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NEXT: When Numbers Get Unserious

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  1. Taco Bell “Beef” is false advertising, say class action lawyers looking for payout from lucrative raccoon farming industry.…..1413.story

    1. I always assumed it was left over Kangaroo meat from Jack N the Box.

      1. You are dating yourself. That was from like 1979.

        1. “That was from like 1979.”

          Have you tasted Taco Bell food lately? It’s plausible some of it dates that far back…

      2. Kangaroo meat has a ton of food miles on it. Possum is cheap, local, plentiful and has the same basic marsupial flavor.

        1. Raccoon. And Kangaroos taste good. They are just dear with big feat.

          1. Raccoons aren’t marsupials. They’re tiny bears with black, evil hands. And they eat garbage and steal Protestant babies when you leave them to cool on the window sill.

            Didn’t you learn anything in biology class?

            1. You still leave your Protestant children on the window sill to cool? What’s wrong with your kitchen counter dude?

              1. Philistine.

            2. Tastes great and reduces the surplus of unwanted Methodist infants. what’s not to like?

              1. Aren’t Methodist infants by definition unwanted?

            3. Tastes great and reduces the surplus of unwanted Methodist infants. what’s not to like?

            4. Tastes great and reduces the surplus of unwanted Methodist infants. what’s not to like?

              1. You really hate Methodist infants…

                1. It’s the server squirrels who are really getting to me. WTF already?

            5. The problem with raccoon meat is that it may give you the hunger and the desire to resort to cannibalism.

      3. What is wrong with kangaroo meat? Just a quick sear, a couple of minutes in the oven, and you have lean meat fillet that’s healthier than most others.

    2. yo quiero roadkill !

      1. STFU troll.

          1. Hey, our buddy Orrin is a member in good standing of the Union of Fuckwit Troll Shitheads (Local 317 – Akron).

            1. norkA-713 lacaL? on drut htaerb.

              1. Dyslexic

                You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.

    3. I was hoping someone would pick up on this. Lets see if Reason does.

      You know what? 36% beef, 40% beef, 90% beef, they’re splitting hairs. Those things all sound like pretty usual food ingredients. It tastes fine and it doesn’t kill me. USDA and FDA food regulation is only good for litigious retardedness like this.

    4. They say “mMade with beef. And the truth of the matter is that they are made from beef. There is no denying that, so the suit is bogus.

      Of course they are also made with cheese, corn flour, soy, anti-dusting agents, etc., but again, just like Taco Bell claims, they are “made with beef”.

      1. Now, if they claimed it was “made OF meat”…

  2. Roger Kimball tells where the phrase “the country is in the best of hands” comes from. It comes from a Johnny Mercer song talking about the New Deal that goes as follows

    The treasury says the national debt

    Is climbing to the sky

    And government expenditures

    Have never been so high

    It makes a fellow get a

    Gleam of pride when they decide

    To see how our economy expands

    The country’s in the very best of hands

    The building boom, they say

    Is getting bigger every day

    And when I asked a feller

    How could everybody pay

    He come up with an answer

    That made everything okay

    Supplies are getting greater than demands

    The country’s in the very best of hands

    That is fucking brilliant. And sadly prescient.

    1. Wouldn’t a problem with that meme be the fact that the debt after spiking during WWII declined and was fairly constant, taking off again only at the occurrence of…the Reagan Revolution?

      1. No. The point of the song is the stupidity of thinking that government spending somehow is responsible for progress. That really has nothing to do with debt or Reagan or anything else other than the New Deal and the idea that paying people to dig ditches and fill them up again is the way to prosperity.

        1. But that’s odd. We never backed down on the level of government spending/intervention that the New Deal ushered in and the result was decades of prosperity…

          1. Because correlation equals causation. We also continued to make lots of color movies during that time. And the NFL continued to grow during that time. The result “prosperity”. We somehow managed to build the largest economy in the world prior to 1932 without all of that. You only link interventionism to prosperity because you desperately want to believe that not because of any evidence that it did anything but act as a parasite on the growth that would was occurring in spite of it.

            1. Since correlation doesn’t mean causation I guess you will never claim any market reforms “worked” based on the fact that indicators improved following them?

              1. Perhaps the market is a cargo cult. And it just a lucky break that every time the free market has been tried it has equaled prosperity. And it is just a really unlucky break that every time central planning has been tried it has coincided with poverty and oppression.

                I guess we will never know to a metaphysical certainty. But your side does seem to be on about a thousand year losing streak.

                1. “And it just a lucky break that every time the free market has been tried it has equaled prosperity.”

                  But wait, we just covered this. We ushered in and maintained decades of prosperity with the New Deal.

                  1. But wait, we just covered this. We ushered in and maintained decades of prosperity with the New Deal World War II.

                    The Truth, doesn’t it feel good?

                    1. Are you under the impression that we cut out New Deal levels of spending and intervention during WWII? WTF?

                  2. No. You turned a bad downturn into the Great Depression thanks to the New Deal. We try to educate you on these subjects. But we can’t do that if you refuse to stop believing in fairy tails. The New Deal made the great depression worse. Everyone outside of Howard Zinn knows that now.

                    I can’t help you MNG. You would rather be ignorant. Again, it is no wonder I am the only person on here who wastes my time with you.

                  3. The government intervention ushered in by the New Deal was maintained, actually increased, throughout the 40s, 50’s, 60’s, all decades of prosperity.

                    So this statement “And it is just a really unlucky break that every time central planning has been tried it has coincided with poverty and oppression.” seems wrong.

                    1. The story isn’t over yet. The central planning that is the New Deal and the Great Society is bankrupting us. One there is no evidence that it produced the “prosperity” of the last 70 years. We had plenty of prosperity before that. And there is plenty of evidence that the programs are going to bankrupt the country.

                      Face it MNG, the gig is up. I am just the messenger. The repo man is here. We can’t afford the blue state model you love. It can’t continue. It is done. It is just a matter of time.

                    2. You have to love John. New Deal followed by decades of prosperity, one could not have caused the other. Economic growth prior to the New Deal following more laissez-faire policies, well the former was caused by the latter. As he castigates my reasoning he trumpets the very same and in the same post no less!

                      Incredible, but John is like most fundamentalists: hurricanes are from the Devil, rainbows are from God.

                    3. We had prosperity before and after the New Deal. It is therefore unlikely that the New Deal gave us the prosperity associated with the post war era. I would think the fact that we have things like property rights, a rule of law, and a hard working population is what gave us our prosperity. If big spending and government control were the key to prosperity, Africa would be the richest place on earth.

                    4. “We had prosperity before and after the New Deal. It is therefore unlikely that the New Deal gave us the prosperity associated with the post war era.”

                      Holy smokes, did you just make that argument? That X occurred without Y before, so when X occurrs with Y later we can assume X and Y could not be causually related? That’s terrible John.

                      “If big spending and government control were the key to prosperity, Africa would be the richest place on earth.”

                      Like Somalia? Or Sudan? Actually government spending in Africa is pretty curvilinear John.


                    5. It’s also amazing to assert that we were following free market principles prior to the New Deal. Skipping over the obvious things like teh Evil Progressives one should not our trade policies during this time that John heralds…

                    6. You do realize that WWII caused a lot of “damage” and “destruction” to the major industrial centers of the world. You may be ignorant of military jargon, but “damage” is shorthand for saying that they couldn’t operate at full capacity. America had no “damage”.

                      We also had many young guys eager to get back and start families, go to college, start businesses, etc, etc.

                      I mean if we are correlating things we must ask why the new deal took so long to work. Almost 10 years of different programs and little or no improvement(sometimes thing actually got worse, to the dismay of the economic interventionists)until a ginormous war breaks out.

                    7. That strikes me as a “just so” story. Some other nations had even less damage than we did (such as neutral countries). Our damage was light compared to some nations, heavy compared to others.

                      But the real point is that despite the programs changing the level of government spending and inteference never really fell for decades and existed alongside decades of economic prosperity.

                    8. You’re going to compare the nation that built up a huge war machine and won WWII to those that spent the war stashing nazi gold. Apples and oranges.

                      Also what relatively “heavy” damage was inflicted on our manufacturing centers. I must have missed the day in history class when we learned about the bombing of Detroit.

                      That’s some evidence you have there master skeptic!

                    9. It is easier to dominate the world stage when most of your competitors and compatriots are either beaten to a pulp or off setting up central planning schemes whilst decimating their populations of “undesirables”.

                      Using free market principles (for the most part)to advance and build a relatively unscathed nation v. regressing to a centrally planned economy, there is no contest, as history has shown.

                      It is perplexing how MNG seems to miss this. Is he/she some sort of central planning command economy type or just a Devil’s advocate?

                    10. If you want to suggest there is a direct correlation between the amount of damage a nation suffered in WWII and it’s subsequent economic performance, and that this trumps economic/governmental policy, which is what you are doing, let’s see the evidence.

                    11. If you want to suggest there is a direct correlation between the amount of damage a nation suffered in WWII and it’s subsequent economic performance… let’s see the evidence.

                      Germany, Japan (outside Tokyo), Austria, Russia, France. Shall I continue? None of those countries were even close to competitive with the U.S. until at least the 70s.

                    12. You have to do better than that as there were a lot of nations with varying levels of damage, from those with relatively none (i.e., some neutral nations) to middle level (us) to great damage (Japan, Germany). You’d have to lay them out along with their economic indicators during that time. I’m betting you’re not going to get the neat correlation that fundies like John require.

                    13. I bet you will get a neat correlation between those countries that fell into the Soviet orbit and those who didn’t.

                      And you would also see a neat correlation between the prosperity that occurred when countries like India were socialist and that which occurred when they liberalized their economies.

                      Freedom and consistent legal protection of property rights gives you prosperity. I don’t know why you find that fact so unnerving and go to such lengths not to believe it.

                      Does it really bother you that much that people do better when their lives are not controlled by others? Do you love tyranny that much?

                    14. You have to do better than that as there were a lot of nations with varying levels of damage, from those with relatively none (i.e., some neutral nations) to middle level (us) to great damage (Japan, Germany).

                      Yes, that booming metropolis of insustry known as Hawaii. What the hell are you talking about saying the U.S. had “medium damage”??

                      It’s because the U.S. came away practically unscathed that we prospered so much and so quickly post-war. That’s exactly the point John is making. But I guess if you live in a fantasy world where America was in the middle of Iceland and Germany/Japan on the damage scale you won’t really respond to logic anyway.

                    15. Well, Japan has the 3rd largest economy, right? So the obvious solution is to nuke a few of our cities to get the economy rolling again.

                    16. At the end of World War II, half of the manufacturing occured in the USA. That might have had something to do with our boom times. Also, it was early in Roosevelt’s Ponzi schemes, when the payoffs are greater. He also made private ownership of gold illegal, which alone should have earned him impeachment and a jail term.

                    17. Why?

                    18. What made us proserous after WWII was a lack of global competition.

            2. We somehow managed to build the largest economy in the world prior to 1932 without all of that.

              [citation needed]

          2. Hmm, right. Decades of prosperity if you conveniently ignore that one decade of deprivation and massive loss of life.

            1. MNG is a moron. If you look at per capita GDP growth, if you take out the years between 1939 and 1943, real per capita income growth was no faster after the creation of the federal reserve and the progressive movement than it had been between 1830 and 1913. The GDP growth that we experienced between 1939 and 1943 was something of a fluke, as it preceded the bulk of the WW2 borrowing and the economy slowed after 1943 even as government borrowing accelerated. The GDP growth experienced during WW2 was also an illusion created by rationing and funky math too.

              From measuring worth:

              Real GDP per capita annual growth rate

              1830 to 1913 1.55%
              1913 to 1939 1.10%
              1943 to 1975 1.56%

              What a period of utter prosperity ushered in by the fed and the progressive era.

              MNG muddles the issue once again. Notice how he doesn’t ever seem to post actual figures.

      2. You mean that Reagan Revolution in which Democrats had control of the House?

        1. Including those Democrats we call “Reagan Democrats” because they endorsed and help pass many of Reagan’s key “market reforms?” Yes.

          1. Like the 1982 tax hike?

            1. To be fair, it was the Republicans back then who suddenly supported withholding taxes. Democrats were against, even though Carter favoured them in the 1980 election. Politics as usual. Nowhere near a revolution.

          2. At the expense of massively rising expenditures on social domestic spending. It was the only way market reforms and increased defense spending could have been passed, hence Reagan being dubbed “The Great Compromiser.”

            It should also be noted Obama has eclipsed in two years Reagan’s budgets and spending several fold, yet these supposed Prosperous Years of the Slurpee have proven anything but. Reagan is also the only president to fire public sector workers, something no president or even local hack politician is willing to do.

            1. “At the expense of massively rising expenditures on social domestic spending. It was the only way market reforms and increased defense spending could have been passed, hence Reagan being dubbed “The Great Compromiser.””

              Granted. But then the meme is not so simple, it’s not “spending equals terrible debt” but spending + not paying for it equals terrible debt.

              1. “spending equals terrible debt” but spending + not paying for it equals terrible debt.

                Kinda hard to pay for it when the golden goose is being bled dry by unchecked entitlements, most notably SS and giving Federal aid crack to the states.

              2. Your “spending + not paying for it equals terrible debt” might have some traction were it not for the fact that the Reagan years saw actual tax revenues at the highest levels ever.

                One of Reason’s writers at the time quipped on the dead tree pages something to the effect of “raise taxes, Congress is running a 350bilion dollar defict now with the highest tax revenues in history, can you imagine how higher they’d make it if we gave them even more?”

                One of the major causes of the debt increase in the eighties was the level of interest rates. For the first time interest on the the national debt became a major line ine in the budget. Much of the increase in the debt was due to the magic of compound interest.

                That said, the only people who believe that Reagan cut either spending or the tax burden are true disciple conservatives and liberals. In bothe cases is reflects the view of true belivers that Reagan was either the greatest statesman or the greatest monster in history.

    2. “The country’s in the very best of hands

      That is fucking brilliant. And sadly prescient.”

      And they say rap lyrics are obscene.

  3. Alan Greenspan, right, a skeptic of regulation who led the central bank as the housing bubble expanded.

    Skeptics of regulation believe they can use interest rates to manipulate the market into better outcomes than if left to its own devices. Makes sense.

    1. There’s a big difference between monetary policy and regulation.

  4. My buddy just got back fro a long stay in the middle east and was telling me that people are freaking out over the Tunisia thing. He was in Libya when things were going down in Tunis. Gaddafi was actually going on the teevee to tell people to stay calm. My friend said he seemed nervous and scared.

    The countries over have been keeping people in line with harsh laws, cheap gas, and hatred for the Great Satan for too long. Maybe the facade is starting to crumble. The reports that I have heard(first hand) are that the caliphates are shitting themselves over this.

    1. I heard Qaddafi is recruiting more WNBA players for his bodyguard team. He’s that scared.

      1. And another facelift. One must look virile in these times of peril.

        1. Indeed. He has a bevy of Slovakian nurses to attend to that plastic visage of his. He and Pelosi must use the same dosage of Botox.

        2. yo quireo virile

    2. So glad the US gives the Egyptian regime a billion or so a year…

    3. Let’s be careful what we wish for. Removal of the bad can often lead to the installation of the worse, especially in Arab countries. Who thinks we could be here fifteen to twenty years from now talking about containing the Egyptian nuclear program, and how supreme leader Ahmed assures us it is for “peaceful purposes.”

  5. I don’t know why you guys won’t read my blog. It’s so funny and awesome. But I also write professionally on the side. My editor is waiting for this but I had to share it with you guys.

    Edward touched the hot skin of Jacob’s chest. It was warm. Edward moved his hand down Jacob’s chest and then touched his big penis and then his big nuts and then his big thighs. Edward was an immortal and drank blood. Bella was menstrating and Jacob was not a wolf right now and Edward drank blood. And Edward glittered in the sun so they were in the forest. Jacob was a werewolf. Werewolves have a constant temperature of 106.5 Fahrenheit. Edward is room temperature even when he is outside. Bella walked up in the forest and Edward could sense her blood with his enhanced vampire senses. Bella said “I’m bleeding and you are a vampire and Jacob is a werewolf.” Edward nodded and Jacob nodded. Bella then said “You should have naked gay vampire and werewolf sex so I can watch and touch myself.” It was so erotic and Bella watched until the sun came up and they all went to school and did not tell anyone what happened.


    Read more on my blog!

    1. Twilight was so 2010

    2. I would rather tear my skin off and would rather roll over a mound of kosher salt and would rather sniff fireants and would rather my eyelids cut off and would rather have my eyes spooned out than read your blog, Rather.

      1. You had me at snorting fireants. I know you’re not an addict, you just love the smell.

    3. Hi, Rectal!

      Bye, Rectal!

      1. You are being a big baby. Your evil philosophy can’t hanlde any criticism. Try not to cry to much face down in warty’s lap tonight.

        1. Rectal, you are nothing better than an attention-seeking four year-old in a toy store with a diaper full of both piss and shit begging your mommy to buy you that American Girl stuffed pony that you could ride if only both of your legs were the same length and you didn’t have that ridiculously large hump on your back that developed when the doctor tried to abort you in the eighth month because your mother was ashamed because your father had been incarcerated for sniffing teenage boy’s underpants in the locker room at the school for troubled youth that employed him as a custodian.

          (BTW, the pony…not gonna happen here)

          1. My father just died, asshole! Read about it on my blog if you don’t believe me!

            1. Well, I hope you’re still able to stuff his rotting erect cock into your chapped pie-hole for the few days until they chuck him in the dirt. At least it would shut you up.

            2. He probably died of the shame that he was the only person who was willing to have sex with you.


                1. In the words of Randall Graves, “You’ll be missed.”

                2. Give Daddy a kiss goodbye.

                  1. Don’t let the door hit ya!

  6. Looks like yet another of John’s outrage memes is beginning to look less and less supported…..=1&hp;
    John will undoubtedly call for Shirley Sherrod to be fired!

    1. After days of bad press and public outrage, none of the people responsible are admitting to it. Gee what a surprise.

      Yes MNG we know, public employees are never wrong. They could have never done anything like this. And the fact that they deny doing so is certainly enough to dismiss the story completely.

      There is nothing these people could do that you wouldn’t defend. And there is nothing they could say that you wouldn’t believe. We know the score. So stop wasting our time.

      1. “And there is nothing they could say that you wouldn’t believe.”

        This is funny coming from a guy who seems to be regularly duped by right wing outrage memes that days and scrutiny later don’t pan out.

        What’s it gonna be this week John?

        1. You link to a story that doesn’t debunk anything. All it says is that people are denying anything happened. Of course they are going to deny it. Do you think the people responsible are going to admit it? So the story hasn’t been debunked. You just pretend it is because that is what you do. You can’t make an honest argument. I don’t know why I or anyone else bothers with you.

        2. Let’s review. A story broke in the right-wing o’sphere claiming an intentional slowdown. The evidence was: one local politician said it was so. He said some guys told him it was so. So the evidence was hearsay related by a politician. And John fell for it. He reported it, he waxed on and on in outrage and called for people to be jailed! Days later the guy is changing his story and no corrobarating evidence can be found…

          John, you got hooked in the gills again dude. You’d think you would hate the right-wing blog o’sphere and swear it off for a while…

          1. Feel for what? The story is still true. Just because none of the union thugs will fess up to doing it, doesn’t mean it didn’t happen. Certainly something happened. The streets were not plowed for a reason. Again, there is nothing these people could do or say that you wouldn’t defend.

            Give it up and take it elsewhere.

            1. “The story is still true, a local politician who has been changing his story says so!”

              That’s some evidence you have there master skeptic!

              1. John, do you like Bass Pro Shop?

              2. You remind me of the people who think Dinosaurs roamed the earth with man. No matter how many times you show them the obvious, they won’t admit it. No matter how many times I point out the obvious fact that your article doesn’t say what you claim, you still act like it does.

                It is just hopeless.

                1. One politician’s changing hearsay is the obvious?

                  Face it John, you got hooked. Again.

                  Fire Shirley Sherrod!

                  1. I suppose you also forgot about this,

                    1. Well that sure shut him up

                  2. I saw fucking video of trucks going down the streets with their plows raised off of the ground, which left the snow in place.

                    1. It’s hearsay, hearsay I tell you! Fuck Shirley Sherrod!

                    2. Cities do this. They tell employees to leave the plow up until they get to their route. Especially if they are plowing and salting.

                    3. I live in fucking Minneapolis; we’ve had 50″ of snow already this year. You are full of shit.

                    4. Grats. You also do a completely different kind of removal than most cities. You actually truck snow out. A lot of cities aren’t prepared to do this. So they prioritize arteries and plow and salt according to a plan. Feel free to contact a public works official in any given city with snow and ask them.

    2. Instead of the Blue Wall of Silence, it’s the Green Cloak of Cover-Your-Ass.

    3. Last June, he followed a city traffic officer, Daniel Chu, whom, he said, he had seen speeding through streets with his siren blaring while talking on a cellphone. The chase ended at a Dunkin’ Donuts, with Mr. Halloran snapping photos of Mr. Chu leaving the restaurant and the officer issuing Mr. Halloran a ticket for parking in a crosswalk.

      The episode ended in mutual recriminations, with Mr. Halloran getting his ticket dismissed and calling Mr. Chu an “infamous rogue agent,” while Mr. Chu notified the city that he intended to sue for defamation.

      Are you sure you linked to the correct story, MNG? Sounds to me like this guy’s just doing the best he can in a corrupt city. And he’s not ratting out individual employees.

    4. I think i would trust a new york mobster before i trusted a new york union rep for city employees…

      Of course in most cases they are the same thing so the distinction may be mute.

      Anyone else see this video:

      I have about 20 hours or less working on a front load loader…and I get payed less then those guys…yet i am fucking positive i could have gotten that thing out of there without putting a scratch on any car.

  7. “Alec Baldwin could be the new Keith Olbermann.”

    Wasn’t he Olbermann before Olbermann was invented?

    1. suki – worst person in the world!

    2. The real question you should be asking is:

      Didn’t Alec Baldwin say he was leaving the U.S. if George W. Bush became president?


  8. The report does knock down ? at least partly ? several early theories for the financial crisis. It says the low interest rates brought about by the Fed after the 2001 recession; Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac, the mortgage finance giants; and the “aggressive homeownership goals” set by the government as part of a “philosophy of opportunity” were not major culprits.

    In other words, we can completely ignore this report.

    To I need to play a rap song for them?

    1. I see that we agree on this one robc.

      This report is teh stupid. It’s basically the Democrat view on markets and capitalism: they don’t work right unless good government types work hard to make sure they do, preferably with taxes, regulations, and regular perp walks down Wall Street. I’m not surprised that the four Republicans on the inquiry didn’t back its findings.

      1. I think where we disagree is that I blame the monetarists for even trying.

    2. This shit really pisses me off. In the very next paragraph, the article mentions that the regulators didn’t require banks to hold enough capital. Uh, wouldn’t higher interest rates have encouraged the banks to hold more? How can they possibly say that low interest rates had little or no effect? The bubble expanded when the interest rates were zero in real terms, and then burst when the interest rates were raised in response to high inflation, which everyone seems to forget was rampant, especially in the developing world, around 2006 to 2007.

    3. Apparently the report panel split right down partisan lines in their support for the findings, so it’s 60% conventional D wisdom and 40% conventional R wisdom. In other words, no point wasting time in reading it.

  9. Chicago news: Illinois Supreme Court refuses Oral in Rahm Emanuel election eligibility case.

    1. Never refuse oral.

      1. Well, from Rahm could be the exception.

    2. You can wrap up a dead fish all you want, but you can’t hide the stench.

      1. Wrong. Vacuum sealer. Plastic makes it possible!

        1. Also keeps bodies fresh in the trunk for days!

    3. As much as i hate Rahm i think he is being unjustly shafted.

      People (if you can call them that) that serve our nation for a limited time should be able to retain their residence at their home state while they serve and retain all their rights associated with that.

      That said I have no sympathy for the man. but even so even dicks like him deserve justice.

  10. Alec Baldwin could be the new Keith Olbermann.

    “Third prize is… you’re the worst person in the world!

  11. So, according to 1000 reason posts over the last 24 hours, Obama made some speech about something?

    That seems odd. Does that kind of thing happen with any regularity?

    But seriously, who gives a flying fuck about the state of the union speech? If the media would stop fucking covering it, or bury it on page B8, maybe the prez would go back to doing it in written form, as intended.

    1. Serious question for any of the reason editors, if they happen to pop in here: Have you all considered not covering the SotU for one year, just to see if anyone notices or complains about lack of coverage?

      I understand why the major networks cover it, they have the FCC to worry about. But print media? You guys dont have any reason to cover it.

    2. See, what this country needs more of right now is bullshit. Bullshit with applause.

      1. I was flipping out when he said his plans will lower the deficit by $400billion over the next 10 years.

        Wow! A whopping $40billion a year! You are a motherfucking miracle worker President Obama!!!

      2. I recently watched seasons 4 & 5 of Bullshit – and I applauded occasionally.

    1. In the spirit of 4chan: SAUCE

    2. Dear Lord, what have you done?

      1. It’s hypnotic, like watching a lava lamp.

    3. …Wow.

    4. Good gravy! Is that an actual jumprope or the worst case ever of a prolapsed rectum?

      On the flip side, if that is her small intestine, sign me up for her yoga classes.

    5. Big deal. Let me know when they start with the double-dutch.

  12. When I am president, I will not give any State of the Union speeches. Instead, I will play the lead in a stage production of Caligula on the Capitol floor. The first 10 Congressmen to stop applauding after the show will be executed. This I promise to you.

    Also, Tool.

    1. Will you be fist-raping anyone? If so, what is your preferred cooking fat?

      1. Bacon grease, obviously. I’ll have plenty around for the cornpone I’m always frying.

        1. Open your EYES, Livia!

      2. Mindtoilet is down. Mindtoilet is down.

    2. caligula supports 100 round drum mags for the execution!

    3. Mister, we could use a man
      Like Gaius Caesar again.

      I thought I’d ended the State of the Union Address nonsense in “The Top 100 Things I’d Do if I Ever Became a Libertarian President“, but I was mistaken. It comes up no fewer than three times:

      39. Supplement my income by acting as a pitchman on various TV commercials: “Hi, you may recognize me from my last State of the Union speech. Did you notice how white my teeth were? That’s ’cause I use Crest.”

      76. My first State of the Union address will simply be to read the Constitution to Congress and the American people. Verbatim.

      84. Sell sponsorship opportunities for events and federal locations–e.g., the “AT&T State of the Union”; “The Martha White House”; “United States of America, Brought to You by Coca-Cola”.

      1. I think you should save #76 for SotU #2. In #1 read the Declaration of Independence.

        Far too many people, including libertarians, dont consider it to be a legal document. I would say that any law contradictory to the principles espoused in the declaration must be null and void because otherwise it makes our independence illegitimate.

        1. The Declaration of Independence is a legal document, in the sense that it is the legal foundation and justification for our separation from Great Britain.

          It could also serve as a justification for secession, since it’s hard to argue that what’s true for the old colonies (with a far smaller population) isn’t true for a state or other grouping of people. The Civil War didn’t really settle that issue.

          1. in the sense that it is the legal foundation and justification for our separation from Great Britain.

            And thus all its principles are binding upong us or the justification is void.

            I guess my point is that a law may be constitutional but not “declarational” and thus should be overturned. Or, really, the constitution presumes all principles from the Declaration.

            1. One way of looking at the Declaration is that it provides an individual justification for resisting government oppression. So, instead of being a structural document like the Constitution, it’s more of a philosophical statement of principles.

              1. I dont disagree, Im just saying that the constitution and all laws of the US must fit within that philosophical statement of principles.

                1. I think a state should test the principle by seceding. Say, California.

                  1. I’ll take your California and raise you Illinois.

                    1. I accept!

  13. If Alec Baldwin becomes the new Olbermann and peppers the Countdown broadcast with dialog from Glengarry Glen Ross, I might watch.

    1. Tax cuts are for closers!!

      1. What’s your name, pal?

    2. 30 Rock ad-libbing would be fine, as well.

      “Never follow a hippie to a secondary location.”

    3. Baldwin is not a bad actor. He made a ten times better Jack Ryan than Harrison Ford ever did.

    4. “You ask me if Olbermann had a God complex. Let me tell you something: I am God.”

    5. Not that I’m complaining in the least, but why is Olberdouche out? Contract with NBC expire? Said something that got him terminated? Saw there error of his ways and embraced libertarianism?

      (hahahaha sorry thought I’d try to sneak that last one in there)

  14. Do you glibertards know what caused the Holocaust? Austerity, that’s fucking what. Moron dipshits.

    1. I’ll quote you the best part so you don’t have to read it. I’m that nice of a guy.

      Simple: Because we’re weakened from having our wells poisoned by free-market, libertarian ideology over the past three decades. We’re weaker, poorer, we’ve turned against the unions and the government, the only two potential sources of counter-power to billionaires and corporations ? what predator wouldn’t move in for the kill at this very moment? Now’s the perfect time to take everything that Austrian economics has to offer to its practitioners. Plundering the weak and shooting them in their heads when they resist ? that’s the definition of courage to America’s degenerate ruling class.

      1. “Plundering the weak and shooting them in their heads when they resist”

        Just the other day there was a picture of that from Kenya.

      2. …we’ve turned against the unions and the government, the only two potential sources of counter-power to billionaires and corporations

        Yeah, this government has been brutal on those corporations like GM, Chrysler, Goldman Sachs…

        The stupid would burn if I didn’t have my lab coat on.

      3. Jebus, the rank, partisan stoopid in that statement is so radioactive that it’s fissionable.

    2. Wow. So the German government in 1930 was applying Hayek to the economy. This despite the fact that Hayek was a little known post doc in the late 20s and didn’t write the Road to Serfdom until 1944. I never knew those Krauts had a time machine.

      1. “Lightning” by Dean Koontz — true story.

    3. Fuck’s sake, Warty. That was like a shotgun blast of stupid.

      1. Mark Ames is the Tubgirl of liberal dipshits. Always fountaining shit all over his face.

    4. I found it interesting that he kept referring to Hayek as “von Hayek”. While he was born that, Austria outlawed the title when he was 19 or 20. He was Hayek after that, so for his entire career.

      Mises, on the other hand, continued to be von Mises as far as I can tell.

      Im wondering if the author was confusing the two or if he did it on purpose.

      1. He’s just Godwinning.

        Adolf Hipster

        1. I’m so disappointed this link is blocked for me.

    5. Awesome article. “Give people ‘free’ stuff or HITLER!”

  15. “The crisis was the result of human action and inaction, not of Mother Nature or computer models gone haywire,” the report states. “The captains of finance and the public stewards of our financial system ignored warnings and failed to question, understand and manage evolving risks within a system essential to the well-being of the American public. Theirs was a big miss, not a stumble.”

    In China, we do not miss, if you catch my drift.

    1. The report’s implications may be felt more in the political realm than in public policy.

      Paramount Leader, what does *this* mean in China?

      1. (brief aside with translator)

        In both political realm and public policy, implications would more like burlap sacks.

    2. I want to see a sketch where Hu Jintao was just handed some “huge intel”. Hilarity might ensue.

  16. For a while, there, I was beginning to think John and MaunderingNannyGoat were the only ones left alive after the ScrOTUm drinking game.

    1. I’m still alive, too.

      1. Perhaps you should take the pain pill.

  17. SHOCK CLAIM: Hawaii Gov. Admits There Are No Obama Birth Records In Hawaii:

    1. If I had my wish, Obama will lose in 2012 and then in 2013 it will be revealed that the birthers were right. He would be out of office, so there wouldn’t be a Constitutional crisis. And the hilarity that would ensue would be priceless.

      1. While I remain certain that Obama is a natural-born citizen of the U.S., if he weren’t, I’d love it to be discovered right now. A constitutional crisis is just what we need.

        1. Them being right would also be the final nail in the major media’s coffin. How would they explain vetting a Presidential candidate so poorly that they missed the fact that he wasn’t eligible to be President? It would be priceless to watch them squirm and thumb suck trying to explain it.

          1. Nah, they’d just say it doesn’t matter because we shouldn’t have that law anyway and that’d be that.

        2. never waste a good crisis

          1. Wouldn’t be his crisis to take advantage of. Even the left would likely turn on him if the evidence was decent.

        3. That would mean–> President Biden! While high in laff value, probably not best for the country.

          1. No, he’d suck, but the crisis would be good. Also, the chance that we’d ever elect a cipher again would go down all the more.

            1. Yes. Obama do good math.

    2. Oh, the Constitutional crisis would be far-reaching.

      If he’s not eligible to be President, then there’s a good argument that nothing he did as President is valid. ObamaCare, everything, gone. Poof.

      1. I wonder what would happen? The Court could decide that Biden was president all along, but I don’t see them allowing him just to retroactively sign bills. They’d probably have to come through Congress all over again.

        Given the way we do elections, it’s also possible the whole ticket would be thrown out, which would make Boehner president.

        1. What would happen? Silly Pro Libertate….

          L.A. Riots x 10^26 is what would happen: even if this would-be monarch was proven illegitimate, it would never see the light of day precisely because of the “historic nature” of his election. He occupying minority status, and a very polarizing one at that, is his best insurance against him being booted from office. Birther types are just grasping at straws.

          Not only will I raise you Illinois, but call with New York…

          1. Depends on the quality of the evidence, I suppose, but it would be interesting to see how far the party would support him if things worked out that way.

  18. I thought that pretentious posturing twat O’Donnell was on deck to be the “new Olbermann”.

    1. Not crazy ed Schultz?

      1. corporatist ass-sucking brownshirt

  19. we’ve turned against the unions and the government, the only two potential sources of counter-power to billionaires and corporations

    What is the fucking deal with this “Savior Cult” mentality?

    People who yearn for divine intervention by outside forces can kiss my ass.

    1. Because fools put way too much faith in unions and government, P.

      Just ask Tony.

    2. Did them maroons ever think “what if the unions and the government are the billionaires?!?! ZOMGZ!1!1!”

  20. [The reort] It criticizes Mr. Greenspan for advocating deregulation and cites a “pivotal failure to stem the flow of toxic mortgages” under his leadership as a “prime example” of negligence.

    I could be wrong, but I’m guessing they think this is a phenomenon completely unrelated to the Fed’s “free money” policy.

  21. MNG touched the clammy skin of John’s chest. It was disgusting. MNG moved his hand down John’s chest and then touched his small penis and then his small nuts and then his small thighs. MNG was an Down’s Syndrome mongoloid and drank urine. Rather was urinating and John was not hermaphrodite right now and MNG drank urine. And MNG glittered in the sun so they were in Warty’s basement. John had Klinefelter’s syndrome. People with Klinefelter’s syndrome have small testicles and reduced fertility. MNG is retarded even when he is in his special needs class. Rather walked down into Warty’s basement and MNG could sense her urine with his enhanced retard senses. Rather said “I’m peeing and you are a mongoloid and John is a hermaphrodite.” MNG nodded and John nodded. Rather then said “You should have naked gay retard and hermaphrodite sex so I can watch and shit myself.” It was so not erotic and Bella watched until the sun came up and they all went to school and did not tell anyone what happened.


    1. You spoofers make me so angry! I’m going to have you banned. I hate you dickfags.

      Read more about this on my blog.

      1. +1

        1. Spoofing should be ILLEGAL!

          1. You’re so right, Rather.

          2. Yeah, Rather’s awesome!

          3. Rather’s so smart! And attractive too.

          4. Everyone one should read her blog.

    2. “enhanced retard senses”.

      1. I think it’s like retard strength.

    1. Mugshots generally make everyone look bad, for obvious reasons.

      That may be the best looking mug shot I have ever seen.

      1. Yep. Wooey-eyed, even.

      2. You should totally add “Must look good in mugshot” to your listing.

    2. Jeepers! That poor girl has awfully asymmetrical features; did she get hit by a shovel or something?

    3. Mr. Leahy can hook her up with a nice doublewide in Sunnyvale Trailer Park.

    4. She looks pretty cute. But damn does she look older than 18 or 19. She looks about 25 in that shot. But she got arrested for drunk and disorderly. At least we know she is a good time.

  22. The captains of finance and the public stewards of our financial system ignored warnings and failed to question, understand and manage evolving risks

    Judging by the fact that hardly any of them suffered any significant personal adverse effects or financial losses, I’d say they understood and managed the risks quite effectively.

    1. ^This.^

      Don’t worry: Tunisia Egypt, et al. are totally unlike the US.

  23. I see Drudge has a link up that the Governor of Hawaii says that there are no Obama birth records in Hawaii. Its Youtube, so its blocked at work.

    I’m hoping some state or other requires that all Presidential candidates provide proof of eligibility, in the form of a birth certificate (not, as Obama has produced, a statement from the registrar that there’s a birth certificate around here somewhere, honest).

    Really, who could object? Why shouldn’t you have to prove eligibility to be on the ballot? Its a much stronger legal position than challenging the results of the election itself (which is what the birthers have done so far).

    The entertainment value would be priceless.

    1. But only for non-minorities RC. Only for non-minorities.

    2. IIANM, all states now have laws that that Record of live birth thingy that you get is a legal birth certificate.

      The days of issuing a certified photostatic copy of the original report of live birth went out…well…kind of with photostatic copies.

      The copy of BO’s certificate that was posted on line looks exactly the same as the one I got from the State of Hawaii when I applied for mine in 2001 or so.

      That said, AFAIK, most states only require that candidates attest to his or her eligibility for the office they are seeking. I would think this could leave them open to perjury charges in the event of it being untrue.

      If any of the claims of any of the birthers are true there would have had to have been a massive conspiracy of malfeasance and perjury in all fifty (57? :o) states involving hundreds of public officials and private citizens.

      1. The COLB is not a valid birth certificate. When applying for a job it cannot be used as proof of citizenship unless it is accompanied by two other recognized documents(given that you only need two I think that it’s pretty clear that the feds don’t accept it).

        Of course, laws may have changed, but I haven’t heard that this one has.

        1. The other documents are required to establish your identity as the person named on the birth certificate. It’s still the birth certificate that establishes your citizenship (or lack of it if it’s not from an American state*).

          Remember when someone hires you they want to know two things. One, that you actually are the person you claim to be and, Two, that you are a citizen or otherwise entitled to work in the USA. Document that prove the former do not necessarily prove the latter.

          The COLB is the only document that Hawaii will issue now. There is no box to check for any other type of document. I suppose a court could order the state to deliver a certified copy of the original registration but the COLB i have state on its face “This copy serves as prima facie evidence of the fact of birth in any court proceeding”.

          *if your not native born you need to have a green card or a naturalization certificate.

          1. My main point is that no state that I know of still issues the “long form” birth certificate.

            If birthers want to claim that the copy of BHO’s BC posted online (I’ve forgotten where) is a forgery or whatever they can. But if it is genuine it is his “birth certificate”.

            Now, admittedly he is old enough to have been issued a long form before the rules changed (and likely would have been since he must have had a passport to travel to Indonesia as a child) but such documents can be lost destroyed etc so it’s possible that he no longer has it.

            At this point I suspect that his whole organization has taken the position that no amount of “proof” is going to satisfy the birthers, so why bother?

  24. Inquiry claims financial crisis could have been avoided.

    The findings are SO wide, they are pretty much useless. This one takes the cake:

    While the panel, the Financial Crisis Inquiry Commission, accuses several financial institutions of greed, ineptitude or both, some of its gravest conclusions concern government failings, with embarrassing implications for both parties. But the panel was itself divided along partisan lines, which could blunt the impact of its findings.

    You got that? People were greedy folks! All it took was a far-ranging investigation to find out such previously unknown piece of information!

    Next investigation will find out that people are vane! Stay tuned for that one….

    By the way, the other “finding” was that government oversight was lacking. Yeah, that was it…

    1. Don’t worry OM. The Democrats are going to fix the greed problem. They’re going to cure us of it. One way would be to fix tax rates so that everyone takes home the same pay, no matter what they do for a living. The rest would go to the government (for high speed rail, green initiatives, and edumacation). Since everyone will have exactly the same, no one will be greedy. Wonder if anyone’s ever tried this before?

    2. You know who is fucking greedy? People who spend other people’s money, then decide that having trillions to play with isn’t enough, so they steal money that hasn’t even been made yet! In part from people who haven’t even been born!

  25. Heh, raccoons.

  26. the other “finding” was that government oversight was lacking

    See? SEE?! I told you we need to review all the regulations!

  27. Any way I can INCIF the endless MNG/John bitch fight? Individually they’re ok. But the heart just goes out of me when I open Morning Links to find post after post of them going at it yet again.

    1. If you roll that scrolly thing on your mouse towards you for a second or two, you’ll be alright.

      1. Mouse? I’m getting this by teletype.

    2. You must let it roll over you as if were a wave. The sand beneath your feet is testament to the mighty rocks that could not understand this: You can sway with the ebb and tide and be one with the sea or you can be smashed to pieces.

      1. “Nature has played a cruel trick on him by denying him Korean blood, but I am not entirely dissatisfied with his progress”

      2. The Final Encyclopedia?

        Reminds me, I never finished that book of the cycle because even at the age of seventeen or so I would get intense headaches from trying to read the tiny text.

    3. Fine. I will let his drivel go unchallenged.

      1. I do. Advantage incif.

  28. Authorities are worried a recent wave of police officer shootings may not be a coincidence

    In just 24 hours, at least 11 cops were shot around the country.

    “It’s not a fluke,” Richard Roberts, a spokesman for the International Union of Police Associations, told “There’s a perception among officers in the field that there’s a war on cops going on.”

    “We don’t have any data, but there seems to be a type of criminal out there looking to thwart authority,” he told the station.

    If these shootings happened thousands of miles apart, the shooters couldn’t have possibly known each other, and there’s not a shred of evidence connnecting any of this, that’s pretty much the definition of a coincidence, isn’t it?

    That’s some fine news reporting there, MSNBC.

    1. They declared war on us first.

    2. Re: Solanum,

      “It’s not a fluke,” Richard Roberts, a spokesman for the International Union of Police Associations, told “There’s a perception among officers in the field that there’s a war on cops going on.”

      But, God Forbid! that all those “accidental” shootings of innocent civilians are construed as a war against people. Nope, it is only when the tax-fed, trigger-happy thugs are killed when we see the propagandists for the State going to high-gear to look for “explanations.”

      1. and of course the fact that these clowns percieve it that way means it is true. I guess this guy also thinks every urban myth is true to. Afterall, they are a reflection of the “perception out there”.

      2. How could any responsible journalist not have also linked this with the incendiary rhetoric that permeates American politics, especially those on the right? (oh noes!)

        Couldn’t this guy put two and two together and get five like a good badge-licker?

    3. “its not a fluke…we don’t have any data.”

      Wat? The same number of officers died in the US in January 2010, was that also a declaration of war?

      1. “its not a fluke…we don’t have any data.”

        It really is no fluke that, they have no data. What the total of useless eaters killed by cops so far this year.

    4. “We don’t have any data, but there seems to be a type of criminal out there looking to thwart authority,”

      Isn’t pretty much every type of criminal trying to thwart authority?

    5. 11 incidents in 24 hours, without any repeat occurrences in the last 24 hours? Sounds like a fluke to me.

      But then, you wouldn’t expect civil servants to understand stats. Math is hard.

  29. that’s pretty much the definition of a coincidence, isn’t it?

    If, by coincidence, you mean conspiracy.

    A vast criminal conspiracy, led by libertarians!

  30. President Biden! While high in laff value, probably not best for the country.

    At this point, I don’t find the “Ohnoes Prezadint Biiiiidiiiiinnnn!” in any way compelling.

    1. I can haz cheesburger will specialize in captioned Biden pics.

    2. May God keep president Obama under His protection and grace, forever and ever… because nobody wants to know what a Biden presidency looks like!

      1. I would be interested in subscribing to your newsletter.

      2. The 2008 financial crisis was an “avoidable” disaster caused by widespread failures in government regulation, corporate mismanagement and heedless risk-taking by Wall Street, according to the conclusions of a federal inquiry.

        What an unexpected result! A government investigation into the “Worst Recession Since the Great Depression” concludes we need more government to avoid another.

      3. Honestly, if I had to choose between Biden and Obama, I’d go Biden.

        1. If only because he has no chance in 2012…

        1. Oops, that should have been a new comment, not a reply…

  31. It’s a sad, sad day. A true entrepreneur has kicked the bucket.

    Milton Levine, who co-invented classic Ant Farm educational toy, dies at 97 in California

    By The Associated Press (CP) ? 1 hour ago

    LOS ANGELES, Calif. ? Milton Levine, co-inventor of the classic Ant Farm educational toy, has died. He was 97.

    His son, Steven, tells the Los Angeles Times that Levine died of natural causes on Jan. 16 at an assisted-care facility in Thousand Oaks.

    Uncle Milton’s Ant Farm has sold more than 20 million copies but it sprang from humble origins. Levine told the Times in 2002 that he got the idea while watching ants during a Fourth of July picnic in 1956.

    He and his brother-in-law came up with a transparent habitat that allowed people to see ants digging tunnels. The ants were sent by mail.

    Uncle Milton Industries went on to become a multimillion-dollar company, and Levine sometimes joked that the ants’ most amazing feat was putting his three children through college, the Los Angeles Times newspaper said.

    How ominous his demise occurred after The Anointed One’s speech.

    1. Billions of ants rejoice at news of captor’s death.

      1. Freedom! Horrible, horrible freedom!

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