Colbert Testifies Before Congress


TV host Stephen Colbert talks sense to Congress about an agriculture jobs bill that deals with farm workers, especially the question of migrant workers. Earlier this year, Colbert picked vegetables for day under a UFW program designed to showcase why picking is one of those jobs most Americans don't want to do.

Among the best lines:

I'd like enter a record of my colonscopy into the the Congressional Record….

This is America. I don't want a tomato picked by a Mexican. I want it picked by an American….

My great-grandfather did not travel across 4,000 miles of the Atlantic Ocean to see this country overrun by immigrants….

Most soil is at ground level. If we can put a man on the moon, why can't we make the earth waist-high? Come on—where is the funding?!?…

Maybe we could offer more visas to the immigrants who, let's face it, will probably be doing these jobs anyway….Or maybe the easier answer is to have scientists develop vegetables that pick themselves. The genetic engineers at Fruit of the Loom have made great strides in the development of human-fruit hybrids. The point is, we have to do something, because I am not going back out there [to pick crops again].

About five minutes long.

His ultimate proposal—increasing the number of visas available to willing workers—is actually on target.