Government Spending

Defense Technical Information Center Announces New Recycling Initiative, Green Cupcakes for Earth Day*

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These are actually for a little kid. But imagine how cool it would be watch military brass pick GI Joes off the top of their cupcakes at an Earth Day party

A snippet from The Washington Post on how the federal government will be celebrating Earth Day tomorrow, by having Everybody Do Things:

Vice President Biden will award $452 million in "Retrofit Ramp-up" grants to 25 communities across the country on Wednesday to kick off five days of events surrounding the 40th anniversary of Earth Day. In addition to the retrofit awards, every federal agency will commemorate Earth Day with an event or new policy announcement.

OK, new policy announcements from the Department of the Interior I can understand. Events hosted by the Department of Education I can understand. Earth Day is probably big for those guys.

But every federal agency? Must the American Battle Monuments Commission garland their heroes in green? Must the Defense Technical Information Center buy cupcakes for staff at an assembly to announce a new recycling program? Do we really need the English Language Acquisition Office to produce posters on how to say weatherize in Spanish?

*Note: All of these activities are made up. I assume we'll hear about the real things tomorrow. Stay tuned.

For more, read Ronald Bailey on Earth Day's 40th birthday. Will the Earth celebrate with cupcakes?

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  1. The hypocrites at NBC and its affiliated networks are doing their green logo thing all week. I wonder how many of them walked to work today.

  2. Here’s an idea: all government agencies turn out the lights. Permanently.

  3. mmmmm. cupcakes.

  4. I was doing some work for a company which has close ties to a state agency yesterday, so I had to meet with some federal employees to discuss applicable regulations and get the lay of the land. The woman I was speaking with and I had a good laugh when she mentioned that she and to go speak at some earth day event and talk about how her dept was being “earth friendly”, she said they were doing absolutely nothing…

  5. For Earth Day last year I had to go to a local college that was having its annual Earth Day/Save Mother Gaia event. It was a beautiful, warm, sunny day, but nobody bothered turning off the heat inside the building; it was about 95 degrees in there, but instead of turning off the heat, they opened all the windows to let the heat dissipate outside.

    Naturally, the editors cut that observation from the story before it made it to print.

    1. You’ve got the wrong editors, J.

  6. Yummy. Cupcakes. Do want!

    Lou
    http://www.ultimate-privacy.at.tc

  7. Anonymity Guy gets what’s important here.

  8. I’m celebrating Earth Day by going to Martian neighborhoods to fuck shit up. EARTH FOR EARTHLINGS! MARTIANS RAUS!

    1. “Under Martian law doctors and other wizards are forbidden!”

  9. Speaking of cupcakes, my wife made the chocolate cupcake recipe from this month’s Cook’s Illustrated.

    Best. Fucking. Cupcakes. Ever. So intensely chocolatastic I was actually light-headed after eating one.

  10. So intensely chocolatastic I was actually light-headed after eating one.

    That was your pancreas getting ready to go. Careful, lest you end up all SugarFreeish.

    1. Fat actually slows the absorption of sugar. Probably better for his pancreas than downing a liter of Pepsi.

      Of course, I’m a terrible diabetic. My blood sugar crashed in the middle of the night last week and I ate 2/3 of a jar of peanut butter in a fugue state. I may never eat peanut butter again.

      1. What about pudding?

        Captain Murphy: It’s not a toy. It makes real cupcakes, with a 40 watt bulb, and there’s icing packets. But the secret ingredient is love. Damn it.
        Marco: Just try to calm down, go have some pudding.
        Captain Murphy: Pudding can’t fill the emptiness inside me! But it’ll help.

        1. The 1st season of that was comedy gold.

          1. Yeah. The guy who played Murphy died and that show tanked after that.

  11. When the government forces departments to observe Earth Day, why isn’t it unconstitutional on the grounds of separation of church and state? Sounds like official paganism to me.

    1. We’ll get right on that. After we finish the celebratory human sacrifices for Earth Day.

  12. Stupid Earth Day is stealing my days off. I have to work a stupid “Earth Day Gathering” on Thursday. To add insult to injury I won’t make any fucking money either. Stupid Earth. Always keeping me down.

    1. Gravity pun – nice!

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