TSA

Yes, They Make Three-Year-Olds Take Off Their Shoes, Too

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The Transportation Security Administration: Getting the kid in the seat behind you in a bad mood since 2001.

(Exit question: Was it really necessary to blot out the kiddie-feeler's face? Don't tell me a TSA agent, of all people, has an expectation of privacy.)

Update: YouTube has pulled the video, but you can still see it here.

Update #2: The incident turns out to have taken place in 2008. For the TSA's smug apologists, that's a reason to discount the story. For those of us who aren't johnny-come-latelies on this issue, it's a sign of how bad the process has been for a long time now, even before the new procedures made things worse.

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  1. Jebus on a stick…How long, Oh Lord, how long?

  2. Fuck me, that was here in Houston…

    1. Chattanooga TN, but I rarely have a pleasant experience at either Houston airport.

  3. Father of the year for not only letting his daughter be molested by a government agent in public, but for then reporting it.

    I don’t know which is worse. The douche letting it happen, then qualifying the action while he reports on the fact he videoed it and let it happen.

    1. Not only that, but he prefaces his story by saying that there has to be “balance”.

      Why not show your kid, then follow up with real security experts who say that screenings do nothing to keep any of us safe?

      1. he said that because of the fools who believe it is necessary

    2. In his defense, I’ve traveled with toddlers and it can be mentally and physically exhausting (especially if you’re one of those rare parents that actually tries to keep your kids from bothering others). It’s easy for me to think I’d object and assert my rights as I’m sitting in my office typing on my computer, but given that throwing a stink would create a decent chance of being detained and missing your flight, I can understand just wanting to get it over so you can go home. And at least by videotaping and reporting on it, he’s giving greater exposure to the realities of security theater.

      1. I couldn’t do it. Screaming brat is one thing. Watching someone manhandle a scared child is another.

        At the risk of sounding like Dr. Spock I wonder if at that age there is any level of psychological damage. I know some things that happened to me when I was young are still with me and that girl seemed genuinely fearful.

        1. she will probably remember it forever, but hopefully it won’t be that much trouble in the long run

      2. I know that sounds chest thumpish. But having worked with family courts long enough to see how screwed up children can turn out through the actions of adults even small things like this are things I can’t abide. Especially someone’s daughter. (yes that was gender bias)

        1. I couldn’t stand by and watch it happen to my sons. I know myself too well. I’ve been pissy going through security theater for years – in Saudi Arabia, and now here. It’s to the point now that I’d probably endanger myself and my family.

          Better not to fly at all unless or until this shit goes away.

          1. I wish I could do the same, but I have family on both sides of the Pacific. I don’t have kids (yet), but I have absolutely no choice but to submit to this bullshit.

            The worst part is knowing that a terrorist could probably just detonate a bomb at one of the checkpoints. Or, heck, he could target a major metro subway during rush hour. For maximum psychological impact, try an overcrowded line during an election day. No one’s any safer because of these civil liberties incursions.

            It was like in high school, where whenever we had a bomb threat (this was immediately post-Columbine, so we had a lot), we always fit the entire student body, some 1500 folks, into the gym, and locked the doors from the inside. If someone had planted a bomb underneath the bleachers, we’d be fucked. Alternatively, if someone had hidden a gun in the gym or his backpack, they could target people while kids had trouble getting out and help had trouble getting in. Or, God forbid, someone could do both.

            It’s ridiculously easy to think of ways around security theater. I still, for the life of me, can’t understand how anyone thinks the marginal, hypothetical increase in security is worth the trade-off of waiting in line for an hour so some dopes can X-ray your nuts and feel up your three year-old daughter.

        2. I get exactly what you’re saying, hmm. My point was just that I’m a bit leery about judging people too harshly when they’re put in extreme situations. So basically I have no problem with people questioning the dad’s response, but I don’t think his culpability rises remotely close to that of the TSA.

    3. He sure seemed unruffled by the event. It did occur to me that if he attempted to intervene, we could be hearing a story about a local news reporter spending the night shackled to a bench in a holding cell, with his mysterious absence adding another layer of trauma to the event for his uncomprehending toddler.

    4. he didn’t have a choice stupid..at least he is bringing it to people’s attention

  4. http://www.lewrockwell.com/blo…..69731.html

    “Matt Lauer interviewed the head of the TSA this morning and asked him if it isn’t grotesque for his employees to be groping and fondling children whose parents refuse to let them go through the porno-trons. The head of the porno-tron Gestapo wore a sh_ _-eating grin, and assured Matt that children twelve and under would not be groped and fondled.”

    Well, someone is clearly lying!

  5. “Common Sense Security”

    3-year old girl:
    “Stop touching me!”

    I am willing to bet that those words will NOT resonate in the minds of the Statist FUCKS who believe in the need for the State.

    1. What fun it would be to see a kid start yelling “stranger, danger” and run away from the TSA person. Then the parent yells across the room, “She is taught to do that when someone is trying to sexually assualt her.

      1. Thing is, your kid runs away from you at the TSA checkpoint, and you can’t run after him because the goons’ll tackle and taser you.

        So yeah, you’d have to stand there and yell, and hope SOMEone retrieves your child and brings him back to you.

        1. And it won’t be me. I’m justifiably worried about being labeled a witch pedophile by the state.

          1. Exactly my point. Everybody’s so afraid to help anymore, for fear of being sued or arrested.

            So there goes my 3 year-old, running screaming down the terminal and I can’t do a damn thing about it.

            Greeeeat

            1. You’ll just have to put your child in a kennel to travel.

        2. I’m assuming the TSA person would have to chase her down, and while that’s happening, you’re trying to explain the reason very loudly, you know, because it’s noisy. 😉

          1. MY SON SAID NOT TO TOUCH HIM “DOWN THERE”! You HEARD him scream “NO BAD TOUCH!”

            1. STRANGER DANGER!

        3. Dig this scenario:

          Kid gets spooked by TSA, runs away

          Kid gets abducted from airport

          Good luck filing a lawsuit against TSA

    2. Someone should start a website with a map exactly like the sex offender one only the red dots would represent TSA agents. There’s probably a lot of overlap anyway.

  6. They should train TSA folks to play games with the kids to get them to submit. Like the naked-movie-star game. I hear that one works well.

    1. You don’t know the half of it.

      1. C’mon, c’mon, c’mon, c’mon, now,
        Touch me babe,
        Can’t you see,
        That I am not afraid.

    2. They should also issue them vans with shag carpets inside, painted to look like ice cream trucks.

  7. “Ask to be Deselected.”

    WTF?! And get detained even harder?!

  8. That kid has – by far – the most rational reaction to TSA policies than anyone I have seen yet. I envy her moral convictions and wish we all had her courage.

  9. I’m thinking hajibs are gonna be increasingly fashionable for little kids.

  10. This video is so asinine, it defies words. A good pop in the kisser is what this TSA fuckstick needed.

    1. “A good pop in the kisser is what this TSA fuckstick needed”

      i’m sure you would not get into any kind of trouble doing that…

      1. Depends who is on the jury. I’m going with not guilty all day my friend.

  11. ANAL PROBES….
    how else can we truly be safe???
    ….and, how can we truly be safe if we don’t go past the duodenum???

    1. We have reached the limits of what rectal probing can teach us!

  12. I’m surprised the dad isn’t in the gulag for videoing the encounter.

  13. On the bright side, the TSA is doing yeoman’s work on the development of a new generation of libertarians.

  14. My favorite is the reporter saying security requires trade offs, like sexually assaulting a 3 yo is security. Of course then the reporter might actually have to do some reporting rather than being a mouth piece for the government.

  15. Nothing says “We need a government” more than watching the government molest a 3-year old innocent girl.

    1. Piss-poor way to make your case, OM. Suck it up and deal with it.

  16. This shit is what non-violent resistance was invented for. An organized boycott of the airlines is long overdue.

    1. Yup. I work in the aerospace field and I don’t want to fly anymore. Specifically because of the TSA’s antics.

      1. December will be four years since I stepped on a plane. I changed departments to avoid travel.

    2. You really have to get business on board to get a successful boycott going. Most of airline travel is business related and if the boss says get on a plane and fly here, you’re going to get on a plane. That’s the problem is that they have pretty much a captive audience. If people actually had a choice whether or not to fly, I think there would have been a boycott a long time ago.

      1. If I was the advertising director for a telecom giant, I would be using the TSA in my ads for teleconferencing.

      2. At this point, if the company tried to fire you for not flying, I think you could legitimately sue for sexual harassment.

  17. All to prevent some jihad-crazed lunatic from blowing up an airliner so we’ll relent and impose sharia law here. Which, if you think about it, might not be half as bad as what the goddamn TSA has in store for us.

    1. I think that the only reason the crazies haven’t decided to just start blowing up unbelievers who are mobbed up in a security line is the fact that they are worried that they might take out a few TSA employees.

      They are your best allies in beating down the heathens and all their precious liberties.

  18. If this is what we’re “protecting” what’s the fucking point?

    1. amen brother

  19. An organized boycott of the airlines is long overdue.

    My disorganized boycott started years ago. There is nothing which will induce me to pass through an airport.

    1. I’ll fly if the drive is more than ~18 hours, but I’m starting to reconsider that now.

      1. I can drive from Minneapolis to Atlanta in 18 hours.

        1. EAP,

          Why would you want to leave Minneapolis?

          We have a great new govenor
          We have a great new privately financed baseball stadium that hosted our World Series champion Twins
          We have a smart politicians like Al Franken and Michelle Bachmann
          The Vikings will be bringing home a Super Bowl in a few short months (and they will be breaking ground on their privately financed stadium soon)
          Great balmy weather (thanks AGW)
          Gopher Nation will be going to the Rosebowl

          Well, at least we ain’t Wisconsin

        2. hell I drove from PA to Los Angeles in 22 hours… twice

    2. I have a quarter million frequent flyer miles that I am pretty sure that I am never going to use.

  20. Hey, he had it easy. My son was 11 months old when he was patted down.

  21. Very good TSA Jokes:

    “Can’t see London, can’t see France, unless we see your underpants.”

    “We Steal 2nd Base”

    “Rumor: the TSA will handle more packages this year than USPS”

    http://twitter.com/search?q=#TSAslogans

    1. “The Audacity of Grope”

    2. I like that one. And the post office hates competition. Bonus!

    3. Sounds like a new branding phrase.

      TSA, handing more packages a year than the Post Office.

      1. “We handle your bags …. Your Fun-bags”

        “Truth or Dare”

        “Free bone density scan for all seniors.”

        1. The TSA. More crotch grabbing than a Michael Jackson tour.

    4. Don’t ask; Don’t tell. . . . .

    5. RT @southsalem: Where’s the Beef? #TSAslogans

      ….hahahahahaha!

  22. “Pants on the ground, pants on the ground”

  23. The TSA office is downstairs from my office. Would like to have a little harmless fun at their expense. Suggestions?

    1. “You can’t spell TSA without T and A.”

    2. You mean like a TSA main office or your office is in an airport?

      1. Like an admin office.

        1. You should petition to have a security checkpoint set up for them to go through every morning. Anyone in the building who hates what they’re doing would sign it.

        2. I’m definitely going to buy an “Abolish the TSA” sticker and park as close to the door as possible, for starters.

          …and then prepare for my car to “accidentally” get towed.

          1. you better delete your comment then before they google it

  24. If I had any kind of skill at organizing, I wouldn’t boycott the airports, I would arrange for a group of people to jam them up on the busiest days.

    Five minutes to find a ticket at the counter, five minutes to check a bag, five minutes to find both ticket and idea at the pre-screening check-in, five minutes to take off my shoes right in front of the metal detector, an inordinate amount of metal on my person, objects packed in such a way as to require hand searches, thus removing TSA personnel to personally search me and slow down the lines even further. If I could find some people of various ages and races, I’d try and get some robes and burqa action going on, just to make it even worse.

    If they want a nanny-state so badly, at least make them work for it.

    1. You think the TSA will care about that? The only people you’d be having an adverse effect on are innocent, busy people in a hurry to get to their flight.

      1. Innocent, busy people who are part of the problem because they’d rather submit to this kind of crap because it’s easier just to quietly cede your civil liberties one at a time than stand up to it?

        I don’t really feel bad for them.

        1. Easy for you to say, some of us have to make a living. Kind of tough to fight the good fight after the gas, electric, and phone are shut off.

          1. What’s the point, really, when you owe your living to the government?

            1. The point is to live. And to be better at this game you didn’t choose, than those who make it and force you to play. In this particular case, there’s no winning move, so you endure it. Or you don’t…it’s your choice.

  25. Would everyone just calm down? We’re trying to scare everyone into stopping flying so someone will finally use our really cool choo-choo trains! It’ll all be over soon.

  26. Would like to have a little harmless fun at their expense. Suggestions?

    Go to the thrift store and buy a briefcase; drill a small hole in it. Get one of those flashy-light toys, and place it so the little red flashing light is visible through the hole. Leave it near the front door.

    Oh, wait- define “harmless”…

  27. The best organized action people could take would be tens of thousands of random bomb threats.

    Seriously. A “boycott” would be a joke.

    But if there were 500 fake bomb threats a day to deal with, eventually even the monomaniacs at the TSA would get bored with the whole absurd game.

    1. You know what’s crazy? That would probably work. It’s frightening how easy it would be to shut the whole thing down.

      1. If this tactic would “shut the whole thing down” why haven’t “teh terrorists” done so? They could make the calls from anywhere in the world.

        1. Maybe the terrorists have no real desire to see the security theater that Westerners are subjected to go away.

          Or maybe they just haven’t thought of it yet.

          Or maybe bomb threats are like currency – if you have the real thing, you don’t want to see its value lowered by the introduction of fakes.

          The IRA used to call its attacks in. How pissed do you think they would have been if thousands of fake calls flooded Britain, and their calls could no longer be recognized?

        2. If this tactic would “shut the whole thing down” why haven’t “teh terrorists” done so?

          Because there aren’t many Jews working at security lines.

      2. You’re right. The very fact that this has been allowed to go so far is proof of how cooperative and peaceful people generally are, which is the reason that the TSA doesn’t even need to exist.

    2. I’m still trying to work up mass civil disruptions. Like get 100 people to go through a checkpoint somewhere and do everything legal that slows the process down.

      You know, the stuff we’ve read about. Refuse to answer questions about your business and the like. Just muck up the entire works.

  28. What if somebody put a note in an airplane lavatory which said, “There are no bombs on this plane.”?

    What if a passenger on every flight did that?

    What if you called the airport and said, “There isn’t a bomb. Don’t bother looking.”?

    Oh, the fun we’d have!

    1. “I already took care of the bomb. Have a nice flight.

      Love,
      Superman”

    2. “”What if somebody put a note in an airplane lavatory which said, “There are no bombs on this plane.”?””

      My money is on people would freak out.

      Note about bomb = bomb. No other words are relevant.

      The term reasonable was a fatality of 9/11.

      1. Just leave pieces of paper that say “bomb” and nothing else.

    3. Two reasons why the TSA is an exercise in futility:

      1. Flight 93. That is to say, it is now nearly impossible to pull another 9/11. It would be more profitable for al quaeda to focus their efforts elsewhere.

      2. I enter the airport and pass security. I am neither a threat, nor do I possess any means of becoming one. After the plane has taken flight, I tap a stewardess on the shoulder, point to my carry-on briefcase, and whisper: “I have a bomb.” Question: do I now control this airplane or do I not?

  29. The conspiracy theorist in me wonders if the TSA isn’t an expirament to test how far Americans can be pushed and invaded before they push back. He would also like to say “WAKE UP SHEEPLE!!!”

  30. In response to the growing backlash, Napolitano blatantly lies:
    http://www.prisonplanet.com/bi…..eople.html

    1. It was blocked by Tribune – supposedly. Can’t have the State feel embarrased for “doing its job”, can we??

  31. I propose this for the next cover of Highlights magazine.

  32. Shut the fuck up and be Good Citizens by cooperating with any and all government officials at all times.

    1. I don’t have a problem with this.

    2. I don’t have a problem with this either.

  33. Shut the fuck up and be Good Citizens by cooperating with any and all government officials at all times.

    1. I don’t have a problem with this.

  34. As disgusting as it is for a TSA agent being forced by the terms of his employment to pat down a child, calling it a “sexual assault” is idiotic and only serves to reinforce the general public’s opinion of libertarians as hyperbolic, unserious retards.

    1. So you’re saying if it was done by anybody else besides someone in a TSA uniform, it would not be considered sexual assault? If we’re talking children, in the rest of America this same action would put an adult on the sex offenders list for life. If anyone is hyperbolic, it is the government fearmongerers who insist giving up our rights is the price we pay for a threat about as likely as getting killed by lightning.

      I’m personally NOT one for hyperbole (thus why I have little interest in the Tea Party), but for me this is a line that has been crossed. Even the Bush Administration demonstrated more restraint than this – and that is a sickening thought.

      1. Amusing double standards here. This is the same place that mocks the child-abuse witch hunts of the past with lame jokes (“Where did the [insert witty noun here] touch you?”) but freaks out when a child is touched by a professional, doing his job in public, “touching” a child in the same manner as that child is “touched” hundreds of times a day by his friends and family. And they call this touching “sexual assault.” But it isn’t surprising. Hyperbole is the language of H&R commentators. And these Chicken Lickens wonder why nobody takes them seriously.

        1. Change “professional” to “stranger” and you will see a difference.

          Also note that the girl was actively protesting in the video.

    2. Obviously the real victim here is NOT the frightened 3 year old child who doesn’t want a stranger touching her. The real victim is the poor TSA agent forced by the terms of his voluntary employment with the TSA to have to pat down frightened children. That poor guy. I mean, seriously, he’s the one we should be rallying behind, to help free him from the scourge of conscription into the TSA completely against his will.

      Screw the kid. She’s just a whiny little brat.

      1. Yes. And a brat can be destroyed, or locked up. But, if you make yourself more than just a brat, if you dedicate your whines to an ideal — then you become something else entirely.

      2. Reminds me of when as a med student I had to examine an uncooperative child at a clinic at the No. Chi. VA. She objected to my examining her breasts, and then severely objected to undoing her underpants for a superficial genital inspection. Her mother and I told her that as a big girl she shouldn’t mind these things, and she responded that it was because she was a big girl that she did mind those things.

  35. No doubt once all the TSA employees are unionized, that will make them even more sensitive to passenger complaints. “Oh no, if you complain, I might get suspended with pay!”

  36. a TSA agent being forced by the terms of his employment to pat down a child, calling it a “sexual assault” is idiotic

    He was only following orders; you cannot fault him for that!

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