Get Your Gold To Go: Gold Vending Machine in Abu Dhabi


bling! bling!

Being a goldbug has never been easier—or more fun! A new vending machine in Abu Dhabi sells gold to all comers:

GOLD To Go is a German invention that monitors the price of gold and dispenses bars and customizable coins. This is its international debut.

Follow the gold_atm on Twitter to learn when a gold vending machine is coming to a luxury hotel near you.

Gold hit $1,245 an ounce yesterday, so purchases from the vending machine won't be cheap. But in the meantime, you can start thinking about what design you want to put on your coins for when world currency markets collapse.

Via Gawker.

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  1. Hey, I forwarded this to Jesse yesterday! Dangit.

    1. Time for the Jihad, Pro’L Dib? How dare they overlook the Kwittheshitz Hadenough!!!!!

      1. I forgot about that. I am the One Who Can be Offended in Many Ways at Once.

        Kwittheshitz Hadenough would make a great new name for the LP.

  2. For the record, I think we should all pitch in and buy one of these for Mr. Dean.

    1. He probably already is having one installed in Central America.

  3. Gold is a gateway element. And they’re selling it in vending machines.

    Yeah, it starts with the gold, but pretty soon they’re on to the platinum, which leads inevitably to the uranian…which will kill you.

    Nice going, Abu Dhabi

    1. Are you discriminating against the higher elements?

      1. As long as they don’t start selling plutonium which, as we all know from seeing The China Syndrome, is the most toxic substance known to man!

          1. Radon Test Kit: $24.99.

          2. You’re just a gas, radon. Colorless and odorless. Totally without character. Begone!

        1. Screw the elements. I’m long on neutrinos.

          1. Sucker!

            1. Quarks are too binding for my tastes.

            2. Whatevs, I started this shit mu-fuckers.

              1. Ha! You’re a derivative at best.

            3. I’ll have a Raktajino.

      2. They can be unstable and dense.

        1. That got lost in the threaded mess. Were you referring to democrats?

  4. Meh. We need vending machines that dispense *credit cards*.

  5. Imagine my surprise that this debuted in Abu Dhabi. Shocked, I am.

    Too bad I’m not going back anytime soon. It would certainly be an interesting thing to see in person.

    1. It actually debuted in Germany 1 year ago.…..hines.html

      1. Imagine my surprise that this was picked up and implemented in Abu Dhabi so quickly.

        1. Good save.

  6. for when world currency markets collapse.

    hahahaha i wish you were joking.

    1. Get bent, sucker.

  7. They need a companion machine like the ones in museums, where you put in a penny and it is used to make an oval medallion for you with the museum logo, or such.

    Gold is softer than copper, so it should work pretty well!

  8. when world currency markets collapse.

    Katherine Mangu-Ward – another libertarian cheering for failure/collapse.

    Stay classy!

  9. Why, oh why, haven’t I been buying gold for the past few years? Fucking stupid worthless stocks.

    1. Why not buy some now? Because you think it’s as high as it will go?

      1. Oh, I’ll start. I just should have started 5 years ago.

  10. Looks like a great place to rob. Seems like you’d hit the jackpot whether you got ’em coming or going.

    1. I don’t think you really want to be in the stealing business in Arab countries.

      1. Yes, but on the other hand… Oh! Well, on the other hand…

      2. I ain’t scared. I can outrun a camel.

  11. Speaking of currency collapse, did you know that the problem with California is a tax-collection shortage?

    Schwarzenegger’s newest plan will revise the proposals introduced in January to account for the tax-collection shortages.

  12. My first thought was, “I wonder how long before that machine gets broken into/stolen.”

    My second thought was, “If this isn’t the loudest, most-clear contrarian indicator I’ve ever seen, then I don’t know what is.”

  13. Bob #2, regarding your first thought, you clearly aren’t familiar with Abu Dhabi. The chances are pretty much on the level of a humanity-ending asteroid hitting us in 10 minutes.

  14. Wow, $1200 an ounce? When I bought most of my gold it was under $400 an ounce. Time to sell maybe??


    1. I’ll give you $500 an ounce for your Gold. That’s a 25% profit for you!

    2. Wow, even anonimity bot is a gold bug!

    3. No I don’t think you. Look at a pretty slow moving average of the Dow, priced in gold, instead of dollars. When you can squint at that, and it is plainly in an uptrend, that is when you sell your gold.

    4. 400 Quatloons on the new-comers.

  15. Women CEOs Beat Men in Pay in 2009:…..d=10630664

    1. “But still, even the women who have broken through the glass ceiling say that much has to change culturally in the business for women to reach parity at all levels. The hope is that the few who have made it to the top can start that change from the highest levels.”
      Nice. Good luck with that. Most of those women are at the top because they can make their companies profitable. That kind of goes against paying people more money than they ask for (and/or deserve based on working hours).

  16. I think it’s funny that there is a line at the machine.

  17. For the record, I think we should all pitch in and buy one of these for Mr. Dean.

    I think you should, too. Make sure its fully stocked, please.

    Although for the moment, I’ve got about as much in gold/gold stocks as I want. Next time there’s a dip, I may pick up some silver coins – currently I have less than 5% of my net worth in gold coins, and no silver. I’d like to get that up around 10%.

    The “custom coin” idea is idiocy. The whole point of a coin is that it is a certified weight of a certified purity. A custom coin has no such utility.

    1. Wonder how good the security is on these Automated Goldfinger Machines?

    2. Make sure its fully stocked, please.

      You might want to put another brace under the floor where this thing will live.

      And if someone comes in and carries it out, you should be extra nice to them.

      1. Never thought I’d see an Italian Job reference here at H&R.

    3. The utility is in finally paying tribute to Justin Bieber as our age’s Augustus Caesar.

      Render unto Bieber that which is Bieber’s.

  18. Can you put your gold in, and get money out?

    1. Only while the bubble is getting bigger.

      1. I’m torn on gold. I didn’t have the extra capital to put in when my hunches indicated a good buy around $900, and now its become so popular that I worry about the bubble effect. But my overall lack of faith in the Western financial model and fear over rampant money manufacturing by Western governments still has me thinking there’s plenty of upside potential…

        Fuck it, Hi Ho Silver!

        1. Yeah, the poor man’s gold. I drop by my local coin shop and pick up silver rounds every once in a while.

  19. It’s not like I’m going to actually RTFA.

  20. Cool!
    I wonder if you can tip those machines forward and get free shit, like those old Coke machines.
    I’m going to give it a try.

    1. ‘Bout fucking time! I’ve been waiting to give you an award for a long time!

      1. Hehehehe.
        I’ve already got plenty of your fuckin’ awards on my mantle.
        The ex-wife didn’t want them, and my rehab counselor isn’t too impressed either.

  21. Don’t worry Chuck. I’ve got this one.

    1. We see your aim is as bad as ours. He’s a slippery fuck!

  22. Personally I think that gold at $1200+ per ounce is not a great investment. Barring total economic collapse, it’s not going to get much higher.

    And if total economic collapse does occur, it’s not going to be useful for trading for the bare necessities of life when the smallest coin is worth $150. Junk silver is much better “end of the world as we know it” insurance IMHO.

    1. If all of the world currency markets go tits up, you would probably be better off investing in ammunition and water than gold or silver.

  23. What we really need is a vending machine that dispenses shot gun shells and flashlight batteries, those will be worth a lot more than a useless metal like gold, when the collapse comes. Happy thoughts.

    1. Or better yet. Pot.

  24. you can start thinking about what design you want to put on your coins for when world currency markets collapse.

    You guys act as if gold is not itself a currency.

    1. I don’t know what the code meant. If I did, it would be too late. To understand the code is to carry out its instructions. Maybe I was to become a transmitter like Tyler, unwittingly passing the code on the main target. Maybe I was the main target and would begin the countdown to things once I got the code. I knew our only chance was for me to blast Tyler before he got to part two.

      So that’s what I did.

  25. Dan T. acts like he’s a smart guy.

  26. Seems like you’d hit the jackpot whether you got ’em coming or going.Thanks so much for compiling so much useful information in one place.

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