Labor

L.A. Deficit $350 Million; Even Crossing Guards May Go

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Why does Miguel Santana look so glum?

"Even the workers we have now we can't afford," Los Angeles Chief Administrative Officer Miguel Santana announced today, explaining why a city that has already eliminated 4,000 positions still faces a $350 million deficit.

Addressing the L.A. Chamber of Commerce, Santana – who has been described as the most powerful non-elected official in the troubled City of Angels – laid out a budget projection in which the deficit will grow by more than 50 percent over the next four years, from $350 million in the current budget to $548 million in 2014-15. (That's assuming a growth rate of around 1 percent in the city economy; if growth turns out to be flat or negative the deficit will be worse.)

Santana will be making his recommendations public on Monday, but I can already tell you which one will lead the headlines. The CAO says, "We need to continue reducing the workforce," and one of his proposals is to save the city $7 million by eliminating crossing guards.

That's not a bad idea. Santana notes that crossing guards are not assigned according to any recognized assessment of risk or need, but according to which district can get the most pull from its City Council member. I don't know that I've ever seen a crossing guard actually make any situation safer. You could eliminate the crossing guards, and the attached health care and pension costs, with no ill effects.

If they just fired this guy, nobody would complain.

But what mayor out there is willing to go down in history as the genocidal monster who left Our Children without crossing guards? To his credit, Antonio Villaraigosa has generally backed up Santana since he was brought in two years ago to help the city government adapt to the New Normal. But I wouldn't bet a plugged nickel, let alone $7 million, on Antonio's courage.

And there are plenty of other radioactive materials in Santana's proposals, from a plan to hold off new police hiring for the rest of this year to a policy of contracting out more services – in a city where golf carts are considered a core mission of municipal government.

Interestingly, Santana ranks pension reform last among his four highest-priority items – because pension savings don't help the city's dire current finances. His first order of business is to make the city's reserve fund permanent ("because then we'll have to make the corresponding cuts"); the second is to reduce discretionary services and focus on core services; and third is to bring in more private contractors.

L.A.'s political class is about as dynamic and open to change as Syria's. Any attempt at reform – let alone one with this many specifics – will be facing serious headwinds. But these suggestions won't go away, because the deficit isn't going away.

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  1. eliminating crossing guards

    Not the crossing guards!

    I hope they can sleep with the blood they’ll have on their hands…

    /stupid

    1. L.A.’s political class is about as dynamic and open to change as Syria’s

      Also, LOL

    2. At least they’ll still have their cowboy poets.

  2. This is a heavily Democrat city and it’s about to slash 4,000 positions and privatize many services.

    The libtards are cornered, no one who actually has the responsibility of governing are believing the current libtard meme that governments are not broke.

    1. I think it portends and will cause a major shift to the fiscal right in this fine nation.

  3. You basis for blithely assuming that there will be no ill effects from eliminating crossing guards is based on an unproven statement by Santana and from your own experience of observing school crosswalks as you drive through them. I suspect you personally have no child of your own in this game. For the city to risk the safety of hundreds of thousands of children to cut 2% of the deficit is shortsighted as well as irresponsible as it could lose that much in just one successful lawsuit if a child were severely injured or killed because of the hazard.

    1. How many children are created and/or saved by crossing guards?

      1. The number of children not created and/or saved won’t climb past 8%.

    2. It’s for the children!!!

      1. What, the stick of pomposity stuck up her arse?

    3. Speaking of unproven statements:

      you personally have no child of your own in this game

      risk the safety of hundreds of thousands of children

      it could lose that much in just one successful lawsuit if a child were severely injured or killed because of the hazard

      1. Get rid of the lawyers and look at it as the Darwin principle at work.

    4. For the city to risk the safety of hundreds of thousands of children to cut 2% of the deficit is shortsighted as well as irresponsible as it could lose that much in just one successful lawsuit if a child were severely injured or killed because of the hazard.

      I guess the parents will actually have to do some “parenting,” and ensure their children get to school safely.

      1. But isn’t the whole point of schools that parents themselves don’t have to teach their kids to cross roads or put on a condom? (Or pay for daycare).

        1. We can tell them that not crossing the street is always an option.

          1. The kids will probably learn more just standing on the street corner!

          2. Why DID the chicken cross the road?

    5. For the city to risk the safety of hundreds of thousands of children

      By neglecting safely to compulsorily deliver them to this? (Thank you, Cypress.)

    6. For the city to risk the safety of hundreds of thousands of children to cut 2% of the deficit is shortsighted as well as irresponsible

      God forbid parental volunteers do cross guard duty… for the kids.

      1. Or, even worse, the school organize a 6th grader volunteer corps.

        1. yeah, whatever happened to safeties?

    7. let the parents take turn as crossing guards if its so important. I can tell you from my experience (I live 1 mile from a school that has them) that they are a joke.

    8. And children’s safety is hardly the biggest issue. I project an increase in crosswalk grabass and associated shenanigans of 35% in the first month alone. Fortunately it stabilizes at that level as bullies save the day by restoring order with intimdation and an occasional ‘outsized’ demonstration. Bless the Bullies.

    9. You “suspect” very wrongly.

      1. To be fair to patricia, you don’t have a child in Los Angeles. (Assuming you’re still a DC resident as the video says)

        1. Tim wrote this post.

          1. Oh yeah. Doesn’t he live in SF though?

            1. He writes an awful lot about LA for someone who lives in Frisco.

    10. Hey PattyB,

      First Law of the Species:

      Your precious little fuck trophies are YOUR responsibility.

      Here is a helpful little jingle you can teach them

      Look both ways, and be alert,
      If that car hits you, its gonna hurt!

      You’re welcome.

      1. reck’em! it damn near killed ’em!

    11. Older children in school use to be crossing gaurds…..for FREE.

      1. Hah – so true. My best friend and I did it…WHEN WE WERE IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL! Fifth graders with responsibility to get K-4th across the rural hwy.

        We didn’t have crossing guards for Middle and High School.

      2. And guards…too!

    12. I have a hard time discriminating between actual liberal posts and joke posts.

      1. There’s a difference?

        1. She’s kidding.

      2. Discrimination Bad!

    13. How about having volunteers? Or, you could simply make teachers do it. Heck, you can even assign police officers to do it. No need in having extra paid positions for it.

  4. “But these suggestions won’t go away, because the deficit isn’t going away.”

    Well can’t they just blame the Republicans?

    What, you can’t cash blaming the Tea Party at the bank?

    The problem with LA County is the Tea Party! They’ve ruined everything.

    *tap tap*

    Is this thing on?

    Gay Marriage! Prop 187!

    The last one out, please turn off the lights.

    1. The complete absence of a Tea Party is a notable feature of California politics. We take our rent-seeking seriously out here.

      1. What do you mean there’s no Tea Party in California!

        They’re to blame!

        For everything…

        Especially overspending!

        Intelligent Design! …and they’re racist!

        They’ve gotta be to blame for all this.

        They’ve just got to!

        Last one out turn off the air conditioning.

        1. It’s funny; most of my liberal friends spent 2010 getting outraged about the Tea Party. I was all like, “Dude, they’ll get the DC Republicans off your back, and you can have an all-Democrat statist California government.” And they were all like, “Whatever.”

          1. We say they gotta cut all that wasteful spending?

            They say Christine O’Donnell is a Tea Party witch!

            We say they approved $500 billion in unfunded pension liabilities?

            They say Sarah Palin thinks she can see a Russian island from Alaska!

            It’s all the Tea Party’s fault…

            No justice–no peace!

            1. We laugh at their “high speed rail”

              They name a station after the “Gaffer”

              hey, this is fun. can i play…

  5. I’d give my two cents on this, but I don’t think LA would be able to pay me back.

  6. I don’t know how they do it now, but when I was in school, parents volunteered to be crossing guards. For that matter, the fire department in my hometown is also staffed by volunteers. Cities shouldn’t pay for these things at all; people will do the work for free.

    1. I occasionally speed drive to work through school zones. They pay the crossing guards, but in some cases, they might as well not. One lady is so spacey I wonder if she ever pays attention to the road. She seems a lot more interested in plucking weeds from nearby yards.

      1. I’ll go to the dry cleaner at lunch and I pass two schools on my way. Why do you need a crossing guard between say 9AM and 2PM any way? That’s 5 hours of weed picking/iPod listening. During the hours when kids arrive at school they’re basically human redundancies of traffic lights anyway.

      2. Record her spaciness and turn her in.

        It’s for the children, after all.

      3. “She seems a lot more interested in plucking weeds from nearby yards.”
        That’s to make up for the little turds running over everyones grass.

    2. Children aren’t even allowed to walk to school without a parent in our district. Seriously. The bus routes include the houses literally across the street from the school.

  7. Page 80 of the LA city CAFR shows that at the end of last year they had 148 million in cash in the bank and another 40 billion in investments. Maybe they should cash out some of those investments and balance their budget. Maybe cash it all out and give everyone a check. It is the peoples money after all.

    http://controller.lacity.org/s…..013845.pdf

    1. I’m not saying they shouldn’t consider this, but I have a feeling the chimpouts from the media and various rent-seekers would be just as severe.

      You’d think a party who had been led by a President who did exactly this (Andrew Jackson) to pay down the national debt, would at least consider the option and get their spittle-enraged hordes used to the idea.

    2. Sell the schools to pay for the teachers!

  8. Whatever happened to the Safety Patrol? I was a Patrol Boy (lieutenant, no less…LOL). We took it very seriously and were taken very seriously by the other students – and street crossings were safe because of it.

    1. One lawsuit against the city for a Patrol Boy accident wipes out the $7M saved by eliminating crossing guards. How many people today will obey some snot-nosed kid wearing a Sam Browne belt?

      1. Let me take my course.

      2. “One lawsuit against the city for a Patrol Boy accident wipes out the $7M saved by eliminating crossing guards.”
        So the jack-off lawyers wouldn’t sue if there is an adult crossing guard? RIGHT!

      3. You know who did obey a snot-nosed kid wearing a Sam Browne belt?

    2. The Patrols were just pawns in the A/V team’s game. Who made sure those cards in the back of the library books had the correct date stamp on check in? The A/V’s. Is your favorite school pet, Speedy the Gerbil? If you don’t want anything bad to happen to him, don’t cross the A/Vs. Who do you think cleans their cages and feeds them? Most importantly, the A/Vs did the morning announcements. We told the school what was for lunch. We told the school what to think.

  9. The city of Los Angeles does not have a budget problem. The city of Los Angeles does not have a crossing guard problem. There is no crossing guard problem in Los Angeles. Not one. Not a problem. Not even a little problem. Not even a tinytinytinytiny problem. The City of Los Angeles has a revenue problem. A revenue problem. Not a spending problem, not a crossing guard problem, not a teacher problem or a union problem but a revenue problem, a tax-cut problem, a problem that blah because of blah blah and the blah blah blah Koch Brothers.

    1. If you aren’t willing to raise taxes you don’t get a seat at the adults table. You can’t balance the budget without raising taxes. You must raise taxes in order to balance the budget. If the budget is to be balanced, taxes must be raised. Raising taxes is necessary for balancing the budget. Ipso facto.

      1. Don’t even try to out-Maddow me, you Koch-sucker.

      2. Bushpig deficit! Obama budget sound!

        Fuck fuck, Christfags!

        Shit, dammit Fat Rush! Glerk!

        Losertardian Beckerhead goldbugs!

        Treasury and muni bonds are the way to daytrade your way to social ridicule, just like your Uncle Shrike…suckers. Silver!

        Obama is sound money in the bank, baby! Blerk!

        Where’s my meds!!1!!11eleventy1!!

        Bastards.

        1. Nice, DNS. I don’t think you missed anything. the only possible criticism is that you probably didn’t use enough profanity.

        2. Bring me back!

          1. I always hated the $75 luxury tax in Monopoly.

            1. Especially when you only had $80 left.

        3. Yeah, but shrikey baby is a spent out force. His shtick hasn’t changed in three years. That Tony though. Wow. Occasionally you’ll read through that shit, and find an entirely new level of imbecility the likes of which the world has never before witnessed. You have to admit, that’s a talent whether he is doing it on purpose or not. Maybe that is why he still pulls the strings around here.

          1. Maybe that is why he still pulls the strings around here.

            By that, I mean Tony pwns this blog. Anyone thinks differently is fooling themselves. In this post-modern era, you don’t win arguments by the force of your logic, but by putting your opponent on the defensive. Anytime you answer to him, it is an admission of guilt.

            1. Many people here post 30 or more replies to Tony. he is probably a Reason sock puppet.

              1. Nah, someone posted his myspace page a while back.

                1. yuck, i just did a vomit gargle…
                  damn it heller…

        4. OMG! Does anyone else see the fnords?

      3. “If you aren’t willing to cut spending, you don’t get a seat at the adults table. You can’t balance the budget without cutting spending. You must cut spending in order to balance the budget. If the budget is to be balanced, spending must be cut. Cutting spending is necessary for balancing the budget. Ipso facto.

        Argument by assertion is FUN!!!

      4. Tony|3.19.11 @ 8:29AM|#
        “Egotistical claim by ignoramus”

        Good start, Tony.

        1. That wasn’t the TonTon.

          1. It’s like motherfuckers don’t even know what orange handles are about.

            Nah mean?

            1. I know, and those people definitely do not deserve a seat at the adults’ table.

        1. There you go again, Chad, with your populist-style cheerleading. The progressives are about using our superior intellect to craft a perfect solution to society’s ills. Such mindless pap has no place in our movement. The “Reasonoids” are right to call you “choad.”

          1. And, I said PERFECT SOLUTION, not FINAL SOLUTION, so don’t bother with the National Socialist comparisons. That’s the job of the progressives.

      5. At the federal level you’d have a point. But this is about a single municipality. Do you know anything about LA’s current tax structure? How does it compare to surrounding cities? I’d bet money that, like most major cities (especially in California) it already has relatively high city taxes.

        Furthermore, it is far far easier for people/businesses to move themselves/their money between US cities and states (compared to going across national borders). I say once again – for state and local governments to try and solve their crises by raising income/property tax rates, is economic suicide (in most cases).

        1. L. A., where suicides go for a second chance.

          1. where you can hit and run in the morning…
            and bugger the budget in the afternoon…

        2. No, taxes must be increased everywhere, because rich people cause all our problems. No rich people = financial stability and freedom.

          1. No, three fingers are pointing back at you…
            no capital, no wealth, = no incredible standard of living.
            how long would you work your job for minimum wage?

            1. I don’t have to answer to people who don’t have a seat at the adults’ table.

        3. Here is info on the tax rate of some Lost Angeles County cities:

          http://blogs.laweekly.com/info…..x_high.php

          And here I thought we would just keep it at 10%. You know, a nice “round number.” Oh well, I guess we can go straight to 15%.

      6. I’m not sure I agree with you there, Tony. I want to raise taxes without balancing the budget. Surely I get a seat at the table.

        1. You’re seat is on top of the table, so that it’s easier for us adults to catch your golden shower of love.

          1. Go long! Go long! Go long on aerospace, baby! Can. Not. Miss. Glack!

            Quick Tea Faggots, buy more T-bills! Solvency is at hand! Snerk!

            Obama’s solid gold! That’s right shitcake Beckerheads, the real enchilada! Choke on that guilded cock!

            Loser BushPig Christfags. (Attempts to climax and soils the sheets instead.)

      7. [loughner]
        If revenue must be raised to balance the budget, then I must be taxed more. Taxes on me must be raised. Therefore I should live higher up.
        [/loughner]

    2. Epic sub-thread. Well done.

  10. When I was in elementary school, 5th & 6th graders served as crossing guards (at no cost). Is there something that prevents doing that these days?

    1. Is there something that prevents doing that these days?

      Union contracts. Pubsecs are hostile to scabs, even if it’s for the children.

      1. Actually, 5th and th graders represent a vast new market for group of exploited citizens that need SEIU representation.

        1. The kids do love their T-shirts…

    2. The massive hordes of child molesters who didn’t exist back when you were a kid!

    3. Wow, I had forgotten about that, as I was a 5th/6th grade crossing guard at my grammar school. Amazing to think how ridiculous our society is, as no one in their “right” (or left) mind would allow such a TRAVESTY these days (*gasp*). At 12, I was allowed to police other kids crossing the street, ride a bike without a helmet, and deliver newspapers at 4:30 a.m. by myself without adult accompaniment. And we wonder why young people today are such pussies and economic underachievers.

      The other aspect of the “kid crossing guards” at my school was that you had to be an A or B student to be a guard. It was considered a badge of honor (and YES, they actually gave us kid crossing guards BADGES – lol). Now, you would have a bunch of idiots from Jesse Jackson to Ariana Huffington screaming about how elitist/racist/classist, blah blah blah would be such a designation for over-achieving kids.

      1. You truly were living on the edge.

      2. You acted white!

    4. “Is there something that prevents doing that these days?”

      Yes, lack of intelligence on the part of many Americans. Back then eleven and twelve year olds were the intellectual equivalent of current twenty-five year olds.

      1. As a 25 year old, I disagree. Those born in 84/85 seem to me to be the last crop with any goddamned common sense.

        All of the younger people I know are entitlement craving statist bitches. I blame mTV’s crop of reality shows that hit when they were in Jr High, and the fact that they’ve always had cellphones and the internet.

        1. All of the younger people I know are entitlement craving statist bitches.

          It helps when the public schools have served as statist indoctrination centers for the last 30 years. They’ve finally dumbed down the curriculum enough to the point where no student could possibly exercise enough critical thinking to question the regime.

  11. I wonder, has anyone calculated what the expected tax revenues from Prop 19 would have been and looked at how much that would have cut the CA budget deficet?

    1. OK, from Wikipedia:

      “The State Board of Equalization has estimated that imposing a $50 per ounce levy on cannabis sales could generate $1.4 billion a year in new tax revenue, thus generating a large amount of revenue at a time when the state is experiencing financial pressure.”

      OK, so that may not offset the 25 billion CA budget deficet, but it would have paid for a few crossing guards I imagine…

      1. Fucking great. We’ll tax medical marijuana to fund useless crossing guards. Who could possibly have reasons to object to such a brilliant fucking pla?

        1. I think he was talking about Prop 18, not MM.

          And I’d rather see pot taxed and crossing guards funded than pot outlawed and prison guards funded. (If those are the 2 choices.)

      2. That’s 28,000,000 ounces in CA in one year.

        For once, I think they’re underestimating drug use – or else they actually realize there would be “leakage” of people selling, but avoiding taxes.

  12. Wow, OK thats kinda crazy when you think about it.

    http://www.real-privacy.it.tc

  13. Obama is sound money in the bank, baby!

    Ahem.

    1. see, see?
      i told you those damn communists couldn’t count…

  14. If they were only projecting $1.4 billion in revenue they were planning on doing it wrong. How do you get $1.4 billion for something that costs little to grow, if legal, that people will pay gobs of money for? Marijuana is likely generating something in that neighborhood today just from sales taxes and economic activity benefits (though I doubt reliable figures exist).

    1. There really wouldn’t be any way to know unless they actually implemented it. Plus, you bring up the issue of private growers–does the state charge them by how much they grow? How much they sell in person-to-person transactions? Do they just license a grower a flat fee every year to grow and sell?

      Even if pot was legalized, I have a hard time seeing how California would actually collect on the all the revenue people think they would, since the act of even collecting on the taxes would almost certainly require a whole new layer of bureaucracy and enforcement.

      1. We would certainly save a lot of money currently spent on enforcement.

        1. Again, the correct term is “re-legalize”. Make the statists remind us why the demon weed was outlawed in the first place, and how terrible life was while it was legal.

          1. I prefer “end the failed experiment in prohibition.” It reminds the idiots that we’ve been through this before.

        2. Well, sure, but we’d likely ending up trading one set of enforcement regulations for another. The question is whether we’d save more with the legalized regulating apparatus than we would with the current system.

          I have a feeling that, given the low quality of leadership, education, and common sense in our political class, it would end up being a wash in the end. I have a hard time believing that the crop of deadbeats who gravitate to politics in our society wouldn’t find a way to screw up what should be a fairly slam-dunk revenue source for the government.

  15. the second is to reduce discretionary services and focus on core services

    Nothing the government does is nonessential!

    There wouldn’t even be golf carts, or little narrow squiggly roads to drive them on, if not for society!!

  16. For the city to risk the safety of hundreds of thousands of children to cut 2% of the deficit is shortsighted as well as irresponsible as it could lose that much in just one successful lawsuit if a child were severely injured or killed because of the hazard.

    Has anybody seen Waffles?

  17. the second is to reduce discretionary services and focus on core services

    Suggestion: make the Laker fans clean up their own post-championship celebration, rather than expecting the city to pick up the bill.

  18. I love the argumentum “when I was a kid” um…

    1. Ah yes, the corollary to the get off my lawn fallacy.

      Confucius wondered if a boy can walk from home to school uphill in the snow is it possible for him to walk uphill in the snow from school to home.

      1. My grandfather went to school with MC Escher.

        For granddad, the walk really was uphill both ways.

      2. Ah yes, the corollary to the get off my lawn fallacy.

        Damned kids.

    2. Neu Mejican|3.19.11 @ 11:32AM|#
      “I love the argumentum “when I was a kid” um…”

      You should. All the brain-deads use it to justify higher marginal tax rates.

    3. Please explain why referring to one’s experience as a kid is a fallacy. I thought you were all into empiricism and shit.

      1. Tulpa,

        You realize the difference between a valid empirical argument based on quantitative analysis and an anecdote, I assume. Are you up to your rhetorical sophistry again? Tsk tsk.

  19. I love the argumentum “when I was a kid” um…

    Like-

    When I was a kid, there was vastly less centralization of the government schools, and education was both better and cheaper.

    Was that what you meant?

    1. Never look back! Progress, progress, progress!

  20. Now that I think about it, I’ll bet when I was a kid, none my teachers even had an Ed D after her(!) name.

    1. When I was a kid, people said ‘argument.’

      1. When I was a kid you could draw pictures of guns, act like a douche, and when someone called you out on your jackassery you could respons with “Fuck you it’s a free country.”

        1. Good times, good times!

        2. Shit, when I was in elementary school we all drew pictures of planes that were guns and had guns coming out of them that shot guns, and I’m 21. None of us were arrested.

  21. Confucius wondered if a boy can walk from home to school uphill in the snow is it possible for him to walk uphill in the snow from school to home.

    Are you unfamiliar with the works of M C Escher?

    1. I have a book of his graphic work. Good stuff. Wish I had that book back when I was droppin’.

  22. OT: Check out the right side, ‘Most Popular’ features. I have some knitting needles you can borrow for your eyes.

    1. From the comments(drink!):

      The best Helen Thomas interview was in the Daily Rash when she told Tyra Banks that she made out with Hitler!

  23. IceTrey|3.19.11 @ 4:23AM|#
    “Page 80 of the LA city CAFR shows that at the end of last year they had 148 million in cash in the bank and another 40 billion in investments. Maybe they should cash out some of those investments and balance their budget. Maybe cash it all out and give everyone a check. It is the peoples money after all.”

    Nope.
    They had $282,000 cash on hand with a current deposit of $148M, suggesting a pretty high cash flow. Please tell us what the daily cash flow is.

    They did have $40M in ‘investments’. Please tell us what sort of ‘investments’ those are; how liquid they are, how selling them would affect their value. And compare the actual value to the cash flow.

    Oh, and reality doesn’t seem to agree with your claim of ‘not broke’, unless the courts are in cahoots. Vallejo is bankrupt, and I see the city still owns streets, bridges, buildings, parks, etc.

    1. Those numbers are given in thousands so they have 40 BILLION in investments retard.

      1. IceTrey|3.19.11 @ 4:23PM|#
        “Those numbers are given in thousands so they have 40 BILLION in investments retard.”

        And the ignoramus continues to duck and weave.
        Answer the questions or STFU, asshole.

      2. IceTrey|3.19.11 @ 4:23PM|#
        “Those numbers are given in thousands so they have 40 BILLION in investments retard.”

        For the reading enjoyment of the ignoramus:
        “Los Angeles faces a total $152.6Bn for pensions that are unfunded”
        http://www.edchoice.org/CMSMod…..ngeles.pdf

  24. I think crossing gourds do perform a valuable service preventing people from turning into crosswalks (which traffic lights don’t prevent). I mean, I’m a big ugly hairy mean-looking guy who steps right into the crosswalk as soon as I have ROW and dares drivers to run me over; I still have to occasionally dodge some asshole who’s (a) not paying attention, or (b) simply doesn’t give a shit. I can imagine how many assholes would take advantage of a kid’s reluctance to enter the crosswalk with cars approaching it if there are no adults around protecting them.

    1. Was this ever a problem before crossing guards?

      1. Probably. But there have been crossing guards since cars became commonplace.

    2. My aunt grows crossing gourds in her garden. They’re one of the tastier gourds.

      1. What you do in your personal sex life is none of my business.

        1. Do you have some kind of problem with vegesexuals, you bigot?

    3. I thought the city was providing me a complementary ass to pinch on my way to cross the streets. She is there for something else?

    4. preventing people from turning into crosswalks

      She turned me into a newt!

      1. Did it get better?

  25. Prediction: NM will return and complain that he never said it was a fallacy at 11:32 am.

    (Putting it here so he doesn’t see my prediction until he responds)

    1. Neu had said in the past that he surfs the tubez on a babbage adding machine and cannot scroll down on the screen.

      Good plan, Tulpa.

      1. Oh, he’ll find out. But he’ll already have fallen into my trap by then.

        1. Are you trying to redefine “trap” now? You and your semantic arguments. Will they never end?

  26. I can imagine how many assholes would take advantage of a kid’s reluctance to enter the crosswalk with cars approaching it if there are no adults around protecting them.

    It’s a dog-eat-dog world out there.

    Take away the crossing guards, and- next thing you know, there will be fire rings littered with tiny femurs at every school crossing.

  27. (Putting it here so he doesn’t see my prediction until he responds)

    Oh, Tulpa, you know you just wanted the titillating thrill of replying in the “wrong”place.

    Throw aside the shackles of nested tyranny.

    Free yourself.

    1. I am free, I just choose to set a good example. Quoting what you’re responding to, needlessly eats up screen space and server time. (In some cases it’s necessary when we max out the indentation limit)

      Libertarianism != libertinism

      1. Quoting what you’re responding to, needlessly eats up screen space and server time.

        so does, unnecessary commas.

        1. That comma improves readability by 43%.

          1. That comma, improves, readability by 43%.

            ,,,

            FIFY

      2. Yes, because the time and space required for some ANSI characters is just enormous. I mean, think of all the space and time you could save if you just got rid of HTML!

        1. I don’t know about ANSI characters, but the ASCII variety do add up (let alone Unicode!). And they definitely contribute to scrolling.

          1. I meant ASCII. This is what happens to my brain when I have to work on a Saturday for the 6th week in a row.

            1. Is that your excuse for supporting the unstable system of anarcho capitalism?

              1. No, it’s my excuse for taking Vicodin today.

                “And tomorrow, we’ll take some Percodan…just because it’s Saturday.”

  28. “Fuck you it’s a free country.”

    OMFG teh HAAAAAATE SPEECHEZ!!!1!11

  29. Move along, scabs!

  30. The Kochs are heavily invested in car washes, which explains why they’re pushing for a policy which results in more pedestrian guts on people’s cars. It’s amazing how it all fits together.

    Life is confusing when you don’t see the big picture.

    1. Poor sock. Hobie is nowhere near that literate.

  31. But LA has billions in assets…

    1. And used traffic lights get big bucks on Ebay!

  32. Shores of Tripoli II: Curly’s Gold

    Just In; The US has launched Missiles on Libya

    1. Did Congress give the president authorization for war? Cuz if not, it would be more accurate to say that the president unilaterally launched missiles on Libya.

      1. Actually, it would be more accurate to say that the president illegally launched missiles on Libya.

  33. Holy siht what an idiot. Stop paying judges the extra $57,000 a year in illegal benefits. How friggin hard is that? These judges already get $178,000 a year, that isn’t ridiculous enough? How about answering your own damn phone, and get rid of the $70,000 secretary, or the temp. District assistant deputy director under secretary administrative coordinator of special affairs, Bull siht. How about selling them cherry-wood with mahogany inlay, and sterling drawer pull desks, with the $1,700 32 position ergonomic chairs? How about driving your OWN car to work? Paying for your OWN gas? Cleaning your OWN offices, and taking out your OWN trash? Sharpening your OWN pencils, oh that’s right, you don’t know how to use one, I forgot.

  34. I can imagine how many assholes would take advantage of a kid’s reluctance to enter the crosswalk with cars approaching it if there are no adults around protecting them.

    “I can imagine how many kids would take advantage of even an asshole’s reluctance to run over people even if there are no adults around as witnesses.”

    FTFY. Or I should say, YMMV; this is by far my more common experience.

  35. Wow, that’s like the craziest thing I ever seen.

    http://www.real-privacy.it.tc

    1. They also seem to have trouble with the meanings of those things called “words”.
      Public school graduates? I’ll bet.

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