Reason Morning Links: America Votes, Americans Gunned Down in Jaurez, Giants Win the World Series

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  1. Keith Olberman suspends “Worst Person of the Day” in response to Jon Stewart’s call for civility.

    Further proving that Stewart is the gatekeeper of the hipster doofus left.

    1. If Olbermann were really serious he’d take a cab to the GW Bridge and jump.

    2. Goddammit. I didn’t care about the title, but I was hoping one day to get named that just for the cash prize that comes with it.

    3. Calling Olberman a hipster doofus is an insult to hipster doofi. At least they are ineffectually effete club scum. Olberman is an active shitbag.

      1. Indeed, “hipster” has is brutally over/misused on this blog.

        1. If you’re in your 50s, like Olbermann, chances are you’re not a hipster. I highly doubt he listens to obscure indy rock bands. Not to mention, anyone thta would be a pitchman for Boston Market can’t be a hipster.

          1. It should be noted that shortly after Olberdoodle started pitching for them they declared bankruptcy. Coincidence? I think not.

        2. Indeed, “hipster” has is brutally over/misused on this blog

          This cannot be stated enough. Apparently anyone 25 or younger that leans left is now a hipster.

          1. …or throws snowballs at off-duty cops.

              1. Fuck Heineken!

            1. According to Reason, throwing snowballs at innocent bystanders is fun for the whole family. Apparently, somewhere in the Constitution it says that the right to self-defense is suspended if your attacker is using ice crystal-based objects to attack you.

              1. According to Tulpa, shining a flashlight at someone is assault because it hits them with photons. Since you assaulted them first, they can then shoot you dead with a gun and it’s all square.

                1. Funny, that’s what they think in Atlanta:

                  Authorities say a driver enraged after his Mercedes was splattered with eggs on Halloween fatally shot a 17-year-old in the neck and leg as he tried to run away.

                  Atlanta police spokeswoman Kim Jones says the driver confronted the teen and fired 10 shots at him around 8 p.m. Sunday. The Fulton County Medical Examiner’s office says the teen, Tivarus King, died as he was being taken to Grady Memorial Hospital.

                  http://www.ajc.com/news/nation…..10306.html

                2. According to Fluffy, you can spit in someone’s face and they have no legal recourse other than to smile and thank you.

              2. I don’t even care about the snowball thing. I just know that you will extract the dead badger from your anal cavity, and start hurling against your keyboard in an attempt to make some point whenever it’s mentioned.

                It makes me laugh.

                Oh, and I got through the Laplace transforms…bloody, but alive. We are on nullclines, trajectories, and equilibrium points. I actually like this part.

                1. Badger? Badger? I don’t need no steeenking badger!

                  I actually like this part.

                  You are a twisted little creep, aren’t you? 😉

          2. What about the Gavin McInnes factor?

  2. Four U.S. citizens murdered in Juarez, Mexico.

    I expect David Broder to call for an invasion of Mexico any minute now. For the economy’s sake, of course.

    1. You think you are kidding. I do a lot of work involving the border. There are people in this government dying to get into a guerrilla war in Mexico with the drug gangs. That possibility worries me a lot more than war with Iran or China.

      1. “I do a lot of work”

        I call shenanigans.

        1. It is called multi tasking.

      2. Our southern boarder would be a lot shorter and easier to patrol if we just annexed Mexico, you know.

        1. The North American Union rises once more!

        2. That’s what I keep saying, but no one wants to hear that.

        3. Or just dis-incorporated the entire US.

          Go Anarchy.

          (That was completely non-ironic, just in case any were confused.

        4. It would be shortest if we went all the way down to Panama. And grabbed the rest of North America while we were at it.

    2. I wonder if the increase of violence has anything to do with the increase of meth labs in Mexico. The problem wasn’t this bad until we passed the Meth Act. I have no idea, just curious.

  3. Corporations who jumped ship to rent seek with Democrats may now find it more difficult to rent seek with new Republican leadership.

    In my dreams.

    1. Which raises an important question, at what price point can you be sure that your hitman is legit? I doubt guild-certified hitmen are more numerous than FBI agents. I guess the feds are just forcing us to do our own dirty work.

      *Sigh*
      How times have changed.

      1. Business opportunity. People would pay for a properly vetted hitman or criminal.

      2. “”Which raises an important question, at what price point can you be sure that your hitman is legit?””

        Make him shoot a dog. If he refuses, he’s legit.

        1. I think this would actually work. The real hitman won’t kill the dog unless the dog attacks him even if he’s paid by you to kill it. The agent will kill the dog because he wants to seem legit because he’s too stupid to expect hitmen to have a conscience of any kind.

    2. I wonder if any of these “fake” hitmen actually perform some of the hits to make some money on the side?

  4. Brazilian Court Orders McDonald’s To Pay For “Making” Employee Fat

    A new ruling in Brazil has shaken up the legal world as well as the world of fast food. A former franchise manager for a McDonald’s location in Brazil sued his former employee for his obesity that he says is a direct result of his employment. In a stunning ruling, the court ordered that McDonald’s was liable and ordered the company to pay the man $17,500 in damages.

    1. Being a fat fuck is only worth $17K? I don’t think your retirement plan is going to work out so well, you hideous hermaphrodical character.

    2. Have you seen what creatures end up as fast food managers in America? I refuse to believe they are forced to “taste” the food. They choose to be fat fucks and handle grease all day. Good thing this is in Brazil otherwise I’d vomit with rage.

      And the Wendy’s a quarter mile down the way is offering free breakfast tomorrow. Is it any good? Guess I’ll find out.

      1. The only fast food breakfast I’ll eat at this point is Dunkin’ Donuts. Their breakfast sandwiches taste like food, not sadness and salt like most places.

        1. But I thought tears were yummy and sweet. I guess not all tears are seasoned equally.

        2. Sadness and salt

          That reminds me that I need to check in on the Rick Santorum’s crying kids thread.

        3. I dunno, last time I ate their I didn’t crap for three days. Never again.

          1. I come from a long line of celebrated poopers.

          2. Funny, it has the opposite effect on me.

        4. I will NEVER forgive McDonald’s for what they did to the steak egg and cheese bagel a few months ago. My one guilty pleasure from that place and they have to ruin it. Now I’ll have to take up cocaine or something.

          1. Did they change it or just screw up a particular example for you?

            1. No, they changed it. It used to be a thick elliptical patty that oosed with greasy, fatty, salty goodness.

              Now it’s a thin slice of purported steak, folded to make it look as big as the old one, that tastes like a used tampon.

          2. The keep putting cheese on my hamburgers for some reason.

            So I return them to the counter and explain what cheese does to the innards of a lactose intolerant person.

            I’ve lost count of the free meals they’ve given me.

            1. I ordered a Quarter Pounder with Cheese no onions. They made me a Quarter Pounder with Cheese no Cheese. It even read that way on the special order ticket. So I was billed for cheese I didn’t get.

      2. The manager at one of the local McD’s around here looks strangely like Opus minus the nose.

    3. And just a few years ago this type of lawsuit was used as a joke involving Maggie Lizer (ass off).

    4. Why would anyone eat at McDonald’s?

  5. Edgar Renteria proved to me in his time on the Red Sox that he is a completely worthless bum as a player.

    It’s kind of galling to me that he now has Hall of Fame world-series-winning highlight clips with two different teams, and will now probably become a legend.

    Talk about a guy erasing thousands of games of dogging it with a couple of decent at-bats.

    1. But he was a serviceable shortstop. That is something the Red Sox haven’t had since. They basically spent every year since 07 without a defensive catcher or shortstop. And that more than anything is why they haven’t won another pennant.

      1. After 04, they should have resigned Orlando Cabrera.

        Instead they let him go, because Theo had decided in advance that he wanted Renteria.

        So they overpaid for Renteria, and if you look at Cabrera’s stats in the years since then, he would have done just fine.

        Not to mention the fact that Cabrera was a great locker room guy and Renteria is an emotionless drone and dud.

        1. *nods head sadly*

        2. Doesn’t emotionless drone and dud describe every one of Theo’s players? All of the “idiots” from 2004 were signed by Dan Duquette not Theo. Theo is the guy who thought JD Drew was a good idea. J.D. Drew and Youkolis, probably the most joyless red assed player I have ever seen, are Theo’s idea of ideal players.

          1. Drew is a drone, but Youkilis is the exact opposite of a drone.

            If you watch tape of his at-bats, every single time the guy makes an out he screams “MOTHER FUCKER!@!!!!!” at the top of his lungs and then goes into the dugout and busts shit up.

            He’s always the first guy out of the dugout to jump around like a lunatic when one of his teammates does anything good.

            If you give me a division of men like Youkilis, our problems here would be over very quickly.

            I hate Drew. When is his fucking contract finally up?

            You’re absolutely right, he’s the kind of guy Theo loves. Because he “looks like” a ballplayer, and he’s “all business”. Never mind the fact that he hits .260 and always finds a way to hit the 20 most meaningless home runs of the year.

            1. Never mind the fact that he hits .260 and always finds a way to hit the 20 most meaningless home runs of the year.

              Surely some of the 20 most meaningless home runs belong to A-Rod?

              1. A fair point.

                The Yankees infield is funny.

                Three guys you can’t help but respect, and one guy it’s impossible to respect no matter what he does.

            2. BTW, speaking of Youkilis:

              Is there some performance-enhancing drug that is currently undetectable, but will fill you with horrific rages, make your hair fall out, and make you sweat through your uniform in the first inning of an April game in 45 degree weather?

              ‘Cause if there is, Youkilis is on it.

              1. He is the ugliest dude in sports. He looks like a shaved bigfoot. And I think all of the positive things about him are really just manifestations of roid rage.

        3. Not that unsubstantiated rumors have any place on the webs…
          It was rumored that Cabrera had issues with underaged girls during his time in Boston. Sox wanted to dodge that huge potential nightmare.

  6. I Still Love Obama. Love. Love. Love.

    Try as I might, I will never write anything as sick and twisted as this.

    Me fail life.

    1. You might say, to borrow the accusation frequently leveled at the 2008 media, that I’ve remained in the tank for Obama. The only problem is that, currently, I seem to be in the tank by myself.

      I doubt it, but it would sure be cool if you could all gather in there at once. So we can weld the lid shut and throw it in the drink.

    2. During the almost two years he’s been in office, I (apparently alone among sentient voters) don’t think he’s made any major missteps: As far as I can tell, the economic stimulus package might not have been perfect, but it prevented something bad from being even worse. Health care reform will offer better coverage?or coverage, period?to millions of Americans, including children and those with pre-existing conditions. The American Recovery and Reinvestment Act is providing billions of dollars to improve education and infrastructure. And, hell, I have no idea what Obama could have done differently with the oil spill, with the possible exception of not succumbing to political pressure and so-called optics by making Sasha go swimming with him off the coast of Florida.

      *barf*

      1. This article may serve as an effective dieting tool. Any time I feel a hunger pang, I just need to read a few passages of this gem and suddenly my appetite will be overcome by nausea.

        How does anyone worship a politician like this? Her idealization of the president is regressively childish. Usually people start to recognize flaws in their heroes around age 8 or 9, but this writer somehow missed that stage.

    3. At this point, I love Obama so much that I recently thought if it were 1961, I’d probably display a bust of him in my living room. Then I realized I’m already displaying the 2010 equivalent: On my living room wall, I have a framed version of that famous November 2008 New Yorker cover of the O moon over the Lincoln Memorial. Meanwhile, on my desk, I keep a printed-out photo I first saw on the Huffington Post in May 2009, of Obama in the Oval Office, bending over so a little African-American boy could rub his head.

      Even more *barf*

      1. of Obama in the Oval Office, bending over so a little African-American boy could rub his head.

        For what – luck? Talk about racist. 😉

    4. I came this morning to post this article – you beat me to it. In a season with immense piles of excrement being poured upon the populous, this still stands out.

      He actually believes that Republicans don’t like him for solely personal reasons (that Muslim vibe he gives off), and most moderates who are “disappointed” in him are feeling that way because he hasn’t done enough for the progressive agenda. Wow, that takes a special brand of delusion to accomplish. He admits that he still loves Obama because Obama’s just so darned intelligent, and he’s got that megawatt smile. Wow, what a douche.

      1. In a sane world, this guy would never work in journalism again. Or be able to show his face in polite society. He is as mentally divergent from consensus reality as someone in the subway howling about the rat that crawled up his penis and now controls his thoughts.

        1. In a sane world…
          Yup. There’s your problem.

      2. Isn’t Curtis Sittenfeld a she, the author lady?

        1. Curtis, that most feminine of names.

        2. One would think so based on the content of the article, but I went with ‘he’ after checking the by line. If Curtis is a she, well I apologize, but I’m sure it isn’t the first time someone made that mistake.

    5. Try as I might, I will never write anything as sick and twisted as this.

      Aw, please don’t give up, SF! Surely you can do something with “The youngster wanted to see if the President’s haircut felt like his own.”

      1. I won’t stop, but I know I can never win. Middling at best. What disgust can I inspire compared to:

        I like that he’s married to?and seemingly still quite taken with?a strong, opinionated, gorgeous woman, and that he has two ridiculously cute daughters. I like his mind-bendingly multicultural extended family. I like that in a campaign interview in Glamour magazine, he could fluently and unabashedly talk about Pap smears. I thought that the beer summit of 2009 was delightful. I was even excited when Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize, not realizing until pundits explained otherwise that I was supposed to be aghast at its prematurity. And I wasn’t a bit offended by Obama’s alleged 2008 debate gaffe?a line the otherwise irreproachable Frank Rich mentioned yet again in a column as recently as September?in remarking to Hillary Clinton, “You’re likable enough, Hillary.” Oh, and did I mention that I actually voted for Hillary in Missouri’s Democratic primary? I was one of those Democrats who thought it’d be nice to have an entr?e of eight years of Hillary, with Obama as a vice-presidential side, followed by eight years of a more seasoned Obama as the main course.

        1. hahahhahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha oh my stars this guy is great

        2. Holy shit. That is not parody? He deserves to be on “Glee” with the Obama kids singing songs of praise for dear leader.

          And then later federal agents mistake their songs of praise as a threat on the president, and go in guns-a-blazin’. Now that would be some must-see TV.

          1. Did you see on The Boondocks they had Dick Ridin’ Obama. Pretty funny, and captures the zeitgeist of summer ’08.

        3. crank up the Living Colour!

        4. a strong, opinionated, gorgeous woman

          And she’s SO well spoken.

    6. You know, I’m arguing with people on Fark right now who honestly believe this tripe that Obama’s actually made everything better. It’s amazing.

      1. Your first mistake is being on Fark for anything other than the links. Your second is interacting with them.

      2. The only reason to go to Fark anymore is to troll the locals. They’re beyond rational discourse.

        1. Ok, so it’s not just me. Those threads used to be amusing. Now it’s just 24/7 Full-On Retard.

          1. Nope. They’ve really gone off the deep end.

  7. Voted straight LP and feel clean.
    One exception: Hey, Ohio LP! No candidate for U.S. Senate? You made me vote Socialist Party, you bastards!

    1. Daggone CN, why didn’t you just pass on the senate race like me?

      Seriously, I appreciate all of the libertarian candidates who went to the trouble of getting on the ballot in Ohio.

      1. Ditto in the political cesspool of Chicago, Illinois.

        I kept the faith, brothers.

      2. Yeah, I was happy to see a Libertarian in the Attorney General race. Finally, I was able to vote against DeWine! Had to vote Republican for Congress though (holding nose). Mary Jo Kilroy has to go. Also, voted L in the Treasurers race. Not sure how the Republican is getting all of the endorsements in that race? Doesn’t even seem qualified for the job.

        1. Had to vote Republican for Congress though (holding nose).
          We all do what we can. The LP candidate in that race is actually an old friend of mine, although I would have voted for him anyway.

      3. I did it to make sure my vote’s counted. I figure I’ll be the only vote for that candidate in my precinct.

        And to make John cry.

        1. Socialist Party, though? You know you can write yourself in and it will still be counted, right? Hell, writing in John might have been better.

          1. Nope. Not in Ohio. Only votes for registered write-in candidates are counted.

    2. Painful here in south Florida. Not a single LP candidate anywhere on the ballot. One actual TP candidate. I assumed they meant Tea-Party, but it could have been Toilet Paper, what with Halloween so close…

      We have a strange judiciary election too. You get to vote on “Shall {judge} remain in office” for each appellate and supreme court judge. Being generally opposed to elected judges, particularly those running unopposed, I voted a straight NO ticket for the judiciary. It felt pretty darned good, I must say. Not that it will do anything, but it was still satisfying to give them a thumbs down.

      We also have ballot initiatives down here. I must say, ballot initiatives are a stupid way to run a government. The whole thing comes down to the little blurb they put on the ballot. Nobody really gets to see the actual amendment, and even if they did they wouldn’t be able to understand what the broader implications are. So ballot initiatives get a reflex NO from me as well, unless it is something I’m really familiar with.

      1. Almost as bad in my district in WI. One LP candidate and he’s running for Lt Gov without a Gov on the ticket. And he has pretty unappealing campaign lit; lots about god, not much about policy – I don’t care about the presence of the former in general but the absence of the later makes it obnoxious. If you’re going to run a quixotic campaign for Lt Gov as a Libertarian, at least give me some satisifying material about how you’re going to elimate the cabinet level departments in reverse alphabetic order or something.

    3. Painful here in south Florida. Not a single LP candidate anywhere on the ballot. One actual TP candidate. I assumed they meant Tea-Party, but it could have been Toilet Paper, what with Halloween so close…

      We have a strange judiciary election too. You get to vote on “Shall {judge} remain in office” for each appellate and supreme court judge. Being generally opposed to elected judges, particularly those running unopposed, I voted a straight NO ticket for the judiciary. It felt pretty darned good, I must say. Not that it will do anything, but it was still satisfying to give them a thumbs down.

      We also have ballot initiatives down here. I must say, ballot initiatives are a stupid way to run a government. The whole thing comes down to the little blurb they put on the ballot. Nobody really gets to see the actual amendment, and even if they did they wouldn’t be able to understand what the broader implications are. So ballot initiatives get a reflex NO from me as well, unless it is something I’m really familiar with.

      1. Cyto – Snitker for Senate. Also, write-in “John Wayne Smith” for governor.

        As I mentioned in a previous thread, FL’s ballot access laws are wretched.

    4. I hate when the fucking LP makes me vote Green. The bastards!

      This evening I plan to write my own name in for Virginia’s 8th, though, because neitehr teh LP nor the GP will touch that with a 10-foot pole. Hell, even the R’s rarely touch it.

      1. Really? I voted in that district this morning and voted R just to vote against Jim Moran.

        But there is a independent green candidate on the ballot.

        1. Is there really? I looked at the ballot provided by LWV and only Murray and Moron were listed (serves me right for trusting the LWV)

          1. Yep. Don’t know anything about him.

            J. Ron Fisher – IG
            PO Box 1310
            Falls Church VA 22041
            http://www.ronfisherforcongress.com

            I actually worked the phones for the murray campaign b/c I hate Moran that much. I was shocked at the level of support that I encountered for Murray. He’s more conservative than I’d like, but Moran is just such an asshole. Anyway, I think we might have a bit of a sleeper race here that surprises people.

            I figure that helping Murray win would get rid of Moran and maybe the D’s find someone who’s not such a jerk to take the seat back in 2 years.

    5. There was a Libertarian for governor in MD, but nothing else. I voted for the R (which will mean nothing other than a protest vote in this nauseatingly blue state) where it was just the D and R and voted for the Constitutional candidate for senator against Babs.

      Otherwise, I left the ballot blank where the D ran unopposed. I wanted to write in “Gabe Merkin” but didn’t have the time.

  8. I don’t watch these shows so i didn’t see this. But damn, this is funny,

    I’m enjoying watching Morning Joe at the moment. Joe Klein lamented the fact that the Democrats passed a bunch of bills and then ran away from them. Joe Scarborough pointed out that the polls on those bills weren’t exactly healthy, and reminded Klein that his own magazine is worth a dollar, which is more than Klein’s advice was worth.

    http://pajamasmedia.com/blog/e…..en-thread/

    1. Hahahaha that’s brilliant. What the lefties who cry about the Dems “running away from their record” can’t seem to undertsand is that they wouldn’t be running away from it if it were popular. And when you tell them this, they say it’s just a “communications (propaganda?) problem”

  9. Four U.S. citizens murdered in Juarez, Mexico.

    The drug war seems to be getting much more warish and much closer.

    http://www.foxnews.com/us/2010…..-violence/

    1. Pajamas Media appreciates your comments that abide by the following guidelines:

      1. Avoid profanities or foul language unless it is contained in a necessary quote or is relevant to the comment.

      2. Stay on topic.

      3. Disagree, but avoid ad hominem attacks.

      4. Threats are treated seriously and reported to law enforcement.

      5. Spam and advertising are not permitted in the comments area.

      What a horribly boring place.

      1. Disagree, but avoid ad hominem attacks.

        There goes Tony

        Spam and advertising are not permitted in the comments area.

        There goes anonymity bot

        Threats are treated seriously and reported to law enforcement.

        There goes pretty much everyone else.

        1. They forgot to add something about law enforcement shooting your dog. That would spice things up.

        2. Stay on topic…what are these jokers thinking?

          1. Stay on target… Stay on target.

          2. Well, i just died laughing. So long, folks.

            *Ghostly Shaken Fist*

      2. In other news, little brats prefer the kiddie table because the adult table is boring.

        1. Some of the best, most insightful discussions here have only been tangentially related to the post topic, Tulpa. Staying on topic kills that. Conversations never go where you want (or expect), and that’s a good thing.

        2. Jesus fucking Christ, how are you this proud of being such an insufferably boring cunt? It’s like you actively seek to destroy any joy you see. You are worse than Dan T.

    2. This has only been building up for about the last two to three years or so, with people being kidnapped in Phoenix and our ranchers being murdered on their own property.

  10. Voting is granting too much consent. Not doing it will feel great today.

    1. I voted. But only so that I could vote for Rand Paul. Not that I really care for him all that much, but I figured it would irritate MNG.

      1. We had a question to as to whether to hold a constitutional convention or not.

        I could only imagine what a progressive circle jerk that would be here (“Why *shouldn’t* plants have rights? They’re living creatures too!”) and felt compelled to vote against it, plus other amendments.

        Dr. No has voted.

    2. I voted. Amendments to shoot down, Soil & Water commissioners to ignore, judges to unretain, gridlock to implement.

      1. I voted Saturday. I’m surprised that anyone waits until election day anymore.

        1. No early voting here in New York that I know of.

          I walked the three-quarters of a mile to the town hall to vote, just so I can bitch to anybody who complains that voting is allegedly made difficult.

      2. I probably would have if I had bothered to register, but meh. I still stand by my decision.

      3. I live in the people’s republic of Maryland. There is never anything but mischief in the public questions. I generally vote a straight line “no” ticket.

      4. We had a bunch of bond bills I had to vote No on, and once again I voted against our douchebag Jim Moran, not that it will make any difference here in the belly of the beast.

        1. just voted for the Libertarian Redpath over 30-year career politician (with a cool name) Wolf. Also voted no on all the VA ballots, with the exception of the rainy day fund. And no on our county school bond question – the bloated school system can find the money elsewhere.

        2. Hey Mike – a fellow 8th-Districter, living under Moron’s Tamany Hall dictatorship!

          1. The best thing about the Virginia inner suburbs is that we’re not nearly as whacky as the Maryland inner suburbs!

            1. Exactly!

      5. PL, if you don’t mind me asking, did you vote for Snitker, or for gridlock?

        1. Gridlock. I was very tempted to vote for Snitker, believe me, and most years I would’ve. Part of it, too, is my natural aversion to Charlie “Hamiltonian Tan” Crist.

          1. Yeah, I went for gridlock too. Any other year would have seen a “my party counts too!” throwaway vote – but not this year. With sore-loser-warchest-boy in the race, my vote might actually count for something.

            While I’m on the topic, I was a bit surprised to see Crist go independent in the race. If I recall he was sitting on a warchest of 8 or 9 million bucks at the time. Back in the day you could just keep the cash, but nowadays you have to convert it to a PAC and then pay yourself a salary to run your PAC. Still, that’s a perpetual employment situation right there….

    3. I don’t know how it is in your particular slice of America, but in Florida we have all sorts of State Constitutional Amendments to vote against, plus I got to vote against merit retention for at least half-a-dozen judges. There’s always something to vote against.

      1. Louisiana has ten amendments to vote against.

      2. I had the same experience (see comment upthread). I will say that the “NO on 4” campaign was the first campaign in history to actually backfire with me. Usually I think those “negative attacks will backfire” stories are talking about somebody else. But the vast amounts of money spend telling me to vote against 4 without ever once communicating what the heck 4 is (not even on their website) convinced me that it must be a good thing.

        1. So what did it turn out to be?

          1. Still not sure exactly what the damn thing is. It has something to do with putting a change to the land usage plan to a vote – which makes me think that the opposition is all about allowing back-room deals to change the plans for the benefit of cronies. Opponents are a coalition of unions – particularly construction related unions – and businesses – particularly developers. But I couldn’t suss out what the true impact would be from all of the bullshit being tossed about.

            Here’s what the NO people say is the neutral description of the amendment:

            “Amendment 4 is a proposed amendment of Florida’s constitution which would require taxpayer-funded referenda on all changes to local government comprehensive plans. In other words, this ‘Vote on Everything’ amendment would force Floridians ? not the representatives they elect ? to decide hundreds of technical comprehensive plan changes each year.”

            Now, that ain’t exactly neutral. Also, they intimate that any zoning change is to be put to a vote, but it looks like it is only changes to the overall land usage plan for the region – which might not need to be changed for minor rezoning. Who knows? I never heard any support ads for it, but the negative ads say that the lawyers are for it. The fact that the paragraph above was the only “fact” I ever saw from the NO campaign made me certain that the NO people were up to no good. The YES people might have been up to even more evil, but the NO people drowned them out, so all I heard was something to the effect that “a bunch of idiots who think you are a complete rube want you to vote NO on 4, but they won’t tell you why.” I guess that’s how a negative campaign can backfire. Heck, I’m a firm NO on all amendments until absolutely convinced otherwise, and they still got me biased against them. That’s pretty impressive. All they had to do to win their argument with me was say nothing, and they still lost.

            They’re probably right. It probably is a stupid amendment. We’ll probably be repealing it in a couple of years, just like they are trying to do with the class size amendment. Direct democracy is way overrated….

      3. Virginia basically just had Congress and three State Constitutional Amendments to vote against (exempting military vets from local property tax, things like that), since the Old Dominion holds the big state races in odd years.

        1. Two amendments to allow exemption of special interest groups from property taxes. Those were easy NOs. Rainy day budget enlargement, I’m non-committal on that one.

          1. I voted No across the board on those. The rainy day thing seemed more like a “lock box” that could be raided.

          2. Yeah, I have nothing special against giving vets a raise, but special treatment exceptions from tax are bad for any group.

      4. I was unusually vicious against the justices and judges this time. Voted not to retain about 2/3. Screw ’em.

        1. Only 2/3rds? You’re a piker.

          1. The others are on probation.

            1. I went with a straight no ticket on the judges. It was surprisingly satisfying – I actually felt refreshed after filling in the last little oval signifying my disapproval.

        2. That reminds me how I was a victim of vote fraud in 2000. Here in New York, the judges are usually cross-endorsed, so I vote for write-in candidates. I went to do that in 2000 — and found that my write-in votes from 1998 were still there!

      5. In Indiana we have a proposed amendment to cap property taxes. Which I voted for, because I am against raising taxes, ever, for any reason, even to support widows, orphans, and their undernourished puppies.

        1. But what if that money was used to set kittens on fire?

          1. That depends on whether the charred kittens were then served with or without caviar.

    4. Abstention isn’t seen as withholding consent; it’s tacit endorsement of the status quo. Do you think political legitimacy will be one iota different for 8% vs 80% turnout?

      1. I see what you did there. You went from how it’s perceived to a blanket statement of how it is. Of course, you’re a hopeless idiot, so I shouldn’t expect any less.

        1. In this case, esse est percipi. The only important thing about voting is how it’s seen.

          1. Which makes it even less meaningful to me. Thanks.

    5. I voted to shoot down government-expanding amendments to the City of Houston charter.

      And voted straight LP for the fuck of it.

    6. I’m with you, Warty. First time I haven’t voted in over a third of a century. Why? Two words:

      Al Franken.

    7. Voting is granting too much consent.

      Actually, silence gives consent. Refusing to vote means that you have delegated your choice to the majority who do vote.

      1. Fuck your false choice, and fuck you for good measure. I’m not being silent.

      2. Actually, silence gives consent. Refusing to vote means that you have delegated your choice to the majority who do vote.

        Oh? Since when do the majority of elligible citizens vote?

    8. Do you believe in tipping?

    9. It’s liberating not to vote. Why should I participate when the whole system is rigged against anyone I would care to vote for?

    1. Just played your vid, Warty, and it, no shit, led off with a campaign ad for the incumbent Ohio governor.
      Sweet.

      1. Note what it says: “Every Ohio governor of the past 28 years has disclosed his tax returns, but not (candidate) John Kasich.”

  11. Didn’t Stewart have a segment called “Douchebag of Liberty”? Just sayin’.

  12. OK, I fought with the usuals a little in that other thread this morning, but I am declaring

    DAY OF HAPPINESS AND LUV

    Why, you ask?

    Because Sharron Angle advocated ending social security, and she’s about to beat Harry Reid’s ass into the ground.

    And Rand Paul spoke out against the Civil Rights Act of 1964, and is about to go the US Senate.

    And because soon – so very, very soon – we will get to drink the sweet, sweet tears of Democrat TV commentators.

    So let us bask and enjoy the glow. This is a HAPPY occasion. Let’s not bicker over who killed who or whether John McCain was an asshole. Let’s just have a nice moment.

    1. “Well, in Reasonville they say that the Fluffy’s small heart grew three sizes that day.”

      1. Fluffy was checked in his transports by the churches ringing out the lustiest peals he had ever heard. Clash, clang, hammer; ding, dong, bell! Bell, dong, ding; hammer, clang, clash! Oh, glorious, glorious!

        Running to the window, he opened it, and put out his head. No fog, no mist; clear, bright, jovial, stirring, cold; cold, piping for the blood to dance to; Golden sunlight; Heavenly sky; sweet fresh air; merry bells. Oh, glorious! Glorious!

        ‘What’s to-day?’ cried Fluffy, calling downward to a boy in Sunday clothes, who perhaps had loitered in to look about him.

        ‘Eh?’ returned the boy, with all his might of wonder.

        ‘What’s to-day, my fine fellow?’ said Fluffy.

        ‘To-day?’ replied the boy. ‘Why, Election Day.’
        ‘It’s Election Day!’ said Fluffy to himself. ‘I haven’t missed it. The Tea Party have done it all in one night. They can do anything they like. Of course they can. Of course they can. Hallo, my fine fellow!’

        ‘Hallo!’ returned the boy.

        ‘Do you know the Poulterer’s, in the next street but one, at the corner?’ fluffy inquired.

        ‘I should hope I did,’ replied the lad.

        ‘An intelligent boy!’ said Fluffy. ‘A remarkable boy! Do you know whether they’ve sold the prize Turkey that was hanging up there? — Not the little prize Turkey: the big one?’

        ‘What, the one as big as me?’ returned the boy.

        ‘What a delightful boy!’ said Fluffy. ‘It’s a pleasure to talk to him. Yes, my buck!’

        ‘It’s hanging there now,’ replied the boy.

        ‘Is it?’ said Fluffy. ‘Go and buy it.’

        ‘Walk-er!’ exclaimed the boy.

        ‘No, no,’ said Fluffy, ‘I am in earnest. Go and buy it, and tell them to bring it here, that I may give them the direction where to take it. Come back with the man, and I’ll give you a shilling. Come back with him in less than five minutes and I’ll give you half-a-crown!’

        1. that’s the worst reference to How the Grinch Stole Christmas I’ve ever read. You should be ashamed for writing such utter trash.

          Just kidding. Merry Election Day!

          1. That’s from A Christmas Carol.

            1. Which explains why it’s a shitty version of the Grinch Stole Christmas.

              1. at least somebody understands me!

              2. at least somebody understands me!

        2. What did you have for dinner last night, Fluffy?

          1. A bit of beef, a blot of mustard, a crumb of cheese, a fragment of an underdone potato, and some gravy.

              1. The internet is so much fun.

        3. Staight UP! No joke, he was a tool but the man could write.

    2. I am from the future. Reid wins. However, you still have a chance to change the outcome. Vote now, vote early, vote often.

      1. Your forgot the part about going back further in the past to reprogram the e-voting machines back to where they were before the unions made their “adjustments.”

    3. Schadenfreude is the best freude.

      1. +100. I am going to steal that. I can’t think of a better way to some up today.

        1. Eye strike again!

    4. I’m riding all of my emotions on prop 19, fully expecting to be disappointed.

      Everything else: meh.

      Also, you ratbaggers with your tea and your tears make me sick. Have a beer like a man, dammit.

      1. No word yet on my combination of spiced rum and instant-iced-tea.

    5. I don’t drink anything less than 5% ABV.

  13. Wait. There’s an election today?

  14. I can’t think of three better reasons to celebrate.

  15. OK, who wants to guess the number of House seats the Dems lose today?

    1. Definitely not VA’s 8th (my home)…is Moron (D-umbass) vs. Murray (R-atfucker, who is on the “fiscal responsibility” trendy bandwagon, but still wants to nuke Iran). Moron is guaranteed 80%+ of the vote.

      1. You have my sympathy. I was represented by Moron for a souple of years, and it was an oddly helpless feeling.

        1. I used to live in Sheila Jackson Lee’s district. I know the feeling.

          Seriously, answering a cell phone call in the middle of a question during a town hall meeting?

          Oh wait, that was a white person asking the question. Silly me.

          1. Same Sheila Jackson Lee who wondered why there is no American flag on Mars? Or same Sheila Jackson Lee who confused Korea and Vietnam?

            1. The same. Also the one who flew to Michael Jackson’s funeral to camera whore on stage and then wouldn’t tell the truth about who paid for the trip.

              1. No shit. I am so glad I am in Ron Paul’s district.

                1. I’m in Culberson’s. Nothing special, but at least he isn’t Sheila Jackson Lee.

    2. I’m going to stick with 9 in the Senate and 52 in the House.

    3. Hopefully a lot. As in, they rip the seats out of the house chamber, run outside and down to the FDR memorial and throw them in the Potomac in disgust.

      Then the scumbag GOPers who replace them will either have to stand or sit on the rod that the seat used to be on top of. Unfortunately, some of them will enjoy the second possibility.

      1. Or they could just rest on the stick coming out of their ass like you do.

        1. LOLs!

  16. Anybody else really sick of the preaching to people on election day to “go out and exercise your right to vote!”?

    Seriously, if someone isn’t engaged enough to already be planning to do it, we shouldn’t be encouraging them to vote, we should ignoring them. The stupid and the apathetic are (mostly) what got us Obama because they’re precisely the people who are susceptible to the hype and false promises.

    You should have to jump through, like 2-3 hoops to get to vote. Not only registering, but notifying the county of your intent to participate in a particular election 30 days in advance and then stopping by to pick up your ballot the week before the election. Shit like that that would weed out anyone susceptible to the last minute temptation of demagoguery. Imagine how much better the candidates would be if they knew that the only people that mattered were the people who care enough to be informed.

    Go ahead and flame if you wish, I’m just sick of hearing these empty appeals to superficial “duty” all over the press and the internet and social media.

    Somebody dig Heinlein up and have him write some more books, please.

    1. You inspired me to update my blog, WT, and that takes a lot of doin’.

      1. (Since I’m a-whoring, I might as well use my actual link.)

    2. I think Carlin got it right in this clip:

      http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xIraCchPDhk

    3. As long as one of those hoops isn’t to wear one of those insipid “I Voted” stickers, I’m OK.

      Why do the polling place hags get so bent out of shape when you tell them you don’t want to wear one of those stickers? Am I Kramer in the AIDS walk or something?

      1. im wearing one right now.

        *hangs head in shame…but not sure why*

      2. Choose your attire with care. I have a “Vote Robot Nixon” shirt I wore when I voted. Then I put the sticker over the vote on the t-shirt so it read “I voted Robot Nixon”.

        Simple, childish lulz, but lulz nonetheless.

        1. “look at my shiny new body” surely is a campaign slogan for the ages.

    4. You aren’t alone.

  17. San Francisco Giants win the World Series.

    It’s not a victory parade unless it either ends or begins at the Stick.

    Too bad they couldn’t have pulled this off when I still cared. But at least the ghosts of Jeff Leonard, Dan Gladden, and Atlee Hammaker have been avenged.

    1. I look forward to the day when Leon Durham, Les Lancaster, and Steve Bartman are similarly exorcised.

      1. Poor, poor Steve Bartman.

  18. The best thing we get to do here in Houston is vote against Proposition 3, which asks if Houston should continue its red light camera program. I think it’s going to go down hard. The only people in favor of it are cops and politicians, because, you know, free money.

    1. Well, no, damn it, apparently more people like getting tickets in the mail than I realized.

    2. I voted against it, but I’m afraid most of my family is voting for. My wife doesn’t even remember how she voted, so there’s that.

      1. You apparently need to keep her locked in the basement on Election Day. (The other days are optional.)

        1. In Texas we have early voting for two weeks before election day, so she’ll need food and water and a place to sleep, too.

          1. In Russia ealr vote YOU!

            1. fukin preview

    3. I am in Sugar Land and get all of the ads. Too bad that our cameras aren’t affected by Harris County.

      Interesting factoid I have learned recently from the advertising:

      Red light cameras bring people back from the dead!

      I mean, Mr. _________ lost his _________ in a car accident with a red light runner. So he supports Prop 3 and so should you!

      1. The other version of these ads is the firefighter/policeman who has had the sad duty of responding to accidents. And they know that “red light cameras save lives!”

        (apparently from the force fields that surround drivers as they enter intersections with cameras, no doubt.)

        1. ” force fields ”

          coffee out nose

        2. Most firefights I know like responding to calls, especially if there’s real work to do so they should vote against that.

        3. Those commercials are really pissing me off. I’ve done their job, and responding to traffic crashes is definitely not the hardest part of the job.

    4. seems like there are a some crappy state reps/senators that need to be tossed also. no chance of it happening of course, with the Dems minority stranglehold.

  19. Question, if the election fairy showed up right now and gave you the chance to guarantee three election results today what would yours be?

    Mine would be in any order

    Prop 19 passes
    Lisa Murkowski goes down
    Barney Frank loses

    1. Prop 19, because nothing else will actually increase freedom. Gridlock is desirable, but changing Congressmen is just rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic.

      And the Election Fairy will never grant me my real wish… That yesterday was the day taxes were due without any method of withholding.

      1. This is a day as warty pointed out about Schadenfreude. You are right, the only thing on the ballot that will actually make a big difference is Prop 19. But, enjoying creatures like Frank and Murkowski run out of public life is really enjoyable if not all that significant.

    2. CA Prop 19 is all that matters to me today. Is there anywhere online that I can follow the results as they come in? I can’t find anything.

    3. Prop 19
      Mike Doyle goes down (0% chance, but fairys)
      Prop 19

      1. Rand Paul wins, then kicks Bill Kristol and Mitch McConnell in the nuts

        Prop 19 Passes

        Obama takes the oppurtunity to reveal that he really is a Kenyan Muslim

        1. I want Obama to lose in 2012 and then have it be revealed that he really was born in Kenyon. The hilarity that ensued would be epic. Since he would no longer in office, it wouldn’t do any real harm. But, my God it would be funny to see the birthers proven right.

          1. Would it void anything he signed since he was never eligible? Would his appointed Justices be stripped of their positions? That would be friggin’ awesome.

            1. Once the oath of office is administered, in the absence of an impeachment I think you’re out of luck.

              He could rip off his human mask and announce that he’s Kronos and it wouldn’t matter.

              1. That’s why i voted for Kodos.

              2. Being a space alien isn’t disqualifying for the presidency as long as he was born in the US.

                1. As long as the alien is 35.

    4. Prop 19
      Prop 3 fails in Houston (seriously, I hate the idea of red light cameras)
      One Libertarian gets elected to the Senate, so it is 49 Dems, 50 Reps, and 1 LP.

      1. That third one would be sweet.

    5. Barney Frank doesn’t just go down on election day…

    6. I’ll take Prop 19 and two balls-out LP U.S. senators.

    7. Three wishes:
      Obama decides that, if he’s to win re-election, the troops are coming home like now.
      Joe Biden decides to resign to become an Amtrak engineer. Tooot tooot.
      O’Donnell wins a senate seat and hookups with Krystle Ball, a House winner. John, especially, will love the entertainment that ensues.

      1. As long as it ends up on youtube, I am all for it. Let’s hope the revolution is televised this time.

        1. Great name for Ms. Ball.

          Checked it out. Not enough on top/in front.

    8. Prop 19 passes

      A hefty majority of incumbents lose (including JPM)

      Enough 3rd parties win to scare the bejesus out of the duopoly (although that would probably have the effect of the duopoly making it harder for 3rd parties to get on ballots)

    9. Prop 19 passes.
      At least one LP candidate wins a seat.
      The Democrat rigged voting machines in NY mistakenly turn every Schumer vote into one for his opponent.

    10. Prop 19
      Kristen Davis wins in New York. (Unfortunately, we’re going to get another AG-turned-governor, even though the last one turned out to be a wicked monster.)
      Christine O’Donnell, just because it will really piss of the “right”thinking people.

  20. I didn’t see it in time for the drug thread, but ban caffeine nows!!!

    1. Darwin’s theories are alive and well.

  21. So Rand Paul has dropped the “Me Loves McConnell” routine and now says he intends to challenge him.

    He also says he’s introducing a balanced budget amendment, and a measure to force the Congress to retrieve its lawmaking powers from the executive branch bureaucracy.

    I knew that guy would work out OK.

  22. Which raises an important question, at what price point can you be sure that your hitman is legit?

    A long time ago, friend of a friend, etc…

    You can’t hire a hitman. If you do manage to contract the services of one, which you probably can’t do if you have any questions about it, you’ll be subtly informed what you owe after the job is done (and you won’t be informed that the job is done). The business model isn’t “kill for pay,” exactly. It’s more a soul-at-the-crossroads deal.

    If you know who’s doing the job, or if you know anything about that guy’s reputation or credentials, he’s a cop, or he doesn’t exist and you’re dealing with a cop or a con man. If any information about the target is requested from you by any party to your transaction?cop or con. If there even appears to be a transaction?if anyone asks you anything, or for anything?shit’s gone wrong; you’re being stung, you’re a mark, you’re dealing with amateurs who’ll fuck up and implicate you, or you’re the target of someone else’s setup.

    If someone needs killin’, do it yourself. You’ll probably get away with it if you’re not mad.

    1. Damn, you speak like a man with a lot of experience in this.

    2. Don’t get drunk and spout off about it either.

    3. Cent sign, my man. Do you know you’re like a brother to me? If I every said anything to offend you, I was just funnin’ you, guy!

    4. Dear Cents,

      This post is awesome.

      Sincerely,

      waffles

  23. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hl0FPMdaA2c

    Cash back to anyone who does not laugh at this video of Nancy Pelosi promising no new deficit spending and no burden to future generations.

    1. I didn’t laugh, I cried.

  24. Baby Jesus, if you’re up there and can hear us, one thing I thought I’d mention –

    If there’s any way you can do one of your miracles, one of those loaves and fishes kind of things, and have that wrestling lady beat the biggest cocksucker in Connecticut in tonight’s Senate race, I’d be eternally grateful.

    1. Fluffy, while your parents were smoking dope and listening to the Beatles, SGT Blumenthal was on that wall. And while his existence may be grotesque to you, a simple thank you will do.

  25. Are there laws about explicitly lying in political commercials to convince people to vote a certain way?

    I ask because the ads against prop 19 made a claim about it that is directly contradicted in the text of the proposition. It was a big enough lie that if it were true, I’d probably vote against 19. It’s enough that it could swing the vote to no if enough people don’t bother to read the text of the prop.

    So, umm, any way to punish those lying liars who lie?

    1. Get everyone you know to vote for it. And then have them email or write to the buyers of the ad to tell them they were going to vote against until they saw the ad that straight up lied. People don’t just need to lose, they need to know why they lost and to eat a nice big shitburger for it.

      1. I’ve been trying to get everyone to vote yes on it, but I think it’s likely that it’ll fail. If so, then the lying worked well… I guess I could, if confronted by people who voted against it, show them that they were duped. Cold comfort.

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