Sports

No Spoonerisms for Jersey Sports Bars

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He'll make a lovely donkey

The latest example that all Red Sox fans should be sent on the slow boat to Pleasure Island government holds too much power over our lives, courtesy of NJ.com:

NEW BRUNSWICK — A New Brunswick businessman has filed suit in federal court, charging New Brunswick Mayor James Cahill is holding up approval of his liquor license for a new high end sports bar because he doesn't like the bar's proposed name — Buck Foston's.

Larry Blatterfein, who has owned the Knight Club, a bar on Easton Avenue, for 30 years, charges Cahill is violating his first amendment constitutional right to free speech by holding up the transfer of a second liquor license to Blatterfein from another restaurant in town.

The suit charges Blatterfein met with Cahill earlier this year and told him how he derived the name — a play on words that "is evocative of a century-old sports rivalry between the New York and Boston sports teams."

Blatterfein said in the suit Cahill told him he (the mayor) is a Boston Red Sox fan, but that wasn't the reason he opposed the name — he said he thought it was vulgar.

Link via Halos Heaven.

NEXT: The Killing of Allen Kephart

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  1. Sounds fine to me.

    1. You forgot to post your anonymous link.

      1. Buy 37″ monitors for $15!

    2. Naming the bar Buck Foston is a cunning stunt.

      1. Stunning cunt?

        1. Like your mom?

          1. Pygmy track team?

          2. No cheap monitors for you.

          3. Well, I didn’t hear her complain last night.

            1. Or this morning.

              1. She likes her eggs scrambled AND fertilized.

                1. There’s a Casey Anthony joke in there somewhere.

                  Too soon?

  2. #49 strikes again! Come on NJ, keep making that push for 50!

    Our college towns truly are centers for free thought.

  3. Geez, all you Spankees fans are STILL this upset about THE WORST CHOKEJOB IN MLB HISTORY?

    Never gets old.

    1. Every time I feel the cold bark of winter, all I have to do is think of those few nights and I am immediately warmed.

      Even worse, though, is that Welch is an Angel fan, which means that there is just so much Boston pain there that even I can sympathize with it.

    2. Spare a thought for those of us who hate both the Yankees and the Red Sox, think the rivalry is overrated, and think their fans are a bunch of pricks with an overweeining sense of entitlement.

      1. This. But I do sometimes enjoy asking those who hate both which team they root for when they go head to head. Personally I go with the Yankees.

      2. overweeinning, you mean?

    3. what does get old is that boston fans still think ny gives a rat what you think about anything. Without the Yankees to hate you guys would have nothing. Without boston Yankees just ask who is up next. Honest, you just don’t factor in our thoughts at all.

  4. Red Sox fans are the most hideous creatures to ever walk the earth, right after Seahawks fans, and possibly Mets fans.

    1. Cubs fans are way worse.

      1. At least the cubbies have George Will. The BoSox have Mitt Romney… it just makes it that much worse.

    2. But we used to be so lovable!

      After Aaron Effing Boone in 2003 we were at the height of our lovable-ness. Then we had to go and put on the GREATEST COMEBACK IN MLB POSTSEASON HISTORY and now everyone hates us.

      Oh, and Boston now has a title in all four major sports in the last 6 years. That probably doesn’t help much either.

      1. Being Massholes really doesn’t help.

        1. True. Massholes are a distinct and solitary breed. That’s why I don’t live there anymore. I love the city but the people SUUUCCCKK.

          You spend 18 years of your life growing up around them and suddenly New Yorkers look almost look cuddly.

          1. Remember when the Canuck player got taken out with severe injuries and the Beantowners were heckling?

            Class, all the way.

            1. Oh please, that was a reaction to Burrows and the Sedin Siters diving all series long. You have to admit that hit looked really innocuous. Boston fans are now annoying because our teams win every conceivable professional sporting achievment, I understand the hate, but we’re not Philly fans for crying out loud

              1. *Sedin sisters*

              2. The Patriots haven’t won anything since it was discovered they were videotaping the other teams’ signals.

            2. Hey, I’m not defending our fanbase. We have some of the worlds worst fans without a doubt. The way that Bill Russell was treated in Boston after winning 11 championships was absolutely criminal.

              We ain’t called Massholes for nuthin’.

              1. Boston area / New Enlgand fans, along with the local media, view themselves as “great sports fans”. One often hears native New Englanders boast that “Boston is the greatest sports town”.

                ITS NOT!

                Generally speaking, Boston / New England is, by far, the most parochial, provincial and ignorant region in the country, period. We are xenoramuses. The prinicple applies to sports as well.

                Proof?

                (1) A lifetime of listening to Boston sports talk radio.

                (2) The good fortune of having traveled the country and having attended sporting events all of the country.

                (3) Yesterday, on the way home from New York, I was listening to the Fan, WFAN, New York. Syd Rosenberg is filling in for Mike Francessa. He’s talking Wimbledon and there are some callers who engage him in some tennis talk. Over the past two weeks, I have heard nary a word on the fortnight at Wimbledon on Boston’s two 50,000 watt radio sports talk shows.

                (4) How about the television ratings for the Boston market when a Boston / New England team is not playing? The worst of all the major markets.

                Sure, the 2004 Yankees occupy a pretty distinct area of ignominy. But, its the Red Sox fans who blow (pun intended) the thing way out of proportion. Its the Yankees who have the 27 World Series championships. Not the Red Sox. The world over, the Yankees are still the numero uno sports franchiose. The Yankees are the gold standard for team sports excellence.

                IMO, the 1978 Red Sox define choke artistry. Blowing a mid July 14 game lead is a better indicator than a single 7 game series.

                1. As a kid, I was a huge Red Sox fan, to the point of listening to games on the radio. And yes, I have to agree – the 1978 Sox set the bar for choking.

            3. Yep. Typical beantown fan. If they fall to the ice, it must have been a dive and warrants dangerous cross checking.

        2. Hey, shitdick, Red Sox territory extends well beyond Massivetwoshits. Not all of New England is masshole-land.

          1. Uh, I know, dude, seeing as I grew up in eastern CT. One must fight the Masshole influence at all times.

      2. OK, football, basketball, and baseball. What’s the fourth?

        1. Is there even ice in Panama?

          1. Only in your gin and tonic, MP

        2. A hockey joke. Ha.

      3. Fuck all Massholes. You call dumplings “Peking raviolis” you classless fucks.

      4. I never understood why you guys were ever lovable to disinterested fans. The Sox operated in every supposedly distasteful way the Yankees did, it just took an extra decade and a competent management team for it to finally work. Combined with a fanbase at least as annoying as the Yanks’ I have no idea why the Pittsburghs and Kansas Citys of the world ever got behind them. It was a bunch of loudmouthed mercenary showoffs from a huge market cobbled together to defeat the cold, corporate mercenaries from the huge market down the road.

        The 2004 Yankees were probably the 2nd worst team the Yanks trotted out in the Torre era, ahead of only a 2000 group that got hot at the right time. That Sox team was much, much more talented; if ever there was a potential for that choke to happen, that was it.

    3. Your tears are so yummy and sweet.

      1. What tears? I don’t give a shit who wins, just that Boston loses.

        1. IOW, your favorite team is whoever plays against Boston?

          1. My favorite team is whoever beats Boston. And the Canucks did not deliver.

            1. Well, the Canucks are the greatest choke team in the NHL.

              The Canucks could have a three game lead going into the 4th game of the Stanley Cup final, be ahead 6 – 0 with 10 minutes left in the 3rd period of the 4th game and still lose the Cup.

    4. The Seahawks have fans?

      1. Go past Qwest…I mean CenturyLink Field during a game and listen to “the 12th man”. I was at Uwajimaya during a game once and the noise was deafening even at that distance.

        I’m not saying they’re not retarded. I’m just saying that they do have fans.

        1. I was at Uwajimaya during a game once and the noise was deafening even at that distance.

          Inside the grocery store it was deafening? Huh, I’ve never noticed in my trips to Seattle.

          1. No, in the parking lot it was deafening, and you could still catch bits and pieces of the noise inside the store.

        2. Psshh…. Qwest Field is like a library compared to Arrowhead Stadium, the mecca of all things good and right in the world.

        3. Seattle Seahawk fans are notoriously and nationally known as loud, from the Kingdome to the new place. They used to take decibel measurements during playoff time while the paid ex-jock chucklers compared it to airplanes and such.

          And, funny enough, here’s a link to perfectly illustrate it. They’re still doing the airplane thing.

          http://bleacherreport.com/arti…..in-the-nfl

          1. Arrowhead is louder. Especially when the Chiefs absolutely slaughter the pathetic seahags in Seattle.

            1. I have been to Kauffmann, not Arrowhead. I would go see a Royals game there any day of any week that it isn’t absolutely humid or pouring.

              See what I did there? Nah, I loved seeing the few games I did there. Beautiful, chill place to watch a game for the game itself.

    5. Are Ohio State fans on probation and unable to compete for the title or is this limited to the fans of officially professional teams?

      1. On behalf of Buckeye fans, I say “Muck yourself, Fohawk.”

        1. Hey, you wouldn’t by chance be the guy in the Katzenmoyer jersey who tried to push me onto High Street back in 2005 just as the light turned green would you? Good times.

      2. Are they going to vacate Ohio State’s 2002 national championship? Or am I doomed to know that OSU has 1 more national title (7 vs. 6) than my beloved Golden Gophers?

    6. The most loathsome sports creature of all is the front-running bandwagon Ohio-dwelling Steeler fan. Fuck all of them.

      1. Maybe if an Ohio team had won a championship in the past 20 years you wouldn’t have that problem.

        1. why are you talking to me, shitstain? AXIS OF GLIB

          1. Unlike some, I don’t take people’s blog personalities personally.

            1. Last Cleveland championship was 1964.

              Browns 27, Colts 0.

              IMO, those Cleveland fans who loathe Lebron James are inferior sports fans. If one desires to be amongst the cognoscenti of sports fans, one, by definition, can not root for laundary.

              Lebron will win a championship. There will be others who will throw a pity party for Cleveland when that happens. In the immortal words of Bart Scott,

              CAN’T WAIT!

              1. Lebron will win a championship.

                If he switches to a career in competitive eating perhaps.

                1. He’s not enough of a hotdog.

        2. Ohio St was 9? years ago. That is less than 20, IIRC.

    7. Ah, go watch a Michael Bay movie. Sober.

      While I have to admit that many Sox fans are jerks, they’re not unique in that regard. From Philadelphia Eagle fans who liked to urinate on opposing teams’ fans to LA Dodger fans attacking Giants fans, idiocy is far too widespread in sports fandom.

      At least most US fans aren’t violent, unlike a lot of “enlightened” Euro footy fans (Millwall!), who often also have the classy habit of making monkey noises when African players get the ball.

      1. Around the time of last year’s World Cup, some snarky guy in the Hartford Advocate was making fun of how American soccer fans acted at the stadium during an exhibition match they’d played in the area. It was an intellectually comical piece of would-be wordliness. Really? We should be more like European soccer fans?

        1. In a way, it’s too bad more Americans who possess a Euro-inferiority complex don’t pay more attention to soccer; seeing the Europeans at their finest would disabuse them of many of their beliefs.

          1. Heh. There’s a real fine line between their passion and impending violence. I once spent a lot of time researching English football hooliganism for a project, which pales to witnessing it, but was nonetheless still somewhat instructive.

    8. I mean, why else do us Mets fans wear bags over our heads?

      However, as a Libertarian Mets fan, I prefer a diamond encrusted opera mask with a built in monocle.

      1. I’ve been watching the Mets suck it up for most of my life. Admittedly, living in Queens as a 10-year-old Yankees fan in ’86 sucked pretty bad. But going to game 6 in ’96 more than made up for it.

        Here’s the thing that has bothered me A LOT in the last few years – Mets fans rooting for the Phillies in the World Series. I don’t hate the Mets, but I wouldn’t root for the Red Sox against the Hades’ Satan’s Lapdogs, let alone against the Mets.

        Actually – I think it’s the Long Island Mets fans that hate the Yankees more than the Phillies. And that’s just wrong man.

        1. I would never, ever, root for the motherfucking Phillies. They are human garbage, and their fans are worse.

          On the other hand, I was rooting for the Red Sox during the epic 2004 collapse. Sorry, Yankees fans, but as the “little brother” of this relationship, it’s nice to have that to fall back on (sadly, we later fucked it up by collapsing out of the playoffs in 2007, or “The Month that Mets Fans don’t like to talk about.”)

          1. There’s nothing to really say about that one; I could read the pain and suffering on friends’ and coworkers’ faces.

  5. Just to be clear, the words Buck and Foston, when combined, are vulgar. Individually, I’m guessing, they’re okay.

  6. New Jersey has 9 Fuddrucker’s, including one in New Brunswick.

    1. They’re not bad either.

      1. I’ve only eaten at one while sunburned and massively hungover. What I remember is generally positive.

    2. I don’t see anything offensive about the phrase dud fruckers.

      1. Dude, it’s obviously supposed to be Rudd Fucker’s, a reference to the owner’s desire to have actor Paul Rudd violently raped.

        1. We all have that desire. Well, Warty wants to do the raping, but he still wants the same end product that we all want.

          1. Is Paul Rudd that one guy from that one shitty sitcom in that one decade in the past? I think I’d be too bored with his mediocrity to sustain an erection. Call in the STEVE SMITH for this job.

            1. He’s the love interest in Clueless. Which is why you don’t know who he is, but NutraSweet does. Did you know that’s his favorite movie? He identifies with it so much.

              1. But, Role Models!

            2. Paul Reiser could certainly use a STEVE SMITH visit too.

            3. You might be thinking of Paul Reiser.

              1. Yes, I think so. Your knowledge of mediocrity continues to impress.

              2. Paul Reiser is your favorite now? You change favorites more often than you change your adult diaper.

                1. more often than you change your adult diaper

                  That conveys precisely as much information as the phrase “I could care less”.

                  1. Barring the occasional woodland emergency, I have been shitting elusively in toilets for nearly 25 years now, thankyouverymuch.

                    1. “Woodland emergency” is code for “anywhere with wood paneling”.

                    2. Nobody has brought up Celery Man yet?

                    3. … and now we circle back around to a Boston reference … very clever.

                    4. A true master of clandestine urban shitting.

      2. Then there’s Mother Tucker’s in Canada.

    3. Ruddfuckers?

  7. I used to live around that area. The mix of non-class and statist bumfuckery doesn’t surprise me.

    1. I’ve lived 3 towns over my whole life. I am completely unsurprised.

  8. The Yankees and Red Sox are a bunch of cumb dunts. It used to be easy to cheer for the Sox but after ending their losing streak they have become just as insufferable as Yankees fans. The funniest part is they are exactly the same, a bunch of north-easterners spending way more than any other team and still failing to win most of the time.

    1. I endorse this view. Me and the Rays.

      Named, incidentally, in honor of Ray J. Johnson, not after some sort of ray fish thingee.

      1. You can call him Ray.
        or you can call him J.

        1. Precisely. We’re also going to call them the Smokers after the throwback jersey game.

          1. But not the Devil Smokers, right. Because Satan!

          2. but ya doesn’t have to call him Johnson.

          3. I would normally have a great deal of respect for the Rays, being underdogs in a division with two teams of massive payrolls. However, their decision to lose the “Devil” part of their name was just craven. If they can’t be decent Satanists, or go back to their tradition and become Smokers, they deserve to wallow in mediocrity.

            1. That’s never been explained. I think they wanted to change the name to shed the losing, and the real wimp out wasn’t the Devil so much as not going for a complete name change.

      2. The Rays were named after the guy from the kardashian fucktape?

    2. The Yankees “fail to win most of the time?” We haven’t had a losing season since the early 90s. Jealous?

      1. Pretty sure he’s talking about the title.

        1. 27 World Series Championships?

        2. 27 titles…

          1. Considering the insane difference in payroll, there’s no reason they shouldn’t have 100 titles.

            1. Payroll is significantly less important than fans care to admit.

              1. I’d rather have a great farm system and keep churning out new players.

                But it is a big deal and makes it hard for most of the league to stay in contention.

                1. If used properly, as is generally the case with Boston, the Yanks, and the Phillies, it can be a huge tactical advantage. But if used stupidly teams end up tying themselves into mediocrity for long periods of time and end up killing their attractiveness to high end free agents in the future. So it cuts both ways.

                  1. If used properly, as is generally the case with Boston, the Yanks, and the Phillies, it can be a huge tactical advantage. But if used stupidly teams end up tying themselves into mediocrity for long periods of time and end up killing their attractiveness to high end free agents in the future. So it cuts both ways.

                    See Mets, New York for an example of this in action.

                    1. Also Astros, Houston.

                      Of course, this team wouldn’t have sniffed the post-season in the last 10 years if one of the top 10 pitchers of all time didn’t inexplicably decide to un-retire in his hometown and bring his BFF along too.

                    2. Man, why rag on the team with exactly 1 World Series cameo in its history?

                2. I’d rather have a great farm system and keep churning out new players.

                  For the real baseball geeks out there, I’d recommend Dollar Sign on the Muscle, a look into the world of baseball scouting. It’s seriously outdated now, but it’s a great read about baseball scouting as it existed in the 1980’s. There are also some interesting discussions about farm system and the development of free agency.

            2. While people rightly point out that the Red Sox are way up there in payroll (most years they’re 3rd), there’s still a huge difference between them and NYY. You could pay the entire Royals team with the difference in salaries between BOS and NYY.

              1. The Yankees also have to pay a premium to get players there since the media is insane, the cost of living and income taxes are high, and agents know they’re swimming in cash and willing to pay.

      2. With Steinbrenner dead, dude, things may change.

        1. Not likely. There are the little Steinbrenners, who have to continue compensating for their own little Steinbrenners.

      3. I think that one of the most annoying thing any sports fan can do is to refer to their favorite team as “we”. You are not on the fucking Yankees.

        1. Even college sports? I mean, I still give the university money so aren’t I in some small sense a part owner?

          Oh, wait. I don’t give to athletics. I give to the College of Engineering. Never mind.

        2. What about the people who own shares in the Green Bay Packers?

      4. And you’ve spent what, $3 billion in payroll during that span?

        1. Bartolo Clon makes $900,000 this year.

          AJ Burnett is making $16,500,000.

          Perhaps payroll numbers aren’t the only thing that matters.

          1. They matter to losers and their loser fans.

  9. You guys obviously have never made the acquaintance of most tiresome assholes in the world: the Pittsburgh Steelers fans.

    1. Black and yellow
      Black and yellow
      Black and yellow
      Black and yellow
      Black and yellow
      Black and yellow
      Black and yellow
      Black and yellow
      Black and yellow
      Black and yellow
      Black and yellow
      Black and yellow
      Black and yellow
      Black and yellow
      Black and yellow

      1. LES GEW BLAHK AN GOWLT
        ERE WE GEW STILLERS ERE WE GEW

        1. Don’t forget to bring a towel!

    2. The ones who have never even lived in PA are even worse than the honest ones, if you can imagine that.

      1. I don’t understand how not having the accent can make things worse.

        1. It’s something they aspire to. Ponder that on the tree of woe.

          1. Ouch.

      2. I know one OH Steelers fan. Subhuman scum.

    3. BS. Karl Gerbschmidt Green Bay Packer fan could wear out any truckload of tiresome assholes you care to find.

    4. So cap-L is a traitor to his own people. I’ve always liked your spunky good nature, but I won’t deny it’s hard to respect you after this statement.

    5. Even more tiresome an asshole than Ben Roethlisberger?

  10. THE SHAME OF HILLARY DIANE RODHAM – CLINTON ? Standing in the way of the Revolution!

    [The Shame of Hillary D. R. Clinton]

    Clinton must be seen for what she represents, the Plutocracy of Hypocrisy, the Capitalist State, where the wealth is held in the hands of [1%] of the population, where elections are nothing but brought and paid for shams, paid for in large part by [AIPAC/AZC] the American Israel Political Action Committee/American Zionist Committee. Hillary D. R. Clinton, has no shame, supporting the [PURE JEWISH STATE] by not making it clear that citizens from the former [USA] United States of American were not to be endangered by or harmed during any peaceful demonstration by [THE PURE JEWISH STATE], but the [USA] no longer exists, but has been replaced by the American – Israeli Military Industrial Complex, with [BIBI] its head of State The Gift of God. The true Heroin will be the [87] year old Holocaust Survivor, aboard a ship in the Flotilla, not a woman who claimed at one time to have come under fire, when in fact Hillary had been given flowers not enemy fire.

    [The Queen of Greed]

    Open your eyes to the truth and you will be set free. See the shame of Hillary D. R. Clinton to quote Mark Levine, [Israel announcing the letting in of a few hundred million dollars in construction materials, so Secretary of State Clinton can faithfully echo your commitment as a justification for opposing the flotilla, while her assistants salute the “established and efficient” mechanisms for getting supplies into Gaza. Israel is safe in the knowledge that the American ? Israeli Military Industrial Complex ? the [EMPIRE] will threaten you with imprisonment (if you survive the journey) for “attempting to conspiring to deliver material support or other resources to or for the benefit of a designated foreign terrorist organization.], unquote.

    The Arab Spring must not be the end, but just the beginning, it is time for the youth of the [EU] European Union to rise up, and break the chains of the past and their regional [SPHERES OF INFLUENCE] to the American – Israeli Military Industrial Complex – the [EMPIRE], which must be forever broken and ended, it is time to end the [1%] Wall St., uncontrolled capitalism of globalization, where the wealth flows only in one direction to the [1%], the rich men of the [EMPIRE] , who profit as [99%] suffer for their gain and greed. Hillary D. R. Clinton is the Queen of Greed, never look to either the Queen of Capitalist Greed, or the [EMPIRE], look to your own regional interests, look to your own regional [SPHERES OF INFLUENCE].

    [21st Century Social Revolution]

    We would hope that you would in fact choose the Communist Revolution, no one can hope to achieve the Pure Communist State dream of Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels, but to take their ideals and form a [SPHERES OF INFLUENCE] based upon their principles, of wealth distribution among the mass, of a fair and equitable society. But, if Communism is not your cup of tea, brew your tea to your own taste, be it a form of Pure or Pragmatic Communism based upon the Communist Manifesto, or other form of governmental structure, but we would urge the rejection of the [EMPIRE]. We urge the rejection of the Queen of Greed and the [1%], whatever type of regional [SPHERE OF INFLUENCE], you the youth of the World selects, but reject [EMPIRE] globalization. The Flotilla of Audacity of Hope, should inspire the peoples of the World, and be seen as just the first step in a [21st] Century Social Revolution of Regional Spheres of Influence

    HERCULE TRIATHLON SAVINIEN

    1. …Bill?

    2. *New and Improved Communism*

      Now with 30% more liquidations!

  11. That Sox fan pictured sure has some tig ol’ bitties.

  12. This thread is why there are no libertarian chicks. And I like sports.

    1. Sports rivalries can be tedious.

    2. What scares them off, the man-boobs? Those aren’t even bad man-boobs.

    3. I sure hope it’s all the poop talk. Because poop talk will always be a part of libertarianism.

      1. Does this mean we can recruit Tubgirl to Team L?

        1. She already trolls these threads.

      2. Poopies!

  13. I dunno what it is…I’m all for testosterone and manliness annat, but there’s just something about fans’ sports rivalries that’s really off-putting. I’m a Vikings fan – you’re more than welcome to make fun of me all day long. I ain’t gonna defend the Vikings – they don’t even hold the record for most Superbowls lost anymore.

    The manboobs and bodypaint don’t help.

    1. As a Chiefs fan, I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that the Chiefs won SB IV. And although my Chiefs have failed to make it back since then (a decade of Marty ball made us regularly competitive but not title worthy), under the stewardship of Todd Haley and Scott Pioli, the Chiefs will once again rise.

    2. Kristen, so you’re saying that if there was an unmoderated sports thread at a liberal or conservative blog, it would have been a pleasant exchange of polite viewpoints?

    3. It’s not like you can see boobs at the Women’s World Cup.

    4. Kristen,

      Is it the rivalry talk? Or is it that you know in the bottom of your heart that when the MN legislature and governor finally agree to a special session to end the government shutdown that it will probably also pass a new stadium bill for the Vikes?

      After all when you are willing to shut down the state over a budget the best way to mend fences afterwards is to give a billionaire 600M so he can make even more money.

    5. Go Vikings!

  14. If he opened a gay bar called Phil McCracken’s would the stupid mayor even get it?

  15. The only real libertarian sports are Polo and Fox hunting.

    1. Real libertarian sporting events? I vote for the Knob Creek Machine Gun Shoot and Boomershoot.

      1. Have to love superior firepower used just for fun.

    2. What about releasing our hounds on the orphan children who come to our doors to beg for food? That makes excellent sport, old chap.

      1. I prefer to release the hounds on the religious door knockers.

    3. Naw, the One True Libertarian Sport is Calvinball.

      1. What about Whackbat?

      2. I never understood the “pinch nudge” rule at 17th base.

    4. sports betting + offshore accounts + avoiding the feds = THE real libertarian sport

    5. Libertarian sports are all individual competitions. There are no teams.

      1. There were teams for a while, but everyone who tried to coach them was killed in self defense.

    1. Sluts are always appropriate, especially when they’re baby-murderers or at least terrible mothers.

      1. Somehow wearing a Ohio State jersey makes her even less attractive. Somehow the jersey is worse than the terrible parenting skills.

  16. So I guess New Brunswick is a town in New Jersey? If not for the headline, I would’ve been confused. I’d only ever heard of the Canadian Pprovince.

  17. Clearly, he shouldn’t have continued the joke by putting naming ‘Charles Ulysses Farley’ as a corporate officer on the paperwork.

  18. Charles Ulysses Farley’ as a corporate officer on the paperwork.

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