Congress

The Latest in Pants-Wetting Anti-Terrorism Legislation

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In a display of unified, bipartisan dimwittery, Sens. Chuck Schumer (D-NY) and John Cornyn (R-Texas) are joining together to ban prepaid cell phones. Because an inept terrorist once used one in a failed plot.

If only we could get a terrorist to use a reactionary, grandstanding politician in some future plot. Maybe the government would finally ban those, too. Or at least no longer allow them on airplanes.

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  1. bipartisan dimwittery

    But you repeat yourself.

  2. Did the terrorist wear shoes?

    Maybe we should ban shoes as well.

    1. Didn’t his Honda have an Obama sticker on it? The list has something for everybody.

    2. I heard he was wearing a shirt, we need to ban shirts.

      1. This blog ain’t big enough for both of us. Or maybe it is. Whatever.

    3. With a bomb in it too. Banning shoes would sure save time at the airport.

    4. Did the terrorist wear shoes?

      Maybe we should ban shoes as well.

      You’re right! Not only that, but one terrorist put a bomb in his shoe! If we can’t have an outright ban, we at least need a shoe registry.

      1. Note to self: read all comments prior to commenting.

  3. Stupid is a stupid does

    1. We are talking about people who make laws.

      Stupid is as stupid does to you.

  4. The obvious thing to do is to set up a new government agency that will be responsible getting citizens from one place to another. The safest way to do it would be to use tranquilizers on all passengers, strip then naked, and put them, unconscious, into storage bins for transport by bus or plane.

    1. I’d pay extra for that service if it weren’t provided by the government.

    2. The Department of A-Team, clearly.

  5. Sens. Chuck Schumer (D-NY)

    Just like rust, stupid never sleeps.

    1. That’s because he’s powered by the energy reserves of pure evil in his enormous moobs.

      1. If he was really that evil I might respect him He’s not evil. He freakin’ clueless. Just like his California partner in crime Feinstein. I hear them open their mouths and it makes my head want to explode.

  6. If even one life can be saved, then this law will be worth it.

    BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaahahahahahahahaha! Aw, sometimes I crack myself up…

  7. If only we could get a terrorist to use a reactionary, grandstanding politician in some future plot.

    As opposed to reactionary, grandstanding politicians who use the actions of terrorists for their plots, which seems to happen all the time.

  8. Now maybe they’ll finally outlaw used Nissan Pathfinders!

  9. Did KSM have moobs? I think it is time to ban moobs.

    1. Seconded.

  10. FWIW, Mr. Welch covered this earlier in the week.

  11. I heard about this and thought it was a joke.

  12. I hate Chuck so very much.

    1. Chuck Schumer is about as appealing as a used colostomy bag. In fact, he is quite similar, except for the bag.

  13. We may not be safer from terror, but Verizon will be safer from competition.

    1. Verizon sell prepaid phones.

        1. The point stands, they have reduced competition from themselves as you will now be paying $30 a month for a sign up plan instead of the other $20 for 3 months plan. It’s all in the name of stimulating the economy.

    2. We’re not safer from our leaders.

  14. If they pass enough laws we’ll all be criminals.
    Chuckie (Pick’s His Nose on Camera) would like nothing less.
    A pox upon all of them.

    1. You are already a criminal. No one can survive an indepth examination of their lives.

  15. In a display of unified, bipartisan dimwittery, Sens. Chuck Schumer (D-NY) and John Cornyn (R-Texas) are joining together to ban prepaid cell phones. Because an inept terrorist once used one in a failed plot.

    I have heard from reliable sources he also used a cheap wristwatch to make sure he got to the plane on time. Is that next Chuckie and Johnny?

    1. Maybe Chuck Schumer should get him a little man with a broom, too!

  16. I think this law fits in the “not even wrong” category for retardation.

  17. Radley, please. Haven’t you seen The Wire?

    Iron-clad respect for civil liberties is frustrating the heroic efforts of law enforcement.

    I have long suspected, Balko, that you are a drug-running, skyscraper-exploding, tender-young-boy-molesting terrorist yourself. There, I said it.

    1. Of course you would think that way, the rapist.

  18. I’ll give up my anonymous prepaid terrorphone when they pry it from my cold, dead fingers.

    1. Yes, you will….mwaaaaahahahahahaha!

  19. Off topic: everything you wanted to know about Helen Thomas but were afraid to ask…

    http://www.viceland.com/int/v1…..as-517.php

  20. And for those who still think there’s a real difference between Demoncraps and Republicums….. Read the article!

    Chuckie Scummer from NY takes the attitude “I WANT TO RULE YOUR LIFE, INSIGNIFICANT LIFE FORM WHO PROVIDES ME WITH CASH!!!”

    Trackfones today, what tomorrow? Your immortal soul?

  21. One shudders to contemplate what the next Congress will do to match or exceed the anti-civil liberties record of this one.

    Every. Incumbent. Out.

    Come on, NY. You can do it!

    1. Yeah! Replace them with dumber incumbents!

      1. You know where to find dumber ones?

        Really?!?

        1. Dumber or smarter, but replacements are essential.

  22. Wasn’t there discussion in another thread about the Healthcare thingamajigger along the lines of a slippery slope, where if Congress can abuse the hell out of the Commerce Clause, it won’t stop?

    Well, if not, it won’t stop.

    Punks. Pity you can’t sue Schumer for being fucking stupid.

    1. Punks. Pity you can’t sue Schumer for being fucking stupid.

      You can, but the lawsuit would be thrown out as frivolous.

      There’s a joke in there somewhere, but damn if I can make it work.

  23. What more can be said about the people Americans keep sending into office?

  24. This man thinks he’s smarter than you.

  25. Cornyn’s usually not a complete imbecile, but he’ll be getting a nastygram from me over this.

  26. Loooooooved his vote for the bailout!!

  27. If only we could get a terrorist to use a reactionary, grandstanding politician in some future plot.

    I would think that it would be obvious by now that using our reactionary grandstanding politicians against us, is the current terrorist plot.

    1. I would think that it would be obvious by now that using our reactionary grandstanding politicians against us, is the current terrorist plot.

      Nice short and well put.

  28. We should take a moment to recognize the real reason prepaid phones are being banned–because they allow anonymous communication. US government wants to be able to track anyone at any time, and our cell phones will be our dog collars.

    Fuck ’em.

  29. The bill isn’t to ban prepaid phones. It’s to require ID when you buy them, and for the company that sells them to keep track of the ID. It’s more “surveillance state” than “ban products we think are unsafe.”

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