Oh, for the love of all that is pivotal and game changing. Can this primary just be over already? Enough already with the exit-poll slicing and dicing, the ballot box procedural inanity, the endless jockeying for the lead, the non-plans and cringe-inducing speeches, the increasingly desperate false promises and outright lies. It's all blending together. At this point, GOP primary events are sort of like late-model Nicholas Cage movies: some bland, some terrible, all absurd, all forgettable.
But fine, let's recap The Story So Far: Tonight, Romney has already won three states, and so has his chief rival, Rick Santorum. And the two are running in a near dead heat in Ohio, which is arguably the biggest prize of the night. Politico's Alexander Burns starts his where-we're-at-now summary with the following flash of nobody's-won frustration: "A Super Tuesday primary night that was supposed to bring clarity to the Republican presidential race threatened to create an even deeper muddle, as the 10 states voting across the country scattered every which way and the most important battleground, Ohio, remained too close to call." A muddle! A mess! A mystery! "It's not over with yet!" warns CNN's ubiquitous Wolf Blitzer, who on nights like this is to words what all-you-can-eat buffets are to food. He says so much, and yet reveals so little. Much like tonight's election results. Regardless of the outcome, there's not much to look forward to here. Will Romney win the evening? Will Santorum? The bad news is that the answer to one of those questions is yes.