Regulation

Saturday Is Lemonade Freedom Day!

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August 20 is Lemonade Freedom Day! In response to a rash of kids' lemonade stands shut down for lack of licenses, permits, or other bureaucratic devices, father-of-two Robert Fernandes launched a site to promote a big citrusy celebration this Saturday. So go find some young 'uns and get ready to help them set up a lemonade stand for liberty.

His site also includes these helpful tips for lemonade stands under threat

  • Always be respectful of any officials, follow their instructions even if they are wrong, and do not antagonize them.
  • Ask what is the statute or regulation that gives them the authority to shut down the stand, and what are the grounds for doing so.
  • Ask if the law or regulation specifically empowers them to shut down the stand or merely issue tickets for violations, especially a first violation.
  • Ask the officer if there are any exceptions in the rule for businesses owned and operated by minors, or businesses that earn below a certain amount (which may be referred to in the law or regulations as "de minimus").
  • Ask to see the law or regulation.
  • Get the officer's name and badge number, or if not a police officer, the official's name, agency or department, and job title.
  • If possible, record the entire interaction on video (even if just a cell phone). *Please be aware of your state's laws in regards to recording public officials. In some states it may be illegal.*
  • Do not offer the officials anything (including free lemonade) to overlook the violation.
  • Again, always be respectful of any officials, follow their instructions even if they are wrong, and do not antagonize them.

Below the tips, he mentions that a Colorado lawyer has volunteered to represent kids who get in trouble. Of course, helpful anarchists have served the same purpose in Portland.

For freedom bonus points, why not let older kids man the stand without adult supervision for a while?

No access to your own embryonic capitalists? Go find a kid to buy from, even if they're selling lukewarm Crystal Light! The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with subpar beverages.

Follow the event on Twitter, or join on Facebook.

NEXT: Is Ron Paul Getting the Coverage He Deserves?

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  1. You can ask that shit all you want, but I’m still going to fuck you over.

    It’s what I do.

    1. i like the way you think. can i subscribe to your newsletter?

      1. Funny, aren’t you the editor?

        1. Yes he is! That’s the ticket!

          1. Again, always be respectful of any officials

            Um, Kathy, you do know that you are addressing libertarians, the most disrespectful people on the planet?

            1. Mmmm, you do realize that expecting other people to think for themselves and be responsible for themselves is more respect than any politician can imagine, right?

            2. Again, always be respectful of any officials

              Doesn’t he realize that doing the things on his list, like asking them questions regarding the law (they aren’t experts!) and their authority, is their very definition of being disrespectful?

              1. I thought it was hilarious, saying don’t antagonize the cops, followed by a bunch of things they say to ask the cops which will antagonize them.

                Have they never interacted with police before?

  2. When life gives you lemons, go down to your county courthouse, locate the appropriate department, request and fill out the relevant application forms, pay the licensing fees, wait for the license to be approved and mailed to you, and make lemonade!

    1. You forgot to submit to your mandatory health and safety inspections! Go back to “Start”.

    2. You forgot to affix calorie and nutrition labels to your signboard! Go back to “Start”.

    3. You forgot to build an ADA-approved egress to your stand from the sidewalk as well as an adequately marked fire safety plan. Go back to “Start.”

    4. You forgot to ask life for a second batch of lemons to replace the first batch that became horribly rotten while waiting for the license.

    5. you’re not planning on hiring children for this operation, are you?

    6. Your workforce is not large enough to reflect the demographic diversity required by the government based upon government-made-up categories of people. Go back to “Start”.

    7. The knives you used to slice the lemons aren’t OSHA approved kitchen devices! Go back to “Start”.

    8. You forgot to apply for a state sales tax ID. Go directly to jail. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200.

  3. which may be referred to in the law or regulations as “de minimus”

    De minimis non curat lex (“The law does not concern itself with trifles”). Ablative case, morons.

  4. kinda ironic since im going to a pig roast on sat

    1. A retiring policeman has nothing to do with lemonade stands, double sphincter.

      1. oh im not gonna eat any of it ive already filled up on dogshit

  5. Does wetting my pants and crying like a little girl count as “antagonize”?

    1. No. However, it does make you easier to tase.

      1. Urine! It’s got the electrolytes cops crave.

  6. Geez, this Lemonade stuff is getting enough coverage for a regulation that will never be overturned.

  7. I honestly get that the point of this is to make the authorities look like dicks, but if some cop or official is wrong, you have every right to tell them to go fuck themselves.

    1. One has that right irrespective of whether the statist is wrong. Chances are though, the statist will be wrong.

  8. Even if the kid is tazed/killed, they get to act as if theywere free. The fact of the matter is (given the advice of the author) children will respect authoritah!

    1. At least she died doing something she loved. She tried to help others. I’m sure we all learned something today.

      1. She wasn’t helping others, she was a speculative profiteer, pushing her unsafe foodstuffs on an unsuspecting public.

        This is why we need a department of consumer safety.

        1. I thought that’s what I said.

  9. In about 12 years I want to attend the Miss Anarchy pageant featuring all these extremely cute vendors. (I’ll be age 80.)

    1. You’ve been a frustrated anarchist for 68 years? That must suck for you.

      1. Want to hep me across the street, whippersnapper?

        1. I’ll help you in front of that approaching bus. How’s that?

  10. “For freedom bonus points, why not let older kids toddlers man the stand without adult supervision for a while?”

    Oh, and MOAR screen caps like this one!!!!!!

  11. I’ve got bad news for Mr. Fernandes.

    Almost everything he says to do will antagonize the cop.

    If you ain’t submittin’, you’re antagonizin’. Which is next door to resisting.

  12. August 20 is also my birthday as well as Ron Paul’s, ample reason to celebrate. I, however, will endulge in drinking Great Divide’s oak aged yeti stout, St Bernardus Tripel, and Pliny the Elder instead of lemonade.

    1. I love the St. Bernardus. I don’t care that it’s stupid expensive, I’m getting some tonight (hurr). Also, have a very happy birthday!

  13. If you ain’t submittin’, you’re antagonizin’.

    1. Perhaps, perhaps. . . .

  14. Ahhh, the Revolution will have cold beverages.

  15. I saw an awesome stand run by little kids one summer: they had a tattoo stand using temporary tattoos!

    1. *SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREN!!!!*

      Cops #1-#74: “PUT DOWN THE TEMPTATTS AND WATER AND TAKE THREE…STEPS….BACK!!!”

      Cop#75: “Can I please see your Personal Medical exam report, State Tatt Master Certification form, City of Buttfuck Temporary Tatt Parlor license…..”

      Kid: “MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!”

      Hmm – the kid sounds a lot like Max.

  16. “And how we burned in the camps later, thinking: What would things have been like if every Security operative, when he went out at night to make an arrest, had been uncertain whether he would return alive and had to say good-bye to his family? Or if, during periods of mass arrests, as for example in Leningrad, when they arrested a quarter of the entire city, people had not simply sat there in their lairs, paling with terror at every bang of the downstairs door and at every step on the staircase, but had understood they had nothing left to lose and had boldly set up in the downstairs hall an ambush of half a dozen people with axes, hammers, pokers, or whatever else was at hand?… The Organs would very quickly have suffered a shortage of officers and transport and, notwithstanding all of Stalin’s thirst, the cursed machine would have ground to a halt! If…if…We didn’t love freedom enough. And even more ?we had no awareness of the real situation…. We purely and simply deserved everything…

  17. Some kids near my country corner had a coffee stand out for about a month. It is country too so it wasn’t just outside their front doors. I thought “good for them!” My wife bought coffee from them in the morning on the way to work. I’m just not usually awake enough to communicate with other humans at that time.

  18. …that only the kids who get busted make the news? That there are thousands of uncelebrated, unmolested, undistinguished lemonade stands across the country, run by children, that don’t evoke as much as a yawn from “the authorities”? That ones that do draw attention are isolated incidents?*

    *Trick question. Only isolated incidents make the news. That’s why they call it “news.”

    1. And nothing else happened?

    2. It’s that even one incident like this is intolerable.

      Disingenuous state apologist badly feigns not getting it.

      1. Maybe you’re too sensitive. Hug?

    3. It seems to happen every fuckin’ summer where I live….

  19. Now remember kids: Everything for the State, Nothing outside the State, Nothing against the State.

  20. Hey Katherine, shouldn’t you be down at Fox Business dissing Ron Paul and doing your best to make him sound crazy?

    Cunt.

    1. I see you ate lunch at the Turd Buffet.

    2. At least she didn’t endorse a social safety net like Gillespie and Welch did on Milt Rosenberg’s show.

    3. Oooh, what happened? Did one of editors here betray the cult?

  21. Saturday Is Lemonade Freedom Day!

    How about:

    “Buy a Bureaucrat a Cup of Coffee but Piss in it First Day”?

  22. Remember, once you’ve exhausted all normal avenues of bureaucratic negotiation, bust out some Cave Johnson lemons and start some real progress.

  23. I’m glad the important issues of the day are being tackled by this magazine.

    1. DRINK!!!!

    2. Coming soon: The Great Snapple Conspiracy!

  24. Bonus points for antagonizing the tin Hitler that comes to cock block your kids’ lemonade stand.

  25. Now remember kids: Everything for the State, Nothing outside the State, Nothing against the State.
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  26. You realize any argument that says THE CHILRUNS!11 shouls be able to operate a lemonade stand free from regulations or government scrutiny would equally apply to some shlub operating a lunch wagon or hot dog cart?

    I say get rid of all the regulations and permitting (since there shouldn’t even be an income tax, which is ultimately the point of needing to register and license your biz).

    But until then spare me the POOR LIL CHILRUNS ARE BEING SHUT DOWN BY BIG MEAN OLE COPS. CHILRUNS!!! CHILLLLLRRRUUUUUNNNS!!1111 FFS.

  27. Wow… Thank you very much, Bureaucracy… You know how to look out for us… We don’t know whether these kids are planning to poison America or drive an airplane into a building.

  28. Well, you know it doesn’t look good to have twelve-year olds with more business experience than the president.

  29. “BoscoH|8.18.11 @ 2:44AM Bonus points for antagonizing the tin Hitler that comes to cock block your kids’ lemonade stand.”

    Unless the tin Hitler is from a private corporation.

    According to the Gospel of Ayn Rand, privatized tin Hitler must be obeyed.

    1. Gee, I’ve never met any private corporation tin Hitlers. Only the kind that you shill for.

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