Reason Morning Links: Violence in Syria, Donut Tax, Arizona Birth Bill Gets a Veto

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    1. Damn you, damn you to hell!!!!!

      1. "Foist", not "Faust".

        1. If you want first post, I can make that happen. Just sign on the dotted line.

          ................

      2. You should have taken that left [toin] at Alba[koi]que.

        Brackets just for you!

  1. Golden gals gone nude at the World Erotic Art Museum - Page 1
    "I typed the words Golden Girls into my computer, and one of the first things that popped up was a link that read, 'Nude portrait of Bea Authur..."

    1. Now I know the terrorists have won.

  2. U.S. has been secretly backing Syrian opposition.

    "Nice things can only be done in secret..."

    "... like stealing babies and substituting them with dolls, or electronically robbing banks, or backing up rebels."

  3. Best newspaper URL ever:

    (read the link text)

    http://www.independent.co.uk/l.....69573.html

    1. Love the URL. First time I see some honesty in reporting, for a refreshing change!

      1. Yeah, I suspect that one of the IT dudes was having a laugh. 🙂

        1. Shame is that he'll probably be fired and forced to make a public apology.

          Wouldn't want to offend the world's richest welfare recipients or their fans.

          1. Speaking of which, I sniggered at Rob Huebel's twitter:

            2:52 am. Can't sleep. Too excited about Royal Wedding. Will the DJ at the reception play cool songs like 'Mustang Sally' so we can dance?

    2. It's a hoax; the number is the only part that matters, you can type any text string you like before that and it goes to the same article:

      http://www.independent.co.uk/l.....69573.html

      1. Ahh, boo. And I thought for a minute that I was cool.

      2. Thanks, Buzz Killington.

      3. People like you are the reason all the dinosaurs died!

  4. China "Discourages" Time Travel Plots On TV Shows

    In a statement dated March 31, the State Administration for Radio, Film & Television said that TV dramas that involve characters traveling back in time "lack positive thoughts and meaning." The guidelines discouraging this type of show said that some "casually make up myths, have monstrous and weird plots, use absurd tactics, and even promote feudalism, superstition, fatalism and reincarnation."

    The guidelines, which fell short of an outright ban of such dramas, seem to have come in response to a series of popular programs about protagonists drifting back to ancient times. For instance, in "Palace," one of China's hottest TV series, a woman falls in love with a Qing dynasty painting, travels back in time and then falls in love with several princes.

    1. So the Chinese aren't allowed to want to go back to before Progressivism killed 100 million of them?

    2. China, why do you hate Dr. Who?

      1. That's about the only thing China and I agree on.

        1. I'm with you on this, too.

        2. You and china can lick my balls. The new doctor sucks, but the show is still pretty good. I just wish Chris Ecclestone did more than the one season. He was the best doctor since Tom Baker.

          1. I spent several years of my childhood only being allowed to watch PBS. Dr. Who was my favorite show. I could never watch again after the Doctor regenerated into Tristan Farnon.

        3. Agreed. Time travel shows/movies (except Back to the Future of course) suck balls.

      2. but Back to the Future is okay, right? In movies, yes, teevee, no? That's my take.

        1. BTTF will now be a short film titled Back to the Present where Marty plays guitar, Doc Brown gets shot by Lybians, and then Marty takes his new bitchin' truck to the lake with Jennifer.

    3. Imagination is bad for you and bad for the state, which in turn, is bad for you. We will correct this fantasy problem through swift and effective reeducation measures.

      I really loved how in the olympics they stated over and over how there are no protestors in China. None. Just a few misguided youths who were then counseled. I really don't think their suppression can work forever.

      1. Don't annoy them further. They have their work to do.

        1. Just think about the average. What use have they for you?

          1. Forget about your silly whim. It doesn't fit the plan.

    4. Wait until Voyager makes it to China in syndication. The time travel do-over was the bread and butter of that particular Star Trek series.

      1. Lowest point of Voyager...

        The Gift or Threshold

        1. Which one was the one where Janeway and Paris mated as crocodiles?

          1. Threshold.

            1. Wait, there was a high point of Voyager?

              1. Well, there was Seven of Nine, I guess.

                1. BORG IMPLANTS!

                2. Those would be the "high points" rather than the "high point."

        2. True, but the high point of Voyager was that time travel two-parter with the guy randomly destroying civilizations and shit to try to get back to his own time line.

          That guy was AWESOME.

          1. Kurtwood Smith in space!

            1. It also has the best time travel paradox resolution ever.

              The one thing the guy never thought to try to destroy...yadda yadda yadda.

          2. I did like that part. Voyager wasn't terrible, it had it's moments. But it also had pretty much every terrible element from all the other STs jammed into a single bag. The worst being Neelix, or I liked to call him: Snarf.

            1. Snarf really hurt the show a great deal.

              They might have kept their audience longer if Snarf hadn't been around, and they had leaned more heavily on the holodeck doctor earlier instead.

              1. The best part of Voyager was that the ship's captain was bipolar. And the hot borg's funbags.

            2. Hoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!

            3. That's the response I give whenever some snot-nosed 22-year old starts to wax on the magnificence that is Voyager.

              "Neelix." I say. They slink away, swearing to never speak of it again.

          3. Wait, Sam Beckett went evil on Voyager?

        3. I didn't know The Gift was directed by Potsie.

      2. The Chinese government oughta love Star Trek. Star Fleet is pure Socialist fantasy.

    5. You know, I'm with China on this. Time travel episodes or arcs usually fall to pieces, logic-wise and are often silly. I forgive old shows like TOS for doing such episodes, because they had major budgetary constraints. Not so much now. Not to say that there's never been a good time travel episode, but it's a well that's drawn from a little too often. Like the holodeck on TNG.

      One time travel film I'd like to see, if it isn't screwed up, is The End of Eternity.

      1. Seriously, after about the third time the Holodeck tried to kill you, wouldn't you have taken that thing off the damn ship?

        Seriously, in the first two damn seasons, it tries to take control of the ship and tries to hold the captain hostage.

        I mean, yes, you want your crew to be happy, but you also don't want your flagship going AWOL because of a goddamn holodeck malfunction.

        C'MON FEDERATION!!!

        1. I tend to agree with Scott Adams who wrote that the holodeck would likely be society's last invention.

          1. Shit, it's kind of amazing those pinkos have technology at all, given that Picard is always lecturing that, "The Federation does not have money, and no one is forced to do things against their will."

            Um, okay. Then why the fuck would anyone be a non-Academy grad in Starfleet? Your ass is gonna die, and your wife and kids get... what, exactly? Their nation's undying gratitude?

            Sounds kinda fascistic to me.

            1. Then why the fuck would anyone be a non-Academy grad in Starfleet?

              Boredom.

        2. It's probably the holodeck repairmen union (HRO) that lobbies to keep them on ships.

      2. I've seen a lot of great shows with time travel arcs. But they invariably traveled forward in time.

        1. Don't all shows do that if you wait long enough?

      3. I will hammer punch you in the clavicle!!!

        1. Mother----ing squirrels, eh?

    6. I imagine they simply didn't want to see any reincarnations of Quantum Leap.

      1. PS, you best check yourself 'fore you wreck yourself.

        1. I was sent back in time to dis the Leap a few milliseconds before you posted.

          Now I'm off to my next assignment, writing an intellectually vacuous comment on Krugman's first column that will help turn him to the dark side.

          It's a living.

    7. Theorizing that one could time travel within his own lifetime, Dr. Hu Jintao stepped into the Quantum Leap accelerator... and was proven wrong. He awoke to find himself trapped in the present, facing mirror images that were still his own, and driven by his failure to change his life and country for the better. His only guide on this journey is Wu, a secret police "observer" from his own time. And so Dr. Jintao finds himself leaping from job to job, striving to improve China, and hoping that each job... will restore his lost honor.

      1. Truly awesome except for one thing -- it would actually be "Dr. Hu" since "Hu" is the family name and "Jintao" is the given name (and it would also thereby create another time travel joke).

        1. Wrong! His name was reversed by time.

          1. Like, total duh.

    8. For instance, in "Palace," one of China's hottest TV series, a woman falls in love with a Qing dynasty painting, travels back in time and then falls in love with several princes.

      Must...avoid...pron reference...

      1. No mention of the lastest sell-out crowds to visit the 3-D pron movie in Hong Kong?

    9. The story is the result of a bad translation. They're trying to discourage the perennially popular historical dramas based on classic Chinese history and fiction, for distorting the stories and possibly introducing ideas that contradict the current official PRC view of the history.

    10. I would think the Chinese would love the Terminator movies. One-way time travel, temporal paradoxes (guy orders his own father back into the past where he procreates with his mother before dying, SkyNet being built from a piece of a T-800 that didn't exist at the time, SkyNet changing from a monster supercomputer to a supervirus, etc.) and the theme that the future is inevitable. Humans, by screwing with the timeline, only delayed SkyNet's accendance to power and the war against the machines.

  5. U.S. has been secretly backing Syrian opposition.

    ....and Syrian government opens fire on protesters.

    That means Syria has opened fire... ON THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA!

    1. Infallible logic requires infallible action! Let loose the kinetics of action!

  6. "We must develop an argument that the market is a source of constraint and government an instrument of freedom."

    THIS IS WHAT STATISTS ACTUALLY BELIEVE

    1. Something like "freedom is slavery"?

      The libs are showing their New England Evangelical roots. Isn't it the christers who think being a slave to one thing or another is unavoidable, so one should choose to be slave to what they believe to be the Ultimate Force For Goodness And Niceness?

      1. No it's not the "christers" per se, but a section of "christers" who developed an eschatology called postmillennialism. Without chewing up too much of Reason's bandwidth, it states that perfect holiness on Earth must occur before the return of Christ. Therefore, good postmillennialists will do what is necessary to make the world nice and holy (interpret "necessary" as you will).

    2. When did "Orwellian" begin to develop a positive connotation among progressives?

      1. Did you know that there is a progressive group named, (as far as I can tell, without a trace of irony), Brave New Foundation?

    3. MNG argues for this ALL THE TIME, guys. This is not new.

      The number of people who are employers is smaller than the number of people who are employees.

      Therefore, constraining the liberty of the first set of people in ways that allow the second set of people to dick off and get paid for not working enhances the "freedom" of that second, larger, set of people, increasing the net amount of "freedom" in the system overall.

      There, I "developed an argument" in about ten seconds.

      1. maybe try misunderstanding conservatism too

    4. Cue Tony defending the right of the state over everything.

    5. How timely. My girlfriend gets that pathetic shitrag mailed to us (please withhold your derision) and I was just perusing that last night. If you think that quote is a gem, you really should check out the rest of the article. It's a rambling mess of bullshit platitudes about "positive rights", "freedom from want" and "protection from risk" and how all those things somehow equate to human liberty in the author's own bizarro world.

      1. Maybe they could use the brand/slogan "You Don't Really Want To Think, Anyway".

        Or maybe we could shorten that further to "Thinking Is Hard".

        1. Their promotional ad (why do magazines advertise inside of themselves anyway?) claims that Russell Simmons reads the Nation. Last month the same ad featured Dave Matthews. Draw your own conclusion.

      2. Re: Michael,

        "freedom from want"

        The only way one can be "free from want" would be if one is dead. You always want something, even if it is finding the remote control.

        1. Not to nitpick, but I think he was going with the old noun definition: something wanted or needed; necessity: My wants are few.

          Either way, he's still a dumbass villain from an Ayn Rand novel.

      3. Which issue and what's the article called? My curiosity has got the best of me.

        Accidental lulz: the May issue features an article titled "How Socialists Built America."

    6. The Quote is from The Nation not The National Review.

    7. I don't know about "arguments", but I have a pretty good three word slogan that sums that one up.

    8. To be translated "We must develop a creative argument which fits the 'facts' to our theories."

  7. EU wants to deploy ground troops in Libya. Who could have seen this coming?

    1. Me. Prediction: Somehow, a majority of those troops will wear an American flag patch.

    2. Then they can deploy their own goddamned troops. I detest how the EU seems to strongly hint that the US should be the military backbone of everything they want done. Well, the French are doing their own thing in Ivory Coast. Still, I get the impression that every foreign intervention ends up with US troops sent somewhere. Or am I crazy? I mean, we are a peace-loving nation, right?

      1. Frankly, I think our government wants to be the military backbone of everything, just because we don't really want anyone else to play that role. If any other country was able to do what we do militarily, the pro-defense folks would have a cow.

      2. I detest how the EU seems to strongly hint that the US should be the military backbone of everything they want done.

        Hey now. All of those fun social programs aren't going to pay for themselves and certainly not if the EU has to pay significant amounts of money on anything as dreadful as military spending.

        That's where American military hegemony comes in. We must subsidize the EU. Otherwise, they might get their dander up again and start another World War.

  8. Baseball fan wins 300 free donuts, gets hit with $237 tax bill.

    Actually, it was 300 free coupons for donuts and coffee...

    He could send the IRS a 1099 and $237 worth of coupons...

    1. That's what I was going to say. If the IRS is going to hole you liable for taxes on non-monetary transactions, then you ought to be able to pay in doughnut coupons.

      1. This brings up an interesting question:

        Should people be forced to pay taxes on the monetary value of coupons they clip from the newspaper?

        Because in all honesty I don't really see the difference.

        1. take that thinking a little further, they could just start taxing everything at it's retail value no matter what the discount is with or without a coupon.
          "Buy 1 get one 50% off*"
          *discounted items taxed at full value

          1. For sales tax they already do that.

          2. Or, they could tax things at the higher of what they're sold for and whatever the IRS thinks they're worth.

      2. I would have put a subtraction on my return for unrealized donut income.

      3. You would have to report income for barter transactions (but there would be an offsetting expense for what you trade), or payment in property. If I work for you and you paid me by giving me a $2,000 computer instead of cash, clearly I've earned income.

        Coupons though, well that's kind of bullshit. Nothing is earned until you cash those bad boys in. I wonder what kind of precedent there would be for that.

      4. "hole" you liable

        RC'z Law?

    2. I thought coupons had a cash value of 1/100 of a cent or something.

      1. The article uses the word, coupon, but in the context of the entire story it seems they should gave used the word, voucher.

    3. C'mon guys, donuts are the legitimate property of the state, just like everything else, including the money you pay your taxes with so what's the big deal?

      1. Spoofy spoof!

        (I think... It's hard to tell lately...)

      2. F.

        A little subtlety in your spoof, please.

  9. So, I am sure that Obama is going to be dropping depleted uranium bombs into Syria. I mean the whole point of dropping depleted uranium bombs into Libya is to "protect civilians" right? Civilians who happen to have tanks and anti-aircraft guns?

    1. Re: PIRS,

      I mean the whole point of dropping depleted uranium bombs into Libya is to "protect civilians" right?

      Actually, I don't think the US armed forces use depleted-uranium on bombs; they do use it for anti-tank shells (sabot), because it has more inertia and better armor penetration than tugnsten core sabots. Unfortunately, when they penetrate, they also become zillions of tiny particles that end up in the atmosphere; despite the name "depleted," those things are still radioactive.

      1. You may be right that they are not commonly used. But they are used. You are right that "depleted" does not mean the same thing as "zero radiation". They are dangerous - very dangerous. They fit the definition of "dirty bomb".

        1. So I should stay out of burned-out tank hulks? Got it.

          1. Re: Restoras,

            So I should stay out of burned-out tank hulks?

            Defintively, especially when fighting the Chinese invasion that, I hear, is near.

            1. I thought that had been changed to the NorKo's so as not to offend our Chinese brothers.

              1. I didn't get that change at all.

                I would have thought a better way to go would be to keep the Chinese as the invader, show them kicking a lot of American ass, and clean up in the China market.

                Add a minor character who is the "cool" Chinese occupier who "understands the rebels" better than the hidebound bureaucrat generals, and you totally clean up in Asian box office.

                I think there is an untapped foreign market out there for "Crush America" pron.

                1. Ex.: Battle Royale 2, Black Hawk Down...

                2. Play Homefront, a videogame based around a NOKO invasion in 2026.

                  You're a militiaman who literally gets to blasts the communists out of SF.

                  If only.

        2. not even close to a dirty bomb. the measurable radiation is about the same as an old microwave or color tv. try misunderstanding something else

          1. "not even close to a dirty bomb. the measurable radiation is about the same as an old microwave or color tv."

            So that must explain all the cancer that happens in areas where they are used - got it.

            http://www.globalresearch.ca/i.....a&aid=2374

          2. ""the measurable radiation is about the same as an old microwave ""

            A microwave oven uses radio waves, I don't think that's the same type of radiation.

            1. You know, it is becoming increasingly difficult to spoof OhioOrrin, surpassing the finding of Big Foot on the unlikeliness scale.

            2. sets off the geiger counter

  10. If mothers have mother's day and fathers have Father's Day, what do bachelors have?

    Palm Sunday.

  11. Woman who falsely accused Duke lacrosse players of rape has been charged with murder.

    Her prosecutor? Tike Tifong.

    1. I can just see his opening speech, "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I have personal experience that this defendent is a liar, a manipulator, and hater of men. Because she lied to and manipulated me to attempt to prosecute 4 innocent men who had done nothing but pay for her services as an entertainer."

      I might actually think Tifong had a soul if he did that.

  12. An editorial objecting to the Ryan budget plan in the WSJ today. He says this like it is a bad thing.

    There's more. The CBO report on the House Republican budget gives only decadal data. It shows federal spending dropping from 20?% of GDP in 2030 to 18?% in 2040 and 14?% in 2050, when the data stop. Fortunately, Mr. Ryan's January 2010 "Roadmap" ran the spreadsheet out to 2083. Those numbers show federal spending as a share of GDP dropping another 8.6 percentage points between 2050 and 2083?and they're still falling when the spreadsheet ends. Were that to happen, you wouldn't need a bathtub. A soap dish would do.

    Under the House Republican budget, deficits don't just shrink, they turn into surpluses around 2040. By 2050, when the CBO's analysis ends, the annual surplus is up to 4?% of GDP and rising. The national debt is down to 10% of GDP and falling. On that path, the national debt turns negative by about 2053?and keeps on falling.

    Now, none of this will happen, of course. So why look at such long-run projections? Because they reveal the underlying aspiration. While the House Republican plan achieves too little genuine deficit reduction over the next decade, it calls for much too much in the long run. The not-so-hidden agenda is clear: to shrink the government drastically.

    Paul Ryan's Reverse Robin Hood Budget
    http://online.wsj.com/article/.....40992.html

    1. Was this from yesterday, or is this the new party line? I mean, from this guy's lips to FSM's ears, but if this were true Paul Ryan would join Ron Paul as the second member of the "shrink government drastically" House caucus.

      1. Rand Paul's version gets this done in 5 years instead of 30. Neither is going to happen, but if you are going to buy in to a fairy tale, you might as well have a good one.

    2. Yes I saw that one too.

      It is more of the usual leftist drivel from Alan Blinder.

      Particularly irritating is the part where he calls it "redistribution" if taxes are NOT raised and entitlement program spending is cut (or capped).

      As if refraining from taking somebody's OWN MONEY away from them to hand out to somebody else constitutes a "redistribution" from the former recepient to the former payor.

      A perfect illustration into the mindset that believes that wealth is "collectively" owned.

    3. ""The not-so-hidden agenda is clear: to shrink the government drastically.""

      That's a feature, not a bug.

  13. "Arizona governor vetoes "birther bill"."

    My guess is that there is more to this story than meets the eye. Probably there was a rider on the bill she found objectionable. Personally, I do think Obama was born in Hawaii, but I see no problem with a law like this. I see no logical reason NOT have laws like this in all 50 states. If nothing else it would shut the birthers up and we could talk about important issues.

    1. Regardless, now we'll never know for sure if the man we call president is actually... AN ANCHOR BABY!

      1. He couldn't be an anchor baby because he already had a parent who was a citizen.

        What's the reverse of an anchor baby? Maybe we need a name for that. Maybe a "Frances Fitzgerald"?

    2. On the radio they said that she was concerned about one person (the secretary of state) having the sole power to keep people off the ballot.

      1. So perhaps if it were reworded she might sign it? This could still be interesting.

      2. Um, I'm pretty sure the secretary of state already has that power since that office has to certify candidates. So that's a bullshit excuse, she just doesn't think Obama was born in the US but still wants him in the White House.

        1. ur confused. brewer's not the sec of state in florida. and this aint Y2K

  14. http://dailycaller.com/2011/04.....lly-legal/

    Is the war in Libya legal?

    1. When the president does it, that makes it legal.

  15. U.S. has been secretly backing Syrian opposition.

    It's a complicated relationship.

    1. They're fucking doomed.

    2. "U.S. has been secretly backing Syrian opposition."

      Who could have imagined that?

  16. Volunteer cleanup in parks seen by city union as threat

    Chris Martin, president of the Seattle trash-collection company CleanScapes, offered to have his crews clean Westlake Park ? free of charge ? during the holidays. But union officials representing the city's parks-maintenance workers considered it an attempt to privatize city services and eliminate the union jobs of laborers responsible for downtown parks.

    Meanwhile the city is looking at closing parks and such because they don't have the money to keep them up. The irony glasses! They do nothing!

    1. If they do a better job than us for free, we're fucked. Must not allow.

    2. Not exactly "volunteers", since the workers themselves are getting paid.

  17. The people who ran that Dunkin Donuts contest really fucked this guy.

    When I was on Jeopardy they were ALL OVER YOU with the warnings that you should officially decline any prize you weren't going to actually use, because you would face both federal and state tax on it. Seriously, they were like Center for Disease Control hazmat suit wearing guys on their prize tax warnings.

    Dunkin Donuts must have just handed this guy an envelope full of coupons and run for the hills.

    1. Yeah, I appreciated the cautionary tale. I guess the correct answer would be to arrange a deal with the company to comp your visits to a single location or something, so there's no 1099 and no tax issue. Not that it is ever going to come up for me now that I know the issue exists.

      There's no such thing as magic, predestination or even luck, but jinxing a contest does work...

    2. "When I was on Jeopardy"

      You were on Jeopardy?

      1. Yes.

        Failed to bet enough at Final Jeopardy.

        Came in second.

        To my eternal shame.

        1. But they gave me a trip to Spain, which I immediately declined rather than pay the tax, as per the above.

          Seriously, they were CRAZED about that. Probably because California gets all over them about taxes, I assume.

        2. Failed to bet enough at Final Jeopardy.

          You lost by a dollar, didn't you? I hate the contestants that do that. They should be blackjacked then covered in honey and dropped in a den of Kodiak bears.

          1. He answered with a drawing of half his hand. He wagered the other half of hand.

  18. Have you ever considered that maybe the problem is you?

    Sky News reports that the survey found 48% of respondents felt frustration in fitting rooms, while 58% suffered disappointment. Half said they tried on clothes at home to avoid the problem, while 75% said they avoided trying them on at all (yes, these numbers are confusing ? more on that in a moment). All of these are apparently symptoms of "changing room rage" or CRR, which can allegedly "lead to shoppers snapping at retail assistants, storming out of stores and even losing self-confidence."

    1. As a larger woman I understand the feelings of scrutiny and embarassment that accompany any clothes shopping trip. When the attendant sees what size you are trying on and then chortles, awful. If people aren't willing to help big beautiful women look great in the sizes they need then they deserve any abuse they get. It's good to see the sizist attitudes in our society finally getting called out.

      1. If people aren't willing to help big beautiful women look great in the sizes they need then they deserve any abuse they get.

        Sorry, but there's really no way to make a muu-muu look attractive. Just ask Homer Simpson.

      2. Even I think you're way too fat.

        1. Lane, I wish I knew how to quit you!

    2. Sky News reports that the survey found 48% of respondents felt frustration in fitting rooms are overweight, while 58% suffered disappointment could be easily confused with a beached whale. Half said they tried on clothes at home to avoid the problem, while 75% said they avoided trying them on at all (yes, these numbers are confusing ? more on that in a moment). All of these are apparently symptoms of "changing room rage" or CRR being a fatass, which can allegedly "lead to shoppers snapping at retail assistants, storming out of stores and even losing self-confidence."

      1. You monster!

    3. Sounds like a vanity sizing issue. I recently encountered this shopping for men's pants and found it absurd.

    4. Don't snap at me. I didn't make your ass fat.

  19. Greenhouse gases drop to 15-year low...

    http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/dfc8.....ab49a.html

    1. Stop it, Pip.

      The science was settled years ago. No point trying to confuse us with new facts.

  20. Baseball fan wins 300 free donuts, gets hit with $237 tax bill.

    This story has been pretty visible here in Houston the past couple of weeks. The dude who won the donuts is a whiny bitch who needs to read stuff more carefully before just signs whatever is put in front of him.

    I probably hate the income tax as much as anyone else because it is a tax on labor - essentially, a tax on autonomy - but taxing winnings in a free contest is something else, especially when the stupid motherfucker signed the papers and therefore AGREED to pay the taxes before he actually received the prize. Then he gets the bill for a measly $237 and whines like a stuck pig, like Drayton McClain won his virgin daughter in a bet or something.

    I wish the Astros and Shipleys would have told him to go pound sand, but the media narrative basically forced their hand here.

    1. Not to mention that directing his ire at the Astros and the donut store was completely misplaced. His gripe about "fairness" should have been directed at the IRS, but the IRS is obviously hardcore and he figured he get further making a stink at the people who enabled him to get $1000 worth of donuts for 23 cents on the dollar.

      1. 300 donuts = $1000.00???? WTF? I bought a dozen donuts for $10. What kind of magical $3 donuts are these?

        1. It is Texas.

          The doughnuts probably weigh 14 pounds each.

        2. IIRC, the coupon was for a donut and coffee and he received 300 or so of them. Donut + coffee is about $3 or so at Shipley's.

          Frankly, going to Shipley's everyday sounds more like a punishment than a gift. The donuts aren't very good. You'd look like Spurlock at the end of Super Size Me.

          I think Fluffy's question about why we don't get taxed for coupons in the newspaper makes a lot of sense. I guess it was just easier for Shipley's and the IRS to just issue him a 1099 and not actually bother to figure out whether he used every coupon. I guess the guy could always sell the excess coupons on ebay or something. It wouldn't surprise me at all if the Astros screwed up mentioning the tax implications to him; they screw up most everything else they touch.

          1. Every time I feel bad about a decision I make turning out horrible I remember that the Astros could have had an outfield with Kenny Lofton and Bobby Abreu through their pre-free-agency years joining Bagwell and Biggio.

    2. So wait, Dunkin Donuts got him to sign a prize acceptance form acknowledging the taxes? Then he's kind of a dick.

      1. Shipley's. There are donut chains besides Dunkin Donuts.

        1. Tim Horton's. They are the one export Kanukistan has.

          1. I wish that were true, John.

            Bieber...

            1. Can a plaugue be counted as an "export"?

          2. Whoa, whoa, what about ice hockey, lacrosse, and Rush?

            1. Lacrosse? Really?

              Really?

              1. I'm sure the origins of lacrosse are a bit murky given their Native American origins but if memory serves (and it may not) I read somewhere once that it is the official sport of Canada. This struck me odd given the fits of madness Canadians fall into over ice hockey, and the elevation of Don Cherry as its unofficial patron saint.

                1. I read somewhere once that it is the official sport of Canada.

                  That's the saddest goddamn thing I've heard this month. And I had a co-worker die last week.

              2. Just another thing those murderin' Canucks stole from helpless Native Americans.

          3. Rush?

            And Tim Horton's sucks.

        2. Well, almost others besides Dunkin Donuts. The local Shipley's may be popular but their donuts are stale and dry.

    3. I think it is pretty shitty that you have to pay taxes on a non-money prize. What are you supposed to do if you don't have any money? If the IRS wants to make people pay taxes on non-money transactions, then they should have to accept alternative payment.

      1. I recall in the hey day of steroids in baseball that the IRS was on the lookout for whoever caught Bonds' home run ball that broke Hank Aaron's record. So they could collect thier due.

    4. So who wants to bet he'd have been better off just buying the 300 donuts? I can't find prices online but you could get 300 donuts for $200 at $8/dozen.

      1. That's what makes me skeptical. Why did Shipley's assign an inflated value to their donuts?

        1. Wasn't there a coffee component?

          A large coffee costs 2 bucks at these places.

          Thieves.

    5. ""Then he gets the bill for a measly $237 and whines like a stuck pig, ""

      Measly? Really? What's a donut cost? About a buck? $237 dollars tax on $300?

  21. and even losing self-confidence.

    "Reality has destroyed my self-confidence. It's just not fair."

    1. Sky News reports that the survey found 48% of allies felt frustration in American policy, while 58% suffered disappointment. Half said they tried bombing with their own planes to avoid the problem, while 75% said they avoided bombing at all (yes, these numbers are confusing ? more on that in a moment). All of these are apparently symptoms of "Not Another Target Obliterated" or NATO, which can allegedly "lead to countries snapping at allies, storming out of summits and even losing self-confidence."

  22. Timmay is making the rounds this morning, assuring everybody who will listen the government can easily live within its means as soon as it chooses to do so.

    1. I can quit anytime I want to.

      1. I can't quit you, Timmeh.

      2. I can quit coke anytime I want to. I quit 3 times last week.

    2. I can easily turn invisible at will as soon as I have the capacity.

    1. THe first comment is a winner "I like taxes because other people pay them and then I get free stuff".

      I am also curoius about how people go about calculating what the rich's fair share is exactly. The only idea that I can come up with is that if they still are rich, then they haven't been paying their fair share.

      1. i think it's a simple as anyone who makes more than them.

      2. the last comment seems almost like an an-cap argument. Pay your taxes or go to jail at gunpoint.
        perhaps there is some hope at the femfist.

      3. It's odd that they discuss politics at a site dedicated to fisting.

  23. "There's no such thing as a free lunch doughnut."

  24. NASA hands out 270m in private grants, remains fucking awesome.

    Yeah, NASA is the one organization I am totally non-libetarian about, and want to see get gold plated toilet seats.

    1. I wish they'd just hold a contest and offer to buy two from everyone who got past the "man-rated" post at some (slightly) inflated price. I mean, why the fuck does Elon Musk need $75M? He pisses that away on Tesla in 6 months. He has a $1.6B contract already. I love me some private space in general and SpaceX in particular, but I don't see any need to completely sell my principles for man-rated capsule subsidies. (I believe I'm already on record as saying the price of my principles is a working space elevator.)

    2. NASA is the one organization I am totally non-libetarian about

      I worked there. They are as good as any other federal agency at wasting your money. Nothing to get excited about.

    3. You know what's sad? Everyone acts like what Obama did here is a punishment, and that NASA is screwed now, whereas the truth is, this could be the beginning of actually, you know, getting some shit done.

  25. And not a single one of you fuckers mentioned that today is Balko's birthday, and he still got up and did his chores this morning! Thanks, Radley, and have a great birthday, dude!

    1. It's like I want to kick in his door and shoot his birthday cake 33 times...

  26. http://content.usatoday.com/co.....xt-time-/1

    Apparently a reporter dared question the chosen one

    1. I think that Obama ought to be called "the explainer". He seems to believe that everyone would just agree with him if they would just listen to his explanations better, or if he could just explain things one more time.

      1. Obam'splaining?

        1. Me likey!

    1. To be fair, the first review was pure fucking shit. If your first three paragraphs are all about how you hate fantasy and would never, ever read it and everyone who likes it is a sister-raping retard, maybe you shouldn't be reviewing a fantasy TV show.

      1. "sister-raping retard"

        Annnnd stolen. 🙂 To be used in a pub soon.

        1. As the someone here (I forget who) who likes to mess with hyphens, that could be:

          sister raping-retard

          I wonder what convent and order she's with.

          1. sister raping-retard

            Whoopi Goldberg's best movie

      2. I just finished AGoT in book form, and I'm pretty sure that the retards were the only ones who weren't into sister-rape. Note: This should not be taken to mean that I didn't like the book, just that George Martin was not shy about using real royalty as templates for his fantasy realm.

        1. From watching the first episode of the show of the two sisters that did have sexual relations with their brothers at least 50% seemed to enjoy it, and the other 50% would be better described as being molested rather then raped.

      3. I didn't read the books or the review, but I watched the first episode last night and thought it was FUCKING AWESOME. I'm excited for this show.

        1. eh

          I will probably watch the show until it is canceled...but i was not really impressed.

          It was no Rome let alone a Sopranos.

          Also the show i think is going to take the form of killing off the characters i like while keeping the ones i hate.

          For it to be truly good it would have to kill off the two groups in equal numbers.

    2. I tuned into HBO last night and they had the first episode of "Game of Thrones" running simultaneously on 5 of their channels.

      I'm sure HBO spent a lot of money producing the series and wants to promote it but tying up 5 channels at once on the show is ridiculous.

  27. Seattle needs a rigorous system of licensing for its park maintenance crews. Picking up cigarette butts and McDonalds wrappers is exacting work, requiring many years of training (in the classroom and in the field) and a demonstrated level of skill and commitment.

  28. Pretty decent Danzig cover. Vocals aren't mic'd very well though ...

    http://www.avclub.com/articles.....zig,53066/

    1. Hey, that cover was my suggestion! Winning!!

    1. The varieties of geek never fails to amaze me.

    2. Number 1 of the Top 100 Things Dr. Sam Beckett doesn't want to hear right after he leaps:

      "Sarah Connor?"

      1. Number 1 thing he does want to hear?

        "Mr. Hefner, the new bunnies are waiting..."

  29. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....rders.html

    Looks like Charlie's been reading Earth in the Balance during his spare time.

    1. That was one pretty girl. What a shame.

    2. Are people serious!? Someone who believes in global warming is a nutter!? ANYONE with even half a brain who actually looks into global warming knows that it is an undeniable fact. These are some of the most depressing comments I have ever seen. Liking Obama to Manson.. get a life and worry about real problems, like global warming.
      - John, London, England, 19/4/2011 15:43

  30. This is a "must watch" video.

    http://video.google.com/videop.....667516012#

    1. That is awesome.

    2. i hate you.

    3. Favorite part - interviewers running away.

    4. Morley Safer really let himself go.

    5. Who's awesome?

      You're awesome!

    6. A must watch at work video, no less.

    7. NSFW you bastard.

  31. i believe in equilibrium.... I'm a little high.

  32. Why can the governor veto the birther bill? The constitution says it is the state legislatures who decide how the electors are elected.

  33. What a suprise: Report finds that regulations cost the economy 1.75 TRILLION dollars in 2008

    The nation remains stuck on the debate over how Washington taxes and spends, but lost in the shuffle are the trillions of dollars Americans spend every year just to comply with federal regulations.

    Wayne Crews, vice president for policy at the Competitive Enterprise Institute, combed through the 81,405 pages of the Federal Registry ? which contains the nation's regulations on businesses, and state and local governments ? and cites a report showing that regulation cost the economy a whopping $1.75 trillion in 2008.

    "Without regulations, businesses would do whatever they please!"

    Yeah, like making money, growing the economy, producing the goods and services people want... Yeah, pure evil.

    Fuckers.

    The report also finds:

    ? In 2010, federal agencies issued 3,573 final rules.

    ? While agencies issued 3,573 final rules, Congress passed and the president signed into law a comparatively "few" 217 bills. Considerable lawmaking power is delegated to unelected bureaucrats at agencies, an abuse addressed recently in proposals such as the REINS Act.

    ? Proposed rules in the Federal Register have surged from 2,044 in 2009 to 2,439 in 2010, a jump of 19.3 percent.

    ? Of the 4,225 rules now in the regulatory pipeline, 224 are "economically significant" meaning they wield at least $100 million in economic impact?this is an increase of 22 percent over 2009's 184 rules.

    ? Given 2010's government spending (outlays) of $3.456 trillion, the regulatory "hidden tax" of $1.75 trillion stands at an unprecedented 50.7 percent of the level of federal spending itself.

    ? Regulatory costs exceed all 2008 corporate pretax profits of $1.463 trillion.

    ? Regulatory costs dwarf corporate income taxes of $157 billion.

    ? Regulatory costs tower over the estimated 2010 individual income taxes of $936 billion by 87 percent?nearly double the level.

    ? Regulatory costs of $1.75 trillion absorb 11.9 percent of the U.S. gross domestic product (GDP), estimated at $14.649 trillion in 2010.

    ? Combining regulatory costs with federal FY 2010 outlays of $3.456 trillion reveals a federal government whose share of the entire economy now reaches 35.5 percent.

    (Unfortunately, the provided link to the report is not currently working.)

    1. When did the word trillion become so casually accepted? That used to seem like an impossible number.

    1. My guess is probably not - most will consider it beneath them and deserving of something at leat as good if not better than they. Easy pickin's in the cougar market a few years from now.

    2. Will men marry a fat woman...

    3. I also predict "no".

      They would only marry down if they were guaranteed that no other women would see them do it.

      It's not the man who is the issue, it is the opinion of other women that is at stake here.

      1. "It's not the man who is the issue, it is the opinion of other women that is at stake here."

        100% DOBA.

    4. Re: AU H2O,

      Will women marry down?

      If they weren't already, Judge Judy would not have a successful TV show.

      Duh.

    5. WINNER


      I have met many a college grad waiting tables and have met many high school grads guys like plumbers for example who make six figure incomes. Little Miss Higher Education better be careful or she will end up growing old with her five cats.

      1. Yeah, I really liked that comment.

  34. The Loneliness of the Civil Libertarian Feminist

    Good link, and not merely because my expectations were low.

  35. Wow, should be itneresting to see how that turns out.

    http://www.total-privacy.int.tc

  36. Oh hell, I almost forgot:

    HAPPY COLUMBINE DAY, BITCHES

    1. isn't it tomorrow?

      1. tomorrow is also smokemyselfrtardedday!

        1. Why do you hate brownies?

      2. No, tomorrow is Hitler's birthday. Slappy must be so excited.

  37. RE: "Baseball fan wins 300 free donuts, gets hit with $237 tax bill."

    Why doesn't he just eat 2/3 of each donut and send the rest to the IRS? (By snail-mail, of course.)

    1. It was actually 300 coupons for donuts. And, it was already suggested above to send the IRS $237 worth of something... by yours truly 😉

  38. India, and the Economic Folly of a College Degree

    By John Tamny, Forbes Magazine

    Though politicians, educators and their media enablers would have us believe that the act of earning a college diploma makes short people tall, turns bad writers into Somerset Maugham, and the mathematically challenged into highly-paid engineers, reality is happily intruding. What's going on in India is a good example.

    As Geeta Anand reported in the Wall Street Journal, though call-center company 24/7 Customer Pvt. Ltd is eagerly searching for "recruits who can answer questions by phone and e-mail", it's found that "so few of the high school and college graduates who come through the door can communicate effectively in English, and so many lack a grasp of educational basics such as reading comprehension, that the company can hire just three out of every 100 applicants." This is our future.

  39. Baseball fan wins 300 free donuts, gets hit with $237 tax bill.

    MUAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

    My donut fascist movement is gaining everyday!!!

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