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Politics

The Absolute Latest on the War Between Public & Private Sector Workers or, The Next Time Someone Tells You Educators Don't Make Enough, Tell Them About This $26 Million Dollar Man

Nick Gillespie | 6.17.2010 9:07 AM

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Via Mark Hemingway's Twitter feed and Michael Barone's Examiner blog comes this nauseating tidbit:

Via Tom Elia of the New Editor, here's a list of the top 100 pensions of Illinois school administrators. The valuations represent the worth of the pension assuming the beneficiary retired at age 56 with a life expectancy of another 29 years. The average value of these pensions is $8.879,257.90. The number one pension goes to Neil C. Codell of Niles Township Community High School District (a suburban area just north of Chicago and just west of the lakefront). Mr. Codell's salary is $885,327 and his estimated first-year pension is $601,978. The pension is valued at $26,661,604.

You got that? More from the original New Editor piece, which headlines its bit "And you thought California's pensions were out of control?" and notes "The total estimated cost of these pensions is almost $1 billion -- at $887,925,790 -- for 100 people!"

Previous discussions of the massive, growing, and unsustainable differences between public and private sector economics.

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Nick Gillespie is an editor at large at Reason and host of The Reason Interview With Nick Gillespie.

PoliticsPolicyNanny StateGovernment SpendingEducation
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Hide Comments (173)

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  1. ?   15 years ago

    Why do these people deserve a bailout again?

    Lifetimes of selfless service to the people. Or, because ha!
    Depends on the audience.

    1. Old Mexican   15 years ago

      Re: c,

      Lifetimes of selfless service to the people.

      Can't selfless service be less expensive?

    2. AlmightyJB   15 years ago

      hookers

      http://www.nydailynews.com/new.....ion_f.html

      1. joshua corning   15 years ago

        How is it stealing?

        Saying hookers for unions is stealing is like saying flour for a baking shop is stealing.

    3. wylie   15 years ago

      ha!

      Sifl: Precious Roy?

      Precious Roy: Suckers!

      1. lunchstealer   15 years ago

        Neil Codell
        Neil Codell
        Makin' lotsa suckers out of girls and boys!

    4. JR   15 years ago

      I live in NW suburb of Chicago. There are a lot of idiots that think throwing $$ at these people equates to a good outcome for "the kids". Then again, there are a lot of (formerly) $1M properties in foreclosure in my area.

      Good luck collecting a**holes. The pension trust is hopelessly underfunded.

      1. wtfci   15 years ago

        They're in "Dick Fuld Mold". Dance til the music stops.

        They'll be left behind.

  2. Suki   15 years ago

    He can buy a lot of . . . whatever retired teachers have to buy that they used to find in desks and lockers.

  3. z   15 years ago

    It's my money and I want it now.

  4. James Ard   15 years ago

    I went off on my 59 year old sister who is retiring next year with a hefty Mississippi state pension. She believes the actuaries are correct with their predictions of 6% returns into the future. Goddamn liberals.

    1. Dan T.   15 years ago

      You went off on her for retiring? Or for being smart enough to make a lot of money?

      Hopefully she told you to kiss her ass.

      1. Old Mexican   15 years ago

        Re: DanT,

        Or for being smart enough to make a lot of money?

        Most tax-consuming leeches are smart immoral enough.

        1. Dan T.   15 years ago

          Well, we can't all be saints like the CEOs out there who are making $800k in a month instead of a year.

          1. Barfman   15 years ago

            *barf*

          2. Old Mexican   15 years ago

            Re: DanT,

            Well, we can't all be saints like the CEOs out there who are making $800k in a month instead of a year.

            Exactly - considering the CEO's are given those salaries in a voluntary transaction, wheres tax-consuming parasites are fed with stolen money. Good call there, Dan T.

            1. joshua corning   15 years ago

              In old Mexican's defense i can't even get quotes to work incorrectly.

              I have to use italics

            2. High School Dropout   15 years ago

              Last time I checked school budgets were voted on by the public, one of the few appropriations we actually have a say in.

          3. JR   15 years ago

            Dear Dumbass

            There is an important distinction - shareholders are the ones that suffer if CEO is overpaid.

      2. Ted S.   15 years ago

        You went off on her for retiring? Or for being smart enough to make a lot of money?

        She's a government worker. She didn't make one red cent; she took it from the productive sector.

        1. wtfci   15 years ago

          Don't hate the player. Hate the game.

          She played by the rules. It's the rubes that bought it that are the fools.

    2. Mango Punch   15 years ago

      They probably are - but only because we'll be getting to 8% inflation before too long.

      1. Yonemoto   15 years ago

        8%??

        You're an optimist =)

        1. wtfci   15 years ago

          Seriously. We're already at 8% using the old CPI formula. Subtracting the costs with the highest rates of inflation fabricates the more conservative figure reported today.

  5. Always Look At The Sunny Side   15 years ago

    Mr. Codell's salary is $885,327

    we have to keep pace with private sector community college salaries or we could lose this guy.

    1. .   15 years ago

      Since when are community colleges private sector?

      1. Slut Bunwalla   15 years ago

        Some are, some aren't.

  6. Yonemoto   15 years ago

    Don't worry. After we inflate away these pensions, it will be less of a taxpayer burden.

  7. Barf man   15 years ago

    *barf*

  8. Virginia   15 years ago

    My prediction is the only legislation from Governor Quinn's office related to this horseshit will be a law barring actuarial figures from being made public.

    1. gaijin   15 years ago

      You are well tuned to the mechanisms of government in the Land of Lincoln!

    2. Barack Obama   15 years ago

      What an excellent idea! How do you like the title of "Czar"?

      1. JR   15 years ago

        Nicely played

  9. Warren   15 years ago

    No alt text Nick? For shame.

  10. Yonemoto   15 years ago

    Actually the interesting thing is, if you look at the individuals with the most years of experience, they are getting the least net pension estimate.

  11. MP   15 years ago

    Mr. Codell's salary is $885,327

    That is false. That's his projected salary after 14 years assuming a 7%/year increase. His 2007 salary was $343,345.

    In addition, although this spreadsheet projects liability, it does not account for employee contributions.

    This is a pretty piss-poor analysis.

    1. Always Look At The Sunny Side   15 years ago

      that's good news. I thought we were close to overpaying this guy.

    2. swillfredo pareto   15 years ago

      In addition, although this spreadsheet projects liability, it does not account for employee contributions.

      I see no mention of any. Typically beneficiaries of defined benefit plans do not make contributions.

      This is a pretty piss-poor analysis.

      So is failing to be mortified that a 7% annual increase is not insane.

      1. MP   15 years ago

        Typically beneficiaries of defined benefit plans do not make contributions.

        I don't think that's "Typical" at all, but I'm no national expert. The public employee contracts that I'm familiar with all have a funding component for the pension plan.

        So is failing to be mortified that a 7% annual increase is not insane.

        It is insane. It's also not contractually obligated. It's an arbitrary value that's used to inflate the projections to make them scarier. But given today's climate, it's nowhere near realistic.

        Look, there's a lot of ugly numbers on this spreadsheet. But the projections are not done well at all.

        1. Invisible Finger   15 years ago

          It's an arbitrary value that's used to inflate the projections to make them scarier.

          Perhaps.

          Then the question becomes "scarier to what end?" To scare people into coughing up more money in property taxes? Or to scare teachers into voluntarily forfeiting some of their pension money?

          The answer depends on who's providing the statistics. The story was originally reported by the Chicago Sun-Times, and they filed a FOIA request to get the salary history of the listed people and never got the information.

    3. Alan Vanneman   15 years ago

      $343,345 is not too much for a school superintendent. A guaranteed 7% raise for the next 14 years, if that's what it is, is unreasonable. Public employees should retire after 40 years of service, not 34.

      A school superintendent is typically in charge of hundreds of people. If they do a good job, they're helping to educate thousands of kids. On Wall Street there are guys in their early twenties making $500,000, and more, ripping off investors.

      If the public sector should be run like the private sector, why is it necessarily outrageous for a first-rate executive to make more than, I don't know, Nick Gillespie? How about baseball players? They really make a lot of money. Why not get mad at them?

      1. Herpes   15 years ago

        You know, you really are giving the family a bad name, Alan.

      2. The Gobbler   15 years ago

        Shouldn't you be at home working on your next Hardy Boys mystery?

      3. swillfredo pareto   15 years ago

        $343,345 is not too much for a school superintendent.

        According to the Chicago Sun Times he oversaw two schools, so yes, $343,345 is too much. Feel free to do some research on his other noble acts of gaming the system too.

      4. PapayaSF   15 years ago

        If they do a good job, they're helping to educate thousands of kids.

        And if they do a bad job, can they get fired?

        1. Thorisin   15 years ago

          An administrator? Of course they can get fired. As soon as the school board votes them out they are gone. Administrators have no tenure.

          It is incredibly amusing that many people here don't seem to know the difference between an educator and an administrator. Teachers don't even come close to making the money that administrators do.

      5. Invisible Finger   15 years ago

        Public employees should retire after 40 years of service, not 34.

        No one should be allowed to be a public employee for more than 10 years.

  12. Neil C. Codell   15 years ago

    All I want is my fair share.

  13. Death Panelist   15 years ago

    If the market in the Illinois public school system will support these salaries/pensions, then who are we to complain?

    1. Pablo   15 years ago

      The politicians got together with their union buddies, took money from taxpayers, and divided it up. No one asked the taxpayers if they wanted to do this, or if they wanted to look for teachers and administrators who would work for less.

      Thus there was no market.

      1. Dan T.   15 years ago

        I forgot there were no elections in Illinois. Poor taxpayers, they don't get a say in anything. You'd think they'd all leave.

        1. Barfman   15 years ago

          *barf*

        2. Pablo   15 years ago

          Of course there are elections in Illinois. And there is never any vote fraud there! And taxpayers are always told about these deals with unions so they can consider them at election time.

          1. Pablo   15 years ago

            Speaking of Illinois politics, isn't the Blagojevich trial going on now? If haven't heard a word about it from any news source. Are the media just ignoring it?

    2. PapayaSF   15 years ago

      Except "the market" (i.e. the taxpayers) can't support that level of salaries and pensions. That's the problem.

    3. wtfci   15 years ago

      Illinois bond ratings were cut. Then they were cut again.

      The markets are complaining.

  14. Dr. Peter Venkman   15 years ago

    Janine, someone with your qualifications would have no trouble finding a top-flight job in either the food service or housekeeping industries.

    1. Winston Zeddmore   15 years ago

      But did you tell 'em about the Twinkee?

      1. Ragin Cajun   15 years ago

        The Twinkie is posting below, trying to defend Codell.

  15. Dan T.   15 years ago

    So let me get this straight - two parties freely come to a compensation agreement and this is a problem how?

    Because it's more money than you somehow think they deserve?

    1. R C Dean   15 years ago

      So let me get this straight - two parties freely come to a compensation agreement decide to divvy up somebody else's money and this is a problem how?

      1. Dan T.   15 years ago

        Somebody else's money? Whose?

        1. Flyover Country   15 years ago

          The taxpayer's money.

        2. gaijin   15 years ago

          are you serious? where does the money to pay public employees come from?

          1. Dan T.   15 years ago

            The same place that the authority for government officials to hire people comes from.

            When you say it's the "taxpayer's" money, you're just saying it's the government's money. It no longer belongs to any individual.

            1. John   15 years ago

              and you think it is a good use of the "government's money" to pay some guy $800K to do a job that is worth no more than a $100K in the private sector. If this were a defense contractor making that kind of money you would be having a fit. But since it is a democratic voting teacher you are just fine with it. It is okay to steal as long as they agree with you, right Dan?

              1. Dan T.   15 years ago

                It's not stealing. What is being stolen? You're so jealous of this one guy making a lot of money that you can't think straight.

                1. A Child Born in 2085   15 years ago

                  "It's not stealing. What is being stolen?"

                  My future, asscunt.

                2. Old Mexican   15 years ago

                  Re: Dan T.

                  You're so jealous of this one guy making a lot of money that you can't think straight.

                  Oh, and you're not? Read:

                  Dan T: Well, we can't all be saints like the CEOs out there who are making $800k in a month instead of a year.

                  Are you a perfect being, Dan?

                  1. JR   15 years ago

                    No but he is a perfect douche

                    1. Troll Feeder   15 years ago

                      Dude, I wouldn't wash your stanky feet with that, much less anything of mine.

                3. Ray Pew   15 years ago

                  Here is a perfect example of the differences in perception of reality that people have. To people like DanT, taxation is not theft, since he favors this form of "transaction", yet private sector transactions are often theft, since he perceives such transactions to be created through economic coercion (capitalist man has something that non-capitalist man doesn't, but wants).

                  I don't think that anything can bridge this ideological divide.

                  1. Dan T.   15 years ago

                    Taxes are not theft, by definition.

                    "Private" transactions sometimes are, sometimes are not.

                    It is true that capitalism only works when there are people to be exploited, but this is not theft, necessarily.

                    1. wtfci   15 years ago

                      7% raises.

                      Earned?

                      The markets just react to bad deals. It will cost Illinois much more to finance these raises. Those funds will be witheld from taxpayers through increased taxation.

                    2. Invsiibel Finger   15 years ago

                      Taxes are not theft, by definition.

                      Depends on who's doing the defining. If only we could get a disinterested third party to define it for us...

                    3. Ray Pew   15 years ago

                      Taxes are not theft, by definition.

                      Only because of legal mandate, nothing more. Just as slavery wasn't imprisonment and a violation of individual rights, at least while government said it wasn't.

                      It is true that capitalism only works when there are people to be exploited, but this is not theft, necessarily.

                      Another example of contortion of definitions: "exploitation". There is NO system possible that would not allow for this definition of "exploitation". If you have people work for any good or payment, then you are "exploiting" them. Only in a fantasy world where everything can be instantaneously created with no cost would "exploitation" disappear.

            2. Old Mexican   15 years ago

              Re: DanT,

              When you say it's the "taxpayer's" money, you're just saying it's the government's money. It no longer belongs to any individual.

              Of course - just like my money is no longer mine, it's the robber's . . . in DanT's world.

              1. Dan T.   15 years ago

                Old Mexican, if you go to the barber shop and get your hair cut, the money you pay the shop is no longer yours...it is their's. You paid them.

                1. Old Mexican   15 years ago

                  Re: Dan T.

                  Old Mexican, if you go to the barber shop and get your hair cut, the money you pay the shop is no longer yours...it is their's. You paid them.

                  Barners do not point guns at one to get my business, Dan T. Governments do. One steals, the other does not. Which one is which, the barber, or the tax-fed parasite?

                  1. Dan T.   15 years ago

                    LOL. So if you got a haircut and refused to pay, you don't think the barber shop would "point guns" at you to get their money?

                    BTW, I've never had anybody from the state of Illinois try to collect taxes from me. Because I choose to live elsewhere.

                    1. Invisible Finger   15 years ago

                      BTW, I've never had anybody from the state of Illinois try to collect taxes from me. Because I choose to live elsewhere.

                      Well it's obvious Dan T. had public schooling with air-tight logic like that.

                2. Troll Feeder   15 years ago

                  Yep. The nasty ol' barber done exploited that Mexican.

                  Who knew that barbers were racists, too?

                3. Troll Feeder   15 years ago

                  Yep. The nasty ol' barber done exploited that Mexican.

            3. SugarFree   15 years ago

              Don't be his porn.

        3. John   15 years ago

          Dan,

          Poor people are paying property and sales tax so that this guy can make $800 thousand a year. Fuck you. You are a miserable piece of shit hack if you will defend this shit.

          1. Big Chief   15 years ago

            Obviously in Dan T's world we owe the British an apology for whining about that whole "taxation without representation" thing - turns out it was the gubmint's money anyway.

            1. Dan T.   15 years ago

              Taxation without representation is one thing.

              You selfish children whine about taxation with representation.

              1. Big Chief   15 years ago

                But according to you, it's the gubmint's money anyway - why would representation matter? If it belongs to them anyway, we shouldn't have a say.

                Trying to redirect the argument when you've made a fallacious argument isn't going to cut it boy.

                1. Dan T.   15 years ago

                  We pay taxes to the government, and we also choose who we want to disperse those taxes.

                  So in a sense, yes, the money is "ours"...but it is also being spent by "us".

                  1. PapayaSF   15 years ago

                    If you put this guy's salary and pension up for a vote in his school district, what percent of voters do you think would be OK with it? 20%, maybe? Just because elected officials made a decision doesn't mean "we" did.

              2. Barfman   15 years ago

                *barf*

          2. Tim   15 years ago

            I'm looking forward to Obama stepping in and seizing teacher union assets until they clean up all of the ignoramuses they've spilled on America's streets.

            1. The Gobbler   15 years ago

              Nice.

              1. Tim   15 years ago

                Meanwhile, in the Land of the Lotus Eaters:

                "Sam Wormer of Middlebury and a man who identified himself as "Doggy" (right) sit outside Burlington City Hall on Wednesday. "It's not like we have any other place to hang out," Doggy said of the proposed city ordinance that would have made sitting within six feet of downtown buildings a civil offense."

                http://www.burlingtonfreepress.....ewalk-plan

          3. Dan T.   15 years ago

            If the people in Illinois are fine with it, then what do either of us care?

            1. John   15 years ago

              They are not "fine with it" dumb ass. They don't know about it. These deals were done in secret by crooked politicians. If people knew about it, they would be having a fit. By your logic there was no point in complaining about the $100 toilet seats back in the 1980s. It was the government's money and the people re-elected Reagan so they must have been "fine with it".

              Really Dan, you are hitting new levels of stupid here. Is it that hard to condemn someone on your side? Is there any salary a public employee makes that would shock your conscience? Anything a public employee could do that you wouldn't defend?

              1. Pablo   15 years ago

                Interestingly, people do seem to be finding out about shit like this and when they do they get really pissed. There are a few news stories out there to the effect that taxpayers are starting to rebel against the whole public pension issue. My Dad lives in California and he tells me that a few people he knows are catching on to how cops, techers, firefighters, etc have raped the taxpayers on the pension issue, and they are all furious.

              2. Dan T.   15 years ago

                So now your argument is that the people of Illinois are too dumb to run their own state?

                If you had proof of corruption, bribes, etc, then it would be up to the people of Illinois to clean their own house.

                I'm not defending anybody except the people of Illinois to make their own decisions about how they compensate public employees. You're the one who seems convinced that you know better.

                1. R C Dean   15 years ago

                  So now your argument is that the people politicians of Illinois are too dumb crooked to run their own state?

                  Why, yes, yes it is.

                  1. Dan T.   15 years ago

                    Again, I forgot that the people of Illinois don't choose their leaders.

                    Sorry.

                    1. PicassoIII   15 years ago

                      No, not really. Nobody i've voted for has ever landed in office.....

                    2. De Tocqueville   15 years ago

                      Can't say I didn't warn ya'

                2. JEP   15 years ago

                  My God, Dan.

                  You're allowed to disagree with politicians, even the ones you voted, at any time you want - not just when an election is coming up.

                  And sometimes, measures more drastic than voting are needed to purge corruption - things like criminal investigations.

                  My dad was a special agent in the FBI and worked on a case in Chicago were a local mob boss was getting kick backs from parking meter fines because he had city officials on the pay roll. It cost the city millions and millions of dollars.

                  How do you fix that with an election?

                  Also, you're advocating that a democracy should be able to vote itself into a tyranny simply because "that's what the majority of people wanted."

                  1. Troll Feeder   15 years ago

                    Well, at least they aren't being exploited by the Man.

                3. Invisible Finger   15 years ago

                  So now your argument is that the people of Illinois are too dumb to run their own state?

                  If they're too stupid to enter into private transactions without someone else looking out for their best interests, then by logical extension they are too stupid to know how to vote in their own best interests.

            2. Barfman   15 years ago

              *Baarrrrrrrfff*

    2. swillfredo pareto   15 years ago

      two parties freely come to a compensation agreement

      By not even the lamest stretch of the imagination can the collective bargaining agreements between the various teachers' unions and school districts be considered freely arrived at. You are embarrassing yourself.

      1. Troll Feeder   15 years ago

        Well, at least they aren't being exploited by the Man.

        Oh, crap... have I already used that one?

  16. Mayor   15 years ago

    [to Venkman] Is this true?
    Dr. Peter Venkman: Yes sir, it's true. This man has no dick.

  17. John   15 years ago

    There is a $150,000 limit on federal salaries in the GS system. General freaking Petreus is only making that. Yet, some clown administrator of some Shermer High School in Illinois is making $885K. Even in the private sector you would have to be a senior VP of a major corporation to make that kind of money. These people are literally looting the country. Shame on every liberal who defends them.

    1. Virginia   15 years ago

      I expect that GS ceiling to be lifted in the near future. You know, because of merit.

      1. John   15 years ago

        Let's hope not. The other little rip off that never gets reported is the double retirement. It used to be if you were getting a government retirement, you couldn't work a full pay GS job. Your pay was limited. But after 9-11, they declared an emergency and did away with that limit. Now tons of military retirees are retiring one day and going back to work the next as a GS employee doing the same job in the same office and getting retirement and full GS pay.

        1. Dan T.   15 years ago

          How is that a ripoff? They have earned their retirements and if they go back to work, then they are earning a paycheck as well. Retirement money is just deferred compensation.

          Damn, John, do you ever use your noggin?

          1. John   15 years ago

            It is a total rip off. We pay them to work. When they retire, we are paying them for that work they did. They shouldn't be able to double dip by doing the same job for 30 years, get the retirement, and then continue to do the job at full pay. You get retirement because you no longer work for the company, not as a bonus at 20 years service.

            1. Dan T.   15 years ago

              So if we're paying them for the work that they did, what's the problem with paying them also for the work they're currently doing?

              I mean, if somebody retires from a position they probably have to hire somebody else to replace them, and that person will get paid as well.

              1. Barfman   15 years ago

                *barf*

              2. wtfci   15 years ago

                Can I count on your support for clawing back on this pay?

                If the voters go for it. You're on board right?

              3. PapayaSF   15 years ago

                Except you could probably fire every school administrator in the state, cut the salaries in half and the pensions by 3/4, and still get 50 applicants for every position. And the schools would not be any worse.

          2. SugarFree   15 years ago

            Don't be his porn, John. He just wants to use you, abuse you, and then wipe on his chest with a tube sock. Don't be his porn.

            1. John   15 years ago

              You are correct.

          3. Barfman   15 years ago

            *barf*

            1. Troll Feeder   15 years ago

              Do you have a newsletter?

              1. Troll Feeder   15 years ago

                I'd like to be exploited by your newsletter. Yes, I would.

          4. Invisible Finger   15 years ago

            Retirement money is just deferred compensation.

            Once again, Dan T. making up new definitions to suit his ideology.

      2. Tim   15 years ago

        I suspect members of congress are already exempt.

        1. Congress   15 years ago

          You bet your sweet bippy we are! Looting Legislating is hard work, and we deserve just compensation!

        2. John   15 years ago

          Of course.

    2. NoVAHockey   15 years ago

      It's even higher for the senior executive service

    3. Tim   15 years ago

      The president of the fvcking US only makes about half that.

      1. Dan T.   15 years ago

        The president gets a lot of perks, however. Free use of a big house, an airplane, and the world's top bodyguards probably should count in there.

        1. Kenneth Feinberg   15 years ago

          You're right, I need to cut his salary. Thanks Dan T., I neglected to factor that in!

      2. Chinny Chin Chin   15 years ago

        Yeah, but Obama makes a killing on all his endorsement deals.

        1. wylie   15 years ago

          From Kool.

          1. JR   15 years ago

            Careful there

            1. Troll Feeder   15 years ago

              Who been puttin' they Kools out on my floor?!

  18. Warty   15 years ago

    You people who respond to Dan T as if he were arguing in good faith are just causing yourselves unnecessary rage. Here, let me help you relax with some wonderful prose.

    "Mommy, where to kitties go when they die? To Heaven?" asked six-year-old Janet Yelton.

    Terri Yelton took a slow drag from her cigarette and exhaled. "Doubt it. They just die and they're gone. Now shut up." She was trying to watch her soap operas.

    Janet ignored her. "I bet they go to Heaven, at least the nice ones."

    Terri flicked her cigarette ash in her daughter's direction. "I said shut up, smart-ass. Why aren't you outside?"

    1. John   15 years ago

      Kittens do go to heaven Warty. Animals are just in the same state as man was before his fall and knowledge of good and evil. As Milan Kundara says "dogs are our links to paradises". Same goes for kittens.

      1. Warty   15 years ago

        You know where I get this garbage, right John? Look at the author information.

        1. Syrup of Ipecac   15 years ago

          So Dan T. can be arrested for dispensing medication without a license?

        2. The Gobbler   15 years ago

          I live it!

          Moments later, Janet returned to the living room, this time holding the limp, lifeless body of Precious, Hallie's pet cat. Its gray fur was matted and had fallen out in patches, and its open eyes, normally yellow, were the color of blood. It appeared to have been dead for several days, even though Terri had shooed it off the couch less than an hour ago.

          "Jesus Christ!" Terri exclaimed, jumping to her feet. "What the hell happened to Precious?"

          "Precious is in Heaven," the little girl explained as she continued to walk towards her mother with the feline corpse held out in front of her. "She was one of the nice ones, but she got the Pox. The Pox, the Pox, the Pox?"

          "Get that thing away from me!" Terri screamed, backing away towards the front door, her face contorted with fear.

          "Mommy, don't you want to eat Precious? That's the only way to get immunity from the Pox. I can eat half of her, and you can eat half, and then we won't get the Pox." Janet opened her mouth and clamped her teeth around one of the cat's hind legs, struggling to tear off a piece of its flesh.

    2. Horde_4_Lyfe   15 years ago

      +1

  19. Dan T.   15 years ago

    Warty is persistant if nothing else.

    I find his obsession with me a little strange, though.

    1. Tim   15 years ago

      "You don't come here for the hunting, do you?"

    2. Warty   15 years ago

      "Negative, captain! The third ulogginaucht basin has snapped and I can't grott the poletination spheres without some sort of virrulaumo retractor!" Faavrogg was in a near panic, a large chunk of sharp yuloplasm embedded in his lower tranjular region.

      1. Tim   15 years ago

        I like the cut of your Jib.

      2. Slut Bunwalla   15 years ago

        I banged my lower tranjular region on a table the other night. Hurt like a bitch.

    3. SugarFree   15 years ago

      Go jack off somewhere else, shitbrains.

    4. Warty   15 years ago

      Also, you misspelled "persistent". Idiot.

    5. Troll Feeder   15 years ago

      Is he exploiting you? Perhaps there's a czar for that.

  20. Pot   15 years ago

    Hello Kettle! Your right, black is a remarkably slimming neutral!

  21. P Brooks   15 years ago

    Get your head out of your ass, Dan.

    1. SugarFree   15 years ago

      He won't do that. It smells like his mom in there.

      1. Dan T.'s Mom   15 years ago

        I made it out of there in the nick of time! Sit, I have stories..

  22. Dr. McCoy   15 years ago

    "You green blooded son of a bitch!"

    1. Spoonman.   15 years ago

      Pointy-eared inconsiderate brute!

  23. Dan T.   15 years ago

    You know, if the Libertarian agenda is ever going to make any headway whatsoever you folks have gotta learn not to get so bent out of shape just because somebody disagrees with your political opinions.

    1. SugarFree   15 years ago

      Don't be his porn. He just wants to cum on your face.

      1. Tim   15 years ago

        When "Reason-the musical" hits broadway, "Don't Be His Porn" will be your big show stopping number Shug.

        1. wylie   15 years ago

          "...Raped-in-the-face!"

          *lights fade*

  24. Dan T.   15 years ago

    SugarFree, nobody is listening to you.

    They must like be used and abused a little.

    1. Troll Feeder   15 years ago

      Everyone likes a little exploitation.

  25. Tim   15 years ago

    Meh. All the action's on the Olbermann thread now...

  26. joshua corning   15 years ago

    $8.879,257.90

    Is that even a number?

    why is there a dot between the two eights?

    1. SugarFree   15 years ago

      New math.

    2. wtfci   15 years ago

      Internet punctuation. It's exempt from all those old rules.

  27. Rhywun   15 years ago

    "So now your argument is that the people of Illinois are too dumb to run their own state?"

    His eyes uncovered!

  28. writenow   15 years ago

    School administrator ? educator

    In fact, administrators are one of the biggest obstacles between teachers and the educating kids. Not just because of the obvious reason: the wages & budget that admins consume, but also because administrator's basic job is to enforce political decisions and inject them in to the curriculum.

    1. wtfci   15 years ago

      Do you part. Dissolve your local PTA or PTO. It's a tool created by unions with the full support of your local district administration.

  29. Mr. Soul   15 years ago

    I stopped by to pick up a reason.

  30. Invisible Finger   15 years ago

    If these people can't do something as simple as spend no more than what they earn. why are they allowed anywhere near children?

  31. R C Dean   15 years ago

    "So now your argument is that the people of Illinois are too dumb to run their own state?"

    Actually, my argument is that society is too big and too complicated to be "run" by anybody.

    A State that is restricted to its legitimate functions, though, could be run tolerably well.

  32. TD   15 years ago

    Comment to Dan T:

    Your comments are valid except for one problem: as 99.999% of the actuarial world knows, expected mortality wreaks havoc on defined benefit pension plans-- they are a concept that has been completely invalidated by real life experience. Do any of these plans meet their investment and mortality targets? No...which is why the private sector no longer offers them. The plans are a fiction, the obligations can't be paid and defending them is just an exercise in futility as anyone but the public sector and the collectively bargained sectors know. It is time to move on. True, the top employees of private companies get paid extremely well... until the company goes bk.

  33. James   15 years ago

    I don't mind the vitriol, but Neil C. Codell doesn't make $885,327, that's a projection if he continued to get 7% annual raises for the next 14 years.

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