Former Sen. Dick Swett Unavailable for Comment

From my native Hoosier state:

A former Indiana mayor who won over voters in the 1930s is proving less popular with modern city leaders trying to choose a name for a new government center.

Harry Baals (bawlz) is the runaway favorite in online voting to name the new building in Fort Wayne. But Deputy Mayor Beth Malloy tells The Journal Gazette that the city probably won't name the center after its longest tenured mayor because of the jokes it could inspire.

No business sense, these testy politicians. T-shirt sales to the frat guy market alone could probably fund next year's city budget.

Comments

[rather]

don't blame her but his cousin G Room-Balls was a nice guy

[Mainer]

testy politicians....oh, wait...

[4chan]

We c wut u did there

[rather]

though his brother Herp E Balls was a scab

[Episiarch]

You are just so very terrible. Doesn't it embarrass you?

[Warty]

Why do you continue to read its drivel, Epi? It's like you're dedicated to seeing every new Michael Bay movie in the theater. After a while, you should know enough to stay away.

[Episiarch]

I have a philosophical objection to incifing. I want to see everything, no matter how awful it is. Call me a masochist; but I refuse to miss out.

I watched Transformers. I admit it (but not the second one, no no no no no). Yes, it was partly because of Meghan Fox, but really, how can I properly hate Michael Bay if I don't see the crimes he commits?

[Warty]

I used to think the way you did, but then rectal came along. Some things just cannot be endured.

Zero Tolerance

[Zeb]

I'm liking the reasonable thing for Chrome. It makes it very easy to turn people on and off, depending on how masochistic you are feeling.

[cynical]

It's not the "reading" that irritates me so much as the "responding". If no one paid any attention to it, it would go away.

[Rather]

I'd miss you-who the hell are you again?

[hmm]

Making money on a sin or inappropriate material is only appropriate when you are forcing purveyors of said activity to pay money. Making money any other way or in a market by cashing in on something off color is just immoral.

[sloopyinca]

Little known fact: His brother Beauregard "Blue" Baals stayed in the south to ply his trade as a cardsharp and gambler of some distinction. His body was found under mysterious circumstances in 1936, stuffed into an overhead compartment on a westbound train with an entire deck of playing cards stuck in his throat and a pocketwatch in his rectum.

The case remains unsolved to this day.

[Old Mexican]

Former Sen. Dick Swett Unavailable for Comment

"She has a wife, you know... Want to know what's her name? Incontinentia! Incontinentia Buttocks!"
"Bwa ha ha ha!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zPGb4STRfKw

[Mainer]

Do you find it risible ?

[sloopyinca]

I knew a woman named Anita Dick. She married into it as well.

Like, who wouldn't just walk away from that potentiality after one date? You'd have to be pretty desperate or pretty in love to follow through on that relationship.

My guess is she had no friends to tell her, "enough is enough. Your name's gonna be I-Need-A-Dick if you marry this guy." Now that I think about it, I'd like to hang out with her friends.

[Pablo]

I used to work with a lady named Anita Johnson.

[Kristen]

What state or country did Mrs. Anita Dick live in that required her to take her husband's last name?

[Sovereign Immunity]

Eh, she could have hyphenated.

[sage]

Anita Dick-Baals?

[db]

Anita Dick-Ng

[Mainer]

She married, but her hyphen was still intact.

[Rock Action]

+ a bunch.

[sloopyinca]

Maiden name was Long (obviously this part is bullshit).
Anita Long-Dick.

[Tom]

Sloopyinca,

Does she live in the Piedmont Triad area? If not, that makes two incredibly brave (or stupid) women out there.

[Anomalous]

They should name it after Lou Skuntz.

[Aresen]

Former Sen. Dick Swett Unavailable for Comment

I understand the grandchildren of the mayor and the senator moved to Mexico and got married. The had a son: Feliz Swett-Y-Baals.

[Zeb]

I have long wondered why Dick Swett doesn't call himself "Rick" or "Rich" or something. Maybe he likes having a joke name.

[SnowSoul]

Oh man, this is too good. "I left my heart in San Francisco and my Harry Baals in Fort Wayne." Or "Bury Me at Wounded Knee and my Harry Baals at Fort Wayne." Man, this really was a bad economic decision. The memorabilia writes itself.

[Mainer]

I worked with a Dick Guay. and yes it's pronounced "Gay". He also insisted on Dick, not Richard, Rich, Rick

[sailshonan]

They should name the prison after Harry Baals

[Paul]

No business sense, these testy politicians.

I see what you did there...

[Ted S.]

Swett was never a US Senator. He served two terms in the House (1991-1995), and ran for Senate in 1996.

In New Hampshire, polls in the larger cities close at 7PM, while in the smaller towns it's at 8PM. At 7PM, the networks called the election for Swett, but of course it turned out they were wrong.

I met Swett when he was first running for the House and I was at Dartmouth College. Swett was about 6'5", and what Seinfeld would later call a close talker. I'm only 5'8", so when he was talking to me and the person I was with, I took a step back so I wouldn't have to crane my neck to look up at him. He kept taking a step toward me every time I took a step back. Creepy.

[Jesse]

Agreed. The title should be changed.

[Robert Enders]

I live in Fort Wayne. Baals is pronounced "bales". Many people even around here do not know how to pronounce it correctly. I imagine that the joke originated among Baals' rivals when he first entered politics or middle school.

[Robert Enders]

I live in Fort Wayne. Baals is pronounced "bales". Many people even around here do not know how to pronounce it correctly. I imagine that the joke originated among Baals' rivals when he first entered politics or middle school.

[sailshonan]

Apparently, both the late Harry Baals and his nephew disagree with you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p3zcSNWm6WA

[Heywood Jablome]

My friend Jack Yerkokov & I are unhappy with this decision.

[db]

Headline from The Daily Collegian ca.1996:

"Stickwomen's Kuntz out in Front"

[Jeff P. channeling Dean Martin]

My friend Andy Lipshitz always hated his name. So he had it legally changed. Now he's Carl Lipshitz and much happier.

[Tulpa]

He already has a mathematical theorem named after him.

[Mike Hunt]

Guess I'm fucked.

[Dick Fitzwell]

Hey, come over here.

[tony]

politicians are...

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