Corporate Welfare

Reason Writers on TV: Matt Welch Talks Stadium Swindleage on Russia Today


On Aug. 27, I talked to our friendly neighborhood Russkies about stadium welfare for lying billioniare baseball owners. Approximately 5.58322 minutes.

NEXT: For God's Sake, Don't Cut The Football Team! & Other Stories From Budgetpocalypse

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  1. I’m dubious about your ability to measure time so precisely. [Stomps off in a huff]

    1. The CBO demands more exacting figures after they got burned on Obamacare.

      1. Ah, but see below for the shocking truth.

  2. “Approximately 5.58322 minutes.” 🙂

    1. 5:58 would be closer to 5.96666 minutes.

      1. See! Slovenly timekeepingmanship.

        1. I think its “Timekeepsmanship”.

          1. You make up your own words, and I’ll make up mine.

  3. Russia must be a really libertarian state judging from how ofen they have libertarians on their government propaganda stations. I’m sure they are equally outraged by the fact that the Russian government either directly or indirectly bankrolls most Russian Premier League teams.

    1. But their teams aren’t “hysterically profitable”.

    2. For the first time in my adult life, I’m proud of Russian TV. 🙂

  4. I just watched a movie where the Russian government was really bad and had it out for the U.S. And it wasn’t set during the Cold War!

    1. So it wasn’t Reds, then.

      1. No, no. I saw that movie, too. The Russians were godlike in their goodness and benevolence in Reds.

          1. No, and before you ask, it wasn’t Little Nikita, either.

            1. And what did Prince Andrei do at the end? Yeah, yeah, I read the book though.

              1. Not War and Peace.

              1. Not Cold War Russia!

                1. D.A.R.Y.L.? Come on, man, work with me here.

                  1. It’s connected in some way with Milo Minderbinder.

            2. Or perhaps it was “The Last Days of Hitler?” They had it in for us by then and the Cold War technically didn’t start till after Potsdam.

              1. More recent.

                1. “The Bourne Stupidity” or one of the others in that line?

                  1. No. Did that involve the Russian government?

                    1. The Saint? This is getting to be a pain in the ass.

                    2. No, but Episiarch will appreciate the Val Kilmer reference.

                    3. Unfortunately, you’ve put me in a catch-22, ProL, as I wasn’t very happy with The Saint. I consider it to be a part of Val’s later 90’s post-Heat decline, starting with Dr. Moreau.

                    4. Yes, there is good Val and not-so-good Val. Can good Val be restored, or has he gone to the same place that Coppola went? Not Nick Coppola–he never did much good, except for that Coen thing.

                    5. I think he can be restored. I enjoyed his cameo on Entourage as a weed supplier, but that was years ago now.

                      He needs the right role, that’s all.

                    6. I thought he was okay in that quirky movie with Iron Man.

                    7. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang before we get started.

      1. A video of mail-order brides you picked up at a flea market? For the love of God Pro-L, throw us a frickin’ bone, here!

        1. I did with the Milo Minderbender reference.

          1. Runaway Train?

            1. Jon Voight fathered Angelina Jolie, who starred in Salt.

        2. It’s gotta be something with Jon Voight in it. The ODESSA File?

          1. No. But closer.

            1. How many mustaches are in the movie?

              1. This better be a real movie. If you come out with some Jack Bauer bullshit and say it was a movie instead of a 2-hour episode, I’m gonna be very disappointed.

            2. Salt. Haven’t seen it, but it fits.

              1. I bet you’re right, but I thought in Salt, the Rissian government wasn’t evil so much as it was a few rogue ex-KGBers who set it all in motion.

                Meh. Angelina Jolie hasn’t done anything of significance since Gia anyway.

                1. The Night of the Generals?

                  You need to give it to us soon, Pro L, or we’re gonna start trying to find out where you live.

                  1. Salt. I overstated the malignity of the government, though I think it’s implied that elements of the government supported the evilness.

                    I thought it was okay, though the usual logic-stretching occurred. But I like Bond films, usually.

                    1. You ass.
                      I was thinking that government involvement actually meant government involvement. I guess I’m still learning my way around H&R.

                    2. No, it’s my fault. I actually wasn’t worrying much about accuracy, because I was just making a throwaway comment. The guessing game was not my intent.

                      I’d entertained the notion of saying it was Eat, Pray, Love, but that would’ve been offensive.

  5. Thank you for being precise length of the interview.

  6. I just watched part of the video. I had no idea that I understood Russian. Why, in my head, it sounded just like American English. Huh!

    To make at least one on-topic comment, I hope cities will stop paying the protection money to sports team owners. Fuck ’em. I like my local sports teams, but I’m not willingly paying a dime more than it takes to go to the occasional game or to buy a hat or t-shirt.

  7. Not interested in the subject, but I’ll watch anyway because I always thought that anchor was hot.

  8. I really hope someone (Matt?) will, at long last, answer my question: aside from the obvious fact of her unforgivable hotness, why are Reason staffers habitually on The Alyona Show?

    1. They ask, and they’re close by.

      1. Is the the second part that plays most important? Like, if I lived next door, would I be on the show? Be brutal, I can take it.

      2. Awe…I was expecting something with a bit more intrigue. Something, shall we say, more Koch-esque: as in, Reason happens to be the eminence grise of Russia Today and that Alyona herself is a secret libertarian.

        1. Considering that she asked “is this just a part of capitalism?” about a crony/theft deal, I’d say secret libertarian isn’t in the cards.

          Unless that was a deliberate set-up softball question, of course. (No pun intended).

  9. This is pretty amusing:…..t#comments

    Michelle Greer, a web marketing strategist, made the mistake of commenting on Tech Crunch’s article in response to the lack of females in tech. And she got reamed out.

    “Yo, my math SAT score was, in all probability, higher than yours… Leadership takes all sorts of forms. It just surrounds itself in talent that makes up for where it lacks,” she posted.

    After defending women entrepreneurs and their math abilities, Greer was called illogical, idiotic, arrogant, angry, a troll, and the “c” word.

    Greer, who has had a successful career as former Senior Manager of Corporate Communications at Rackspace, cried for 20 minutes in the shower over the hurtful words. She has demanded commenters be reprimanded for defamation.

    If she was reduced to that by Techcrunch then lets hope she never encounters H&R …

    1. So you’ve become another one of the people who can’t stop reading Jezebel? You’re quite the masochist, I see.

      1. In my defense:

        (a) I saw it on gawker, not the jezebel site.

        (b) SugarFree is an insidious, evil little bastard.

        1. You forgot the “no homo” after saying “I saw it on gawker”.

          Yes, NutraSweet is dangerous. Luckily I’m far too much of a sadist and too little of a masochist to enjoy those sites, so I’m safe.

    2. Huh huh huh huh You said Rackspace.

      1. Fuck, I was too late.

        1. I am denying any responsibility for said condition and am immediately requesting a paternity test.

    3. cried for 20 minutes in the shower over the hurtful words. She has demanded commenters be reprimanded for defamation.

      She may have unwittingly stumbled on the answer to her question.

    4. Greer, a web marketing strategist…who has had a successful career as former Senior Manager of Corporate Communications

      So she’s a PR flunkie. Which makes me wonder why she bothered to respond to the article. Just because your paychecks have a tech firm’s name on them doesn’t make you a techie. The night janitor at Rackspace also works in tech, by her definition.

      1. Word. Maria Cantwell ran Real Networks. I’ll bet Cantwell can’t figure out how her flashlight works.

    5. Michelle Greer, a web marketing strategist, made the mistake of commenting on Tech Crunch’s article in response to the lack of females in tech

      Let me straighten this out for you, you aren’t “in tech.” You’re a limited-talent PR/marketing troll for a (pretty decent) co-lo company. The company is “in tech,” not you.

      Now, if you could set up the web servers, lock them down, design and code the site and set up the CMS system, THEN you’ll be “in tech.” Until then, you’re the idiot help who’s technical skills fully consist of knowing how to turn on her jerkPhone.

    6. Studying computing science, I can assure everyone there is a severe lack of women in IT.

      The ratio is absurd… in some classes there is literally not even one woman. And if there is an actual cute girl in a comp sci class the 100+ guys in class have cause to celebrate and often do.

      1. Chicks don’t want to be in a class with a bunch of fat, ugly nerds. That’s why I take online programming courses.

  10. Rackspace? Is that one of those new companies that employ crazy advertising gimmicks?

  11. Why are the Russians interested in what would appear to be an internal American “scandal” in a middle-tier sport they don’t even play over there?

  12. Also, why were you being interviewed on the subject by Rachael Ray?

    1. It wasn’t Rachael Ray. You couldn’t see her ass on screen.


      1. Actually, I agree with Sir Mix-A-Lot on that count. I can watch her show, so long as the sound is off.

        1. I don’t find her cute at all; I just find her grating and irritating, even with the sound off. She makes obnoxious facial expressions.

          1. Rachel Ray still wouldnt be sexy or cute even if she consumed both Heidi Klum and Laetitia Casta in one sitting.

            1. I concur and further note a total lack of understanding for any other opinion on the topic.

          2. punchable face, fuckable ass.

          3. punchable face, fuckable ass.

  13. Yummers!

  14. That woman is HOT!

    I can’t believe no one has asked the obvious question of whether or not Welch took her out back after the show and did her up the wrong ‘un. Come on, Matt, we’ll keep your secret!

    Yes, Welch is married but we all know anal doesn’t count.

  15. I don’t agree with using public money to fund private stadiums, but Norman Braman is a dick, and if he ever shows his face in Philadelphia again, it will probably be the last place he ever shows his face. Seriously, people still loathe him, here. And if you want to align yourself with him, Matt, then you are a dick, as well. And that little hottie can suck my dick, but I digress.

    The only good thing Norman Braman ever did for the Philadelphia Eagles, was hire Buddy Ryan.

    – Buddy Ryan

    But I guess Eagle’s fans get the last laugh, because he lost a shitload of money to Bernie Madoff.

    I would gladly sacrifice my libertarian principles to piss in the face of Norman Braman.

    Buddy Ryan was the lowest paid coach in the NFL while Braman paid himself $7.5 million and referred to his salary as a ‘few dollars.’ The book further notes:

    … he [Braman] owned the team to torture us [fans]. Mr Braman was a soulless, cold-blooded auto salesman who could have easily stood in for Lionel Barrymore in the role of “It’s A Wonderful Life”s’ Mr Potter.

    If you don’t know Braman’s history with the Marlins, I suggest you do some research.

  16. Russia covers baseball?

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