Nicholas Kristof Worries That Budget Cuts Could Lead To John Boehner Being Mauled By a Tiger, Or Something
Apparently in response to this genuinely tragic story about several dozen dangerous animals escaping from an Ohio zoo, New York Times columnist Nicholas Kristof imagines public budget cuts coming back to bite Ohio GOP Rep. and Speaker of the House John Boehner. He tweets:
Imagine John Boehner home in OH, seeing an escaped tiger--and getting a msg that help is unavailable due to govt cutbacks.
Lions and tigers and budget cuts, oh my! Even amongst the you-can't-cut-that! crowd, this is a strange concern. For one thing, Boehner is a something of an odd target for this sort of worst-case-scenario worrying, if only because he's not much of a budget cutter: The cut, cap, and balance plan he supported last summer, for example, exempted three of the federal government's biggest ticket items—Medicare, Social Security, and the war on terror—from its proposed spending caps.
More to the point is that Boehner, as House Speaker, has influence over the federal budget. And the federal budget, despite all the recent crowing about our new age of austerity, has not exactly been subject to deep and debilitating cuts. Quite the opposite. As The Wall Street Journal noted yesterday, the federal government spent $3.6 trillion last year, with $1.298 trillion of it borrowed, setting a single-year spending record and coming in second place on the all-time annual deficit charts.
Now, it's true that the state-level story is somewhat different. Facing at least a $5 billion budget deficit—and probably more like $8 billion—Ohio's Republican Gov. John Kasich cut spending in order to balance the budget without raising taxes. Predictably, his opponents weren't too pleased. But those cuts were focused primarily on reducing and reforming prison and education spending. Nor does it seem that any of the other cuts have dramatically weakened the ability of local authorities to take measures to respond to the zoo escape: According to ABC News, state police have cordoned off a seven square mile area near the zoo and have already shot as many as 25 of the animals—not exactly a response that screams, "Sorry, we'd like to help, but there's this austerity thing so we can't." Neither Boehner nor Kasich seem likely to be subject to budget-cut-related tiger attacks any time soon.
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Disaster liberalism!
Or something like that.
Warty, are lions, tigers, and bears free to gambol across Muskingum County plains and forest?
not a zoo but a private animal collection
This actually reminds me of a picture I have up on my fridge:
http://pwnata.blogspot.com/200.....ad0c4fa344
I guess the idea here is, "cut any part of public-sector budgets, and we will all be eaten by packs of wild animals...because the only thing preventing an immediate decline into a dystopian anarachism are our *ever increasing taxes*
Its taxes that keep our roofs from leaking!
Its taxes that insure our food isn't poisoned!
Its taxes that prevents lions from eating our children!
Oh my FUCKING god that is awesome!
I'm bookmarking that blog - thanks, GILMORE!
Imagine John Boehner home in OH, seeing an escaped tiger--and getting a msg that help is unavailable due to govt cutbacks.
It's impressive that Nick Kristoff can out-stupid Bill Kristoff. That takes effort. I guess the same last name makes them very competitive for most stupid.
What about me? I'm only a few consonant's off! And terribly stupid!
Good point, I was wrong. It is before 10 AM. But it's good to know you're obsessed with me. Oh wait, I already knew that, rectal.
Nice apostrophe, you stupid cunt.
Is that joe'z law or RC'z law? The one where, in calling someone else stupid, you fuck up and look even stupider?
Fuck joe. They both get to be RC'z law.
Dude, it was the only worthwhile contribution joe ever made. Don't take that away from him.
It is, historically speaking, joez law.
joe'z law. And it is awesome every single time it happens. Give credit where credit is due.
No shit, man. What idiots!
It's impressive that Nick Kristof can out-stupid Bill Kristol.
Remember, Kristof is the schmuck who falsely accused Steven Hatfill of being the anthrax letter mailer with absolutely nothing to back it up with except some loopy woman's claim.
Yeah, he's pretty fucking stupid alright.
It's nice the cops could get a little diversion. Shooting pet dogs gets so boring after awhile.
Of course you gave seen Reid's comments by now.
Reid says government jobs must take priority over private-sector jobs
http://thehill.com/blogs/floor.....ector-jobs
How did that shit for brains get elected in the first place? Americans don't vote for betas like him, he can't even speak without sniveling. The fraud that put him office must have been on a massive scale.
Americans don't vote for betas like him,
---------------
au contraire, my friend. A certain class of American not only votes for people like him, its existence depends on the likes of Reid. He got elected by appealing to growing Paul class...as in the govt which takes from Peter to give to Paul can always count on the support of Paul.
The looter and parasite class is growing; it is the foundation of liberal governance. The left can only survive by creating scapegoats and villains, by ginning up faux anger that others can blame for their own sorriness, and the natural jealousy some have toward anyone who earns a dollar more than they do.
Government jobs = union jobs = union dues = Democrat campaign funds = Democratic Senate majority = Harry Reid's job.
Boehner could disguise himself as another tiger by grabbing a sharpie and adding some stripes to his already orange skin. Problem solved. Unless the other tiger were in heat...
Or he could shoot the critter with a handgun, if he were allowed to own one.
Suderman: See Kristoff, I've run circles round you logically.
Kristoff: Oh, intercourse the tiger.
If there isn't enough money for the bear patrol, you blame illegal immigrants on the need for higher taxes.
This guy who owned the zoo is a total prick. "I'll just let my animals out before I kill myself. Nothing bad could happen to them!"
That said, Ohio could use a few wolves and mountain lions. Fuck deer.
Yeah it would have been much more humane to let them starve to death in their enclosures following his suicide. He probably expected that some may go free to gambol about hill and plain, but that most would be tranquilized and captured for zoos. What he didn't count on is the neverending bloodlust of statist jackboot cunts.
Right, the choices were to let them starve to death or let them loose irresponsibly. Do you have trouble remembering to breathe?
The guy had made up his mind to kill himself. Kind of a big decision, and not one you take lightly, if you didn't know. As in, if you have your mind made up to ice yourself, you don't think "Hmm, maybe noon next Thursday would be a more convenient time..."
He made up his mind to kill himself and before he did so he emancipated the animals under his care. They would at least have some probability of survival, however small. Or they could have whithered and died from starvation, a horrible horrible fate from most accounts. So yes, those were the choices. Or are you a naive fool who thinks you can take a truckload of large predators to the zoo or human society and casually drop them off?
You seriously believe no animal welfare society would have taken them off his hands? You are too stupid to breathe.
Also, aren't you the stupid cunt who whines about Jews?
Or are you a naive fool who thinks you can take a truckload of large predators to the zoo or human society and casually drop them off?
Okay, so you're that then. Impressively stupid.
Seriously, one call to a zoo or animal welfare society, and I suspect an entire network would have been activated that could have taken care of these animals.
Suicide is always an act of self-absorption, but this clown takes the cake. What schmuck.
Oh, whatever, sister.
The animals were released at night. You do realize that tranquilizing animals is not as simple as "dart --> fall over" like it's portrayed on television, right? Once you dart the tiger, you have to follow it. At night.
In this example, nighttime tracking of a pissed-off tiger < shooting said tiger.
I didn't count on your neverending panty-twisting, pearl-clutching, and hand-wringing. They're just animals for Galt's sake.
Hmm libertarians constantly demand police take utmost caution and use killing humans as only a very very last resorts. Yet, when it comes to animals (farrrrr rarer, more interesting, and worth more than the vast majority of statist entitlement-whoring humans), you propose gunning them down because its "too hard to follow them for 10 minutes".
You want to go be a superhero and follow around a now-pissed-off tiger, you be my guest.
As to your second, well, humans have rights and nonhumans don't. I don't care how "interesting" the animal is unless it is interestingly served with a paired wine and an appropriate side.
"too hard to follow them for 10 minutes".
Well, if you expand that a little to include "without running a good chance of getting your face ripped off", you might have a point.
It wasn't one tiger. It was 18. Imagine shooting a tiger with a dart then chasing it through the woods at night all while trying to avoid 17 other tigers. And multiple lions, wolves, bears, camels and a monkey.
The sheriff's office got a call that animals were loose. They showed up to find 50 giant predators loose on the property, several of which were circling a dead man (cause of death unknown at the time) lying by the gate.
They did what they had to do to make sure 50 of the world's greatest predators didn't go loose.
Yeah it would have been much more humane to let them starve to death in their enclosures following his suicide.
-----------------------------
so in your limited intelligence, those are the only options? He could not have called animal control or some such agency? He could not have had the common sense to understand that wild animals are just that..wild..and are not meant to be kept by people? What part of the US strikes you as natural habitat for tigers and lions, let alone bears? The rest of us must have missed the part where sections of Ohio are similar to either the Serengeti or Yellowstone.
Seriously fool? The entire country save Hawai'i is a natural habitat of bears. And there used to be giant fucking felines roaming around, until the dudes White Indian worships genocided them out of existence (along with massive hairyangry elephants).
And you are DUMB. DUMB. if you think he could have dropped off a truckload of exotic animals anywhere where they wouldn't be immediately executed.
I like your "not meant to be kept by people". Who ordained what is and isn't meant to be kept? Your deity? Or your mighty lawgivers who never err?
try harder. It's not bears that are the problem as they are actually native to the US. Lions and tigers, not so much. Maybe the cats could have been farmed out to zoos, maybe not.
Amazing how in your animal rights world, it is now okay to keep certain creatures as pets when it is your mindset that freaks out over dogs on leashes. Pick a side. No one "ordained" the keeping of certain beasts; evolution pretty much moved the human brain to the point that most of figured out that a tiger in the backyard is probably not a good idea.
One more thing - Hawaii is a state. Not a country. But you call others dumb. Thanks for a sterling example of the typical Obama voter.
Hey dumbshit. Learn to read. "The entire country save Hawai'i". That means bears lived in every state except for Hawai'i, originally.
..but coming from the same moron who wrote the phrase '...lions and tigers, let alone bears"..I'm not surprised that you can't fucking read. By the way, that phrase you wrote - it means it would be even more absurd if their were bears in the US than if there were lions and tigers. That's what the "let alone..." phrase is used for. Dumbass.
Where's Boehner's pistol in all of this?
Pistol beats Tiger.
+1
I suspect it depends very much on the pistol.
500 pounds of ravening carnivore is unlikely to be stopped (in time, anyway) by most handguns.
We're here, we're queer, we don't want any more bears!
you know, back in those crazy days of yore, a bunch of civilians would take out their guns. Then the hunting would start.
Ah, the good ol' days where people were allowed to protect themselves.
Wasn't there recently a story about an Idaho (or some other northwestern state) man who shot a bear on his property and was promptly sued by the feds?
Nowadays, we have sniveling little asshats like PETA who put the Texas creek newt far above human lives and use violence to do it.
By "allowed to" I mean people's right to protect themselves wasn't stripped from them by the government. My bad.
Is that supposed to be a negative thing? John Boehner getting mauled by tigers sounds pretty fucking rad to me.
Beat me to it, Matt; I'm not seeing anything wrong here.
not attempting to be a troll, but I'm genuinely curious if there is some sort of libertarian position on the ownership of "exotic animals"
I think the Libertarian position would be: If you want and can afford to obtain exotic animals, go for it. If your exotic animals get out and start mauling people, we'll send the sheriff after you.
There is also the arument to be made that allowing private ownership of exotic animals (especially endangered species) is beneficial to the species, because it increase the number of individuals. And of course their children can be used to repopulate extinct/extripated populations in the wild.
Imagine if the cut the military budget and Godzilla attacks the White House and Congress.
Wipe those smiles off your faces!
Obviously, Kristoff had zero interest in actually thinking about the issues. He just wanted to spout off some easy attack line to score cheap points against Team Red. Trying to decipher real meaning is like reading chicken bones.
Imagine John Boehner home in OH, seeing an escaped tiger--and getting a msg that help is unavailable due to govt cutbacks.
Oh, oh, I want to play! How about:
Imagine Nick Kristof lost in the woods, seeing an escaped Steve Smith--and getting a msg that help is unavailable due to govt cutbacks.
Imagine Joe Biden home in DE, seeing a runaway train--and getting a msg that help is unavailable due to govt cutbacks.
Imagine Herman Cain home in GA, seeing an escaped spaceship full of hostile Mexicans--and getting a msg that help is unavailable due to govt cutbacks.
This is fun!
Since he's a lib, Kristoff can't imagine a world where the other conservative fantasy is entertained at the same time as budget cuts.....reasserting our 2nd ammendment rights!
In a free society, we use guns to defend ourselves, we don't cry to the police to save us.
Stupid ass Americans (in general, not reason.com specifically) seem to think that these exotic animals are an imment threat that will collectively kill and consume dozens, maybe hundreds, of people every day if the poolice weren't there to cruelly cap them without due process.
I have to wonder what such simple-minded pond scum think living in Africa, Vietnam, or India is like. Constantly on the run from waves of large predators that maul anything and everything in the path? Every day that you wake up, you find that 3 or 4 of your pals were devoured or trampled by a (not-so) exotic animal in the night? FFS
zuo,
stupid ass Americans describes the type of loon who thinks keeping a tiger is like having a lab. It's not. 400 pound predators are just that, predators. For starters, Ohio is hardly their natural habitat unless you know where the herds of gazelles, zebras, water buffalo, and the rest are hiding out. Failing natural food sources, they will turn to alternatives. They are wild animals; it's what they do.
"Simple-minded pond scum" in the 3rd world know to stay away from lions and tigers because, in fact, people ARE killed by these animals every year. They are usually killed by being in the wrong place at the wrong time, not because they are the natural prey. How many folks in the Midwest does your addled brain figure to be naturally aware of large-scale predators? Someone in OH who is aware of large cats and knows how to act around them is almost as common as liberals who understand that taking from one person to give to another is wrong.
And this was going to happen...by dawn?
Ohio actually IS natural habitat for bears and wolves. Wolves don't currently range that far, but they did once. And many of the animals shot were bears and wolves.
Do you live in a place with bears? Bears walk down my street every month. They only get shot if they fuck with somebody or try to break into a house. That's why what happened here is odd to me: to me, "bear in area" does not mean "oh shit we're all in horrible danger until that bear is dead dead dead!" It means "Hey, look - a bear! Cool!"
Do you live in a place with bears?
------------------
used to; mountains of Western NC. And, you are missing the point. Bears will eat a heavily veg diet and are surrounded by natural habitat; they only wander into backyards when natural food sources are scarce.
Tigers and lions are a bit less indigenous to the country, and they are not big on berries, turning over trash cans, or foraging through bird feeders. Plus, they have not habituated to humans to any extent. You can shoo a bear away without much trouble; I'm a little hesitant to try that on big cats.
So naturally the tigers and lions would go target humans going about their business on Euclid Ave. Not like there aren't huge numbers of deer in the Ohio countryside, which closely resemble the likes of gazelle - except are slower. No, instead of attacking ungulates in the open, the carnivores are going to hit the suburbs and snatch poor little Ohioans right out of their kitchen window...FFS
So naturally the tigers and lions would go target humans going about their business on Euclid Ave
Actually, I was kinda hoping the tiger would head over to the public school.
FYI though, where I live in Canada, there are typically two or three cougar attacks per year on humans, mnay of them children. While I feel the cougars have been wronged by people building subdivisions where the cats used to roam freely, it is a little hard to explain that to the parents.
That was my thought. Although I also noted that there are lots of large predators IN THE USA in the wild, including big cats, bears, wolves, alligators, and (thanks to dumbasses) giant disgusting scaly murderous python snakes.
How have we survived this long without exterminating them all?
Fail.
Did you just say "exotic" animals are entitled to "due process"? I do have to echo Warty: how do you breathe when you're that dumb?
Wild animals ain't shit.
Pass the jobs bill or you gonna get raped!
http://www.weeklystandard.com/.....98267.html
Wow. Raped by *Joe Biden*. Thats a dedicated politician
aka, the Anti-Steve Smith Bill.
So who gets to tow the lion here?
You can take the tiger out of the woods...
Imagine John Boehner home in OH, seeing an escaped tiger--and getting a msg that help is unavailable due to govt cutbacks.
Simple solution: more govt cutbacks to make the zoo non-existent in the first place.
Simpler solution. Get a tiger repelling rock.
Simpler-er (well, safer, anyway) solution: Get a large bore rifle.
Wasn't a public zoo. It was a lunatic with a private collection of really un-vegan animals who reportedly killed himself after letting them all out. This has now condemned all of these beasts to death.
Two things:
1. What will Kristoff do when a pack of Tea Party members, escaped from a nearby federal political re-education camp, are spotted nearby but the collapse of the dollar has rendered the government unable to pay for any sort of law enforcement or other essential services?
2. This has been around a while, but it's new to me.
thanks