Campaigns/Elections

Pre-Emptive Reactions to Gingrich's Announcement

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Newt Gingrich plans to officially Tweet his presidential candidacy tonight. For those of you who can't wait until then, here are some pre-emptive reactions:

Steve Chapman: Ever been stuck on an airplane or at a dinner party next to a humorless, opinionated know-it-all who won't shut up? If you enjoyed that, I imagine you'll be voting for Newt Gingrich. And I'm guessing you won't have much company.

Gingrich is a fount of ideas, most of them not nearly as good as he thinks, but he is sorely lacking in some qualities Americans like to see in their presidents: sober judgment, a bit of humility, personal charm. Gingrich has none of these. On the contrary, he's a verbal flamethrower with a grating sense of his importance.

Matt Bai: He imagined himself—and, reasonably or not, still does—as a lead protagonist in the history of his own time, a consequential character in the grand American narrative.

Jonathan Bernstein: Newt did not leave the Speakership because of a personal scandal, or even because of corruption charges. His problem was that he was an awful Speaker, and his conference in the House knew it.

Dan Balz: A keen intellect can also translate into the appearance of intellectual superiority. Gingrich speaks in the language of both superlatives and the Apocalypse. Nothing is understated, including his diminishment of his opponents. That will not wear well on the campaign trail, unless Gingrich finds a way to keep himself in check.

Andy Ostroy: I for one am thrilled that Gingrich is running, as I promise to be on him like a Republican Congressman on a House page. We'll relentlessly hound him for cheating on and shamelessly dumping two ailing wives. For having an affair with his much older high school teacher and his 22-years younger aide. For asking wife #2, Marianne, to "tolerate" his tawdry affair with future wife #3 Callista in some sick, kinky open-marriage fantasy. We'll resurrect the 1982 House Banking scandal and his 22 bounced checks. We'll remind everyone of the 1984 and 1995 book scandals and dust off the GOPAC scandal and illegal use of non-profit funds for political purposes. We'll expose his family-values hypocrisy 'round the clock like a McDonald's drive-thru, and slap him so hard with his lewd past that he'll feel like he went 15 rounds with Mike Tyson.

I had planned to balance the selection with some positive comments but had trouble finding any of interest. Let me know if you see any that are worth sharing.

I criticized Gingrich's odious comments about the "Ground Zero mosque" in a column last year.

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  1. Caption: “I believe we all know what needs to be done. But it’s best that we don’t speak about until we have most of them on the trains heading to the camps.”

  2. Newt Gingrich? Who the hell is Newt…oh, you mean Newcular Titties!

    1. Gets my vote the minute he makes the change official. Well, maybe not that minute, but when I’m legally able to vote. I’ll send him a check, too. Made out to Newcular Titties Gingrich, Future President of the United States of America.

      I write small.

  3. Newcular Titties certainly has plenty of dirt to dig out, this could be fun. I love the way Chapman tears into him, love it. If Titties does somehow win the nomination I simply can’t imagine him beating Obama. Well, I can almost see it, but what I can really see is plenty of mud-slingin Newcular Titties style.

  4. I wonder if he’ll last as long as Trump.

    1. Hey Newt, bring up Obama’s birth-certificate. We’d love the hear about that!

  5. Andy Ostroy: I for one am thrilled that Gingrich is running, as I promise to be on him like a Republican Congressman on a House page.

    So much win.

  6. “I criticized Gingrich’s odious comments about the “Ground Zero mosque” in a column last year.”

    What’s this ‘Ground Zero mosque’ all about? Why hasn’t reason covered this before?

    1. LA!

      1. Um… you’re mistaking me for MNG.

      2. Now you’re incifing MWG too?

  7. Don’t forget how he supported a Democrat over Ron Paul. Hope someone brings that up in a debate.

    1. But wasn’t his name Guliani?

  8. Is Newt holding some deadman’s switch of media scandal that he anticipates to hold off the inevitable double barrel questioning of everything newt or is he simply trying to self destruct in the most public way. BTW, will we get to meet wife #4?

    1. BTW, will we get to meet wife #4?

      Only if he wins the nomination.

  9. Newt Gingrich became SOTUSHOP before I had become libertarian. I had high hopes for him. I remember a “little red book” humorously called “Quotations of Speaker Newt”. I loved it. I thought things had really changed for the country. There were a few minor changes. Welfare Reform I think was a small step in the right direction. But overall, nothing fundamental. Looking back on it, I think it was gridlock more than anything else that helped (if ever so briefly) somewhat decrease the the rate of growth a tiny bit.

    1. The “Speaker of the United States House of Pancakes”?

      1. I was thinking “Speaker of the United States House of Pain”.

      2. OK, I missed a leg on my ‘R”. The leg key got stuck.

        1. Stop typing one handed while looking at pictures of Newt.

      3. US House of Pissants. Cut ‘im some slack.

  10. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    1. Exactly.

      1. Just another fat useless tub o guts that I won’t be bothered to pry my fat ass out of the Lazy Boy to support!

  11. I hope Newt stays in the race for a while. I think it is better to have more candidates in for longer, to prevent any particular candidate from gaining an advantage early and becoming the Anointed One. More debates equals more chances for the libertarian view to get heard.

  12. fun times ahead…

    Gingrich Switches Bailout Stance
    September 29, 2008 2:11 PM

    Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich reversed course on Monday, issuing a statement saying that if he were still in office he would “reluctantly and sadly” support the $700 billion Wall Street bailout bill.

    Gingrich, who led the charge against the bailout last week, explained his change in position by saying that the House Republicans, “reinforced by John McCain,” have improved the bill “significantly” so it is “less bad” than the original proposal offered by Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson.

  13. Let me know if you see any [positive comments] that are worth sharing.

    Well, he does a passable W.C. Fields imitation.

  14. For having an affair with his much older high school teacher

    You dawg, Newt.

    What a perfect representative of our ruling class he is. Arrogant, obnoxious, self-absorbed, no discernable principles, he’s the total package.

  15. For a boss once, I had to summarize a speech by Gingrich on the use of language in politics.

    The speech was engaging and informative–the guy can hold an audience.

    He’s definitely professorial–but I hated my professors. And US voters don’t like an egghead. They’re untrustworthy–like allowing a honey badger to babysit a fat, juicy infant.

    1. like allowing a honey badger to babysit a fat, juicy infant

      Nice simile. Newt’s? 😉

      1. Now *that* is quality nature documentary!

        1. I don’t give a shit!

      2. Christ, it’s true! Everything IS on the the Internet!

  16. Shouldn’t he at least wait to see what changes the Rapture brings to the playing field?

  17. Newt has little to no support on the Right. In the 2010 campaign he backed all the RINOs over the Tea Party candidates. Here is all the oppo anyone right of center needs on Newt

  18. Remember, Newt, you can run, but – you can’t hide…

  19. “…resurrect the 1982 House Banking scandal and his 22 bounced checks….”

    I am proud to say that Barbara Boxer, my fair Senator, holds the ckeck kiting record. I certainly hope Andy Ostroy, whoever the hell he is, doesn’t neglect to mention Babs every time he chides the cold-blooded amphibian, Newt, about his creative finances.

  20. I don’t know you Andy Ostroy, But I sure do like the cut of your jib!

  21. I don’t know you Andy Ostroy, But I sure do like the cut of your jib!

  22. For asking wife #2, Marianne, to “tolerate” his tawdry affair with future wife #3 Callista in some sick, kinky open-marriage fantasy.

    There’s some of that left-liberal open-mindedness I hear so much about. I hope Balko is having fun in the HuffPo cafeteria every day.

    (And fuck Newt for all I care, BTW.)

    1. You disagree that any fantasy involving Newt is fuckin’ sick?

    2. Exactly my thoughts. When I read that tawdry history of his, I said “Well, at least Newt has some redeeming aspects to him in his wild philandering and penchant for copulation.”

      You know you’re not a republican when these are the most redeeming qualities you can find in a Republican POTUS candidate.

  23. fuck Newt for all I care

    Apparently, you’ll have to get in line. The man appears to be a walking bunga bunga party.

    1. They don’t call me “Newcular” for nothing.

  24. Watch Newt Gingrich share his vision for a new American immigration system at the ’92Y: Politics & World Events’ series on FORA.tv (http://f4a.tv/dKZ1j9)

  25. You can’t find a positive comment and we’re told that this guy is in top tier?

    1. It’s a feature, not a bug.

  26. The ‘deplorablity’ of the affair with the High School Teacher depends upon the courses she taught. Was she a Math teacher?

  27. “In no sense is Newt Gingrich a conservative or even a traditional Republican. He was a fellow at the neocon (Zionist warmonger) criminal organizations… Newt Gingrich has also attended Bohemian Grove where he rubbed elbows with occultists and male prostitutes…he is a demonstrated liar.” ? Kurt Nimmo

  28. Gingrich is a fount of ideas, most of them not nearly as good as he thinks, but he is sorely lacking in some qualities Americans like to see in their presidents: sober judgment, a bit of humility, personal charm. Gingrich has none of these. On the contrary, he’s a verbal flamethrower with a grating sense of his importance.

    Sounds like he’d fit right in at the Gawker media sites if he only had the correct politics.

  29. I can’t believe nobody posted this one yet.

    http://0.tqn.com/d/politicalhu…..-clown.jpg

  30. Thank Jeebus that we finally have someone running who can counterbalance Ron Paul and Gary Johnson. After all, *someone* needs to represent the “death penalty for drug mules” wing of the GOP. (Anyone remember this? http://www.nytimes.com/1995/08…..asure.html)

  31. So Newt, you want to be President? Well, I want to bang Reese Witherspoon. Let’s see who gets lucky first!

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