Raw Milk Bans

Comic Operetta/Courtroom Drama About Raw Milk Debuts Today!

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if you find this appealing, get help

If you happen to be in Durham, Ontario, right now, I am consumed with jealousy. Because you have the opportunity to go see the debut of Milk Trial by Jury, a musical production put together by a dairyman who was acquitted of 19 charges regarding the sale of raw milk. The dairyman in question, Michael Schmidt, also happens to be the artistic director of the venue, Symphony in the Barn, located on a working farm. Which is convenient.

A reminder of Schmidt's story:

Ontario farmer Michael Schmidt was vindicated by the Canadian courts in late January after three years of legal squabbling. While raw milk is legal to drink in Canada, it is illegal to sell. Dairy farmers, unlike their bovine charges, can be a pretty sharp bunch. Schmidt was distributing raw milk, but avoiding regulations by selling his customers a one-quarter ownership stake (good for six years) in each of the 150 cows he keeps at $300 a pop. They own the cow fragment outright, but pay him to provide milking and delivery service. The court ruled that this system was within legally permissible boundaries.

Upon winning, one of Schmidt's cows offered this insightful comment.

Tickets are $35 dollars, but I would pay far more. How often to you have the chance to see a comic operetta/courtroom drama based on a Gilbert & Sullivan show, billed as is a "musical retelling of his legal battle with powerful lobby groups and provincial bureaucrats emerged from Schmidt's January acquittal on charges relating to his dairy operation"?

In my dreams, the police raid production number complete with bovine high-kick line is the all-singing-all-dancing highlight of the show.

I have previous written about Schmidt's legal triumph here. I regret that I failed to see the possibility of telling the story in song at the time.

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  1. Crap. I now have to get help.

    1. It’s so awful, it’s intriguing.

      It’s Hamster Dance meets something too hideous to consider.

      I can’t look straight at it–it’s like staring into the sun it’s so…

      …whatever that is.

      1. Alt-text war on furries.

        Animated gifs should be banned from proximity to articles you’re expected to read.

        1. Just, somebody needs to pull the plug on that thing.

          It’s evil, and it won’t stop.

          I hate knowing it’s out there dancing somewhere.

          1. Little known fact: If you hit stop (or esc) in IE, it will stop that freakshow mid-kick.

            1. It’s the modern version of a prostitute in a red-lighted window.

              1. Everybody has a right to free speech and everything, but I’d like to think people can restrain themselves too…

                …and that dancing cow is just, it’s almost like cruel and unusual punishment.

                Yes, I could just not come back if I didn’t like it that much, but you can’t unring a bell. I’ve seen it. I know it’s out there, and that’s something I just didn’t want to know.

                Thanks for the escape button heads up. Knowing I can at least make it stop dancing right in front of me helps, but the image is still in my mind’s eye. It’ll always be there now.

                Dancing at me.

            2. Why would anyone want to stop the awesome dancing cow?

  2. Too bad the ticket price doesn’t come with cow rental..

  3. Milk Trial by Jury, a musical production

    I can’t wait for the moovie.

    1. If I could reach through the internet I would strangle you to death for that.

      1. It’s the thought that counts.

        1. Then why are you still alive?

          1. I’m a mass of incandescent gas. A gigantic nuclear furnace. Mere thoughts cannot destroy me.

            1. What if I told you that Episiarch was actually John de Lancie?

              1. I hate Q. Fuck you.

                1. You’re welcome! 🙂

                2. He knows you hate him. He’s omnipotent.

                3. How about Malcolm McDowell?

              2. I always though that Epi was John Larroquette.

                1. I AM DAN FIELDING

            2. LIES!

              You are not a mass of incandescent gas, you’re a miasma of incandescent plasma. You’re going to cause the science teachers to drive by with their bumpy cars again.

              1. I eat Sol food.

  4. Dairy farmers, unlike their bovine charges, can be a pretty sharp bunch. Schmidt was distributing raw milk, but avoiding regulations by selling his customers a one-quarter ownership stake (good for six years) in each of the 150 cows he keeps at $300 a pop. They own the cow fragment outright, but pay him to provide milking and delivery service. The court ruled that this system was within legally permissible boundaries.

    Authoritarians would use this as proof that libertarianism would lead to anarchism (you know, “allowing people to do what they want”, “we need more and better laws”, “people are inherently corrupt”, yadda-yadda-yadda). Libertarians can use this as an example of how incredibly stupid and arrogant lawmakers can be.

  5. Sorry, but I can’t read an article if there’s a cow doing the can-can on my screen. And define appealing.

    1. You keep doing that and you’ll go blind.

  6. Brilliant. Perhaps other regulations can be avoided by selling customers ownership stakes – kinda like a co-op. Could only work for consumables that you intend to consume all of and not resell though. Food, water, energy maybe.

    1. Upon winning, one of Schmidt’s cows offered this insightful comment.

      Anyone else getting directed to an Amazon Kindle ad?

        1. That’s one nefarious cow.

          1. I’m still not buying a Kindle.

    2. Imagine a place where one person bakes bread, and another person keeps people safe.

      Yeah, it’s called a town.

  7. That reminds me, a theatre troop near me is holding auditions for Inherit the Wind.

  8. Why don’t they just membrane filter or irradiate the milk to sterilise it?

    1. The whole point is that it is NOT sterile. There are actually GOOD bacteria in the raw product.

  9. In France, cheese makers use mostly raw milk, as they say it gives much better flavor. They would think us crazy for persecuting raw milk distributors. Trader Joe’s has about five different kinds of raw milk cheese.

    Most people are not aware of the following facts about pasteurized milk;

    One, calves who are fed raw milk thrive. If one attempts to feed them only pasteurized milk, they will die
    within a few months.

    Two, countries where adults consume the largest amount of milk products
    also have the highest rates of osteoporosis.

    Three, the homogenization process creates fat gobules which are poorly digested, and begins to cause arteriosclerotic damage. Those entering the military at 18 already show substantial damage.

    Cats do fine on raw milk, but with pasteurized milk, they develop arthritis and other degenerative diseases, and birth defects after 3 generations.

    1. Four, humans aren’t cats or calves.

      1. Well, technically no animal is designed to drink milk after they have been weaned.

      2. hows about 3 uhamanz?

  10. We need GMO cows that fit in a doghouse. They don’t just give milk, they also mow the lawn.

  11. LOL, Kangaroo courts at their finest.

    Lou
    http://www.anonymous-surfing.es.tc

  12. The war on raw milk, in the U.S. waged at the federal and state level, is one small front in a war to compel Americans to eat only what government deems proper. It’s a war in which government colludes with a few big producers (for milk, it’s big dairy interests) against small businesses and consumers.

    Initially, it’s a claim that one cannot do what’s prohibited. If government is left unchecked, it will soon be a claim that one can only do what’s permitted.

    That permitted list will be narrow, bland, and tied to special interests backing incumbent politicians.

  13. I’m still trying to find a CowShare program near enough to my home to give it a go. The nearest one I found was listed on a raw milk site, but they’re an hour and a half from my house.

  14. where we can find them IFDFBEBUD

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