Who Will Count the Counters?


According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, employment grew by 431,000 jobs in May. This morning President Obama said "these numbers…mean…we're moving in the right direction," because "the economic policies that we've put in place are working." Since 95 percent of the net gain in jobs is due to temporary Census Bureau positions, the point is debatable. But it does jibe with the logic of the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act, which counts every 520 hours of goverment-compensated work in a quarter as a job created saved funded. Think how much healthier the economy would be if we had a census every year. For that matter, why not every month?

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  1. Or we could do the census old school and stimulate the travel and hotel industries. And possible help some family farms as well.

  2. And if people don’t answer when they knock, they should break windows to get in. Think of the business for the glaziers!

    1. I returned my census with only the “number of people in household” portion filled out. Some dink came by at least three times and left a note on my door (how the fuck did he get in my building?), but I’m never home, so I wasn’t there. I kind of wanted to be, though, so I could tell him in no uncertain terms to fuck off. Maybe throw in a rant about him wasting my (the taxpayer’s) money when I had filled out the required portion.

      1. I shredded my census form and am awaiting prosecution. When the ass-clown came to my door I told him the same thing: I will give you my name and how many people live here and that’s it. I said I didn’t know for sure what my race was.

        He wasn’t happy but I was.

        1. We’re really looking only for any 3 answers out of the 1st 7 Qs for each person.

      2. I’m so happy the gummint mailed another complete census form to my apt (where I stay during the week for work) – evidently they missed the first one I returned that said “zero people live here” (based on their definitions, I live at my home, not the apt). I threw the second one away, since I’d already responded.

        I was hoping someone would stop by, so I could tell them to fuck off…but either I missed them or they never stopped by.

        1. Yeah, they mailed me a second one as well. Such excellent use of resources!

          1. And what would we do without the commercials that explain how, without the census, we wouldn’t know how many schools to build or when to change our underwear.

      3. I guess I own the record for SIX visits within a one month period. I got caught by one when I was outside BS’ing with a neighbor. He parked across the street and I didn’t realize he was a census worker until he pulled his census man bag. I gave him the number of people in the home and told him that I couldn’t give him any more info. When he started into his ‘I need a little more than that’ and ‘we all have a job to do’ spiel, I politely told him that I had given him all of the info I had intended to and he was free to leave.

        I wasn’t rude to him and don’t suggest anyone else be rude to them either, unless you want a no-knock raid for assaulting a gov’t employee.

        1. No, you don’t own that record. The enumerator’s questionnaire has space to record 6 visits, and I’ve seen many of them filled — but some census takers have been erasing the first and starting over!

          As to shredding, what do you think the Census Bureau does to them when we’re done with them?

      4. I haven’t had that response yet Epi, but I’m 6’5″ and 230 lbs, so that might have an effect. I’m in Seattle too, so if you give me your address, I’d be happy to stop by and let you try it out. 😉

        Incidentally, I’d greatly prefer the in-person “fuck off” response than the passive-aggressive douchebaggery of “here’s my work number, you can call me there and do it over the phone,” and then never pick up your phone or return calls. Now THAT’S a waste of resources.

        I tell people that I understand if there’s a question they don’t want to answer, and will leave it blank. And, we’re not allowed to report anything illegal/unusual that we come across. I personally wouldn’t, but I suppose some people might.

        1. I’m 6’1″ and 305lbs. I win.

    2. Not to mention work for the police. They’re bound to find illegal stuff in at least some of the houses!

      1. …and we’ll be there to shoot the dogs and endanger children when they do.

        Thanks, Citizen!

        1. and find that parents are endangering their children when they do


    3. I bet I’m the only one old enough to know what that means
      “Dude – why would a guy who puts sugar on donuts break into my pad”
      “I dunno – help the economy or somethin”

      1. I laughed, but still, maybe look into some Alzheimers medication.

    4. Funny you should say that!…..r-absence/

    5. And shoot the dogs. Full employment for vets and kennel operators!

  3. The thing is that I’m sure it wouldn’t take too many minutes of searching the web to find someone that genuinely believes we should conduct the census more often specifically because it provides jobs.

    1. A gentle suggestion – let’s not encourage them

      1. Can we add a rule to the drinking game for when people need to “STOP GIVING THEM IDEAS”?

  4. True. Have we counted everyone in Greece yet?

  5. By “we’re moving in the right direction, the president means that he intends to put every single American on the federal payroll.

    1. We ARE better than France, so we kinda have to achieve 100% State Employment.

      60%? Suck it Frogs!

  6. I put down “Na’vi” for my race this year. Next year will simply be “human” if nothing topicly humorous comes up.

    1. Cameron will have you covered, don’t worry.

      Or just go back in time, and use “Xenomorph”. That might get you deported off-planet though, so YMMV.

      1. How about “Animorph”?

        1. Thanks SB, now I’m going to put “Animaniac” on the next census.

  7. Of the 431,000 “new” jobs, 411,000 were temporary Census Bureau jobs. Take of the rest of the government jobs, and we might even be looking at

    1. That was weird. The rest of my comment should read:

      < 10,000 real jobs added.

      1. Darned HTML standard…making the “less-than sign” mean something other than less-than.

        1. & lt ;

          remove the spaces

        2. I don’t suppose there’s a suitable escape character that can be parsed, like so: \

        3. (for anyone besides SteveNash, who obviously figured it out.)

  8. This morning President Obama said “these numbers…mean…we’re moving in the right direction,” because “the economic policies that we’ve put in place are working.” Since 95 percent of the net gain in jobs is due to temporary Census Bureau positions, the point is debatable.

    Debatable my Aunt Fanny’s corset. The President is a damned liar.

    1. Welcome back to the world, Rumpelstiltskin.

  9. Speaking of shameless imbecility…

    This morning President Obama said “these numbers…mean…we’re moving in the right direction,” because “the economic policies that we’ve put in place are working.”

  10. I am, for purposes of the Census, racially “Troglodyte”. Because it sounds totally cool.

  11. the 431k number is 100% fiction.

    check table a-8 of the report

    it says there 122,538 jobs in April 2010

    122,458 jobs in May…that is a change of -80,000 jobs.

    We know 411,000 census worker jobs were added in May…that means the real number of jobs added in May 2010 was -491,000. Seasonal adjustments bitches!

    the absurd part is they claim the “workforce” declined by 373,000 people in May…complete and utter bullshit.

    Just got back fromt he gym where they had CNN on in the locker room and the guy was screaming…”WE HAVE FOUR HUNDRED THIRTY ONE THOUUUUUSAND NEW JOBS THIS MONTH!” this is after doing a ten minute infomercial on how bad ass our military is at handling problems in the GOM and how amazingly tight BP and the government are on “SAFETY” in the GOM.

    this clip onthe IMF is funny:

  12. I had a census worker at my door yesterday. He couldn’t define the word census.

  13. How fucking stupid does Washington think the American people are? That they’ll ignore all the people they know who are un- or underemployed just because a government agency puts out some bullshit numbers?

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