Politics

Herman Cain's Yellow Flowers

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You may have, during the past 24 hours, heard of a moderately weird Herman Cain ad that features smoking and weird timing. Well, I'm here to tell you that this Herman Cain ad is a good deal weirder:

Link via Boing Boing.

Reason on Herman Cain here, including his candidate profile as part of our Presidential Dating Game.

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  1. Hi I’m actor Troy McClure. You might remember me from…..
    ….such educational films as “Lead Paint: Delicious But Deadly,” and “Here Comes the Metric System!”

    1. Mr. McClure, I have a crazy friend who says that voting for Herman Cain is wrong. Is he crazy?

      1. Yes Timmy, yes he is.

        (pats Timmy’s head)

        1. Sock fail

      2. Yes Timmy, yes he is.

        (pats Timmy’s head)

  2. Now THIS one I understand. Thanks, Matt!

  3. Despite his excellent suggestions on slaughtering people who attempt to cross our border, for obvious reasons, I cannot endorse Herman Cain.

    1. Yellow flowers are pretty. I like Cain.

    2. White Power!

  4. Needs more Jim Jarmusch style surrealism.

    But I liked the chicken.

  5. Is this a joke? I mean, with kidding and stuff? Because I’m not seeing this as a winning approach.

    Are we being punked?

    1. It’s almost as bad as Ron Paul’s 2008 New Hampshire ad.

      1. That’s low budget, with poor acting and production quality. However, it isn’t that weird. Cain has found a new level of weirdness.

        It’s this bullshit among the marketing world about trying to monetize viral memes. They don’t generally know what the hell they’re doing, and they often damage their brand trying to catch the wave.

        1. Agreed. The video needs more substance.

          1. It does if Cain wants it posted here.

            1. It does if Cain wants it posted here.

              wait…what?

              1. MNG said Warty lacked substance, then there was a substance debate, and now we have yet another substanceless inside joke to sustain.

                1. Don’t forget the part about making more than you. That’s a key ingredient.

                  1. Oh, right. Though I think he makes more than Episiarch. Or something like that.

                2. This place would be really boring without the inside jokes.

    2. Why do you say that?

      Just because he’s running a campaign ad that’s so off key, it would make the Badnarik 2004 people squirm?

      He’s the GOP frontrunner?!

      Oh, mercy.

      That ad makes the “Dean Scream” look look okay by comparison.

      1. There is no frontrunner. That is the secret of this primary.

        The next president is going to be from the GOP, almost no matter what, but nothing says he can’t be batshit insane.

        1. Just like it was going to be a democrat in ’04?

          1. Wishful thinking. I figured Bush would win that fairly easily, as people still had the shakes then from 9/11 and were a little wary of Kerry.

            This economy, while not dead, is in a coma. People are tending to blame the government for that, for once. Obama is fucked perhaps more than any president since Carter. I’d say he has almost no chance at all of winning.

            1. I agree about the GOP.

              If ever there was an election the GOP should win, it’s this one.

              Hell, Obama has an opposition movement coalescing to his left! That’s like Bush the Greater trying to fend off Perot on his right.

              The caveat is that I don’t think Perry can win the swing vote–especially as he continues to be more identified with Bush the Lesser.

              People are still sick of Bush the Lesser. I bet Obama’s campaign people are rootin’ for Perry.

              1. Hell, Obama has an opposition movement coalescing to his left! That’s like Bush the Greater trying to fend off Perot on his right.

                Very different. Obama will have no primary challenger, and I see no evidence that there will be a significant third party challenge from the left. It’s basically the deadline to file in too many states now.

            2. I dunno about that. The GOP seems Hell-bent on giving him a fighting chance.

              1. Crazy and/or distasteful candidates aren’t perceived as having wrecked our economy or as being responsible for fiddling while Rome burns.

                Besides, everyone forgets that the general is run on a far more moderate basis, with less psycho-base-pandering. And, strangely, very little seems to come up from the primaries.

                1. I think that’s true.

                  It’s like baseball and football. There are a lot of people who don’t really tune in until the World Series or Superbowl.

            3. How many states will Obama lose?

              1. 56. He’ll win Guam in a squeaker.

                1. Now that was funny.

        2. Would this prediction hold in the face of an ongoing Kinetic Military Action in Syria?

        3. “The next president is going to be from the GOP, almost no matter what, but nothing says he can’t be batshit insane.”

          Well damn – if had known that…

      2. It still isn’t as weird as the Francis Ford Coppola ad for Jerry Brown’s presidential run in ’80. The one that was dubbed Apocalypse Right Now.

  6. Obviously the flowers symbolize the 9-9-9 plan, and the blonde represents America, and the someguy with the 9-9-9-plan-as-flowers represents Herman-Cain-as-some-guy saving America-as-a-blonde. Duh, you idiots.

    Note: I didn’t watch with the sound on. These things might actually represent those things, for all I know.

    1. Adobe crashed when I tried to watch it. Normally I’d say it was because the commercial was too crazy for it to handle, except that it’s Adobe we’re talking about.

      1. Meh. Sure it wasn’t your Microsoft or your Intel?

    2. He’s offering to bring back the crazy that the rest of the world once feared and respected in the United States. Used to be, no one was quite sure what we’d do–go isolationist, go to war, invent demon weapons with our science and eradicate cities. We were muy loco. And with President Cain, we can be that kind of crazy again.

      Bring back the insane: Cain 2012.

      1. NUKE THE MOON

        1. Yes, I was thinking about that, too. Bet you a buck that Cain refers to that before his campaign ends.

        2. I will definitely vote for the first candidate to include “NUKE THE MOON” in his or her official platform.
          Perhaps surreal absurdity is our only hope for the future in post reductio America.

          1. Two words: Newcular Titties

            1. He does seem the most likely to Nuke the Moon.

  7. I think they should have added guns.

    And a sumo wrestler.

    1. There should be some zombies in that ad!

      1. It should have ended with an explosion.

      2. Dude, leave us alone. We’re too busy campaigning for Obama!

      3. Vampires. Needs vampires.

  8. Goddammit, if Rick Perry can save the planet from a rogue comet, Herman Cain can take on the Clantons. He’s got my vote.

  9. Not sure the white women folk are going to like this one…

    1. White women like chickens.

  10. I get it. Weird is the new cool. And YouTube is the world repository for weird. Will this help the Cain campaign? I guess as long as the campaign didn’t pay for this, it can’t hurt.

    1. If you simply must market in this manner, why not play on the name? Cain like Caine from Kung Fu? His blind master for flashbacks could be a CGI Ronald Reagan.

      1. Why are people named Cain at all?

        I mean he was a bad guy in the bible right…

        May as well name your children Jezebel and Herod

        1. Well, if you don’t like Kung Fu, then how about The Caine Mutiny? The ad could feature Cain, sitting before a tribunal, being crazy.

        2. Yes, Cain was the first bad male in the bible.

          1. I dunno, I’d think that the whole “sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin” sin thing would Adam at least in the running.

            1. Bitch set him up.

      2. I think he had Malkav make this video.

  11. Ah boingboing – love that site for it’s cultural/geek content, but when it comes to rational political reasoning, they have two speeds: MOCK GOP and BLAME BUSH.

    Obama decides to bomb Libya, send troops to Africa or drone-strike a US citizen and they turn a blind eye to any of it. Instead they will talk about “teh greedy banks VS brave noble protestors”.

    It’s weird when they can see so much buffoonery in the GOP govt but turn around and honestly expect *their* side to be brilliant, honest and magically able to fix any problem with a wave of a wand.

    1. Their politics are ridiculous and always have been.

  12. Cain would be funny if there wasn’t a serious chance he might win.

    1. Are you serious?

      Are you…oh, I guess you are. Never mind.

  13. I’m secretly praying that Cain and Romney will eat eachother and somehow clear the way for Gary Johnson to come from behind.

    1. There, there, Hazel – take your medicine and lie back down. Theeeeeere’s a good girl…

      1. I do think the weakness of this field actually does give Paul an outside chance.

        What’s funny is that Johnson should be looking pretty good against this slate of characters. What a bizarre system we have where he can be openly snubbed before a vote has been cast.

        1. Yes, of course the competition to make Paul sound like the sane responsible guy is also making Romney sound like a sane responsible guy.

      2. The hell with that, I want what she’s having.

  14. Why can’t he just Gravel it and throw some pizza slices into a pond.

  15. I liked it, especially the fuck-PC blowing-smoke-at-the-camera bit.

    Boortz freaked out about that on his semi-GOP cheerleading show today, because for some reason Boortz takes the anti-smoking stances of Team Blue.

    Yes, I am saying that most anti-smokers are Team Blue-ers.

    OWN it, bitches.

    1. I remember when he used to seem 100% libertarian.

      1. So do I. And then 9/11 happened and he went full blown war-monger neocon.

        1. It is, indeed, dissapoint.

    2. The smoking thing bothers me actually. Yeah, I think people should be allowed to smoke, but that doesn’t mean its not a filhy disgusting habit that will give you cancer.

      1. My problem is with anti-smoking groups who convince cities to pass overreaching anti-smoking ordinances to the point where even a shop that sells cigars and pipe tobacco, can’t allow consumption on-site, or at a cigar bar, for instance.

        The one that got passed in Springfield, MO, won’t even allow use of electronic cigarettes – which do not emit smoke – just because they LOOK like cigarettes.

        Candy-assed bullshit like that.

        And I don’t smoke cigarettes. Six, maybe eight, cigars a year.

        Oh… and pot.

      2. I can’t deny that you are right about smoking, but I must say that seeing public figures openly smoking and not apologizing for it excites the contrarian in me and makes me like them more at this point.

    1. You would.

      1. Cain dares to be different. He really is not the typical polished politician

        I don’t think the critics get that the public doesn’t want the status quo

  16. This is the universe telling us to avoid, at all costs, voting for Herman Cain.

    1. This is the universe telling us to avoid, at all costs, voting.

  17. That is one hell of a creepy pedo smile affixed to Cain’s face at the end of the video.

    1. Goosebumps, man.

      Also possibly a tingle up my leg.

  18. The yellow flowers ad is way old news. The new dude smoking in your face was awesome until Cain’s scary smile at the end.

  19. In addition to being flagrantly batshit insane, Republicans are mostly right on economic policy.

    1. A minority of Republicans, it would seem.

  20. This would make more sense if they were smoking weed…or if I was. I like Herman OK, but WTF?

  21. Searcy was on a show that was a guilty pleasure of mine back in the day: 7 Days.

  22. I think he’s trying to reassure racists that, under a Cain presidency, it will still be ok to punch a black guy for giving you lip.

  23. I never really thought about it like that before dude. I mean like wow.

    http://www.web-privacy.au.tc

  24. Well, um, uh, um…

    Who else was surprised when the Rangers came through Monday night?

    1. Who else was surprised when the Rangers came through Monday night?

      Speaking of people trying to out stupid each other…

  25. When are you coming back to LA, you Angel rooting hipster?

  26. I turn my back for a few hours, and someone tuk my jorb “White Power!”ing boingboing links?

    THAT SHIT IS TRADEMARK, NIGGA

    B) Ad’s good. Except for the anachronistic door latch. Took me right out of it.

    That and the black-guy-for-president part. None of us will live to see that happen.

  27. Mike Gravel 2012

  28. As a conservative this is the last straw for me! The Cain craze has got to stop. I admit that I kinda liked him at first, until I realized how uninformed, unpolished and unintelligible he was. Cain would get obliterated in the general by the Obama machine, probably even a worst beating then McCain got last time! This election should be a cake walk, but if we put a guy up there who can’t even pronounce ‘Uzbekistan’, we might as well be waiving the white flag right now. Please wake up America! Obama, Cain, McCain, all were terrible choices! I’m back on the Romney bandwagon; he is a turn around artist and would at least be qualified for the job, unlike Obama or Cain.

  29. Did the guy who did Pawlenty’s ads just drop off the face of the Earth? Come on, guys, I’m assuming he’s available if he’s not dead.

  30. Wow, once again a teleprompter reference… is that silly attempt at mocking ever going to die?

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