Children

"Go the Fuck to Sleep" Not Funny, Says Killjoy at CNN.com

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The children's book parody Go the Fuck to Sleep is a smash hit, topping all manner of bestsellers lists. Which means that somebody's gonna get upset. Because it's not funny if anyone has ever been killed or hurt or damaged or whatever, even if it has nothing to do with the subject at hand.

Over at CNN.com, here's Karen Spears Zacharias, author of the forthcoming The Shelter of Mockingbirds: The Murder of 3-Year-Old Karly Sheehan:

Joan Demarest is an attorney in Corvallis, Oregon, and the mother of three young boys. Demarest told me that initially she thought the book was funny. That was before she read it. "Now I find it unsettling. I don't like violent language in association with children."

She has good reason to be concerned about the message behind such a parody. Demarest was the prosecuting attorney in one of Oregon's most high-profile child murder cases. She understands the fear that far too many children endure because the lines of what's appropriate parenting have become blurred.

After duly acknowledging that the book in no way can be connected with any social harms, she continues along these lines:

"Imagine if this were written about Jews, blacks, Muslims or Latinos," says Dr. David Arredondo. He is an expert on child development and founder of The Children's Program, in the San Francisco metropolitan area, which provides consultation and training for those working with troubled youths….

The violent language of "Go the F*** to Sleep" is not the least bit funny, when one considers how many neglected children fall asleep each night praying for a parent who'd care enough to hold them, nurture them and read to them.

Whole buzzkill here.

As people as varied as Mel Brooks, Matt Stone and Trey Parker, Carol Burnett, Gilbert Gottfried, and Dave Chappelle could tell you, if you follow Zacharias' comic logic, we would be living in a world without humor. And without F Troop, Hogan's Heroes, and The Book of Mormon (the musical!), and virtually every other funny movie and TV show this side of the Hanna Barbera Laff Olympics Scooby's All-Star Laff-A-Lympics.

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  1. shut the fuck up, Joan Demarest

  2. Doody. (giggles)

    fuh…fuh…FUCKERS! (squeals and runs away)

  3. If she sincerely believes what she wrote, then the first time she harbors the wish that a child would sleep, she needs to give that child up for adoption immediately and unconditionally.

  4. I don’t particularly care for the concept, but that’s just a matter of taste, not a belief that this book is the harbinger of the collapse of society.

    De gustibus non est disputandum.

    1. If you don’t teach your kids how to curse, they’ll just pick it up on the streets. Wouldn’t you rather them get accurate and comprehensive cursing lessons from you than some shitass they meet on the playground?

      1. For the love of Zod!

      2. shitass? Where did you learn such language?

        its fuckstain or cuntnugget at the very least.

        1. Watch your whore mouth, twatwallet.

          1. Phillip: Say, Terrance, what did the Spanish priest say to the Iranian gynecologist?
            Terrance: I don’t know, Phillip. What?
            [Phillip farts]
            Stan: Where do they come up with this stuff?
            Terrance: You’re such a pig-fucker, Phillip! (boys gasp)
            Kyle: What did he say?
            Phillip: Terrance, why would you call me a pig-fucker?
            Terrance: Well, let’s see. First of all, you fuck pigs.
            Phillip: Oh yeah!

      3. XD I love this comment

    2. I don’t find it the least bit funny. And I find the book annoying for the opposite reason these people do. Why doesn’t the guy in the book tell the brat to like it or lump it and go back and fuck his wife?

      1. Because fucking his wife would be playing russian roulette with the reset button for 18 years of misery.

      2. Probably because his wife is looser than a 13 gallon trash bag at this point. He really wants them both asleep so he can make the bald man cry to Urkranian sado-porn and nip off for six hours of fitfull sleep before starting the same shitty cycle all over again. Assuming he gets a moment to himself this weekend, he’ll spend it fantasizing about faking an arson to burn them alive for the insurance money while fingering his own asshole in the shower.

        1. HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT MY LIFE!?!?

        2. Sugarfree, have you written a novel yet? I think there might be a market.

          1. They’d make e take out the naughty bits and it would only end up being about 15 pages of sentence fragments.

            1. We wouldn’t censor the naughty bits. But, despite feedback loops from the Kindle store, we do feel incest has been a bit overdone.

              1. Ah, a literary joke. Well done sir.

                I have MG’s book, “the frog prince” on my shelf. Not yet read it. Will start today.

            2. Whose this “they” of which you speak? Amazon?

        3. HOLY SHIT!!!

          I should have come to this thread earlier. I had to take a minute to breathe there…boss thinks I am certifiable at this point.

      3. John has no children.

  5. Kudos for the URL.

  6. Quoth Zacharias:

    Nobody is suggesting that there’s a connection between Adam Mansbach’s book and child abuse or child neglect.

    Except, of course, that “suggesting” just such a connection is, as far as I can tell, the entire point of Zacharias’ article.

    1. I think she meant to write:

      “Nobody [else] is suggesting that there’s a connection between Adam Mansbach’s book and child abuse or child neglect.”

      1. “They can’t sue me because I’m not directly claiming that there’s a connection between Adam Mansbach’s book and child abuse or child neglect.”

        1. Ah, I see you speak Jive.

    2. Seriously, how many times have we seen articles with this format:

      Nobody is suggesting [insert ridiculous nonsense which I am now suggesting].

      Hundreds, if not thousands of times. It’s the classic formula. It’s like the reverse psychology form of a statement like “People will think [insert more nonsense]. Not me, but, you know, people.

  7. I listened to someone read it on youtube and found it to be neither funny nor violent.

    You want violent, try Grimms’ Brothers.

    1. Amen, and amen, and amen.

      And with that, I declare this thread settled.

      (Guys, stop commenting!)

      1. NO U!

  8. I, for one, loved the Carol Burnett/Dave Chappelle Comedy-Variety Hour Reunion Show!

    1. (If only Lyle Waggoner had just gone the fuck to sleep.)

      1. Reading his name just put the Wonder Woman theme in my head. Dangit.

        1. Hey!

        2. Make a hawk a dove.
          Stop a war with love.
          Make a liar tell the truth!

          I thought at the time this should have been Nancy Pelosi’s theme song when she got the speakership back in 2006. And then Obama’s when he campaigned in 2008.

          1. It’s kind of catchy in an evil, 70s mind-destroying way.

            1. Hangin’ out
              Down the street
              Shut the fuck up
              And go to sleep

    2. the Carol Burnett/Dave Chappelle Comedy-Variety Hour Reunion Show

      *off to see if that’s real*

  9. And they manage to go full Godwin in the article as well, with the quote from the doctor: “Imagine if this were written about Jews”.

    Some people have no sense of humor. Their lives must suck, so I guess they pay for it.

    1. Jews suck. They’re just like Christ-fags, only worse.

      1. where’s my underzog

        1. My pussy hurts.

      2. You know who else was an anti-Semitic atheist…

        1. Oooh… I know! Pick me!

    2. Exactly, it’s not like the book is titled: Go To Sleep Or I’ll Come In There And Fuck You To Sleep

      1. I smell a sequel!!!

        1. Is that all you smell, Jimmy?

    3. I don’t get it. Don’t Jews sleep?

      1. No, stupid. They count their Jew-gold instead.

  10. What’s wrong with the book is that it hasn’t been advertised enough.

  11. “Imagine if this were written about Jews, blacks, Muslims or Latinos,” says Dr. David Arredondo.

    Children: the last group to which it’s socially acceptable to say “fuck”.

    1. I’m still wondering how many people would be upset with a book that said “Go the Fuck to Sleep, Latinos.”

      1. According to Top Gear, Latinos don’t need any help in that department

      2. I believe the title would be Go Fuck Your Sisters, Esse.

        1. Speedy Gonzales knows everyone’s seester

          1. Speedy Gonzales knows everyone’s seester

            If only briefly.

      3. That must be the sequel to “Get the Fuck Off My Car, Latinos” that they sell at Home Depot.

    2. “Speak English or Go the Fuck Home, anchorchildren”

      Yeah, that does seem weird. I think he may have a point.

      1. I agree with the “speak English” part, though I’d never go along with a federal “English-only” law.

    3. Well if Jews, blacks, Muslims or Latinos were keeping me up at night for bullshit reasons I’m pretty sure it’d be funny still.

      1. See, look = you didn’t capitalize Blacks.

        uh… RACIST?!

  12. This sort of intellectual hooliganism distracts America from the important issues!

    The Concern Troll Army gets a raging case of vaginitis when you ignore them.

    1. Shut the fuck up, P Brooks!

  13. I like how dirty language suddenly becomes violent language. If this idiot had ever heard my mother, she would have taken her out of the house.

    1. imo, this is largely consequence of the War on DV (and as i say – a worse war than the war on drugs in its effect on the average innocent american).

      specifically, i am referring to the idea that profane speech towards a domestic partner is somehow tantamount to … wait for it… VIOLENCE

  14. Eh, she’s just selling a book- something I believe the Reason staff might be familiar with. (Ahem.)

    One fascinating highlight from CNN: “Karen Spears Zacharias says “Go the F*** to Sleep” is popular book aimed at parents”. Wow, the things you learn.

    1. Are you implying that the Reason staff has written some sort of book?

      1. That sounds unpossible. Books require some amount of proofreading faculty don’t they?

  15. how many neglected children fall asleep each night praying for a parent who’d care enough to hold them, nurture them and read to them.

    “Eat those lima beans; children in Africa are starving.”

    1. sounds like you got the title to a new children’s book there!! Better get out there any copyright it!

    2. Everytime I clap, a child in Africa dies.

      1. stop clapping, you fookin’ bastard!

  16. Demarest should be ashamed of herself for debating the merits of a children’s book whilst violence in Afghanistan has reached its worst level since the Taliban’s ouster by U.S.-backed Afghan forces in 2001….

  17. I’m waiting for a mash-up this book and the Declaration of Independents.

    1. Wake the fuck up, independents!

  18. If only CNN would focus more on people hyperventilating about the blatant disregard of the War Powers Act and actual real life people being hurt and killed in Libya/Yemen/etc. instead of people hyperventilating about colorful language.

    1. Too much ghafla, the distraction.

  19. Fine, I will admit it. Reactions like Zacharias’ are a big part of why a book like this is funny in the first place.

  20. If those humorless critiques had been aimed at the Laff-a-Lympics I might have to agree. A low point for the Hanna-Barbera franchise. And that’s saying something.

    1. Heavens to Murgatroid, you have bad taste!

      1. I’m all about the ’60s era H-B product. Lippy the Lion & Hardy Har Har, Touche Turtle & Dum Dum, prime time Flitstones… but round about 1974, it was all downhill.

        1. Thundarr the Barbarian pitys someone who is so wrong.

          1. I’ll take the case!

          2. I was only wrong in crediting H-B with a QC decline in 1974. Probably began earlier — with the cancellation of most of their original stable of cartoons at the behest of “advocates” who felt their shows were too violent.

            The more things change, the more they stay the same.

            1. at the behest of “advocates” who felt their shows were too violent.

              That’s ridiculous!

          3. Was Thundarr a Hanna-Barbera property?

            1. Ruby and Spears, after they left HB.

          4. Mother fuckin’ Herculoids represent!

        2. scrappy RUINED scooby doo. also i thought it was cool that kasey kasem did the voice for shaggy. something i didn’t find out until many years after i watched that show

          1. I still trip out on George Carlin narrating a bunch of the Thomas the Train episodes…

          2. A woman I was interested in was dating a guy who affectionatly called her “Scrappy” (because she reminded him of the cartoon character). She thought it was adorable until she discussed it with me one evening and I shared with her my disgust of the character and the reasons for it. The two of them wound up splitting and I wound up benefitting from her new-found singlehood.

            1. verrrrrrrrrrrry sneaky.

              here’s an analogy

              scrappy:scooby doo as oliver:brady bunch

          3. Scooby Doo was ruined long before Scrappy. Probably even before the Harlem Globetrotters and Jonathan Winters.

    2. No, the low point for H-B has to be Jabber Jaw.

  21. “Still, there’s no denying the reason “Go the F*** to Sleep” should be kept out of reach of children is because of its violent language and because of the way it demeans children.”

    Well, no shit, Sherlock. Who ever suggested actually letting your kids *see* this book? That’s clearly not the point.

    This is the book that mommy and daddy laugh at AFTER you finally, eventually, 15-times-getting-up-and-3-potty-breaks-later go to sleep, kids. *That’s* the point.

    1. I think her beef is that its mere existence is passive toleration of ‘violent language’ appearing in the context of a children book… and that if we do not poo poo it to death and decry even the idea of such a thing that we are letting the standards of what constitutes acceptable relations with children decline to perpetual vulgarity and abuse and authoritarianism.*

      Something like that.

      I have no particular rebuttal to idiotic people like this. There’s a word for what they’re called, but it escapes me.

      i’m trying “complainer, crepehanger, cynic, defeatist, depreciator, downer, gloomy, killjoy, misanthrope, party pooper, prophet of doom, sourpuss, wet blanket, worrier, worrywart”… but none of them are exactly what I think is needed. Something more like,

      “Someone who so absurdly inflates the possible risks of anything that they can always be expected to present an argument that suggests X is bad, scary, undesirable, offensive, a threat to humankind, etc. by framing the issue in a manner that suggests any alternative view of humanity – such as, the *Who Fucking Cares* school of thought – is irresponsible and reprehensible.”**

      Something like that.

      Any suggestions for appropriate word, please let me know. I think Hitchens probably has 5 good ones.

      [* Note: This is actually a fair characterization of the current attitude of some young poor single mothers in NYC; but they didn’t need a book to teach them to scream “Shut the fuck up and go to bed” regularly. It came naturally.

      **See: Anti-GMO activists – positing extinction of human race over genetic manipulation of crops]

      1. i’m trying “complainer, crepehanger, cynic, defeatist, depreciator, downer, gloomy, killjoy, misanthrope, party pooper, prophet of doom, sourpuss, wet blanket, worrier, worrywart”… but none of them are exactly what I think is needed.

        We’re not talking about Tulpa here.

      2. Bibertarian. A nanny who wants to put a bib on the world and spoon-feed our pathetic lives to us, one bit at a time.

  22. “Now I find it unsettling. I don’t like violent language in association with children.”

    She must not spend any time around actual children.

    1. it also begs the question. it assumes that profanity e.g. “fuck” is “violent”. again, imo largely a result of the war on DV, where even words that are profane are advocated against as DOMESTIC VIOLENCE!!!!

      1. Crud… this probably means my “A Step-by-Step Guide to Shaking Your Baby Quiet” has no chance of getting published.

        1. That’s the beauty of the desktop publishing revolution.

      2. Thats about right.

        What did Dworkin say was the same as Rape? Marriage? Or just the existence of penises? … I try not to remember anything about her.

        1. “how many radical feminists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?”

          answer: “THAT’S NOT FUNNY. YOU PATRIARCHAL CHAUVINISTIC FASCIST ASSHOLE. “

          1. That’s pretty much the tone of any Feministing post, isn’t it?

            1. yup. they are the most humorless people on the planet. way moreso than religious zealots i might add.

              i recall back in the early days of the duke (fake) rape case, i made some posts pointing out how there were credibility problems with the complainant, that the case seemed weak, and that the fact that the defendants were jumping over backwards to COOPERATE with the prosecution meant to me that it was likely a bogus complaint.

              the outrage was hysterical (sexist language intended)

              even after crystal mangum was outed as a lying piece of shit (and never prosecuted for it i might add), and to this DAY, they still have the attitude that those “duke boys” did SOMETHIGN wrong (e.g. they were drinking and hired a stripper at least oh noes!) and that women don’t lie about rape, and…

              a bunch of idiotic ideological wanks over there

              1. That’s hate-filled misandrist liberals for you…

              2. to this DAY, they still have the attitude that those “duke boys” did SOMETHIGN wrong

                When ain’t them Duke Boys gettin into some frackas or’nother? Shucks.

                1. Why just ta other day them Duke boys were double-drillin’ a nigger whore in the shitter. So she awas gettin’ in the shitter in the shitter if you’n understands me.

                  Anyways up pulls Roscoe…

  23. Is fuck even really a curse word anymore? It seems to me that the only curse words anymore are cunt and nigger.

    1. Warty, your curse-o-meter is so out of proper calibration, it’s frankly terrifying.

    2. Don’t forget “cocksucker.”

  24. Your responses show the level of intellect associated with garbage like this. Must be a bunch of Ron Paul supporters or ‘progressives’. /out

    1. is that one or two DRINKS?

      1. I LOVE the “/out”
        That’s worth a drink in itself.

        1. Keep snorting the Kool-Aid powder, Morgan.

    2. There is NOTHING in common between supporters of that dumbshit goldbug Paul and progressives.

      I should know… I’m a progressive.

      1. You’re already inked in on my ledger, shrike, but lying won’t get you here any faster.

        You’re WAY past progressive. And Keynes is right here, waiting for you to die so he can shove pineapples up your ass for all eternity.

      2. There is NOTHING in common between supporters of… [Ron] Paul and progressives.

        I suppose you’re right. Ron Paul supporters will vote for a candidate who would end the wars, stop renditioning suspects for torture, stop ordering drone murders, legalize marijuana, and make the president subordinate to the law and the Constitution once again, and progressives will vote for Obama.

        1. Maximum snark.

          Unfortunately, it’s also reality.

        2. Ron Paul can’t legalize MJ. He isn’t congress. He can do a lot in drawing down the war on MJ, but the president has no authoritah to legalize MJ. and even if congress made MJ legal, any state could still criminalize it

          granted, he wouldn’t laff at the idea of marijuana legalization like the snooty assmunch that is obama

    3. Yes, either one thing or the exact ideological opposite. Or somewhere in between.

  25. Singer songwriter Voltaire had a routine about failed childrens books, such as Daddy Drinks Because You Cry, and Playing Dress Up For Adults.

    1. Dude, that was awesome.

      You know better, dear Karen. You know kids are no joke
      You know bad words hurt those about whom they’re spoke
      Even if they don’t hear them. Bad words hurt us all
      They cheapen the culture, they lower the wall.
      Between us and barbarians. For isn’t it said
      That the Etruscans, who cursed, are all now mostly dead?

      …and much much more…. that scores 10 on the cute-clever meter. Unfortunately I don’t know how high the meter goes.

  26. Demarest was the prosecuting attorney in one of Oregon’s most high-profile child murder cases. She understands the fear that far too many children endure because the lines of what’s appropriate parenting have become blurred.

    However blurred the line has become, I’m fairly certain that child murder is still on the other side of it.

  27. Oh, holy fuck… we are so screwed:

    http://spinoff.comicbookresour…..ay-nights/

    I may have to take an exe to my TV, just to be on the safe side.

  28. Shit. It’s almost like some people would like to draw false parallels between violent depictions in art and violent behavior!

    What’s next? Would they advocate that the government regulate these depictions in some way?

    For the children?, of course!

  29. There needs to be a book where a kid says, “No Dad, you go the fuck to sleep! Stop whispering in my ear and let me fucking sleep, motherfucker!”

  30. “Imagine if this were written about Jews, blacks, Muslims or Latinos,” says Dr. David Arredondo.

    Imagine if there was a law saying that Jews, Blacks, Muslims, or Latinos had to spend 30 hours per week in state run education facilities.

    Imagine if there was a law forbidding Jews, Blacks, Muslims, or Latinos from working in exchange for money.

    Imagine if there was a law forbidding Jews, Blacks, Muslims, or Latinos from voting or holding public office.

  31. “Imagine if this were written about Jews, blacks, Muslims or Latinos”? What, imagine if it was a completely different book on a completely different topic? WTF? At least the comments on the CNN site brighten my day and restore my faith in the American people.

  32. Maybe, the “children’s” book should have been made into a video game…

    1. Yea your right and then you chase the kids around with a tranquilizer gun,there going to sleep so its a win win 😀

  33. Depends on who you are i think the book is extremely funny. Im sure some parents do to. But im sure there are more important matters than worrying about a book that was written as a joke and not a seriously written novel.

  34. “Imagine if this were written about Jews, blacks, Muslims or Latinos,” says Dr. David Arredondo.

    As soon as they make jewish, black, muslim or latino children they might just come out with an update in time for Christmas.

  35. Forget the book “Go the F**k to Sleep”, a pathetic, soul-less, allegedly rebel, ‘children’s book’. Don’t waste your hard-earned money, instead read a BANNED book like “America Deceived II” by a real rebel and the “World’s Most Hated Author”, E.A. Blayre III.
    Last link (before Google Books bans it also]:
    http://www.iuniverse.com/Books…..-000190526

  36. I think our society is totally taken by childishness. No, it’s not about the forbidden “f” word, it’s really about how adults can say whatever they want, now that they’ve grown up. It looks like many have a few more years to go.

    Clever marketing, yes. Funny, yes. Cynical, yes. Desperate, yes. Provocative? Yes, for all adults-in-training.

    It reminds me of the reality shows where everyone is using curse words and seem not to care about how angry and miserable they appear. Or, watching talent shows where the host(s) ridicule a contestant in front of millions. Who is more perverse, the people doing this, or the people watching? Stay tuned.

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