Sex

Who Wouldn't Want to Give DSK a Blowjob?

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With any luck, this is the last time I will write about Dominique Strauss-Kahn's famous blowjob at the Sofitel in Manhattan. But now that he has apologized for his "moral error," what are we to make of his account? He says he neither forced Nafissatou Diallo to perform oral sex nor paid her to do so. So we are supposed to believe that a hotel maid was eager to fellate a pudgy, 62-year-old stranger simply because the idea appealed to her? Strauss-Kahn did suggest an alternative explanation:

He gave vent to his anger with Ms. Diallo and his own theory that he might have been the victim of some plot to take advantage of his own moral failings. He said that he had not ruled out that the sexual act with Ms. Diallo and what followed "could be a trap," he said. "A plot? We'll see."

Diallo, for her part, says she had no idea who he was, and I tend to believe her. But note that the trap she supposedly set for him consisted of coming to clean his room when he was horny. That, according to Strauss-Kahn, was the equivalent of placing a stumbling block before the blind.

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  1. Come to think of it, he does look quite a bit like Admiral Ackbar.

    1. He is obviously suffering from severe semen build-up in that photo. If he doesn’t blow a load soon, he could explode.

    2. I was about to type, “If someone walks up to you and wants to randomly blow you for no reason, if your inner Admiral Akbar doesn’t start shouting you’re too stupid to be President of France anyway.”

    3. he does look quite a bit like Admiral Ackbar

      IT’S A RAPE!

      1. In order to make Star Wars more serious and dramatic and just because I can, I’ve decided to alter the blu-ray to include a scene where Ackbar rapes Nien Nunmb in the bathroom of the Millenium Falcon.

      2. Put together a jpg for failblog.

  2. what followed “could be a trap,”

    When you’re sitting at a quiet little bar tucked away in some quiet corner of a casino in Vegas (they have those, you know), and a really hot chick in a slinky dress sidles up next to you and starts hitting on you, you should probably ask yourself: “Hooker, or crazy?”

    1. Which one are you hoping is the answer?

    2. Which are you hoping for?

    3. I usually think “robber”.

      1. That’s a man, baby!

      2. Yeah, I gotta go with Tulpa on that one.

        If any hot chick (hell, any chick period) approaches me in Vegas or in any other city without me painstakingly stalking her for six months beforehand, I’m bailing before I wake up in a bathtub full of ice with no kidneys.

    4. you should probably ask yourself: “Hooker, or crazy?”

      False choice.

  3. “When you are caught in the jaws of this machine, you have the impression that it can crush you. I was humiliated before I could even say a word in my defense.”

    I don’t know, seems that in this particular circumstance he might have picked a little bit better metaphor to describe his plight.

  4. [W]hat are we to make of his account? He says he neither forced Nafissatou Diallo to perform oral sex nor paid her to do so.

    That he’s so dreamy, every hotel maid in NY wants to fuck him?

    1. Anybody who can drop a $1000+ a night on a hotel suite in an establishment as pretentious as Sofitel could reasonably be assumed to be a “big tipper.”

    2. Suck him, not fuck him, OM.

  5. Maybe he just has very strange standards as to what constitutes “violence” or “constraint”.

    Apparently he doesn’t consider wrestling a woman to the ground and trying to rip her clothes off an attempted rape either.

    1. If you fail to ask explicit permission at each step of escalation of a sexual encounter, it’s a rape!

      1. I guess because she wasn’t saying “no” while his cock was in her mouth that is implied consent.

        1. Well, if she didn’t bite him…

        2. Finally, a standard reasonable adults can agree on!

  6. “CRAAAAAAAAAZEEEEEEEEEEE!” of course.

  7. Guess what the season premiere of Law & Order: SVU will be based on?

    It’s a trap!

  8. When you have kids, you’ll understand.

  9. The French are like this, trust me, I’ve seen all the Pepe LePew cartoons.

    1. Pepe was French-Canadian.

      1. Boy, I’ll bet you’re a riot at parties… and comedy clubs… and magic shows

  10. It wouldn’t surprise me one bit if one of his political enemies who was familiar with his predilections got to her and tried to use her to bring him down.

    Before all this happened, he was widely considered to be a serious contender to be the next French president. The things that people at this level will do to each other to acquire or hold onto power are pretty sick.

  11. Can I toss his salad first?

    1. Better ask if he’s gonna want you to sign a waiver first.

  12. DSK must be the only guy who thinks Bangbus is a documentary.

  13. Child prostitution victim becomes role model

    (her name is Keisha Head)

    http://www.ajc.com/news/atlant…..83927.html

    1. Technically wasn’t Traci Lords a child porn victim?

  14. ” eager to fellate a pudgy, 62-year-old stranger”

    I dunno, we had an older, pudgy President who got a blow job from a much younger woman in recent history.It’s not unheard of for women to have sex with supposedly wealthy and powerful, albeit pudgy and older, men.

    I would think the way so many people got hooked on misinformation and jumped to conclusions on the DSK case would make many use a lot more caution in commenting on the case.

    1. Because as we all know, DSK was a such a world famous man before the scandal, that even the maid would have known who this guy was. I mean who would not want to blow the IMF head.

      1. Ah, a spoof, I’m betting it’s from one of the many conclusion jumpers around here angry that I called them out.

        1. Of course when I claim that this maid would blow a completely unknown man such as DSK, that is not jumping to conclusions, because it is a completely verifiable fact !

    2. Even Monica didn’t blow Bill within 30 seconds of meeting him for the first time.

      1. She was an intern, still learning.

      2. look, it is not unheard of for women to throw themselves at wealthy, powerful though older, unnactractive men. She works at a high dollar hotel, she knows the tenants are wealthy and powerful, sleeping with such men often garners women benefits (money and such). I’ve no idea what happened there, but neither does anyone here. If you’re going to travel so frequently and far in the Land of Conjecture then you have to deal with stops in Reasonable Alternative Conjectureville.

        1. Like I already mentioned, this DSK was so famous, every maid working in a hotel would have known who this guy was. Also, hinting that the women threw herself at this guy is completely different to hinting that he threw himself at her, that would be jumping to conclusions !

          1. “DSK was so famous, every maid working in a hotel would have known who this guy was”

            Had you heard of him before this scandal? I had not.

            How many people actually follow international banking news and French politics?

        2. MNG MUST DIE!

        3. If she “works at a high dollar hotel, she knows the tenants are wealthy and powerful, sleeping with such men often garners women benefits (money and such)”, then what are the odds that DSK was the very first one she knocked down, peeled off, and blew?

    3. Of course, she went to great lengths to get her, umm, position, and knew exactly who the blowee was.

    4. I always thought the President acted wrongly in that case for not suspecting that–in the words of another famous DC politician–“the Bitch would set me up!”

      President or no, uninvited blow jobs from women 20 to 30 years your junior just do not fly at your crotch. Between gay dudes? Sure, but not from women.

      Any man too dumb to verify before enjoying should not have the nuke codes.

  15. At least this episode proves that being head of the IMF does not make you think very clearly. I mean this guy was afraid that this really was a setup, but still goes ahead (pardon the pun).

    Then people like MNG and Tony would like to convince everyone that when these people run the world, there is nothing to worry about.

  16. I’m still wondering when he made his reservations on that Air France flight they dragged him off of.

    If he made them before the ‘job, then maybe he had to bolt the hotel and barely make the flight because the little hussy delayed him. If he didn’t have reservations ahead of time, then what exactly came up between the ‘job and the flight that required him to rush back to a notably extradition-free jurisdiction?

  17. After “forced fellatio”, the conversation should there. Anyone who doesn’t laughingly dismiss such claims is engaging in wishful thinking. He did not force her to suck him because that’s impossible.

    1. It happens in prison all the time, dude.

      1. I may go rob a bank.

  18. “Social security surplus, ah, guess where it’s going. Got my hand in everything like Dominique Strauss-Kahn”

    So that’s who Remy’s talking about in Raise the Debt Ceiling.

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