Friday Funnies

Henry Payne | 11.26.2010 7:00 AM

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a penny a day keeps Obama away 14 years ago

Good morning rctl.

Mildly funny.
1. Rather 14 years ago
  
  Good evening. Flying to Europe this week-I'll post if I have fun with the TSA 🙂 The again, I heard Janet say they are handing out wine and cigarettes after the exam.
  1. prolefeed 14 years ago
    
    The next step for the TSA -- if they think you're a terrorist, they're handing out whining, one cigarette, and a blindfold after the exam.
    1. Rather 14 years ago
      
      prolefeed , you lack imagination, one should be blindfolded during the exam.;-)
anarch 14 years ago

That's not funny.*

*With apologies to the feminists for appropriating their line.
1. sage 14 years ago
  
  Hey, what can I say?
  1. Warty 14 years ago
    
    What can I say
    1. Mincan 14 years ago
      
      Thanks to you I'm going to download Powertrip (1998)
  2. Episiarch 14 years ago
    
    sage, I swear I saw that guy at the Fremont Solstice Parade. There was absolutely a dude in a Batman costume just like that. Shit, I think I have pictures somewhere.
    1. sage 14 years ago
      
      He's obviously very comfortable with his...costume.
    2. Rather 14 years ago
      
      Bedside table?
Corduroy 14 years ago

Wow, that's weak
1. Suki 14 years ago
  
  You are too nice.
2. Suki 14 years ago
  
  Writing "You are too nice." got marked as spam. Maybe it will appear later.
yet another dave 14 years ago

He doesn't get paid for those? Does he?
1. a penny a day keeps Obama away 14 years ago
  
  He gets a free grope once a week. Not much, but its something.
  1. Rather 14 years ago
    
    A penny, I always wondered what you did for a living-mental note: don't shake hands with APAD.
emerson 14 years ago

Scathing.
Mr Whipple 14 years ago

TSA = Tits, scrotum, and ass.
1. a penny a day keeps Obama away 14 years ago
  
  That gets you 2 free gropes a week.
Fist of Etiquette 14 years ago

There was a whole H&R post (or five) with alternate ideas of what the actual acronym TSA meant. You couldn't have stolen one of those?
Xenocles 14 years ago

Does Henry Payne have incriminating information on the entire editorial staff or something?
1. Suki 14 years ago
  
  Impossible, they are all Cosmotarians and immune to embarrassment until they vote for a Republican.
P Brooks 14 years ago

[insert ejaculation of surprise]
1. Rather 14 years ago
  
  I think they have a pill for surprises like that-Hmm Warty?
Attorney 14 years ago

Enough with the kidding around. Where are the Friday Funnies?
1. - 14 years ago
  
  We're not worthy?
  1. Rather 14 years ago
    
    submit your own. I'm tempted.
sage 14 years ago

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
JoshINHB 14 years ago

Where's the porno 'stache and hairy arms?
Coeus 14 years ago

Flying is a choice. If you don't like the intrusiveness, just use other forms of transit. Oh, wait...nevermind.

http://www.foxnews.com/politic.....s-transit/
Coeus 14 years ago

Threadjack: Second-hand smoke killed my mother and raped my father.

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/world/7311815.html
Warty 14 years ago

Yes, Rick Perry, let's invade Mexico. If there's one thing that Mexicans love, it's being invaded by the US.
1. sage 14 years ago
  
  Sounds good at first, but will probably end like this.
  1. AlmightyJB 14 years ago
    
    Now there's a Friday Funny for you:)
2. Coeus 14 years ago
  
  I was reading something about that the other day. They're pretty much fighting a war already with the DPS. Gotta do something with all those cool toys.
  1. sage 14 years ago
    
    There are lots of dogs in Mexico.
    1. Warty 14 years ago
      
      Cachorrocidio! Arriba, alerto El Balko!
      1. Warty 14 years ago
        
        With many apologies for not doing the upside-down opening exclamation mark thing.
        
        BakedPenguin 14 years ago
        
        ?Tu bastardo! ?Ning?n metal m?s para tu!
        
        BakedPenguin 14 years ago
        
        Hey, I wrote an entire post in a non-English language, but the spam filter let it through. When I tried to add a line in Russian (to an English post) last week, it blocked it.
        
        The spam filter is racist against non-Latin alphabet using peoples!
        
        Warty 14 years ago
        
        Dude, why wouldn't it be racist against Russians? I mean, Russians, dude. Ugh.
        
        BakedPenguin 14 years ago
        
        Hey, one of my ex-girlfriends was Russian, and...
        
        Hmmm. Point taken.
hmm 14 years ago

Exactly how fucked up is Prince Georges County?

http://www.washingtonpost.com/.....06891.html
1. Coeus 14 years ago
  
  She should've left the fucking classroom. Jesus, that's like getting a gift for being a little turd. She gets to skip class and finish her conversation. Instead, she took on two security guards and a principle.
  1. This is great. 14 years ago
    
    Not to excuse the student for being a rude little shit, but...
    
    "Pressley said there is no indication that the student was beaten. Instead, the student hurt herself while struggling with the school officials, he said."
    1. mad libertarian guy 14 years ago
      
      About as good as "That's when the security personnel, along with the principal, worked to restrain the student for her safety, along with the safety of the others in the classroom"
      
      She was talking on the cell phone, refused to hang up, and so she had to be restrained for her safety? Is this some sort of new teenage girl eating cell phone or some shit?
2. Warty 14 years ago
  
  You give up a lot of rights when you buy a plane ticket...no...are a teenager. If you don't want to be searched...no...handcuffed and slammed, you're free to choose another form of transportation. No. Education.
3. hmm 14 years ago
  
  The thing that amazes me is an educator defaulted to the means of violence rather than something else. All it takes is stating the student disrupting is doing worse than anyone in the class and since they don't need my time to understand the material I have to assume everyone else understands it. Notes and books away, this exam is worth 30% of your grade.
  
  Stand back and watch the herd cull the weak.
4. Fatty Bolger 14 years ago
  
  Come on. She was asked to leave for disrupting the class. She refused. The principal came to get her, and she still refused to leave. What were the other options at that point? I guess they could have called the cops. Would that be an improvement?
P Brooks 14 years ago

By all means, Governor Perry, we need to send troops over the border to suppress teh evul drulordz; it's worked every other time we've tried it.
P Brooks 14 years ago

The 16 (18? 26? who knows?) inches of snow which has accumulated in the past several days is so light and dry, it's as if somebody dumped fifty billion boxes of baking soda on my little mountain. The wind started blowing yesterday, and overnight winds of 40mph (gusting substantially higher) means the snow drift which invariably forms in my little parking area has almost completely engulfed my pickup truck. There is even a little baby snow drift on the dashboard, where the snow has found its way around the weatherstripping in the window channel.

But the sun is shining, and the temperature has soared into the high twenties.

Even if I wanted to go out there and spend a couple of hours disinterring the truck, I'm sure the road down the hill is drifted shut. I'm not going anywhere; where the fuck are the morning links?
1. Bingo 14 years ago
  
  What state are you in PB? I'm a little jealous, although having snow inside your vehicle doesn't sound like fun.
2. hmm 14 years ago
  
  They are snowed turkeyed in in Cali.
  1. Meh 14 years ago
    
    We're always turkeyed-in in CA.
AlmightyJB 14 years ago

Woman claims she was singled out for additional screening because of her breast. The guys wouldn't be the ones doing the pat downs would they? Isn't it strictly same sex?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/new.....easts.html
1. hmm 14 years ago
  
  lesbians like big boobs too.
2. Coeus 14 years ago
  
  From the article:
  'It was pretty obvious. One of the guys that was staring me up and down was the one who pulled me over,' she said. 'Not a comfortable feeling.'
  
  Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but don't they stare at everyone they pull aside for extra screening? Or do they just close their eyes and flail about randomly until they make contact? (god knows that'd be just as effective as their current bullshit)
  
  Judging from how big those titties are, though, she could just be going on past experience. I'm willing to bet they've been the impetus to a lot of various human interactions.
  1. El Duderino 14 years ago
    
    The TSA agent watched her cross the security zone moving towards her line. She took a good long look at those perky tits and remarked, "God bless America," as she snapped on her rubber glove.
P Brooks 14 years ago

The Fortress of Solitude is located somewhere in Montana.
P Brooks 14 years ago

The sad part about Rick Perry is he almost sounded sane, talking about Medicare.
AlmightyJB 14 years ago

Much better Japanese airport security humor. With happy ending.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v.....r_embedded
1. hmm 14 years ago
  
  Little surprised at the lack of tentacles.
P Brooks 14 years ago

Good column by Peggy Noonan.

If this link gets blocked, try getting there from Google News' "spotlight" stories category.

It doesn't *exactly* fit the thrust of her column, but I'd be happy to sit down with the Bubbleboy-in-Chief and tell him why I think he's a fucking imbecile.
1. BakedPenguin 14 years ago
  
  "Good column by Peggy Noonan."
  
  Agreed. I don't recall ever reading her stuff before, but that was good.
  1. sloopyinca 14 years ago
    
    Try Roger Cohen's NYT piece. Finally some sanity at the Grey Lady. Hell, even the comments tend to hate the nannyism going on.
    1. mad libertarian guy 14 years ago
      
      Agreed.
      
      Every article I read concerning the TSA grope-downs has comments which overwhelmingly lambaste the new policy (rightfully). Where the fuck are all of these Americans who are supposedly the majority that do agree with the new policy?
      
      In virtually every comment thread I see one here and one there, usually comprised of "RIDE THE TRAIN" type of comments, but those are vastly outnumbered by "DTMJ" comments.
    2. C'mon man 14 years ago
      
      Yes, it was. Unfortunately, I read some of his other columns. Wish I left it at that one.
    3. EscapedWestOfTheBigMuddy 14 years ago
      
      Wait, Is this the Cohen who writes the "ethics" column and for some unfathomable reason uses it to advocate stealing umbrellas?
      
      Getting something right?!?
      
      ::Checks the collumnists link::
      
      Phew! It's not: The weather in hell remains hot with a chance of increased hot in the afternoon excepting the ninth circle which is under a severe frost warning.
2. hmm 14 years ago
  
  To hire such a person would be an acknowledgment of not being in touch with people, and that sort of acknowledging an error will never happen. Unless it can be spun as Bush's fault.
  1. Michael S. Langston 14 years ago
    
    Yes that, and once you did hire a person, people would naturally flock to them just like they try to flock to the president in order to ensure they're heard.... IE - the new position would create it's own bubble...
    
    Though I state this with recognition that the point of the article doesn't appear to be actually advocating to hire this person, but to use the story of such a position to highlight how the author believes real Americans think.
    1. Michael S. Langston 14 years ago
      
      *its that is.... I'm constantly aware at the need for an editor....
Paul 14 years ago

Forced.
Nor West 14 years ago

Speaking of reality for the Pres... a fat lip: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/201.....h/us_obama
prolefeed 14 years ago

One of its clients is California-based Rapiscan Systems

I thought that name was satirical, first time I read it. Yahweh, the irony of it being the real name of the corporation behind the sexual molestation machines.

Did the person naming this have a sick sense of humor and clueless bosses?
1. Batman iPhone Cases 14 years ago
  
  HAHAHA TYJA They wont be touching my junk. This country is f'in crazy.
  
  Love the funny. You do a very good job on these comic funnies. Huge comic fan in general though. Superman, Spider-man, Wonderwomen, and even Batman and his batman iphone cases, hold the batphone! If you're a big fan of the funnies and other comic strips check out one of these.
  
  Better watch out for the TYJA. They want to touch it like its hot HAHA
BakedPenguin 14 years ago

Just a (threadjack) note: drank my first Four Loko today (before they're banned). I have to say the consensus is correct. It tastes like lighter fluid with fruit punch, it gets you drunk quickly, and it doesn't kill you, unless you're stupid enough to do something stupid enough to kill you when you're drunk. I will probably pay for this tomorrow with a brutal hangover, but so be it. Fuck the nanny state.
Suki 14 years ago

You can always get a charter and go by their security procedures.
1. l0b0t 14 years ago
  
  This. The (very) few times I've been able to fly charter were fantastic. Mobile phone/laptop use at any point in the journey (making me suspicious of claims that personal electronic devices "interfere" with cockpit equipment), smoking permitted, and the ability to lie down and sleep make it the only way to fly.
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El Duderino 14 years ago

I'm so glad this little situation has brought about the popular use of the term "junk" in reference to genitalia.
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shiroi neko 14 years ago

I like that.

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