A.M. Links: Bloomberg Outlaws Food Donations to Homeless People Due to Fat and Salt Content, More Evidence of the OWS Schism, Democrats Attack Paul Ryan Plan


  • Dog bites man Democrats attack Paul Ryan's budget plan

  • Mayor Michael Bloomberg has "outlawed…food donations to homeless shelters because the city can't assess their salt, fat and fiber content."  
  • OWS is tearing itself apart.
  • Roughly 800 homes damaged in Mexico quake.
  • Fifty-two percent of Virginians oppose ultrasound bill.   
  • Pressure mounts for Sanford police to arrest George Zimmerman.
  • Al-Qaeda claims responsibility for attacks in Iraq that killed 46.  

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  1. It’s better for homeless people to die a slow agonizing death due to starvation or thirst than it is to die years later from a heart attack or stroke.

    1. Fat bastards are harder to step over once they pass out on that grate.

      1. fat unconscious homeless people also attract rats

    2. Or perhaps a ploy to make shelter food as bland and unappetizing as possible, in hopes that the homeless will go elsewhere.

      Also, the article seemed to imply that this was just shelters operated by the city government, so non-government shelters would be free to serve whatever they want.

      1. It only applies to city operated shelters. Private ones are still able to accept donations.

        Read the comments from this article. There’s a guy there who works for a private rescue mission there filling people in on the deal. And while he’s a little naive when it comes to the government’s intentions (at least in his reaction to my comments), he says private groups are still ok to get food.

        That said, he also lets slip that NYC is required, by law, to provide food and shelter for every homeless person in the city. Now how’s that grab you?

        1. City Harvest seems to still handle donations.


    3. No, no, no. Nobody will starve. We’ll create a gubmint agency to ensure the starving are fed AND fed with nutritious food containing the proper gubmint levels of fat and sodium.

      See how gubmint cares?

      1. Funny thing is, according to douchie Bloomie’s standards you probably couldn’t feed them what NYC school kids are fed for lunch every day.

        1. You definitely couldn’t feed them what Bloomberg himself eats. The man reportedly puts salt on his saltines.

      2. Hey, that pink slime isn’t going to eat itself, you know.

        1. Actually, it is.

        2. no, but it will eat everything else

          *queue “The Blob”*

          1. The Stuff is clearly the superior pink slime movie.

    4. Or even better(worse?):

      It’s better for homeless people to die a slow agonizing death due to starvation or thirst than for them to receive help from private(religious?)citizens who have not been metaphorically(actually?) gun raped by the tax nazis.

    5. Bloomberg is going to spend his millions on fresh veggies and whole grains to feed the homeless. I know it is true, he cares and I heard it from an OWS follower so I know it is true.

      1. When will the OWS followers realize they are the Tina to Bloomberg’s Ike Turner?

        They just keep coming back to espouse him even though his agents beat the shit out of them.

      2. When are the occutards going to realize he is the Ike to their Tina? They keep coming back to espouse him and his ideas, and he keeps sending in his jackboots to, literally, beat their asses.

        Meh, circle of life I guess.

    6. These aren’t desk workers. Salty and fatty is best for their short and long term health. Vegetables should also be served with salt & fat so they carry more calories and actually get eaten. This is just stupidity all the way around.

  2. MSNBC reports, as fact, that Zimmerman referred to Trayvon Martin using a racial epithet and shows the transcription on screen as “f****** ***ns.” They also beeped it out so you’ll just have to go ahead and trust their judgment.


    1. And your point is …?

      1. I’m with the Reverend Sharpton on this one.

    2. Wasn’t this given in detail on Reason yesterday?

      1. Yes, it was on H&R. And just like yesterday, this new ‘revelation’ doesn’t change the fact that the race issue is completely irrelevant to the fact that Zimmerman killed an unarmed man who hadn’t committed a crime.

        1. Zimmerman killed an unarmed man child who hadn’t committed a crime.

          Much more better.

        2. the race issue is completely irrelevant

          Irrelevant to whether a crime was committed, agreed.

          Irrelevant to whether Zimmerman was given a pass by the local po-po, maybe not. I’m not one to play the race card, but it strikes me as not entirely coincidental that the cops just shrugged and walked away from a dead black teenager. If this had been a white kid, I doubt they would have given Zimmerman a total pass.

          1. they may have walked from a black teen, but they also walked from a Hispanic gunman. Interesting how racial/gender politics plays out sometimes.

            1. I don’t live there or anything, so I could be totally wrong, but the sense I get is that being Cuban in Florida is different from being generally Hispanic in terms of race/ethnic relations.

        3. this new ‘revelation’ doesn’t change the fact that the race issue is completely irrelevant

          No it isn’t. It opens up the possibility for more charges.

      2. If you’re talking about this post: https://reason.com/blog/2012/03…..orge-zimme

        then I thought that was just about Al Sharpton editorializing. My link is to a MSNBC news reporter reporting the racial epithet as fact. My apologies if I’m repeating a link from the comments of that thread.

        1. Don’t apologize…it’s not like this subject merits only a single thread of discussion on a single day.

          1. Suki is thread warden and topic hall monitor.

    3. “f****** ***ns” could be anyone.

      1. fisting clans?

      2. Alright, I get the first word (“fucking”, amirite?).

        But what’s the second? Maybe its just too early, but what racial epithet is four letters and ends in an “n”?

        1. “coons”, although someone else said they thought he pretty definitely said “punks”. It was muttered, so hard to tell.

        2. You have to pretty creative to get “coons” out of that tape. It sounded much more like “punks” or “cops”.

        3. Thanks. I’m going to have to take that Racist Libertarian remediation class now, aren’t I?

        4. Phonetics of this is interesting. If there were sufficient clarity to decipher this at all, it is unlikely that people would be confusing a final stop cluster /nks/ for a final nasal consonant /n/ (if there is a stop the /n/ is not as long and wouldn’t be confused for the one in ‘coon’). It is also unlikely that people would be confusing the vowel in “coon” with the vowels in either “punks” or “cops”. Pretty much a Rorschach test at this point.

          1. “I am tired of burying young black boys,” declared Congresswoman Frederica Wilson. Hehe. How many black boys are murdered by black boys each year? Everybody hearing coon on the tape, and Mother Jones and Al Sharpton, and this idiot Wilson have got me rooting for this Zimmerman guy. I don’t want to. But I am.

            1. I don’t want to. But I am.

              I somehow doubt your sincerity.
              Just saying.

              1. Blow me. I wasn’t there. You weren’t there. But you certainly are a hell of a psychoanalyst. I didn’t hear “coon” or “cop” or anything else. Maybe I’m not a racist. Maybe I’m just not trying to hear anything that makes me comfortable with my prejudices.

            2. If you don’t know then rooting for anyone seems pretty silly.

              I agree that the race angle is getting way overplayed here. I’d be surprised if the kid’s blackness wasn’t a factor in Zimmerman’s decision that he was a suspicious person, but that doesn’t necessarily make the killing racially motivated or a racist act, and there is really no way to know anyway. Seems to me that the main issue here should be the screwy immunity from prosecution part of the Florida self defense law, and what actually constitutes self defense.

              1. Well, despite what Neu Mexxican said, I really meant it when I said I don’t want to root for Zimmerman. The stand your ground is intended to allow a person to defend himself when he is in a place he has a legal right to be. Not chase someone down. But, none of us know what happened after that chase. If Zimmerman was attacked, and he certainly exhibited signs of a struggle, he may have acted within the law. The Sharptons and Wilsons of the world just make me so sick.

                1. How many black boys are murdered by black boys each year? …I really meant it when I said I don’t want to root for Zimmerman….The Sharptons and Wilsons of the world just make me so sick.

                  So how does the behavior of Sharpton or Wilson get you on this guy’s side? What has their behavior got to do with anything? Either Zimmerman is justified according to SYG or he is not. Unless you are invested in one side or the other of the race-baiting political fight, there is no reason for it to change your view on the incident.

      3. farting lions?

          1. Indeed.

          2. Ah, first coffee spit in a while.

        1. Best. Jinx buy me a Coke. EVAR!

      4. farting lions

        1. Tow the farting lion?

          1. Tow, the Farting Lion.

            I’m thinking children’s book.

      5. furriest loins?

  3. Supreme Court faces an unprecedented healthcare frenzy

    1. I don’t see what the big deal is. As I’ve said, if Obamacare stands, the Top Men in government will use their unlimited power only for the good of us all.

  4. ObamaCare’s Costs Are Soaring
    We already know the rosy budget estimates used to sell the law were wrong.

    In reality, as government assumes a greater share of health-care costs, pressure to cut payments to providers will be enormous. Reduced government reimbursements to providers will cause massive cost-shifting to those remaining in the private health-insurance market. More employees will lose coverage. Before long, we will have what the left has long sought?a single payer health-care system modeled after Medicaid.

    In recent testimony before the Senate Appropriations Committee, Health and Human Services Secretary Kathleen Sebelius told me that America’s health insurance system is in a “death spiral.”

    1. what was that about unintended consequences? they knew exactly what would happen, and they were banking on it happening.

      1. You were sayin’ something about “best intentions”?

        1. They fucking lied their asses off to get this passed. Period. It was fraud, pure and simple.

          1. Watching C-SPAN coverage of the passage was one of the most nauseating experiences I have ever had.

            1. Watching C-SPAN coverage of the passage was one of the most nauseating experiences I have ever had.

          2. They do that with most bills.

    2. We already know the rosy budget estimates used to sell the law were wrong.

      We’ve known that since it was introduced, much less passed.

  5. Democrats attack Paul Ryan’s budget plan.

    In college, for summers I worked at an petrolium refinery. This was my first exposure to union workers. They used to tell me to slow down, don’t get excited. “You make the rest of us look bad.”

    1. They used to tell me to slow down, don’t get excited.

      Did you mean petrolium jelly refinery? Any by that, did you mean a porn studio?

      1. And by work, do you mean fluffer?

      2. Did you mean petrolium jelly refinery? Any by that, did you mean a porn studio?

        Like, duh! Why do you think he calls himself “fist”?

        1. Well played.

    2. Easy response: “So? I’m looking good. Who gives a fuck about you, you fucking piece of shit with feet?”

      1. Sounds like a good way to activate their excellent dental plan.


        2. Savage Steve Holland would be proud.

      2. You don’t know how miserable life can be made for a college kid by union workers. That’s an area they can be quite productive.

        1. It’s not like they’re doing anything else.

      3. Easy response:

        yeah, easy when you are not surrounded by union thugs. The verbal was not a request, it was a warning to be followed by more forceful action if not heeded.

        Your car in the parking lot? Be a shame if something happened to it. You’re not battling an individual but an institution.

    3. I worked in a unionized place once, heard the same thing.

      1. Hard to fire, hard to motivate.

        1. We had Verizon come and install Fios in our house last summer. Two guys in two trucks showed up in our cul-de-sac – and proceeded to sit in their trucks for two hours, reading the paper, napping, playing with their phones. Appalling. I guess they think they are stickin’ it to the man, but how long before their union jobs are toast?

          1. Is this a trick question?

          2. ur fake anecdotes are sure to change the system

            1. n mi witty repostes r shur to change H&R!

          3. Don’t know about Verizon, but at SBC/ATT the field workers are pretty good – the union problem there is the unionized Customer Service organization. It takes weeks to get a work order through the system and finally into the hands of a field technician – there must be an algorithm in place that puts each work order on hold until three complaints are lodged, that way they know you are serious about having the work done.

    4. My brother had a summer job in a small, union shop here in Iowa back in the early 80’s. The union went on strike, and he crossed the picket line with a couple of other summer temps to keep working.

      One day he carried his own sign that said “Scab Power”.

      If this had not been Iowa, I imagine we would have been visiting him in the hospital or attending his funeral.

      1. This. The first house my parents bought was in Illinois, and they paid some local women to make curtains for them, but she’d only show up at night because she was scared of what the union would do if they found out.

  6. Dog bites man Democrats attack Paul Ryan’s budget plan.

    Newt gets hungry?

  7. Budget 2012: Whatever the Chancellor says, Britain is not open for business

    I was in China last week, and business leaders laughed when I told them the UK Government was pursuing a “balanced agenda for growth”. They see a country that makes it almost impossible to do business. It is difficult and expensive to get visas; there are very few air links; and taxes are too high. They told me we would be better pursuing unbalanced growth over a balanced recession.

  8. I wonder if this song is on Obama’s iPod…


    1. If Obama listens to Foxy Shazam, it could do nothing but improve my opinion of him.

      1. . . . it could do nothing but improve my opinion of him.

        Nowhere to go but up, right?

      2. Thats the biggest black ass I’ve ever seen
        And I like it, I like it
        Thats the biggest black ass I’ve ever seen
        And I like it, I like it, a lot

          1. I was pretty irritable this morning. That video fixed that.


  9. A safer society with guns

    Something similar happened after the US Supreme Court’s 2008 Heller decision striking down a gun ban in Washington, DC. The city’s mayor predicted in dismay that “more handguns in the District of Columbia will only lead to more handgun violence,” yet crime in the nation’s capital plunged. Murder nose-dived to its lowest rate in half a century, falling from 186 in 2008 to 144 in 2009 to 132 in 2010 to 108 in 2011.

    1. Funny how this type of news just doesn’t get the play it deserves. I guess it’s hard to “brainwash” people into thinking guns are “bad” when in fact they are just a tool that can be used for “good” just as well.

    2. how can gun haters continue to believe their non-sense when, time after time, when more guns are in the hands of law abiding citizens, gun violence goes down? Yet, every time laws are loosened to allow law abiding citizens access to guns, they cry that the streets will run red with blood.

      1. The don’t let facts get in the way of their emotions.

      2. It’s a “religious” issue. It is possible, but rare, for gun haters to convert.

      3. It only works until some asshole shoots a black kid running through his gated community.

      4. “how can gun haters continue to believe….”

        Because you ask that question I know that you do not understand their motives.

        1. But, see, if we eliminate all guns from society there will be, by definition, less gun violence. So nyah, nyah, nyah.

          1. Premise #1: We are government.
            Premise #2: Criminals will observe gun laws.
            Premise #3: Our government will never abuse power – see Premise #1.

            From there it is easy to see how much safer we will be if only government has guns.

            1. “See kids, logic is like a circle. Whenever you’re thinking about something, it must come back to where you started, that way you can say you’re right all the time and never be wrong.”

    3. This is what happened in Minneapolis too. When Concealed Carry passed, the nay sayers were predicting a blood bath. Instrad, violent crime has dropped to 30-year lows.


      1. the CULTURE OF VIOLENCE makes everyone afraid!!! What kind of society do you want your children to grow up in, you monster? /sarc

    4. To be fair, (legal) gun ownership is vanishingly rare in DC thanks to the onerous registration procedures. And they still don’t allow carry, so unless all those extra murders were of people in their homes it’s tough to credit Heller.

      1. True, but it makes it very difficult to argue that Heller caused any harm.

  10. Mayor Michael Bloomberg has “outlawed…food donations to homeless shelters because the city can’t assess their salt, fat and fiber content.”

    Take an s off that assess and you have something that describes the Bloomberg City Hall.

    1. So the mayor of nyc rules by decree? What a cool job.

  11. Mayor Bloomie, a lefitist of the finest quality. Instead of sending the homeless and hungry (also called bums and layabouts in other places and times) to a work/concentration/gulag camp, where they just disappear, he’s going to starve them to death. For their own good. And in full view of the rest of us – presumably as a lesson?

    1. He is reviving the European ghetto.

    2. But putting the homeless to work would be taking food right out of the mouths of union employees’ children!

    3. “bums and layabouts”
      Actually, I think that most of today’s homeless would have been called “insane” or “mad” or “village idiots”.

  12. Barone on the Ryan Budget:

    Ryan’s budget kicks the can at timorous Democrats

    Ryan is arguing that we are on an unsustainable course that will lead inevitably to a debt crisis requiring far more painful adjustments than anything he is proposing. He notes that the Congressional Budget Office cannot even model the economy past 2027 because of looming debt. Think Greece.

    His Senate counterpart, Democratic Budget Chairman Kent Conrad, tends to agree. But he’s been blocked from offering a budget by Harry Reid, Charles Schumer and others with their eyes always on the next election.

    1. He notes that the Congressional Budget Office cannot even model the economy past 2027 because of looming debt. Think Greece.

      Trying to project the economy out that far is retarded in the extreme. There’s essentially a 7-10 year recession cycle that’s been in place for decades, and trying to put a spending plan in place that doesn’t take this into account is asking for trouble.

  13. “For the things that we run because of all sorts of safety reasons, we just have a policy it is my understanding of not taking donations,” Bloomberg said.

    Well, now that he’s clearly explained the rationale behind that law, I’m sure we can all get behind it. Wait, was he having a stroke when he gave that comment?

    1. I told him not to use SALT!!

  14. 7 Mistakes Women Make with Men

    1) Sleep with him too soon.
    2) Hit below the belt.
    3) Treat men like the enemy.
    4) Manipulate his emotions.
    5) Change him.
    6) Give up hope that good men exist.
    7) Overanalyze.

    more details in the linky…

    1. Mayor Michael Bloomberg has “outlawed…food donations to homeless shelters because the city can’t assess their salt, fat and fiber content.”

      They always have to outdo Philly, don’t they?

      Philadelphia Mayor Michael Nutter wants to ban community organizations from feeding the hungry and homeless in city parks.


      1. How can anyone take a man named “Nutter” seriously enough to vote him into any political office?

      2. Not the same thing.

        Nutter’s proposal is to make parks available for non-homeless people who prefer not to be surrounded by mentally ill beggars as they recreate.

      3. Houston has been at it as well:

    2. 8) Rearrange his closet.
      9) Throw out his beloved ratty old sweats and sneakers.
      10) Demand the seat stays DOWN from here to eternity…

      1. Demand? Why not just glue that sucka down?*

        * For the record I have never bitched about this. But I grew up in a mostly male household

        1. I have never seen the problem. I put both the seat and the lid down. 1-who wants to look into an open toilet bowl. 2-if I have to lift something to go pee, then so should she.

          1. Excellent. More exercise for everyone, too.

          2. I’m baffled that anyone would even consider not using the lid – that’s what it’s there for.

            1. I left the lid open yesterday moring and then proceeded to drop my deodorant in it.

          3. I don’t see a problem either way. The only problem is when people act as if not putting the seat down is some major problem.

      2. One time we had a new guy at work and I joked at him that he must live without any women. He said yes how’d you know. I said I went into the bathroom and the seat was up. Everyone else at work was trained to put it down, even though no women used that particular toilet.

    3. 2) Hitting below the belt

      Women fight dirty. This reared its ugly head after we were married and came as quite a shock to me. I spend more time in the office and gym now.

      1. Meh, I didn’t think much of that one.

        Any guy who can’t counterstrike that kind of thing isn’t really trying.

        For starters, there’s always “fat” just lying there in its silo, waiting to be launched.

        1. You are right, of course. However, those weapons are exactly as you descibe – in silos waiting for launch. I could use them, but it would lay waste to everything. Not ready to go there just yet.

        2. For starters, there’s always “fat” just lying there in its silo, waiting to be launched.

          That’s the equivalent of a nuke. You can use it, but man the radiation might kill you afterwards.

          1. Or make you wish you were dead.

        3. Ex Mrs. SFC B was always vulnerable to comparisons to her mother.

        4. I would think that MAD also applies in the battle of the sexes.

        5. Neurotic is another strong one.

      2. You just don’t get it.

        ** cries **

        Don’t touch me!

        1. …later…

          When I was upset earlier, you should have known I just needed a hug! You don’t love me!

          ** cries again **

          Don’t touch me!

    4. I think the one that’s missing here – the really big one – is “Never complain unless you actually want some corrective action taken.”

      It took me a long time after I got married to realize that women complain for entertainment. It’s to have something to talk about.

      Men tend to take every complaint as a demand that they solve your problem. Which leads to a lot of mansplaining, and resentment at your mansplaining.

      You have to figure out that the woman is going to shoot down every suggestion you make, and/or refuse to allow you to do everything you suggest YOU do, so there’s no point to spending any energy trying to figure out their problem. Just listen and nod. But find a way to do that which doesn’t make it obvious that you’re tuning her out.

      1. Uh-huh, sure, that’s whatever you were talking about for ya.

      2. Good advice.

        I beleive that women complain as a means to survival of the species – they are genetically predisposed to do so. This trait, when used properly, i.e.-after securing a mate, ensures that said mate 1)acquires resources necessary to raise her children, 2)gains social status that allows her to command others assist in the raising of her children, and 3)the stockpiling of resources should she find herself suddenly mateless.

      3. + a billion. My wife and I go through this a lot. I keep telling her to stop complaining about stuff that I could possibly fix and focus on the stuff that I can’t change if she just needs to vent.

      4. Not sure I buy the stereotyping thing. I:

        (a) am female
        (b) have good male mates who bitch and moan like, well, little bitches
        (c) have been accused (by a male colleague) of being “too solutions-oriented”

        But then again I’m not married to a woman, so what the fuck would I know

        1. I get what you’re saying. There are obviously going to be exceptions.

          But in general, that’s what I’ve found.

          When guys are friends and especially if they are roommates, there’s almost a code of never mentioning a problem. So if your friend/roommate starts a conversation by saying, “You know something that really bothers me?” you can know he’s thought about it for a long time, hemmed and hawed and didn’t want to say anything, and is only bringing it up because he absolutely HAS to. And you know he definitely wants to hear a solution.

          When your guy friend complains to you, it’s a Mafia meeting. You better come up with an answer right then and there, or somebody’s getting whacked. And whatever you come up with, you better DO, or somebody’s getting whacked.

          Apply that same approach to girlfriend or wife complaints and it’s a recipe for disaster.

          1. and when guys air a complaint, not only is a solution expected, the issue disappears once solution is in place. How often have you seen guys get in a fight then buy each other a beer? But maybe the academics are right; men and women are no different.

          2. This is one of the few cases where folk psychology is actually supported by research. Deborah Tannen has done a lot of socio-linguistics work to prove that what you’ve observed is true.

          3. Eh, I mean, some guy complaining is just venting. Y’know, “Man, my boss is a dick” kind of stuff. But that’s also not prefaced, but more as something you tell a roommate as you come home and put your keys on the hook.

        2. I had a female roommate in college, and she always said that one of the best things about living with guys was that there wasn’t any drama.

        3. There are definitely lots of exceptions. My marriage does not fit very well with the stereotypical gender roles’/whatever. But it seems that an awful lot do.

      5. My GF has pretty much told me this flat out: she doesn’t want me to solve the problem, just commisserate with her. Being an engineer, I find this anathema to my problem-solving nature, but I’ve learned to listen and most of the time refrain from making suggestions. To her credit, she takes my advice sometimes when I can’t resist giving it.

        1. THIS. I’m also an engineer. I’m terrible at the whole comforting thing. I’m not the person you want around when you just want consoling. I’m the person you want around when everything’s gone to shit, and things need to be fixed.

          1. Yup. Engineer as well. I am fond of telling people that if they want sympathy, they need to look in the dictionary between shit and syphillis.

            There’s a reason engineers work with things, not people.

      6. So true.

        And its not just that they shoot down suggestions for solving the fucking problem.

        Its that they get mad at you for sticking your male nose in, with your mansplaining and all.

        They are addicted to drama. They would rather have something to complain about, than nothing to complain about. You have to learn cultivate your ability to fake concern and commiseration. or you will become her favorite thing to complain about.

        1. I learned this by age 12. Perhaps I’m unusual in that I have a mother.

      7. “Never complain unless you actually want some corrective action taken.”

        This should be so fucking obvious, and it’s amazing that, after over 10,000 years of human civilization, it’s STILL a problem.

        In general, don’t come to us with your problems unless you want us to fix them. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

        1. In my long years as a member of the human race, I’ve found most male/female stereotypes to be lacking in substance.
          Not this one. This one is absofuckinglutely right on.

          1. My real question is, should I experiment with my six-year-old boy/girl twins to see if I can manipulate the very forces of nature — play God, if you will?
            Wait. Why am I asking? Of course I should.

            1. why else did you have children? For a few years at least there is no meaningful distinction between a parent and God, from a kid’s perspective

        2. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

          I’ve heard so much bitching and moaning over the years that I’m pretty sure I’ve run out of fucks to give.

        3. It’s best if you just listen with half an ear while she vents. Otherwise it will become “he never talks to me anymore!” Yes, the talking only goes one way. Doesn’t matter. To her, it counts.

          1. Oh yeah. The “Smile & Nod” technique has been perfected. Also make sure you throw in a few generic questions that can be used for just about anything, such as “Why? How?” just to ensure you avoid that argument.

          2. Part of me wonders if it would be just as effective to record a tape of “Uh-huh”s, “Yep”s, and “Really?”s, and just turn that on whenever she wants to vent.

            1. That worked great until I forgot to change the “work” tape with the “home” tape and the wife’s complaints were all met with “Have you tried turning it off and back on again?”

    5. 7 Mistakes Women Make with Men

      This list is wrong. #1 is spend my money. I’m pretty sure sleeping with me too early is actually a good thing.

      1. Is there such a thing as ‘sleeping with me too early’?

        1. I think it’s more of a thing that the woman wants to back out of after she does it. Like “ooh, shit. Shouldn’t have done that, now he thinks I’m a slut. . . ” When that may or may not be the case. So she doesn’t call. (I made this mistake, slept “early” with a few guys, freaked myself out & tried to never see them again).

  15. SSGT. Robert Bales’ wife is “holed up” with her kids on a base somewhere in Washington. I can’t imagine what this woman is going through.

    1. I feel for her and the family, as well as the families of the slain in Afghanistan. Somehow, “not guilty by reason of insanity” seems like it’s going to sound very hollow.

  16. Is RoboCain down for hardware upgrades? To be honest, I hope it’s for hardware downgrades.

    1. Is RoboCain down for hardware upgrades?

      Whenever traffic here decreases by 50 percent or more, it’s safe to assume that’s the case.

      1. His hard drive’s gone floppy.

      1. I was hoping for something more in the way of T&A.

        1. Er, how about this? New Doctor Who assistant has been twice nominated for ‘Sexiest Female’ at the British Soap Awards.

          Gentlemen, hot or not (objectively please, not by British Soap Award standard)?

          1. She is okay. I wouldn’t say “hot”. But a definite fair to midland.

            1. Fair to midland?

              Is that some kind of Brit pun?

          2. Karen Gillan is hotter than the fires of a thousand angry suns.

            But still not enough to get me to watch Dr. Fucking Who.

            1. Wow. Not even the terrific episodes? Next you’ll pull a K-Kristen and claim Goodfellas sucked

              1. Nope. I’ve just always hated Dr. Who. I’m pretty tolerant of science fiction entertainment, but that twee nonsense has always made me sick to my ass.

                1. I was in puberty when Louise Jameson was co starring with Tom Baker. You punk kids have no idea how tough we had it before internet porn.
                  I tried the new show out of nostalgia but I can’t suspend disbelief. Too flaky.

              2. I also have no desire to read or watch Battle Royale The Hunger Games.

                1. I like Dr. Who, but I sympathize. I refuse to read The Hunger Games despite every person I know having read them. Being dragged to the movie against my will by my girlfriend on Friday. I liked it better when it was Battle Royale.

                  1. Sorry to hear about that, Destrudo. I hoping the damn movie flops so everyone will stop fucking going on about those damn books.

                    Parents of America! Lower your daughters’ allowances! For all our sakes!

                  2. It’s not terrible. Yes, there’s the element of tyrannical government and has some revolutionary undertones. But it also has a love conflicted teenage girl who can’t get her shit together.

            2. She and Billie Piper are the primary reasons I can sit down with the GF and watch it. Also, if you just think about it as a goofy fantasy rather than any kind of sci-fi it’s not too bad.

              1. Billy Piper has a snout. Most off-putting companion ever.

            3. Goofy fantasy is right. It’s a modern version of those rip-roaring good-triumphs-over-evil Saturday matinee movies. Except instead of wearing tights he’s wearing a bow-tie and Stetson.

              1. invisible, just remember: Stetsons are cool.

                1. I wear a fez now!

          3. Meh, when she had red hair maybe. The rest doesn’t do much for me.

          4. This entire Dr. Who cast needs to go. They all suck

            1. It’s been all downhill since David Tennant left. Though more visually interesting.

  17. French police corner suspect in Jewish school massacre


    ‘Jihadist’ who ‘broke out of Afghan prison’


    1. I’m sure the jewishness of the victims was just accidental. I mean, why would a muslim want to kill jews?

      1. The first reports I heard on this yesterday blamed “right wing groups”, even when it was obviously Al-Queda types. Same media response as with the Spain bombings of a few years ago.

        1. can you imagine the frustration among some media upon learning that no, no fringe right-wing group was involved after all.

        2. I think they figured right wing groups because he shot three French paras of arabic descent. So it was shooting collaborators and jews. How utterly French.

        3. In France, isn’t Al-Queda considered right wing?


        4. How is Al-Quaeda not right wing?

          1. Al-Quaeda is pretty much the logical extension of Rick Santorum. Seriously, how is that not right wing?

  18. OWS is tearing itself apart.

    Here we see Justin Long being taken into custody by Paul Blart.

    1. “You can’t do this to me! I’ve had sex with Drew Barrymore!”

      1. That’s like a punishment unto itself.

      2. is that mutterbation?

      3. who hasn’t?

    2. Cop: “Dispatch, we’ve got a code 45.”

      Dispather: “Refresh my memeory what’s a code 45 again?”

      Cop: “Pretentious hollywood celebutard hipster pretending to be down the ‘99%’.”

      Dispatcher: “Copy that, we’ll prepare the STEVE SMITH cell for him.”

  19. Woman marries self, prompting a serious debate at Yahoo! Shine over the merits of literally putting the “homo” (same) in homosexual marriage.

    Jennifer Romolini defends the hateful, divisive, anti-single-marriage position: “Marriage is about union, it’s about partnership, most of all, it’s about compromising on and sharing the things in your life that are hard to compromise on or share”

    Piper Weiss defends the progressive, loving, enlightened pro-single-marriage view: “I believe everyone has the right to marry, regardless of sexual preference. For some people being alone is what feels most natural. Shouldn’t they too be entitled to tax breaks?”


    1. I agree with her, as long as she does not demand that Obamacare pay for her vibrator batteries

      1. Let me be clear.

        The Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act most assuredly will cover medically-necessary vibrators and their maintenance.

    2. “I was waiting for someone to come along and make me happy,” she told reporter Tammy Swift. “At some point, a friend said, ‘Why do you need someone to marry you to be happy? Marry yourself.'”

      Please tell me this is leading up to a lawsuit about state marriage benefits.

      1. Marry yourself.'”

        Genius. Now, if only I can claim myself as my spouse on taxes I’ll have it made.

        1. that’s just a euphemism for “go fuck yourself”, I suppose

    3. Shouldn’t they too be entitled to tax breaks?

      always comes back to this. NO, Piper, you are not ENTITLED to anything least of all a tax break simply for existing.

    4. Dude, I think polygamy and polyamory should be legal, so I kind of disqualify from this debate. Although it is always hilarious to see staunch gay marriage supporters flip a shit over multiple marriage.

    5. I gotta go with Piper’s second sentence. I don’t need no up toilet seats and mansplaining in my life, FCOL.

      (*in actual fact, I don’t mind either one. It’s the pressure to make chitchat and sharing half my bed I don’t like)

      1. I can assure you most guys a fine with not making chitchat after a certain point in the relationship.

        1. I can assure you most guys a fine with not making chitchat after a certain point in the relationship they’ve gotten to hit that.

          1. Apparently I have the only dude in the world that likes to talk, then (not about “feelings”, but about science & religion & shit). Although one of our memes is to shush each other (put our fingers up to each other’s mouths and say “Sshhhh…don’t speak. Shhh”), which cracks me up every time.

      2. I’m always surprised how many people don’t like sharing a bed. For me that’s half the point of having a live-in lover/spouse/etc.

        1. Yeah maybe that makes me a beta male pussy, but I like it too.

          Unless she’s a kicker or a blanket thief….

  20. IRS forms ‘SWAT team’ for tax dodger crackdown


    May share tax info with police


  21. I’ve had a pelvic ultrasound and pro-choice or pro-life, for me it was invasive, and painful

    -medical tools should not be indistinguishable from political

    1. I’ve had a pelvic ultrasound and pro-choice or pro-life, for me it was invasive, and painful

      That wasn’t a clinic, it wasn’t an ultrasound probe, and it wasn’t your “pelvic area.”

      Don’t worry, someone will post your bail soon.

        1. fuck you

          That’s OK, denial is an important and powerful coping tool. Still, your first clue should’ve been that that thing didn’t have numbers on it.

          Ice should help with the throbbing.

          1. Your puny anger is no match for his maighty sarcasm!

    2. Yes. Rectal exams can be unpleasant.

    3. I’ve had one too. BFD – I’ve had worse things.

  22. Morning Links is fast evolving into “encore edition of yesterday’s Reason”.

    1. Explain

      1. You mean mansplain?


  23. 50% of White County IL (where I live) TEAM RED voted for Santorum yesterday. Only 10% voted for Paul. I’m starting to hate TEAM RED more and more.

    1. How’s about hatin’ on White County?

      1. Racist!

    2. Starting..?

      1. Well, I have hated them for a long time, but the thing about TEAM RED is they have guys like the Pauls or Gary Johnson (before the party shit on him) that can give a libertarian-minded guy that small glimmer of hope that maybe, just maybe, TEAM RED will actually start caring about liberty. Then they vote for the gay-hating, statist pricks like Santorum. TEAM BLUE doesn’t even tease with that little bit of hope.

        1. Which is really too bad. In my dreams, I can imagine an acceptable candidate who would fit at least as well within Team Blue as Ron Paul does within Team Red.

          Ah. Beautiful, beautiful dreams.

          1. I think you mean hallucinations, CN.

            1. I picked the wrong day to stop sniffin’ glue.

    3. ja, my “second home” is in another county. It’s about as libertarian as I could hope for in Michigan – minimal taxes, lots of guns, small businesses, only a handful of police, etc etc – but in the primaries, it went 70% for Santorum.

  24. Chuck Schumer, upgraded from “scum” to “not entirely completely repulsive 100% of the time.”

    U.S. Marine Corporal Megan Levy has been fighting red tape and petitioning the military to adopt her combat dog, Rex, for the past several years. Both were injured while defusing a bomb in 2006, an incident that earned Levy a Purple Heart and cost Rex his sense of smell. In an outrageous turn, the military planned to euthanize the German shepherd until Levy organized a campaign, with the help of U.S. Senator Chuck Schumer, to have him rescued. The pair will be reunited in California later this week.

    1. I grudgingly acknowlege Schumer’s act of decency.

      1. I don’t. He’s a grandstanding prick who’s too fucking busy to help get a budget proposed and voted on in the Senate but he’s got enough time to do this kind of shit?
        And if he was doing it for her, he would have done it quietly behind the scenes. He’s a political animal that will use this soldier in his re-election campaign, and doing it for that reason is so much worse than doing nothing at all.

        tl;dr? Fuck Chuck Schumer.

    2. “How’s your dog smell, corporal?”
      “Bad, sir.”

      9:22 and I’m already punchy. More coffee, Wanda! Stat!

      1. Actually, I blame Game of Thrones. One of my sons (not the six-year-old) bought it for me for my birthday and I was up all night reading. Very engrossing.

        1. Stop after book 3 or you’ll regret it.

          1. No, the horrors of book 4 are worth the glories of book 5.

            1. How many fans never made it out of that wasteland Sugar?

            2. Really? I hated Dance, personally. Wanted to kill it with fire.

            3. Seconded. I was going to drop GRRM in with Robert Jordon in the “get-to-the-fucking-point-already” stack. And then the new book came out.

            4. Book 4 wasn’t that bad. Sure it wasn’t as action packed as 3, but in a series of 20 books (or whatever), you need some exposition.

              1. Martin had to save some characters for the later books. Plus, I don’t know if I could have handled another red wedding or whatever.

              2. Counterexample: “Wizard and Glass.” Only Stephen King could create the kind of environment necessary to kill off something with so much promise in a quicksand filled word-swamp.

                1. “Counterexample: “Wizard and Glass.” Only Stephen King could create the kind of environment necessary to kill off something with so much promise in a quicksand filled word-swamp.”

                  I think that’s the 2nd best book in the series behind the first one, right up until the point where he catches whatever disease Robert Heinlein had in “Number of the Beast” and the whole series goes entirely to shit. Will not buy the new book.

                2. Only Stephen King could create the kind of environment necessary to kill off something with so much promise in a quicksand filled word-swamp.

                  The fantasy genre in general, for about the last 30 years, has basically been a masturbatory exercise for obsessive-compulsive nerds. The stories just run on and on and on and on, with no real resolution whatsoever, and long after anyone with an ounce of maturity has stopped caring about the main characters.

                  As huge as Tolkein’s tomes were, at least he had the sense to cut off the story after four books. If Lord of the Rings was written today, there’d be roughly 4-5 sequels on Samwise’s half-human grandchild collaborating with Eowyn’s bastard daughter to prevent the ghost of Saruman from raising an army of zombie Uruk-Hai.

                  1. The fantasy genre in general, for about the last 30 years, has basically been a masturbatory exercise for obsessive-compulsive nerds.

                    Sure, lots of them are written as sequelitis money-factories, but there are plenty of counter-examples, IMO, even in the 10-books-and-counting category.

                    I, personally, am a fan of the Malazan books. The Black Company books are also on my re-read list. Prince of Nothing also shows promise.

                    Of course, I am also an obsessive-compulsive nerd, so YMMV.

                  2. If Lord of the Rings was written today, there’d be roughly 4-5 sequels on Samwise’s half-human grandchild collaborating with Eowyn’s bastard daughter to prevent the ghost of Saruman from raising an army of zombie Uruk-Hai.

                    Just take that idea and sell it to Hollyweird. You could be very rich.

                  3. If Lord of the Rings was written today, there’d be roughly 4-5 sequels on Samwise’s half-human grandchild collaborating with Eowyn’s bastard daughter to prevent the ghost of Saruman from raising an army of zombie Uruk-Hai

                    sweet. When is that coming out? Did HBO pick it up yet?

                3. Wizard and Glass was probably my favorite of the Dark Tower books, but I never really loved those books to begin with. Stephen King is a bad, bad writer.

              3. I think that books 14-23 will more than make up for the weaknesses of 4-9…

                1. I don’t know if I could have handled another red wedding or whatever.

                  Great. Now I’ll have Billy Idol in my head all day.
                  Hey little sister, what have you done?

                  1. heh – the first car I ever bought – a 1968 Firebird 350 – had a tape deck with Billy Idol stuck inside. I musta heard White Wedding a thousand times before I pulled the tape out using a needle-nose pliers. Too bad that moved destroyed the deck.

                    1. There has to be a metaphor for something in here…

                    2. It was for the best.

            5. if i had the chance i’d teach the world to dance but i’ll be dancing with myself

    3. Good for Chuck. I guess he is not entirely evil.

      1. I guess he is not entirely evil.

        He’s evil. While I acknowledge that a good thing was done, he did it solely for the political points. The article links ot an ABC News video that shows him at a press event with the Marine.

        I reiterate – I am glad the dog is not being put euthanized.

        1. I agree – it was a no-lose situation politically. Politicians orgasm over no-lose situations.

          1. Chuckie strikes me as the kind of guy who’s incapable of expending effort on someone else’s behalf unless there’s an angle in it for him.

            1. Clearly, the mansierre could not have been invented and marketed without state subsidies.

      2. Meh. You know who else liked dogs?

        1. Koreans?

          1. Me, inadvertantly, last night when I ordered that lo mein.

          2. Manchester United has a splendid player called Park Ji-Sung who has inspired some cracking chants:

            He shoots,
            He scores,
            He eats labradors,
            Ji Sung Park, Ji Sung Park…


            Park, Park, wherever you may be,
            You eat dogs in your home country!
            It could be worse, you could be Scouse,
            Eating rats in your council house!

            and the delightful

            10 alsations walking down the street, 10 alsations walking down the street,

            and if ji sung park should want something to eat, they’ll be 9 alsations walking down the street……etc

      3. Good for Chuck. I guess he is not entirely evil.

        The entire scenario is quite retarded. Always send a retard to deal with retarded situations.

    4. Okay, so the man has a heart, even if lacking a soul.

      1. Okay, so the man has a heart, even if lacking a soul.

        I’d say ole’ Chucky’s problem is probably that he actually does care, and is just too stupid to realize that Government can’t fix the world’s problems.

  25. Why was Zimmerman carrying a weapon?

    “I can’t answer that,’ [Zimmerman’s friend Frank] Taaffe replied. ” … The two components don’t match up. You have George, the demur, congenial, amiable guy, carrying a weapon of destruction.”

    I assume they mean demure, which is not going to be an asset when he’s on neighborhood watch in gen pop.

    1. Maybe he meant ‘Lemur’ cause he sounds as dumb as a monkey.

    2. What a retarded statement. Most of the people I know who carry weapons are nice calm people. The notable exceptions are the police officers.

    3. demure, which is not going to be an asset when he’s on neighborhood watch

      “Hey, Baby, come here often?”

  26. I hate to jinx it but we are now on three days of no retarded Indian. I don’t know what happened on the one weekend thread, but Reason deleted every one of his posts. And now he seems to have vanished. Could they have actually banned him?

      1. There is a retarded troll out there. I am telling, it is a retarded troll. Close the boards Mr. Mayor.

        1. We’re gonna need a bigger website.

    1. I think WI would circumvent an IP ban.

      So I’m voting for “involuntary commitment for 96 hours”.

      1. I notice that it disappear right around the time the Kony 2012 director went on his mutterbation spree. Hmm…

        1. Mutterbation? Nice. I hadn’t heard that one (and sort of hope that it was a typo).

          1. That’s when you masturbate a bunch of mixed-breed dogs. You’ve never done it, you weirdo?

          2. I made it up just for you, Fistie.

            The Kony guy was walking around muttering crazy talk and touching his dangly bits: Mutterbation.

            1. You were too clever for this world, SF.

              1. That’s why it’s killing me.

            2. I thought it was some sort of twisted German mother-fixation fetish.

              1. I thought it was sucrose

      2. True. But Reason has some kind of leverage. They told him something that got him to stop putting up the child molester shit.

        1. The Kochtopus can be very, shall we say, persuasive.

        2. What child molester shit? I don’t come here weekends.

          1. Retard troll named John’s real name and implied (or maybe outright stated?) he was pedo.

            I’d think legal action, not just banhammer, would be in order.

            1. Makes me glad I take weekends off. Too much drama for a magazine called “Reason.”

            2. That wasn’t even on a weekend.

      3. I think he’s teaching my Intro to Geology class. Idiot instructor went on a mini-rant about how the US is damn near purely capitalist and should be moving more towards “social democracy”.

        1. Good thing they don’t charge you to waste your time preaching to you about shit that has nothing to do with geology or anything.

          1. We also talked about how it’s been so warm in the Northeast lately and he said, with that smug, sarcastic voice “well, it’s a good thing there’s no such thing as global warming”.

            1. Reasons why I am glad I already have a college degree. I would never make it now because I could not have controlled my urge to blurt out “weather isn’t climate”.

              1. Ha! My wife keeps trying to get me to teach, she claims I have talent. Riiiiight. I keep telling her that I am on to her plan to have me put in jail ( which is where I would land within a week of being a teacher ) .

                1. Because you’re not allowed around children?

                  1. Because I call bullshit when I see bullshit.

            2. Raise Hand. “What about those people who froze to death in Italy this winter? 26 was the final count I think.”

              1. At this point I just tune out the bullshit. The guy is so far gone there is no point in trying to debate. I’ll just write all my comments on the survey that gets thrown out at the end of the course.

        2. Typically geologists are not like that. But then, the ones I know are in the field for the mining industry and not a classroom or working for a university.
          The ones I know are all crusty, tough-as-hell, no-nonsense guys that would probably respond to your prof with a snort and a right-cross.

          1. Field geologists learn to drink and fight with miners and oil workers. Academic geologists learn to drink and argue with social scientists.

    2. Maybe the solution is to hire a small group of homelesss people to sit around mumbling into a computer. This compurer analyzes the gibberish and checks H&R posts against those analyses, deleting any posts that match with a high confidence limit.

      1. Gives a new meaning to “high tech”.

      2. Aside from mental illness, OCD, and ODD, does anyone here have any idea what motivates WI to try and wreck this site? What the hell is up their ass about Libertarianism?

        1. I do believe that he mentioned he was a “former libertarian until he saw the light”. Of course, that means he must now come back and convert everyone else with his insane gamboling.

        2. a permanent sugar high?

          More seriously, it’s trying to call us on what it thinks is our hypocrisy. You can’t anti-state and have a flush dunny, a proposition established by copious cut ‘n’ pastes and unimpeded by any knowledge of the nuance of thought on display here. If it keeps saying it, and we don’t defeat it in argument, then woo-hoo, it’s a winner! Of course, if we’re hypocrites, it’s a fantasist and so much more…

          1. Of course he is advocating for the forced primitivization of the entire world. And will admit that doing so will require breaking a lot of eggs to make the omelet. But that is okay because it is in self defense because the city state is so aggressive.

            He is basically a homicidal lunatic who fortunately doesn’t have the balls to act on his impulses.

            1. Dont be too sure that he doesnt have the balls John, or the craziness. More so than drunkeness, lunacy can make the worst ideas sometimes seem stellar.

            2. So you’re saying he’s Dutch Catholic?

          2. I am going to go with mental illness. No one can rant on and on all day and half the night, every fucking day without burning out unless they are completely nuts.

            I suspect (seriously) that Fluffy is correct. WIs absence has something to do with involuntary commitment. Lets just hope it turns out to be more than 96 hrs. With all the time spent here he/she/it was probably living in unsanitary conditions and the neighbors noticed the smell…….

            It has often occured to me that being anonymous here serves no purpose for me and I might as well use my real name, but then, I imagine some wild-eyed WI type showing up at my house with a machete…..

            1. Agreed – the sheer amount of posts shows a manic energy. Perhaps he hit the top of the cycle on the weekend and is trending down.

        3. Maybe he’s actually Godesky and posts that crap to get people to read his blog.

          1. Maybe he’s Daniel Murphy from the OWS story. It says he is a primitivist.

        4. Good question. It’s not like libertarians are actually winning the war of ideas. The best chance for us to get a libertarian-minded candidate in the White House is getting what, 10% of the vote in the party of “smaller government”?

          1. You assume that those counting the votes have counted them accurately.

            1. Have you ever met any voters?

    3. Maybe he took my suggestion and is actually trying to hack it in the woods. Anybody see any smoke signals? How’s he doing? Has a mangy dog/methed-out hooker ripped out his throat yet?

      1. We can only hope…

        1. To be fair, WI does, on occaison, make a good point.

          Example: last week he needled reason about how LRC’s traffic makes reason look like a ghost town.

          1. Well, I frequent both and if LRC had comments, I don’t think reason would have much else to offer outside of some hilarious bastards. Frankly, the whole character limit issue is industrial sanding my prostrate.

  27. In an outrageous turn, the military planned to euthanize the German shepherd

    But what if that dog falls into the hands of the Taliban?

    We simply cannot risk it!

    And besides, think of the tax consequences. The IRS SWAT team will just have to come to her house and kill the dog anyway.

    1. In the military’s defense, those dogs are majorly aggressive. Really, only a professional handler can own them. So when they get too old to work, it is hard to find them homes. Now, why it took Chuck Schumer to get them to give this dog to a handler that wanted him is another question.

      1. Depends on the dog and the dog’s job, John. I find it impossible to believe the fat beagle they used to have as a drug sniffing dog at Fort Bliss was ‘majorly aggressive’.

        The MP german shepherds, on the other hand, were some frightening animals.

        1. A lady I served with was a handler before a dog (german shepherd) ripped up her face. She had some very large scars.

        2. I was talking about the Shepherds and the Mallinois. I was friends with a vet over in Iraq this last time. They had a shepherd there who was a legend. They had personally captured like 10 people during several tours in Afghanistan. He was canine Audie Murphy. And he just loved to bite people. He bit his handlers. He bit the vets. They had to keep him in a muzzle whenever he wasn’t working. His favorite trick was to come up to strangers and do his best cute puppy routine to try to get them to take the muzzle off. The vets were very clear, NEVER TAKE THE MUZZLE OFF. He finally got so old he couldn’t work anymore. And they had to put him down. There was no way to give him to a private home.

          1. The dog sounds like some of the guys I knew in the army. Wonderful guys to have in the field, utterly dysfunctional at life.

  28. Not even the terrific episodes?

    Is this a trick question?

  29. Did anybody catch this story?

    “US to impose tariff on Chinese solar panels in victory for domestic makers”


    What, exactly, does Obummer value more? Cheap, renewable energy, or his “green energy” cronies?

    1. Is that a trick question?

    2. How can a robot that doesn’t follow three laws value anything? Seriously, this thing pretending to be a man was built at the same factory that shit out the Romney-Bot 4000.

  30. Bloomberg? How about Nutter:

    Philly: “Outdoor feeding ban better for homeless”


    1. Feeding bums is like feeding pigeons or city elk. It just attracts more of them. And despite what people tell you, they can’t be domesticated.

      1. City elk? I am all for baiting them. I have a really nice BBQ pit…….

      2. do they shit on your head too? Like pigeons, obviously, not like elk

      3. Well, that’s not really the point. The point is, enacting a law actively preventing people from doing it.

        And the only animal I know of that you are not supposed to feed is seagulls. Unless, of course, you feed them crushed up Alka-Seltzer wrapped in bread.

        1. ….or toss light fire-crackers up to them.

          1. That’s really not cool. I saw a gull with most of its lower beak blown off once. The poor thing looked like it eas starving to death. That’s crueler than gut-shooting a deer and not stalking it down to end its misery.

    2. Hoy fuck that article reads like something from the DPRK’s state run media. Is philly.com just an arm of the mayor’s Minsitry of Propaganda or something?

      That describes Mayor Nutter’s smart decision to ban food handouts in city parks, which includes the Benjamin Franklin Parkway.

      “Smart decision” WTF?

  31. “US to impose tariff on Chinese solar panels in victory for domestic makers”

    “Mister President, we simply cannot allow a MINE SHAFT GAP!”

    1. But a loss for domestic consumers.

      1. That’s OK. I’ll just give domestic consumers more tax credits.



  32. Femputer: Did you explain how the women’s good fundamentals make up for their inability to dunk?

    Ornik: Yes. They still laugh.

    Femputer: The men must die.

    1. Death by snushu!

      1. Snushu? So now they’re amazonian women with foot fetishes?

      2. The spirit is willing… but the flesh is spongy and bruised!

  33. Cop convicted of kicking handcuffed woman in head won’t serve jail time, sentence suspended. Will remain on unpaid leave until is appeals are exhausted, at which point his department intends to fire him.

    1. What he did was infuriating. But he now has a conviction for a violent crime. His career is done. And he will never be a cop again. If I had been the judge, I would have given him some time, but not years. So this is lower than I would have given. But it is not that bad. He didn’t kill or permanently injure anyone.

      And years of probation is going to suck. And if he so much as gets in a bar fight, that ten year sentence is sitting over his head.

      1. What he did was infuriating. But he now has a conviction for a violent crime. His career is done. And he will never be a cop again.

        I think it was a good outcome. Given that the woman was not injured, I’m OK with no prison time. Like you said, a felony conviction ensures that he’ll never be a cop again. I’m also pleased with the unpaid suspension, which was apparently handed down right after the assault.

        1. I’m sure she’ll be adequately compensated in the civil suit to follow. The criminal conviction is a near guarantee of a good settlement.

          1. The criminal conviction is a near guarantee of a good settlement.

            That’s where I think it should stop. Once the guy is convicted and an adequate punishment handed down, then the injustice has been righted. Sure, she should be compensated for any costs she incurred pursuant to this whole debacle, but since she wasn’t even injured, that would be minimal. A fat punitive award accomplishes nothing that the conviction didn’t.

            1. Well, it wasn’t really her decision to bring criminal charges. Only the prosecutor can do that. The criminal conviction was for “the people”, not necessarily for the victim.

              If I were the victim, I don’t think I would even care very much about the criminal conviction. I would be more interested in compensatory and punitive damages being awarded to me, the victim, not to the state.

              1. Well, it wasn’t really her decision to bring criminal charges. Only the prosecutor can do that. The criminal conviction was for “the people”, not necessarily for the victim.

                I guess we’ll have to disagree that a huge settlement, paid for by you and me, is going to make this outcome any more satisfactory.

                1. “paid for by you and me,”

                  That’s what they call, “vicarious liability”. And I’m sure the city has insurance.

                  But it is only fitting since the cop’s salary and benefits were paid for by you and me, to begin with.

                2. Even though an individual taxpayer’s burden for this is pretty small, it may get people thinking about how much government incompetence is costing them.

                  Plus, the settlement creates a disincentive for the government to continue business as usual.

                  It’s unfortunate that the taxpayers get screwed, but then the libertarian solution is to hold people personally liable for their actions.

        2. And this quote by his defense attorney: “There was misconduct there that led up to this reaction,” said Harwood. “Sometimes people deserve what they get because they’re the ones that initiated it. They’re the ones that caused it.”
          makes me want to send them both away for a while. It’s like they want to act without any consequence when arresting people because “their actions caused it all.” Well, fuck that shit.

          1. So his defense is “look what she made me do!” ?
            Holy fuck.

            1. So his defense is “look what she made me do!”?

              It’s one step above the “bitch had it coming” defense.

              1. Read his attorney’s quote again. “Bitch had it coming” is a lot closer to what he was saying.

                1. “Your Honor, as Ms. Levesque’s two black eyes clearly indicate, my client did in fact tell her twice.”

        3. Moreover, this nugget FTA: Moreover, Harwood said his client has already paid dearly for his mistake. Krawetz’s career is likely ruined, his pension is in jeopardy, and questions loom about how he will care for his family, including two teenage children. Since being placed on unpaid suspension from the force after the incident in 2009, he said Krawetz has been working as a trucker.

          Boo-fucking-hoo. He’ll end up getting a disability pension, will not have to work another day (or will get his job back with back-pay if overturned) and his kids will learn that daddy can fuck a bitch up for being belligerent because he’s wearing a badge.

          It’s winners all around!*

          *Except for his victim, taxpayers and society in general, who will all realize one day that cops operate above the law.

    2. The cop had a history of violence, refused to get treatment when offered to him and showed zero remorse. Now you tell me that the punishment seems fair? WTF?

      The city should pay out the ass for this attack. And that money should come out of the PD’s Operating budget or their pension fund. Maybe that will teach them to zealously go after their own as opposed to attempt a cover-up for two years.

      1. The self-defense angle is bull shit.

        If a woman, who is seated and handcuffed with her hands behind her back, attempts to leg whip a cop with a gun, I’m sorry, its not self-defense. In fact, the assertion of self-defense is, imo, frivolous.

        There was no danger presented to the cop by the woman. None. Absolute zero and any asseveration to the contrary is pure poppycock unsupported by the evidence.

        Cops can’t operate like Jack Palance’s character, Wilson, did in the scene with the former johhny reb sodbuster, in Shane.

      2. I’d be perfectly happy with a fat settlement if it came out of the cops’ pension fund of from the union’s coffers. Like you say, that would really drive home an important lesson to any other cop contemplating this sort of thing, or to any department with a habit of sweeping this stuff under the rug.

        But yeah, I’m OK with the outcome. The guy will never be a cop again AND he’s a convicted felon. If I’d been in the victim’s shoes, I would come away with a sense of satisfaction that my assailant didn’t “get away with it.”

    3. Well, to be fair, they would have had to move all the general population prisoners into solitary because of the possibility of violence against the officer. That would have been a terrible drain on resources.

  34. Abolish the wages system

    1. NO! Eliminate work. Obama bucks for everybody!


  35. That OWS was a poorly-written reminder of why I don’t subscribe to the Atlantic anymore. Choice excerpts:

    he was like a live grenade with the trigger half-pulled, waiting to be set off.


    The protesters’ immediate impact is undeniable: Large public unions of blue-collar workers have been emboldened, hundreds of thousands of Americans have moved their savings from big banks to smaller ones and local credit unions, and there is now more discussion about resolving wealth inequality.[Citation needed]

    1. “he was like a live grenade with the trigger half-pulled, waiting to be set off.”

      What do you expect from East Coast hipsters?
      “He was like a live grenade with the pin pulled, just waiting for the spoon to be released and the fuse to burn”

      1. That line made me laugh. Clearly the writer had no idea how a grenade actually works, but it sounded “edgy” so WTF.

        Plus all the other Atlantic writers got simile boners from his “clever” wordplay.

    2. I recently re-subscribed because I got 2 years for $20. The April issue has Bernanke on the cover as a Hero for saving the global economy.

      1. Probably worth the twenty bucks just so you can cancel your subscription in a spittle-flecked rant sometime later.

      2. Demand your money back double because they subjected you to that.

        1. Yuqi Wu will be Big Ben’s boss in a few years

    3. That is a Thomas Friedman-level simile.

    4. DanD|3.21.12 @ 10:07AM|#
      Choice excerpts:

      “”he was like a live grenade with the trigger half-pulled, waiting to be set off.””

      What’s especially horrible is that was by no means the most embarrassing bit of wordplay.

      “Afterward, a few dozen Direct Action protesters piled into the top floor of a nearby McDonald’s to finalize the agenda…Murphy disagreed with the call for nonviolence and went outside. …Back inside, he brought up three phrases from the General Assembly and said each showed how Occupy Wall Street was screwing up. The first was “This shit is going to be fucking tight!” It made Occupy Congress sound like a party, Murphy thought. or like a Macy’s Parade. At most, a precursor to reform, not revolution.

      “We’re not taking it seriously yet.”

      Ya think, Murph? Maybe another Happy Meal will inspire you on how to best *Stick it to The Man*?

      1. In Murphy’s view, all systems are bound to fail; he’d rather scrap the economy and the government altogether and move back to primitivism.

        “Murphy had still not grasped that these ideas were completely irreconcilable and functionally impossible, but one should not be too hard on a guy who dropped out of high school and spent most of his life working for UPS. It *sounded cool*, and that’s what mattered.””

      2. A light rain had dampened the grass to mud, but the masses arrived once it subsided. Inclement weather is like kryptonite to Occupy Wall Street, as strong attendance is typically contingent on clear skies and warm air.

        Jesus fucking christ.

        “VIVA LA REVOLUCION!! VIVA LA REVOLUCION!!! VIVA LA [thunder] …’oh, man! fuck man… it’s gonna rain… dude… WTF. I hate that shit. …Lets beat it and come back when its warm… lets go back to McDonalds…Murph can talk about Primitivism some more…””

      3. Murphy has a different plan. In April, he’s heading out to Oakland; protesters there know how to have a good time … He won’t go into details, but he’s brainstorming. Something along the lines of a group, conceivably within Occupy Wall Street, organizing itself for actual regime change and using the demonstrations as a disguise….

        … But should the movement sputter out, Murphy said he’d reluctantly find a college in New York and finish the last few credits of his political science degree, then get a job. He would again become part of the system that he intends to destroy. He would have no choice.

        (cue parody soundtrack =

        “Faaarts…Faaarts in the wiiiind…
        All we are is Farts… in the weeeinnnd…”)

  36. Hollywood tells NHL goalie – YOU can’t use our sign!


    1. I’d have a Hollywood sign jockstrap made up so they could hold my sweaty balls.

    2. Clearly, if Bernier is forced to remove the Hollywood sign from his mask, there’s only one sensible reaction: Creating a new mask that’s a tribute to the illegal downloading of movies on the Internet.

      Someone get the BitTorrent people on the line, they’d probably understand the concept of free publicity.

  37. Completely off topic but since the topic of geologists came up here is a fun story;

    A few years back a houston company was trying to run a bauxite mine in British Guyana. They sent a team of geologists down to explore the ore body. A couple of weeks later they recieved a purchase order from the team; 5000 tampax and 5000 rubbers.
    The mine manager, who had not yet gone to the site, flew down immediately to investigate.

    1. He fully expected to discover a drunken gaggle of miners running a cat house. Instead, he found that the lowland area they were exploring was riddled with creeks. These creeks meandered back and forth so that to survey a straight line of any length, the crews had to wade through the same creeks multiple times.

      1. There is a little fish living in those creeks…cute little thing, known as the candiru. It is a catfish about 1 to 1.5 inches long. It has the annoying habit of burrowing up either your ass or your urethra and lodging itself there for the purpose of eating it’s way through you. Surgery is generally required to remove them.

        Thus the rubbers and tampons.

        1. They usually follow the waste upstream when you piss in the water and then get lodged up inside. I’d never heard of them going up people’s asses, that sounds like some harsh shit.

          1. There have been only three recorded cases of the candiru being found in human orifices. Two were extracted from women’s vaginas, and a third, allegedly lodged within a man’s urethra, had a head circumference of over 11 mm. This would take a lot of effort to accomplish, probably beyond the ability of the fish without, er, assistance. Plus, swimming up a small stream of water like this is pretty much impossible.

            1. diameter, not circumference.

        2. I can’t read the word “Candiru” without thinking of the Venture Brothers.

  38. My real question is, should I experiment with my six-year-old boy/girl twins to see if I can manipulate the very forces of nature — play God, if you will?
    Wait. Why am I asking? Of course I should.

    Shall we refer to you as Citizen Mengele henceforth?

    1. I was thinking more Baron von Frankenstein (“That’s Frankensteen“) but, whatever.

      1. Aha!

        A Citizen Mengele would naturally have a big boner for a Gen. Sherman.

        1. I always thing of you, Lm, when I visit the Sherman statue on the statehouse lawn.

  39. Mayor Michael Bloomberg has “outlawed…food donations to homeless shelters because the city can’t assess their salt, fat and fiber content.”

    Because apparently it’s better that the homeless starve to death than maybe eat something that’s slightly unhealthy. What a fucktard.

    Let’s just skip straight to the Soylent Green scenario. Think of all the JOBZZZZ!!!!!! created!

    1. http://www.nyc.gov/html/dhs/html/home/home.shtml

      2000 employees serving 40,000 odd homeless. Yeah, just letting them starve is what this is all about.

      1. Sugar Free called exactly what this is about. If people donate the food, the suppliers are not getting paid. That is what this is about.

      2. Odd homeless?
        Why do you hate the homeless, Neu?

        1. Why did Sherman and Sheridan and Custer and Miles et al hate the indians?

          1. Don’t know but at least Son of the Morning Star and Little Phil were no chickenhawks. They didn’t hang back around headquarters but led their troops into the thick of the battle.

        2. Why do you hate the homeless, Neu?

          I don’t hate the odd, just their unwillingness to be divided by two.

          1. It’s the half person left over that’s the issue, NM. Gets messy, and don’t the homelesss have enough problems?

  40. OT, but had to share. Last week there was a kid waiting for the bus downtown and his pant were down to his knees. He thought he looked cool. I took one look and burst out laughing. It’s as if he was self-hazing.

    Of course it’s possible that someday I’ll see a kid saggin’ to their ankles, but I doubt it.

    1. I thought the whole “saggin'” trend played out already. Then again I have seen some teenagers now wearing the same shit that my generation wore in junior high 20 years ago. Sometimes I think the fashion industry just throws all the unsold stuff in a warehouse and waits 20 years to bring it back and sell it as “retro-hip”, or some shit like that.

      1. Were these rich teenagers that wore new clothes of the same fashion as our junior high years or were these poor kids actually wearing 20 yr old clothes?

        1. Rich suburbanite teens wearing new clothes of the same style that was popular when I grew up.

      2. It’s still pissing people off -> it’s still going strong.

    2. The scary thing is that when I pick my kid up at kindergarten, there are other dads that have saggy pants.

      That’s what I get for waiting until my 30’s to have a kid. The other dads are in their 20’s, that is to say, punk ass morons.

    3. driving around Petersburg, VA, I saw guys sagging down to their knees quite often. My though was… “how can you run from the cops with your pants down like that?”

  41. The April issue has Bernanke on the cover as a Hero for saving the global economy.

    Is that the one with the morose beard-stroking ruminations about how society has been cheapened and coarsened by the ever-expanding plague of economic thought and the “Markets in All Things” mentality?

    *I found it via Arts & Letters Daily. Apparently this is something of a fad in academia, these days. There seemed to be several similar pieces linked.

    1. He does have a nice beard.

      1. I always knew you were gay.


      2. He does have a nice beard.

        I’d give her a tentative “meh”. http://news.xinhuanet.com/engl…..12_11n.jpg

  42. And, of course, all that earnest huffing and puffing about “How can you put a proper value on the benefits of a liberal arts education and the genteel associations you form with the academic community?” sounds exactly like the “You can’t put a price tag on community spirit!” bleating from the beneficiaries of publicly funded sports arenas.

    it’s where you go when the numbers don’t add up.

    1. $0.

      I just did.

      1. (golf clap)

    2. Have a look here.

      Unlike a normal scientist, Kuhn held, “a student in the humanities has constantly before him a number of competing and incommensurable solutions to these problems, solutions that he must ultimately examine for himself.”

      So humanities students are better than scientists because… well because.

      1. Well E.O. Wilson said, “Science, if done correctly, is one of the Humanities.”

        As someone with a degree in Humanities, I don’t want to get into better or worse, because that’s stupid “Two Cultures” posturing.

        I must say that the difference is that in Science, there is only one methodology to find a solution, the scientific method. That is what makes Science, Science. Before the scientific methods, Science was merely “Natural Philosophy.” I don’t wish to return to those days.

        That having been said, in the Humanities, some scholars can be as intractable as those scientists that resisted quantum theory because it disrupted their 19th Century physics paradigm. We call them “Marxists’.

  43. What’s all this, then?

  44. That OWS article is great. These idiots actually think top-down national structure is more effective – at battling a top-down national structure – than grass-roots movements combining forces.

    The War on Terror and the War On Drugs are abject failures not only because they’re stupid ideas, but because they are incapable of dealing with grass-roots forces. But top-down structure appeals to ego-trippers more than actual change does.

    1. The majority of people in Louisiana had family that grew up on a family farm at the most two generations back. For the most part, this state understand the costs and benefits of work and sensible behavior. That is not to say that we dont have idiots aplenty, but we had no OWS shit here that I know of……unless you count New Orleans.

      Oh, when will we get another Katrina? *crossing fingers*

  45. Well, look’a here!



  46. Sounds like a plan dude.


  47. The majority of the people involved with helping this cause had a history of substance abuse and a high percentage of those people came from the Downtown East side

    The Servants of Hope is a non profit charity that has been helping the people of Vancouver’s downtown east side for the past 6 years. Alongside hot meals and warm coats they serve up a sense of hope and a chance at a new life. Below is a video link from Christmas 2012 over one hundred people came together to feed the homeless and do outreach we served over one thousand people that night


  48. The majority of the people involved with helping this cause had a history of substance abuse and a high percentage of those people came from the Downtown East side

    The Servants of Hope is a non profit charity that has been helping the people of Vancouver’s downtown east side for the past 6 years. Alongside hot meals and warm coats they serve up a sense of hope and a chance at a new life. Below is a video link from Christmas 2012 over one hundred people came together to feed the homeless and do outreach we served over one thousand people that night


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