Regulation

Brooklyn Parents Hate the Ice Cream Man, Want Someone Else to Do Their Jobs. Again.

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This weekend's New York Post features an almost-too-perfect story about how Brooklyn parents would prefer not to do their own parenting:

They're all screaming for no ice cream.

Overprotective Park Slope parents have declared war on a treasured rite of spring: an ice cream in the park.

[One] angry mother, identified on the site as Dorothy Scanlan, chimed in.

"I should not have to fight with my children every warm day on the playground just so someone can make a living!" the poster wailed. "I too was at the 9th Street Playground on Monday, and one of the vendors just handed my 4-year-old an ice cream cone. I was furious."

The Post piece leave the "there oughta be a law!" message unspoken, other than a passing reference to a "ban," whose nature is otherwise unspecified.

Luckily, The New York Times ran an identical piece in 2009, but with more details!

When Parents Scream Against Ice Cream

Vicki Sell, mother of 3-year-old Katherine, tenses when the vendor starts ringing his little bell, over and over, hoping her daughter doesn't have the typical Pavlovian response.

Ever since Katherine had an inconsolable meltdown about not being able to have a treat, Ms. Sell has been trying to have unlicensed vendors ousted from the park. She has repeatedly called the city's 311 complaint hot line, joining parents nationwide who can't stand the icy man or his motorized big brother, the ice cream man….

"When we were kids you would either get the ice cream or not and then he would just go away," said [Crispin Heidel-Habluetzel, a Portland, Ore., mother of two]. "But they just sit there now, and it's like an hour of 'Can I have ice cream? Can I have ice cream?' It's really the vulturelike behavior that bothers me."

This story appeared in my essay in the 2010 collection New Threats to Freedom, alongside some stuff about ice cream and the Taliban.

More Brooklyn hatin' at Reason TV:

NEXT: Will Whole Foods Destroy Brooklyn?

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  1. Those parents obviously hate their children. And poor people.

  2. I scream, you scream, we all scream “Ban Ice Cream!”

  3. “I should not have to fight with my children every warm day on the playground just so someone can make a living!”

    Too bad. You’re a shitty parent who can’t control their kids. Suck it up, shitbag.

    1. I read that quote and was reminded why I never took that place in Park Slope I had a chance to get a few years ago.

      Fucking horrible people live there. I don’t care how awesome New York is, the vast majority of the people living in the decent neighborhoods are just terrible shitty people.

      I’m just glad they stay in Park Slope.

      1. Question Tman,

        As someone who lives in the South, New York is kind of a mysterious place. Who exactly decides to raise a family in New York City proper rather than move to Jersey or Long Island? Who are these people? What do they do? Why do they live there?

        I am not being cute. I really want to know because I can’t imagine deciding to raise children in a place like New York City.

        1. As someone who lives in the Midwest with family members who are going to give raising kids in the City a whirl, I have to echo these questions. Although if I were a kid and I got the run of the subway system at like 12 or so, that would be pretty sweet. It blows goats living in a small town with no car as a tween/pre-16 year old.

        2. I would. If they can make it in NY, they can make it anywhere. The city is a blast. Great museums for the kids. Great music. Great food, theater, etc.

          Just keep them out of the public schools.

          1. Look darling, a deranged homeless man talking to our neighborhood junkie,

            I can’t imagine it it unless you were there and just too poor to leave or so rich it didn’t matter. I am just curious about the middle class people who choose to do this.

            1. People raising a family in Park Slope are not likely middle class. Average home prices in Manhattan recently hit $1mill.

              Last time I was in that neighborhood to visit my sister I saw a guy leaning on a brand new Porsche whilst taking a dump on the street.

              Such a lovely place!

              1. Just because it had “911” on it, doesn’t mean that was a Porsche… 😉

        3. CC,

          I grew up in Boston and now live in Nashville and I can say without hesitation that the people who are “raising a family” in either Beacon Hill (Boston’s equivalent Park Slope) or somewhere like Park Slope are parents who don’t give a shit about their kids. They love living in the city and being part of the “grand tapestry of the urban environment, blahblahblah)” but yeah, if you can afford Park Slope you can probably afford a nice suburb somewhere outside the city that has decent public schools and neighborhoods that aren’t occasionally hosting a crack party.

          But I think it gets back to the people. One of the things I love about Nashville is the people, who are in my estimation some of the friendliest I’ve ever been around.

          Why put up with assholes just to live near good Pastrami? I don’t get it.

          1. I don’t get it either. Especially now when the country looks so much the same. I have been to New York and the stores and the restaurants were a lot like Atlanta or Charlotte. It is all the same corporate stuff anywhere.

            I could see thinking that New York is a great place to be in college or as a young adult. But I can’t see it at all for a small child. When you are five, your world is your mom and your back yard. You don’t really get a lot out of The Met or that great Greek restaurant down the street.

            1. Keep in mind that many cities, and NY in particular, are hellish to commute in. If you live in Manhattan and work in Manhattan, your commute may be 20-30 min. If you live on Long Island and work in Manhattan, your commute is an hour bare minimum, and likely 2hrs+ each way.

          2. That completely ignores the fact that there are just as many assholes in the burbs as there are in the city. Not to mention most of those no-knock raids happen out there too.

            1. The issue is asshole density. In the burbs, the asshole density is below critical mass, or perhaps critical ass. You have more privacy in the suburbs, and it’s easier to avoid the assholes. Also, assholery feeds on assholery, so a few assholes getting together in the city can metastasize, as otherwise normal people turn into assholes due to the stress.

        4. As someone who has never lived in a city, I always wonder why anyone woudl raise kids in any city. When I was a kid and visited cities, I could never imagine what kids could possibly do in a city.

          To answer your question (even though you didn’t ask me), I think that the people who choose to raise kids in the big city are either rich enough that they can do whatever they want or poor enough that moving to the suburbs isn’t an easy option.

          1. Your silly suburb kids will never grow up with the knowledge of how to arrange a proper bum fight.

            City > Suburb

            1. I’m pretty sure I’ve never lived anywhere that woudl be called a suburb either. I invented a word for the sort of place: “post-rural”.

              I don’t think I ever considered the bum fight angle when I was a kid. I may have to rethink a bit.

              1. I think I know what you mean. I call the area where I grew up (and currently live) semi-rural. It’s somewhere between rural and suburban, but I’ve never heard any other term for it.

                1. There are places which you wouldn’t still call rural necessarily. Most people don’t really work at traditional rural jobs. But there is no big city to be a suburb of.

          2. “I always wonder why anyone woudl raise kids in any city.”

            I can tell you from personal experience that living in a place like Indianapolis is pretty crap; and that’s with living in a “suburb” like Lawrence.

        5. I’m not sure I understand your objection to raising a child in a big city. Further down it sounds like you view the tradeoff as access to culture vs safety for small children?

          In my view the dangers from the boredom of a small town exceed the dangers present in a large city. Especially, as Rev Blue Moon pointed out, the greater access to autonomy for adolescents. I haven’t been to New York, but Seattle is no less safe than any suburban area I’ve lived in.

        6. Charlotte,

          I grew up in the South, and I can testify that you have to know how to take care of yourself despite not living in a big city. You have to be polite to people because they probably have a shotgun in the back seat.

          Not to mention all the natural hazards that don’t exist in the city: chiggers, poison centipedes, black racers, cottonmouths, coral snakes, fire ants, sweltering humidity, armadillos, tornadoes, hurricanes, horse flies, etc.

          I’d much rather raise kids in an environment where they shove their fists into holes at the bottom of ponds to try to catch a catfish, than arranging bum fights. Although, bum fights do sound appealing.

          1. My back yard is bigger than your typical park in NYC. There is an old tobacco farm in the middle of a wooded area I never bothered to tear down. In a few weeks I’m going to indulge one of my favorite activities. Spearing copperheads up in there.

    2. How are your kids doing, Episiarch? I bet they’re growing up to be fine, upstanding citizens with such a great parenting expert for a father. < /sarcasm >

      Taking parenting advice from Epi is like taking cunnilingus advice from Richard Simmons.

      1. Or, anal sex advice from you, party pooper.

  4. Yeah, Crispin Heidel-Habluetzel, because vendors are just going to sit somewhere for an hour not selling anything. It couldn’t be that lily-livered parents like you, Crispin, just give in after 30 seconds of whining and buy an ice cream. People trying to make a buck always act contrary to their own best interests.

  5. a “ban,” whose nature is otherwise unspecified.

    unspecified, the best sort of ban. MUWAHAHAHAHA

  6. My kids whined and complained at every “no,” too, but they eventually came to realize ice cream from the truck was a treat, not a right. It never occurred to me to demand the ice cream man be banned…but I’m not a “liberal.”

    1. i am and a single parent. “no” aint a prob for this lub-rahl. >it tries moar harderz

    2. JEP’s mother: hey! do you want a milkshake?
      JEP: Yeah!
      JEP’s mother: yeah, me too. Too bad we can’t have one.

  7. Ms. Sell has been trying to have unlicensed vendors ousted from the park

    The license makes it all better.

  8. Lazy mother! True mothers do not take children to the park. True mothers make children do homework and practice piano until bedtime.

    1. Bedtime? What worthless mother lets their children sleep before their fingers are bleeding from the designated 10 hour practice session?

    2. Piano?! Do you want your child to be some lounge singer or a piano-player in a whorehouse!

      I make my child study violin and Latin! At the same time!

      1. Cello and ancient Sanskrit. I would’ve gone Aramaic but I decided it was far to Judeo-Christian centric for the Ivys to take seriously. WTF is wrong with you?

        1. Okarina and Nahuatl. My children will live in a diverse, multicultural world and I mean for them to be prepared.

      2. How about Spanish, Hebrew, and Arabic?

    3. I though nannies took people’s kids to the park.

  9. Ever since Katherine had an inconsolable meltdown about not being able to have a treat, Ms. Sell has been trying to have unlicensed vendors ousted from the park.

    Gosh, where could she have learned that from?

    I hope that all of their children rebel and become rational, independent adults.

    1. Yeah, sounds to me like Mom is the one having the meltdown here.

  10. What kind of parent doesn’t have the fortitude to tell the kid “no” and mean it? If you can’t control your kids, don’t have them. It makes the world a much worse place when kids cannot control themselves because parents are too lazy or incompetent to disipline them.

    1. I actually had to check the date of the article and make sure it wasn’t from yesterday.

      Once again, I have further evidence that the editors of The Onion managed to procure a time machine and travel far enough into the future, if only to parody it to the unsuspecting rubes of the 1990’s.

      This is the only possible explanation for their prescient genius.

  11. For once, someone is thinking about the children. We can’t have these magic-men prancing around, promising free ice cream and treats, and when the kids go running into the wagon – BAM! – they find themselves in a cage!

    1. That’s a great point. Also, we don’t have Benny Hill around any more to help rescue them.

      1. “they find themselves in a cage”

        The inside of the ice-cream truck is a public school?

  12. everyone is claiming shitty parenting because these parents can’t resist their children’s demands.

    really, they’re shitty parents for not buying their kids some fucking ice cream.

    Seriously, isn’t “day at the park” THE BEST TIME for ice cream if you’re trying to teach your kid responsible consumption? Treats On Special Occasions? It’s outside, so no clean up, the kid is being active so calories taken care of. It’s THE DEFINITION of Optimal Ice Cream Opportunity.

    Parents: stop being shitty, and buy your kids ice cream.

    1. You’re one of them unlicensed ice-cream vendors, aren’t you?

      Buy them ice-cream or don’t, I care not. But don’t ban the ice-cream man because you can’t tell your kid ‘no.’

    2. +

    3. Envision:

      A perfectly flat, unbroken square of astroturf, where children dressed in grey uniforms perform scripted non-contact exercise routines while loudspeakers issue self-esteem affirmations. Vendors around the square offer BPA-free bottled water, non-dairy sugar-free carob flavored frozen treat, and paper surgical masks. Parents watch from outside the fence.

      1. Astroturf?!?!? Do you want teh childrunz to get turf toe and rug burn?!? YOU MONSTER!

        1. they haven’t developed SafetyTurf yet? Fine, then carpeting.

          1. In all seriousness, there is a special rubber padding they make for playgrounds. I kid you not. The only problem is that it gets really hot in the summer.

              1. * Ramps connect structures
                * Swings have high backs, arm rests and special safety features
                * Rubber surfacing allows wheelchairs to roll easily
                * Lowered monkey bars provide easy access
                * Equipment is designed to be sensory rich so all children can participate with peers
                * Wider openings allows easy access to play structures

                That doesn’t sound very fun.

                1. It sounds horrible. Two of my finest scars are from playing on the monkey bars.

              2. Oh man, Clemyjontri. I pass by there sometimes on my way home from puppy class. It looks like the tackiest playground on the face of the earth. And it’s gotta be the 7th circle of my worst nightmare with all the screaming shits running around.

      2. paper surgical masks…made by Georgia Pacific no doubt you Kochsucker!

      3. That’s the UK right now, isn’t it?

    4. Parents: stop being shitty, and buy your kids ice cream.

      You are just a propagandist for big ice-cream.

      1. I’ll take BIG ICE CREAM over those BIG CONSTITUTION jerks any day of the week.

    5. I’d say that’s up to the individual parent. I imagine some go to the park frequently and don’t want their kids having ice cream every time. Which is their problem and no one else’s, of course.

    6. Er, from the article it sounds like they are resisting their kids’ demands; they’re just annoyed by the added annoyance of having to do it over and over and over again.

    7. fried wylie,

      Don’t you know that ice cream cones and popsicles look like penises, and are therefore symbols of the oppressive patriarchy?

      1. know it?! I’m basing a business model on it!

  13. You should have heard the hellish, wailing shitstorm I unleashed last night, when I disconnected the Xbox and put it away for the indefinite future.

    It would put any of these mothers on the Intensive Care Fainting Couch.

    1. well that’s just cruel.

      On a similar thread a few months back, I recall someone writing that he had cleared out his kid’s room of all toys and furniture to illustrate the point that they were his and not the child’s.

      I filed that one away for future use.

      1. I did that once. Hell, I shut off the power to the kid’s bedroom for an afternoon one time, when he refused to help me with some yard work.

    2. I disconnected the Xbox and put it away for the indefinite future.

      What did the kids do?

      1. I’ll put money on having the temerity to speak before being spoken to. I got $20.

      2. also this:

        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YersIyzsOpc

        I think if this kid got denied icecream when he was younger the reaction would have been less over the top.

    3. JW, you probably didn’t enjoy doing that, did you? Of course not. But it had to be done for whatever reason.

      So you can understand someone not wanting to be put in that position more than necessary, no?

  14. “I should not have to fight with my children every warm day on the playground just so someone can make a living!”

    And I shouldn’t have to fight with my children ever. But such is life and the little bastards are always wanting something. How many Zuccotti Park fuckwits had parents like this and still believe that if they complain long enough somebody will give in?

    1. hit them moar harder

  15. I for one can’t wait until the budding Veruca Salts these parents are raising are old enough to run things. The future is looking bright!

      1. Only if you’re studying nuclear science and have a crazy teacher who wears dark glasses.

      2. I was sure that if anybody responded to that post by linking a music video, it was going to be Volcano Girls.

        +100 points for going with the less obvious joke.

        1. Well, Seether will always be my favorite Veruca Salt so I probably would have linked that. But The Future’s So Bright was the first thing that popped into my head.

        2. I thought it **was** the obvious joke.

  16. If there was no TV and we all lived in caves then children would never want anything and life would be swell.

    1. ‘She is closer to the cave mouth than I am.’
      ‘Why do I have to go and get the water, I did it last time?’
      ‘She has my cave-bear rattle and won’t give it back.’
      ‘No, you can’t go hunting with the older kids, not until next year.’

      Life would still be trying for a parent.

  17. Ever since Katherine had an inconsolable meltdown about not being able to have a treat,

    Is this article about children in New York or Obama supporters?

    1. Shut up rectal.

      1. I do not think Rather would criticize the holy one.

        She prefers to focus on men being artless or something.

        1. Nahh….she just wants attention….and will play any role!

  18. Die Hipster is all over this:

    http://diehipster.wordpress.co…..-brooklyn/

    1. That guy is brilliant

      I guarantee you, if some pasty, emaciated lumberjackish beardo walked through the playground with a cart that said “Colby’s Organic Seaweed Smoothies” on the side or “Holly’s Frozen Breastmilk Parfaits” these Park Slope parents would be doing cartwheels with cash in hand.

      1. His Hipster Murder Fantasies are particularly enjoyable

        Today’s hipster beating.
        Posted: March 23, 2012 | Author: diehipster | Filed under: Today’s hipster beating. | 39 Comments ?
        Today, at the crack of dawn at 11:30 am, I saw Harrison the angel hair pasta armed barista and Hamilton the toothbrush shaped graffiti photographer racing their unicycles around McCarren Park. So I got my bow and shot a Rambo dynamite arrow into each of their backs ? ending the race. End of story.

      2. MOAR

        Today’s hipster beating.
        Posted: March 16, 2012 | Author: diehipster | Filed under: Today’s hipster beating. | 56 Comments ?
        Today, I saw Ajax adjusting his man-bun as he exited the 9 trillionth Thai restaurant in North Brooklyn where he nasally honked into his phone for an hour to his friend Toby back in Oregon about how his artisanal fair trade cupcake and bee keeping collective is helping transform Brooklyn into the magical, cultural and whimsical center of the world. So my only option was to grab my sledgehammer and pound his fucking inbred face in. End of story.

        1. Thanks. You just stole the rest of my day on that website. You would think people would be self aware enough to avoid being a walking cliche. But apparently not.

          1. Yep, me too. I may miss my bus due to that site!

      3. Today’s hipster beating.
        Posted: January 25, 2012 | Author: diehipster | Filed under: Today’s hipster beating. | 33 Comments ?
        Today as I was doing drive-by M-80 tossings into artisanal coffee shops full of safety pin-bodied gentrifiers who vapidly stare into their MacBooks I saw Colby ‘becoming one’ with Brooklyn while doing yoga on a Twister mat as his friend Jasper video taped him for his YouTube debut. So I slathered him in Alpo, wrapped him up with the floor mat like a doggy bag and locked him in the back of the U-Haul he arrived in from Ohio with a pack of starving pitbulls. End of story.

        I am impress.

      4. Awwww. Poor, poor white, privileged, suburban, Rice Krispy treat eating and Sunny-D drinking hipsters who are now edgy because they are on a Brooklyn pioneering expedition thanks to Mommy and Daddy’s bank accounts. They feel they’re getting profiled and targeted for getting frisked by the NYPD. Well GOOD FOR YOU FUCKING CALEB!

        “It’s not about race. It’s about class,” said goth guitarist Nate Morgan, 20, detailing several recent encounters with cops in East Williamsburg. “I have a mohawk. They stereotype me.” – From Daily News article.

        1. “It’s not about race. It’s about class,” said goth guitarist Nate Morgan, 20, detailing several recent encounters with cops in East Williamsburg. “I have a mohawk. They stereotype me.” – From Daily News article

          Hair grows. Wigs are available for sale. Melanin is a bit trickier to alter.

    2. That’s the best web site I have ever read. I feel liked I have failed in my hipster-hating for never having read it before!

    3. They actually are having an Easter Egg hunt in New York.

  19. it’s like an hour of ‘Can I have ice cream? Can I have ice cream?’ It’s really the vulturelike behavior that bothers me.”

    I am not in the habit of repeating myself and certainly not to children. I say no once. Further inquiries as to same subject will be met with swift and appropriately harsh punitive measures.

    Parenting is not democracy, it’s absolute monarchy. The monarch may be merciful, even kind, but a monarch must always be respected and feared or he will not be monarch for long.

    1. I agree. There is an easy response to the kid begging for ice cream at the park.

      “I told you ‘no.’ Ask me again, we can go home, and you can sit in your room.”

      Of course, the problem is the parent in this case does not want to tell their kid no, so they would rather the kid not be presented with the option.

      1. Replace “ice cream” with “free health care”, and you can see how these yupster youth will turn out in a decade.

        Then again… we have them now.

        1. yea, they’re called seniors on medicare duh

          1. Stopped Clock Syndrome says … you’re right!

  20. Ever since Katherine had an inconsolable meltdown about not being able to have a treat

    That’s your own damn fault for teaching your child that your job as a parent is to please the spoiled piece of shit and protect it from having to want.

    He bitch, here’s an opportunity to teach your little ray of sunshine that she can’t always have every little thing that she wants.

    \rant

    1. *Hey*

    2. Parenting is so easy when it involves typing on a keyboard.

      1. At least they’re not trying to get the government involved to coerce parents into raising their kids a certain way.

      2. From a pasty math nerd who will never be a parent unless he knocks up a prostitute.

      3. Damn right. That’s how I’ll raise my kids. Forget television, the INTERNET is the greatest babysitter.

  21. I will note, for the benefit of the knee-jerk-“new york sucks!”-crowd, that the majority of the residents in park slope who represent this Uber-Nanny mentality are generally transplanted suburban out-of-towners who want to create a progressive-liberal-mecca of political correctness.

    I’d argue the piece is appealing to the Post in particular, as something to make their largely-working-class, ‘real new yorker’-readership laugh out loud in contempt at these hysterical yuppie losers.

    In fact, looking at the comments on the piece – Exactamundo! Typical example =

    I’m originally from the Park Slope area and back in the day we were a neighborhood of hard working blue collar people, now it’s a neighborhood of stuck up obnoxious yuppies that have no grasp on reality…

    repeat X 100.

    1. There are idiots everywhere, it’s just that the ones in NYC have so much more scrutiny on them, and a bored and lazy media to give them a loud voice.

      1. The idiots in New York have an entire weekly magazine called “The New York Times Lifestyle Section” devoted to their exploits.

        1. sadly, my friend is the editor.

          1. I love to read it. It is like a real life Onion.

    2. If there are so many “real New Yorkers” who hate this kind of stuff, why does the city keep electing Bloomburg?

      1. why does the city keep electing Bloomburg?

        Because the “other guy” is actually *worse*. Fool.

    3. I agree with this, there are still neighborhoods in NYC that aren’t completely overrun with the “transplanted suburban out-of-towners who want to create a progressive-liberal-mecca of political correctness.”

      Unfortunately these particular neighborhoods- the one without the douchebags- are not exactly the safest in the city. In any city, for that matter.

      I still love playing the “Good block, bad block” guessing game once you get north of W110th.

      1. I have some friends that live in Astoria, Queens, and while it does seem to be getting more and more douchbaggy, it is still pretty reasonable rent-wise (for NYC) and it’s still a pretty cool ethnic sort of neighborhood (lots of Greeks and Colombians).

      2. Next time you do, fire this tune up.

        Bobby Womack-Across 110th Street

    4. Sadly, when all the crime that was scaring the suburbanties went away, they flooded into New York and changed it into Rich Person Disneyland.

      I’m not saying the crime is good, but by lowering property values and rent, it got you places like CBGBs or the tapestry that was Saint Mark’s Place back in the day (to wit: Nazi gas masks in store windows!).

      I just feel that places like CBGBs simply could not open today. Too much hand wringing from the neighbors. Maybe in the Bronx or Queens.

  22. Unfortunately, these kids are going to grow up and become dickless assholes, just like their parents. Screw ’em.

  23. And here is what these kids grow up into

    http://www.theawl.com/2011/01/…..ticle-ever

  24. This is small potatoes, people. Wait til you have to try to describe to your kid what that extremist racist with a Ron Paul sign is doing in your park.

    1. I think hipsters support Ron Paul ironically.

  25. ‘Can I have ice cream? Can I have ice cream?’

    1. No, not today.
    2. No. Ask me again and you won’t get any the next time I feel like buying you some and we’ll leave.

    It’s really not that hard. It’s certainly easier than living in the same house with an entitled fuck of a child for 14+ more years because you were too fucking gutless to be a parent.

    1. Yeah. I’m enough of a prick that my youngest is 16…and I’ve STILL never taken any of them to Disney World.

      Amazingly, they never asked once I said, “Not happening…” “But my friends….” “NOT. Happening…” “OK…”

      Imagine how easy it was to say “no” to ice cream. Or yes when I decided it OK?

      1. Was I the only kid ever who never wanted to go to Disney World?

        1. No. It always looked hokie and stupid to me.

          1. Strangely, I enjoyed it more going back as an adult than I did as a child. A combination of it being highly available in childhood (lived in Orange County, grandparents got free tickets cause they knew someone) and the fact that holy shit this park is full of high school girls who seem to think I am the hottest thing ever. Now I know that sounds creepy, but I think of it along the same lines as being checked out by gay men – a compliment is a compliment, even if you don’t have any desire to follow through on it.

            1. How old were you? If you were in your 20s, not creepy at all. 30s or 40s? Maybe.

          2. Me three. My wife thinks I was a monster; and since I still don’t want to go to Disney World, I guess I still am.

            (In my day there was only Disneyland, but the principle is the same.)

      2. I’ve never taken the family either. Also, as a bonus, my kids are 16 and 11 and neither have a cell phone of any kind. And they have one computer they have to share.

      3. Curious Almanian, do people in Mickey and Minnie costumes follow your kids around reminding them how great Disneyworld is every day?

        If not, it’s not a very good analogy.

  26. These parents will be completely baffled when their snowflakes turn into spoiled monster teenagers with no common sense or self control and wind up knocked-up/murdered/suicidal/on drugs/runaway/crashing pop’s BMW/murdering the parental units/sitting in a OWS tent or any combination of the above.

    1. Doing drugs as a teenager seems to be bored rich kid 101. I grew up with enough of them to know, although I didn’t indulge until college.

  27. These parents are…something. Words fail me. When my kids wanted something when they were little, I either said “yes” or “no.” And stood by it. What a concept.

  28. Our parents used to take my sister and I to visit our grandparents on Sunday afternoons. On the way home there was always a Good Humor ice cream trucked parked at one of the crossroads we had to drive through. Sometimes we stopped for ice cream. Sometimes we didn’t. They taught us we couldn’t have ice cream all the time. We didn’t whine when we didn’t get any ice cream.

  29. Maybe they should just whip their kids ass and tell them no.

    1. That’s a sure way to have the kids taken away and the parents hauled in for “re-education”.

  30. Relevant link is relevant
    Bangarang

  31. This post obscures what’s going on here. We’re not talking about the ice cream truck driving down the street and having to deal with kids whining about ice cream for a few minutes. We’re talking about them parking ON SOMEONE ELSE’S PROPERTY and plying their trade. No one is calling for Culver’s or Baskin Robbins to be banned because their kids want to go there, just trying to get rid of the annoyance of trucks setting up shop wherever there happen to be kids around.

    I don’t see it as much of a restriction on freedom to demand that you do business on your own property or on private property the owner agrees to let you use. A park isn’t supposed to be a food court.

  32. And if one of the drivers gave a kid free ice cream without the parents’ permission that’s BS.

    Also, it’s hilarious to see all the childless people on this thread (starting with KMW herself) talking about how parents who don’t have total and absolute control over their children at all times and places are “shitty parents”. Parenting is a pain in the flerking butt. Sometimes you have little choice but to remove your children from the presence of what they want. Which is hard to do when it follows them around.

    1. I’ll admit that I don’t have kids, but I remember sitting in a booth at a diner with my parents one day while in college and rolling my eyes because the little brats behind me wouldn’t stop screaming and running around. My dad says, “you and your sister were NEVER like that.” And no, we weren’t natural born angels. But my parents parented us at home, so that we would behave in public.

      1. But it was probably a PITA to get you to behave in public.

        It doesn’t sound like these parents are objecting to having to say no to their children EVER — kids want and ask for a lot of things besides ice cream from a dingy truck — they’re just objecting to having to deal with more drama every time they go to the park, which is supposed to be a fun place rather than a deprivation lesson.

        1. Whoever is spoofing Tulpa…NOT COOL.

          I mean, even he’s not this fucking retarded.

          1. I can only hope that’s it, JW.

    2. (starting with KMW herself)

      Fail. Or am I thinking of a different writer?

  33. “the only kid of ice cream hipster kids need”

  34. Oh wow, she is cute!

    http://www.Surf-Tools.tk

  35. Black is beautiful

  36. “Ever since Katherine had an inconsolable meltdown about not being able to have a treat, Ms. Sell has been trying to have unlicensed vendors ousted from the park.”

    Oompa Loompa doompadee doo
    I’ve got another puzzle for you
    Oompa Loompa doompadah dee
    If you are wise you will listen to me

    Who do you blame when your kid is a brat
    Pampered and spoiled like a Siamese cat?
    Blaming the kids is a lion of shame
    You know exactly who’s to blame:…

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