Late-Breaking Debate Open Thread! Florida! Knife-Fight!

Comment away, commenters!

Comments

[Bee Tagger]

Santorum: Invest in cloning so we can begin to replace ourselves.

[Mitt Romney]

Have you seen my family? On it.

[Drax the Destroyer]

God fucking dammit. Reason #8001 we are fucked. MOST OF THAT AUDIENCE.

[Fist of Etiquette]

WELCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

[Scruffy the Janitor]

This totally was not just thorn together...

[Scruffy the Janitor]

*thrown

[Killersontherun]

Fuck standard English phrases, I like your version better.

[Mensan]

Is this a rerun? I swear I've already heard all this bullshit before.

[Newt's Jowls]

+1

[TomD]

Just tuned in. Has Ron Paul been granted the opportunity to Actually Say Something? yet?

[Mensan]

Yes, they let him introduce himself.

[sloopyinca]

Banjos is on her way! Banjos is on her way!

[Mensan]

In case anyone missed my wit on the other thread:

UNF = ITT Tech

[sloopyinca]

Studies show that UNF is a school of higher education.

[Mensan]

Most people in Florida don't even know it exists. The only lesser known school is UWF.

[sloopyinca]

Panhandle Tech beat their ass in Mathlympics last year.

[Brett L]

UNF is in J'ville? I get fucked up because UCF is Orlando and USF is Tampa, and I'm not sure which one is further south.

[Mensan]

Tampa is.

[PI Guy]

I almost tried to explain what the N, C, and S stood for. Luckily, the caffiene kicked in and I snickered instead.

I did actually Googlize "Panhandle Tech Florida" only just moments before the Vitamin C hit...

[MissBrooks]

USF is in the Tampa area because once you're past it, you're pretty much in the north.
(USF alumnus)

[Bam!]

Pushing immigration enforcement onto employers is frickin' stupid! Stop suggesting it, morons.

[Bee Tagger]

I predict Paul will point this out.

[Newt's Jowls]

FIrst question of the night. Over/under on Paul getting a chance to answer?

[Bam!]

Can the audience demand he speak? If so...

[Bee Tagger]

Hitler youth in the house.

[Fist of Etiquette]

I hope this whole debate is about immigration, since Floridian voters are single issue voters.

[Newt Gingrich]

Young, hot Mexican women with an older US citizen history professor willing to sponsor them should be able to stay.

[CE]

Or any male US citizen, I say.

[ryback's cook]

EAT POOP AND DIE, GRANDMOTHERS

[Res Publica Americana]

TV IS UN-POSSIBLE RITE NOW, DOES ANY1 HAVE INTERNET LIVE FEED LINK PLZ?????

[Fist of Etiquette]

Enjoy.

[sloopyinca]

It's being streamed live here.

[PantsFan]

MItt's neck hair really stands out in HD

[Mensan]

Well, I guess he has my vote now. We hairy necked guys gotta stick together. Come to think of it, we have the same hairline too.

[WarrenT]

Newt was brought in by weasels.

[Fist of Etiquette]

It's pronounced kai-yotes.

[Newt's Jowls]

Mitt: "Ki-Ho-tees" [coyotes]

[WarrenT]

Yippy ki-ho-tee, motherfucker.

[Scruffy the Janitor]

Open borders!!

Or at the very least shorten the waiting lists, problem solved!!

[WarrenT]

Borders closed. Barnes and Nobles is still open though.

[WarrenT]

Wolf knows geography!

[WarrenT]

Newt! Newt! Newtie Newt!

[Bee Tagger]

How dare churches have sanctuaries!

[WarrenT]

Some churches are full of Santorum.

[Fist of Etiquette]

I am prepared to be vague.

[Newt's Jowls]

I'm always realistic in my indignation that Newt is an asshole. Just sayin'

[sloopyinca]

It's being streamed live here if anyone is stuck without a TV.

[Robert]

I just wish they had these on radio for those with no cable TV, and no hi speed Internet cx.

[Drax the Destroyer]

Breaking out the beers. Fuck watching this sober. Should have pre-gamed.

[Fist of Etiquette]

That's inexcusable. Santorum is the most anti-immigrant.

[Drax the Destroyer]

It's inexcusable Santorum has made it this far.

[Mensan]

Which is surprising since most Mexicans are Catholic, and Frothy usually puts the church first.

[HopeyChangey]

Church first*

*Does not apply for latin faction of the Catholic faith

[Bee Tagger]

Did that anti-immigrant exchange seem incredibly scripted to anyone else?

[Jerry]

Romney is a secret Mexican?

[Bam!]

RomneyBot had an attack circuit installed last night.

[A Serious Man]

Romneybot is executing righteous indignation protocol on Gingrich.

[Newt's Jowls]

Oh God, now we're bitching about attacks again. This segment sponsored by Kleenex. Talk about indignation, this indignation is insincere.

[PI Guy]

*coffee keyboard*

[Scruffy the Janitor]

Did Newt, just step into a mittrap?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Romney getting Newt-like audience responses attacking Newt.

[Scruffy the Janitor]

Newt's arrogance cannot tolerate this reality.

[Newt]

Be realistic in your indignation, like I am when someone asks me about what my second wife said about my third wife.

[Newt's Jowls]

+1

[Newt's Jowls]

Anybody else notice that Newt won't look at Romney, while Romeny is grilling his ass? haha

[Newt's Jowls]

Newt is wafflin' like an Eggo right now

[Bee Tagger]

Newt is the Obama of the Right. He is simply incapable of recognizing when he should just move on. He has to try to be the smartest person in the world on every single point, no matter how trivial.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Romney has the Gator fans.

[Brett L]

That tells me everything I need to know.

[Scruffy the Janitor]

any kind of drinking rules tonight gentlemen?

[EDG reppin' LBC]

Start now. Don't stop till the morning.

[Scruffy the Janitor]

How about drink when candidates don't seem to know what american country they are talking about.

I am looking at you Santorum.

[WarrenT]

Romneybot, Fleshsyscum, Capt. Discharge and the Golden Gnome battle it out in Florida to teh delight of a mostly lackwit audience

[Fist of Etiquette]

Hey, the Newt and Mitt Show. Awesome.

[Drax the Destroyer]

Eh, I've seen this episode before. It sucks. But at they end they start fucking. I repeat. It sucks.

[Jerry]

Puppy kills puppy trainer.

[Bomb Everyone]

Here's an idea to stop illegal immigration- get mehico to legalize drugs.

[0x90]

That was like watching Bizarro Tony argue with Bizarro Chad.

[Drax the Destroyer]

Americans can take those jobs when they start accepting $3 an hour for picking fruit.

[Bomb Everyone]

You can't get them to do it for $10/hour. Most Americans don't know what real work is.

[Drax the Destroyer]

Most Americans are going to get what they deserve. Good and proper. Their tears would taste sweet if I wasn't one of them.

[junior]

and thank God for that

[EDG reppin' LBC]

Rick Perry doesn't see his advertisements? Don't they have some affirmative disclaimer?

[Gannicus]

It doesn't seem like any of them will come out and say that we should make it easier to come here or let more people in.

[Newt's Jowls]

Newt trying to go back on that whole "language of the ghetto" thing. Surprised his answer isn't more like when he lashed out at Juan Williams/

[Bee Tagger]

20 minutes in and we're talking official languages of the country. These are the fun things debates can be about when the economy is rolling along and times are flush.

[Res Publica Americana]

Yes, because governments have the authority to mandate and declare official languages

Fuck you, Gangrene

[WarrenT]

Newt is the asswipe in high school who memroized Robert's Rules of Order just so h could fuck with people on the school council.

[Res Publica Americana]

Newt's also a dick when it comes to linguistics

[Bender B. Rodriguez]

Girls! Girls! You're BOTH indignant! Can we talk about the debt now?

[WarrenT]

How wide is that guy's shoulders?

[Gannicus]

IRRRRAAAAAAAAAANNNN!!!!

[A Serious Man]

It's time to play who can knock over the most left-wing Latin American governments (and Ron Paul sensibilities)!

[EDG reppin' LBC]

Ron Paul is there? Sweet.

[Bomb Everyone]

Who? Where?

[Fist of Etiquette]

It's pronounced koo-ba.

[WarrenT]

Wait, what does Paul know about the free-market?

[Bam!]

America & Cuba: Super Friends!

[EDG reppin' LBC]

"We slip up on our standards..." why does Ron Paul hate America?

[Bomb Everyone]

Santorum: Fire bomb Cuba!

[Mensan]

Frothy: "No. I'm not in favor of Freedom!"

[Newt's Jowls]

Paul wrong answer. GOP wants to hear "Foreigners? KILL! KILL! KILL!"

[Fist of Etiquette]

Santorum decided he can do better running against Obama than Paul.

[WarrenT]

No one wants to be behind Santorum.

[A Serious Man]

Our friends in Colombia? They don't just give us coffee, Rick.

[EDG reppin' LBC]

I stand up for Brazilian girls.

[Jerry]

If only Honduras had some contras.

[Bee Tagger]

Spanish speaking people... you hate it when white people adopt an accent on certain words, right? Can you please get this message out?

[Mensan]

What the hell is Frothy rambling about? He lost me about 30 seconds ago.

[Vivian]

CNN streaming will not come up. NO RICK ROLLS. Any other sites streaming? Pretty please with a moonbase on top to bomb? I mean, settle?

[Bam!]

There was one on justin.tv but it was very poor quality.

[Vivian]

Thanks, I tried to find it there but came up empty. Apparently I can't work it as well as I can work The Google.

[Bam!]

http://www.justin.tv/ftsmallwood should be the CNN stream.

[Vivian]

Thanks a bunch!

[Vivian]

Thanks a bunch!

[Vivian being called spam]

Thanks a bunch! Spam filter just ruined my handle, arg!

[CE]

I believe this is the link you're looking for (55 million viewers so far):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0

[Fist of Etiquette]

Did CNN just dramatically zoom in on Santorum during this impassioned whatever?

[Newt's Jowls]

Santorum "Let's spread some more democracy"

Yeah because that's been working out for us for the last 50 years.

[Res Publica Americana]

Is anybody else noticing that Santorum's sounding very desperate? I hope his dumb ass drops out

[ola]

Is santorum's spawn going to honduras to fight for the hondurans?

[shrike]

Obama sided with Chavez? Is there any lie too big for these nutcases?

[Mr. FIFY]

They ARE kinda buddy-buddy, shrike.

But then, *you* would be buddy-buddy with Chavez, too, given the chance.

[Scruffy the Janitor]

CNN: Quick Ron speaking truth ask another question.

[Newt's Jowls]

Paul is schooling Santorum. Time for Frothy to waffle.

[Mensan]

Paul's ear hair really stands out in HD.

[WarrenT]

You know Rick, with free-markets you might get Prada-ical Islam and they will deradicalize themselves as they get more prosperity.

[WarrenT]

Also, your mouth? Freaky.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Is the audience simply applauding snark?

[Newt's Jowls]

yes

[Bee Tagger]

Uh, duuuuuhhhhhhhh

[Drax the Destroyer]

Like I said. FUCK MOST OF THAT AUDIENCE.

[WarrenT]

Nooooo thanks.

[Drax the Destroyer]

Fuck in the cosmic divine justice sense, not the brazzers.com sense.

[Gannicus]

Jesus, Santorum is in fantasy land.

[Scruffy the Janitor]

We just want to tell them what to do, no one is talking about force. Scarface or Santorum?

[Mobster Captain Kirk]

Who's "interferin'"? We're takin' over.

[EDG reppin' LBC]

No force? How can we make the little brown bastards do what we tell them? Ron Paul is so out of touch.

[Bomb Everyone]

This debate is really bad so far. All the candidates seem really off.

[gaijin]

I'm tired of these debates I can only think the candidates must be tired too.

[Bee Tagger]

I agree, a lot of fumbling over words.

[Libertarian2]

Last debate before the big election. They're playing it safe like the superbowl teams of yore.....

[Gannicus]

I was really hoping Ron Paul would unleash an "end the drug war" rant.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Narco terrorists!

[Res Publica Americana]

To be fair, those animals deserve to burn at Satan's heels for all eternity, so that's a very apt term, but I agree that Paul should have slammed them with an anti-drug war rant.

[Fist of Etiquette]

All languages are languages of the ghetto?

[Mensan]

I thought Yiddish was the language of the ghetto.

[Bomb Everyone]

HA I'm liking Romney more and more every day.

[WarrenT]

He is a super-sexy stud man of manliness!

[Newt's Jowls]

Ooops gave Santorum and Paul a little more time. Let's go back to letting Romney and Gingrich bicker.

[Bee Tagger]

Crap. Romney had to bring newt in immediately, say goodbye to another 10 minutes.

[Newt's Jowls]

I got a horn for Mitt to "toot"

[Fist of Etiquette]

We need a catcher not a belly scratcher.

[Whahappan?]

We want a pitcher, not a belly scratcher.

[Whahappan?]

Shit, itcher!

[EDG reppin' LBC]

Rah Rah Ree, kick 'em in the knee!

Rah Rah Roh, kick 'em in the other knee!

[Res Publica Americana]

Gingrich looks like he needs to take a shit -- what a windbag

[EDG reppin' LBC]

A horn-tooter? Is that some secret gay code?

[Newt's Jowls]

horn-tooting is next to "bathroom stall toe tapping"

[yuck]

horn-tooting can lead to santorum

[shrike]

How would you faze the GSE's out, you dipshits.

Answer the fucking question.

[Newt's Jowls]

A question about Fannie and Freddie. Which of these guys have worked for Fannie and Freddie?

[Bomb Everyone]

Newt: "How many of you used entitlement money to buy houses you couldn't afford?"

[A Serious Man]

Newt: Florida is one of the states hardest hit by foreclosures, you're welcome.

[Res Publica Americana]

Lmao. +1.

[WarrenT]

Newt will make your financial problems go away! Also the last slice of pizza.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Newt is going full Democrat.

[Bee Tagger]

Gingrich: What a hypocrite Romney is, we both sold out our principles to Fannie and Freddie.

[WarrenT]

Newt is attacking capitalism?

[EDG reppin' LBC]

How low have we sunk when investing and making $$$ is a perjorative?

[Mensan]

If you own any mutual funds, you probably own all of that too.

[Mensan]

As mittens just said also.

[Jerry]

This doesn't make sense, why does Gingrich start about his Freddie Mac contract when not asked? He's trying to play the underdog card again.

[Bee Tagger]

3 minutes later, Wolf is going to ask Mitt whether or not Gingrich owns stock in Fannie/Freddie and he's going to say "i dont know, does he? lets ask him"

[WarrenT]

Romney scores HUGE!

[Gilligor]

Such a sweet, sweet look of guilt on ol toad boy's face

[A Serious Man]

Okay, both these guys are fricking pathetic. Hey CNN, you think maybe it's possible that they are both shifty fucks that made money off of the housing bubble Ron Paul predicted?

[Newt's Jowls]

+1

[Newt's Jowls]

I'm sorry but when you start talking about blind-trusts and shit, it sounds like evil rich guy stuff. calling Dr. Evil....

[EDG reppin' LBC]

"Newt made money, too!"

[Fist of Etiquette]

Mitt and Newt telling us how they're going to solve the nation's problems.

[Mitt Towelie]

You're a towel!

[WarrenT]

Giant elephants? Save us Newt!

[TomD]

I suspect tonight is the start of the end of Newt's surge.

[gaijin]

these guys are making obama's case for him...

[Bomb Everyone]

Poor Paul. Imagine warning against this years before the collapse, to dead ears, and now having to stand there listening to which candidate profited from it more.

[Res Publica Americana]

It's pretty amazing, literally, how clear and to-the-point Paul is compared to Froth, Gangrene, and Rombama. It's fucking sad that, although very possible, a Paul presidency is unlikely.

[Bee Tagger]

Newt is reeling when he resorts to elongated adverbs.

[Bam!]

Awww snap, Paul!

[Fist of Etiquette]

Unless they hired me not to break them up.

[Scruffy the Janitor]

Ron Paul smackaroo!!!

[Fist of Etiquette]

Boom, Ron Paul bringing the answers.

[Newt's Jowls]

Paul owning Wolf. and dropping knowledge on all in attendance.

[Mensan]

Why the hell should they return money? I have those mutual funds too. I'm sure as hell not returning any money!

[EDG reppin' LBC]

Did Ron Paul make money shorting Fannie/Freddie? He called it. He shoulda' at least made $$$.

[PantsFan]

You people who watch this are sadists.

[gaijin]

^^indeed...that's what my family says

[WarrenT]

Freaky mouth!

[WarrenT]

Well, that went in the wrong place.

[Fist of Etiquette]

You hosers up there in America's hat have skin in this game, too, you know.

[gaijin]

ron paul...getting back to the question...how fun is that?

[A Serious Man]

Ron Paul: who gives a shit about what these slimy fucks did? The fact that they could profit off a bubble in the first place is what bothers me.

[Newt's Jowls]

exactly.

[Res Publica Americana]

Huge props to Paul for that. Well done.

[TomD]

The fact that they could profit off a bubble in the first place is what bothers me.

If he could articulate it like that, he'd be in much better shape.

I wish we had a 60-year-old candidate Paul, that's all I'm saying.

[cynical]

He should regenerate after this campaign.

[WarrenT]

Paul schoolin' them again.

[Scruffy the Janitor]

Santorum: I totally did some shit too!!

[Mensan]

Paul: I done told you bitches about this ten years ago!

[EDG reppin' LBC]

No Santorum, liquidate. Don't reduce. Twit.

[cynical]

Let's not talk about liquidation and Santorum in the same sentence, please?

[Matt Fuerst]

I think Santorum was expecting an ovation there about 3 sentences in.... and it never happened.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Santorum riffing of Paul.

[WarrenT]

Horrible mental image, thanks.

[Fist of Etiquette]

That was supposed to be riffing off. Does that help? Maybe not.

[Drax the Destroyer]

Should I feel bad because part of me wants to see what a second Obama term would do to most of those pieces of shit in the audience? Should I feel bad that they deserve it? How many beers have I had?

[Bee Tagger]

What a disaster for Newt so far.

[Newt's Jowls]

Mitt Romney works hard? He doesn't have a "job" and makes 50k/hr off investments. Kiss my ass.

[A Serious Man]

Santorum is helping Paul by giving disjointed, clueless answers after Paul lays down the law.

[WarrenT]

He knows about money stuffs!

[Res Publica Americana]

Who gives a fuck about law and economics when I've got the MOTHER-FUCKING HAW-MUH-SEXUALS TO TALK ABOUT?

[gaijin]

santorum...trying to ride paul's coattails now...its all petty and personal politics unless its about teh gays.

[WarrenT]

Are there giant elephants in space?

[gaijin]

we must win the future... of elephants in space!

[Rick Santorum]

LEAVE NEWTIE ALONE!

[Jerry]

Yeah what was that all about, as if Newt somehow is morally equivalent to Mitt. No he's not Rick, he is a sleazebag.

[0x90]

Over/under on how many years ago Mittens first uttered the term "bubble" in an economics context.

[Gannicus]

3 months?

[EDG reppin' LBC]

I'm getting another bourbon. Anyone else need one?

[gaijin]

yes, please.

[Gilligor]

They were attacking mitt a little bit too much for Scrotum's liking, his face got all hot from fighting back the tears..

[WarrenT]

Salty ham tears?

[Newt's Jowls]

whatever the type. they were frothy

[Drax the Destroyer]

He'd like to slime his way into that VP slot. Wait...Santorum...slime...eww

[Res Publica Americana]

Wait, is it recess?

[Dan G]

Santorum: Let's focus on the imprtant issues like the GAYS!!!

[Rick Santorum]

Why do all these QUEERS keep sucking my cock? It's DISGUSTING!

[Father Tom]

And why won't these boys suck MY cock? It's the word of the lord!

[WarrenT]

Fuck, they came back.

[Res Publica Americana]

Transparency -- this ought to be good!

[gaijin]

Newt is with Him or him?

[Bee Tagger]

Wow, what a dick.

[Bee Tagger]

He brought the tax stuff up on a debate too.

[0x90]

So, what, a replay of the last segment, then?

[WarrenT]

Lets all agree to not talk about Newt's ethical lapses.

[Fist of Etiquette]

You don't come after Wolf like that.

[Newt's Jowls]

Paul is in the corner laughing his ass off at this bullshit. hahaha

[Newt's Jowls]

Paul is in the corner laughing his ass off at this bullshit. hahaha

[Bomb Everyone]

LOVE IT- Wolf showing John King how to not be a pussy.

[Drax the Destroyer]

Jesus CHRIST STOP TALKING ABOUT THEIR BULLSHIT TAXES. STOP WASTING OUR TIME YOU ASSHOLES.

[Res Publica Americana]

+100.

[Gilligor]

Paul just cheesin in the background while the little boys twist each other's nipples.

[Newt's Jowls]

Romney: "Say it to my face, Newt."

[Drax the Destroyer]

Oh crap...here comes the anti-media moment. Fuck.

[Drax the Destroyer]

Oh crap...here comes the anti-media moment. Fuck.

[A Serious Man]

Newt is imploding! That bloat is discomfort, not smugness.

[Mitt Romney]

Come at me, bro!

[EDG reppin' LBC]

Dirty capitalist pig... You'll never lead the GOP.

[WarrenT]

Mitt is rich? Did we know that?

[Bomb Everyone]

Thank you, Mitt, for using the word "risk." People forget about that in all this class warfare.

[gaijin]

^I wish more people remembered that

[Gannicus]

It fucking blows my mind what a piece of shit weasel Newt is. How is anyone supporting him?

[Bam!]

RomneyBot's programmers worked overtime last night.

[WarrenT]

I would vote for him if he came out and said that.

[pmp]

Mitt deals drugs. The profits get laundered in a Swiss Bank accounts.

[Bee Tagger]

MoveOn.org to the next subject.

[Fist of Etiquette]

GOLDEN RULE!

[American Churchianity]

Jesus has a pre-9/11 mindset.

Grow up, Jesus. Welcome to the real world.

[EDG reppin' LBC]

Newt gonna cry!

[Newt's Jowls]

It's only a personal attack and "factually wrong" when Newt or Mitt don't like what's being said.

[gaijin]

Newt wants a truce....hahahahaha

[Santino Corleone]

Can you believe this guy? He craps out and now he wants a meetin'!

[Matt Fuerst]

This is embarassing. Newt is acting less mature than the 5th grader I knew who smoked.

[Newt]

I'm rubber and you're glue...

[pmp]

Mitt: I give charity so my incredibly low tax rates aren't fair game.

[Bam!]

How about this: Instead of releasing their tax history, they release their spending history, and we have them go at each other over who will cut more spending.

[Bomb Everyone]

Newt: I'm going to build a moon base and ignore entitlements, and pay for it by cutting taxes.

FTW!

[A Serious Man]

Ron Paul is winning by virtue of not being involved in this shit.

[Bomb Everyone]

Who?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Oh, Newt. If only you weren't a bold-faced liar.

[EDG reppin' LBC]

"Shrink the government..." If only Newt really meant it.

[pmp]

Newt: Let's lower taxes without cutting spending!

[Ice Nine]

Mitt is winning the look-a-man-in-the-eye-when-you're-calling-him-out contest hands down. Gingrich isn't even competing in it. He's got that Krugman shifty-eyed thing going on and it does not play well.

[Newt's Jowls]

word

[WarrenT]

I'm Ricky Santorum and my mouth is super freak small!

[EDG reppin' LBC]

He had it surgically altered so it won't accept dick.

[Sharon Stone]

+100

[Jumbie]

No the surgery was so that EVERY dick he takes on is a big one.

You should see the job they did on tightening his butt hole.

[Fist of Etiquette]

And Reagan's corpse makes an appearance.

[Drax the Destroyer]

You can't shrink the government if you don't shrink the military you dumb fuck.

[Stormy Dragon]

"We need to have as much money funneling through the economy"

Isn't that pretty much a one sentence of summary of Keynesianism?

[EDG reppin' LBC]

Santorum invoked Reagan the Great. Solemn silence....

[Amerifuntimes]

Someone mentioned Reagan. Is the first time in the debate? That's 45 minutes in, maybe a record. It's usually like within the first answer.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Rick Santorum: I like taxes.

[Matt Fuerst]

"Mr. Santorum, what formula did you use to calculate the 28% rate?"
"Reagan-Pi"

[Newt's Jowls]

Newt will, however, look at Santorum. Me thinks that Newt is intimidated by Romney.

[WarrenT]

Paul refuses to wear Reagan's skin.

[Newt's Jowls]

That is strange, disgusting, and true all in one sentence.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Paul and his off handed remarks about the welfare/warfare state.

[pmp]

Actual CNN headline: "'Soccer mamis' could sway Florida"

[EDG reppin' LBC]

Yeah for Ron Paul!

[Res Publica Americana]

Oh, this OLDEST PRESIDENT EVER horseshit.

[A Serious Man]

Ron Paul giving us a lesson on rent-seeking vs honest free market trade.

[Fist of Etiquette]

"Congressman Paul, you're a physician... Does this mole look right to you?"

[Amerifuntimes]

Lulz

[WarrenT]

We should wack it.

[Amerifuntimes]

Paul is fucking sassy tonight.

[pmp]

Ron Paul says: Repeal 16th Amendment
American People: WTF is that?!?!?

[Amerifuntimes]

I know, he really needs to be specific.

[Bee Tagger]

Yeah, there was a distinct "uh... oh ok!" delay to that applause.

[Bomb Everyone]

LOVE IT

[WarrenT]

Paul will release his record! How many tracks on it?

[Newt's Jowls]

Medical records? How the fuck is that anyone's business? and Paul is still owning everyone's ass. and drops the age card. awesome

[PantsFan]

Is Ron Paul drunk or high or both?

[Bee Tagger]

Dumb question about the medical records but I don't care, someone actually acknowledged that he might win.

[CE]

Blitz for the win!

[EDG reppin' LBC]

Ron Paul. Humor. Maybe people will start to relate to him better.

[Bomb Everyone]

Hard to keep up, though, standing on a stage with those fools and dealing with our wonderful media. I'd say booze would be the best option.

[Gannicus]

Wow, humorous and personable Paul!

[Newt's Jowls]

Newt's medical records are not pretty. It includes every STD screening after each affair.

[WarrenT]

Wolf just wants to see them naked.

[A Serious Man]

Paul is on fire right now. He didn't get defensive about the age question and actually charmed Wolf with his response.

[pmp]

Ron Paul: I am a six-time sexathon winner.

[Stormy Dragon]

I'm still laughing at the idea of Gingrich on a bicycle.

[Bicycle Seat]

I'm not...

[Stormy Dragon]

Look one the bright side, you'll be so smothered you'll pass out before you know it.

[Jumbie]

You don't have to be on the bike when he rides it you know.

[Bicycle seat pole]

Wait, what now?

Oh Shiiiiiiiiitt.

[Amerifuntimes]

This is reminding me of Space Ghost. That show was amazing.

[EDG reppin' LBC]

Top. People. Romney sucks.

[WarrenT]

Newt Gingrich: Space Keynesiest!

[0x90]

Newt is already planning on 8 years?

[Stormy Dragon]

The Defense Network? Is that some new cable channel?

[Bee Tagger]

Hundreds of billions for a colony on the moon? Thomas Friedman will be in his bunk.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Lunar housing starts.

[gaijin]

zero interest rate financing...

[Kolohe]

http://www.lunarregistry.com/

[pmp]

Mitt Romney is centrally planning space.

[Kolohe]

Wow, the corporate sector and the defense establishment getting together. What a novel concept!

[EDG reppin' LBC]

Newt needs a "lift vehicle" for his moobs.

[Mensan]

I lol'd

[Res Publica Americana]

Roflmfao. +100.

[Amerifuntimes]

hahaha

[Res Publica Americana]

Did Gingrich just kiss Paul's ass?

[WarrenT]

I'd love to have all of you look at it.

Not the first time Newt has said that.

[Navin]

A special purpose? I have a special purpose!

[Bomb Everyone]

Newt, completely oblivious to the meteorological and aviation aspects of NASA.

[Drax the Destroyer]

FUCK NASA. You heard me. FUCK. THAT. SHIT.

[Bam!]

American's were already on the moon, moron.

[Truf]

Are you sure?

[Truf]

Are you sure?

[Bam!]

Yes. That Transformers movie told me so.

[Amerifuntimes]

"Leverage" "accelerating" "development" in "space".

[A Serious Man]

Cape Canaveral Space Port, you will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villiany (and government waste).

[Bee Tagger]

Let me guess, Newt thinks those prizes should come from the government. More of his daring public-private partnerships.

[Mensan]

No, the next frontier is deep ocean trenches.

[EDG reppin' LBC]

Actually, I agree. There's freaky Earth based stuff down there.

[pmp]

Gingrich is channeling his inner David Brin.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Has anyone at Reason used the alt-text "Love and Rockets" for pictures of Newt talking about Lunar honeymoons?

[Snowbee]

Hey Newt, we've, uh, beaten the Chinese to the moon already.

[WarrenT]

Spacefuck NASA

[GOB]

I call it...Fuck City!

[Newt's Jowls]

"An American on the moon before China"

Done.

You're welcome Newt "Historian" Gingrich

Signed
Apollo 11

[Mensan]

Space defense! We need to stop illegal (space) aliens form coming here and abusing our welfare programs.

[Drax the Destroyer]

It's kind of hard to "dream big dreams" if you can't keep your money Shitorum.

[Bender B. Rodriguez]

Ron needs to point out that when Lindbergh flew to Paris for a $25,000 prize, dollars were real money.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Rick Santorum: Suck it, NASA.

[Res Publica Americana]

I would have loved Paul to respond to the NASA question with a short, sweet "NASA has NO future."

[Bomb Everyone]

Who the hell is in Ron Paul's body tonight?

[Amerifuntimes]

SASSY PAUL STRIKES AGAIN

[pmp]

Santorum wants to save the moon for the Catholic Church.

[Kolohe]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Star_(short_story)

[Jerry]

Man, this debate is almost as bad as the Battlestar Gallactica discussions that appear around here.

[Fist of Etiquette]

That last season was terrible. And the finale? Frack that.

[A Serious Man]

I thought the mutiny plot redeemed Season 4 for me, but you're right about the finale.

[Fist of Etiquette]

The mutiny was a rare bright spot, but they were obviously making the godsdamn shit up as they went along.

[WarrenT]

Paul wasn't the first doctor in space?

[Newt's Jowls]

Paul is kicking ass when he gets these chances.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Sweet, Paul talking about the nonsense of government/private partnerships. (Those are no partnerships at all.)

[WarrenT]

Paul stumbled about the space question.

[A Serious Man]

Newt apparently doesn't know that The Moon is a Harsh Mistress.

[Bee Tagger]

Kennedy made his statement while cheating on his wife, too.

[Newt's Jowls]

Newt, you're no Jack Kennedy. (No matter how much philandering you do)

[WarrenT]

Newt wants to be the Space Dick-tator.

[Stormy Dragon]

Wait, so now it's Santorum's fault you said something stupid before thinking about it, Newt?

[Amerifuntimes]

Newt, you're so full of shit.

[Bam!]

There's nothing on the moon. Why go there?

[Fist of Etiquette]

ROMNEY LOVES FIRING PEOPLE.

[Bender B. Rodriguez]

Keep your rocket in your pocket Mr Spaceman.

[Ralph]

To the Moon, Titties!

[pmp]

I lol'd.

[WarrenT]

Newt thinks the moon is made of cheese.

[Bee Tagger]

Just as predicted, Newt read way too much into that South Carolina win.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Newt's head is going puffer fish again.

[EDG reppin' LBC]

Newt, private enterprise doesn't walk up and say, "We're gonna' do it". They just fucking do it. Unless you mean they have to come to DC and give tribute...

[gaijin]

That was actually a pretty good answer from Romney

[Newt Gingrich]

We are going to beat China to the moon. If they'll loan us the money to pay for it.

[Amerifuntimes]

ZING! God, those words coming out of Paul's mouth would make my year.

[TomD]

I'm not a Mitt Romney fan. But one thing I like about Romney: He listens and looks and regards Ron Paul with an air of respect while Paul talks. Contrast that with the bullshitty snickering crap of McCain and Giuliani back in '08.

[Bam!]

He's a robot, that's his default expression.

[TomD]

He may be.

But he's also savvy enough -- or has been advised with enough savvy -- to recognize that it's in his best interest not to alienate Paul's base, particularly the younger voters he's brought into the Republican fold.

[Gannicus]

Is Newt imploding during this debate or do I just despise him?

[Drax the Destroyer]

You despise him. These Floridians love contentious bloodthirsty spend-drunk assholes.

[pmp]

Mitt Romney: Newt Gingrich, you're fired!

[Res Publica Americana]

I guess that tax-cutting political fuck-that-shit-ist Kennedy would have loved you, eh, Newt?

[EDG reppin' LBC]

Newt: South American infrastructure projects are the key to kick-starting this economy.

[Bender B. Rodriguez]

And for his next trick, Mitt will talk about non-intervention while Ron Paul drinks a glass of water.

[Bee Tagger]

Finally!!! Thank you, Ron Paul. Finally someone brought up the Social Security issue of the 90s

[Stormy Dragon]

OMG, I just figured it out. Newt's whole purpose in this campaign is to make all of Obama's arguments, so badly, and being such a dick in doing so that Obama won't be able to attack Mitt in the general election without immediately reminding people of Newt.

[Newt's Jowls]

Paul calling bullshit on Newt balancing the budget. Someone called it. Finally!

[EDG reppin' LBC]

Love Dr. Paul.

[Kolohe]

Paul's donning the Southwest Airlines referee jacket and throwing the bullshit flag.

[Snowbee]

Alright, we're out of time, so go ahead and blah blah blah, Dr. Paul.

[WarrenT]

If only there were phrases like regulatory capture or crony capitalism to explain why government led space exploration is a bad idea.

[Gannicus]

And BOOM. Ron fucking Paul laying it out tonight.

[El Commentariosa]

SLATE is promoting Weigel's live blog.

[Jerry]

LOL, Gingrich agrees with Paul that he didn't balance the budget.

[Mensan]

Paul calls out Titties, and Titties, says, "yeah, he's right, and that's why I'm against anyone else doing what I did."

[Fist of Etiquette]

You supported doubling the NIH, but you don't see that it might have contributed to the trillion dollar debt today?

[WarrenT]

Explore my tiny mouth instead!

[Needle Dick]

It'll be a tight squeeze. But okay...

[EDG reppin' LBC]

Santorum: I spent us into bankruptcy, but now I'm sorry.

[Newt's Jowls]

Santorum getting a little flustered.

[El Commentariosa]

I hope that's fake fur

[Bee Tagger]

Jacksonville residence isn't an applause line?

[Bomb Everyone]

How about not buying that hideous wardrobe?!

[Fist of Etiquette]

Lynn thought she was going to get some applause heat off of that Jacksonville mention.

[WarrenT]

Who the fuck else would you be asking, lady?

[Mensan]

How the fuck do you expect them to promise you hope? The last guy promised hope. It didn't work out so well.

[Bender B. Rodriguez]

+1. Would read again.

[Newt's Jowls]

healthcare question, this will shit on Paul's momentum so let's give it to him first.

[EDG reppin' LBC]

Austrian economics from Paul. Refreshing.

[WarrenT]

free-market stuff is hard to explain in just a few moments.

[Drax the Destroyer]

Ok Mitt, I'll give you props for copying Ron.

[WarrenT]

Hey lady, wanna get your freak on?

[EDG reppin' LBC]

Newt's rebuttal: It's not governments fault. It's because they aren't doing what I want gov't to do.

[Mensan]

Titties is saying that RP is right a lot lately. Anyone else get the feeling a not-Romney VP deal might be going on here?

[Bee Tagger]

Santorum is the only holdout on the new "treat Ron Paul with respect" marching orders.

[Bender B. Rodriguez]

He can afford to be an ass to Paul, since alienating Paul supporters can't hurt him later on, IYKWIMAITYD.

[Amerifuntimes]

Dude he totally just called he a young woman. Cue old world flattery

[WarrenT]

We should attach car and home insurance to our employment! Because that makes as much sense as how we do do health insurance.

[gaijin]

cars and homes are priveleges of the elite...health is an obligation in the USSA

[Newt's Jowls]

Mitt just stole Paul's line about giving deductions for health insurance.... but he referenced Groundhog Day.....not sure whether to hate or giggle

[A Serious Man]

I wish it were easier to explain the Austrian perspective on healthcare. But it doesn't detract from Paul's terrific performance so far.

[EDG reppin' LBC]

Baby steps. We need to hold their hands and guide them.

[Bee Tagger]

Agreed, this is just the Republican primary and they won't care about his answer all that much. Should the impossible happen, he definitely needs a better answer prepared for a debate against Obama.

[Drax the Destroyer]

It's not because it requires thinking, something the government supplied education system has failed to impart on the populace. The bullshit feeds itself. It's like a circular human centipede.

[EDG reppin' LBC]

Groundhog Day all over again. Redundant?

[Yogi Berra]

Brought to you by the Department of Redundancy Department.

[Newt's Jowls]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ydpSVvXE9k&ob=av2e

[EDG reppin' LBC]

Nice.

[Amerifuntimes]

Go Santorum attack dog, GO

[Bee Tagger]

Santorum refuses to even consider Paul a fellow candidate for President.

[Drax the Destroyer]

You Know What? Let her rot in the street.

[WarrenT]

Rick reads! Does his his tiny,freaky mouth move while he reads?

[A Serious Man]

Why is Santorum even here? He's taken up the mantle of Perry at these debates.

[Bam!]

He won Iowa, right? Has a couple delegates? I don't really pay attention this stuff, so I don't really know.

[WarrenT]

Newt is against whatever he was for.

[EDG reppin' LBC]

Romney is against whatever he was for. Or invented.

[EDG reppin' LBC]

Newt believes in relationships. Open relationships, too.

[Gilligor]

Tits McFarlane has dainty little hands.

[pmp]

Wow, Romney just explicitly endorsed corporatism. "Business-community, labor-community, etc."

[Drax the Destroyer]

3:1 Mitt. $10 bucks that 1 is paying for free healthcare for the 3.

[gaijin]

fundamental freedom, rick...to be gay?

[WarrenT]

NO!

[Fist of Etiquette]

Rick Santorum playing Obama's advocate tonight.

[WarrenT]

Yet Rick does not support the freedom of the fundament!

[Newt's Jowls]

So is Romney. Great front-runners, huh?

[Gannicus]

And we hit the one time each debate where I completely agree with Santorum about something and feel dirty because of it.

[A Serious Man]

Why is Rick raising his voice? He looks weird trying to rabble-rouse.

[Fist of Etiquette]

zzzzzZZZZZZzzzzzZZZZZZzzzzz... huh what?

[pmp]

Gov. Mitt wears a shit-eatin' grin super-duper handsomely...

[WarrenT]

You must pay for your free care!

[Bee Tagger]

Ha, let's see if Romney gets it this time now that Santorum has used the word "mandated" and even emphasized it.

[EDG reppin' LBC]

Man-date: Something Santorum knows "a little" about. ;P

[Newt's Jowls]

"paying a fine to breathe" Santorum is making sense.... I feel uncomfortable.

[gaijin]

this part almost sounds like a real debate about an issue...kind of.

[Bam!]

RomneyBot can recognize emotions. Who knew?

[Bender B. Rodriguez]

Shouldn't Rick Santorum be in some small town stopping Kevin Bacon from encouraging kids to dance right now?

[A Serious Man]

Romney to Santorum: dude, calm the fuck down.

[Bomb Everyone]

That was a pretty good burn.

[WarrenT]

Rick does not like Massholes or what cums out of them.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Romney: Don't get hysterical, Rick.

[Hip Mitt Romney]

U mad, dude? O yeah, u mad.

[pmp]

It's not worth getting angry about?!?

[Bee Tagger]

Don't hate me... but would Santorum make a good vice president? It's a gamble that the President doesn't die, of course. But he's not making any decisions. And you can use his excellent attack dog efforts.

[Fist of Etiquette]

I hate you.

[Drax the Destroyer]

If Paul got elected, I'd ignore him taking out Santorum with a Obama-Brand-drone and then immediately relinquishing those powers.

[RyanXXX]

I hate you

[WarrenT]

What does Mitt say to his wife when he wants a little some-some?

[Newt's Jowls]

Just the 8%, baby.

[Drax the Destroyer]

Mitt: Baby, I going to fill you to the brim with Santorum.

Mitt's Wife: You clean up the mess this time.

[Newt's Jowls]

Paul "They're all wrong" #winning

[Newt's Jowls]

Paul: Power to the people

[WarrenT]

The people? Those idiots?

[A Serious Man]

Paul: a statist is a statist, no matter what party.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Back in my day the people didn't have Medicare to pay for their leeches.

[WarrenT]

1 gazzillion dollars!

[EDG reppin' LBC]

Silly Doc Paul. He's a MD. What the hell could he possibly know about health care? Besides, Newt wrote a book. So...

[Res Publica Americana]

Newt complimented Paul AGAIN. Shit, dude, what's going on?

[Newt's Jowls]

Gingrich: I agree with Dr. Paul...again

[Adm Ackbar]

IT'S A TRAP!

[WarrenT]

Giant Shoulders Man is back!

[Bam!]

Hispanic leaders? Why should cabinet members be chosen on ethnicity?

[ryan]

That wasn't the question. The question was: How are you going to pander to Hispanics?

[Drax the Destroyer]

It's the only way to prove they are less racist than Jefferson Davis.

[Gannicus]

Ron Paul!!! Again he hits it out of the park.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Getting some of that Rubio heat.

[Bomb Everyone]

They're all breaking the law right now.

[Newt's Jowls]

A question about the future: "Where's my flux capacitor?"

[0x90]

The three stooges had better stop agreeing with Paul.

[WarrenT]

Newt is always just one moment away from mumbling incoherently.

[TomD]

What a bizarre set of dynamics that seems to have emerged in this race.

Gingrich and Romney keep applauding and backing up Paul.

Santorum attacks Paul.

Santorum attacks Romney; appears to have Newt's back.

Paul unapologetically attacks the rest of them.

[0x90]

I think some people are beginning to realize that they will lose this election if they ignore him out of the party.

[Gilligor]

And now ladies an gentlemen, onto the who-knows-more-mexicans contest

[EDG reppin' LBC]

Ricky Rubio? That kid can ball!

[El Commentariosa]

I bet they also have hispanic friends.

[Newt's Jowls]

This is like asking "Prove you're not racist by listing how many hispanic friends you have."

[Gannicus]

Yeah, I hate race baiting questions like this. Time to look past people's races or ethnicities.

[WarrenT]

Great so Mexicans are going to take our political jobs too?

[EDG reppin' LBC]

More bourbon. Who's up?

[Bingo]

Me, make it a triple.

[EDG reppin' LBC]

Drink it up. 🙂

[Matt Fuerst]

First lady questions. Prepare to drown ye sorrows.

[Bam!]

The best first lady is the next question? WTF? That's a Miss America question.

[Bomb Everyone]

Answer should be: one who spends the least money, and cooks dinner for me.

[Bender B. Rodriguez]

Carol Paul has a great cookbook, and she was never the *ahem* Other Woman.

[Paul]

Are people from Austria hispanic?

[Kolohe]

There are Hispanics that have had a little Austrian in them, if that's what you mean.

[EDG reppin' LBC]

Example: Salma Hayek

[0x90]

"There are Hispanics that have had a little Austrian in them..."

Mildred Patricia Baena, for instance.

[Stormy Dragon]

If Newt is elected, will his wife be called The Third Lady?

[El Commentariosa]

the third and fourth titties

[Newt's Jowls]

Newt: "My wife is the best choice as a first lady because she's cool with open relationships with other world leaders. And if she gets sick or isn't down with the whole open relationship thing, I'll just replace her."

[WarrenT]

"Which wife exactly. The one I'm married to now or the one I'll be married to Next February?"

[pmp]

Why would your wife make the best First Lady?

We really need to bring in the death penalty for stupid.

[TomD]

Dream response: "The media's insistence on turning politics into a soap opera is one of the biggest problems facing this country."

[Res Publica Americana]

"Because, you know, qualifying for the position for proper and frugal governance of the wealthiest and most powerful nation in the history of the world hinges on whether or not your wife dresses nice. Seriously, Wolf? Seriously, CNN?"

[Res Publica Americana]

Paul should have said, "There's no way in Hell any of my appointments, anywhere, would be based on ethnicity. Ever. Principle and record matter, individuals must be judged only as such, and grouping people like this is exactly what we SHOULDN'T be doing."

[A Serious Man]

I hear Carol Paul is an excellent cook.

[WarrenT]

She knows how to smoke a sausage!

[Rick Santorum]

My little mouth prevents me...

[WarrenT]

Pula: "cause she can shank a bitch!"

[WarrenT]

Who the fuck is Pula?

[Res Publica Americana]

Paul's evil mutant sibling.

[Drax the Destroyer]

Wait.....is that Newt's secret name? Oh shit! It all makes sense now.

[Drax the Destroyer]

Pula? Puta? Paula? Poundstone?

[Newt's Jowls]

"Because she's married to Ron-fuckin'-Paul, the best presdential candidate you got."

[Newt's Jowls]

Paul: "I've been married for 54 years, not 54 times, Newt."

[Fist of Etiquette]

ZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

[El Commentariosa]

TOP ISSUES

[Bomb Everyone]

Ron Paul Cookbook?! Has it been checked for racist recipes?

[Whahappan?]

It's a cookbook!

[0x90]

CNN Question:

"Will you promise to end the polarization that has crippled Washington and commit to compromise so we can move the nation forward?"

Sure, though in fairness I should point out that you didn't really specify what "end the polarization" means.

[WarrenT]

Shes the mother of five of our children

Weird phrasing

[Gannicus]

Mitt:"She breeds Mormons like a champ."

[Rubicon]

I could imagine Phil Hartman a killer Romney impersonation if he were still around.

[Newt's Jowls]

Romney: "My wife was diagnosed with MS, and I didn't have an affair and leaver her for a mistress, Newt."

[Bam!]

Newt's hitting on the other candidates wives.

[Bee Tagger]

Let's just say Newt is open to swinging with the other candidates.

[pmp]

With MS and breast cancer...and yet I still don't support medical marijuana!

[Kolohe]

And if there's anyone who knows something about three wives, it's Newt!

[Fist of Etiquette]

Newt: Calista and eventually my mistress will make a great first ladies.

[Drax the Destroyer]

Mitt. What we want to know is how many dicks your wife can take in the ass.

Newt...don't answer that.

Santorum. Go kill youself Seppuku-style in front of your children.

[WarrenT]

She's a penisist?

[Newt's Jowls]

Newt: "Open-relationships, she's a pianist, huh-huh, and plays the french horn, huh-huh."

[Drax the Destroyer]

She's a rusty trombonist.

[Stormy Dragon]

Uh oh, better start packing Callista. Sounds like Newtie's looking for another upgrade.

[0x90]

"I think ALL THREE of my wives would make wonderful first ladies."

[Res Publica Americana]

HOLY FUCKING SHIT, GUYS. COMPASSIONATE HOUSEWIVES. STOP THE FUCKING PRESSES AND GET THE WORLD PRESS ON THE WIRE, WE GOT OURSELVES A REVELATION! THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING!

[Drax the Destroyer]

+400*pi

Back at you Res.

[ryan]

BARF

[EDG reppin' LBC]

Newt's current wife wrote a book, too? Great, two experts.

[Gannicus]

There is no God in a world where that woman is married to and sleeps with a slug like Newt Gingrich.

[Bender B. Rodriguez]

Not necessarily in that order.

[Newt's Jowls]

Santorum: "ramble, ramble, ramble"

[El Commentariosa]

But will they tell Americans what to eat?
Oh wait one has a cookbook.

[A Serious Man]

God Rick, shut up. Keep it simple.

[Scruffy the Janitor]

This was one shitty ass debate.

Fuck questions from fucktard himself.

[WarrenT]

On the plus Gabe didn't grow up to be gay.

[Gannicus]

I'm LOLing.

[Bam!]

It's a question, Santorum, not your biography ghostwriter. Make it short.

[Stormy Dragon]

Bella? Santorum named his daughter after the character in the Twilight Novels?

[Drax the Destroyer]

He's got to rape one of his children, and you know Ricky is on the team Edward boat. Makes sense.

[Res Publica Americana]

Fuck you, you just ruined that name for me forever.

[EDG reppin' LBC]

Manners and dead babies. Sounds like you picked a winner Rick!

[0x90]

Come on Rick, it's all right to shed a tear. A salty ham tear.

[Fist of Etiquette]

She's also written a book on lethal combat tactics, so admittedly that might cancel the other book.

[Newt's Jowls]

oh geez, a book on manners *burp* *fart* *ass-scratch* who needs that shit?

[Newt's Jowls]

Aaaaaaand we're back to Reagan. fuuuuu.....

[*]

LONGEST, IRRELEVENTEST ANSWER EVAR: SANTORUM'S WIFE

[Drax the Destroyer]

She'll give up her aged whored-out ass tonight.

[Fist of Etiquette]

WHILE NEWT WAS SUCKING AT THE WASHINGTON TIT I WAS WORKING.

[WarrenT]

I have no idea what Mitt is going on about.

[Bam!]

I've forgotten what question was asked of RomneyBot. Mission accomplished.

[EDG reppin' LBC]

Romney: "Worked my way up..." for threee years. Then Daddy got me a job at his firm.

[Bee Tagger]

Mitt's autobiography was longer than Rick's biography about his wife.

[WarrenT]

Reagan's corpse stalks the stage.

[Newt]

I propose that we hold the Olympics on the Moon, IN THIS DECADE.

[Bomb Everyone]

Newt has no right to even speak Goldwater's name.

[pmp]

Why do you not put your dick in the Reagan corpse?1?!?

[Fist of Etiquette]

They didn't randomly show up, Newt. You were getting heat off of South Carolina morons and people who knew you were starting to piss themselves at the thought of you as president.

[A Serious Man]

Saying he doesn't want to go back to the Reagan-Bush era makes me like Romney more.

[WarrenT]

Reagan! Reagan! Reagan! Keep chanting his najme and maybe he will appear out of the mists.

[EDG reppin' LBC]

I gotta start making dinner. Thanks to the H&R commentors for a hilarious evening. Give 'em hell!

[Cao ni ma]

GOP debates have to have a little cult of personality built around Ronnie Reagan.

[ryan]

deport that man!

[WarrenT]

Now I have grey hair! Fuck Obama!

[Bomb Everyone]

Santorum: I support Cubans by starving them to death under a dictator.

[Res Publica Americana]

Did anybody else see the way Gingrich almost felt bad about attacking Romney when Romney went Mr Honest about Reagan?

[Cao ni ma]

Santorum - I support the Cuban people, except when I fuck with their ability to trade and earn a living.

[Fist of Etiquette]

No rewarding cancer!

[Scruffy the Janitor]

Santorum: I am going to say some random crap in a desperate attempt to make me seem relevant.

[A Serious Man]

No Rick, imposing crippling sanctions on the Cuban economy is NOT helping the Cuban people or weakeening the Cuban regime.

[WarrenT]

Then just say you will invade them, Rick.

[Gannicus]

The embargo is working, just a few more years guys.

[pmp]

In support of the Cuban People, I'd starve the fuck out of them...

[Bam!]

Santorum is dumb. Flat out.

[Cao ni ma]

Santorum needs to be reminded that "our region" is limited to our fucking borders.

[Fist of Etiquette]

WHEN I WAS IN THE MILITARY...

[TomD]

Wolf threw Paul off by reframing the Cuba question as he threw it to him.

[Newt's Jowls]

Paul: "The Cold War is over" in case you missed the memo guys.

[Bender B. Rodriguez]

Santorum: Tonight we're gonna party like it's NINE! TEEN! SIX! TY! FIVE!

[Fist of Etiquette]

They see Rick Santorum under the bed watching for penises going too close to anuses.

[A Serious Man]

Romney: I don't want to acknowledge that Paul is correct, I want to knock down an Obama strawman.

[Newt's Jowls]

"A jihadist under the bed"

well played, Paul, well played

[Amerifuntimes]

He's at his best when he makes the other candidates look small, jingoistic and hysterical.

[*]

"I'd ask him why he called"

+100

[WarrenT]

Worst actors? Stop bringing Reagan into this!

[Newt's Jowls]

Romney is going to steal just enough of Paul's answer to remain populist.

[Gannicus]

The American people don't see a jihadist under their bed! What a line.

[Kolohe]

Wait, Fidel's starting a Moon Base, too?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Not freedom of trade, though.

[WarrenT]

Wait, now we're sending Fidel Castro into space?

[Newt]

The problem is that it takes a certain strain of subversive thinking to see how an embargo accomplishes the opposite of its objective. And the three stooges have never had a subversive thought in their whole lives.

[0x90]

*damn joke handle*

[Rubicon]

Can i get a 10 second synopsis for those of us without the"blessing"of TV.

[*]

Paul: talk to Cuba. No Soviet nukes. Trade. Talk to them.

Others: nuh-uh

[A Serious Man]

It's obvious that Romney and Gingrich can't refute any of Paul's logic, so instead they're just circumventing the question and attacking Obama.

[WarrenT]

Newt: It's going to be a whole Cubasket of options!

[Drax the Destroyer]

The Castro-ite government will fold like a deck of cards when the Cubans can get access to New Belgium beer and kink.com porn. Fuck Romney, Fuck the Grinch, and Fuck Ass Juice (....or not...).

[WarrenT]

Jews!

[Newt's Jowls]

Palestinian-American-Republican.

mind. blown.

[TomD]

You know the CNN screener/intern was creaming his/her pants when they encountered this person headed into the debate hall.

[TomD]

(Hopefully a "her"; far sexier.)

[Drax the Destroyer]

Technically, the Destroyer qualifies.

[pmp]

Oooh, Ron Paul gets a chance to shine on Israel-Palestine.

[Fist of Etiquette]

No touching!

[Bam!]

What does a Jewish state have to do with America? It's irrelevant to our success.

[WarrenT]

What they need is a Gaza Strip Mall.

[Newt's Jowls]

Is Romney shitting on the guy that asked the question?

[Snowbee]

Romney: "The reason there is no peace between Israel and the Palestinians is because the Palestinians are the bad guys. Don't you watch movies?"

[WarrenT]

I thought the NAZIs were the bad guys.

[Snowbee]

Islamo-fascism is the new, er, fascism.

[Cao ni ma]

"This president" sounds dehumanizing. How about President fucking Obama?

[Cao ni ma]

"This president" sounds dehumanizing. How about President fucking Obama?

[WarrenT]

Call me Israel.

[Bee Tagger]

"invented people"

More proof for Fist's theory that Gingrich has said every word in every combination out loud at some point.

[Bomb Everyone]

Newt: Palestinians are an invented people, but Israelis aren't.

[Drax the Destroyer]

Oh...shit....Israel bullshit. FUCK.

[Newt's Jowls]

Now Gingrich is shitting on him. Lesson Learned: Newt and Mitt will pander to anyone, unless they're Palestinian and remind us of terrorists.

[Bender B. Rodriguez]

That guy may need an escort out to the parking lot later.

[Newt's Jowls]

no kidding. geez

[Fist of Etiquette]

Palestinian-American Republicans may exist, but the candidates care not for those votes.

[Newt's Jowls]

Newt and Mitt made that real damn clear.

[Wolf]

"Which of you is uncircumcised?"

[WarrenT]

Giant Shoulders Man!

[pmp]

Mitt and Newt are fighting for my elderly parents' votes.

[It's the Old-Jews-Who-Are-Afraid-of-Everything vote.]

[Cao ni ma]

Gingrich: I support Israel because I get money from the likes of Sheldon Adelson. Palestinians ain't got no money or pull. So fuck them.

[WarrenT]

Shut up, second-class bitch.

[Bee Tagger]

Oh look, they're playing scenes from when Salma Hayek was on 30 rock. It's as funny as I remember it.

[Fist of Etiquette]

PANDER TO PUERTO RICO. GO!

[Scruffy the Janitor]

Is it me or is the questioner trying to sound ethnic?

[Res Publica Americana]

She's being an asshole.

[pmp]

She's not that bilingual.

[Mensan]

this. I speak spanish better than she speaks english, and my spanish is terrible.

[Scruffy the Janitor]

Watch me roll my "r's" while I speak a sentence fluently in English.

[Bam!]

America has a 51st state: Israel. Weren't you paying attention?

[*]

Don't forget the Iraq!

[Drax the Destroyer]

Sooooo.....they didn't throw Paul under the bus with the bullshit Israel circumcised dick-sucking fest? What the fuck is going on?

[Cao ni ma]

Time to kiss Jewish ass!

[WarrenT]

Rick might answer the question. Or not.

[Mensan]

You are second class citizens. If Puerto Rico becomes a state, then you'll count.

[Bomb Everyone]

Shit can Santorum ramble.

[Drax the Destroyer]

He's been trained by the best. Union Leaders.

[WarrenT]

Santorum runs at the mouth.

[Jumbie]

Don't. Do. That.

[Newt's Jowls]

Newt's gonna say he doesn't understand that "language of the ghetto"

[Jose Kanusea]

+51

[Newt]

No!! The Moon is the 51st State!

[Gannicus]

Puerto Rico should be seen and not heard.

[Newt's Jowls]

Early Cuyler: "No habla jibber jabber"

[Bender B. Rodriguez]

http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/35qhl8/

[WarrenT]

I don't want to change the flag.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Rick Santorum doesn't want to have to buy new flags.

[ryan]

hahaha pause for applause fail

[Bomb Everyone]

SHIT question

[Bee Tagger]

Why is CNN silencing the Jacksonville applause lines?

[Amerifuntimes]

OMG PAUL I LOVE YOU

[Drax the Destroyer]

Simple. Constitutional. Practical. Americans want none of this.

[Newt's Jowls]

Paul owns, after being skipped over on 2 questions.

[Gannicus]

He's been amazing tonight.

[TomD]

Yeah, good debate performance tonight for Paul.

[Tom Walls]

I like Ron Paul's eyebrows much better than hers.

[pmp]

ooooh....Mormon-baiting.

[Bomb Everyone]

My god, somebody needs to keep a tally of Paul compliments.

[Fist of Etiquette]

They see him as harmless in their march for the nomination.

[Gannicus]

Yeah, what's going on with that?

[Newt's Jowls]

I had the same thought. How is the guy that finished 4th in SC getting all of these kudos?

[Drax the Destroyer]

They know that can't win if they ostracize his voters. What they don't know is that his voters physically are incapable of voting for them.

[0x90]

Which means that there is only one option, if they intend to win.

[Bam!]

This could be why he's in fourth -- They stole all his supporters.

[Drax the Destroyer]

If 4th equates to 5% in the general they need him, you fuckstick. He's also in fourth because Americans are dumb fucking shits.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Providence, Rhode Island?

[pmp]

Ron Paul knocks it out of the park!

[Newt's Jowls]

Mitt: I'll run all matters of Nat'l Security by my special underpants.

[Amerifuntimes]

hahaha

[EDG reppin' LBC]

Good answer, Dr. Paul!

[*]

Mitt: "I agree with the opposite of what Paul just said"

[Bee Tagger]

There is almost outright courting of Paul and his supporters.

[WarrenT]

What would Jesus do for a Klondike Bar.

[Bam!]

RomneyBot's creator gave him sophisticated A.I. and a wireless Internet link.

[Scruffy the Janitor]

Mitt: I'm trying to speak in a soft voice even though I want to strangle a puppy or at the very least tie him to the roof of my car.

[Bomb Everyone]

I'm glad to see Romney is obviously working very hard to not marginalize Paul supporters. Even if it's just a tactical move on his part, still nice to see.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Newt's hoping God won't watch what happens on the moon.

[Gilligor]

Mere mortals can not govern our country. We must summon Gandalf. And Reagan.

[WarrenT]

Newt: I like strange pussy, God what do I do?

[*]

Newt: Three ways my three religions would affect my decisions.

[Drax the Destroyer]

OOOOOOOooooook.....Is Shit Romney trying to take(weakly) Paul's anti-war vote? What. The. Fuck?

[EDG reppin' LBC]

Suffuse... Newt sounds like an atheist.

[Mensan]

Oh here comes the war on christianity bullshit again.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Opening the door on Gingrich's War on Christianity.

[Gannicus]

My new grand theory is that Mitt knows it will be him and Ron at the end, and he knows its going to be tough to get that support. So he's trying now. I think his hope is that a respectful Mitt throughout the campaign plus a grand bargain with Paul can net him the supporters.

[R P Supporter]

Gonna legalize it, I suppose?

[ola]

don't forget mitt, the mullahs in tehran also seek providence in their decision making.

[Bomb Everyone]

Santorum: THEOCRACY!

[pmp]

War on Religion? What? Where do I sign up?

[Fist of Etiquette]

Romney just taked about the Declaration like thirty seconds ago.

[Judas K. Foxglove]

War against Christianity here in the USA?

[Cao ni ma]

Gingrich: I believe in religion and God except when I fucking my mistresses behind my wife's fucking ass.

[Res Publica Americana]

Santorum fucks up on Declaration of Independence history, context, and drafting. HAHAAHAHHAA.

[Bomb Everyone]

He keeps using the word "rights", but I don't think he knows what that means.

[Newt's Jowls]

Jesus Built My Hotrod http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lspjLG9nHXk

[Fist of Etiquette]

And as Americans we are not gay.

[Mensan]

No other country has god given rights? So Frothy's god only loves America?

[RyanXXX]

Well, obviously God gives us rights. But part of the bargain is that WE must give them to other countries through force and terror

[RyanXXX]

Are Mitt and Ron gonna make out after this is done or what? The love seems deep

[*]

Yes, and they're going to shit out the most compromised, impotent libertarian politician ever conceived: Vice President Rand Paul.

[TomD]

most compromised, impotent libertarian politician ever

Elaborate, sil vous plait.

[*]

Not Rand, per se, but the position: an arranged marriage to Mitt fucking Romney, for the useless position of VP. After which, 4 or 8 years later, Rand eats the turd sandwich Romney cooks up for him in his term.

[RyanXXX]

Rand never CLAIMED to be a libertarian is the thing. If you move the goalposts and look at him as a conservative, he seems pretty damn good. Especially compared to the rest of the shitstains

Comparing him to his dad or Murray Rothbard will leave you disappointed

[*]

In fact.

[Gilligor]

Scrotum had to hurry off stage, I think somebody has to take a little poo-poo

[TomD]

Wait -- who was that exiting the stage there? (Sorry, don't know which one is "Scrotum"!) I caught it out of the corner of my eye on the web feed here.

[Res Publica Americana]

Rick Santorum. He kind of ran away.

[capitol h]

Man, it's like you never leave!

[Drax the Destroyer]

Shitorum.....Faith and reason rarely meet you fucking piece of child-raping shit.

[Cao ni ma]

Santorum: "protect rights which cannot be taken away..." like when I shove God down every atheist's throat.

[Res Publica Americana]

Newt probably passed gas, and Santorum was running for dear life.

[Last Question]

"Would you consider Oprah Winfrey as your Vice President?"

[Fist of Etiquette]

Ron Paul, alternately the best or worst of both worlds.

[Newt's Jowls]

Nice answer, Paul.

[EDG reppin' LBC]

...and undermines the GOP.

[Bam!]

RomneyBot is reading from his prepared file.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Fuck you, Europe. You suck.

[A Serious Man]

Freedom appeals to everyone on the political spectrum, except Democrats and Republicans.

[Newt's Jowls]

+1

[Cy Nickelfuque]

Well said.

[Mensan]

Romney: "We need dramatic change in Washington."

I think he just endorsed Paul.

[Bam!]

RomneyBot: I'm an outsider. I've spent the last 20 years trying to become an insider.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Also, I am very generically handsome.

[Mensan]

Titties: "I can beat Obama because I've been elected before."

[Cao ni ma]

Changing chairs? Romney asshole. You are just another chair changer. Fuck you.

[gaijin]

Gingirth will win because...he was round in teh 80's?

[Res Publica Americana]

ROUND in the '80s. Rofl. Nice.

[Kolohe]

And even rounder now!

[Bee Tagger]

Nothing says "I love you, grandchildren" like ensuring all of your despicable dirty laundry is aired in public.

[Res Publica Americana]

"I believe that what we need this fall is a new Harry Potter movie, which isn't coming, because JK fucking Rowling stopped fucking writing them. Bitch."

[Fist of Etiquette]

Newt: I will do things so big that PPACA will look like a Post Office naming.

[Drax the Destroyer]

Newt...your fucking grandchildren better be paying for my social security and killing those evil muslims for me.

[Cao ni ma]

Gingrich: What we need this fall is one gaping asshole. And I am that gaping asshole you should vote for... NOT.

[gaijin]

Santorum...there are only two other guys on the stage?

[Bomb Everyone]

Only two who supported the bailout.

[0x90]

He's the only one of those three who can afford to think that way. He can afford to do that, because he's a non-factor.

[Bee Tagger]

Nice, Santorum using his limited time to explain why everyone else can't beat Obama.

[Mensan]

Frothy Assjuice: "I'm better because I'm not for being gay."

[Bam!]

Santorum can't focus.

[Bomb Everyone]

God- keep Santorum on a leather leash with a muzzle, and use him as an attack dog, and he's pretty freaking awesome.

[Dan G]

Santorum knows he can't compete against Paul so he pretends he doesn't exist.

[ryan]

More accurately it's because he can't get Paul's voters.

[Cao ni ma]

Shitorum. not the previous 3rd speaker asshole?

[A Serious Man]

Ron Paul's best performance so far, I think.

[Res Publica Americana]

Paul did very well. I'm happy.

[EDG reppin' LBC]

Who won?

[Bam!]

I don't know who won, but I know who lost: America.

[Res Publica Americana]

Paul, by a landslide, with a few good strikes by Romney, good generic ranting by Santorum at Obama and his posse, and Gingrich being a colossal douchecunt.

[Drax the Destroyer]

Douchecunt. Hmmmm... I think I'll use that at work tomorrow.

[Killersontherun]

If you get fired, Drax, RPA owes you a job for putting that tempting word choice out there. I forget what they call it in law, like not putting a fence around swimming pool and a neighbor kid drowns and your libel even though the kid earned a Darwin there. Shit, it's gonna bug me. anyway, it was equivalent to that.

Soon as hit submit, I'm gonna recall it, just know it.

[Rubicon]

"attractive nuisance"?

[Killersontherun]

It's a single word. It actually came up in a dirt law case I was involved in once.

[Rubicon]

We had a badass rope swing in my grandpa's backyard in Boise when i was a kid-that was the term the city lawyers gave it- so down it came

[Killersontherun]

My grammar is even crappier than usual tonight. Kid is over his maw maws, wife is out with her lady friends, and I'm here downing a case.

[Killersontherun]

That is actually the legal frame work, but their is also a silver dollar word for it. Damn. Damn. Damn.

[Killersontherun]

Nope, best I could come up with is 'abatement' but that is not it.

[Res Publica Americana]

Enticement?

[Killersontherun]

That's it!!!! Thanks!

[EDG reppin' LBC]

Jeez Killa. I want some of what you're drinking.

[Jumbie]

Usage: "These debates are an enticement to mass murder."

[Drax the Destroyer]

Sounds good Killas. Hey, RPA, what kind of work do you need me to do? I can program some MATLAB and visual basic. Outside of that...manual labor. If i'm picking fruit I'll do it for 3 bucks an hour if you find 0==and pay for a nice hole in the ground for me to live in.

[WarrenT]

Newt: Can we wrap this up? I have a date with Destiny. And she charges more if I make her wait.

[Binky]

Very good evening for Dr. Paul.

Too bad he can't win a single delegate in Florida.

[Bee Tagger]

I thought Paul was excellent last debate and was completely ignored by most media outlets. I wonder if that will change with a 2nd strong performance, but more importantly, plenty of hop-ons from other candidates during the debate.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Those Paul mentions will be edited out of debate highlights.

[Res Publica Americana]

Guys, roflmao, CNN's post-debate analysts are literally completely ignoring Paul. Apparently, Romney won, and Santorum got very aggressive, and Paul doesn't exist.

What a disingenuous gaggle of fucktarded progressive pieces of shit. Fuck them.

[NoTalentAssclown]

The first guy mentioned Paul, saying he and Santorum did pretty well because they stayed out of the trivial bullshit between Newt Romney

[Res Publica Americana]

I've been watching it on this stream ever since the debate ended, and there was not a SINGLE mention of him at the round table they've got. Different cameras?

[NoTalentAssclown]

Not sure. First white Southerny dude they went to before talking to romney i believe. I've had a couple, so the timing may be off, but i heard "Paul"

[Binky]

I believe he basically complimented Paul on his humorous zingers.

[NoTalentAssclown]

they brought in all the pundits together, now Paul doesn't exist

[Res Publica Americana]

Fuck this shit. Stossel needs to ring Paul's performance endlessly, and try to compensate for CNN's dickless denial.

[Bam!]

Weird considering they actually payed attention to him during the debate.

[Tony]

RP is ignored because there is nothing new to learn from him. You could fit his policy proposals on a napkin. Although to be fair same goes for the other guys. I say they should be equally ignored.

[Mr. FIFY]

So should Obama, Tony.

[Cao ni ma]

Fuck the media. How many of them spoke out against the run up to the Iraq war? Sons of bitches.

[Bee Tagger]

I'm watching Stossel. How's the CNN coverage? Any Paul mentions?

[*]

Ha!

[Res Publica Americana]

What the hell's a Paul?

/CNN's post-debate round table of dipsticks.

[Res Publica Americana]

Collecting opinions: what did you guys think of Paul's and Romney's performances today?

[Bee Tagger]

Maybe not Paul's best substance-wise, but I think his best performance-wise.

I think Romney will be declared the winner by the media because he Gingriched Gingrich.

Most bizarre development has to be the near-open courting of Paul. Mitt practically apologize to Paul for accidentally suggesting we should use our military for something (can't remember what it was, was it cuba?)

[capitol h]

I think you spend too much time here.

[EDG reppin' LBC]

I agree: good showing by Paul. He was personable, humorous at times. He kept to the point that government was the obstacle, not the solution. And gave a very primary lesson in Austrian economics. The other candidates was chatter. But that is my selection bias.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Ron Paul kicked ass but didn't take names. Romney took names. Perfect running mates.

[Cao ni ma]

Jesus Fucking Christ. Romney/Paul? No fucking way. It would be like a whore and a celibate monk getting married.

[Drax the Destroyer]

It'd be like Shitorum holding hands with John Waters.

[Scruffy the Janitor]

So ...

perfect match?

[Scruffy the Janitor]

So ...

perfect match?

[cynical]

I see where you're going with this. Paul wins the VP slot, then we prove Romney is a replicant and Paul becomes president.

[Csonka]

I was thinking along similar lines. Stealth ObGyn, you're our only hope!

[0x90]

Easy: just put ROMNIAC into an infinite loop (say, solve for increasing liberty by means of force), and you can use it to heat the White House.

[Jumbie]

Those guys who put together the youtube packages of Ron Paul highlights from these debates need to do a separate one where Pauls states a postion and on of the other candidates says, "Ron Paul is right" or "I agree with congressman Paul."

[Mr. FIFY]

Finally... some sensible HuffPo:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/.....f=politics

[Cao ni ma]

Does that make it PuffHo?

[ANONYMOUS]

UN PRESIDENT TIM KALEMKARIAN, US PRESIDENT TIM KALEMKARIAN, US SENATE TIM KALEMKARIAN, US HOUSE TIM KALEMKARIAN: BEST MAJOR CANDIDATE.