it.

      1. I think the point is that people can repent of their sins.

        Obviously most libs would hate such things today, but they’re not willing to tar someone forever based on their views from four decades ago. Much as libertarians may embrace a standard-issue prog or conservative who “sees the light”. Otherwise we’re saying that only people who have held the “right” views since birth are allowed, and anyone who has ever had a “bad” opinion at any point in their lives is automatically disqualified forever.

        1. Fair enough. But in Moyers case, he never came clean about what he did until confronted with it. Sure, he should be able to repent. But it is also fair to wonder if his repentance is sincere since he only repented after being confronted with it.

          1. I woudl bet that it is sincere (but I am of a forgiving nature). Attitudes about gays have changed enormously and amazingly since then.

        2. And of course, if we are going to start forgiving things from 40 years ago, fine. But that would mean liberals can no longer pretend it is 1968 all over again every election year. Since they have no plans of doing that, I have no problem with despising Moyers for being Johnson’s hatchet man.

          1. True that about liberals and their constant fear of “dog whistles” that only they seem to be able to hear regarding federalism = Jim Crow.

        3. Which is why no one brings up the Ron Paul newsletters anymore.

          1. RP never really repented. He tried hand waving them away and when that didn’t work he said he didn’t agree with them.

          2. No one brings up the Ron Paul newsletters anymore because his campaign for the Republican nomination is a failure.
            Per the Green Papers, of the 1144 delegates needed to nominate Paul has 26 hard delegates or 2.3%. (yes Bevis, I know, he said hard) Delegates already formally pledged or bound by law and/or Party rules.

      2. Yeah, and Thomas Jefferson owned slaves.

        I don’t think you have to excuse everything a person has ever done to respect them and their ideas.

        1. Like I told my old man: “That’s precisely why we call it a mistake — had I known better, I wouldn’t have made it!”

      3. Also spent the last weeks of the ’64 campaign trying to hide the homosexual behaviors of Walter Jenkins as “a nervous breakdown”.

    5. Saying that homosexuality is a disease was progress (sort of). Before that it was just moral degeneracy and perversion.

  5. The most shocking part was how bad their cameras sucked in 1967. Maybe I could see what is going on if they had hired a couple of Hollywood homos to film this thing.

    1. It is a kinescope, which is 3 generations away from the original, further even, in some circumstances.

  6. Lol, ill bet Matt Welch is the homosexuals.

  7. Jimmy: Hey, what gives?

    Jimmy’s Dad: You said you wanted to live in a world without homosexuality, Jimmy. Well, now your wardrobe has no fashion underwear.

    1. “I haven’t heard a speech this eloquent since Bill Shatner told me why he couldn’t pay me back.”

    2. “Three simple words: I am gay.”

  8. If any of you missed the brickbat nutpunch earlier today, don’t despair.

    Here’s one that’s only about 10X worse.

    But when will dunphy come on and defend these actions?

    1. And he hasn’t been charged. And the news networks are all Trayvon all of the time and this gets no coverage. I hate the fucking media.

      1. It’s disgusting. And why would a police spokesperson even need to address it? The dude was off-duty. He needs to be treated like anybody else in Chicago, which would mean he should be unarmed.

        But the double-standard goes both ways, doesn’t it?

        And for a double-dose of idiocy from Chicago (as contrasted with a Team Red state’s handling of a person using a un to defend their property), try this on for size.

        1. How is Chicago anything but a banana republic at this point? Cops are allowed to shoot people with impunity on or off duty while ordinary people cannot so much as defend themselves against someone trying to kill them. It is disgusting. And worst of all, the media has decided to be the guardian of all things cop. So most people don’t even know how bad things actually are.

          1. Has Chicago ever not been that way?

            1. Not since that asshole Upton Sinclair wrote his books filled with lies.


    It is whites only at the Obama campaign headquarters.

    1. Your link besmirched Downton Abbey.

      Pistols at dawn, John. Sorry, this is the only way.

      1. It just pointed out that only upper class white people watch it, which is true.

          1. Wait, are you saying you fucking watch that show? And like it?!?


            1. It’s essentially the same show as Mad Men, just in a different time period.

              So it’s OK.

            2. ha ha! We have different tastes, therefore I shall mock you! Ha ha! Wheee look at meeeee…

              1. Anyway, yeah, what Fluffy said.

            3. Good show, you should try it, especially if you normally like period dramas. I’m sure some people like it for all the wrong reasons, but that’s their problem.

      2. The redheaded maid with the scandalous typewriter is going to play Ygritte on Game of Thrones.

        1. That works.

      3. Indeed! That feeling? The ineluctable frisson one gets from knowing that everyone around you watches Downton Abbey, or maybe even appeared as an extra in a fox-hunting scene on Downton Abbey, or actually was born and raised at Downton Abbey.

        I feel the need to point out that the fox-hunting scene in Downton Abbey includes a filthy, swarthy Turk.

        That means that the fox-hunting scene is, in fact, not white enough to be the Obama campaign HQ.

        1. Anal sex changed life at Downton Abbey forever.

          1. It was a public school, then?

            1. Basically.

          2. Do you think that’s what happened between the Turk and Mary? I hadn’t considered that.

            1. He specifically says that there is a way for her to remain a virgin for her future husband. I’m pretty sure her was after buttsecks and not a blowie.

              It might have been PIV by the time her brought her around, but at first he was after her dirty posie.

              1. I’m pretty sure her was after buttsecks and not a blowie.

                I’ve never seen this show, but if an Ottoman Turk and a Victorian Brit can agree on anything, it’s buttsecks. Sodomy is a backbone tradition of both cultures.

              2. I assumed it was mutual oral or something. Seeing as how she asked if “it would hurt”…

    2. What about the little Asian chick sitting in the front? I only noticed because I was trying to count the backpfeifengesicht.

  10. Here is this from Wallace’s wikipedia entry:

    He graduated from the University of Michigan four years later with a Bachelor of Arts. While a student he was a reporter for the Michigan Daily and belonged to the Alpha Gamma Chapter of Zeta Beta Tau Fraternity.

    Good riddance, asshole. Fuck Michigan!

    1. How did I not catch that, dude? Fucking scUMbag. Another reason to hate that shitfacktory school from up north.

      Also, we got some really good wedding pix with you and your wife. Do you want me to send them?

      1. Yeah, e-mail ’em. I have a couple of photos of you guys too. I’ll e-mail ’em later.

        1. I’ll get on it later today.

            1. Says the guy who has the hots for Uma.

              1. Her penis is small enough it doesn’t count as gay.

  11. Mike Wallace and The Homosexuals

    That’s going into my book of potential band names. Look for a double-billing with these guys.

  12. All you anti-Wallechinskians should watch the vid. Wallace isn’t hating on teh gheys. He plays it down the middle like Lucky Pierre. It’s a good piece, and I can’t figure out why that Boise gay scare hasn’t been made into a movie. Then again, I can’t figure out why the Newport Navy scandal hasn’t been made into a movie.

    1. You know what I can’t figure out why it hasn’t been made into a movie? Starship Troopers

      1. You know who made a movie about Troopers …

      2. “Would you like to know more?”

      3. This must blow your mind then:…..4,317_.jpg

        1. It blew my mind to the point that I can’t even see it!

  13. I can’t figure out why that Boise gay scare hasn’t been made into a movie

    Because Heath Ledger died after making Brokeback Mountain, and we will respect his memory by never making another Rocky Mountain Mountin’ movie.

    I can’t figure out why the Newport Navy scandal hasn’t been made into a movie.

    Gay? Sailors? A little too on the nose, don’t you think?

  14. Christopher Hitchens was quite eloquent at the end of that piece. I just can’t get over how old he already looks as a meer teenager in the late 1960s.

  15. Joker seem to know what the deal is. WOw.

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