Will Sha Na Na Play at the "Woodstock for Non-Believers"? Will Richard Dawkins Step in for Bowzer?


This weekend, atheists will descend upon Washington, D.C. for the "Reason Rally," which has nothing to do with this site or mag and is being billed by promoters as the "Woodstock for nonbelievers."

From a Politico story:

Paul Fidalgo, communications director at the Center for Inquiry, said that, despite appearances, this isn't a rally about believing in nothing. There's actually an agenda involved — and that includes current politics, the 2012 race and President Barack Obama.

"There isn't one specific issue we're going out there to rally on behalf of. But that's not to say that there aren't shared values and a shared agenda amongst the various groups," he said.

Among the issues: international anti-blasphemy laws, the recent clash over contraception and the Republican presidential race.

"The right has so commingled themselves with religion," Fidalgo said. "I will say that I do find it interesting that in an election season in which the main issue is ostensibly about the economy, that in recent weeks it's been issues surrounding religion that have become so central."

Fidalgo said the majority of atheists are "center left" (with a sprinkling of libertarians), but makes it clear that this is not an event supporting one party or the other.

More here.

Organizers think somewhere around 20,000 or 30,000 people who will be going to directly to hell if there is a God may show up.

The slate of speakers is headlined by Richard Dawkins, who is often described as the sort of atheist that makes you want to believe in a god powerful enough to shut him up already, and several friends of Reason (magazine, .com, .tv) such as the great Penn Jillette, Adam Savage of Mythbusters, and Dr. Michael Shermer. Other speakers include Roy Speckhardt of the American Humanist Association, Rep. Pete Stark (D-Calif and the only openly atheist member of Congress), and the band Bad Religion. Go here for a full list and more info.

Regarding the headline allusion: Godawful nostalgia goof-band Sha Na Na didn't simply play at Woodstock, they were the penultimate group, appearing just before Jimi Hendrix hit the stage.

A personal note: I call myself an Apatheist, because I just don't care about the topic of God/Not God very much. Some of my best friends are atheists and others are believers. More power to 'em both.

Here's a great conversation we had recently with Penn:

NEXT: Mother of College Student Who Smoked Synthetic Marijuana,Then Crashed His Car and Died, Says Rand Paul "has blood on his hands"

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  1. “Woodstock for nonbelievers.”

    That sounds terrible.

    1. I yearn for the days of the real Woodstock, when believers and non-believers alike stood up to be counted together to fight for peace, love and freedom. Of course, all of those people are now left-wing assholes that want to run our life from a secularist “rich people suck” point of view, but at least they were decent people at some point.

      1. It began at Woodstock when as a group the decided to skip the ticket purchasing step. Soon followed by skipping baths, skipping finding an appropriate place to shit, etc.

        1. To get back to the warning that I received. You may take it with however many grains of salt that you wish. That the brown acid that is circulating around us isn’t too good. It is suggested that you stay away from that. Of course it’s your own trip. So be my guest, but please be advised that there is a warning on that one, ok?

            1. Is that all French bread then?

              1. Apparently so.

                1. Guess it’ll be all sourdough from now on, then.

            2. “At least five people died, dozens were interned in asylums and hundreds afflicted.”
              Unpossible. All of the old fart acid heads say this is impossible and any reports of ill effects are government lies.

  2. “God is dead.”–Nietzsche

    “Nietzsche is dead.”–God

    1. That’s always been a fantastic T-shirt for identifying people who don’t know a fucking thing about Nietzsche.

      1. Don’t tell me you have to read Also sprach Zarathustra to know what Nietzsche was talking about!

        1. You are worse than a desiccated clot coughed out of Nancy Pelosi’s mummygina.

          1. A ubermensch is you!

          2. I can accept that.

        2. Episiarch, you know that apes don’t read philosophy.

          1. Yes they do, ProL. They just don’t understand what Zarathustra’s point was.

            1. Heck, neither do I. Guess I’m an ape. Maybe a man-ape. Or a Grape-Ape.

                1. That’s it! My brother used to watch that, driving me insane with the constant repetition of “Grape-Ape, Grape-Ape.”

          2. All beings so far have created something beyond themselves; and do you want to be the ebb of this great flood and even go back to the beasts rather than overcome man? What is the ape to man? A laughingstock or a painful embarrassment. And man shall be just that for the overman: a laughingstock or a painful embarrassment. You have made your way from worm to man, and much in you is still worm. Once you were apes, and even now, too, man is more ape than any ape.

            1. See, even Nietzsche agrees with me. . .from BEYOND THE GRAVE!

      2. I may be serious, but I do understand a joke when I read one.

    2. “God is Love”

      “Love is Blind”

      “Ray Charles is Blind”

      “Ray Charles is God!”

  3. I have no interests in events like this or have any sort of common identity with other non-believers. Don’t really understand people who do.

    1. Apatheist – I like it.

      …and I agree

  4. Comedy Bang Bang, Andy Daly, Sha Na Na, and hilarity:

    1. dip-didda-dip-wow

      People kept on saying whats up hot dog, so here I am!

  5. Fuck, I still remember Sha Na Na’s TV show from when I was a little kid. Thank Science TV has improved as much as it has.

    This event, like any large crowd event, will be stupid beyond comprehension. I think we should create a law for it or something. Let’s call it Bowzer’s Law.

    1. So is “thank Science” what all the cool kids are saying these days?

      Sounds retarded.

      1. And you clearly don’t get South Park references, which makes you retarded.

        1. Ah, I didn’t know it was a SP reference.

          That’s less retarded.

          1. More or less retarded than NutraSweet?

            1. Er, uh. Duh.

                1. How many ersatz sugars do we need in one thread?

        2. TIMMY!

          Trying living with that one, you fuck.

          1. My real name is Tim as well, and here’s a funny story for you-

            I was one floor up and across the hall from Trey and Matt in the Cheyenne Arapahoe dorm at UC boulder in 1990.

            Thanks a lot for the “TIMMMAH” reference guys.

            1. No one understands or suffering, we should be given preference for Federal jobs or something.

            2. I’m just impressed that a retard got into college. Sure it was just UC Boulder, but good job, little buddy. We are all very proud of you.

              1. And I got early admission.

                Not bad for a retard.

              2. AT least back in ’90 college made sense.
                What do you call a person who pays $200,000 to get a degree in Feminist Theory of Economics ?

                1. Even back in 1990 it didn’t make sense. I never graduated from UC. I took one year and then my folks said I had to pay for the next three and I said “for this? Fuck that. Imma go play in a band.”

                  Boulder was a dumb place to go be responsible about your future.

                2. Obama’s economic adviser?

    2. Thank Science TV has improved as much as it has.

      [Citation Required]

        1. If you had posted this, I would possibly agree.

          1. But on the whole, let’s compare TV from 1977 and TV from 2011.

            There’s no comparison to which was better. And it ain’t the slate of “reality” TV shit that’s on today.

            1. Dude, if you are actually saying that the shit that was on the three channels that existed back in 1977 is preferable to all the choices we have now, I have to conclude that you are either insane, fucking retarded, or 97 years old. Which is it?

              1. A few flowers in an acre of shit is still an acre of shit. And cable existed in 1977. I can remember watching hour after hour of great cartoons on WGN and TBS right before or after the baseball or basketball game.

                Compared to channel after channel of mindless minutiae that clogs the airwaves today, I’d have to say it was better. At least as far as primetime goes. Of course, there are more sports available now on TV and that’s a net plus. But the few great shows on HBO (and I stress few) and South Park don’t stack up when lumped together with the steaming pile of shit the majority of programming is.

                1. You’re aware you can still watch TV from 1977, right sloop? Also: channels and channels of porn.

                  1. channels and channels of porn.

                    The internet != TV.

                    Fine, I’ll concede this one, however grudgingly, to Epi. But only because I can still watch the good stuff.

                2. Please list the amazingly great shows that were on in 1977. Bonus points for providing a list that doesn’t make me laugh out loud.

                  1. Hee Haw.

                    1. Hee Haw

                      I told you not to make me laugh.

                    2. Have you watched it? Really, go watch it right now. We’ll wait.

                    3. I’ve watched it. It’s too southern for me to handle.

                    4. I’m just kidding. The only time I ever saw it was as a captive of my grandparents. Still, it was better than the other show they put on, Lawrence Welk.

                  2. M*A*S*H
                    Threes Company
                    Happy Days
                    The Bob Newhart Show
                    The Jeffersons
                    All In The Family
                    Barney Miller
                    Hawaii Five-O
                    Fantasy Island
                    The Rockford Files
                    Starsky and Hutch
                    Not to mention the MNF was called by Frank Gifford, Howard Cosell and Dandy Don Meredith
                    and SNL’s cast was: Belishi, Aykroyd, Chase, Curtin, Murray, Radner and Newman.

                    1. You left off Hee Haw. And Sanford and Son, ugly.

                    2. Sanford and Son was in it’s last season in 1977. It was a shell of it’s greatness by then. As far as Hee-Haw, I should be ashamed I forgot it.

                    3. I am more than happy to trade every show you mentioned for Breaking Bad alone.

                    4. Dude, have you gone back and watched any of these shows lately? Some of them are absurdly bad.

                      However, I will grant you Sanford and Son and Barney Miller.

                      (I used to eat in the same diner as Steve Landesberg all the time back when I lived on the Upper East Side, and came across Abe Vigoda walking his dog once or twice too)

                    5. Why did Abe Vigoda walk Steve Landesberg’s dog? Dish, dish!

                    6. Abe doesn’t walk his own dog, moron. He’s Abe fucking Vigoda. Who better to walk his dog for him than his bitch Dietrich?

                    7. Still alive! I even watched Fish.

                    8. All In The Family?
                      Threes Company?
                      The Bob Newhart Show?
                      Are you out of your fucking mind? Name me 6 primetime shows from today from that genre that compare to your 2 and my 4.

                    9. add Soap to that list and go for 7.

                    10. 1977 M*A*S*H, no. Early, M*A*S*H, yes.

                      Three’s Company, are you insane?

                      The Bob Newhart Show, hell yes.

                    11. Three’s Company was brilliant. Great physical comedy, classic making-fun-of-homos that was acceptable, loads of sexism and Norman fucking Fell (although Don Knotts was awesome too).

                    12. All in The Family is overrated shit, sorry. MASH was pretty great for a time but got fucking terrible after Alan Alda took over. I love Bob Newhart, but comedy has evolved over the years and his mild-mannered shtick seems really weak nowadays. Three’s Company was always retarded.

                      I’ll take Always Sunny (seasons 1 through 4 and some of 5) over any of that stuff in an instant. I’ll take Boardwalk Empire, Game of Thrones, Entourage, Community, Supernatural, South Park and many others too.

                      Nostalgia is pernicious. Watch out for it.

                    13. “All in The Family” is overrated shit, sorry.

                      Wow. Just, wow. It had such an impact on society. No TV show today could claim to have the impact it did. Not even The O’Reilly Factor.

                    14. DON’T TALK SHIT ABOUT O’REILLY

                    15. I agree that it was an important, historic show, but I’m not sure I really like it that much these days.

                      Now, Maude, there’s a show.

                    16. Entourage Epi? Seriously? It’s basically Grey’s Anatomy for men.

                    17. Entourage, Community, Supernatural,

                      Did you pick those yourself, or did you ask the retarded stroke victim child from down the hall to throw three darts at a TV Guide?

                      Talk about awful.

                    18. Talk about awful.

                      It’s good to know you’re not afraid to admit you have no taste, Ken. That’s very mature of you, and I commend you.

                    19. I know you are but what am I? No tagbacks!

                    20. You know, the 70s were a really strange time. Like stranger than now, even.

                    21. I was there the whole time. What happened?

                    22. I’m rubber you’re glue whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you!

                    23. The Rockford Files was one of the main reasons I moved to LA. Bob Newhart Show and Barney Miller are two of the funniest fucking shows that ever existed. Three’s Company because of the high T&A quotient. Also, Columbo because Peter Falk is hilarious, and the guest stars ham it up so much. Finally, Hawaii 5-0 because of Jack Lord’s hair.

                    24. And the Hawaii 5-0 theme. To this day, it’s an unusual canoe or kayak trip that I don’t start humming that at some point.

                    25. The 5-0 theme gets me revved up every time I hear it.

                    26. Possibly the greatest opening credit footage ever.

                3. Cartoons were better back then because you (I presume) were a kid back then. It’s not like kids today can’t watch hour after hour of great cartoons.

                  1. The classic cartoons of yesteryear are censored to protect today’s snowflakes.

                    1. All I need is some Jonny Quest and I’m good.

                  2. I have a 12 and 13 year old. They prefer the cartoons of yesteryear because they are more violent, more stereotypical and just more fun.

                    Tell me, could you get away with the shit from Tom & Jerry today? Or try pitching Speedy Gonzalez to Warner Bros.

                    As soon as GI Joe started shooting helicopters out of the sky only to see the pilot escape in a parachute and end up a prisoner, cartoons became shit.

                    1. Just got to watch the right cartoons.

                      Archer, South Park, various Japanese Anime, ATHF, Venture Bros., etc.

  6. One of your best alt-texts, Nick.

  7. I’ll just leave this here.

      1. I’m not clicking on anymore of those, because inevitably one’s going to depict a sex act and then I’ll be a wanted criminal, at least in Canada.

  8. We stuck on “Atheist” today?

    1. It’s the refreshing cool mint flavor of Friday afternoons.

      1. Hell, if it were up to me it would be all hooker and porn threads. Maybe some Star Trek.

        1. Post-human robot Star Trek hooker abortion porn bris.

          1. Oh, you know anonbot’s gonna have something to say about that.

            1. LOL, I know, right?

        2. What about pizza and beer, shithead?

          1. What about FUCK YOU, you fuck.

        3. Game of Thrones, too. Who else is super-excited to see how they play Brienne?

          1. TV demands hotness, faithfulness to the text will take one for Team HBO.

            1. Didn’t happen when they cast Loras and Margaery. Loras looks like the High Evolutionary got a hold of a roadkill toad and Margaery is played by a 30-year-old whose face is so lopsided she looks like she had a stroke.

              1. Gerbil teeth!

                1. Brienne actress in costume. Again, way too fucking old. What the shit, HBO?

              2. She’s overcome her disability! Respect her! Like this guy.

            2. HBO has never been overly concerned with that, just watch Rome.

              1. How will a certain face mutilated character be portrayed? Hmm?

                1. How will a certain face mutilated character be portrayed?

                  Episiarch? I imagine they will just shave a fat dog’s asshole to play him.

                  1. Fat?!?

                    1. Skinny dogs can’t walk backwards. That’s basic fucking science, you ignorant redneck.

                    2. Redneck?!?

                    3. The science is settled!

          2. Proto-feminist nag. She’ll be a giant Lisa Simpson.

            1. Also, do you suppose she’s a descendant of Dunk? She had his shield at one point, remember.

            2. Spoiler: she marries Hodor and they move to Bravo (the network, not the island).

              1. Also:
                Jeyne Westerling will be played by Flo, from the Progressive commercials.

                1. Jeyne. She looks Pentoshi to me.

              2. HODOR

                1. I just started reading the series, and every time there’s a “Hodor!” I think, “TIMMAY!”
                  That’s not just me, right?

                  1. And then I think of Robb riding around on the back of Timmy’s motorized wheelchair and then I just have to close the book and do a shot.

    2. Mark Steyn filled in for Rush today, so Reason had to come up with its own material.

  9. Now that I’m a Muslim, my urge to bomb this dweebfest feels more, like, real, y’know? It’s not different, but it’s…transcendent.

    To the strip club!

  10. Abe Simpson: “Bring on Sha Na Na!”
    *Bowzer for President*

    1. Sha Na Na were the kings of Woodstock, deep in your hearts you know it’s true. All those lids are Berkley dressed like Bowser. They didn’t like the Stones or the Who.

  11. Friday afternoon atheism pissing match? Fuck that. Time for probably-NSFW Brazilian game show goodness.

    I’d have picked #2 too.

    1. If there was a God, he’d have made me a judge on that show.

    2. So you picked the manliest one. Figures.

      1. You picked Anderson Silva, didn’t you?

  12. That cartoon actually happened to me in life. I was not even an unbeliever or anything, but I told a kid a grade under when I was around ten just for the Hell of it, ‘God is dead. He is buried under that big hill past the baseball field. You want to go see?’ He didn’t want to. He just ran as fast as he could.

    Our parents are actually friends, and, this is not made up, even though it may sound a little too perfect, but I found out from his mom, he is now a vegan hippie living in Seattle with a woman who looks most unlike a woman. Don’t ever fuck with people like that, or you’ll create a progressive like I did!

    1. 😛

  13. Astrocytes are a star-shaped cell of the glial series, found exclusively in the central nervous system which is lined by them in a contiguous and essentially non-overlapping manner. They outnumber CNS neurons about fivefold in man. They respond to all forms of CNS insults by a process of reactive astrogliosis. Histochemical identification is usually by their expression of glial fibrillary acid protein (GFAP) but they may not express this in non-reactive situations.

    1. The glia is composed of glial cells, commonly called neuroglia, and provides structural and functional support for neurons. Functions and characteristics include: Structural, Surround neurons and hold them in place, Nutritional functions, Supply nutrients and oxygen to neurons
      Remove metobolic wastes, Perform immune functions, Destroy pathogens, Phagocytose dead neurons, Neurotransmission functions, Modulate neurotransmission, and Insulate neurons from other neurons

      1. Gliosis is the proliferation of astrocytes in response to the destruction of neurons. It leads to an astrocytic scar. This process is the way in which nervous tissue, which lacks the extracellular matrix and other features of connective tissue found elsewhere in the body, can repair itself.

        1. In Internet slang, a troll is someone who posts inflammatory,[2] extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community, such as an online discussion forum, chat room, or blog, with the primary intent of provoking readers into an emotional response[3] or of otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion.[4] The noun troll may refer to the provocative message itself, as in: “That was an excellent troll you posted”.

          While the word troll and its associated verb trolling are associated with Internet discourse, media attention in recent years has made such labels subjective, with trolling describing intentionally provocative actions and harassment outside of an online context. For example, mass media has used troll to describe “a person who defaces Internet tribute sites with the aim of causing grief to families.”[5][6]

          1. The Troll was a small car made by Troll Plastik & Bilindustri of Lunde, Norway, from 1956 to 1958. It was one of few attempts at car production in Norway, but only five cars were ever built.

  14. Uh… Pete Stark. That statist cockhole alone cancels out any and all possible libertarian-ish vibes coming from Penn, Adam Savage, et al.

    1. I’ll just get the federal government to uncancel it. There’s nothing the feddle gubmint can’t do!

  15. Speaking of “Will Sha”, I note for the record that Hit & Run ignored the Shat’s birthday. . .again.

    Your anti-Canadian, anti-French, anti-Semitic, pro-Takei biases have been noted and recorded in the appropriate place.

    1. If it’s not TNG, it doesn’t matter.

      1. I thought the spam filter didn’t allow posts that weren’t in English?

        1. They make a special allowance for extra retarded statements.

          1. Oh, I see. That explains a lot.

            I noticed yesterday that the filter allows all-Esperanto comments. Explain that to me.

            1. Constructed auxiliary languages don’t count, dumbass.

              1. That’s steering mighty close to Anti-Shaternism. Mighty close.

              1. See? I guess OSU has an Esperanto major or something.

            2. Trolo (el la germana Troll a? Trold, Tr?ll; giganto, sor?ulo) estas mita estulo el la ?ermana mitologio. Troloj estas viraj esta?oj kiel feoj, elfoj a? sor?istoj. Ili ofte dama?as al homoj. Ili povas esti a? tre grandaj (gigantoj) a? tre malgrandaj (gnomoj).

              1. Why Esperanto? I post in Greek or Latin–zap. Esperanto? No problem.

                Can one post in excess of 900 characters in Esperanto?

              2. That’s easy for you to say.

    2. I remembered. I just can’t remember which thread I left the comment in.

      1. I hate to be the one to tell you this, but we commenters don’t count. Whole threads have disappeared.

  16. Is this a picture of the first time SugarFree and Episiarch met? And is that Warty in the background?

    1. It’s not our fault we are the manliest dudes ever.

      1. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Here are current pictures of SugarFree and Episiarch.

        1. That’s frighteningly accurate.

    2. Not pictured: rather fapping furiously in the men’s room.

    3. I wonder if those guys are gay.

      1. They seem kind of chipper.

    1. As soon as I heard how much Jezebel was creaming over this movie, I knew it was going to be mediocre at best, and possibly quite bad. Plus, the trailer was a snoozefest.

    2. Man, it really says something about them ladies at Jezabel, that they’re so emotionally invested in a one-off Hollywood teenie-bop movie. Like, something not-so-good… ya know?

  17. A personal note: I call myself an Apatheist, because I just don’t care about the topic of God/Not God very much.

    Count me in.

  18. Richard Dawkins, who is often described as the sort of atheist that makes you want to believe in a god powerful enough to shut him up already

    It’s probably just me but Richard Dawkins sounds/ looks enough like the name Richard Dawson that everytime I see it or him I can’t help but think of Brody’s line from Mallrats:

    Hey, Richard Dawson Dawkins, just go back to your podium until it’s time to play the feud, alright.

  19. Atheists have an unfair advantage over Muslims and Jews when they play Steal the Bacon.

  20. Richard Dawkins, a bizarro Elmer Gantry evangelical atheist huckster who secretly believes but along the way finds nothingness. 2 thumbs up.

    1. Read The Ancestor’s Tale and be enlightened.

  21. Whole threads have disappeared.

    They just unraveled.

    1. Evaporated?

  22. Well, I hate to break it to everyone. Just in time for the weekend, White Retard has returned. He is currently dispensing fecal matter in the Kennedy thread and should be arriving here shortly.

    1. The White Retard? I remember that show–the one with the tall, white basketball coach.

  23. Damn! The very weekend I’m planning to wash my hair.

    1. Guess I picked the wrong weekend to quit eating French bread.

  24. Until very recently, I called myself an “ag-care-stic”, meaning I don’t really care about or dwell on the question. Whatever gets people through their day is fine with me! Then I read The Jacket’s Wikipedia page and learned a new word. Apatheist sums it up pretty well.

  25. All Power to the Imagination!

  26. There is a dude that seems to know what day it is lol.

  27. Grease for peace, baby. That is all.

  28. “Apatheist”

    aka “I’m too much of a pussy to be labeled an atheist, and still want religious people to think I’m not the devil.”

  29. What kind of sentence is that? “Organizers think somewhere around 20,000 or 30,000 people who will be going to directly to hell if there is a God may show up.”

  30. I’m wauting for “Woodstock for Aphilatests”, those non-stamp colletors really know how to party!

  31. I’d just like to say Richard Dawkins is absolutely correct. That he’s been married to Lalla Ward for twenty years proves there’s no god. Or no just god.

  32. Good post.You did a good work,and offer more effective imformation for us!Thank you. cheap new era hats New Era Hats

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