Get Checked for Warning Signs of Bernankulosis

You and someone you love are at high risk of Bernankulosis. Don't become another victim of the number one killer of economies over 85 percent of global GNP.

You can learn to spot the warning signs of Bernankulosis in today's Washington Post op-ed by Bernankula, Dark Prince of Fractional Reserve Banking. Symptoms include:

Peristent and irrational fear of lower prices:

Inflation that is too low can pose risks to the economy—especially when the economy is struggling. In the most extreme case, very low inflation can morph into deflation (falling prices and wages), which can contribute to long periods of economic stagnation.

Forgetfulness about recent events:

These steps helped end the economic free fall and set the stage for a resumption of economic growth in mid-2009.

Obsessively repeating the same action:

There is scope for monetary policy to support further gains in employment without risking economic overheating.

Dissociative disorder or "fugue state," marked by inability to recognize reality:

This approach eased financial conditions in the past and, so far, looks to be effective again.

Alternating moods of dread and euphoria, unconnected to real-world events:

Stock prices rose and long-term interest rates fell when investors began to anticipate the most recent action.

Spending excessive amounts of time in intricate and elaborately articulated fantasy worlds:

Lower mortgage rates will make housing more affordable and allow more homeowners to refinance. Lower corporate bond rates will encourage investment. And higher stock prices will boost consumer wealth and help increase confidence, which can also spur spending. Increased spending will lead to higher incomes and profits that, in a virtuous circle, will further support economic expansion.

Hostility and defensiveness when questioned:

That is one reason the FOMC has been cautious, balancing the costs and benefits before acting. We will review the purchase program regularly to ensure it is working as intended and to assess whether adjustments are needed as economic conditions change.

Imaginary conversations and delusions of grandeur:

That will take time and the combined efforts of many parties, including the central bank, Congress, the administration, regulators and the private sector. But the Federal Reserve has a particular obligation to help promote increased employment and sustain price stability.

Confusion of having caught a shark for having caught the shark (scientific name murrayhamiltoma):

Two years have passed since the worst financial crisis since the 1930s dealt a body blow to the world economy.

Bernankulosis can be cured by making Rep. Ron Paul (R-Texas) chairman of the House Financial Services Committee. But early detection is the key. Don't ignore the warning signs of Bernankulosis. Because we don't want to lose you.