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Hip Hop Humbert Humbert

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Wednesday fun link: the definitive analysis of that "Friday" video.

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  1. I clicked on the “My life without a cell phone” link and read this:

    As a single girl in New York throughout the 1990s I can tell you that, back then, the guy in the bar with the celly was the biggest douche in the room, and he was definitely overcompensating for something. A potential hook-up who flashed a cell phone?

    Bet she went out with him anyway.

    1. Man, sorry to hijack, but that “My Life Without a Cell Phone is absolutely precious.

      It’s written in the deliciously defensive, angry tone of someone who really wants a cell phone, but has staked out a position against it, and is going to stick with it no matter what. The tell:

      Want to know real convenience? Leave a message on my machine, or email me, and I’ll get back to you when I damn well feel like it. And if I desperately need to speak to someone when I’m away from home or office, I’ll either use a payphone (they do still exist, and I can tell you where every one south of 23rd Street is) or borrow someone else’s cell to make the call. Now that’s convenience.

      Yeah, reminds of all those couple friends I used to have with only one car. They were constantly bumming rides off everyone else because they’d discover having one car sucks, but they never admitted it. They just kept extolling the morally superior virtues of only owning one car and saving the planet– while you always had to drive 14 miles out of your way because “my husband/wife” has the car.

      The other notable? She lives in New York. A place where owning no cell phone or car is actually quite easy. My guess is this delicate flower has never been broken down on a lonely road between Pullman and Ellensburg.

      It’s another one of those articles where when you read the last sentence, you’re sure she ran out of the room crying.

      1. the rotary phone working in a blackout scenario she mentions…i swear, people really do think phones are magic. News flash, that “old roatary” (which pulse, cmon…thats just really pushing it) phone is line powered you moron…when 111 8th ave’s generators run out of diesel we will see how long you phone works (on 9/11 shit got funky down there, our boys needed to haul 5 gallon jugs of fuel to the fucking roof to keep the generator going with no elevators…wasnt at 111 8th but down off of Wall, still not fun).

        1. The article was cognitive-disconnect from the first sentence on.

          I mean, I don’t have any problem with people who don’t own cell phones.

          Hell, I know a guy who HATES to talk to other people on the phone, but he owns a cell phone, because it gives him the convenience of calling out.

          The cell phone is what the holder makes of it.

          Yeah, and the “electricity” comment was wall-to-wall win. She’s like the luddite anarchist who don’t need anything but his electric guitar… and a place to plug it in.

          Apparently she thinks the land lines run on magic organic pixie dust hand-ground and processed by Al Gore.

      2. “Leave a message on my machine”

        Leave a message on my voicemail. Just because your cell phone rings doesn’t mean you have to answer it.

  2. Which seat can I take?

  3. She trolled the world so damn hard. Good on you, Rebecca.

  4. Is she the 5th Horseman?

    1. Sexually scarring picture. Not linking to the .jpg for the sake of those running reasonable.

      1. Well, I wasn’t expecting that.

      2. I am so glad my browser alerted me to what the web page was before the picture loaded.

  5. There’s a strange odor that comes off the articles on this website, and I can’t quite place it…

  6. The part about riding in the “bitch” seat is awesome. Plus, why would someone who is obviously 16 or older (he’s driving) even give a 13 year old a ride?

  7. I – I – I so excited, I so excited.

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