Barack Obama

Can the Nation Survive Any More Pivoting to Jobs?


Joe Nocera gets another column idea

Here's what passes for elite opinion about job creation, from the New York Times' Joe Nocera (in a column hi-fived, inevitably, by Jacob Weisberg):

Someone suggested to me recently that the government could create a $50 billion fund for small business, and use it to pay, say, 20 percent of the wages of new hires for two years — first come, first served. Why doesn't Obama suggest something like that?

The only economic advice I could imagine more finger-painty than that would be if, I dunno, a bunch of Van Jones types came up with some new B.S. "Contract For the American Dream" thingie. What's that you say?

If by "America," you mean "Van Jones," then sure.

On Monday afternoon, and Rebuild the Dream announced a campaign to build up a popular movement that could match (if not surpass) the debt reduction crowd in both size and energy. And they have borrowed a concept from former House Speaker Newt Gingrich (R-Ga.) as their organizing principle.

The campaign, led by Van Jones, President of Rebuild the Dream; Justin Ruben, Executive Director of; and Rep. Jan Schakowsky (D-Ill.), among others, is debuting a new Contract for the American Dream. They describe it as "a progressive economic vision crafted by 125,000 Americans…to get the economy back on track." Its debut will involve a nationwide day of action, as well as an ad in The New York Times to run sometime this week, organizers said.

The basic premise of the campaign is that America isn't broke, it's merely imbalanced. In order to stabilize the economy, politicians should make substantial investments in infrastructure, energy, education and the social safety net, tax the rich, end the wars, and create a wider revenue base through job creation.

Whole downloadable pile here.

And that's why the stimulus created so many jobs in Los Angeles. The end.

Katherine Mangu-Ward blogged about the "pivot-to-jobs" nonsense yesterday, though in fairness that subject has been a daily beat since at least the financial crisis of 2008. Why, here's Nick Gillespie in December of that year, reacting to a bunch of phoney-baloney shovel-ready jobs being promised by Our Nation's Mayors, if only there was a stimulus to fund them:

When the history of this awful moment of bailout hysteria is written, there'll be a chapter or 20 on the complete bogosity of what might call "the infrastructure flim-flam"—the idea that government can boostrap the economy out its funk by hiring two guys to dig a hole and a couple more to fill it in.

I hope that goes on Joe Biden's tombstone

Remember that $26 billion jobs bill from one year ago? Of course you don't. How about the White House's "Jobs Summit" in December 2009? Ditto. "Recovery Through Retrofit"? No really, that happened. (The slogan, I mean.)

How much has Rep. Nancy Pelosi (D-San Francisco) been focusing on jobs? So much that by January 2010 already the then-House Speaker was saying stuff like "The jobs issue has permeated every major initiative that we have." Katherine Mangu-Ward took a survey of Pelosi's relentless job-pivotry in March 2010.

By Pelosi's accounting, the health care bill is jam packed with new jobs. In her standard sales pitch, Pelosi emphasized that the bill was "about jobs. In its life it will create 4 million jobs, 400,000 jobs almost immediately." Apparently those first 400,000 were supposed to spring full-formed from her gavel once the vote tally was complete [….] While those jobs were invisible to the naked eye on CSPAN, they'll be showing up in the March unemployment figures no doubt.

On the floor of the House in June, as the climate change bill was being debated, Pelosi promised that the bill would create "millions of new jobs" and urged her colleagues to vote aye: "And when you do, just remember these four words for what this legislation means: jobs, jobs, jobs, and jobs." She even provided a fancy infographic on her blog, The Gavel. And when it comes to the nation's energy future, those new jobs aren't just any jobs: They're green. While on the campaign trail Obama claimed he could create 5 million "green collar" jobs, a figure he later scaled back to a vague claim of "millions." Pelosi continues to go whole hog, claiming we are on track to create 4 million jobs.

And that's why labor participation is the highest its been since 1983. Or, you know, the opposite.

"It's all about the jobs," she declared in December, before a Copenhagen audience that didn't give two hoots about America's unemployment woes. (Pelosi isn't alone in her obsession. Democratic Sen. John Kerry of Massachusetts, a co-sponsor of the Waxman-Markey climate change bill, also said "Our bill is essentially a jobs bill.") […]

But wait, there's more! The stimulus bill created 2 million jobs by the accounting of Pelosi's team. Well, make that "created or saved" which is where things start to get slippery. Pelosi's post-passage estimate was closer to 3.5 million, but since much of the stimulus money isn't yet spent, there's time yet to reach that goal.

We are misgoverned and talked down to daily by people who believe–no matter how much wreckage to the contrary washes up at their feet–that "jobs" is a thing that comes as a direct result of the federal government spending more money. Recent history suggests very strongly that whatever legislation or rulemaking comes out of Washington as a result of this lates Jobsapalooza will not improve the nation's lousy job market one bit.

NEXT: Guns, Laws, and Panics - How Fear, Not Fact, Informs the Gun Rights Debate

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  1. By this same logic, a perpetual motion machine would solve our energy needs.

    1. Well according to all those bright, young liberal arts / idiot-studies grads – the only reason we don’t have it because engineering types aren’t thinking creatively enough.

      1. Reality is merely the subjective construct of the majority. If enough of us believed in perpetual motion and in jobs, we’d have both.

        1. Reminds me of the PKD quote:

          “Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn’t go away.”

        2. You like sound like a post-modern Tinkerbell.

          1. I can fly! I can fly!

          2. Hey, apparently Tinkerbell was an engineer/inventor. Lay off.

      2. According to the Democrats it’s because the Koch brothers are paying people not to build one.

        1. Damn those corporations and their evil, fictional ways!

          1. I, for one, welcome our new fictional overlords.

            1. “PRESENT!”

    2. If those stupid Laws of Thermodynamics weren’t in play, sure. Also, magic would be viable in such a universe. So obviously, we should get right on this.

      1. Simple enough to repeal those laws. I’m sure the president would sign such a repeal.

        1. King Canute would approve.

        2. This should be in the Dept of Energy’s wheelhouse. Obama can just sign an executive order.

  2. Here is the recipe for job creation.

    Step one: collect money through taxation and the selling of bonds to investors.

    Step two: forget step one happened.

    Step three: now that people have less money to spend or save, and investors have invested in bonds what they might have invested in small businesses or put into a bank, complain that people aren’t spending and saving money, that investors aren’t investing in small businesses, and that banks don’t have loanable funds.

    Step four: after skimming off the top to pay government employees, use the remainder of that money collected in step one to fund politically connected banks and businesses.

    Step five: when jobs are not created, return to step one.

      1. Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy.

        –Sir Ernest John Pickstone Benn

        1. Now that is a quote for the ages.

        2. You forgot the part about demanding more funds when the original plan fails miserably.

          1. –Sir Ernest forgot that part.

            I covered it in step five.

          2. An important part of step 5: Blame the failure on the free market, deregulation, “greed”, and anything else that is the exact opposite of what you really did.

    1. Damn. That could be my sig for awhile.

    2. That’s good enough I had to read it twice. Going to put it up on the LP page for my local party.

      1. I’m trying to distill Keynesian economics into a simple absurdity.
        This is the best I have come up with so far.

        1. Sort of like a unified theory of stupidity

    3. Ha ha, very nice. I might revise step five to : “when jobs are not created, simply claim that x million jobs were ‘created or saved’ based on the output of models that assume this result” and then make “return to step one” step six.

    4. Step five: when jobs are not created, return to step one.

      That should read, “Step five: when jobs are not created, claim that not enough money was spent in the initial deficit-driven spending plan.

      “Step six: Return to step one.”

  3. I wonder what the effect of Nocera’s “idea” would be in real terms. Assuming people took it up, would it result in wage inflation or deflation? I’m thinking deflation as more people are hired at a 20% discount (to the company), there is little incentive to provide raises. In fact, there is great incentive to FIRE current employees and hire new ones, making the whole plan a wash at best.

    1. That’s not an idea. It’s just a slightly different way to borrow and spend. In other words: more of the same. It is now completely obvious that the left is out of ideas.

  4. America is not broke!

    This is possibly a true statement, if you take into consideration non-liquid assets that can be sold for cash.

    Not holding my breath on that one. Can you imagine the lefty and national-greatness screech-fest if the feds tried to sell a single national park?

    1. as i said on a nationa parks thread – the national park system must be immediately turned over to the kochs for strip-mining, mountian top removal, deforestation, fracking, poaching endangered species, and toxic waste dumping.

      1. so that’s how the wealthy [JOBZ] creators create [JOBZ] !

      2. Re: OO,

        as i said on a nationa parks thread – the national park system must be immediately turned over to the kochs for strip-mining, mountian top removal, deforestation, fracking, poaching endangered species, and toxic waste dumping.

        Why the Koch’s? Why not to me? Fuck you! I want them all!

        1. Back off, OM! I called dibs on the Grand Canyon years ago.

          1. I called dibs on the Grand Canyon years ago.

            Fine way to talk about the First Lady.

            1. Let me be clear.

              OK, I LOLed at that.

            2. Oh god…just puked…a little…and swallowed it…oh sweet bastard jesus…

      3. Kochs rape Mother Parks?

        1. By the sacred name of Buffy-Sainte Marie: STOP MOCKING ME!!!

          1. Maize. What your people call “porn.”

            [::jams corn cob up slot::]

          2. Maize. What your people call “porn.”

            [::jams corn cob up slot::]

    2. He’s not talking about national parks.
      He’s talking about evil rich people.
      He is saying that evil rich people have wealth, that wealth can be magically converted into money, and it is the role of government to do so, and then distribute that money to those who truly deserve it (the audience).

      “The first lesson of economics is scarcity: There is never enough of anything to satisfy all those who want it. The first lesson of politics is to disregard the first lesson of economics.”
      -Thomas Sowell

      1. Thomas Sowell is my hero, seriously.

      2. Daaaaaaaaad. I need some money to go out tonight.

      3. It will be very hard waiting for my 1/100th of a an antique table owned by Bill Gates.

    3. You needn’t even go all the way to National Park. All you have to do is suggest that the feds sell a 1 acre lot in the middle of Asshole, WY and the left would be up in arms.

      1. Asshole, WY

        Why make up a shit hole town when there are plenty of perfectly real ones… like Battle Mountain, NV.

        1. Why make up a shit hole town when there are plenty of perfectly real ones…

          Please don’t leave out Gary, IN or Newark, NJ. They might not be in the middle of bumfuck, but if something is going to be sold and turned into parking lots, it should be those cities. What? I don’t care if they aren’t owned by the government! Those blights of existence should be wiped off the map!

    4. You’ve misunderstood us, not talking about government assets. We mean all the wealth in the U.S. belongs to the government. We can’t be broke so long as any one of you has little cash.

  5. O/T:

    The voice of community activism extortionism in the still churning wake of rioting in London as seen on CNN’s front page:…..?hpt=hp_c2

    1. Haringey Young People Empowered

      I had to double check that it wasn’t actually The Onion. Sadly it was not.

      1. Oh lord. I know I don’t want to read the linked article, but I just can’t resist.

  6. Why does Nocera even think that the proposed $50 billion has to be for a “job”? Why doesn’t he just say “we should give unemployed people $50 billion and then they will spend this money thus stimulating the economy!”

    Is there really a difference?

    (+1 on the finger painting alt-text, btw- best in days)

    1. I still think that the stimulus might have worked if they just took $700 billion in hundred dollar bills and threw it out of helicopters flying over populated areas.

      1. No opportunity for graft.

        1. You underestimate me, sir.

  7. The innovation and risk-taking that is needed to create productive jobs and get the world back on track once again will never occur until the failed European Union dissolves, and the most anti-business president in American history is safely out of office forever. Period, end of story.

    1. Don’t forget Japan finally being on the wrong end of a trade imbalance and unable to finance its HA-YUGE debt.

      1. Yeah, as Americans huddle around oil drum fires in the thin years of the 2020s (assuming our current crop of asshole politicans dodge the current reality bullets), I will only wonder about the dystopic Akira-esque zombie infested hell-world that will be the Neo-Nippon as I carve up my sick dog and feed it to starving children who will ask me about the wonders of electricty, automobiles, pop-tarts, McDonalds, and internet pornography. As I tell them of the glories of plasticine women getting fucked on camera, the images will warm them while we await the coming of the sentient ice bear hordes –and our resultant deaths.

        1. Where do the ice bears stand on entitlements?

  8. NO
    What we need is for the sainted President to give a national speach and encourage people to “Eat their peas and GET BACK TO FUCKING WORK so I can be reelected.” Then he falls on the ground weeping.

  9. The basic premise of the campaign is that America isn’t broke, it’s merely imbalanced.

    These guys are getting their economic cues from Alfred Lawson

    By Pelosi’s accounting, the health care bill is jam packed with new jobs.

    Yes: Staffing those cleaning crews required to pick up Nancy’s bullshit will be a full time job in and on itself.

    1. I hear she poops, like, all day long.

      1. The possibility of her pooping all day long is an absolute fart, uh, fact.

        1. If I don’t, then how can you ever find out what’s in it…?

          1. And all the flowers cover the smell.

  10. “Hey, let’s give business owners money to hire people!”

    “Where are we going to get the money to do that?”

    “Tax those evil rich business owners, duh!”

  11. In order to stabilize the economy, politicians should make substantial investments in infrastructure, energy, education and the social safety net

    “Spending” becomes “investment” through the lens of perpetual spin.

    tax the rich, end the wars, and create a wider revenue base through job creation.

    Ditch-digging and filling so we can broad the tax base… Yeah, sounds plausible.

  12. “a progressive economic vision crafted by 125,000 Americans…to get the economy back on track.”

    Amazingly that focus group produced only one page of platitudes. I didn’t think it would clock in under 10.

  13. They’re creating jobs all right.

    There’s at least 2 new jobs I’ll have to work through my late 70s just to pay for all their different schemes.

    1. Yeah…late 70s…sure…

      (Clumisly hides government documents emblazoned with the phrase “Code Name: Soylent Green”)

  14. They describe it as “a progressive economic vision crafted by 125,000 Americans…to get the economy back on track.”

    How about enabling an economic vision crafted by about 310 million Americans: Stop trying to fucking help and just get out of the way.

    1. a progressive economic vision crafted by 125,000 Americans

      Having visions is barely one rung above succumbing to the voices in one’s head on the public policy ladder.

  15. Create jobs? Liberals wouldn’t know a job if came over and smacked their copy of The Nation out of their hands.

    1. Aren’t the more liberal the states the most economically dynamic?

      1. Like Texas.

      2. Aren’t the more liberal the states the most economically dynamic?

        That sound you hear in the distance is Detroit, MI, laughing bitterly.

      3. If by economically dynamic you mean drowning in public sector debt and hamstrung by licensing laws and environmental regulation, then yes.

        1. I was gonna say

        2. *crickets*

        3. You’re supposed to use wingdings.

          1. ugh, supposed to be @Alan Scott…fucking squirrels!

      4. Aren’t the more liberal the states the most economically dynamic?

        That theory is working great for Ca.

      5. I’d settle for economically stable.

      6. Like the others said, they may be “economically dynamic” now, whatever that means, but we’ll see how long that last.

        Also, if by “dynamic”, you mean overpriced cities with egalitarian mayors stuffed with government related employees that frequented overextended Starkbucks, Borders Books, and Cold Stone chains then I think the writing is on the wall.

  16. “I know that there are limits to what any government can do to create jobs.” – Joe Nocera, directly before the excerpt

    $50b is basically nothing in the federal budget anymore, and you get the feeling he doesn’t think his idea would even really work. In some sense, I have mroe respect for Krugs et al. for making big, albeit incredibly bad, proposals. This guy doesn’t even really believe his own politics.

  17. Seems like all these job creation schemes are dreamed up by people who have not created a single private sector job in their entire life.

    1. Our job creation schemes would have worked if it hadn’t been for you meddling kids.

  18. Basically as long as there is another dollar left in the country to steal, people like Van Jones will never see the government as being broke.

    You have to remember these people have no idea how wealth is created. They look at wealth as some kind of magical thing that happens to rich people. In their minds it is as if the top two or three percent of the population fart golden eggs and will continue to do so forever. So, there is no reason why we shouldn’t take those eggs for the benefit of those who don’t fart them.

    1. Hey, it’s not farting.

    2. I don’t shit gold. Just ask Tyrion.

      1. Yes! Just finished that book.

      2. Where do whores go?

      3. Where do whores go?

        1. Congress.

  19. Here’s a neat graph that shows the debt by which administration it was accumulated under, and it’s color coded by party of each administration. It ain’t pretty for the Red Team:


    1. Let me be clear.

      I’ll be using that chart in my re-election tour.

      1. Good luck in the Libyan primary, that’s one of them “battleground” states.

        1. Let me be clear.

          I’ll just blame Libya on Dubya.

          1. We thought you were going to get us out of Libya. Damn that Bushitler.

        2. Did we win yet?

          1. Not quite yet. There are still a few live ones left out there, somewhere.

            1. Not for long.


              1. Now, that’s just tacky.

                1. Glad somebody said it.

    2. Why is 2009 red?

      Why is 2001 blue?

      But yes, agreed, Team Red sucks ass.

      1. Because Team Blue is mad that for about 2 years, they were actually the “fiscally responsible” Team, but Obama screwed it all up. So all the things that Obama didn’t “change”, they are trying to still blame on Team Red.

      2. Thanks for asking, I was wondering.

    3. Here’s a neat graph

      Good thinking, lad! Just the thing to take folks’ minds off of my catastrophic economic record, as well as my sadistic tendencies towards helpless, innocent Libyan babies!

      You remind me of a young Timmy Geithner. He was a real “go-getter,” too.

      1. Yeah! He’s even smarter than ME, even!

        1. Well, that’s setting the bar rather low, isn’t it?

          1. My Secret Service code name is “The Man in the Yellow Hat.” Do you think that’s funny? ‘Cause the agents assigned to me always snicker whenever they say it, for some reason.

    4. Funny, those numbers don’t match the OMB numbers. I get 4.2T for Bush and 3.6T for Obama. Admiitedly, it’s somewhat speculative since it goes to YE 2011, but still.

    5. To see all the blue you have to show who controlled congress.

    6. And yet we still haven’t paid down our national debt since 1957! Imagine that!


    Interesting note to the Van Jones Cloward Piven Leftists who dream of having riots in the US like the ones going on in Europe right now.

    1. ” the Van Jones Cloward Piven Leftists”

      Someone went to Beck U

      1. No dipshit, someone actually read a book before the year 2000. I guess because Leftists are idiots who never read and get their ideas and politics from cult like figures, they assume everyone else is the same.

        Jones was a nobody. But Cloward Piven were pretty well known before Beck got a hold of them. Are you really so stupid and misinformed that you didn’t know who they were before Beck started bitching about them?

        1. You forgot to put Soros in there

          1. derp derp derp derp

      2. Beck U’s going to have a sweet football team this year: The Caliphate

        1. I hear Obama College is going with the more dynamic Original Kings of Stool.

    2. I don’t know what’s sexier, Blondie or all that beautiful full-auto hardware.

      These shows do us a bit of a disservice by not noting how fucking hard it is to legally own Class 3 toys, though. The average idiot watches this and thinks he can pick himself up a minigun at Gander Mountain.

      1. Very true. I wonder how that many people have class three licenses. And the blond is devastatingly cute. In my next life, I would like to be in charge of the G4 casting couch.

        1. It’s not really that hard to get one, as long as you live in a place with a gun-friendly police chief or sheriff who will sign off on it, and assuming it’s legal in your state.

          The constrained supply is the real difficulty. You need then be prepared to shell out, what, $20K for an M16A1? I don’t know how insane prices have gotten lately. Fuck you, Frank Lautenberg, you cuntdrip fucking zombie.

          1. Even getting a decent semi automatic rifle an M1 or an M14 (which were illegal for a while under the assault weapons ban because M14 could be fully automatic) is in the thousands.

            And yeah, there should be a special ring of hell for that old bastard Lautenberg and every Jersey Shore retard who ever voted for him.

      2. How about blondie firing the beautiful hardware?

        1. “God bless America!”

    3. Are those tea party terrorists still burning London?

    4. “God Bless America!”

      That’s not what I meant!

  21. Yes, we have no bananas, we have no bananas today.

  22. I hate the whole idea of “creating jobs.” No one does this. No one wants to do this. This is not even a thing that should be considered. When your business is growing and you need more people, you are not “creating jobs” you are staffing at the correct level in order to meet demand. How does one arrive in a situation wherein demand is high enough to require more staff? Do or make something that people want or need. Since the government fucking sucks at doing or making anything that people want or need, maybe they should SHUT THE FUCK UP about “jobs.”

    You know who else can shut right the fuck up about “America needs jobs” is the fucking real estate lobby. Their commercial about how for every two homes sold, one job is “created” is offensively stupid.

    1. You keep using the F word and you’ll be downgraded from “beloved commenter” status.

      1. Fuck you.

      2. Fuck Fuck Fuckity Fuck Fuck Fuck

    2. Their commercial about how for every two homes sold, one job is “created” is offensively stupid.

      I saw that commercial and thought “OMG we’re drowning in stupid”.

    3. I thought that ad was a mirage or some symptom of sleep deprivation. Holy fuck I wanted to wretch the first time I heard it.

  23. Obama thinks he’s doing a great job, cuz he got an AA+

  24. The really comical thing is that Nocera and Weinberg are so ill-informed that they don’t realize that those incentives already exist and it doesn’t make any difference.

    Between the Work Opportunity Tax Credit, various hiring incentive training grants that the feds funnel to the states, and direct payments to employers for on-the-job training programs (with the funding again funneled to the states from the feds, either through national emergency grants or via the Trade Adjustment Assistance Act) you can already EASILY get 20% of the cost of your new hire subsidized by the feds.

    If paying employers subsidies to hire the unemployed would cure unemployment, there would already be no unemployment.

  25. It’s comical, but at the same time it’s annoying that the people bitching the most about what they want the federal government to do appear to have no idea what the federal government already does.

    1. What is comical is that they don’t seem to understand that you have to have something for those people to do and a way to expand your business for those incentives to mean anything. They really think the way to solve a problem is just have the government pay more people.

      1. “They really think the way to solve a problem is just have the government pay more people.”

        That bugs me to no end. It’s a complete misunderstanding of what “job creation” is. “job creation” is a product of the economic growth of private enterprise. Period. You have not “created a job” by paying someone who was previously unemployed to dig a hole in the ground.

        1. They haven’t changed in 70 years. Back when the old Soviet Union still existed, liberals would routinely point to how the Soviet Union had such low unemployment compared to the capitalist countries. The fact that the people in the Soviet Union often had “jobs” that either didn’t produce anything or produced something of less value than the inputs (the Soviets actually managed to manufacture assembled products like cars that were worth less than their value in scrap) and thus might has well have been on welfare, never entered the liberals’ head. Good luck explaining that to a liberal. “But everyone has a job in the USSR. Isn’t that better than here?”

          1. I’m reminded of visiting China in 2001 and all the touristy bars and restaurants were packed with workers standing around doing nothing.

            Or East Germany in 1986 where they forced you to buy a sizable amount of Ostmarks on the way in – but the punchline was there was nothing you wanted to spend it on.

            1. China in 2011 isn’t much different in that regard. At one bar, for every customer, there were two employees standing around doing jack. Dance clubs are full of girls…but the girls work for the bar, so in actuality, there are no girls to really meet for a native or foreigner alike (one-child policy aint helping here either). Moreover, most of the english speaking kids held these types of jobs, obviously wasting a lot of potential (not unlike people with master’s in bullshit working as bartenders in the US). In a way, it reminded me of walking into Best Buy and seeing the lazy blue-shirt wearing high school fucks just dicking around instead of actually doing anything…but it was much worse. That said, the Chinese know how to save a buck, and it won’t be surprising if that type of cultural behavior helps them dominate us like the prissied up aging whore we are becoming. I, for one, will welcome our spendthrift overlords…from a cabin in Patagonia.

          2. Well, in this particular instance I was struck by the lack of program knowledge in the pundit class.

            We laugh at their economic illiteracy all the time, but I think in this case we’re dealing with something that goes beyond the Soviet example you cite.

            These are people who are paid to comment on what they think the federal government should do, and they’re spending their time today talking about how much they wish the feds would start doing something they already do.

            Because apparently having no idea what federal programs already exist is no barrier to getting a job writing about what programs you think should exist.

            It’s as if one of them wrote a column calling for the nation to rally around a brand new federal program to “finally” put a man on the moon.

            1. No way… that’s great… WE LANDED ON THE MOON!

            2. We laugh at their economic illiteracy all the time, but I think in this case we’re dealing with something that goes beyond the Soviet example you cite.

              The problem is that people who actually think like these fools are in charge of the government at several levels, from the President all the way down to the third-tier desk clerk in your local municipality, instead of in the local loony bin.

        2. It’s a complete misunderstanding of what “job creation” is. “job creation” is a product of the economic growth of private enterprise.


      2. They really think the way to solve a problem is just have the government pay more people.

        Fuck it. Drop wads of freshly printed bills out of a helicopter. Got Hefty?

  26. Hey, we have a great idea for “creating” jobs! Let’s have the government borrow many billions — trillions, even — and spend it!

    1. You know what, we could hire people to count all the jobs we’re creating.

      1. Even better. Let’s pass a law making the work week 20 hours long. Half the hours means twice the workers.

    2. I have a cunning plan. Borrow one infinity of dollars, then default on it. With that much money, we’d never need to borrow again, so default won’t matter at all. Problem solved for all eternity! And no more taxation will be needed, either!

      1. Great idea. One problem: one infinity dollars would only last us a few months, and we fear it is not suffciently large to get the economy going again. Make it five infinity dollars, and you’ve got a grand bargain there my friend.

        1. Oh, and tax the rich.

        2. You know what? I do even better than that–make it ten infinity dollars!

          1. Now you are talking. Aggregate demand, prepare to be stimulated!

            1. With ten infinity dollars, we could do anything!

              I can’t believe no one ever thought of this before.

              1. We can only hope that the rich do not disproprtionately benefit from the 10 infinity dollars. If they do, we can even things out by spending a few more infinities.

                1. There won’t be rich people anymore, because every American will be an infinitaire!

                  1. For that the USG would have to borrow 300,000,000 infinities.

                    Yes we can!

      2. Convert all ships in the US Navy to oar power. Do you have any idea the number of oarsman it would take to propel an aircraft carrier?

        1. Trains. A technology whose time has come.

          1. Better yet,

            Mule drawn barges.

            In hand dug canals.

        2. I do.

          1. So you are the other person who watched that whole movie?

            1. ….No…there are at least 3 of us…[Takes a stiff drink]

        3. Ramming Speed!!

      3. Excellent plan. With that much money available, businesses would be able to increase the price of their products, make more money, and create new jobs at higher wages. It’s perfect!

        1. I’m writing my congressman right now!

      4. We can store all that money in Hilbert’s Hotel.

  27. Why hasn’t anyone offered any original ideas on how to get the economy going? If we could just convince the government to invest a large sum of money into game changing ideas, such as new forms of energy, or a nationwide network of mass transportation, all of our problems would be solved.

    1. Haven’t I seen you on the Sunday morning talk shows? Is that you Mr. Friedman?

      1. We would have also accepted “Mr. Krugman”.

        1. You know what’s really new and innovative? CHOO-CHOO TRAINS — !!!

            1. I’ve heard through the grapevine that the buggy-whip industry is due for a resurgence.

    2. Even better…we could depose totalitarians overseas, murdering heaps of forgotten innocents in the process, and losing thousands of costly(equipment, training, transportation)American troops while paying a plethora of “camp followers” and mercenaries a shit-ton of made up money borrowed on our once good name. Heck, we’ll be so unwelcome after we’ve killed everyone’s cousin by design, accident, neglect, or unforseen consequences that it would take us at least 100 years to get anywhere near success. Can you imagine all the jobs regarding for such a boondoggly operation? Its staggering. We could win the future with such a new never-tested idea.

      Oh…but this won’t work if we kill white people.

  28. War is declared and battle come down

    I think it is important to dampen down some of the speculation circulating about our reports and tweets on vigilantes in Enfield.

    If there aren’t any vigilantes, England deserves what it gets.

    1. I’m everywhere … and nowhere.

    2. They allowed themselves to be disarmed. They already deserve what they get.

    3. It sucks that they banned swords in the UK. Because epic sword battles is what they need right now.

      1. That and lances. Let the gentry out into the cities on their chargers armed with lances. Run a few of the buggers through and that will put an end to it. That and a few long bows. Hell where do I sign up for this?

        1. Maybe we should invade the UK to liberate these people. Or just bomb it like in Libya. Are the rioters freedom fighters?

          1. Does demanding your welfare check make you a freedom fighter?

          2. Does demanding your welfare check make you a freedom fighter?

            1. They want freedom from work, so yes!

          3. Maybe we should invade the UK to liberate these people. Or just bomb it like in Libya.

            God, but I’ve got a raging boner right now!

          4. You know who else bombed the UK like in Libya?

            1. Amy Winehouse’s last tour…?

    4. Butterfinger550
      9 August 2011 9:33PM
      Evening all;

      Sky News are reporting that 50-70 young people are patrolling the streets in Enfield in an attempt to ward off possible rioters.

      Good on them.

      I have an Enfield. What a tragedy that a vigilante mob in Enfield can’t have any Enfields. Britain, you done fucked up.

      1. I am still convinced that most of the people who had any initiative or love of freedom in Britain died in the fields of Flanders and Normandy. All that is left now are the shirkers and their decedents. Britain is doomed.

        1. All the good Germans came to Freiamerika 150 years ago, so your idea is not too far-fetched.

          1. All the really adventurous, ambitious people split from Britain and Europe and came here over the last couple of centuries. Why do you think we remain so “ungovernable”?

      2. I like how the BBC has refused to talk about the race of the rioters because it’s “not relevant” but urgently wants their viewers`to know that the vigilantes are “whites with alcohol”.

        1. Britian’s not completely pozzed yet–sales of aluminum bats are up 6000%.


      3. CNN is blaming it on the merchants. “People are constantly bombarded with advertising and they see these shops full of goods they can’t afford and would like to buy”…..index.html

        1. CNN is blaming it on the merchants.

          “Host Body Solely to Blame for Raging Parasitic Infestation… Next, on CNN!”

            1. Now, that’s change you can really BELIEVE in, dammit!

              1. We want because we want because we want.

                ‘Sides: it’s a larf, innit…?

                1. The New UK Youth Ethos: straight out of a Gerald Kersh novel. Lovely.

                2. We want because we want because we want.

                  “Mr. President? Are you sitting down? I think I may have just stumbled upon the perfect slogan for our party, in next year’s elections — !”

                  1. it’s getting a test run in Wisconsin today.

            2. Wow–from Rorke’s Drift to this sad spectacle.

              1. “This is what we were made for! It is APE LAW!”

                  1. Mayor Nutter’s realtalk is about 15-20 years too late.

                    1. So, has someone killed Nutter yet?

        2. I’m constantly bombarded with images of beauty and sex, and see sidewalks filled with beautiful co-eds that wouldn’t give me the time of day. What else could I do, really, as disadvantaged as I am?

          I’m just glad that someone out there in the media gets it.


    5. I would have preferred it if the quote said “vigilantes with Enfields.”

  29. What we really need, is some new form of economic system that no longer depends on something as archaic as money, or property. Since everything would be commonly owned, the elected members of government would run everything. People would lend what ever abilities they had, to the production of goods and services. In exchange, everyone would have access to what ever they need.

    Why has no one ever thought of this before?

    1. What could go wrong?

    2. This sounds like it would require oil and gas, so we’re against it.

      1. Our government run, ownerless society has no time for for those who stand in the way of progress. Keep quite, or we’ll send you off to the Gulags.

        1. We’d rather you just kill us. The world is overpopulated anyway and we’d feel like we were doing our part for Gaia.

  30. The only thing that will fix the economy will be to allow the market to properly reallocate capital from housing and automobile manufacturing to other sectors.

    So far the politicians seem loathe to allow such things to take place. Rather than allow banks, and auto unions to take their much-deserved hits, that capital must continue to be locked up in dead instruments.

    1. Reallocation of capital? Unless the government does it, it must be heresy.

    2. I’d be happy if they just unloaded Maiden Lane I, II and III.

    3. Not listening!

      1. Don’t worry. After next year, you won’t have to.

        1. Two things:

          1) The GOP is far too stupid to put forth anyone who could beat me. Didn’t 2004 teach you anything? Just because the incumbent is bad doesn’t mean the other side won’t put forth someone worse.

          2) #1 doesn’t matter, because I’ll make sure I don’t lose, and won’t concede if I do. Yep, I think I’m gonna be around awhile.

          1. You still suck.

            1. Yes, but I also rule.

              1. and will for a long time.

                1. I met a traveller from an antique land,
                  Who said: `Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
                  Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
                  Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
                  And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
                  Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
                  Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
                  The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed.
                  And on the pedestal these words appear —
                  “My name is Ozymandias, king of kings:
                  Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!”
                  Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
                  Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
                  The lone and level sands stretch far away.’
                  Think about it.

                2. True dat.

  31. Social Banking!

    When you break down the arguments, these people are nothing more than neo-Greenbackers.


    In all fairness, Ms Brown does a fairly good job at recognizing and defining the problem. Unfortunately, she goes way off base with her “solution”.

  32. Fuck you, Frank Lautenberg, you cuntdrip fucking zombie.

    This cannot be repeated too often.

  33. urgently wants their viewers`to know that the vigilantes are “whites with alcohol”.

    I hope the “vigilantes are using the alcohol to set the rioters on fire.

  34. Everybody knows “employers” exist for the sole purpose of handing out paychecks on Friday afternoon.

    1. And for paying payroll taxes.

  35. Jobs . . . for the children.

    1. Oh, that’s hawt.

      1. That’s what she said!

        1. Actually, what I really said was: “For God’s sake, somebody please call Child Protection Services — NOW!!!”

          1. Man… nothing like tappin’ the same ass you used to sprinkle baby powder all over, am I right? Guys, back me up on this one…!

  36. I guess in retrospect it may not have been a great idea to announce on the BBC that all of Manchester’s cops were being shipped out to reinforce London.

    1. Too bad it wasn’t a feint.

  37. Why didn’t they just take the $800 billion in TARP funds, and send every family in America a check for $8,000 instead? Wouldn’t that have been a more effective stimulus?

    Why not just eliminate the federal income tax for a year? That’s only a $1,000 billion stimulus.

    1. The average person doesn’t know how to spend the money to get maximum growth return. The treasury department is full of highly skilled officials trained in spending money, so it’s best to leave it to them rather than to some guy in a trailer park who would probably just hand the money off to some corporation for NASCAR tickets or something.

      1. Buying NASCAR tickets would support a large number of jobs as long as they attended the events.

        1. But Rockin, fat, white, religious Republicans watch NASCAR. Obviously, we can’t trust them to breed let alone pay for entertainment they prefer. It would be better if we taught them the glories of global warming and fed them with lettuce at the point of a gun with that money .

      2. Assuming for the sake of argument that one accepts the Keynesian stimulus theory, isn’t all that money supposed to be given out to people with a high marginal propensity to consume, to push up the ol’ aggregate demand?

        How does giving piles of cash to Wall Street that they don’t lend out stimulate anything?

  38. I actually had a “pretty smart guy”(tm) say to me the other day that all the hoo-ha about the downgrade was just S&P paying the regulators back for criticising their failure to properly rate supercomplicated and obscure MBS products…

    the quote I think was, “I don’t like, know the numbers or anything, but I’m guessing all this criticism of government spending is just a bunch of teabaggers creating some kinda boogyman”

    I then showed him a chart showing debt levels and future spending obligations, and he was like, “yeah, statistics = people will use them to say *anything*…”

    I then realized the problem was bigger than just our debt.

    1. I then showed him a chart showing debt levels and future spending obligations, and he was like, “yeah, statistics = people will use them to say *anything*…”

      Does he still have that OBAMA/BIDEN bumper sticker on his car?

      1. God, I hate that shit. I hated when people had Bush/Cheney ’04 stickers well into 2007 as well. We get it, your guy won. And guess what? He’s a fucking piece of shit lying hypocrite.

        People with these bumper-stickers years after the proof of their messiah’s falsehood has manifested should be fucking ashamed of themselves.

    2. Progs have been using statistics to lie for generations, so the skepticism is actually encouraging.

    3. Progs have been using statistics to lie for generations, so the skepticism is actually encouraging.

    4. Progs have been using statistics to lie for generations, so the skepticism is actually encouraging.

  39. Maize. What your people call “porn.”

    [::jams corn cob up slot::]

  40. OK wow, I never thought about it like that before. Wow.

  41. How did you not post the propaganda ridden child abusing youtube for this?…..dded#at=12

  42. I have surrounded myself with a bunch of totalitarian-minded pricks and Stalinist cunts. I have the intellectual class supporting me because I flatter them and make them feel superior to the braying mob. Anything else you need to know before voting for me again?

    Warfare/Welfare/Surveillance OBAMA 2012

  43. I guess tax breaks, deregulation, lower industry protection, governement asset sales will create more jobs.

    Anyone here got any fucking new ideas?

    Anyone even acknowledge jobs are an issue?

    1. Really! And with all the incredible results I’ve already achieved on that front, to boot! Ungrateful bastards — !!!

    2. Excellent advice, re: “jobs” @ 4:16, above.

    3. Anyone even acknowledge jobs are an issue?

      Because acknowledging that it’s an issue will create millions of jobs and pull the employment to population ratio back up to the troughs of the 2001-2003 recession?

      Here’s a “fucking new” idea–how about you come up with something more original than what you were bitching about with your SWPL friends at the fair trade coffeehouse?

  44. As opposed to tax hikes and increasingly onerous government-sponsored regulations, you mean?

    Gee. That is a stumper, isn’t it?

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