Wanna Play a Game?


The TSA unveils its new "Cool Strangers With Candy" program.

[Thanks to Sam Rosenstein for the link.]

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  1. “Domestic extremists have been trying to portray TSA agents as ogres,” said Napolitano.

    Well, you know, I’d probably be bitter if somebody chopped my balls off when I was a child, but I think a well-run eunuch support group might do wonders for you, “Janet”.

  2. This is the problem with trying to brand the term extremist as evil. It just becomes a type of sufix that means you should hate them and not be one.

    I didn’t notice anything in the article that actually pointed to such a program.

    1. You didn’t see the link to the articles showing that the regional TSA director was training TSA agents to tell children that being touched by strangers was a “game”?

  3. You can gauge great satire by how many paragraphs in you get before realizing.

    1. It’s not being denied on the TSA blog.

      1. Perhaps, they’re looking at taking this in a “Life imitating art” direction?

    2. It took me until I got to the van picture.

      1. I was building rage until that part. That’s some good satire there, tell you what.

  4. When you read articles in the MSM that suggest you tell your kid that being felt up by strangers is the same as waiting for a traffic light, you have to wonder if it is satire or a premonition.

  5. I have candy.

  6. I’m tempted to make a joke, but it would be unfair to pedophiles to compare them to the TSA.

    “Studies of personality characteristics on average find low levels of aggression among pedophiles.”

    I suppose that’s why the government thugs targeted pedophiles in the first place.

    1. I suppose that’s why the government thugs targeted pedophiles in the first place.

      Um, no I suspect raping children has a lot to do with it. And their “low levels of aggression” probably explains why pedophiles go after children instead of raping adults.

      1. Like most apologists for anti-pedophile hate crime, you conflate pedophilia with rape. But in fact, just like sex between adults, most pedophilia is consensual.

  7. I was about 2/3 through when I realized it was probably a parody.

  8. You know, when we draft the new Declaration of Independence (or Liberty, or whatever), and we’re listing all the shitty stuff that the feds have done that justify us telling them to fuck off (slavers) and leave us alone, I think “Molested our children and expected us to help make them comply with federally sanctioned sex abuse” should feature prominently.

    This article is the most fucking repulsive shit I’ve read in a while, and I hope when we de-Nazify the U.S., these fuckers are remembered for the boot licking.

    Key offensive quote: “Even though kids younger than 12 aren’t subjected to quite as thorough a security check as an adult (the TSA says they face less-intrusive hand searches, according to, it can still be traumatic ? especially because it contradicts past chats you and your child may have had on “good” and “bad” touching.”

    Um, if your kids feel like they just got molested, have you ever considered that perhaps what happened was child molestation? You fucking collaborators will get yours one day too, God willing.

    1. I wish I believed in God so I could expect justice to eventually be served. Damnit.

  9. Greetings Now i’m for that reason happy I stubled onto any site,Nike Dunk High Prefer came across you will just by error, at the same time Document was first Nike Dunk 2008 Gold Black browsing relating to Bing just for something.

  10. Candy” program.

    [Thanks to Sam Rosenstein for the link.]

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