Guess Who 'Sploded Your Ship?

|

Former South Korean President Kim Dae Jung won a Nobel Peace Prize in 2000 for his efforts at reconciliation with the criminal regime in Pyongyang (the so-called Sunshine Policy), which provided North Korea with significant aid while getting almost nothing in return. The policy was abandoned in 2008 by President Lee Myung-bak, having done nothing to alleviate the squalid conditions suffered by the hostages of the Juche dictatorship. Now, how will President Lee respond to news that Cheonan naval ship was likely, though not definitively, sunk by a North Korean torpedo? The latest from the AP:

South Korea's defense minister confirmed Monday that traces of an explosive chemical substance used to make torpedoes were found in the wreckage of a naval ship that sank near the border with North Korea.

The 1,200-ton Cheonan went down in the Yellow Sea on March 26 after an explosion tore through the frigate. Fifty-eight sailors were rescued, but 46 were killed. Seoul has not directly blamed North Korea for the sinking, and Pyongyang has denied involvement. However, suspicion has focused on the North, given its history of provocations and attacks.

South Korean Defense Minister Kim Tae-young said earlier that an initial investigation indicated that a torpedo was likely to blame for the disaster. On Monday, he confirmed media reports that traces of a high explosive were found on the ship's wreckage.

"It's true that RDX, a chemical substance used in making torpedoes, has been detected," he told reporters. "The possibility of a torpedo (attack) has increased, but it's too early to say anything."

I wrote about the hipster sunshine policy here, which involves make skinny jeans with North Korean slave labor.

NEXT: Jolly Rancher Earns Third-Grade Girl a Week of Detention

Editor's Note: We invite comments and request that they be civil and on-topic. We do not moderate or assume any responsibility for comments, which are owned by the readers who post them. Comments do not represent the views of Reason.com or Reason Foundation. We reserve the right to delete any comment for any reason at any time. Report abuses.

  1. What’s a little torpedo killing 46 among enemies? Move along here. Nothing to see.

    1. They are still technically at war with us. Thanks to Doug and Harry.

      1. Doug and Harry deserve all the blame?

      2. You can blame FDR, Truman and Ike (and the UN). Doug was famously told he didn’t have any say in the matter.

        1. “You can blame FDR, Truman and Ike (and the UN).”

          And the Tri-lateral Commission. And the Federal Reserve. And the Communists in the State Department.

          1. Meat Filled Tomatoes
            Scoop out a tomato, and drain the core. Fry a pound of mince meat and add some cooked rice to it. Stuff the mixture into the tomato, and sprinkle with breadcrumbs and melted butter, Cook in a slow oven for 1.5 hours

            1. Starbucks recently launched its “However-You-Want-It” Frappuccino promotion (the gist: you can have the poor barista behind the counter make your blended beverage to your exact specifications). To celebrate, the chain is offering a “happy hour” promotion at participating locations from 3?5 PM, during which you can enjoy your blended beverages for half the customary cost. But act soon: the happiness ends on May 16.

              1. finally you give us something useful

                1. I mean it, thanks. I like to go to Starbucks while my mom bangs guys. Calms the nerves, and I can think of my next cute idea! Thank’s Daddy Nice guy!

            2. What is mince meat?

              1. It’s mouse meat. I learned that from some cartoon…”I’ll make mincemeat outta that mouse.” Ergo…

                You’re welcome!

                1. Now I understand. And yes, thank you.

                2. I hates Mieces to Pieces!!

                  1. The actual quote is “I hate those meeces to pieces!”. … Also, my friend Klondike Kat is no longer “making mincemeat outta that mouse” or any other mouse. Seems that the costs of all the regulations from USDA, FDA and OSHA along with the increased minimum wage forced him to shut down production.

              2. Mincemeat = minced (finely chopped) meat

  2. There’s something off in your last sentence. I think “make” should be “making”.

    1. He’s just a racist. He’s trying to make fun of Koreans (or, as he would say, “China-men”). But he’s not very good at it, since “make” for “making” is more of a slavic error (“skinny jean” would be the appropriate Asian-type error).

  3. Chemical residues from a sunken wreck? Ummm, not exactly conclusive.

    Wouldn’t examining the hull be the only conclusive way to know if it was hit by a torpedo? Call up the discovery channel, they’ll have an ROV down there lickitysplit!

    1. Thanks for pointing that out – I thought the same thing too. That is not to say that I think it was not by the NK’s… but this is the part where we can insert tired, but relavent WMD arguments too… the implications of a NK sinking a SK ship is far too heavy to weigh on chemical residue of ship at the bottom of the sea.

    2. Uh, both halves of the wreck have been raised. Like, not on the bottom of the ocean any more.

  4. What could South Korea do to that nation that its own government hasn’t already done ten times over?

    1. Bomb the Palestinians maybe? Or Iran? Works for Moynihan, Scandinavian Liberty Lover!

      1. Way to read there, fuckass.

      2. Cheesy Balls
        Sprinkle salt into cream cheese. Roll into balls. Place a clove into each ball. Serve.

        1. Remember when we told you about chef-owner Russell Jackson’s secret ingredient at Lafitte? Well, just now we were informed that the ingredient is actually rare, much-sought-after Iberico ham, flown in from La Alberca, Spain. It will be served in various dishes starting tonight and lasting until it runs out (the restaurant guesses a week and a half). Expect items like pork belly, spare ribs with lentils (a recipe he learned firsthand from a French chef, secreto (shoulder muscle), roast pork chops, and solomillo (tenderloin). Oh, Russell, you so crazy!

          Additionally, the restaurant plans to launch brunch this weekend and lunch starting Wednesday, May 12 (415-839-2134).

          .

          1. Daddy’s Chicken Thighs

            2 chicken thighs
            1 snip parsely

            Daddy, why your thighs so chickenly?! Why the other men Mommy, why?!! I hate liberals!!! Oh mommy, no!!1 No!!!

            1. I prefer Father Brian’s 8″ Sausages. They have a nice creamy filling.

              1. Father Brian made momma feel so good when daddy was gone…

                LUBERTY!

                I hate liberals!

                And people who screw my mom…

                Why mommy, why.

      3. Minge, you magnificent illiterate fucktard!

        1. He’s a bad man cynical, he touched my mommy! He put her in a coma with his love-stick! Bad, bad, liberals are bad!

        2. I live to serve, my Lord

  5. I’m kind of surprised North Korea even had a functioning torpedo. I’d have thought it was traded for rice a few years ago.

    1. Ummm, I imagine they traded rice for the torpedos. Starving peasants be damned.

      1. I meant the soldiers and sailors would take the functioning parts of their equipment and trade them illegally for rice.

        1. I think the soldiers and sailors get fed.

  6. If only there were some way this could be blamed on the Iranians…

    1. They paid for the torpedo by buying missle parts.

  7. ” Now, how will President Lee respond to news that Cheonan naval ship was likely, though not definitively, sunk by a North Korean torpedo?”

    Moynihan’s preferred answer: “He should declare immediate war!!!!”

    1. Carrot Custard
      Melt some butter and fry some onions in it, add some flour. Add 1.5 cups of mashed carrots and some beaten eggs. Bake in a casserole for 25 minutes.

      1. The Dedham location of Finz has closed. In its place, a branch of the Italian restaurant Sagra (the original is in Somerville) is looking to launch around May 15. The space will be much larger than the original, with a capacity of 329, and the menu will be largely the same, save for the addition of more seafood options.

      2. Ghost Kitty, I know you feel you’ve latched on to the one cute idea of your adolescent life, but your grandma was wrong: you’re not especially clever.

        Like you’re mom told me last night, I can keep it up all night.

        1. my mom’s in a coma, you sick fuck

          1. I hate you for banging her so hard! Daddy never did that, NEVER!

            Cheesy balls
            Add 1/2 oz colby jack
            To 2 oz bread crumbs

            Mommy why the bad man, why not daddy!

  8. i sploded hiz ship

    cuz he dont give me noms

    1. I can haz RDX?

  9. oh wow that makes pretty good sense to me dude.

    Lou
    http://www.anonymous-posting.us.tc

  10. thats making pretty good sense to me dude.

    Lou
    http://www.anon-vpn.cz.tc

  11. “The possibility of a torpedo (attack) has increased, but it’s too early to say anything.”

    They have to know already. They’re probably just waiting until they can release all their findings as accurately as they can.

    1. “The possibility of a torpedo (attack) has increased, but it’s too early to say anything.”

      How likely is it to be anything else?

      Why would we buy that it’s anything but the most obvious, simplest explanation without proof?

      The appropriate response to something like that is another question entirely, but we’re not stupid!

      I’m with the Colonel on this one. If a warship in disputed waters blows up like it was hit by a torpedo, how stupid do you have to be to assume it was something other than a North Korean torpedo?

  12. The life of a Repo Man is always intense.

  13. Traces of RDX?

    Hmmm. Are they implying TWA is responsible? Innnnteresting.

  14. North Korea is very hard on homosexuals like myself, which makes me very nervous. Mommy why the bad men, why?!

    1. Why are you hard on homosexuals? Why can’t you just live and let live?

    2. Not as hard as Ward was on the Beaver last night.

  15. like, I totally know what you’re talking about! I feel the same way. Especially since Uncle Lou thought I was too old.

  16. It’s OK Baby Kitty, lot’s of people have impotent adolescent rage instead of intellectual arguments. Entire movements revolve around it!

    Maybe you shouldn’t be defined by what your mommy did?

    1. who hurt you?

  17. I can’t keep up with MNG clearly…My adolescent rage is not the equivalent of actual intelligence or arguments…But my rage, my very impotent rage must be recognized! I have a cute ideas about trolls! It’s cute! They shouldn’t be “fed”, so offer them recipes! Get it, get it, get it!!! Please recognize my cute idea, please! It’s cute, it’s good, oh mommy, can’t you see, it’s cute, I’m cute, not those other not-daddys, they are not cute, not like me, oh mommy why can’t you see…

  18. Play nice, or you won’t get dessert tomorrow. I was going to make your favorite too. With a second scoop of vanilla ice cream!

    1. stop calling me!

  19. Holy shit, what a sewer of a thread this has become.

    1. I can’t help it, it’s my daddy, it’s me, she did us wrong, the bad-men, the mng liberals, they shouldn’t be able to do to mommy what she lets them! I’ll ruin every thread, every thread, until those liberals who touch other people’s mommys pay! And my idea, it’s so cute, tell me, please tell me it is! Cute! Mommy, why?!

      1. until those liberals who touch other people’s mommys pay!

        Liberals never pay for anything. They’re freeloaders. That’s what defines them.

    2. It’s actually kind of surreal. I sort of enjoyed it.

      1. I guess, if you’re into projectile vomiting retards-on-ice performance art.

        1. That made me laugh so hard I teared up.

      2. I kind of feel like the last two months or so have been a slow motion degradation of some H&R posters’ intellects, a la Flowers for Algernon, except they never actually got smarter than “Charly” first.
        I’m thinking cheap methanol-tainted booze and maybe a little syphilis thrown in for good measure.

        1. I agree on the methanol but the decline seems too steep for tertiary syphilis – I’m thinking someone is either on an ether binge or found a can of toluene and is now huffing until the nosebleeds start.

          1. I enjoyed the surrealism of the recipe retorts to trolling, but the above ‘tardness is a bit over the top, even for H&R.

  20. I think the transmogrification is complete.

  21. Ghost Kitty, you’re a lightweight and adolescent.

    I’ve posted here for years, more years than you’ve had hair on your balls.

    I don’t know what adolescent trauma combined with lack of intellectual heft compels you to keep beating your silly horse, but please continue. In the span of a few minutes I can demonstrate my mastery over your B-game intellect.

    See, a kid like you doesn’t get to show up on this site like a child wandering into a movie and decide who is a “troll” and who is not. You yourself have virtually no actual facts or arguments to venture forward, just your one precious “cute” idea. Is that not the definition of a troll? I’ve been here longer than you, putting forth more reasoned arguments than you, get bent my lil’ love child if you happen to wander in and disagree with me. You are bush-league, even on your own terms.

    Now go and tell ya momma about that!

    1. Don’t talk about my momma! She’s in the coma because of the bad thing you did to her! Daddy never did that to her while he was here! Never, she said so!

      Oh Daddy, why did you go?! Why did I make you so mad?! Mommy why, why did he leave us, why the others?!

      I hate you MNG! You liberals love welfare, and my mom only had to be on it because liberals like you took her from my daddy! I hate you!

    2. You just admitted that the recipe guy wins.

      Now shut the fuck up.

      1. Col.

        You’re part of the B-team here. Unlike Hazel Meade, or Kolohoe, or TAO, you just express a STRONGLY felt opinion as an argument. It’s very STRONGLY felt, I agree. But uusually pathetic.

        Angus rarely breaks the three sentence barrier. Words are tough for these folks.

        1. I don’t have a basket weaving terminal degree, so I have better things to do than be a forum whore. And it only takes one sentence to be right anyway.

  22. I don’t know if this was me or not. I doubt it, I’m much more articulate. I certainly wouldn’t use a phrase like “hair on your balls”. Clearly I’m being spoofed.

    1. see, Ghost Kitty is a figment of my imagination. I’m arguing with myself. That’s what makes this so much fun!

  23. One tick pony Ghost Kitty pulled his arrogant “policing” action, and then, when faced with me in real time, retreaed to hide behind his mom’s (bloody) skirts like the adolescent coward he is.

    How “cute” are you now goofball? Can’t keep up? One trick pony perhaps?

    Lightweight, lightweight…Whatever happend to the real challenges, like TAO or Kolohe etc.? Jesus.

    1. Even though I haven’t said anything important since the Carter administration. Yeah, that zinger about the Oil Crisis sure floored them at the milk counter that day!
      Now back to my Dell cross sums. This June edition is a real pickle!

    2. Bull Penis Soup

      As long as we’re going with the surreal recipe schtick, might as well step it up a notch …

  24. And I promise I’ll let you two finish. But Mr. Moynihan should know, as he seems to present himself here as well-read on Korean affairs, that “Juche” ideology really doesn’t mean shit to the North Koreans. It’s a distraction for outsiders, how the regime presents itself to the outside world.

    But the average North Korean doesn’t really understand or care about it. The INTERNAL propaganda is much more juvenile, and more about racism, extreme nationalism, and leader worship. The whole “communist” thing doesn’t really factor in.

  25. ARFARFARFARFARFARFARFARFARFARFARFARFARF

    -runs in circles, biting tail-

  26. your stupid

    1. who is stupid?

      1. you are stupid?

        1. more like intellectual lightweight

  27. Barfman’s services are needed ALL over this thread.

  28. This is where the internet ends. Trolls impersonating trolls impersonating trolls.

    Jesus wept.

  29. Yay! Let’s all post as MNG!

  30. It’s Ignore-A-Troll Tuesday?!
    Yaaaay!

  31. Thanks to Doug and Harry

  32. Two months later, still no war.

    I guess Moynihan will have to paradrop into Pyongyang and start it personally.

Please to post comments

Comments are closed.