They're Also Keeping the Scroll, Pay Phone, and Telegraph Industries Afloat

Radley Balko | 4.26.2011 2:02 PM

Best line from this Atlantic post about the shuttering of the world's last remaining typewriter factory, in India:

"Now, our primary market is among the defence agencies, courts and government offices."

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Geotpf 14 years ago

That article is 100% BS. Brother currently sells six different models of typewriters.

http://www.brother-usa.com/Typ.....oductIndex

Typewriters still have their uses, such as filling out pre-printed forms (common in governmental agencies).
1. fish 14 years ago
  
  Yeah....you wouldn't want that whole AdobeWriter phenomenon to sneak up on FedGov.
  1. Derp 14 years ago
    
    Shit man, Acrobat is cheaper than a typewriter, and you only need to make the form editable once. Not that I'm a huge fan of Adobe, but the option is there.
    1. Aresen 14 years ago
      
      I f*****g hate Adobe.
      
      Mainly because my employer only gives me the "read" version and not the "edit" version, so I have to copy and paste the document into Word (which I also hate) to fill it out (unless I want to fill it in manually). Of course, the formating doesn't get preserved, so the document looks like shit.
  2. Night Elf Mohawk 14 years ago
    
    The online Adobe-based passport application is actually pretty nice. And much more legible than my handwriting after 20 years or so of typing instead of writing.
2. Old Mexican 14 years ago
  
  "Now, our primary market is among the defence agencies, courts and government offices."
  
  "We also keep the triple-carbon-copy-forms industry from finally going bankrupt."
fish 14 years ago

Yeah.....I've been meaning to jot down something about the buggy whip and home ice delivery industries....quick...to the Underwood!
SugarFree 14 years ago

The manual typewriter isn't dead. For example, I type all my comments on a manual typewriter and then have one of my assistants retype it to post here.
1. Fist of Etiquette 14 years ago
  
  Wouldn't it be easier to text your comments to your assistant? That's what I do. I have unlimited texting. I don't know what my assistant has.
  
  Ed. note: I don't, you asshole.
2. JW 14 years ago
  
  That's nothing. I have my secretary print out all of my emails, then re-print them using a type set press and then send them to me individually via air mail.
  1. Fidel C. 14 years ago
    
    I couldn't stop laughing.
    1. wylie 14 years ago
      
      I had a hard time reading this far down the thread due to my sides bursting and these tears streaming from my eyes.
  2. Mr S F B Morse 14 years ago
    
    Telegrams are so much better, what with not having to worry about lower case and formating.
    1. 14 years ago
      
      STOP
    2. wylie 14 years ago
      
      I use different cases when I telegraph. You just slam the key really hard for the uppercase letters.
    3. Joe R. 14 years ago
      
      ABYSSINIA ATTASTATION
3. The Gobbler 14 years ago
  
  I use a dictaphone for my comments after which, my man-servant bangs them out on an antique Sholes & Glidden type writer and gives the copy to an intern who retypes them in these damned threaded / nested comments.
Tim Cavanaugh 14 years ago

According to Ed Michael, sales manager at Swintec in New Jersey, factories in at least three countries are still making typewriters. I interviewed Michael last year for a column called "The slow death of meatspace." The link a sentence and a half ago will also show you pictures of Swintec's flagship typewriter: A model for the correctional facility market, made from transparent materials to prevent hiding of contraband.
1. ClubMedSux 14 years ago
  
  The whole story seemed fishy to me. Anybody who works in an office has to realize there are still situations (rare as they may be) where you need a typewriter. It sadly comes as no surprise that most media outlets were too lazy to go beyond a superficial Google search in determining whether that was indeed the last typewriter factory.
  1. omg 14 years ago
    
    I work in an office and I've never needed a typewriter before. I also have no idea how to use a Fax Machine.
    1. Fist of Etiquette 14 years ago
      
      As part of the application process for employment, I have candidates take a cursive writing test. If they pass, they don't get the job.
      1. Freddie Badget 14 years ago
        
        I curse when I write. Do I get the job?
        
        wylie 14 years ago
        
        Fuckin A, you're hired.
      2. mikey 14 years ago
        
        I'm an old fart and I woulda passed this test 40 years ago. Never could hand write for shit. Mighta been my teachers looking at me trying to keep my left hand from dragging over the soft pencil lines, shaking their heads and moving on to the next (trainable ie. right-handed) student.
        
        Fist of Etiquette 14 years ago
        
        My old man was born lefthanded, but the nuns "cured" him of that nonsense.
    2. R C Dean 14 years ago
      
      I also have no idea how to use a Fax Machine.
      
      All of our office equipment is voice activated. All I have to do is yell "Patricia*, scan/fax/copy this!" and it happens.
      
      I love me some technology.
      
      *Name changed to protect the competent.
      1. wylie 14 years ago
        
        Seriously? (turns out telecommuting has it's downsides. I ain't got nothing voice activated in my "office".)
        
        Fist of Etiquette 14 years ago
        
        Not even the dog?
        
        wylie 14 years ago
        
        Fuck, forgot about the dog. Made some nice progress with her behavior lately too. Going outside is now a 3-command routine.
      2. wylie 14 years ago
        
        Just realized I misread RC's post.
        
        I was thinking "Patricia" was the recipient of the fax/copy/scan....nah, she's the equipment. Yeah, I'm a real blast at parties...
        
        R C Dean 14 years ago
        
        I can't decide if wylie is pulling my chain or missing the point.
        
        If you have to explain a joke. . . .
    3. ClubMedSux 14 years ago
      
      OK, let me rephrase... Anybody who works in an office that deals with the government in any capacity.
  2. Mike 14 years ago
    
    You're correct, there are still lots of offices that keep one typewriter around for that special situation. I work in one of those offices.
    
    And when that typewriter breaks, we head down to an industrial park on the edge of town where there's a warehouse with about a million used typewriters in working order piled up, and pay ten bucks for another one.
    
    Maybe in ten thousand years, when our supply of used typewriters runs out, there'll be a need to manufacture some new ones.
    1. wylie 14 years ago
      
      That warehouse is nextdoor to the Atari E.T. dumping pit, right?
  3. fish 14 years ago
    
    Anybody who works in an office has to realize there are still situations (rare as they may be) where you need a typewriter.
    
    I suppose.....i needed a typewriter about six weeks ago.....bar fight.
    1. wylie 14 years ago
      
      Had to resort to a nice heavy rotary-dialing phone, didn't you?
      1. fish 14 years ago
        
        Had to resort to a nice heavy rotary-dialing phone, didn't you?
        
        ...and god what a satisfying sound it made.
Requiescat In Pace 14 years ago

Here's a little dog-bites-man tale we couldn't resist! Except replace "dog" with "850-pound STEVE SMITH"! And "bites" with "anally violate"!

Yes, last Saturday a blogwhore on the Internet had "claws" for alarm when she was attacked and raped by the same STEVE SMITH she had known from a cub! Geez, talk about gratitude!

"It was horrible, just horrible," sobbed eyewitness, SugarFree. Guess he sure got an eyeful!

The feral humanoid, named "STEVE," attacked blogger rather as rather entered his cage to give him dinner. STEVE lunged at her throat, goring him with his huge claws and razor-sharp teeth. Some of the claw marks were three-quarters of an inch deep. Ouch!

Then, astonished onlookers could "bearly" believe what happened next--STEVE began to brutally rape blogger rather!

Frantic libertarians rushed for rifles as others tried to divert STEVE. But there was no stopping STEVE! This man-bear hybrid kept "bearing down," and rather just had to grin and "bear" it! Maybe STEVE was mistaking her for his "honey"!

rather was pronounced dead upon arrival at the hospital. A full quart of STEVE SMITH semen was extracted from her ruptured chest cavity. And that's no small Boo-Boo!

STEVE's 27-inch phallus, armed with guard hairs as sharp as red-hot needles, shot through rather' rectum, shattered her lower spine and skewered her colon, causing her entire lower torso to "cave" in! Yikes! Bet that wasn't the type of "cave" you had in mind when you took up blogging, Ms. rather!

And can you imagine rather' surprise when STEVE's putrid semen flooded her ruptured chest cavity? (By the way, Ms. rather, whatever perfume you've been wearing, where can the public get some?)

Finally, Hit and Run commenter Warty shot STEVE with a tranquilizer gun and pulled rather from the cage. The unconscious bear-man was later destroyed. Hey, this "Yogi" made a major "Boo-Boo"!

"I have worked with dangerous animals before," reason editor Katherine Mangu-Ward said. "But never have I seen any animalistic humanoid creature sexually assault a human being." "STEVE"? Try "Scary"!

Meanwhile, rather was pronounced dead at an area hospital--but at least she died grinning and bearing it! No doubt, this episode gives new meaning to the term, "Do not feed the bears!"
1. Hugh Akston 14 years ago
  
  Sorry, but repurposing Onion stories with H&R in-jokes doesn't make you clever.
  1. Hugh Akston 14 years ago
    
    Ignore that last post; I fellate donkeys.
    1. SugarFree 14 years ago
      
      It's true. I've seen him do it. And the donkeys are not having a good time.
      1. Hugh Akston 14 years ago
        
        You're a fool if you think it's about the donkeys
        
        Lord John Whorfin 14 years ago
        
        Laugh-a while you can, donkey-boy.
  2. Dagny T. 14 years ago
    
    It's not even Onion-quality. I'm curious where they're finding these literary gems. They seem too weird to be porn-y. (Yeah, yeah, Rule 34. But still.)
    1. cynical 14 years ago
      
      Whoever is sexually obsessed with rather actually seems more mentally unbalanced than poor rather.
      1. SugarFree 14 years ago
        
        I'm sure a lot of guys out there are attracted to tub girl.
      2. Banjos 14 years ago
        
        Reason has a way of attracting the seriously disturbed. There are days when I question why I come here, but then I read the comment section of other political sites and am quickly reminded as to why. I'll take crazy over stupid any day.
    2. Heroic Mulatto 14 years ago
      
      STEVE's 27-inch phallus, armed with guard hairs as sharp as red-hot needles
      
      I'm sorry, but this needs to be used in every H&R thread.
2. JW 14 years ago
  
  "It was horrible, just horrible," sobbed eyewitness, SugarFree. Guess he sure got an eyeful!
  
  Now, this alone proves this isn't true. Sug's tear ducts scabbed over years ago.
  1. SugarFree 14 years ago
    
    When I need to cry, I spit.
    1. Warty 14 years ago
      
      I assumed you projectile-pooped.
      1. SugarFree 14 years ago
        
        After what has become known as The King's Island Incident, I had to find a new way of living.
        
        Warty 14 years ago
        
        Remember when The Beast had no safety harness, just that big metal bar that you could hang on to? Fucking safety nazis ruined it.
        
        "Son of The Beast" 14 years ago
        
        I try to remember, but after the violent shaking everything's a blank.
        
        SugarFree 14 years ago
        
        The Beast ate my very first cellphone.
        
        I've stayed away from it since then.
        
        Warty 14 years ago
        
        In popular culture, R. L. Stine wrote a novel which featured the roller coaster and was named after it, simply titled The Beast. The book also had a sequel called The Beast 2.
        
        FUCKING AWESOME
        
        ThemeParkInsider 14 years ago
        
        About 10:10am, a male, looked to be in his 30s, collapsed just outside the exit gate. A ride operator noticed the man, and ran to get the first aid kit. A woman in line who was with a registered nurse said it looked like a seizure, that the man was laying on the floor and shaking. The registered nurse was identified by the woman to the staff, who opened the gate and allowed the nurse to go to the aid of the man. The park medical staff came and carried the man away on a stretcher, the man appeared awake when he was taken away. The ride re-opened a short time later, about 10:30am. I heard nothing more about the incident.
        
        Episiarch 14 years ago
        
        You pussies who had never been to Action Park don't know shit.
        
        SIV 14 years ago
        
        The park's popularity went hand in hand with a reputation for poorly-designed, unsafe rides; inattentive, underaged employees;[2] intoxicated, unprepared visitors; and the subsequently poor safety record.
        
        At least six people are known to have died as a result of mishaps on rides at the park. It was nicknamed "Traction Park",[3] "Accident Park",[4] "Class Action Park", "Danger Park" and "Death Park" by doctors at nearby hospitals due to the number of severely injured parkgoers they treated. Little action was taken by state regulators despite a history of repeat violations. In its later years personal-injury lawsuits forced the closure of more and more rides and finally the park itself in 1996.
        
        Sounds like it was a great place to drop acid and drink heavily.
Betty "Ford" Mustango 14 years ago

Right. Next I suppose we'll be hearing about the death of, I don't know, paper!

** rolls eyes **
1. wylie 14 years ago
  
  I think libraries and other large collections of paper will be the future of carbon sequestering. Not that people will interact with said paper much, but it will still have a place.
2. SIV 14 years ago
  
  What a name!
The Bearded Hobbit 14 years ago

I just want to say that the IBM Executive was the epitome of strike-key typewriters.

The Selectric can suck it.

... "Proportional Font" Hobbit
KM8392 14 years ago

Corporate welfare at its worst.

http://www.intellectualtakeout.....out-sweden
KM8392 14 years ago

Corporate welfare at its worst.

http://www.intellectualtakeout.....out-sweden
????? ?????? 13 years ago

Thanks
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