And Who, After Reading Martin Luther King's "Letter From a Birmingham Jail", Could Possibly Object to a Tax on Sugary Soft Drinks?

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Today's quote of the day comes from the disgraced former tyrannical prosecutor Eliot Spitzer:

After reading the Gettysburg Address, does the idea of a carbon tax to finally move us away from an oil and old-energy dependence that is fouling not only the Gulf of Mexico but our entire climate, foreign policy, and economy seem so outrageous?

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  1. Can we try to plug that leak with former federal prosecutors?

    Please?

    It could work.

    1. We won’t know until we try. Jamming Spitzer* and Mary Beth Buchanan down that hole certainly couldn’t hurt.

      * IIANM Spitzer was a NY state, not federal prosecutor.

      1. He plugged my hole, but good! Look at me now! That genius 21-year old professor has the right idea with the expanding tire shaft! The poor thing is homely though, not sexy and desirable like me! Who said you need brains to get “a head”?

      2. Can we expand the field to other LE types? Because I really think this is Sheriff Joe’s destiny.

    2. Can we try to plug that leak with former federal prosecutors?

      Junk shot or jerk shot?

  2. I did my sacrifice for the day…I actually read that putrid article.

    1. The comments made me throw up a little in my mouth. Someone actually called Spitzer’s opinions insightful and valuable and another defended his governing abilities and wanted him back.

      1. Hey, he’s a fucking steamroller! Spitzer for Senate!

        1. And he appears regularly on MSNBC. What’s not to love?

          1. Can you substantiate that claim?

      2. Well…he was doing better than that idiot Paterson.

  3. Those altered Garfield strips where his eyes are fucked up speak deeply to the righteousness of ethanol subsidies.

  4. does the idea of a…tax…seem so outrageous?

    Yes. Yes, it is.

  5. After reading the Gettysburg Address, does the idea of a carbon tax to finally move us away from an oil and old-energy dependence that is fouling not only the Gulf of Mexico but our entire climate, foreign policy, and economy seem so outrageous?

    No but it does make me want to have a tire fire.

  6. Don’t do that! I need those!

  7. Fortunately, the political class apparently has no plans to tax red herrings.

  8. After reading The Federalist Papers, who can possibly object to holier-than-thou politicians having bareback sex with prostitutes?

  9. As long as they are French, I have no objection.

  10. I wonder if he will view himself exempt from carbon taxation, much the way he did from soliciting a prostitute?

    It’s hard out here for a Prole.

  11. Hey, Eliot! So, what have you sacrificed lately? Not pouring chocolate sauce and whipped cream on your high-end hookers anymore?

    I know how this will work, you assclown. We plebians make the sacrifices, and you collect them. Sorry, bud, you’re shit outta luck, I’m not buying it.

  12. He’s not entirely wrong, you know. I recently read the Magna Carta, translated of course, and wept for joy at the return of the estate tax.

  13. It’s so tiresome to constantly hear people say “hey, wouldn’t it be great if we didn’t need to use oil for gas and electricity anymore? Let’s tax oil and gas so that we will stop using it and the magical energy unicorn will come in and replace oil with wind/solar/geothermal/biodiesel/unicorn farts to replace it with!”

    Sure, I’d love it if all cars ran on solar panels, but they don’t. And the idea that we should TAX this change in to existence is irrefutably idiotic, not to mention unfeasible.

    1. But Tman, it worked with cigarettes and booze! We taxed the crap out of them, and look, no one’s using them anymore!

      Oh.

  14. I don’t think Eliot understands the meaning of ‘positive sum game.’

  15. Am I alone in not being ga-ga in love with Lincoln and his Address?

    I thought the Southern states seceded legally. If the Great Lincoln really believed in preserving the Union, he would have let the states who wanted to stay, stay – and make them an economic force to contend with, not go against the wishes of supposedly sovereign entities to remove themselves from a union with which they felt no political kinship.

    Please, don’t flame too hard if I’m wrong, history is not my forte, and I know I need to read more in that area (find me the time!).

    1. I believe the argument Lincoln made was that the Articles of Confederation were explicitly a perpetual union, and that since the Constitution was intended to form “a more perfect union”, that the perpetuity is implicit in the Constitution. I believe the Supreme Court agreed with this interpretation in Texas v. White

      1. Thank you. I just read a summary of the Articles. There seemed to be some contention even in their time as to whether secession was an option.

        Capricious secession I could see as a problem. I suppose the southern states gambled on their own revolution and lost. I wonder what level of oppression is necessary in order for “secession, like any other revolutionary act, [to be] be morally justified,” as Andrew Jackson put it.

        For instance, how high do taxes have to go before we say Enough! How many bailouts of California and private industries will we suffer? If our election process does not allow us to peaceably settle our issues, when do we wage war to clear the field and start over?

      2. Or, could it be that what made it “a more perfect union” was the very removal of the clause about perpetual union? 😀

  16. If Chewbacca is a Wookiee, you must support a carbon tax!

  17. Wha? I had to go read the entire article, well, skim it, before commenting.

    Well, if he feels so strongly that “slightly higher marginal tax rates for the top 5 percent” will help, he is welcome to donate part of his salary to the government. In fact, I invite all Progressives who think people are not paying enough in taxes to donate their “excessive” money from their earning to the government who will -obviously- spend it more wisely than they.

  18. I think he puts “Eliot Spitzer” in everywhere Lincoln said people. e.g “…government of ES, by ES, for ES, shall not perish from this Earth.”

    It’s the only way to reconcile his stupidity with the actual text.

  19. “After reading the Gettysburg Address, don’t the bleating self-important concerns of investment bankers whose multimillion-dollar bonuses might be jeopardized by a somewhat more rigorous regulatory structure seem downright offensive?”

    Having to listen to the bleating self-important concerns of this disgraced scumbag seems downright offensive!

  20. “American non-sequitur society: we may not make sense, but we do like pizza!”

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