If This Be Decapitation, Then Jimmy Carter Really Was History's Greatest Monster!

New York Times reporter Kate Zernike, the woman who taught us that "the rule of law" was an obscure concept coined by "long-dead" author F.A. Hayek, that there might just be "an echo of slavery" in state-level opposition to Obamacare, and that conservatives were trying to woo the youth vote by "using racial stereotypes," is back today with a useful analysis of how the Tea Party is making a real impact in the 2010 midterms. The only Zernikian eruptions occur in her "Faces of the Tea Party Movement" sidebar, where a taxonomy of TP subgroups includes:

Libertarians

Candidates who emphasize individual liberties, embrace Austrian economics, love Ayn Rand.

And:

Off With Their Heads!

Candidates have proposed getting rid of entire federal departments, believing them unnecessary or unconstitutional.

Because nothing says Robespierre like advocating the (unlikely) closure of the National Endowment for the Arts!

Comments

[mick]

If anything the Tea Party represents the Barras faction that outlawed and beheaded Robespierre.

It's Thermidore 2.0!!

[sage]

You can say that again!

[mick]

If anything the Tea Party represents the Barras faction that outlawed and beheaded Robespierre.

It's Thermidore 2.0!!

[P Brooks]

Without the NEA, this country would be a third world backwater.

[Ragin Cajun]

Don't forget the Department of Education...how terrible our schools would be without it!

[Restoras]

The problem isn't the credentialed gentry at the Department of Education, it's that the department is grossly underfunded.

[Ragin Cajun]

Then we should get them some stimulus money! For the children!

[Restoras]

And their children's children!

[AuricTech]

Then we should get them some stimulus money! From the children!

FTFY.

[heller]

Some rich whitey donated $15 million to the private high school I attended. Suck on that, DoE!

[MP]

Just think of all of the progress that's been made since the DoEd began!

[?]

And that's why it would be a tragedy for America's Children? if we abolished the department, just when we're beginning to make some headway.

Also, the War on Drugs?.

[JohnD]

Moron. The NEA is just another useless government agency.

[heller]

Sarcasm, joke's on you!

[octothorpe]

I'm such a philistine I spell it with an F.

[Montani Semper Liberi]

I guess the only way for the NYT to stay relevant is to hire trolls like Zernike to get angry conservatives to visit their website.

[Lint]

It's too bad obvious troll is obvious.

[Brett L]

Me and Rand Paul, members of both groups.

[BakedPenguin]

Myself, I don't see Sarah Palin as Charlotte Corday. But that's just me.

[BakedPenguin]

And me, I usually preview, myself.

[Ragin Cajun]

Me, myself, and I think that Sharron Angle might be better playing that role right now.

[Joe M]

That "In Hot Water" category is a shameless attack. I didn't know that was an ideology.

[micsolana]

Well it's all "code" action, isn't it? You're saying "dissolve the Department of Education," but what you mean is "kill black people." It's so obvious. So transparent.

[JohnD]

I think he meant "kill all liberal black people".... oh wait, that woud be 98% of them. Never mind

[Mr. FIFY]

Gotta save the Uncle Toms and Aunt Jemimas!

[The Gobbler]

Aunt Jemima, what's on your dress?
Aunt Jemima, your kitchen's a mess.
Aunt Jemima, how could you know?
Hot cakes, I love you so.

[sage]

Christine O'Donnell (Del. Senate): Had to explain dabblings in witchcraft

This was reportedly behind her, as she has maintained 12-step activity and kept in contact with her sponsor, who has been witchcraft free for 24 years. But some are questionting evidence that she has slipped, such as possession of a cauldron (which she claims is a lobster pot), and a broom (which she says is for cleaning purposes only).

[Restoras]

What about the vibrating wand? What was her expanations for that so-called tool of magic?

[sage]

Is "expanation" another word for orgasm?

[Gilbert Martin]

"Christine O'Donnell (Del. Senate): Had to explain dabblings in witchcraft"

That's nowhere near as bad as dabbling in Marxism - like the guy she's running against.

[heller]

Racist.

[The Gobbler]

In the age of Harry Potter, it's hard to see how dabbling in whitchcraft can be seen as a bad thing.

[Anonymous Coward]

She's a Death Eater.

[Heartless Libertarian]

When do we get to call off the War on Poverty, and end all of it's associated programs? That'd save a s***load of money, that's for sure.

[heller]

Patience my son, all according to plan.

All according to plan.

[affenkopf]

Plus the war on Drugs plus the war on Aghanistan/Iraq.

[alan]

Got to deprive Afghan kids of an education, don't cha know.

[Aunt Jemima]

War, it's for teh children!

[Anonymous Coward]

But we are giving them an education.

Avoiding Landmines (Physical Education)
Opium Farming for Fun and Profit (Agriculture)
Leading Americans into Ambushes (Foreign Language)
Obtaining Black Market Weapons (Business)

[J sub D]

Call me a French revolutionary.

[Ragin Cajun]

You kept HUD?

[J sub D]

I can't recall why I did. It may well have been an oversight.

[Abdul]

A sixth season of "The Wire" has to come from somewhere.

[P Brooks]

If I had the power to turn people into frogs, there would be a lot fewer flies in the District of Columbia.

[Sack]

Does Rand Paul actually opposing cuts to Medicaid/Medicare? They have him listed under the "Small Gov. but not for me" section.

[Pro Libertate]

Man, I hope we do go through a government-slashing phase. To watch the freak-out by those who think government should do and/or control EVERYTHING will be a real pleasure.

[Mr. FIFY]

Amazing how this has evolved into "cutting government, even a little bit = just like executing people via guillotine".

Or maybe not so amazing. For instance, Tony would believe it without question.

[T]

Well, since leftist of all stripes believe we're heartless monsters that want the poor, sick and hungry to die in the streets, I guess thinking we're ready to start taking heads wasn't too much of a stretch.

[The Gobbler]

"Well, since leftist of all stripes believe we're heartless monsters that want the poor, sick and hungry to die in the streets"

I'd prefer that they died in camps. That way I my driver doesn't have to swerve so often while he drives me to lunch.

[T]

When civilization finally collapse into the Somalian anarchic mess we all so desperately desire, my chauffeur will be driving a full track armored combat vehicle since we will have abolished all those pesky gun control laws. He will swerve for nothing but IEDs.

[Brett L]

Think of all the poor people who could be employed clearing your streets so you dont have to smell them. Its really quite uncomfortable to wrinkle your nose while wearing a monocle.

[Descartes]

Or maybe not so amazing. For instance, Tony would believe it without question.

You just anthropomorphized a sock puppet.

[P Brooks]

I derive great pleasure from the thought of 535 heads, more or less neatly stacked on the steps of the Capitol.

But I'm a monster.

[Mainer]

Oh yes. During the great health care debate I was really hoping some congress critter would get the living shit beat out of him (or her). But that's just me.

[Mainer]

beat out of him (or her)at a Town Hall meeting.

[T]

I'm a fan of the motivational effect of a pyramid of human skulls. It does tend to concentrate the minds of the survivors on possible consequences.

[The fact is]

If we had done this in Iraq and Afghanistan, we'd be a lot better off. But noooo, we were there to be FRIENDS.

[Lint]

Have to include the heads of the unconstitutional agencies as well, or were you including them and excluding the few quasi libertarians in Congress?

[JW]

Just the legislative branch?

Hell, the executive branch should yield at least another couple dozen.

[The Gobbler]

But I'm a monster patriot.

[Juice]

Damn, can I still be a libertarian if I can't stand Ayn Rand and don't want a gold standard?

[asdf]

Because fiat money has been so successful right?

[IceTrey]

If I combine Constitutionalists, Libertarians and Off With Their Heads! does that make me the worst of the worst, a Capitalist?

[CrackertyAssCracker]

Given what an obvious communist bitch this person is, I think that is about as unbiased a taxonomy as we can expect out of her. A+ for effort.

[P Brooks]

If I combine Constitutionalists, Libertarians and Off With Their Heads! does that make me the worst of the worst, a Capitalist?

Only if you profit from it.

[Hazel Meade]

Personally, I'm rather thrilled that ideas like abolishing the income tax, let alone privatizing medicare, are being brought into the mainstream.

Two years ago I would have thought that the income tax was set in stone.

[Joseph C. Moore, USN Ret.]

What is with the sophomoric babble from supposedly intelligent (Libertarian) people? Don't you morons have any real thoughts to express that are cogent?

[von Laue]

Yes what is with the thoughts that are not real and not cogent and are sophomoric (Ridiculous)? It is supposedly intelligent (Reason) but is not (morons).

[von Laue]

Congratulations on your retirement and your middle initial, by the way.

[PapayaSF]

Seaman Moore, Hit & Run comment threads include everything from serious and link-laden arguments to high-spirited joking. This one's a bit on the joking side.

[P Brooks]

It is supposedly intelligent (Reason) but is not (morons).

DRINK!