Friday Funnies

Obama's plan for the economy

Comments

[Poet Laureate sloopyinca]

Why does Obama get to go into a bar that allows smoking, but I can't?

[capitol l]

Is Obama going to the head while Bill Cosby orders drinks, cause I don't see him.

[CityState=8000 yr drunk bender]

Alcohol is an appropriate metaphor.

[In recovery from Civilization]

My Name is Chellis and I'm in Recovery from Western Civilization
by Chellis Glendinning
http://www.amazon.com/dp/087773996X

[City Statism=8000 yr addiction]

"The American way of life is not negotiable."

George H.W. Bush
Earth Summit, 1992

[END:CIV Resist or Die]

http://endciv.com/

END:CIV examines our culture's addiction to systematic violence and environmental exploitation, and probes the resulting epidemic of poisoned landscapes and shell-shocked nations. Based in part on Endgame, the best-selling book by Derrick Jensen, END:CIV asks: "If your homeland was invaded by aliens who cut down the forests, poisoned the water and air, and contaminated the food supply, would you resist?"

[White Indian]

My name is White Indian and I AM RETARDED!

[Home planet is pretty trashed]

...and mentioning it really enrages the most drunk addicts.

Where is the honor for personal responsibility?

[rather]

My name is rather and I fart in jars.

http://www.amazon.com/fj/0373737721F

[Hayseed Dixie]

Keepin' your poop in a jar,
'Til the day you come back
So I don't forget just what you are,
Yeah, keepin' your poop in a jar.

[The Art-P.O.G.]

If that were the Cos, he'd be ordering Jello shots, amirite?

[capitol l]

I think it's one of them there Cosby impersonators, and he's allergic to horse marrow.

[Lord Humungus]

pudding shots!

[The Art-P.O.G.]

Based on Bailey's Irish Cream and Jell-O instant pudding? Yum.

[Rhywun]

"Why does Obama get to go into a bar that allows smoking, but I can't?"

It's good to be king?

[Suki]

He finds Virginia useful for more than just visiting Ray's Hellburger and screwing up traffic.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Obama wants to go greek with that young man? Very topical and edgy stuff (but the visual representation of that dude's anus was unnecessary).

[capitol l]

"Just as his asshole was about to yell "XYLOPHONE!" he keeled over."

[Spoonman.]

Cap-l, you bastard. Almost spat coffee on my work computer.

[Get to Work, Wage Slave]

Work makes a mockery of freedom. The official line is that we all have rights and live in a democracy. Other unfortunates who aren't free like we are have to live in police states. These victims obey orders or-else, no matter how arbitrary. The authorities keep them under regular surveillance. State bureaucrats control even the smaller details of everyday life. The officials who push them around are answerable only to higher-ups, public or private. Either way, dissent and disobedience are punished. Informers report regularly to the authorities. All this is supposed to be a very bad thing.

And so it is, although it is nothing but a description of the modern workplace. The liberals and conservatives and libertarians who lament totalitarianism are phonies and hypocrites. There is more freedom in any moderately deStalinized dictatorship than there is in the ordinary American workplace. You find the same sort of hierarchy and discipline in an office or factory as you do in a prison or monastery. In fact, as Foucault and others have shown, prisons and factories came in at about the same time, and their operators consciously borrowed from each other's control techniques. A worker is a part-time slave. The boss says when to show up, when to leave, and what to do in the meantime. He tells you how much work to do and how fast. He is free to carry his control to humiliating extremes, regulating, if he feels like it, the clothes you wear or how often you go to the bathroom. With a few exceptions he can fire you for any reason, or no reason. He has you spied on by snitches and supervisors, he amasses a dossier on every employee. Talking back is called "insubordination," just as if a worker is a naughty child, and it not only gets you fired, it disqualifies you for unemployment compensation. Without necessarily endorsing it for them either, it is noteworthy that children at home and in school receive much the same treatment, justified in their case by their supposed immaturity. What does this say about their parents and teachers who work?

The demeaning system of domination I've described rules over half the waking hours of a majority of women and the vast majority of men for decades, for most of their lifespans.

The Abolition of Work
Bob Black

[Social Worker]

Dear kindly social worker,
They tell me get a job,
Like be a soda jerker,
Which means I'd be a slob!

It's not I'm antisocial;
I'm only anti-work!
Glory Moses,
that's why I'm a jerk!

Eek! Officer Krupke,
You've done it again!
This boy don't need a job;
He needs a year in the pen!

It ain't just a question of misunderstood:
Deep down inside him, he's no good!

[Name Nomad the stealthmage]

Just wondering: who called in sick today?

[capitol l]

Talent.

[sage]

Nice.

[Amakudari]

Now the real countdown begins, for the Unofficial Skyrim Patch. (Also for me upgrading my PC.)

[Endless Mike]

My kids have a PIR day today, no school. Wonder if that was a coincidence, or planned...

[heller]

Only three metaphorical labels? You can do better than that.

[The Art-P.O.G.]

I realize the president is a pretty tall guy, but taller than Uncle Sam? GTFO, Sam is about 6' 8" tall counting his top hat.

[Fist of Etiquette]

"Washington, Washington, six foot eight, weighs a fucking ton..."

[The Art-P.O.G.]

Hrmm. Not bad. I actually like the art, even.

[Mango Punch]

FYI: it actually sucks

[Fist of Etiquette]

Pervert.

[Jerry]

Is Obama trying to escape his responsibilities via Natalie Portman's wormhole?

[PS]

Look, if anyone knows about stuffing, it's Natalie Portman.

[The Art-P.O.G.]

The negative space between the dead guy's legs looks like an upside down Silhouette of Abraham Lincoln with a teabag hanging from his head. Interpretations?

[Bucky]

...the missing chad! figures some European had it hidden in their a$$.

[rather]

If only the bar offered farts in jars. Then I could see something useful.

["Limited" gov't = farts in jar]

Plausible.

Fun to talk about.

Never happ'n, Cap'n.

[rather]

Limited government would be a good thing, just like storing your farts in jars for later use. Power a car with it, could your dinner with it, huff it for fun. The possibilities are not limited there.

[Private defense agencies...]

...could power themselves using it.

[rather]

Novel concept. Think of a tank powered by the farts coming from MREs. A great concept.

[Yawn]

Yawn.

[smz]

funny. not funny.

[smz]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wASZadMGB24

[Joe M]

Not terrible, but damn do we really need Uncle Sam labeled "USA"? Isn't that pretty much what the hat indicates?

[Joe M]

Oh, and the "we?" is superfluous, since the facial expression should make his feelings clear. TOO MANY LABELS.

[Rob]

Good morning, White Indian!

[Ready for heap big fun weekend]

[?]

Blankethead

[White Injun]

Mom, am I free to gambol about your basement?

[At least I'm not a wage slave]

and the chicks are free

http://HotCHICKSofOccupyWallStreet.tumblr.com/

[Faggot]

Dude! That's a man in drag at the bottom!

[Bucky]

am i free to gamble with your squaw?

[Ken Shultz]

Once again, I think it's really important to remember that what's happening in Greece and Italy right now can't happen here in the United States.

And that's because the Republicans are a bunch of rednecks.

Obviously, since the Republicans are a bunch of rednecks, then overspending isn't really a problem.

P.S. Overspending can't really be a problem--because the Republicans overspent too!

[Joe M]

The deficit and debt aren't problems. But just in case they are, the only way to fix them is to increase taxes.

[?]

The 1% must be punished, regardless.

[Robin Hood is in the house]

[Joe Biden]

Not true. Another solution is to spend more to reduce our debt.

[Lord Humungus]

exactly! The ship is on a good course, sailing straight and true.

[Ken Shultz]

Exactly!

Here's a chart of different country's national debt as a percentage of GDP:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/L.....ublic_debt

Greece was at 142% of GDP.

Italy was at 119% of GDP.

The U.S.? Well, we hadn't even crossed the 100% threshold yet at 94%!

So obviously there's nothing to worry about!

You may think to yourself--but what about the rate of our spending increase? Isn't Italy's problem a function of their market interest rate going up on their debt? If the market demands a higher rate for U.S. debt, won't we run into the same problems as Italy and Greece? Aren't we right on their threshold?

The answer to these questions is--don't be silly! There's nothing to worry about--because Michelle Bachman is an idiot. ...and, besides, Herman Cain was accused of sexual harassment.

Obviously, if Michelle Bachman is an idiot and Herman Cain was accused of sexual harassment, then there's no need to worry about our overspending--it's as simple as that.

[Julian Simon told me...]

...the supplies of resources are endless. Calm down, Ken, you sound like an environmentalist spouting off about the limits of growth.

[Ken Shultz]

Ah, the environmentalists...

It is interesting that certain people on the left denigrate anyone who doesn't see the impending doom of global warming--out of one side of their mouths...

...but somehow, out of the other side of their mouths, they denigrate anyone who thinks overspending is a problem--like people who believe overspending is a problem have been sucked in by a crank theory or something?

Anthropomorphic National Overspending is not a hoax!

[Which environmentalists...]

...denigrate anyone who thinks overspending is a problem?

Or do you just like making up shit as much as Obama?

[The Art-P.O.G.]

Doctrinaire leftists, duh.

[Obama]

Let me be clear. I don't make shit up. I read stuff that other people make up for me. We, as Americans, have to get used to doing with less. We won't always be number one. We can't always have a smart and creative President.

[Bucky]

another Credentialist for more power...

[Deliverance]

Does Obama have the launch code for the kill shot?

[Lord Humungus]

this is actually one of the least worst Friday Funnies I've ever seen. Which still isn't saying much.

[Terr]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

[Groovus Maximus]

Is that a price tag on that man's (?) rectum, or is the fart sentient and verbalizing, "X"? As in "Let's. Put. The. X. In. Sex."

Thanks Paul Stanley. Time to slice n'dice.

[rather]

This was funnier. 

[rather]

Never as funny as trying to determine what food was eaten to produce a particular fart aroma.

[rather]

This one was cooler

[occupy moscow]

seeing an oligarch paragliding makes me feel poor

[Wage slave isn't valid concept]

...to wage slave. He told me so.

I think he was humiliated.

[Bucky]

another downtrodden drunk with self-empowerment...
or is it self-enfranchisement?

[free2booze]

What is that "X" looking thing? Is that guy breaking wind?

[Poet Laureate sloopyinca]

Did Jerry Sandusky send that party guest of Obama's to the WH? Judging by his height, kid oughta be in a program for local youth, not pimped out for presidential buttsecks.

Now we know what the "x" is for. The kid whose legs are propped up is just laying on a barstool, I guess.

[P Brooks]

Needs more goats.

[anarch]

Why doesn't it say "Whaddaya mean we, White Man?"

[Zeb]

That might have actually made it funny.

[P Brooks]

Why doesn't it say "Whaddaya mean we, White Man?"

I think you know already, Mister RACIST.

[anarch]

Dat be Massah Racist, to you, Boh.

[bar fender]

Presumably, that object beside the bottle is a shot glass (?). Since when are shot glasses labelled with the customer's name?

[Kevin]

He's irregular, I mean, a regular.

[Almanian]

Happy Friday, Funnies.

[Mulberry Bayswater Bag]

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[jackets]

good