Conspiracy Theories

Obama Theory of the Month


Is Barack Obama a secret Muslim? communist? immigrant? extra in the video for "Whoomp (There It Is)"? Gawker weighs the evidence.

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  1. …this thread is racist.

    There, got that out of the way so liberals can bitch about something else for a change.

  2. And now that he’s POTUS, we’re all saying “Whoomp there it isn’t.”

  3. Wow, the Gawker dorks really have a hard-on for Obama, don’t they. He’s our coolest President!

    1. It’s his totally cool nasally voice, dude. All the cool kids have that.

      1. He’s cool because he smokes, you idiot. Haven’t those “truth” ads taught you anything?

        1. Our national stepdad sets a terrible example for us.

          1. “You’re not my real dad!”

            1. How do you know? Unless you’re stating yo mama boned so many dudes, it’s statistically unlikely Obama was (one of) the one(s) doing her on the night you were conceived. 😉

    2. That’s pretty typical of the alt-media. Sure he’s got an execrable record on civil liberties, foreign policy, and the economy, but I bet he drinks, like, PBR at state dinners and listens to Animal Collecive in the presidential limo.

    3. According to that New Yorker slideshow the other day, Gawker posters are under constant threat of having posting privileges taken away by the powers that be. So it’s no surprise that they tow the party lion for all intensive porpoises.

      1. RAWR

      2. KYAAAAH click click click click

  4. Let me guess. Reason won’t send a reporter to the Bilderberg meeting this year? You guys suck…

    1. Your tinfoil is showing.

  5. Obama: What I was suggesting?you, you’re absolutely right that John McCain has not, uh, talked about my appearance in “Whoomp! (There It Is),” and you’re absolutely right?that is?

    Stephanopoulos: “Donkey Butt.”

    Obama: Yeah?my?I was in “Donkey Butt”…and?what?what I’m saying is he hasn’t suggested that I’m?that I’m?that I’m?uh?a?the B O double T Y.

  6. Haha, that’s funny.

  7. I can’t tell if that’s him; all politicians look the same to me.

    1. I love you.

    2. Hahaha! Ew, I feel dirty now.

  8. [Girls run up to stand behind the informal line guarded by Secret Service agents as Obama warms up his golf swing]

    Girl: Mr. President! Mr. President! You are like the best President ever.

    Obama: How old are you?

    Girl: Eight.

    Obama: You haven’t known many presidents I see.*

    [Obama throws the girl a ball with a presidential seal on it]

    *This actually happened. Whatever else you can say about him, at least he knows he sucks.

    1. [Obama throws the girl a ball with a presidential seal on it]

      The first of many horrible throws Obama would make during his single term as POTUS.

  9. Very unlikely it was him: the record made money.

  10. At least Barack Obama is for legalized whaling

    1. “That moratorium on commercial whaling was the greatest conservation victory of the 20th century. And in 2010 to be waving the white flag or bowing to the stubbornness of the last three countries engaged in the practice is a mind-numbingly dumb idea,” Patrick Ramage, the whaling director at the International Fund for Animal Welfare, told

      Obama bowed to stubborn nations!? In related news, the sun rose this morning.

  11. I have my own Obama conspiracy theory too…O=W=OW

    Evidence and exposition starts here


    1. That is about the most rediculous thing Ive ever heard!

      Does Obama even speak American?????

      This is America. Everyone here should be required to speak American. So pass a law that requires all business to be conducted in American (like contracts, legal stuff, advertisements, signs for your company, everything!). Also, anyone who crosses the border must prove that they speak American. If not then you dont get in. If we find someone who doesnt speak ARE language, then they get deported immediately. I think this is legal because we wont be “profiling” anyone based on their color. Well just be looking for people who don not speak the language.

      1. UGGHH who let the teabaggers in?!?!?!

        From Irregular times?

        Soliciting Obama Haiku

        How would you sum up President Barack Obama’s first 500 days in haiku form?

        Horatio says:

        He is more like Bush
        than I had thought possible.
        Please, what was the point?

        Tom says:

        Hope and change
        but not for anything progressive.
        What’s the difference?

        An attractive plant
        rising through the concrete.
        Just another weed.

        Green Man says:

        Dreams of my father
        were for more offshore drilling?
        No, I don’t think so.

  12. I hope all you idiots had a nice National Day of Slayer. Enjoy, fuckfaces.

    1. What did the members of Slayer do on the National Day of Slayer?

      They went to church.

  13. Well that’s refreshing.…..06-05.html

    Twice during his speech, Williams stopped because of the pain, wiped tears from his eyes and apologized to the audience because he hadn’t smoked any medicine before arriving. “My feet are on fire,” he said.

    Eventually, Cumberland County Sheriff Mark Dion spoke up from audience. “Montel, why don’t you just take your medicine?”

  14. Off-topic, but that fuck Peter Singer just wrote a fucking ridiculous article for the NYTimes called ‘Should this Be the Last Generation’ and the comments section is just painful to read.


    1. I was just about to snark that “Peter Singer wrote a ridiculous article” was redundant, but then I realized “ridiculous article for the NY Times” is also redundant. Trying to resolve the collision of redundancy forced a warm boot, so I’ll let you win this time, human.

    2. Ugh. Even as a homosexual, child-loathing misanthrope I am repulsed by that man’s throw-shit-at-the-wall-and-see-what-sticks ravings.

    3. There is nothing more useless than the self proclaimed bio-ethicists.

  15. Nice to see the gays over at Gawker have a post-Gossip Girl and Glee summer planned for themselves. Maybe they should stick to rating Chuck Bass’ ascots and Kurt’s solos.

  16. When I was a kid, I always thought it was “Woo! Fat Ass!” (not as ridiculous as it sounds given the ghetto pronunciation the singer was using).


  17. Now, if da Prez could just show up at a Slim Thug show that would be something. Bestin’ da Bushes on they own turf.

  18. Ha. Thats pretty damn funny. I love how Libs pull the race card any chance they get, meanwhile, the Democrats have had more problems with racial slurs than Republicans for as long as I can remember.

  19. This is simply a media plant to distract us from the much more secret yet valid fact of Obama’s key participation in the far more interesting and artistically relevant “*Whoot* – There It Is” by 95 South, which everyone knows is the real sh*t, and that the whole “Whoomp” thing was simply a watered down version that excluded the seminal and controversial political question of the decade: “Where That Booty At??”…..p;index=45

    I doubt the MSM will ever catch onto this however.

    I think it will be many decades before people truly realize the role that Luther Campbell (AKA Luke Skywalker) played as a political kingmaker at the end of the 20th century

  20. Why did Jesse cross out communist?

  21. Whoomp! There Shit Is!

    The burning question, however, is: is it worse than Jump?

  22. If asked if he was in the video, BHO would probably say, No, but I wish I had been.

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