Media Criticism

President Dreamypants

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Feminism

Jezebel, the website about lady-things, has this headline up: "Your Morning Swoon: President Obama Sings 'Sweet Home Chicago.'" Here is some of the writing underneath that headline:

Last night, the President and First Lady hosted an all-star blues concert at the White House. There were a lot of famous musicians there—BB King, Buddy Guy, Mick Jagger, and more—but one man outshone them all: Barack Obama. At the end of the concert, the group started playing "Sweet Home Chicago" and roped the Prez into singing a few lines. His voice was *smooth as ever*, but the best part is the sly smile he gives as he's singing.

That "smooth as ever" hyperlink takes us to a Jezebel headline "Damn, President Obama Is Hot When He Sings Al Green."

Here is President Swoonworthy in action, taking the mic from Michael Jagger.

There are worse things than an American president enjoying a bunch of Blues greats at the White House and taking a bar or two. For instance, this is a LOT worse:

And I can even forgive the Jezebel swoon more than, say, Lucy Steigerwald can; those who revere the vocal stylings of Dennis Wilson probably shouldn't throw stones. But where the leg-tingle starts to chafe (don't stop me, I'm rolling here!) is when I have to read it in the context of allegedly high-quality journalism. As in this passage, from the lead comment in the current issue of The New Yorker:

Cover of the year

Obama believes that gross inequality damages our society, and he has forcefully criticized the deceitful banking practices that nearly destroyed the economy and pushed the homes of more than eleven million people underwater. He has been careful not to demonize the rich, but he intends to allow their Bush tax cuts to expire on schedule this year, which should go a long way toward reducing the deficit and at least a little way toward mitigating the rush toward a society of plutocrats and paupers.

Hey Dorothy Wickenden! Why don't you crawl out of the president's brain, and crawl back into his public statements and deeds, which contradict your omniscience! Like this, from April 2009:

[A]lthough there are a lot of Americans who understandably think that government money would be better spent going directly to families and businesses instead of to banks—one of my most frequent questions in the letters that I get from constituents is, "Where's my bailout?"—and I understand the sentiment. It makes sense intuitively, and morally it makes sense, but the truth is that a dollar of capital in a bank can actually result in $8 or $10 of loans to families and businesses. So that's a multiplier effect that can ultimately lead to a faster pace of economic growth. That's why we have to fix the banks.

Oh, I don't know if he actually deserves it. But it was a good movie!

The president may (or may not) "believe" this or that, and "forcefully criticize" the other, but his actions, like those of his crappy predecessor (only moreso), directly resulted in the plutocratic bad guys getting first in line for bailout money, because (from the presidential P.O.V.) they were both too big to fail and too multiplier-y to not receive transfer payments from the comparatively poor. Also, intending to allow the Bush tax cuts to expire in the election year of 2012 has precisely as much bearing on what will actually happen this year as my intention that Albert Brooks win Best Supporting Actor. Oh, and before you go using Warren Buffett as the star witness for the prosecution against well-connected plutocrats (as Wickenden does elsewhere in her little campaign document), you really need to read this great Reason piece by Peter Schweizer.

Obama has talked out of both sides of his mouth since Day 1. It is astonishing to me that there are still journalists lapping this stuff up.

NEXT: Nick Gillespie on Special Stossel on Fox Business This Thursday at 9PM ET

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    1. Bi-curious? -Datebi*cO’Mis designed for bisexual and bi-curious individuals to meet in a friendly and comfortable environment. It hopes that all members can make new friends and establish romantic relationships.

  1. Look in my eyes,
    What do you see?
    The cult of personality.

    I know your anger, I know your dreams.
    I’ve been everything you want to be.
    Oh, I’m the cult of personality.

    Like Mussolini and Kennedy,
    I’m the cult of personality.
    The cult of personality,
    The cult of personality.

    Neon lights, a Nobel prize,
    When a mirror speaks,
    The reflection lies.
    You don’t have to follow me,
    Only you can set me free.

    I sell the things you need to be.
    I’m the smiling face on your TV.
    Oh, I’m the cult of personality.

    I exploit you, still you love me.
    I tell you one and one makes three.
    Oh, I’m the cult of personality.

    Like Joseph Stalin and Gandhi,
    I’m the cult of personality.
    The cult of personality,
    The cult of personality.

    Neon lights, a Nobel prize,
    When a leader speaks, that leader dies.
    You won’t have to follow me,
    Only you can set you free.

    [more]

    1. Hit the 900 character limit, didja?

      1. Yeppers. We can’t have nice things.

        1. As long as we get to keep our monocles.

          1. No one is taking my monocle.

            1. We’ll see about that, when your eye socket is cold and dead.

              1. ProL is a regular Timmet son of Timmet. He burned out his other eye. (Although Timmet son of Timmet did it to prove his manhood, ProL did it because he was sick of seeing all the wretchedness of this world with two eyes).

                1. Stay the fuck away from me with that severed goat cock.

        2. This could have been avoided if you simply used “chorus” instead of typing out the whole thing. I think everyone here knows the song well enough.

      2. Is there now a 900 character limit?

    2. Thank you for replacing the awful song I had stuck in my head with something that doesn’t suck.

      1. An old favorite song, it sucks now because whenever I hear it, I immediately picture Obama’s face.

        1. Purify yourself within The Blues Brothers.

          1. I find that Creeping Death works well to purify my head of a shitty song.

            1. I once did a lyrical remake entitled Creeping Debt.

            2. I usually use GWAR’s Maggots.

    3. Now you’ve done it: one of H&R’s spammers is likely to start using this song to promote their dating site. 😐

    4. You gave me fortune
      You gave me fame
      You gave power in your god’s name
      I’m the cult of personality.

      Ask not what your country can do for you …
      The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.

      These are not lighthearted, romantic, trifling lyrics.

      1. They could’ve called the song, “You Fucking Morons”, if it scanned better.

    5. I kept thinking of this song when I saw the rise of Obama during his presidential campaign. Very fitting.

      1. Every day, that song was in my head during his campaign.

      2. Right down to the Nobel prize.

        1. Don’t say we weren’t warned!

    6. Man, that song kicks ass.

    7. For some reason I always thought the line was “neon lies” instead of “lights.” It’d be truthier, anyway.

  2. Matt, why do you insist on sugar-coating your thoughts on Obama. Just once, I’d like to know how you really feel.

  3. so which gop prez gets attention fm the ladies like barry & wild bill?

    1. None of them, because Team Blue is more about “feeling” than thinking.

      That, and Team Red more often elects ugly old fuckers to the WH as opposed to unqualified young hacks.

      1. that has alot to do w this suicidal attack on womens’ medical issues which will sink the entire gop downticket as well.

      2. How was Obama unqualified?

        1. 900 character limit precludes posting.

      3. Actually, Scott Brown was a bit of sex-sells candidate. Also, Mitt seems to be the most attractive guy to run for the GOP nod since Reagan. And Mitt’s sons seem to be a desirable lot among GOP female voters.

        1. Fuck, Marry, Kill: The Romney Sons

          Jezebel’s cluelessness to their rampant hypocrisy is the most hilarious part of the site.

          1. Holy shit. They may have actually unlocked the secret to the 5th fundamental, and previously unknown, force of nature: anti-self-awareness.

            It’s similar to anti-dark matter in that it repels everything around it.

          2. Yep:

            AndPreciousLittleofT… @skippy
            Okay, I’m going to speak very slowly here.My response initially was to the original question, about why the Obama daughters were off-limits while the Romney boys weren’t. If you don’t like my answer, there’s an entire world’s worth of beaches with ample sand you can go pound.You really think these glad-handing trust fund kids have ever been the victims of injustice? Or been date-raped? Or been catcalled on the street? Like it or not, there IS a double standard. And in this case, I’m entirely fine with the entitled sons of an entitled white ex-governor being objectified here. It’s one drop against an ocean of ongoing misogyny and injustice towards women. You don’t agree, then please to be fucking off now.And I didn’t just admit I’m a hypocrite, I *celebrate* it. If you want to insult people, get a better set of weapons, son.

          3. from the comments:
            You really think these glad-handing trust fund kids have ever been the victims of injustice? Or been date-raped? Or been catcalled on the street? Like it or not, there IS a double standard. And in this case, I’m entirely fine with the entitled sons of an entitled white ex-governor being objectified here. It’s one drop against an ocean of ongoing misogyny and injustice towards women

            It’s okay to do it to men because women have suffered from it in the past.

          4. When did Jezebel readers develop an interest in men?

          5. This is exactly what Mary Wollstonecraft had in mind.

          6. I can see this as the next Santorum attack ad:

            “Proof that Mitt Romney is a liberal: Jezebel.com editorial staff would fuck and/or marry three of the five Romney children.”

            1. Meanwhile, you couldn’t pay Quagmire to fuck Salty Ham Tears Santorum with Ann Coulter’s dick.

        2. Rand Paul is teh sexy. I do him, even with that full head of hair.

          1. …even with that full head of hair.

            You’re dead to me now, KK.

            1. HA! Why? Cause I compromised by bald-is-beautiful life philosophy for a stinkin politician?

              1. by = my

  4. And that second video was by turns amusing, awkward, and then insanely awkward. I couldn’t finish it.

  5. Both of the recent clips of him singing really bothered me. I think because the narcissism that is at the core of Obama was fully and unabashedly on display.

    1. Also, compare and contrast:

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v…..ature=fvst

      1. Great recording. Btw, why are there 35 dislikes? Who the hell dislikes Robert Johnson?

      2. That’s unfair, Lucy. No one compares to Robert Johnson.

        1. Well, in fairness to Lucy, both sold their souls to the devil.

          1. Well, in fairness to Lucy, both sold their souls to the devil.

            Well, in fairness to Mr. Johnson, only one of them came away with any talent.

            1. Ralph Macchio again muthafuckas!

              1. Yeah, “The Day Steve Vai was PWND By The Karate Kid”.

                A day that will live in infamy…

      3. Hey Lucy,

        Now that we’ve got you here, any plans to drop the ban hammer on White Indian?

    2. What else has he got? He might as well take up juggling.

        1. Poor scared tiny babies!

      1. How about taking up Juggalos instead?

      2. I always liked plate spinning. But maybe he doesn’t want to horn in on Bernanke’s gig.

    3. Oh, and his “singing” was nothing special at all. He was barely doing more than speaking louder than usual.

    4. Yeah, that’s what I got out of the “sly smile”: “My shit don’t stink!”

    5. He’s the most powerful man in the world and you expect him to be humble? Or is it just this specific president whose uppity attitude you have a problem with?

      1. I expect the “most powerful man in the world” (whatever that means) to act like an adult. I’m not fond of great power being handed to juvenile fools.

        Of course the current occupant is hardly the first with this problem. But he is the current one hence that’s where my concern currently lies.

        1. Because he sang in public?

          1. Maybe because he regularly holds extravagant little concerts for himself and his chosen supporters and friends. Fucking tone deaf bullshit. Government is not supposed to provide entertainment.

            I don’t give a fuck if he wants to sing all of his future press conferences and Jezebel goes all gooey over it. It’ the stupid vanity bullshit (like the vacations too) that drive people nuts.
            And no, he is not the only one who has done it and the rest of them are all fuckers too.

            1. If I were president, I’d provoke a similar outcry by selling ad space on my chest. Want me to wear your t-shirt for the State of the Union (which I’ll tape at hope and post on YouTube)? Fifty million bucks.

      2. He’s the most powerful man in the world and you expect him to be humble?

        You, uh, got a little something on your chin there, Tony.

        1. Sorry ’bout that!

          1. Chin nuts? Hell no you’d have a dick in your mouth!

        2. That’s mine!

      3. He’s the most powerful man in the world and you expect him to be humble?

        Yes, in fact, I do. The question is, why don’t you?

        1. I don’t consider him inappropriately arrogant. But then I tend to compare him to the guy who landed on an aircraft carrier to announce the end of combat operations in Iraq.

          1. So does every criticism of a president require a disclaimer of “Bush was an asshole too” now?

            Some of us compare the president to what we think the president should be, not to the last guy who we didn’t like either.

            1. Doesn’t matter how many times we say we hated the last guy, Tony’s gotta bring him up to somehow legitimize to us the current dipshit in office.

              1. I hate him because he never called me back after that magical evening we spent together!

          2. Oblivious does not equal arrogant.

          3. I don’t consider him inappropriately arrogant.

            Then what would be inappropriate arrogance?

            And who moved the goalposts from narcissism to arrogance, anyway?

          4. What? Was he supposed to parachute into a petting zoo?

          5. Except he did?t announced that, you moron!
            “Our mission continues…The War on Terror continues, yet it is not endless. We do not know the day of final victory, but we have seen the turning of the tide”

      4. “uppity”

        Tired race troll is tired.

      5. He’s the most powerful man in the world and

        Are you sure we’re talking about a “public servant”? Or a king?

    6. It’s not merely the narcissism that’s so galling, it’s the sheer disconnectedness and lack of empathy (which liberals ironically love to believe they have the market cornered on).

      Most of America is still suffering greatly, and this guy and his fat-assed pig wife are partying like it’s 1999 and having the time of their lives.

      1. The Democrats apparently like stark contrasts:

        The economic boom of the 90’s and Clinton’s disingenuous “I feel your pain” to the current recession and Obama’s clueless narcissism.

      2. I know I’m just no fun, but how do people figure that Michelle Obama is ugly or fat? She looks to me like a reasonably fit middle-aged mother. And while her permanent sour expression turns me off, she is hardly an ugly woman.

        1. She’s not fat, certainly by current standards.

          As for ugly, well, I dunno. Ugly goes clear to the bone, you know, and in her case. . . .

          1. Sure. I don’t find her personally appealing for various reasons, but by objective standards, she’s no dog.

            1. No dog? That’s a strange way to describe a person that literally looks like a bulldog.

              1. I guess I can see that.

      3. well, they DO have less than a year left to get it all the partying in…

      4. Of course, it would really enhance your credibility if you stopped saying shit like “Fat-assed pig wife.”

  6. Whatever happened to Tabitha Soren?

    1. She’s married to Michael Lewis, and has kids. Wikipedia.

      1. Made you look.

        1. Hehehe! I was watching the video and had the same thought as you, and went straight to Wikipedia. When I got to your comment, I felt like an expert. Made you learn!

          I freaking love Wikipedia. I remember back in the day, before everyone had the internet on their phone. Two drunks arguing in a bar about sports, or movies, or bands could quickly escalate into a fist fight. Now, these minor disagreements can be resolved with a quick reference to Wikipedia on your iPhone. Technology is making the world a well informed and more peaceful place.

          1. Now when you want to start a bar fight you have to accuse the other guy of editing Wikipedia to put that false info in there while you were looking it up.

            1. *applause*

              (and now that you mention it, is it possible that a lot of the trolling here is actually bar-fight related?)

              1. Nah. It’s a libertarian site. No bar fights.

                Bong hits in Somalia, while wearing monocles.

                1. Somalia->Pirates->Bars

                  it’s mandated by The Pirate Code.

          2. Now that Reason has dusted off Kurt Loder and Kennedy, it’s definitely time to track down Tabitha Soren.

            Fuck everything: where is Pauly Shore?

  7. It is astonishing to me that there are still journalists
    lapping this stuff up. < /i>

    They’re so busy lapping the crack of his ass they forgot what their actual job description is.

    1. With proper tags even!

    2. Fourth Estate! Fourth Estate!

  8. So is the media going to try for a rerun of the ’08 election version of Barack Obama?

    Can we look forward to eight more months of Team Blue wearing sunglasses, putting on a little extra makeup to cover the bruises, and going to the party to talk about how great and dreamy Barack is?

    Personally, I look forward to the new Shpard Fairey poster that says “HOPE (he doesn’t start another war)”

    1. Can we look forward to eight more months of Team Blue wearing sunglasses, putting on a little extra makeup to cover the bruises, and going to the party to talk about how great and dreamy Barack is?

      Do you really think they have the brains or the independence to do anything else?

    2. Of course, the fatal flaw in that approach is that the idiot now has a record he has to run on. He can’t be mystical cypher-man anymore.

      1. Their Ignore powers are maxed out.

        Seriously, I heard some idiot talking about how Obama was going to be great on stopping the WoD in his second term, followed by other idiots agreeing with him.

        Cleansing fire. That’s the only thing I can think of.

        1. Accountability is dead in this country.

      2. Evidently, he wants a record, too.

  9. It was sweet; why do Libertarians drag politics into everything? The blues night had nothing to do with deficit

    1. My liberal friends on Facebook are all posting about how awesome that video is. You think it’s got nothing to do with politics?

      1. ClubMedSux,
        Correlation does not imply causation

    2. Oh really? And who do you think pays the bills at the house that little party was held at?

      1. who do you think pays the bills …”?
        the descendents of Americans who payed for Washington’s cultural entertainment

    3. It was sweet; why do Libertarians drag politics into everything?

      You’d think some things would be self-evident, but no.

      It’s a political blog post on a political site. What are we supposed to drag into the discussion, scrapbooking tips?

      1. Holy fuck! I thought this was a T&A rating site

        1. I love me some political T&A.

    4. The blues night had nothing to do with deficit

      Nope it doesn’t. That fact that the brother couldn’t “carry that tune in a bucket”…well that’s a goddamn shame!

  10. LOL these are “empowered” feminists?

    What is empowering about having Obama’s ballprints on your chin?

    1. a high protein diet can be empowering.

    2. You can read all about that in my new book:

      Imprints: My love affair with the White House

  11. Why don’t you crawl out of the president’s brain

    I don’t think the brain was the body part she crawled into to write that passage.

    1. Exactly, see my comment above.

  12. Isn’t that a great cover, Matt?

    I love The New Yorker, man!

    1. They need to stop using a gay libertarian as their cartoon mascot, though.

      1. I’d fuck her/him/it.

        1. I’m sure you’d make a lovely couple.

          My complaint was mainly that if they want that mascot, they should do more articles about libertarians.

          And gays, if they don’t already do articles on them.

          1. Smart writing + comix = pure libertarianism.

  13. If Obama would have sung “Sweet Home Alabama”, then sung “Free Bird” as an encore, instead of giving this years State of the Bullshit Address, I’d be voting for him.

    1. All seventeen minutes of “In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida” is all I require. He has to hum the instrumental parts, too.

      1. “Like a Virgin”. That would do it, too.

        1. I’ve got it: “The End.”

            1. Yes, presidents do have napalm at their disposal, don’t they?

              1. If Obama does the whole Kurtz soliloquy in the final minutes of his term, I will be forever grateful to him for his artistic contribution.

      2. How ’bout all 22 minutes of Get Ready? (Rare earth’s version)

      1. Didn’t Milli Vanilli cover that first song? That’s some subtle you got there Ted.

        1. I think all of their songs were covers.

  14. So explain to me why it’s necessary to demonize or mock women for being attracted to public figures? I don’t suppose it’s because female sexuality frightens you?

    I know male privilege is hard to forfeit but stop trying to make women feel bad about their sexuality.

    1. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

      1. MICROAGGRESSOR!

        1. You say it mockingly, but this website http://microaggressions.com/ actually does a good job of showing the continual pervasiveness of white hetero male privilege.

          1. What’s it like to be a perpetual victim?

            1. What’s it like to be a perpetual aggressor?

              1. I think, therefore I agress.

              2. It rocks. You should try it. You get to crush your enemies, drive them before you, and hear the lamentations of their families.

                1. And wear a monocle! How could you forget the monocle-wearing?

                  1. I prefer a pince-nez. Unorthodox, I know, but we’re libertarians. Surely we have some room for unorthodoxy.

                  2. Is Kristen the Uncle Tom for microaggressors?

                    1. “Is Kristen the Uncle Tom for microaggressors?”

                      Sexist. She’s obviously the, uh, wasshername from Gone w the Wind?

                2. To tiring! Can I just move on to the open steppe, a fleet horse and a falcon on my wrist?

                  Or is that whitish barbarian male privilege?

              3. What’s it like to be a perpetual aggressor?

                Pretty awesome. Anybody can do it. You should give it a try.

                You’ve got a good start, with the passive/aggressive whining. Just drop the whining, and own your aggression.

                1. This world is the will to power–and nothing besides!

          2. We say it mockingly because of that site. Again, lurk moar.

            1. It’s a sockpuppet, dudes. Come on. This one is less obvious-er than most, but still.

              1. And? Like I said, my afternoon just perked up a lil bit!

              2. If it isn’t, he should be advised that women don’t, by and large, actually like pussies.

              3. But it’s an hilarious sockpuppet!

                1. That was a close call. . .for you.

                  1. Don’t impose your UsAmerican imperialist grammar rules on me, pugnacious patriarch!

                    1. You’ll speak American English and like it. Or you’ll hear the sound of one drone droning.

          3. This is a spoof, right?

            Okay, folks, own up. Who is this really? Is it SF?

            Anyway, if it isn’t a spoof… welcome to Hit and Run. Steve Smith should be leading our welcome committee soon.

      1. Actually, I’m not. And even if I were this only shows that you’re a grotesque sizeist asshole.

        Pssst, your privilege is showing.

        1. grotesque sizeist asshole

          Hahahaha, that’s the best laugh I’ve had today. Thanks.

        2. grotesque sizeist asshole.

          So what’s it like to be perpetually offended?

          1. She’s going to ask you what it’s like to be perpetually aggressive.

            1. I forgot, my privilege is showing.

              We need more Jezebel commenters here, they are WAY more entertaining than Chony and Mingey.

        3. Showing fat people on TV was one of the blowbacks of 9/11 and the War on Terror.

        4. Tman’s comment, by the way, was not an example of sexism. It’s an example of someone knowing exactly where you’re going to go with this, and throwing it in your face. In other words, he’s just mocking you.

          Take that back to your feminist friends. They never seem to get hyperbole, and walk right into it every time.

        5. Pssst, your privilege is showing.

          White Idiot has donned a new persona.

          1. If it were WI, it would be:

            Your PRIVilege is showing.

    2. It’s not necessary. Just funny.

    3. MWAHAHHAAA!

      Lurk moar.

    4. jessie – until you post a pic w teh nakeds, these mens will other you.

      1. Thanks o3, I can see that.

        1. And the dreaded MALE GAZE.

          1. So a well respected academic concept that has been studied across the world is now a punchline? Maybe to you, but not the people that matter.

            1. but not the people that matter

              Your elitism is showing!

            2. Jessie came to H&R and told me my opinion about an academic concept did not matter. I feel so othered I am going home from work early to cuddle with my life partner.

            3. I’m GAZING you And your well respected academic concept!

            4. People that matter?

              QUICKLY! To the microagression blog! Holy Classim and othering Batman!

            1. What tits?

              1. Whose elitism is showing, now?

                1. Her tits are bigger than mine, actually, but c’mon. If you’re gonna perpetuate the Male Gaze on someone, why not the chick in blue, who seems to have a bit more to devour.

                  1. Perhaps he was pining for the days of pregnancy yore:

                    http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_dHMU…..img011.jpg

                  2. Royal tits have to count for something though.

                  3. Her tits are bigger than mine

                    How you doin?

              2. D-cuppist!

        2. He’s right you know. Orrin posted nude pics of himself about a year ago and now we mostly ignore him.

    5. I know male privilege is hard to forfeit

      raceclassgender!

      signed,

      Someone complicit in the structures of hegemony imposed by the Eurocentric patriarchy and its strategies of domination.

    6. Nice to see that maturity is flourishing here in “Reason” country.

      I suspect you resort to insults when faced with your unsupportable, privileged male position.

      1. I is ofended by u resirtin to ur speling and gramer prvelge

      2. I’m curious: How, exactly, is male privilege exercised in anonymous internet forums?

        1. Cis-normatively, of course.

        2. it’s a bit of PHP code.

        3. If you are not continually harping on the problem, then you ARE part of the problem.

        4. Via low self-esteem apparently.

        5. ooh, we need a MALE GAZE font.

      3. Shorter Jessie: I iz perpetual victim.

      4. Said position is only unsupportable if Jessie has really short hair.

    7. Who is this? AuH20? Pretty amusing imitation of a Jezebel reader I have to say.

      1. I agree – my afternoon just got much more entertaining!

      2. You do me a great honor, good sir, but it is not I. Seriously, though, I am touched by your belief in my trolling skills.

    8. So explain to me why it’s necessary to demonize or mock women for being attracted to public figures?

      We mock the men too. It’s not all about you, honey.

      1. So explain to me why it’s necessary to demonize or mock women for being attracted to public figures?


        Starfuckers, Inc.

      2. Yeah, I think we tore Chris Matthews a new one.

        By the way, if talk about we are attracted to, say, Rep. Kristi Noem, are we kosher, or are we othering her?

    9. We celebrate all the strong women of the White Tigress Tradition.

    10. Nobody is trying to make you feel bad for your sexuality or demonizing you. You are being mocked for being supposed independent minded women who suddenly wet themselves whenever the president does something. Basically, your actions do not match all your constant bitching and moaning.

    11. I know male privilege is hard to forfeit but stop trying to make women feel bad about their sexuality.

      Just shut the fuck up and go get me another beer.

      1. and a sammich!

    12. When one inserts one’s own “female sexuality” in order to make a rather juvenile political point, it is entirely worthy of mock, Jessie.

      Here’s a thought experiment. What if Obama, once elected, had reversed himself on abortion, and come out in support of overturning Roe vs. Wade and criminalizing abortion nationwide. Still think the ladies at Jezebel would be “swooning” in this manner?

      1. Exactly. I don’t vote based on which candidate I would like to shtup more. Well, most of them are guys, so blech. But in the case of females. I’d rather vote an ugly libertarian than a drop dead gorgeous liberal twit.

    13. Open the floodgates! Release the MICROAGGRESSIONS:

      All textures welcome?we can fix that!

      Sign outside salon in Richmond, VA. Made me feel angry that that any person’s hair texture can be considered wrong

      1. Well I guess it goes to show how intimidated men get by women’s sexuality when they express it for an African
        American president.

        Hmmmm, sexist/racist much?

        1. The term “African-American” perpetuates the old “one-drop” othering Southern dogma that “part black = all black”.

          Check your racial privilege.

        2. Jessie, you are just perpetuating the white woman/black man stereotype that led to the Jim Crow laws. The true racist in this chat… is you!

        3. I guess it goes to show how intimidated men get by women’s sexuality…..

          Or bored….horribly horribly bored.

      2. Bath-dodging hippie feels othered by stylist who doesn’t want to touch her dirty hair!

      3. Microagression? I got your microagressions right here!

        The survey-taker notes “female” for me before asking me for my age. I feel taken aback that she could so blatantly ask me every other line item but presume this answer. However, I don’t comment because I’m still too baffled that I am being surveyed about “tourism” at an academic conference, and hung up on the fact that what I consider an excessively expensive work day keeps getting framed as fun tourism vacation time.

        In Montreal. I’m a 20-something genderqueer first-generation graduate student. I feel marginalized both for my gender and my SES. What possibilities abound if the sex/gender line were always free response?

        1. “What possibilities abound if the sex/gender line were always free response”

          The possibility that demographic correlations will be unobtainable?

    14. “So explain to me why it’s necessary to demonize or mock women for being attracted to public figures?”

      Because it encourages them to vote for awful assholes that ruin shit for everyone? At least the women who write love letters to serial killers in prison are only risking themselves.

      “stop trying to make women feel bad about their sexuality”

      If asshole-worship is female sexuality, then women should feel bad about their sexuality.

      1. Except when applied to lesbian anal by Viv Thomas.

      2. The sad fact is, when unleashed and uncoupled from a cultural mooring that channels male and female sexuality in constructive ways, that is EXACTLY what female sexuality becomes. To wit, North American and British women.

      3. Cynical,

        What you got to understand is that feminism is a post-Marxist totalitarian brand that aims at the legal and social supremacy of women in every sphere of human action. All rights, all privileges, no responsibility.

        If the bitch-made politicians stopped conspiring with them, including idiots like Bill Bennett, we might have a chance at restoring some sanity to a broken Western civ.

        1. What you got to understand is that feminism is a post-Marxist totalitarian brand that aims at the legal and social supremacy of women in every sphere of human action. All rights, all privileges, no responsibility.

          Actually it aims at the legal and social supremacy of certain women. The right women. The elites. Whores, strippers, stay-at-home-moms, drug addicts, blue collars or run-of-the-mill heteros need not apply.

          And that, in a nutshell, is why feminists drive me up a friggin wall and make me sound like an Uncle Tom.

    15. So explain to me why it’s necessary to demonize or mock women for being attracted to public figures?

      Because supporting someone for public office because you find them aesthetically appealing is about as irrational of an act as a voter can commit.

      Therefore, the act deserves to be both condemned and mocked for its ridiculousness. Sort of like what is going on in this thread.

      I don’t suppose it’s because female sexuality frightens you?

      Frighten? My good woman, female sexuality is the third most entertaining thing in the world, after opiates and Civilization IV.

      1. Oh I see, us silly women can’t express how we’re attracted to a president because it turns out that’s ALL we’re basing our opinions on? Well my stars, I guess I’ll have to let my my husband vote for me.

        1. Well my stars, I guess I’ll have to let my my husband vote for me.

          Please don’t. If he married you, he clearly lacks judgment.

          1. In fact, I’d say he gets a negative vote. It goes to the opposite of whoever he voted for.

          2. Don’t be so hard on her. A strong man with the right set of beliefs can influence a clearly weak-minded female like Jessie. There is hope. But she likely married some de-balled beta that she can control and eventually abandon while calling him “kitchen bitch” and hopping on the nearest available “manly” schwanz.

        2. Yeah right. That’s all the ladies at Jezebel were doing – making a politically objective assessment of aesthetic quality. They weren’t trying to say something inredibly silly, juvenile, and superficial like “my candidate is hotter than your candidate” about a President who, as Matt said, has “talked out of both sides of his mouth since day one.”

          As Obama would say, yes you can. Feel free to express just how hot you all think he is. But don’t be surprised if those of us who aren’t “swooning” for him and are actually quite disappointed with him see right through you from the beginning and mock you accordingly.

        3. You made that poor bastard take your last name, didn’t you?

        4. Oh I see, us silly women can’t express how we’re attracted to a president because it turns out that’s ALL we’re basing our opinions on? Well my stars, I guess I’ll have to let my my husband vote for me.

          That’s one way. Another is…you could just…not be an idiot?

    16. Man, I was having such a shitty day until Jessie came along. Please, tell your friends at Jezebel and Feministing about us!

      Also, if this is a sockpuppet- thank you sockpuppet master. I needed this today.

    17. I wonder how you’d feel about us discussing how sexy a female president was?

    18. Strangely your idea of female sexuality is identical to that of a prostitute. Except an actual prostitute is more self-aware.

  15. Dennis Wilson’s solo record is excellent.

    1. Surfin’ D.O.A.

  16. When I see video of a politician singing (not just Obama) I can’t help but think of Peter Ustinov’s portrayal of Nero in Quo Vadis?.

    1. Charles Laughton was much better in the original, The Sign of the Cross.

  17. Speaking of chicks, where are the other reason bitches such as Dagny T and Devils Advocate these days? Not that I mind carrying the chick torch, but it’s kinda heavy and I don’t have great upper body strength.

    1. Lemme help you with that, sweetie.

      1. Thanks you privileged, strong, manly man! *giggleblush*

        1. Your stockholm syndrome is showing.

          1. I haven’t been so entertained by a troll since….well…ever. Keep it up!

            1. That’s it! You’re out of the Sisterhood. Find your own damn travelling pants.

              1. I wonder if we could ever find a magical pair of pants that would fit everyone in The Axis perfectly? [sigh]

                1. I’m not wearing any pants that Epi has already excreted into.

                2. Spandex thong, size XXXXL.

                3. magical pair of pants

                  Sweatpants?

          2. arf arf arf arf arf!

    2. the chick torch: heavy and fire.

      Definitely a man-thing.

      1. And phallic!

      2. Tewtally! Every time I go camping I always leave that complicated a scary fire-building stuff to the menfolk while I make myself busy sprucing up the tent and putting out the condiments.

        1. Has anyone asked you to marry them yet? I’ll have to check with my wife first, but you seem like an open-minded gal.

          1. Unfortunately I can’t get over my heteronormative, female-suppressing upbringing and one of those daggone monogamists you hear about. Sorry bout dat.

          2. Unfortunately I can’t get over my heteronormative, female-suppressing upbringing and one of those daggone monogamists you hear about. Sorry bout dat.

            1. Fucking sonofabitch goddamn squirrels.

          3. Unfortunately I can’t get over my heteronormative, female-suppressing upbringing and one of those daggone monogamists you hear about. Sorry bout dat.

          4. Geez, three times the rejection!

  18. I seem to remember being told that merely noting that Sarah Palin was attractive was an example of misogyny.

    1. How dare you apply equal standards!

      1. “I heard their periods attract bears.”

        1. A Will Ferrell movie? FUCK YOU.

        2. You hear that? BEARS! You’re putting the whole thread in danger!

    2. I seem to remember being told that merely noting that Sarah Palin was attractive was an example of misogyny.

      Close, it’s an example of otherfication.

      Specifically, noting that a Republican woman is hot is to also “other” Democrat women, who are almost invariably barrel-chested, hairy-backed, cankle-having galoots.

      1. otherfication

        my god, they make up a word for every fucking imaginary thing, don’t they?

        1. my god, they make up a word for every fucking imaginary thing, don’t they?

          Actually, that’s just my bastardization of the word ‘othering’.

          1. Sadly, Google tells me that it is actually used in academic “discourse”.

            Although there seems to be a pillow fight about whether it should be “otherization” or “otherfication.”

    3. I think it’s more of an example of macular degeneration.

      1. fallace [sic] toting macular degenerates!

  19. The entirety of the Gawker Media empire is so stuffed up Obama’s butt they’re bumping into last night’s dinner.

    As for any other candidates, NOCD.

  20. For instance, this is a LOT worse:

    I question your aging-hipster cred.

    ’90s Soul Asylum is certainly one of the world’s shittiest things, but While You Were Out and Hang Time are the best allegedly-punk-but-really-just-anachronistically-late-classic-rock albums EVAR.

    I’m sure that’s why Clinton invited them to be on TV with him. Shiftin’ that back catalog. He just didn’t mention it because he didn’t wanna freak out the squares.

    Of which I allege you are one.

    1. I’m a huge fan of And the Horse They Rode in On; all more the reason to wince as they play “Runaway Train” and fucking “Don’t Stop” to celebrate some National Service bullshit at the White House.

      1. Matt I generally agree with your sentiment, but even the first Gen X president won’t play this at inauguration.

        1. I figure Been Caught Stealin’ would be more appropriate for an inauguration

          1. Most of them don’t get caught.

          2. I have always contended that the Obama administration’s unofficial motto should be “gonna start tomorrow….”

            1. Have we already forgotten this execrable train wreck?

              1. I tried to forget it, but you had to bring it up.

            2. Given Barry’s age, his theme song should probably be MacArthur Park. His economic policies make about as much sense

            3. Steak for dinner sometime soon, Schmai-Gunug willing.

            4. President Obama, I serve with Jane, I know Jane, Jane is a friend of mine. President Obama, you’re no Jane.

              Actually, she is a very nice person. But yeah, Jane Says.

        2. If the first Gen X president has any taste, he’ll play Detachable Penis at the inauguration. King Missile always wins in the end.

          1. I’ve never been so disappointed as when I went to Tipitina’s to see some real New Orleans music and King Missile was playing.

          2. I’d go with “double fucked by two black studs”.

          3. Now I want to run for President!

            If I can hire Henry Rollins to write my inauguration speech, I REALLY want to!

      2. Hey Matt,

        Any plans to drop the ban hammer on White Indian?

      3. more the reason to wince as they play “Runaway Train”

        I work for the railroad, which means that I’ve heard that song enough times as someone’s ringtone around the office that if I never hear it again, it’ll be too soon. Came with “Crazy Train.”

        1. *SAME with “Crazy Train”

          1. No love for Blackfoot?

            1. No love for Blackfoot?

              They’re actually from my city. But no, I’m kind of squeamish about southern rock. I can handle some Allman Brothers in small doses, but that’s really about it.

    2. And now I have “Runaway Train” stuck in my head so fuck you all.

        1. I second your barf, and add a coughing fit that ends with a thunderous fart.

      1. See my link above. Even if you hate Jane’s Addiction, it’s better than Runaway Train.

        1. See my link above.

          It’s blocked.

          I just start humming “Creeping Death” whenever I get something crappy stuck in my head. Drives it out every time.

          1. Best Metallica song ever.

          2. I start singing “Informer”, myself.

            1. Fuck you, RBM. I coulda gone my whole life without ever thinking of that song again.

              1. ? A licky boom-boom down ?

            2. I remain blissfully ignorant.

            3. Informer was a big hit when I was studying abroad, so despite its less-than-stellar cred, it brings back very fond memories. As does Hope of Deliverance and Ace of Base All That She Wants.

              Good times.

              1. You want war RBM? This bit of hispanopop will never leave your brain.

        2. Anything is better than Runaway Train. The entire Extreme catalogue is better than Runaway train

          1. Hootie and the Blowfish?

            1. I actually have four Hootie songs in my library. It probably has more to do with nostalgia than quality.

              1. The only H&B song I own is on Encomium where they do a cover of “Hey Hey What Can I Do” that could cure insomnia.

                Sheryl Crow’s cover of “D’yer Mak’er” could cure erectile dysfunction.

                1. What? It’s legal to cover Zeppelin? Wow, you learn something new every day.

                  And don’t tell me that they were doing covers, too. That’s different–they didn’t suck.

                  1. I heard Gretchen Wilson do a cover of “Black Dog”. Once. In concert.

                    My shame…it has no bounds!

                  2. Encomium is a decent album.

                    Blind Melon’s cover of “Out on the Tiles” is nothing short of awesome, and Henry Rollins’ cover of “Four Sticks” will make your ears bleed.

                  3. Wolfmother does cover Zeppelin a lot. They do it well, too.

                2. Sheryl Crow’s cover of “D’yer Mak’er” could cure erectile dysfunction.

                  Sheryl Crow’s cover of “D’yer Mak’er” could cure erectile dysfunction.

              2. I saw H&B in an MWR concert at Basic. I will always have a soft spot in my heart for them because the concert allowed us to have pizza for the first time in several weeks.

            2. Damn you for even mentioning that crap

          2. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves.

  21. “but the truth is that a dollar of capital in a bank can actually result in $8 or $10 of loans to families and businesses. So that’s a multiplier effect”

    For people who understand the monetary system,

    multiplier effect = counterfeiting and monetary inflation

  22. It is astonishing to me that there are still journalists lapping this stuff up.

    How can we take you seriously when you engage in this sort of hyperbole?

  23. He might as well take up juggling.

    Did anybody else hear that? It was like some sort of high-pitched whistle.

    1. How about tap-dancing?

  24. Since Kurt Loder is in that video, I’ll make the obligatory statement: Why come their r movie reviews on Reason?

    1. Because it is a magazine about politics and culture.

  25. What’s it like to be a perpetual victim?

    It hurts.

    It hurts in a confusing, vaguely erotic way. And when the hurt stops, you want it to start again. Just as soon as you catch your breath.

  26. Jessie, can you please stick around? We’ve been missing out on quality trolls here lately, and your humorless bog-standard feminist privilege-invoking victim act is a breath of fresh air.

    Being that we are good libertarians in standing, we will gladly send rectal over to Jezebel as a trade.

    1. She flew too close to the sun…

  27. http://www.accessnorthga.com/detail.php?n=245894
    This is the actual headline: Santorum blasts Obama during Cumming rally

    1. Lord help me if I have to explain why I’m cackling at my monitor.

    2. Not surprising. Obama has been polling better, lately.

      1. You said poll! Huh huh….huh huh….huh huh…

    3. Goddam! There’s tea dripping all over my monitor.

      1. “tea” – is that what the kids are calling it these days?

    4. It didn’t happen near the Siemens tower, did it?

  28. I hope Jessie comes around more than Whyte Injun and Urine. More entertaining.

    I sure do miss Herc, though.

    1. Herc’s gone. The cats finally got him.

      1. +1 “people are now looking at me” lol.

      2. HERC can never be silenced! Even when eaten by cats!

  29. Just got my dick sucked in the UT law library bathrooms for complimenting some dumb sluts Obama coffee cup and engaging in conservation over lunch. Let me be clear: I don’t care if she is imagining Obama as long it is my cock in her throat.

    1. TMI, brah, TMI.

    2. Don’t listen to the Rev! More details, man, more details!

      PS Jessie, you ’round to comment? Or are you “busy” right now….if ya know what I’m sayin’…

      1. gross, no. Do you know what the average law student looks like?

        1. A lot of them are pretty hot. A lot of hot women go to law school. It is like finishing school for snotty bitches.

          1. I am going to have to respectfully disagree. Of course, it could be the fact that law school is an extended excuse to roll in wearing pajama pants, with no makeup and possibly not having showered that ruins it for me.

            1. It has also been a long time since I went. So things may have changed. And also in may day people didn’t dress in suits but no pajamas either. I found there to be some pretty hot students in my school.

              They were generally really unpleasant and nuts. But a good number of them were hot.

              1. Hot law student in my class:

                Jennifer Grantholm.

                And yes, back in the day, she was a cutie.

          2. exactly — they are at that perfect age where they crave men’s approval and are getting desperate to find a husband.

    3. I miss the UT coeds.

  30. Careful you don’t get any santorum on your dreamypants, Mister President…

  31. So, not hat tip Matt? SF and I have been on to this Jezebel thing for years! Or months, whatever.

  32. This is one of the greatest threads we have had in a long time.

  33. Won’t someone stop the sufferaging?

  34. Seriously, one of you guys should go tell Jezebel we’re mocking and othering them. There are many more where Jessie came from.

  35. Wow, this totally makes up for all that spying, extrajudicial execution, war, and Wall Street bailouts.

    In related news, I heard Hitler really loved dogs.

    1. You know who else loves dogs?

      er, wait

  36. “Obama has talked out of both sides of his mouth since Day 1. It is astonishing to me that there are still journalists lapping this stuff up.”

    They love the taste of the Obama jizz.

    If the shit ever really hits the fan, every MSM journalist should kill themselves. If we the people get to them, there will be lots of screams first.

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