Reason Morning Links: Protests in Syria, Snooping in Madison, Lab Sperm in Japan

• Mass protests continue in Syria, despite a crackdown.
• Harry Reid urges Democrats to fight the Kochs by…donating to a group that gets money from the Kochs.
• The Wisconsin GOP tries to use the state Open Records Law to read a critic's emails.
• Jerry Brown makes some budget cuts.
• Uganda's anti-gay bill looks dead.
• NATO plans to take command of the Libya no-fly zone.
• Japanese scientists grow sperm in a lab.

The latest from Reason.tv: "Why They Fought."

Comments

[Jaime Hither]

Harry Reid urges Democrats to fight the Kochs by...donating to a group that gets money from the Kochs.

Always with the anti-prostitution.

[Fist of Etiquette]

Harry Reid urges Democrats to fight the Kochs by...donating to a group that gets money from the Kochs.

Don't the Kochs curve to the left on several issues?

[Pro Liberace]

+1

[Fist of Etiquette]

The Wisconsin GOP tries to use the state Open Records Law to read a critic's emails.

Hey, at least the Repukes try to go through proper channels in their mad rush to transparency, unlike certain wikileakers (I think) I could name.

[SFC B]

As someone who has had to compile information to comply with a couple of FOIA requests in my time, I have zero sympathy for professor Cronon. He's a state employee and they are clearly asking for his email from his state email address.

I'm just a dumb Soldier and even I know not to use my .mil or .gov addresses to write anything I wouldn't want read on the 6 o'clock news.

Live by the FOIA, die by the FOIA.

[Joshua]

yeah, I don't understand the outrage. FOIA's been used for this kinda crap for years now.

[Brett L]

But this time its an evul Republican governor oppressing a selfless worker with laws that were designed to bring down evul Republicans.

[SFC B]

I went to the professor's personal blog and, really, his argument boils down to what you said.

[prolefeed]

Less than two days after Cronon published the blog post, the Wisconsin Republican Party filed a state open records request to gain access to Cronon's personal emails to get a look at what communications or discussions or sources or anything else went into writing it.

Now, 'personal' is up for some reasonable debate here. This is his university email. And he's a Professor at the University of Wisconsin, the state university.

Sorry, but not buying the notion that an email sent on a government computer, by a government employee, quite possibly on government time, is in any way a private email.

They start going after his emails sent from his home computer on his private time, THEN you can be outraged.

[MattXIV]

Not the least bit sympathetic to Cronon. Being able to request employee emails is one of the most useful aspects of FOIA for imposing accountability, since it allows the establishment of timelines and provides insights into motivations and actions that don't show up on official forms.

[Rich]

Brown on Thursday signed 13 measures trimming $11.2 billion from the state's $26.6 billion deficit [, with $8.2B] considered actual spending reductions.

So this year he's spending $18.4B more than he takes in. California should be OK again real soon.

[GSL]

Yup. Prosperity is right around the corner.

[Jess Asken]

security forces were accused of storming and massacring people in the city's main mosque

What is it with Muslims killing "church-goers"?

[The Ghost of Willie Sutton]

Because that's where the martyrs are.

[Pro Liberace]

They hate them for their church-going freedoms.

[Terr]

Is Japan expecting a surge in bukkake activity?

[Pham Nuwen]

Stand back! There is about to be some science going on!

[db]

Japanese scientists  grow sperm in a lab.

I, for one, welcome our new bukkake robot overlords.

[SugarFree]

Suck it, Duke.

UK will probably lose tonight, but at least those turdburglers are going home.

[Montani Semper Liberi]

The got absolutely destroyed. Derrick Williams dunking on Singler's face is the high point of the season for me.

[California]

Derrick Williams was indeed impressive. In fact, he's the only college player I've seen this year who looks at all talented.

College ball really, really sucks.

[Josh Harrelson]

he's the only college player I've seen this year who looks at all talented

YOU DOUBT JORTS? JORTS IS DISPLEASED BY THIS.

[Finchy]

Between Duke and BYU, it was a tough night for white boys. At least Chandler Parsons and his stupid, stupid face eked one out.

[Pro Libertate]

Hey now!

[Butler]

I thought we did pretty well last night, but maybe that's only because we played also-white Wisconsin.

[Pro Libertate]

Anything can happen, but I think Florida is going to be playing in the Final Four.

[J sub D]

Attacking labor unions?waging war on women's rights?defunding NPR?repealing health care reform. The anti-worker, anti-woman, anti-Obama Republican agenda just proves that their priorities are seriously out of whack. How is any of this supposed to create jobs?

And cowboy poetry festivals. We need more federally funded cowboy poetry festivals to revitalize America's moribund economy.

[Fred Subsadee]

There once was a cowgirl named Alice ...

[sloopyinca]

...Whose ranch was a veritable palace....

[Carl O'Kee]

... But her ranch hand's angina ...

[db]

...forced a move to Regina...

[Ky Voter]

...now she's thankful her brand is a phallus.

[hugeevilrobot]

I love this bar.

[John]

If only it were true. If the Republicans could live up to even a quarter of the liberal slanders, the country might have a chance.

[sloopyinca]

There once was a farm-hand named Mitch...

[db]

...whose sister crocheted a mean stitch...

[sloopyinca]

...She knit him a sweater...

[db]

...but he went one better...

[D-oh]

... by winning a game of Quiddich...

[Roddy Hilper]

Japanese scientists grow sperm in a lab

That takes real spunk.

[Japanese Scientists]

Thanks for egging us on!

[Jo[h]nny L[o]ngtors[o]]

Did Qaddafi Deserve U.S. Funding? Foreign Aid Under Scrutiny Amid Mideast Unrest
While President Obama calls Libyan leader Muammar al-Qaddafi a threat to his own people, just one month before attacking Libya the president asked Congress to increase U.S. aid for Qaddafi's military to $1.7 million. ...

[The Koch Brothers]

Obama wants $120 million for Yemen next year

We bid $130 million, and we'll take it now!

[Devil Inchoate]

How much for Somalia?

[Barack Obama]

Let me be clear.

I warned you about this kind of stuff.

[Enjoy Every Sandwich]

You don't actually expect our overlords to pay attention to what they're doing, do you? As several posters here constantly remind us, that wouldn't be pragmatic.

[Jo[h]nny L[o]ngtors[o]]

Why didn't the cops just go around the barricade, or just let go and let the old lady push it over?

The 8 Most Ridiculously Badass Protesters Ever Photographed

[Montani Semper Liberi]

Wow, that is the biggest FAIL list I've ever seen. Where Tiananmen Square tank man? Where?

[Pro Libertate]

Dude stopped a tank with his will. Wins.

Also, Gandhi and burning monk dude.

[Yorkie]

Burning monk....peacefully self-immolating...an image you can never un-see.

[wingnutx]

Where is "pissing in the direction of riot cops" guy?

[Old Mexican]

My Websense filter tells me it's "Tasteless."

I will have to see it at home.... wink, wink.

[Rich]

Your "Badass" Websense filter, apparently.

[Pro Liberace]

Oh, Websense. I won't even try it then.

[Clich? Bandit]

iPhone TO THE RESCUE!

[sloopyinca]

Why didn't the cops just go around the barricade, or just let go and let the old lady push it over?

Why didn't one of them just chuck a few quarters on the ground beside her? She is Jewish after all.

[wylie]

Pennies. Remember, there's a budget crunch goin on, so you have to make do with the cheapest effective option.

[Jeffersonian]

It didn't inclue the Tienanmen guy in front of the tank. Inexcusable.

[Barely Suppressed Rage]

"New professionalism" shoots chained dog six times.

[Abe O'Logist]

Probably the chain was attached only to the dog.

[Barely Suppressed Rage]

Um, wut?

Here's a little more about the story.

[Rather]

Six bullets? Was it a zombie dog?

[Rather]

Btw, i'm apparently unbanned now, so suck my dick, helle

[Rather]

You had me at suck

[Rather]

lick my hairy bean bag, helle. now go get my coffee bitch

[-H-]

...

[Rather]

and milk for my coffee, a razor for my pubes. I hope you're gay, or I'm charging you with assault

[mad libertarian guy]

This. And 6 shots STILL didn't kill it.

And I'm supposed to believe that this cop will be my savior in a time of great need. Sounds like she couldn't hit the fucking broadside of a barn.

[Old Mexican]

The owner, who was just coming outside to get his dog, says the officer was standing approximately 30 feet from the end of the dog's chain when she put half a dozen bullets in the dog.

"The dog got in the path of the bullets! It ain't my fault!"

Or, the dog was acting funny:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=25_MNd-RDa8

[Tim]

Ain't never shot a dog but possums and raccoons can be awfully hard to kill. I reckon that dawg had it coming.

[Zeb]

Here is the question I always want to ask when something like this happens: What happens to me if I walk onto someone's property uninvited, feel threatened by their dog and shoot it with the gun I am legally carrying?

[Barely Suppressed Rage]

You get arrested and charged with discharging a firearm in a residential neighborhood, brandishing a firearm, animal cruelty, use of a firearm in commission of a crime, criminal trespass, and anything else they can think of, and the homeowner files a civil suit against you for trespass, destruction of persponal property, conversion, and infliction of emotional distress.

[Old Mexican]

Same sex marriages give polygamy a boost

And not a moment too soon, I might add!

[Restoras]

Why anyone would want more than one wife is beyond me.

[Old Mexican]

The problem is not having more than one wife. It's having more than one ex-wife.

[Restoras]

This is something else I don't get. Why would anyone get married...again?? Didn't learn the first time so give it another go?

Fekkin' torture, how does it work?

[J sub D]

I fell off my bike the first time I tried to ride it. It hurt.

My first marriage was a complete disaster. So was Donna's first. We got it right the second time around.

[Mainer]

I think everyone should get one do-over. Second marriage: OK, you made a mistake, you learned, you did better. Third marriage ? what's your problem ?
And folks that divorce and then re-marry...WTF

[SugarFree]

It seems to me that either one wife or more than three wives. Two wives is where the real trouble would lie.

[Restoras]

The thought of this makes me cower in fear and break out in a cold sweat of terror. It would be worse than living in a real Silent Hill.

[SugarFree]

I think the biggest barrier would be the fact that my wife mostly hates other women.

[Pham Nuwen]

Put ecstasy in her drink. Then see how much she hates other women. Adjust dosage as necessary.

[Rather]

woman who hate woman are the best at satisfying each other

[Rather]

i'd love to have a mouthful of your wifes snatch while you hit me from behind, sug. name the time and place

[Rather]

Are you having an orgasm spoofing me? Was the wait a tease?

[Pham Nuwen]

I'm not sure who to believe . . .

[SugarFree]

Always bet on black, Pham.

[Wesley DNS Snipes]

Always bet on black, Pham.

Damn straight, nigga! Now, get me outta this trip!

[SugarFree]

FREE WESLEY!

[Pham Nuwen]

I like to think Wesley is cleaning up our prisons. Kicking the shit out of deserving inmates. Keeping the guards in line. And banging the wardens daughter in his office. God speed Wesley! Fight the good fight!

[Pham Nuwen]

Except when HnR trolls are involved or taxes.

[Wesley not DNS Snipes]

My ass is getting cleaned up in prison. Deserving inmates are kicking the shit out of it. Keeping the guards in line for the show and I'm banging the warden in his office. Slow the speed! I cried. Not fighting this; it feels good!

[Ted S.]

That's racist!

[Pro Liberace]

Nothing silent about it.

[NoVAHockey]

"I hear digging, but I don't hear chopping"

[Brett L]

In a divorce, each wife only gets 1/(#wives+1) of your assets.

[db]

To generalize, that would be

1/(#wives +#you)

Does that mean that MPD patients keep more of their assets?

[Brett L]

I don't know, but I did realize after typing it that my formula applies equally to monogamous marriages.

[prolefeed]

Why anyone would want more than one wife is beyond me.

Because variety is good.

The trick is to get good wives who won't go all huhu on your ass over the other woman you're fucking. If they're bad wives, even one is too many.

[joshua corning]

Same sex marriages give polygamy a boost

I am imagining a 300 lb Jennifer with three to four 20 year old pool boys hanging around in her apartment.

*shudders*

[Brett L]

Record companies go full Dr. Evil.

"As defendants note, plaintiffs are suggesting an award that is 'more money than the entire music recording industry has made since Edison's invention of the phonograph in 1877,' Wood added. 'The absurdity of this result is one of the factors that has motivated other courts to reject Plaintiffs' damages theory.'"

[Brett L]

Sorry, I cut the lede. Record companies asked for $75 TRILLION in damages from LimeWire.

[DNS]

Record companies asked for $75 TRILLION in damages from LimeWire.

Well, the record companies will be able to pay off the national debt for us if the record companies actually receive that award. They can even fund ObamaCare and leave us out of it. Right Tony?

[capitol l]

As several commenters pointed out we could pay the national debt with the taxes gained from the lawyers fees alone.

Fuck you limewire, America must be great again. Now pay up.

------------------

I bought an album a couple of weeks ago and when my buddy came over I played it for him. Will I be sued, because that is obviously p2p?

[Pro Liberace]

I recall some old article where Nintendo tried to make the case that used game sales were the "Gray Market".
So, yes: if they could charge your friend for listening to the song, they would.

[alan]

Back in the early nineties due to the recording industries war on DAT -- an attempt to limit the availability of the technology to the nonprofessional public through the courts and their political flunkies -- I refused to by anything that wasn't from a used record store or yard sale. I had quite a collection, mostly metal and jazz.

[alan]

I remember typing that 'u' out in 'buy'. By crappy.

[capitol l]

When I was in high school I was really in to audio gear; I worked jobs just to buy speakers.

Anyway, I remember almost buying a DAT(there were two formats, correct?), but didn't because you had to order the tapes where I lived.

I almost bought a laser disc player for over $500, but wisely chose against. Instead I got one of those sony hifi 4head vcr's with the turn dial...fucker was like $400.

And people say that wages are stagnant.

[gaijin97]

I bought an album...
What is this thing, this "album" of which you speak?

[Pro Liberace]

You see: when a label loves an artist VERY much...

[Zeb]

Jesus. Why not just say 10 Bazillion?

[RIAA Goon]

Hello, China? That's right, all the tea..

[Tulpa]

It's $7.5 trillion actually -- but still ridiculous.

[cynical]

Well, they are Evil, so it was probably inevitable.

[Resto Druid FTW]

Lulz, if successful, that judgement would not even be worth the paper it's printed on...

[SugarFree]

OMG, FYI, and LOL enter Oxford English Dictionary

And the ? symbol. Which isn't even a word. Save that for the Oxford Visual Encyclopedia of Pictographs.

[Old Mexican]

They left out MILF, my favorite.

[Brett L]

Moro Islamic Liberation Front? I'll bet those guys hate the internet.

[Resto Druid FTW]

Can I has moar MILFS?

[Ky Voter]

WTF?

[Brett L]

Serious question: does anyone buy physical OEDs anymore?
Less serious question: And if not, how are people who don't know what lol means find it in the online OED?

[SugarFree]

It's getting less common. Mostly they buy a site licence for users on the OED website.

[John]

I would love to have an old copy of the OED. It is a fabulous work. And I can live without the newer words.

[SugarFree]

I've seen them at library sales. I've always thought about getting one, but they are so huge. Now if you could score one of those free-standing lecterns to keep it on at the same time...

[John]

Those kick ass

[pancakes]

Lecterns, fuck yeah!

[capitol l]

You can never buy a lectern by itself, it always has to go with a globe bar.

[capitol l]

I think that you actually may need to put the book on the lectern. I have a couple of unabridged dictionaries (no lectern) and the spines crack under their own weight from opening them from a fully closed position.

[Zeb]

I have the compact edition of the older edition which is great, but it's still two huge volumes with almost impossibly tiny text.

[Pro Libertate]

Thus does the OED fade into nothing more than a very heavy version of Wikipedia.

[Pro Liberace]

"Thus does the OED fade into nothing more than a very heavy version of Wikipedia Wiktionary.org."

Possibly even more sad.

[Jersey Patriot]

I, for one, support the complete abandonment of a phonetic writing system!

[Brett L]

I blame IKEA.

[Old Mexican]

Census Data Shows a Changed American Landscape

"The expansion in the Hispanic or Latino population crossed the 50 million mark for the first time in 2010, making people of Hispanic origin the second largest group in the country. The total Hispanic population in 2010 was 50,477,594 or 16.3 percent of the total population, a 43 percent increase from a decade ago," reports ABC.

Well, well, well! Now, THAT changes things!

[John]

The problem with that number is that it doesn't mean anything. Is someone who has maybe 1/4 hispanic blood really an "hispanic" within the meaning that they are implying?

[Pro Liberace]

For that matter, does calling both a Puerto Rican and an Argentinian "Hispanic" imply any meaningful similarity between the two?

[joshua corning]

being Hispanic is a cultural affiliation.

There are literally millions of native americans in Latin America who do not have one drop of Spanish blood but none the less are "hispanic".

[joshua corning]

Well, well, well! Now, THAT changes things!

I for one welcome are new Spanish speaking overlords.

[joshua corning]

On a side note you may be an old Mexican Old Mex but your kids are all middle aged Americans.

[Pip]

Si.

[SugarFree]

Massage Therapist Arrested For Assault After Woman Learns He Isn't Gay

[Rich]

"I don't like this any more than you do, Honey."

[John]

I don't see how "touching under false pretenses" makes something assault. If someone told you that they were a doctor and you let them touch you, would that be assault? It would be a crime, but not sure if it would be assault.

[SugarFree]

In the case of the fake doctor, I think that is assault. You are not being given the chance to make informed consent due to their fraud.

In this case, she assumed he was gay, consented, and then retroactively withdrew her consent when she found out he wasn't gay. Not assault. He accept her consent in good faith.

Although there is an issue that in that state the massaging of the breasts requires additional licensing that he did not possess. It is unclear if he led her to believe that he did.

[John]

It is very strange. It is okay to rub my breasts as long as you don't get off on it? What is the messeuse has been female and a lesbian?

[SugarFree]

Yeah, imagine applying that standard to bathrooms. You'd have to have at least 5 to make it so you are never in there with someone who might find you attractive.

[DNS]

Yeah, imagine applying that standard to bathrooms.

Or the TSA screening process.

[John]

IN the town where my brother lives, there is a guy in town who is renown for having a foot fetish. He is an old retired guy. And he gets his jollies from looking at women's feet sitting in front of the post office. Some women in town are just appalling. I never could understand why.

[db]

I never quite got how eliminatory functions and sex get conflated. But to each its own.

[SugarFree]

Yeah, the bathroom thing is weird. Women always freak out about it, but other than gym situations, I've never seen another guy's junk in a public restroom.

[wylie]

I never quite got how eliminatory functions and sex get conflated. But to each its own.

Fear of being raped* while in a vulnerable position where your genitals are readily accessible, and the area is usually pretty secluded while still public.

(*more likely menfolk fearing that their females would be raped when they went to piss.)

[alan]

This is what he really fears:

'Honey, I have something to tell you. I went in to pee and I didn't notice the guy on the toilet until I sat down. Anyway, I found him to be a better fit, uhm, after we had a pleasant conversation. Well, this is it, adios, did I mention he is . . . anyway, tell the kids I'll miss them.'

[Zeb]

TO each his own if that is what they get off on. But the fact that sex and elimination are equated in law is pretty bad (e.g. you can be a sex offender for public urination is some places).

[prolefeed]

I never quite got how eliminatory functions and sex get conflated.

Two words: anal sex.

[db]

The orifice != the product. There's not anything necessarily eliminatory about anal sex. It's the use of excrement as a main feature of sexual activity, that puzzles me.

[Barely Suppressed Rage]

If she merely assumed he was gay, and he made no such representation, then yeah, she's got no case.

[Barely Suppressed Rage]

The general definition of battery is unconsented physical contact. So the issue is whether consent was properly given. If consent was given based on false pretenses, then the touching can be unconsented and therefore battery.

Lots of cases relating to doctors doing surgery on patients - the patients signs an informed consent form and then is put under general anesthesia. Then maybe the doctor they thought was going to do the procedure has an emergency, and another doctor finishes up. Or the doctor does something else while he's in there. After the patient comes to and later finds out what happened while he/she was out, they sue for unconsented physical contact. There have been lots of those types of cases.

If the masseuse (masseur? Can't keep those straight) represented to her that he was gay and therefore it was ok that he fondled her goodies, and she consented to it based on that fraudulent representation, then yeah, that can be battery.

Of course, the next issue is proving damages. OK, this guy, who said he was gay but wasn't, touched your boobies and your butt. But he didn't physically injure you. So now you're left with proving infliction of emotional distress (a tough one, which courts don't like) and punitives.

[Barely Suppressed Rage]

BTW, realize that there is a distinction between a civil tort claim for battery versus the crime of battery.

[capitol l]

The comments were surprisingly educational.

[Tim]

I thought the whole point of massage was getting touched? And isn't it illegal to discriminate based upon sexual oriantation? That horny bastard ought to be suing her...

[Red Rocks Rockin]

Sounds like she wanted to have something to snicker about to her fat girlfriends: "(Chortle) My massage therapist was gay, I had to keep from laughing when he rubbed my boobs!"

She's probably more pissed that the guy ruined her gay-fetishist fantasy than over any pretense of sexual assault.

[Vermont Gun Owner]

Can we get another thread on how great commenters are?

[The King of Comments]

This ought to kick it off.

[Tim]

My bias doesn't get enough confirmation.

[wylie]

You need walls with higher-Q in your echo chamber.

[Teh Census]

The total Hispanic population in 2010 was 50,477,594

To put it more accurately, these are the ones we knew about.

[Tim]

How about the usual bullshit metaphor like "that's enough undocumented gardeners to mow to the moon and back five times"?

[Barely Suppressed Rage]

Well, let's assume an average height of 5'6" (they do tend to be slightly short, don't they? I know - RAAAACIST!). So, 5.5 feet x 50,477,594 / 5280 = 52,580 miles. Only about 1/5 of the way to the moon.

[Barely Suppressed Rage]

That's assuming you stack them end to end, each guy standing on the previous guy's head.

[SugarFree]

"Mow to the moon and back." You'd have to plug in average yard size and the distance it takes to mow the average yard.

[SugarFree]

Average American lawn size is 1/3 acre, or 14374 sq. ft.

[SugarFree]

My Creative Writing major math works it out to be 91,777,443 miles. Which is 384 trips to the moon.

[capitol l]

I don't know how you did your calculation so I figured out how many lawns each immigrant would have to mow per day for a year to mow the moon if the moon was covered in grass. It is a surprisingly low 1.54 lawns/day.

Methods:

4*pi*(moon radius(km)*Feet conversion)^2 =surface area of moon in ft^2 call it X

X/average American lawn= lawns per moon call it Y

Y/ no of immigrants = lawns per immigrant call it Z

Z/365= 1.54 lawns mowed by each immigrant per day for a year to get the moon ready to show to potential buyers.

[DNS]

Very impressive, capitol l. However, you failed to account for:

1) how tall the grass is, assuming uniform growth, which can throw off the surface area. The moon is more ellipsoid.

2) the CO2 offsets. Even though the moon doesn't have an atmosphere, we cannot be too careful with climate change.

[capitol l]

Good call on #1, I redid the calculations assuming an entire foot of grass growth and the answer is the same within 4 significant digits.

[Tulpa]

It's a bitch when the lawnmover gets stuck on the edge of a crater, though.

[Goovus Maximus]

It's a bitch when the lawnmover gets stuck on the edge of a crater, though.

Overly pedantic as usual I see, Dr. Teabagger. Ever heard of a weedwhacker?

[Clich? Bandit]

I trust not your math magic when it comes to astronimical distances SF...See

Interestingly enough 90 million miles is the distaqnce to the sun...roughly

[sloopyinca]

If that's the case, you need to add 2 inches per guy for their platform shoes.

[DNS]

you need to add 2 inches per guy for their platform shoes.

Wow, how many members of Menudo have there been over the years?

[db]

The problem with that metaphor is that it's better described as delta-v than delta-x. Unless all the gardeners are moving really fast, they'll never stretch to the moon, they'll just burn up on reentry.

[capitol l]

How about an arch of Mexicans that stretches from NY to LA? What would the height be?

[sloopyinca]

Maybe 5'10". They can't jump all that high. Ever seen a Maxican dunk on a 10 ft rim?

[?]

The Wisconsin GOP tries to use the state Open Records Law to read a critic's emails.

Not just any critic, a government school employee. Who may have been using government school resources to publicly argue against the actions of said government.

And not just any email, government email. I understand that my work email is not my personal email. There is a disclaimer that my employer may monitor it.

Just to put it into perspective.

[NoVAHockey]

We live in strange times. There's a thread going on my bluest-of-the blue neighborhood listserv (stuff like contractor recommendations and lost pets) about the dangers of fiat currency.

[Ben Bernanke]

Huh? What was that?

[Tim Geithner]

It was nothing, Benny, just a bad dream. Now go back to sleep.

[capitol l]

Anybody catch the rock and roll HOF induction last night.--->

*barf*

Tom Waits FTW, otherwise more industry back patting(kinda like that circle jerk thread yesterday)and Neil Diamond sucking. They actually called Neil Diamond "the Jewish Elvis."

[Jesse Walker]

I thought this was the Jewish Elvis.

[capitol l]

Surreal.

[Brett L]

I wanted to see Tom Waits, but I couldn't stomach the thought of watching the rest of that. The idea always seems great, but it rarely comes off well.

[capitol l]

You're right, the last one that I watched had Aerosmith, and it was terrible.

I ended up turning it of in the middle of the 26 minute rendition of Sweet Caroline.

Again: *barf*

[Pro Libertate]

Why do the Japanese need a lab to grow sperm? Shoot, I'm sure the U.S. could supply them with all the sperm they could possibly need.

[Brett L]

They are the Japanese. What other excuse do they need for mixing sex and tech?

[db]

Can't wait until the bukkakebot starts posting here...

[Restoras]

Or they could just wait a few more years for the excess male population in China to hit puberty. Talk about bukkake.

[SugarFree]

It's a wave of im-preg-nation
wave of im-preg-nation
wave of im-preg-nation

[Resto Druid FTW]

Nice, Frank Black FTW.

[gaijin97]

When Fukishima is done sterilizing all the males, they will need some way to ensure that the son still rises.

[Barely Suppressed Rage]

Every sperm is precious,
Every sperm is great.
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate.

[Mainer]

Let the heathen spill theirs
On the dusty ground
God shall make them pay for
Each sperm that can't be found

[Solanum]

District Attorney offers cash for convictions

ARAPAHOE COUNTY - The 18th Judicial District Attorney, Carol Chambers, is giving bonuses to her deputy attorneys who tried more than five cases last year and have a conviction rate higher than 70 percent, 9Wants to Know has learned.

[capitol l]

Wow. There is no way that I could imagine that ever going wrong.

Nope.

No way.

[DNS]

There is no way that I could imagine that ever going wrong.

Just like my local constables deny the existence of citation quotas.

[Gray Ghost]

Of course they don't have citation quotas, DNS. That would imply they must issue so many citations a shift. They have citation goals instead. It's just a goal for the officer. /dunphy

As a child, discussing the difference between goal and quota with my ex-traffic officer father went down pretty much like the above, and was consequently very illuminating.

[Clich? Bandit]

HOLY CRAP!!! This is the district in which I live. Carol is psyco. A PD I know in 18 said his office has a fantastic win ration. Like 25%. Unreal.

This is not news to us here but the fact it made "The News" is surprising.

[P Brooks]

the U.S. could supply them with all the sperm they could possibly need.

We'll rub out the trade deficit!

[Slap the Enlightened!]

...and a partridge in a pear tree!

[pancakes]

Whether you call them "pancakes," "flapjacks" or "hotcakes", this traditional breakfast favorite can be customized to suit all taste buds!

[waffles]

Yo guy, it's almost lunchtime.

[waffles]

Also, no longer under the guise of anonymity. My name is phalkor and I have been posting at H&R since June 2007.

[generic Brand]

the mystery is revealed! The masses continue about their day.

[Trespassers W]

Yeah, but who is pancakes then? I bet that's the real shock twist.

[DJF]

""""NATO plans to take command of the Libya no-fly zone."""

So we are going from a US dominated ad hoc no fly zone to a US dominated NATO no fly zone!!!

Wow , this much be the "Change we can believe in" which is not much change at all.

[SugarFree]

Recession turns violent.

[But wait!]

It gets better!

[sevo]

On the Brown budget cuts:
"Usually a signing ceremony with a governor is cause for celebration, but this isn't a cause for celebration," Steinberg said."

Yes, we only celebrate when we *raise* government spending! What a bozo.

[generic Brand]

The Pirate Bay is down, only a few days after the UK works on ways to limit file-sharing sites.

[waffles]

but I...oh, it'll be back.

[robin84]

Japanese experiments with sperm? Tentacle monsters here we come. Or are the going to make real anime clones?

teak patio furniture

[teak patio furniture]

Japanese experiments with sperm? Tentacle monsters here we come. Or are the going to make real anime clones?

[R C Dean]

NATO plans to take command of the Libya no-fly zone

This is supposed to mean that the US is no longer leading.

But, of course, the head guy at NATO is American.